Hi there, welcome

Please note the posting guidelines:
http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=10400.0 - no more than one new poem per day, and please do not post any new poems if you already have three on the front page. I've deleted one of your poems that had not yet received any responses, as you had four on the front page.
As for this poem, it's more of a diary entry than a poem IMO. Which contemporary poets do you like?
I have no idea how long you've been writing, but this has a number of weaknesses common to new poetry writers - have a look at the sticky, particularly the sections on writer versus reader centred writing, abstractions, and generalisations:
http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=7667.0 Hope that helps
