Author Topic: Abracabio! A Magical Journey to the Cell (excerpt from CB)  (Read 543 times)

Offline chelsean823

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Abracabio! A Magical Journey to the Cell (excerpt from CB)
« on: April 06, 2021, 03:18:53 AM »
Hi, this is an excerpt from my educational children's book. Any feedback/comments are greatly appreciated--thanks so much!

One day, Taylor is happily skipping home when she thinks of a question. Bursting in through the front door, she yells, “Mom! Mom! Hi Mom!” Mom smiles, waiting for the question she knows is coming. “What’s our question today, Taylor?” she asks.

Taylor begins explaining her dilemma: “On the bus ride home today, I realized something: ALL of my friends are totally different!

George is always playing with his dinosaurs. But I know that reading is much more fun!
Then there’s Chelsea, who loves to cuddle with her cat. But we LOVE dogs!
Kyle likes red. But everyone knows that purple is the best color!
Why are we all so different?

Mom, a biologist, is very excited to answer Taylor’s question. “Actually, Taylor, people are more similar than they are different. Let’s go to my lab to see why,” she says. When they get to her room, Mom takes out lab coats and goggles. “Safety first!”

Mom pulls out some weird stuff… Taylor has no idea what is going on. “What are those?”

Pointing to a shiny machine, Mom replies, “This is a microscope. Cells are really small, and this machine makes them look big enough for us to see them! This dish over here is called a petri dish. Inside it, there are millions and millions of cells.”

“Wow, a million is a whole lot of cells!” Taylor exclaims. Mom nods her head, “Yep! If you had one million kids stand up on top of each others’ shoulders, they would stand taller than airplanes can even fly!”

Mom puts her eye up to the circular piece of the microscope and adjusts some of the levers. Then she says, “Ok, we’re all ready! Come and have a look, Taylor!”

Taylor excitedly puts her eye up to the microscope. To her surprise, she sees lots of wiggly ovals. “Are those cells?” she asks. “Yes they are!” says Mom.
Taylor wondered… what are cells really?

Mom began to explain: “Cells are the building blocks of all life on Earth, and they’re part of what makes us all the same.”
Now Taylor is really interested--“Mom, I want to learn more about cells!”

Mom says, “Then let’s do it. All we have to do is point at the cells and say the magic word.” Taylor says, “Is it abracadabra?” “Nope, it’s abracabio!”
“On three. One, two, three. Abracabio!”

Taylor and Mom are whisked into the cell, falling through a flashing portal of lights. They land on a clear, jelly-like patch of land in a vibrant, beautiful world.

“It’s so magical!” Taylor exclaims. “Yay! We are now inside the cell! Let’s go meet some of my cell friends!”

They keep walking along the path until Taylor sees a circular friend in the distance and runs ahead. “Who is this?” she calls back to Mom. “Meet RB! He makes proteins, which are very important for life.” Taylor is a bit confused. “What are proteins?” she asks.

Mom says, “Proteins are those chains of beads that you see RB making. Every type of protein has its own function, and they work together to keep the cell running by building and repairing all the different parts.” “Wow!” Taylor says. “I didn’t know cells have so much going on inside them… how cool!”

Mom smiles. “We’re just getting started!” Suddenly, the ground stretches out, and Taylor hears a super loud yawn. She asks Mom, “What’s happening?”
“We’re taking a walk on Roe, and she just woke up from her nap,” Mom explains.  “Ooh, what does Roe do?” “Roe folds those strings of beads into functional, active proteins. It’s kind of like when you fold origami at school. The paper by itself is pretty boring, but you need that paper to fold the awesome origami!” Taylor then says, “Oh, I understand now.”

Taylor yawns. Mom reaches down and takes her hand. “Let’s go home,” she says.

“But we haven’t learned how people are similar yet! We only learned about the different parts of the cell,” Taylor complains. Mom laughs and responds, “All of this, everything around us, is exactly what makes people the same!

Everyone we met had different colors, different shapes and sizes, and does different things, but every single one--Mito, RB, Roe, Gi, Nu, and their friends-- is what we are each built of. The same parts make up every cell, and the same cells make up every person!”

With one last look at the magical cell, Mom and Taylor leave and quietly bike home, with Taylor deep in thought.
Back home, Taylor and Mom reflect on their adventures. “So, did you have fun meeting our new friends today?” Taylor responds, “Yes! I learned that cells are in me and all my friends, George, Chelsea, and Kyle! We are all made of cells!”

“Everyone looks a little different on the outside, but when you look closer, we are all the same.” “Nice explanation, Taylor!” Mom wraps Taylor in a big teddy bear hug. “Now time to go to bed. A new adventure is waiting for us tomorrow!”

Offline c.e.abrams

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Re: Abracabio! A Magical Journey to the Cell (excerpt from CB)
« Reply #1 on: April 10, 2021, 07:22:08 PM »
“It’s so magical!” Taylor exclaims. “Yay! We are now inside the cell! Let’s go meet some of my cell friends!”

“Everyone looks a little different on the outside, but when you look closer, we are all the same.”

Lines like these are too cheesy. Try using words and sentence structures that actual kids use. Other than that I think this is a successful piece. I'm sure I would have enjoyed this book as a little kid.

Offline helen560

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Re: Abracabio! A Magical Journey to the Cell (excerpt from CB)
« Reply #2 on: June 19, 2021, 02:59:01 AM »
Hey mate! I appreciate your effort and work, this was a great story for the kids.