Author Topic: A rough start .......  (Read 1360 times)

Offline Ambrosia Tatum

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A rough start .......
« on: November 10, 2008, 02:06:35 PM »
I have been trying to write a nice, romantic story. I have to get the rest of it off of the hard drive from my old laptop. An ex got mad when it did not load something fast enough and threw the laptop on the floor, then stomped the keyboard. I do have an exerpt from the story. Comments are welcomed.

The story is about a girl named Kathryn who lives in a village where arranged marriages are done. She falls in love with a boy, Clayton, she meets while sun bathing by the beach. They spend afternoons together. Kate goes to a party where, by some misconception (her mother's wink and smile), she believes she is to marry a boy their she met. Kate does her best to adhere to her mother's wishes of getting fitted for a dress, ordering a cake, and other preparations for the wedding. She becomes stubborn close to her wedding time. Kate meets with Clayton at their spot on the beach at different hours of the day, and night. She begins to love him and believes he feels the same. The story ends at the wedding with her groom being not who she thought it was.

" Keep your head about you," Kate whispered as she leaned against her bedroom door. Her back could feel the coldness of the wood. " It was just a kiss."

Kate slowly made her way to her vanity. She sat down on the three-inch thick cushion. She untied a purple ribbon that had been holding her hair up all day. Golden curls with light red accents fell over her shoulder and half way down her back. She looked at herself in the mirror as she picked up her hairbrush and began to comb her silky hair.

The events of the day played out in her mind. Kate examined each moment trying to make sense of what led to Clayton's kiss. She was in no way improper this evening. Yet, when they walked in the garden after dinner, while everyone else stayed inside, Clayton had surprised her. They had just reached the edge of the garden near the bushes that were six feet tall. He had grabbed her, not forcefully, and pulled her behind one of the bushes. Clayton had wedged her between him and the bush. With all the gentleness of the day he drew his face down and pressed his lips on hers. Kate did not fight nor did she surrender. The feeling was none like she had ever felt before. It was soft, warm and inviting. Clayton held his kiss for a few minutes then released. Kate feeling shy about the moment lowered her eyes.

Coming to she realized she had been brushing her hair for twenty minutes. With a sigh she placed her brush on her vanity and blew out the candle.

This is all I have of the story, in hand. I wrote this in a notebook to keep up the story until able to salvage it. I know it is not much but I hope it gives some sense of the story.

Seldom are there second chances so live for today.......

Offline eric

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Re: A rough start .......
« Reply #1 on: November 10, 2008, 03:11:25 PM »
I think it's a soft start for a sweet story, one that's been told a million times but never seems to get too old for some readers.  Hoping that you can get the rest off the hard drive,  or not, I think you might post up in "Review My Work" and keep at it, add and add.