Orpheus choked on his doughnut.
'Jeepers! What the f##ck is that? Sorry. I meant... oh gosh what is that ugly
motherf...' clown doing here.'
He plucked another sugary brown orb (a donut) from the bag. Apple this time. Yummo - his favourite.... actually, the vanilla was his favourite... or was it the chocolate...?
Never mind. Sorry. Where was I...? Oh yes - the brown sugary orb.
'Who art thou, fiend?' said Orph and took a huge bite of the soft, scrumptious apple-filled, ball-shaped treat.
'Pardon?'
'I said....' Orph swallowed and wiped his mouth with a very long hand. Extremely long in fact. 'I said, "who art thou?'
The fiend grimaced and scratched his backside. 'Can't you guess?'
'No.'
'Go on, try. I'll vote for you on the next writing challenge.'
Orph rolled his eyes and sighed. 'Look, I'm rather busy, I've got a whole bag of donuts to get through and...'
'Annnd.... I'll buy a copy of your book.'
'Which one?' (can I get any more blatant? Take a hint for Christ's sake - all of you!)
'You have more than one?'
'Well..... that's not strictly true.. but I have contributed.'
The fiend threw his head back and howled a raucous, cackling, horrifying laugh... actually it was more of a snigger, but we need to set the scene. 'Contributed?' he sneered. And then he laughed again, and this time I recognized the sound. It was non other than...... the bearded gypsy bloke who lives in a caravan at the end of my garden.