I truly liked the revised version a whole lot better. I was thinking along the lines of some of the other comments on the first one that it was too abrupt and unpolished. I think though, that this is much more than just a short story. It's a very good story idea and I think you could really add a lot to it, turn it into a novel. I agreed with Mull though that there could be more of a reason behind it. A method to one's madness so to speak. A story should be believable to the point that the reader goes, "yeah, I could see how that could happen." When the main point of your story is this woman's psycosis, then it deserves an explaination.
