Author Topic: Trust me, I am not a poet!  (Read 2703 times)

Offline MaxieNZ

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Trust me, I am not a poet!
« on: August 05, 2008, 09:49:22 PM »
Hello to all the real poets here.

My beautiful young granddaughter asked me to, "Write a story about, Haggis and Suzi, Grandma."
Haggis = a bouncy black, sometimes shaggy, poodle.
Suzi = a 12-week-old burmese kitten.

Protestations did not work. "Grandma doesn't really write poetry." fell on deaf ears and a generous pout.
So, I wrote. Justice loves it and insisted I tell "the whole world".
By default, my Writers Circle is now the "whole world"...smiles

No critique neccessary -I am merely being obedient. Does not happen often...lol

SUZI STOLE MY BAD!

Everyone calls me Haggis.
I look like a sheep.
I bounce like a ball.
I bark like a dog.
I am bad!

Cats run away and I chase.
Birds fly into trees and I growl.
People walk past my fence and I bark.
Everyone says I'm bad!


One day everything went wrong.


Little and black, it didn't run away.
It pushed its nose into my food
And wasn't afraid of my growl.
I barked - it laughed
I felt mad!

I sniffed it - it licked my nose.
It followed me all over the house.
When I lay down to sleep.
It curled up by my tummy.
Oh no, was I was losing my bad!


The little black bundle walked out in the grass.
A HUGE cat jumped over the fence.
The black bundle ran over to play!
They didn't ask me.
I felt sad!


"Suzi. Suzi."
The black bundle looked up.
"Come on Haggis. You come too."
I bounced and ran to beat the bundle home.
It made a funny, gurgly sound.
And rubbed my leg.
My tummy went squishy and I gave it a lick.
Oh blink! That Suzi had stolen my bad!

Enjoy :)

Maxie


*Sometimes, it takes the long road to reach the beginning.* Macina aka MaxieNZ

Nothing

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Re: Trust me, I am not a poet!
« Reply #1 on: August 05, 2008, 09:54:34 PM »
Well anything that has to do with animals, such as these two sweet ones, tends to make me all mushy. I did enjoy the read. They sound like sweet animals. Haggis can have some of my bad. (smiles)

Nothing.

Offline eric

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Re: Trust me, I am not a poet!
« Reply #2 on: August 06, 2008, 12:14:59 AM »
Well, that's a sweet thought, Maxie, to post something for the whole world to see, to show how much Justice loves it.  And my dog Joe, having woofed all over it, can relate.  However, since you are not really looking for critiques, and this is a critique board where critiques are expected, you would probably be more comfortable having your poem posted in The Gallery (another MWC board) where critiques are not encouraged.  That would also free up some of the limited space of the front page of this board for poems that need a critique.

The Gallery is right down there.  Simply post something right in this thread asking a moderator to move you to the Gallery.  Thanks and a special hello to Ms. Justice!

Offline geopoet

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Re: Trust me, I am not a poet!
« Reply #3 on: August 06, 2008, 01:12:24 AM »
It was beautiful...i really enjoyed reading it! ;)
Obedience to God's commandments is the highest form of worship.

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Offline MaxieNZ

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Re: Trust me, I am not a poet!
« Reply #4 on: August 06, 2008, 02:21:30 AM »
Thank you kindly, Eric :)

I didn't tell, Haggis that Joe was likely a male dog.. she is a girl and I knew there would be no sleep in the house tonight!
Justice will be delighted "the world" has read HER poem. Yes, she holds complete rights it would seem :)

Note to Moderator: Please pick up my post and toss it into The Gallery.

Regards
Maxie
*Sometimes, it takes the long road to reach the beginning.* Macina aka MaxieNZ

Offline MaxieNZ

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Re: Trust me, I am not a poet!
« Reply #5 on: August 06, 2008, 02:46:29 AM »
Thank you, Nothing & Geopoet :)

You have some top notch bad going on there, Nothing. "My Grandmother, what BIG teeth you have." lol

Maxie
*Sometimes, it takes the long road to reach the beginning.* Macina aka MaxieNZ

Offline Amie

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Re: Trust me, I am not a poet!
« Reply #6 on: August 06, 2008, 03:11:23 AM »
Note to Moderator: Please pick up my post and toss it into The Gallery.

Okey dokey :)
"You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet." - Kafka

Offline Xerika

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Re: Trust me, I am not a poet!
« Reply #7 on: August 06, 2008, 09:10:22 PM »
Maxie, although I'm aware you're not looking for a critique (which I wouldn't be very good at anyway), I have to say that I loved your ending with 'That Suzi had stolen my bad!'

What do you mean 'I am not a poet'? A non-poet would have just said 'badness'.

Incidentally, have you ever come across the children's poetry of Spike Milligan (a personal hero of mine)? If not, I would strongly recommend taking a look.

Is your granddaughter really called Justice? What a wonderful name. I've never heard that as someone's name before.



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"I'd Rather Eat My Own Face" podcast. The truth about olive harvesting. http://wp.me/p2bC2C-8U

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Offline eric

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Re: Trust me, I am not a poet!
« Reply #8 on: August 06, 2008, 11:48:48 PM »
Justice is a delightful name, Maxie, is it not?

Offline MaxieNZ

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Re: Trust me, I am not a poet!
« Reply #9 on: August 07, 2008, 02:04:02 AM »
Hello again :)

Yes, Justice is, Justice-Hope. My son named her. His reasoning: "With luck she will know justice in her life and I have the hope she will do so." I guess it beats being called, Apple :)

Spike Milligan...
      His poems/prose were the salve on my young heart as a child. Whenever, I was sad, lonely or in pain I would read one of his poems and the giggles would return. Of course I first heard him on the radio as one of the Goons. Only later did I come to appreciate the depths of the man himself. I sometimes wondered what kind of film would result with him and Frank Spencer..lol
I love The Land of the Bumbly Boo, Feelings and of course, Granny :)

I have written short snippets (poetry & stories) for my children and now do so for my grand-daughter. Gives me sqirgly feelings in my tummy when Justice sits on a stool beside my computer as I write and my mind spins back thirty years when my own babies did the same.

Thank you both, Xerika and Eric for my joy in remembering :)

Live free
Maxie
*Sometimes, it takes the long road to reach the beginning.* Macina aka MaxieNZ

Offline Margarett

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Re: Trust me, I am not a poet!
« Reply #10 on: August 08, 2008, 11:31:17 AM »
Very sweet hope your granddaughter liked it..
Dance in the raindrops. Slide down a rainbow. Make our world a more beautiful place. Keep a smile handy and give them away.
After all they are free!  " SMILE "

Dodey

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Re: Trust me, I am not a poet!
« Reply #11 on: August 09, 2008, 07:17:06 PM »
Just adorable, and I too love the name Justice.
So innocently sweet and great imagery. Bravo .Dodey