Author Topic: Untitled Romance (curse words) 1200 + words  (Read 1160 times)

Offline Yvonne

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Untitled Romance (curse words) 1200 + words
« on: June 16, 2008, 04:18:51 AM »
OK thanks to domenics piece  Fear of Failure...You can run but you can't hide, I am going to try my first ever showing of my work.  I know I will do many typos and I won't format it right so let me know everything I do wrong I know there will be to many he's and she's so I will need help there to.  I am ready.  So here it goes. Oh the title I am unsure of right now I will be giving it a title soon, I think.
                             Here we go
I was 17 years old when I met the man that would change my life forever.  Unfortunately, it would not be the change that every little girl dreams of .  No fairy tale wedding, no amazing kids, well none that would live, and especially no happily ever after.  The only good that became of the whole relationship was he forced me to learn how to survive the cold mean world.  His name is Sawyer.  When we met I was 17 years old and he was 27.  He had lived a life that I had only watched in the news and in horror movies.  I thought my childhood had been bad with no father and a pill popping alcoholic mother.  His childhood had mine and everyone else's topped by far.  His step-father despised him and beat him every day from the time he and his mother were married till the time he ran away from home at 15.  The horrible thing they let him go.  They didn't call the police, didn't even look for him.  You would think they were drug addicts or alcoholics.  Well they weren't.  They just never loved him.   The streets became his home and drugs became his parents.  Drugs ruled his life, told him what to do and how to act and he obeyed their every command as long as they made the pain of being alive go away.

I met Sawyer at a party my roommate Jada dragged me to.  Their was alcohol and pot and I am sure other things but I wasn't into "other things" whiskey and a cigarette was as hard as I got.  I had on a black tank top and a tight pair of my size 3 jeans.  I didn't have much breast wise but my ass and abs made up for that.  My stomach was like a washboard and my ass was what they call the ghetto booty.  I had long flowing blond curly hair parted to the side all one length and one crazy rule less piece that covered the right lens of my black rimmed glasses.  Some one once told me glasses on me was like a diamond in the gold ring, they made me absolutely gorgeous.  I noticed   Sawyer as soon as he came through the door no one could miss him.  He was so tall he had to duck and turn sideways so he wouldn't bump his head or get his thick torso stuck in the small trailer door frame.  He had a green and dark blue polo shirt on with thick popeye type arms lunging out the arm holes and a pair of boot cut Levi jeans with tennis shoes.  The boot cut was for his massive calves so they could breathe.  His skin was tan and he had the bleached blond hair.  When he scanned the room he noticed me immediately and we locked eyes.  They were so green and wide, those of a crazy man, but beautiful like a green emerald stone.  He gave me a half cocked smile like he was unsure he should be smiling at me.  When I smiled shyly back at him the other side of his mouth rose up with pleasure into a grin from ear to ear.  He started walking over to me when a busty blond women came in behind him and grabbed his shoulders.

"Where have you been?  I started to think you weren't coming.  Where ya been?"

He shook her off his shoulders ignoring her questions and headed to the kitchen table where all the alcohol was and started mixing himself a drink while she kept babbling about something he was clearly not interested in.  She was a sight to see.  She had fluffy short blond hair a pair of shorts that accented the cellulite poring out the under rim of her ass that was peeking out because the shorts were ridiculously to small.  Her flabby tummy fell over the belt loops.  She had a t-shirt on with print but you couldn't read it because it was tied into a knot and shoved under her breasts.  Her make-up was so thick she looked like she had forgot she put some on and applied it 3 more times.  Her name was Kim and she was the most annoying drunk there.  She even beat my roommates loud redneck date and he was loud.  His name was Billy and he was why we ended up at the party in the first place.  Me Jada and Billy sat on the couch drinking our mixed drinks of wild turkey and coke talking amongst ourselves.  Sawyer kept watching me and the more he watched the louder and stupider she got.  She started gyrating on his massive form like a dog in heat as if he'd enjoy it.  He just looked at her like she was a pile of dog shit instead.

"Look I am fixing to leave, you want to go get nasty with me?" Kim demanded
"Does it look like I am ready to go?" Sawyer said in disgust.
"Well when you get through playing with Miss Barbie don't come knocking on my door expecting me to fuck you then!"

He just simply said OK.  She turned to leave and fell on her face when her silhouette heel broke.  Everyone started laughing she got up took her other shoe off grabbed the broke heel and told everyone to fuck off as she walked out the door.  All the pot heads got invited to another room to smoke a joint.

"You coming in here with us?" Jada asked me.
"Nope you know I hate the smell of that stuff.  Go and be merry." I answered her.
"You gonna be ok?  That man keeps looking at you like he's gonna eat you like a wild animal."She grabbed my arm and wrapped her mouth around my wrist and acted like she was mauling me.
"Your crazy, go get stupid and loose all your brain cells!" Jada rolled her eyes and grabbed Billy's hand he had offered for her and drug her down the hall.
"Come on Sawyer we ain't waiting all night." Billy called back.
"Go ahead I am sitting this one out." Sawyer said and Billy choked on his drink.
"I am writing this down in the books.  This is the first time I ever saw Sawyer turn down a drug." he said in disbelief as he shut the door behind him

We were the only two people left in the front of the trailer.  The living room was adjoined to the kitchen which made it one big room.  He walked over to me never taking his eyes off mine, we were connected I know our hearts were racing each other and beating the same rhythm.  It felt like he was trying to read my innermost secrets.  Figure out my thoughts like a psychic to see if he were part of them.

"It hurts to breathe your so beautiful." He said in a whisper. "What's your name?" Before I could answer he asked where my boyfriend was.

"Mikayla is my name and I sort of have a boyfriend."
"Well Mikayla where is he?  If you were my girl I wouldn't be anywhere but right by your side."
"Well hopefully he took my advice and jumped off a cliff like I asked him to do."
"Good.  I do to.  I thought I would surly have to make you single.  Girl you make my heart hurt and I don't even know you."

I smiled shyly.  I had only had two boyfriends in my young life.  The first was my first puppy love and he cheated on me and got her pregnant their parents made them get married.  The second was just to waste time.  Sawyers straight forwardness was nothing I had ever experienced and I liked it.  I just didn't know how to be straight forward back.  Don't get me wrong.  I was no virgin.  In my generation of young people having sex it's ok to try anything and everything explore and experiment.  The freakier the better, but you could never tell just by looking at me.  Sawyer and I sat there talking.  He told me he was a construction worker and how mesmerizing I was over and over.  He asked how I ended up at a party like this and I told him how my mom kicked me out of her house and Jada was my roommate and dating his friend. Jada and Billy came out of the back of the trailer.  Billy got a big grin on his face

"Man you are way out of your league and she is jail bate dude.  You are too old for her.  I thought you didn't want to go back to the pen?"  Billy said cautiously but bluntly.
"Mind your business.  That's between me and Mikayla have some respect in front of the lady's." Sawyer snapped back at him.
"Ha you sound funny even saying the word respect let alone acting like you want to give it.  What's up with you?  She is practically a little girl.  Your acting weird too.  By now this late into the party you would have beat half the men here.  I ain't never seen you like this before, and turning down pot?"
"You need to shut the hell up before I make your ass the first one I kick tonight."

The argument got interrupted when another man stuck his head in the door asking Sawyer if he was ready for another run.  He told him he would be right there and give him a minute.

"Please don't leave.  Give me 30 minutes, I will be right back.  Billy make the lady's and your self another drink and I will be right back don't leave Mikayala tell me you won't leave."
"OK I won't leave."
"Great.  If I ain't back in 30 minutes I give you permission to leave because then I would have lied to you."

He grabbed his smokes and ran out the door sideways.  As soon as he was out the door Billy started shaking his head at me.

"Look Mikayla I'm drunk I know this.  You've had quite a few drinks too but hear this.  Sawyer is bad news hun, I mean bad news.  I can't tell you what to do, but you don't need to get mixed up with him.  Your young, your beautiful, you have your whole life in front of you don't let him fuck it up."
"Billy we are talking,  Just talking."
"Ha you don't know Sawyer.  He's doing more than talking to you.  Plus he's the meanest mother fucker in the surrounding 3 counties."
Ok Billy, it's ok like I said we are just talking."
"Well the only other thing I am gonna say is I warned you."

I wasn't sure what Billy was getting at, or what he was talking about.  Sawyer was nice, kind, caring, and so damn handsome. What was so bad about him?  Billy was drunk by the whiskey and I was smitten by Sawyer.  He kept true to his word.  He was back in 30 minutes.  He came in and sat down beside me on the couch he took my hand and kissed the top of it and just as he did Kim stumbled back in the trailer too.  She started doing a striptease for all four of us on the couch.  I turned my head and Sawyer laughed.  Two men came and sandwiched her in which she thought was great.  She told them to look at Ken and Barbie sitting on the couch like two dolls.  Sawyer suggested we take the party somewhere else and I suggested my house.  He had engulfed me with his charm there was no turning back.           
I just wish I would have listened to Billy.  He was more than right.  Sawyer was to be the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life and this night was to start my five years of hell.

« Last Edit: June 18, 2008, 11:59:08 PM by Yvonne »
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Offline Alex44k

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Re: Untitled Romance (curse words) 1200 + words
« Reply #1 on: June 17, 2008, 07:30:12 AM »
A good setup to the story.  I enjoyed the read and the writing.  I really want to know more about Sawyer.  However, you might want to change his name - I kept picturing one of the main characters on the TV show "Lost" and also Huck Finn.  Interesting combination there.  Strange comments, I know, but the images are there - all from a name!

Aside from that I am intrigued by the story and I liked the MC.  Well done. 

Offline Yvonne

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Re: Untitled Romance (curse words) 1200 + words
« Reply #2 on: June 18, 2008, 12:54:27 AM »
Thank you Alex44k for your reply.  I am glad you enjoyed it.  I wasn't in love with the name Sawyer either and that makes since what you said about "Lost" now he is in my head.  I will defiantly change his name. By the way, I loved your fight scene too.  Very exciting!  I just have no idea how to critique.  I am going to find more of the story when time allows for me to.
I want to be a successful author.
Don't give up.  Keep thinking.  Keep asking questions, most of all keep writing, but don't give up.

Offline bonnie_clide

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Re: Untitled Romance (curse words) 1200 + words
« Reply #3 on: June 18, 2008, 10:29:56 AM »
It was well written with a few gramical errors, and made me realize how distrubing my generation is when it comes to sex. You don't have to be with anyone to get some. Its like a bunch of animals. I'm so glade I'm not like the rest of them.
My soul mate died in infancy.