Author Topic: The Wishing Well (Part Three)  (Read 2466 times)

Offline davidleejones13

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The Wishing Well (Part Three)
« on: June 08, 2008, 02:53:42 AM »
The dark night wind blew untrimmed tree branches up against the old farm house windows. In my young adolescent mind the scraping sounds mutated into the scratching of evil deformed claws. The sounds were grating at the ends of my already shredded nerves when I heard the unrythmic clunking sound that was the unmistakable voice of my Uncle Ralph's old rusted Ford.

My soul lifted and found a melody in its oil burning mechanical music for it signaled the end of my lonely vigil. The car sputtered to a stop and I heard the creaky car door open and slam angrily shut.  I burst out onto the porch and my heart immediately sank at the site before me.

My Uncle stood stolidly in front of his car quietly staring out into the yard towards the cow pasture where his car head lights feably shone. He turned his head to look over his shoulder at me and the look in his eyes struck down my revelry in a single hefty blow. Within their gaze I saw a glimpse of the fire my Uncle's soul possessed when he was a younger man.

I stopped so suddenly I almost left my shoes in the dusty old driveway behind me.

"I told you kids not to go out there!" he spat distastefully, "do you realize how long it took me to get that damn thing that far away from my house!?!?" As he spoke he stepped aside and waved his hand towards the crumbling well sitting under the old oak tree that separated the side yard from the cow pasture.

My jaw dropped as my eyes moved over the old stonework taking in every detail. A tight circle of dead grass surrounded its base and I noticed that within its perimeter bark had flaked off the old oak to reveal rotting maggot infested wood underneath. Cobwebs on the underside of the structure atop the well were lit from underneath in a dull greenish glow. The webs moved in and out as a breeze emanated from the shaft in beats of whispering ghostly breathing. Instantly I felt as if the well was not a structure at all, but a living entity.

My Uncle turned and crossed the void between us in three huge gating steps. Leaning over and looking deep into my eyes with fire in his, I felt my soul bared to their unshifting gaze. Strong rough hands grasped my upper arms with surprising strength, igniting a burning painful pulsing within all of my extremities. I braced for the inevitable pounding I was about to receive. I defyingly hardened my stare against the angry boiling rage within his.

I was shocked when his anger softened and I saw within my Uncle an unfamiliar nurturing look of caring concern take over his features. To my relief his vice like grip eased and he stood up straight rubbing his chin.

"I--I-- I am s--sorry Uncle," I stammered, "I h--had no i--idea."

He held up a hand to silence me.

"Inside boy," he said in quick staccato syllables, "IT can hear you."

As we stepped through the door the old man turned and locked the dead bolt putting his ear to the inside of the door carefully listening for sounds on the other side.

"Uncle--"

"SHHHH!" he demanded urgently holding up his hand without turning around.

I stood there trying not to move a muscle as my heart raced with a fear I had never experienced. This fright was brought on by being swept up into circumstances one could not fathom an explanation grounded in this physical reality. This was a glimpse at the unexplained and unseen powers that tied us to the inner workings of the universe that our race could never hope to wrap our collective feeble minds around.

When my Uncle turned around I was struck by how young he suddenly looked. It was as if twenty years had melted from his face in an instant. A youthful enthusiasm had assumed control of his personality and a confident purposeless took over his manner. This was not the same man who had left the farm house earlier.

"Son," he said in measured tones placing a warm hand upon my shoulder, "do not be too hard on yourself boy. It is not your fault. This was inevitable so maybe it is best it has happened now."

I felt something within snap as I lost my composure. This was a lot for a thriteen year old boy to deal with. My body heaved as I broke down crying.

"Now stop that!" Uncle Ralph demanded grabbing my upper arms tightly. "Look at me! Do not give it anymore than you already have."

He loosened his grip reaching into his inside jacket pocket and handed me a handkerchief.

"Now get yourself together and get some sleep." He turned me towards the stairs, "do not worry, you will be safe tonight. This old farm house, she is strong. And I do not intend on letting my guard down for a mere instant."

I obediently climbed the steps toward my room. As I reached the top steps I snuck a peak behind me as my Uncle pulled a toy cap gun out of the kitchen drawer along with two boxes of rolled cap "ammunition."

I checked on my siblings finding them resting peacefully within the room they shared across from mine. As I opened the door to my room I fearfully scanned every inch  from the lighted hallway. I was half expecting to find red glaring eyes staring at me from underneath the bed or from the dark confines within the closet.

I climbed under my blanket and reached up and turned on the bedside light in an effort to hold at bay the dark shadowy apparitions playing upon my mind.  Underneath the lamp upon the night stand I was surprised to see a beat up leather bound bible that was not there before. On the cover, barely legible, Aunt Gertrude's name was stamped into the leather in flaking gold ink.

Then, a dark pall enveloped the room and the lamps lightbulb dimmed. A brooding angry feeling touched my soul as a chill ran down the length of my body.  I knew instantly I was feeling the same presence I had felt looking upon the well outside. 

Suddenly, the bible on the bed stand opened and several pages fluttered past until a page from the book of Revelation was displayed before my eyes. With Aunt Gertrude's pink pen the passage "and the dead shall rise from the ground,"  was highlighted and then underlined in red ink. The words seemed to take on a silvery glow until the popping sound of a cap gun could be faintly heard from down stairs. The entity was gone and, as if I had just taken a sleeping pill,  I collapsed into a very fitful dream laden sleep.
« Last Edit: June 08, 2008, 03:27:03 PM by davidleejones13 »

Offline Andrewf

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Re: The Wishing Well (Part Three)
« Reply #1 on: June 08, 2008, 11:17:04 AM »
Not gonna comment on what Big T has highlighted.  :D

This story is getting seriously spooky...  Thought you said you were going to depart from your normal work??  ;D
"If it can't be expressed in figures, it is not science; it is opinion." - L. Long.

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Offline davidleejones13

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Re: The Wishing Well (Part Three)
« Reply #2 on: June 08, 2008, 02:53:12 PM »
Big T,
Thanks for taking the time out to disect this part. I really have my homework cut out for me ;D
Do not take this in a sarcastic tone because it is not meant to be that way. I will look over your suggestion a soon as possible, (prob tomorrow night) and I will tighten her up.
I really do appreciate the edit suggestions  ;)!!!

Andrew,
First of all, thank you for reading. The departure will be evident in character developement and interaction. My work tends to be a bit weak in those areas, so I am going to work on those element. I shall never depart or come over from the dark side! ;)

I have great expectations for this new series. I thank you guys for being interested enough and checking it out.

Lee

Offline davidleejones13

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Re: The Wishing Well (Part Three)
« Reply #3 on: June 08, 2008, 03:28:49 PM »
Big T,
I went ahead and quickly made those changes. Look it over and let me know if that reads better.
Thanks again for taking the time out to make those suggestions! ;)

Lee

Offline Andrewf

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Re: The Wishing Well (Part Three)
« Reply #4 on: June 08, 2008, 04:21:00 PM »
Andrew,
First of all, thank you for reading. The departure will be evident in character developement and interaction. My work tends to be a bit weak in those areas, so I am going to work on those element. I shall never depart or come over from the dark side! ;)

I have great expectations for this new series. I thank you guys for being interested enough and checking it out.

Lee

LOL :D

I should have known better than to think you would abandon the spooky stuff you do so well ;D
"If it can't be expressed in figures, it is not science; it is opinion." - L. Long.

Tales from the Circle - A charitable read. http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?contributorId=1146002
Ask about eBook versions if required.

Offline davidleejones13

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Re: The Wishing Well (Part Three)
« Reply #5 on: June 08, 2008, 06:33:53 PM »
Andrew,
You did not know my middle name LEE means spooky in some foreign language?
Well, not really, but it should! SPOOKY works for me. I like trying to scare people with my stories.
What is ironic, growing up I hated horror movies and stories.
I did not know I liked it so much until I met TOOTHIE and he set me straight!  ::)

Thank you Andrew.
Lee

Offline Big T

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Re: The Wishing Well (Part Three)
« Reply #6 on: June 08, 2008, 09:23:15 PM »
Big T,
I went ahead and quickly made those changes. Look it over and let me know if that reads better.
Thanks again for taking the time out to make those suggestions! ;)

Lee

Hi Lee, your editing has improved the piece, much easier to read and less ambiguity. Nice one.
I had a semi restless night last night ... not because you spooked me  ;D ... but I remembered that the Gallery was intended to be a board for people to display their work ... not have it criticised. Seems like it's time to say 'sorry' ... I honestly wasn't thinking. I'm going to remove my comments now.
Once again well done .... have you got more planned?

Last comment ... 2nd para ... sight ... not site!  ;)
« Last Edit: June 08, 2008, 09:27:01 PM by Big T »
Big T  :o

Offline davidleejones13

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Re: The Wishing Well (Part Three)
« Reply #7 on: June 09, 2008, 03:33:30 AM »
Big T,
Please, no restless nights due to me. I appreciate what you have done. You were just helping me tighten everything up. AND, you did an awesome job. I wrote the thing off the cuff at 3:30 in the morning for gods sakes. There were bound to be some typos and runon sentences.
BIG T,
You only help me to make it better...no worries!
Much more to come on this one. I have enough for atleast three more parts...

 ;D ;D ;D ;D
Lee...

Offline davidleejones13

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Re: The Wishing Well (Part Three)
« Reply #8 on: June 09, 2008, 03:38:38 AM »
BIG T!
Please, do not ever REMOVE one of your comments...You were only helping.
I treasure a helpful critique with editing suggestions much more than a
"good job, can't wait for more"

That just shows you read it with more passion and that you actually got into the piece.
Do not EVER REMOVE a comment. I assure you that I am not offended, but flattered.
I welcome them. I want my work to be made better. You were just polishing a shine on this one.
A YELLOW shine.
And I love a yellow shine...it makes my work look like gold!

Offline Big T

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Re: The Wishing Well (Part Three)
« Reply #9 on: June 09, 2008, 03:56:26 AM »
Maybe ... just maybe ... your works will give you all the gold you desire  :D
I'll stick with cheap yellow T-shirts!  ::)
Big T  :o

Offline davidleejones13

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Re: The Wishing Well (Part Three)
« Reply #10 on: June 09, 2008, 04:14:37 AM »
Big T,
Your comments are gold to me...
keep em coming and do not ever hold back.
Please, always be honest. That is what will keep my work honest.
I am honored you have taken an interest...

Thanks
Lee