Which do I use??

[Smiley]

Hi Guys,

If something is happening continuously does it sound better to say unrelentlessly or unrelentingly? The sentence I'm writing is:

"Ice-cold rain spat spitefully in her face like hundreds of tiny needles unrelentlessly prickling her sallow skin."

any advice appreciated,thanks


Smiley

[Nick]

You could either say unrelentingly or relentlessly. Not unrelentlessly though - that's the opposite to what you mean!

Nick 

[Smiley]

Thank you nick 

Smiley

[akpolarmom]

Now I have a petpeeve that needs attention...lol The over use of adverbs. You can rewrite this sentence, make is more active and loose both adverbs; maybe something like this:

"Unrelenting, the ice-cold spitefull rain spat in her face like hundreds of tiny needles prickling her sallow skin."

You also puts emphasis on unrelenting by placing it before the description / simili. It makes the continous nature of the rain even stronger, like there is no escaping.

Akpolarmom

[urban scribe]

in my opinion, this sentence, without reading the surrounding prose, is overly descriptive.

what is it about the rain that makes it "spiteful"? has the rain fallen victim to the pathetic fallacy: assigning human emotions to inanimate objects.

for what it's worth, my version of your sentence would read:

The unrelenting icy rain assaulted her face like hundreds of tiny needles prickling her sallow skin.

~us

[Smiley]

Thanks guys for taking the time to comment,

akpolarmom - I've taken your advice and placed "unrelenting" at the start of the sentence to make the continuous nature of the rain stronger - thanks

US -if you're interested, the surrounding prose is in "review my work" well, two paragraphs are anyway.

There have been other comments on the personification or "pathetic fallacy"  so, anyway I have changed the sentence and it now reads: "Unrelenting, ice-cold rain spat in her face like hundreds of tiny needles prickling her sallow skin"  this is still work in progress so it may change again yet

Thanks again, appreciate your help

Smiley

[Telcontar]

Hi Smiley,

"Unrelenting, ice-cold rain spat in her face like hundreds of tiny needles prickling her sallow skin"

I think I've got this right. How about putting the verb (prickling) first, to make the action stronger:

"Unrelenting ice-cold rain spat in her face, prickling her sallow skin like hundreds of tiny needles "

Dave.

[Smiley]

See!, I said it may change again.

Thanks for that Dave, yes I agree- thats definately better.

What would I do without you all???

Smiley