Author Topic: poem - what do you think ?  (Read 1203 times)

Offline takeovertarget

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poem - what do you think ?
« on: March 30, 2006, 07:52:31 AM »
I thought of beginning the autobiography (my beautiful life) with this poem.  Do you understand it?  What changes do you suggest?  All tips welcome. :)


                       Chameleon
                 
            A mutant seed on untilled soil
            sprung in wilderness unprepared,
            a weed among thistles and thorns
            striving in growth to be like them
            yet in essence, by means of birth and
            heredity, different, abstract,
            a ridicule of its kind
            belonging to neither past nor present.

            Like a Chameleon, adapting to shades around
            until through fire its sheath is stripped
            baring tender vine within
            that only now, when all is lost,
            is ready to begin.


"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"  Lao-tse

sjreed56

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Re: poem - what do you think ?
« Reply #1 on: March 30, 2006, 08:44:17 AM »
Interesting challenge. I am Caucasian with bi-racial adopted children so without knowing anything about you I will make assumptions others may not.  I could read that you too are adopted “A mutant seed” and bi-racial “adapting to shades around.” “…means of birth and heredity, different, abstract, a ridicule of its kind belonging to neither…” might also imply you were raised in an different culture, or adopted from another country. “…neither past nor present.”  might imply that you believe you were born in the wrong era? You might be of pre-mature birth, “on untilled soil”   “…until through fire its sheath is stripped baring tender vine within,” sounds like trials in your life have refined your character and revealed a positive inner self. Perhaps those trials pointed you to a new commission in life, “when all is lost, is ready to begin.”

In reality, this could be read by about anyone and come out with an application special to them. I think that’s why I like it.

 I will leave the technical critique to some more qualified but I liked the poem. ~ Sherry
« Last Edit: March 31, 2006, 12:08:07 AM by sjreed56 »

Offline takeovertarget

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Re: poem - what do you think ?
« Reply #2 on: March 30, 2006, 09:26:53 AM »
Sherry,

That is brilliant!  You understood the poem perfectly.  I am so glad .  It is  difficult to judge your own work;  I knew what I meant but didn't know if anyone else would.  So that's great. Thanks again;



"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"  Lao-tse

Lin

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Re: poem - what do you think ?
« Reply #3 on: March 30, 2006, 09:59:16 AM »
A lovely poem you understand the essence of poety.   Well done

Lin

Offline takeovertarget

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Re: poem - what do you think ?
« Reply #4 on: March 30, 2006, 11:28:21 AM »
Hey Lin,  Glad you liked it.  Thanks  :)
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"  Lao-tse