Author Topic: Anger management guy has bad day (funny) Rated pg-13 for strong language  (Read 3111 times)

Offline Qbstretch

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int. Dr.Johnson's room - Morning

GABRIEL lays down on a couch twirling his fingers with an impatient look on his face. He looks at a frame on the wall and reads it.

INSERT - FRAMED DIPLOMA, which reads:

Dr. Edward Drew Johnson's Degree in psychology.

voice (o.s)

Hello Gabriel.

DR. JOHNSON steps inside and close the door behind him.

Gabriel

(chewing gum annoying hard)

How you doing doc?

Dr. J >:(ohnson

(as he pulls up a chair)

The question is how are you doing?

GABRIEL

I'm fine but no one around seems to think so.

DR. JOHNSON

How have you been dealing with your temper since our last visit.

GABRIEL

The same I guess I mean talking about it doesn't do anything for me. The chewing gum helps a little.

Dr. Johnson writes on a pad of paper.

GABRIEL

Doc you need to prescribe some medication because it's getting out of control. I've been throwing tantrums in public an --

DR. JOHNSON

Whoa slow down there it's only your second visit.

GABRIEL

So how do I control this then.

DR. JOHNSON

Here.

Dr. Johnson hands him a sheet of paper.

DR. JOHNSON

Thats a list of exercises you should try when you feel to angry.

Gabriel begins to read it.

INSERT - THE LIST, which reads:

1. Scream into a pillow

2. Deeply inhale and exhale.

3.Hit a punching bag

Karalynn (v.o)

GAAAAAAABE! I'm bored!

match cut:

int. living room - Afternoon

4. Break glass bottles.

Gabriel pulls his eyes off the paper.

GABRIEL

(chewing his gum)

Then go home I didn't ask you to come over anyway!

Karalynn storms into the room. She beings to babel on as she quickly gathers here things.

KARALYNN

You never want to spend with me, and when was the last time we were intimate huh?

Gabriel blows a bubble with his chewing gum.

GABRIEL

What happened to that vibrator I bought you?

Karalynn angrily stares at Gabriel for a moment.

KARALYNN

You know what?... The vibrator does a better job anyway!

Karalynn rushes out of the front door and slams it.

Gabriel places the paper on a round glass table in the kitchen and walks to his bedroom.

int. bedroom - morning

An alarm clock goes off. Gabriel wakes up, he yawns and as he covers his mouth feels dry gum all over his face.

GABRIEL

Damn it!

The house phone begins to ring. He turn to the left and bumps his head on the wall.

GABRIEL

AHH!

He rubs his forehead. He rolls over to the other side and grabs the alarm clock and throws it at the phone.

cut to:

int. shower - morning

As the water runs Gabriel squirts some shampoo into his hands. He closes his eyes and begins to massage it into his hair.

GABRIEL

I hope this gets the gum out.

Completely unaware a shadow figure on the other side of the shower curtains slowly creeps into the bath room.

Gabriel continues to wash his hair. The toilet flushes and the water suddenly becomes steamingly hot.

GABRIEL

AHHHHH!

Gabriel's eyes open as wide as possible. He grabs the curtain and slides it over.

Karalynn sits on the toilet reading a newspaper.

GABRIEL

What the hell is wrong with you!

KARALYNN

Why are you yelling at me? And why is there gum in your hair?

GABRIEL

Why would you flush the toilet while I'm in the shower! Why would you take a shit while I'm in the shower! Thats disgusting. And didn't you tell me you was coming over?

KARALYNN

Well I called but... you didn't... (something slashes in the toilet).. answer.

With a disgusted face Gabriel close the shower curtain. A drip a of shampoo begins to run down his face and makes its way to his eye.

GABRIEL

AHHHH!!!

Karalynn flinches.

KARALYNN

AHHHH!!!

cut to:

montage - Gabriel does anger management exercises

-- Gabriel screams into a pillow.

-- Gabriel begins to breath in and out as hard and as quick possible.

-- Gabriel throws a few punches at a punching bag.

cut to:

ext. porch - afternoon

Gabriel begins to tie his shoes.

KARALYNN

Which one are you going to do next.

GABRIEL

Step on glass bottles and light bulbs.

KARALYNN

Not with those brand new shoes I bought you.

Karalynn grabs a old pair of dirty shoes next to a lawn mower and tosses them to Gabriel.

Gabriel puts takes off the new shoes and puts the old ones on.


He puts an empty beer bottle on the floor.

GABRIEL

I feel like this one's going to work.

KARALYNN

I hope so, have fun I'm going to wash the dishes.

SLOW MOTION :

Gabriel lifts his foot in the air over the bottle. His big toe sticks out of a hole on the bottom of the shoe.

He slams his foot over the bottle and it shatters.

GABRIEL

Ahhhh!

cut to:

INT. kitchen - afternoon

Karalynn flinches and drops a dish as she hears Gabriel scream.

KARALYNN

Ahhhh!

cut back to:

EXT. PORCH - AFTERNOON

Gabriel limps into the kitchen crunching left over pieces from the bottle.

KARALYNN

What happened?

She looks at the floor and see's pieces of glass and single big toe blood prints.

GABRIEL

I'm going back to Dr. Johnson's!
« Last Edit: February 03, 2008, 07:27:41 PM by Qbstretch »

Offline Dragons Quill

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Good Job. 

My first suggestion is to check all your' spelling and grammatical errors, they are really distracting from your' story.  Otherwise, it's good stuff.

Keep Writing!!!


Offline meshmesh11

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I agree with Dragons Quill, some of the mistakes are distracting. But don't worry I am the same way so I recommend that after a couple of days or at least a week, like Nick says, you should re-read your script and work on those mistakes.
Another thing is some times in the script i feel like the scene was rushed. Like when they were in the bathroom, why did she scream after she flinched, or when suddenly we realize that the gum is in his hair not his face, sometimes you need to show minor details in order for the reader ,or the Watcher in that case, doesn't get confused. Not too many details though so it doesn't get boring, just practice it and you will perfect it in no time.
I hope i didn't seem harsh or too critical, it is just that this is the type of criticism I am looking for when I will ask for reviews.
Over all i loved it, especially the last scene when he injured his toe. He needs to get rid of KARALYNN, I bit she is the reason of his anger problems. Lol.
Take care.
« Last Edit: February 25, 2008, 07:44:10 PM by meshmesh11 »