Author Topic: The Wizard War (Chapters One to Eight)  (Read 16550 times)

davidleejones13

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The Wizard War (Chapters One to Eight)
« on: January 27, 2008, 04:56:46 PM »
This was actually inspired by FunWriter. He had come up with an opening scene and this story is spun off from it.
Thank you FunWriter...


As Devon sat at his table in the dark corner of the Dragon Inn Pub waiting for his opportunity he thought back to the old days. When the world was young and not so populated. Then the wizards of old had plenty of magic at their disposal.

These legendary wizards became extremely powerful. He longed to have lived then and to be one of these. In this day and time the world was overpopulated and the magic was called on too often and by so many. Here magic had become scarce.

He eyed the barkeep moving amongst the tables and knew the man was part of a secret society within the village aligned against the wizards.

He also knew how important the package that was just delivered to the barkeep moments ago was to the cause. It contained an ancient artifact containing so much magic, it could turn the tide of the war. He shivered at the thought of the item falling into the wrong hands. The unspeakable evils that would be empowered to the enemy, or even worse, to their own Regent.

He knew he had to obtain the package and deliver it to his master at the guild for there to be any lasting peace. He was confident the only party that would use the artifact for good would be the wizards.

His attention was diverted from his thoughts, and the bartender, when a commotion broke out on the other side of the crowded room. A brawl had broken out between two patrons and began spreading across the room like the plague. He focused back on the bartender for he knew his chance was soon to come.

The bartender grappled with one of the rioting patrons wearing a brown cloak. As the hood fell away he saw that this customer was Jarrod, one of the Regent's Lackeys. He realized this must be a ruse to obtain the package and he must move quickly, or the package would slip through his fingers.

The cloaked man sunk a small dagger into the bartenders back and with a quick spin move Jarrod freed himself from the bartenders grasp. He reached into his belt and grabbed a small vial of liquid and with he smile he threw it to the floor. There was a shatter of glass and a cloud of thick smoke rose from the floor causing stinging eyes and choking sickness.

The smoke hung heavy in the air but Devon could easily see through it with his spellsight. He began making his way towards the stunned barkeep  as the chaotic din of the awestruck crowd raged around him.

The acrid smell of the smoke filled his nostrils and a burly drunkard bumped into him but he did not let this destract him from keeping his gaze on the bartender.

The bartender's wife came from behind the bar where she had been cutting meat and knelt at her husbands side. She grabbed the hilt of the knife embedded in her husbands back and wrenced it free with a grunt.

"Get that bastard!" He responded in a gasp of painwracked breath.

"Yes my love," She answered with a wicked half grin grasping her meat cleaver and bolting for the door.

"Atlast," Devon mummered, the moment had arrived.

He made his way over to the bartender who wrythed in pain on the inn floor blood pooling beneath him.

He knelt down beside the squirming man knowing he had to move quick. He knew there would be other Regent agents undoubtedly awaiting this same moment.

"Lunarium," he whispered the spell into the man's ear.
The bartenders sleepy head hit the floor with a soft thud.
Devon deftly reached inside the mans jacket and extracted the brown paper package.

The wizard then headed out through the kitchen with nary a notice as chaos still reigned through out the room. As he exited through the back door he reveled in the feel of the brown paper package between his fingers still warm from being within the inner pocket of the bartender's jacket.

His revelry was cut short as an something heavy and hard struck him in the back of the head. As unconsciousness drew its veil over his eyes he watched as Jarrod plucked the package from his fingers.

"How could I have been so foolish," was his last thought as he passed out on the cold cobbled back alleyway of the inn.
« Last Edit: February 08, 2008, 08:52:58 AM by PaulW »

memnoch

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Re: The Wizard War (Chapter One)
« Reply #1 on: January 27, 2008, 06:07:16 PM »
I do like the story but i feel that this is a little stunted. The story and characters are good but i would like to see this fleshed out with more description and greater use of language. very interesting though!

Offline Christopher Silva

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Re: The Wizard War (Chapter One)
« Reply #2 on: January 27, 2008, 06:59:38 PM »
Lee, I remember this one so well. Great story really and I wouldn't mind you using my bits and pieces.  If I remember correctly, I wrote an opening that you honorably removed for this post. No worries though, if you would like to use it, you may. I could post my other bits in this thread if you like?

Good to see this story surfacing in a fresh new way.

Chris



 
« Last Edit: January 28, 2008, 08:17:30 AM by Funwriter »

davidleejones13

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Re: The Wizard War (Chapter One)
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2008, 05:26:03 AM »
Chris,
You could only enhance an already great story, I just did not want to dishonor any of the other writers over on the other site so I only included the part of the story I came up with . I would love to include your threads also, it could only improve upon this story.

This story inspired me, so I had to include it here.

Thanks for taking me on this adventure...

Your friend,
Lee

davidleejones13

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Re: The Wizard War (Chapter One)
« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2008, 05:30:43 AM »
Chris,
BTW, Egypt is awesome. It is coming along splendidly, and I love your take on the whole T@#%^&* series. I am excited to see where you are going to take things...
There are only one or two stories left in my take on the series.
After that I pass the batone to you my friend. I am sure your talents will take it to new and more terrifying heights!

thanks again,
Lee

Offline Christopher Silva

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Re: The Wizard War (Chapter One)
« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2008, 08:49:40 AM »
Memnoch,  the springboard for the senario went something like this:

The rain was pelting his dark oilskin hood as he hurriedly walked towards the inn nervously avoiding shadows. The water was seeping through his leather soled boots and running in little streams down the cobble stoned street. He had taken time to impregnate his deerskin boots with expensive beaver oil before the rain season. Sadly, his feet were now soaked and hurting from his travels.

The news and package he carried from the front had to be relayed at all costs, or all would be lost.

The heavy oaken door to the inn was unlocked, he pulled hard opening it with a loud creak. Inside, it was dark with smoke and the smell of cooking permeated the air. The main room went quiet when he entered, with many of its residents eyeing him curiously from dark corner tables lit only with small waxen wick. He moved quickly to the bar ignoring the stares and began to discuss something in fast whispers with the barkeep.

*

Jarrod was sitting at a small table in a shadowed corner enjoying warm ale when the door opened loudly. He leaned back a bit to ensure he was in shadow and had a look at the newcomer. The man was drenched from head to booted feet. He was small and covered in a dark oilskin cape. The man looked nervous and this made Jarrod relax and sigh, happy that the visitor was not one of the men many looking for him.

The wet little man moved quickly to the bar and handed over a small indiscreet package. This peeked Jarrod's interest and he made a mental note to buy the Barkeep a drink and try and find out what was in the package.

Jarrod lifted his ale and scanned the room. The huge hearth had a raging fire keeping the main room and its guests warm and dry. A ruckus caught his attention. Instantly; a couple of tables away a large man with wide shoulders and a long rangy body moved with frightening speed. He pushed a buxom hall girl off his lap and stood hand moving towards his sword. The fat merchant across from him squawked and covered his face with his arms in fear.

The giant wore his sword low like he knew how to use it. There was argument over a game of planks and it looked as though the merchant was cheating.

*

No one noticed Amanda as she moved rapidly around the kitchen monitoring the ovens and pots of stew. She prepared dinner for the guests every night, and in these times of war, certain things were scarce. Her husband was working the bar upfront when she heard the cilp clop of horses and the sound of hard leather and armor.

A large stranger passed her quickly and went out the back door. He had a big rucksack heaved over one shoulder and went by so fast she didn't even see his face.

Amanda turned and quickly walked to the cellar door, she lit down the stairs, her dress fluttering behind her. She hit the cellar floor at a pace that almost put out the candle she carried with her. She set the candle down on the old worn butchers block. Amanda bent down and began putting something into a large old potato sack. With a heave she picked up the sack and carried it a few meters and set it down on the earthen floor with a thump.

feeling around, she found the hook and lifted the trap door. With surprising strength she tugged the sack down three stairs and into the darkness.

Coming back up, Amanda hurriedly closed the trap door and used her hands to even out the dirt ensuring the secret entrance would again be hidden from sight. Just about done, she felt something wet and soft, she picked it up and mumbled, "damn."

Pulling again on the hook, she tossed the human finger down into the darkness, letting the trap door down softly, she again started to even out the dirt over the trapdoor.



_


Chris

Offline ma100

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Re: The Wizard War (Chapter One)
« Reply #6 on: January 28, 2008, 12:16:05 PM »
Ermh. You pair of devils what evil is afoot haha. I enjoyed the read very much Lee and Chris. I am now of the opinion its you two causing my lack of sleep hehe. This venture will definitely have me coming back for more.
Take care
Mairi

davidleejones13

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The Wizard War (Chapter Two)
« Reply #7 on: January 28, 2008, 12:42:06 PM »
As Devon came to the sun's light was just painting the tops of the trees red. The morning light created a red haze as it shined through wispy fog that hung close to the rain drenched ground.

He sat up and his head exploded in pain causing his eyesight to dim momentarily.

At first he forgot where he was. He felt his clothings dampness clinging to his body and looked around the rain soaked alleyway. The night before immediatly rushed back into his mind.

"Cripes!" He cursed. He had lost the package.
Now the war was going to really turn nasty.

Because of the weak supply of magic his protection spell failed last night as he exited the inn.

Now he had lost the package, the content of which was going to make the magic situation much worse.
Once the artifact was utilized and it drew from the existing magic, all wizards on our side will become pretty much powerless.

"There you are," Jerik's voice bounced off the wet walls of the dank alley, "I have been looking all over for you."
Jerik walked over and extended a hand and helped Devon to his feet.

"Thanks for the distraction." Devon said.

"Tell me you got the package." Jerik said a pleading look on his face.

Devon responded by looking down at his feet without a word the blood rushing to his face.

"Damn the gods!" Jerik cursed.

"Twas Jarrod that got me." He answered defensively, "I thought you were watchin him for me."

"I was," Jerik responded rubbing his bruised chin with a wry smile, "who do you think kept that weasel from nixing the package before you got it? Then the little bugger got away from me."

"Well," Devon stated, "If Jarrod's still got the package he will be headed to the Heron's inn to collect from the Captain. I suggest we get there before the little weasel does."

"Let us not tary then," Jerik answered, "besides, we are being followed."

Devon looked into his face and Jerik winked.
"Our little red headed friend?" He asked with a smile.

"Yep."

Devon and Jerik made their way hastily up wet village streets. They were met by wary stares from the village folk who had woke from wet slumber and were beginning a new dank day.

These went unnoticed as urgency fueled their breakneck pace. They knew that if Jarrod got to the captain before they could get to him all wizard and magic folk alike would have to bend to the will of the Regent.

Once the Regent had the object within the package he would disband the wizard orders and send them into exile, or even worse. The wizards would be rendered powerless.

Saybon, the Regent, was once a turtor in the Orders but failed the trials. He was expelled in disgrace. Devon and Jerik knew he harbored a great hatred for the Orders. They knew Saybon hated only two others more than the wizards as a whole. Devon, Jerik and Saybon all tutored together. They WERE all best of friends. Now they were aligned on opposite sides of the political fence and Devon and Jerik had become the object of the Regents ire.

They reached the top of the hill where the Heron Inn sat and rounded a corner and ran into Jarrod knocking him to the coblestone street.

Jarrod had been been admiring the package with gloved fingers as the collision occured sending the brown paper package skiding across wet stone and into a alley shrouded in early morning shadows.

The three men stared awestruck a brief moment at one another without a word. The uncomfortable silence was dispelled by a high pitched laughter.

A young woman with strawberry blond hair, and a sprinkle of ginger freckles across her nose immerged from the shadows with sword drawn and the package in her hands.

"Looks like you lose boys," She said backing down the street not daring to turn her back on the three men who stared dumbfounded in her direction. Then she immediatly discoverd the reason for their blank stares when she bumped into the impenetrable armor clad body of the Captain.

She turned to look up into the eyes of the towering soldier and smiled weakly at him.

"I will take that lass," he bellowed ripping the package from her grasp and shoving her to the ground.

Captain Moncrede studied the brown paper package in his hands. It had seen so much action these past weeks yet it looked as if it were just wrapped seconds ago.

"Magic," He muddered. He knew what was within the package. He knew how important it was to the cause of the war. It would mean victory.
Now he pondered to himself, for which side?

"Sir," the soldier asked for a second time, "the prisoners?"

"Huh?" He looked up at the young soldier.

"What are we to do with them?"

"Oh," his eyes fixed on the awkward collection of souls before him. He knew what was to become of the two cloaked ones, "send those two to the dungeon. The Regent has plans for them."

Devon and Jerik exchaged a worried look.

"As for the other two," he scratched his beard without taking his eye off the package, "execute them."

Devon was dragged away sputtering protests and curses. The strawberry red headed one did not make a sound as her captives grabbed her and marched her up the street.
« Last Edit: January 28, 2008, 12:44:43 PM by davidleejones13 »

Offline Christopher Silva

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Re: The Wizard War (Chapter One)
« Reply #8 on: January 28, 2008, 02:00:43 PM »
Mairi, from here Lee took the tale and ran with it for many pages of exciting, action packed adventure. Just thought it would be good to see the other side of darkness.

 ;)


Chris
« Last Edit: January 29, 2008, 08:25:56 AM by Funwriter »

memnoch

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Re: The Wizard War (Chapter One)
« Reply #9 on: January 28, 2008, 02:28:02 PM »
I see it makes a bit more sense now. You two make a great team!

memnoch

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Re: The Wizard War (Chapter Two)
« Reply #10 on: January 28, 2008, 03:16:07 PM »
Again I'm interested and like the way its going. I would however look at the dialogue, it seems contrived and unnatural i would also try and drop the medieval accent as it rarely works. Keep the dialogue modern and people will just glaze over the fact that people spoke differently. besides since its a fantasy world they can speak whatever and however you want!

I would also like a bit more description as it still feels a little stilted. However the bones and muscle of the piece is there, a little bit of work on the skin and it'd be sorted!

This is only my opinion though

Offline ma100

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Re: The Wizard War (Chapter Two)
« Reply #11 on: January 29, 2008, 08:35:14 AM »
hey lee
Folowing on well mate.Good story.
Take care.
mairi
 

Offline Christopher Silva

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Re: The Wizard War (Chapter One)
« Reply #12 on: January 29, 2008, 08:43:11 AM »
Memnoch, thanks. I am a moderator on another writer site frequented by Lee. He and I are friends and enjoy writing stuff together. The internet is so cool, people can be a world apart and enjoy a good friendship.


Chris

davidleejones13

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Re: The Wizard War (Chapter One)
« Reply #13 on: January 29, 2008, 08:58:49 AM »
Memnoch,
I am proud to be known as Chris' friend. He is an excellent author who has taught me so much in these past few months. He has helped me re discover a passion for writing I thought I had lost.

 I have written more in the past three months than I have had in the past three years and I have Chris to thank for helping me regain condfidence I had lost.
Some have seen that confidence as conceit, but Chris helped me through a rough patch that almost saw me give up writing again (which I had for about a year).

I have told Chris I do not care if I sound like I am President of his Admiration Society, if it were not for him I would not be on this site writing right now. He is a great author and a great friend, and to use an American phrase if I may, I do not care if I sound like a kiss ass when it comes to Chris Silva.

I am proud to be here amongst Chris and other really good authors on MWC...

DLJ13

davidleejones13

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Re: The Wizard War (Chapter Two)
« Reply #14 on: January 29, 2008, 09:00:46 AM »
Ma,
Thank you for always bringing a smile to my face.
I am so glad I have met you. You are always so kind with your comments.

Lee