Show versus Tell

[Maxine]

Watching the pancakes crispen and blacken on the hot stones, Michelle leapt up and grabbed the flatten stick in a vain attemp to rescue them.  "Oh no, King Alfred is going to kill me". He moaned to himself.

The African drums scared him.

[Spell Chick]

The rhythmic thumping pounded across the Serenghetti plain as he scanned the horizen through is binoculars. The worry lines were etched deeply across his brow.

Tell: The irritated driver honked the horn.

[Maxine]

Listening to the pounding of the drums Carl failed to hear the taxi driver blasting his horn. 
"Hey, you a tourist or an idiot?  Do you want to get to your hotel or do you want to stand there like a lemon all night?"

The room stank of damp and mould.

[Narnian Prince]

The used condoms on the mattress, the stale beer odour in the room, the decaying structure itself and suddenly Carl remembered why he hated the company checking him into cheap motels off the beaten track.  Now all he had to do was wake the harlot up and toss her out as her hour was up and her john long gone.  He needed rest.

Tell: The forest echoed of lost souls.

[Maxine]

An eerie moan accompanied by the sighing of dead things and the rattle of winter branches sent a shivver down his spine.  The forest, that was his grandmother's garden and his childhood playground, did not welcome visitors any longer.  Without his grandmother there it was a desolate place.

She squinted into the bright sunlight.

[Spell Chick]

The sun dazzled and as she peered westward, the crow's feet around her gray eyes deepened.

Tell: She was old.

[Maxine]

Celia felt every one of her eighty years today.  Her great grandson stood next to her smiling and greeting guests, being solicitous and agreeing with everyone that an eightieth birthday was indeed a good reason to celebrate.  Inside, in her most private of places Celia vehemently disagreed with him.  Eighty was a lonely place to be.

The dog ran wimpering from the noise of the fireworks.

[Narnian Prince]

As the explosive retorts continued with no sign of abatement, the puppy sought the nearest retreat from which to escape the noise.  His cries, from under the porch, went unheard due to the din.

Tell: The party got out of hand.

[Mark H]

The liberal Democrats eventually lost the plot and started attending PMQs dressed in nothing but lime green thongs.

Tell: Gordon's bum itched.

[Narnian Prince]

Having to hide quickly from his peers was not Gordon's forte, as such he failed to notice the rather large patch of poison ivy in which he was sitting sans clothing.     (I do know of a particularly amorous couple that this occurred to in real life in college.  They still get ribbed to this day of the 'accident'.  )

Tell: Harry was disgusted.

[Mark H]

"You must be fluckin jokin," said Harry, "he had eleven metric feet in the first line of his limerick. No way, just no way man!"

Tell: Sir Nigel fancied one of his servants (probably his footman).

[Narnian Prince]

Having no luck with the noviciates (?) at the nunnery nor the ladies at the MWC bar, Sir Nigel cast his eyes around the nervous lads in his company.  Reading his intent, they all quivered visibly and prayed inwardly to be spared the misfortune.  As luck would have it, his footman chose that moment to return from the showers clad only in a towel and whistling a show tune.

Tell: Citabria plotted revenge.

[Mark H]

Citabria sat on the sofa and drew a picture of YelnickMcMotherHubbard on his Etch-a-sketch. As he sketched he dictated, "  ... that's all Mr Hunt. This Etch-a-sketch will self destruct in 30 seconds."

Gyppo felt a bit sad.

[Narnian Prince]

In a rare moment of human feeling, Gyppo regarded what he had said and done in the MWC bar and regretted it all.  Then, cheering himself up, he chose to ignore the moment and continue on his current track. 

Tell: Cathy eyed Citabria suspiciously.

[Mark H]

Cathy took a step closer and tentatively reached for the item as it lay motionless on the table. She frowned and asked, "Is it real?"

TELL: Rolf hated is mother in law.