Show versus Tell

[thatollie]

Alternative to your show.
Ollie doubled over in laughter, accidentally knocking the mouse off the desk with his head.

Narnian Prince nodded, "wish I'd put that."

Tell: the clown didn't feel like a princess.

[Narnian Prince]

Despite his femine garb, the constant rehearsing for weeks before this show, and all the weight he had lost, Ollie still didn't feel confident of the royal presence he was to portray.

(I couldn't resist it, Oll!  )

Tell: The day grew dark.

[thatollie]

Narnian Prince stood on the hill, his shadow getting smaller and fainter with each passing hour.

Tell: the bakery had no more Danishes.


PS: I'm totally fine with it, my friend however was deeply offended.

[Narnian Prince]

Terror and tears filled Laura Bush's eyes as she realized with dread that she would be responsible for telling George the news the baker had given her.

Tell: it went over.


p.s.  Would that I had access to some smilies, I'd send your 'friend' a message. 

[thatollie]

The river broke the flood barrier with a crashing wave.

Tell: They went over to the corpse.

[WESTON]

 show: As the walls echoed with footsteps, shadows began to crawl over the young dead body.


 tell: He was mad but still ate his food.

[thatollie]

Stabbing his fork into the pork chop, he tore off a chunk and shoved it into his mouth.

Tell: Sean walked listlessly through the rain.

[Mark H]

Exhausted after such a long hard session with Monica, Sean set off home, plodding thought the puddles as the persistent rain soaked his slippers and even began to fill the egg cup the was carrying.

Sir Nigel purchased a new toupee.

[Narnian Prince]

Overjoyed with the effects that he had seen in the shop, though unprepared for the sudden storm outside, Sir Nigel joyously laid down the last of his pay and donned his new rug.   

Tell: Citabria told a story. 

[Maxine]

Squating on the too small chair in the children's section, Citabria regarded the young audience carefully then in a hushed voice began the tale of Billy Goat Gruff.

She watched the news.

[Narnian Prince]

As she nervously bit her nails to the quick, Maxine deliberately disobeyed her therapist and watched the telly awaiting anything on the war thousands of miles away. 

Tell: Gyppo hated Christmas.



p.s.  Hey there Maxine!    Welcome to the Circle!  Hope you enjoy your time with us and we all look forward to seeing lots more of your work. 

Chris

[Mark H]

Gyppo snapped off the top third of the artificial Christmas tree and and screamed, "Humbug" as he inserted it into Santa's bottom.

Narnian Prince ate a humbug.

[Narnian Prince]

Enjoying the bountiful repast before him on Christmas morning, the Narnian Prince was seemingly unaware of Gyppo's tactics to brainwash him until he bit into the sweet and felt the telltale sugar rush.

Tell: Gyppo and the Grinch are related.   

[Mark H]

Mrs Christmas told her twin sons, John and Grinch, that if they did not stop poaching she would sell them to a passing gypsy.

Tell: Citabria does not like it if Christmas is mentioned before the 20th Dec.

[Narnian Prince]

Citabria could barely his rage as he awoke on the 6th of November to find his hopes dashed again as all the early signs of Christmas were once again evident before the 20th of December.

Tell: Tis the season to be jolly.