Author Topic: Show versus Tell  (Read 148345 times)

Offline thatollie

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Show versus Tell
« on: November 15, 2007, 04:15:28 PM »
We haven't had a show V tell post since September so I thought I'd twist it about a bit. Some people post some very telly stuff and let's see it get turned about into showy stuff shall we.
In the same vein as the never ending plot line game, someone will post the tell and then the next poster would post the show and the next tell line

Like this

Tell: Micheal was sad.

Next poster

Show: Micheal let his head fall to the desk, staring at the door for news of what happened.
Tell: ...
and so on.
I know that isn't a particularly good show.


It begins
Tell: John ordered Gary to climb over the trenches.

= = = = =
Just a note because some people have been showing in the tells and telling in the shows.

Telling: stating what the motivations or emotional state of a character is (eg "Stanley was amused" or "Jack idolised footballers")

Showing:  describing action or imagery so that a reader can infer the motivations and/or emotional state of a character (eg, "Stanley burst into laughter" or "Jack spent all his time at the football ground, and had memorised the vital statistics of every player")
« Last Edit: November 20, 2007, 01:56:57 AM by thatollie »
Never make a decision standing up.

Narnian Prince

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Re: Show versus Tell
« Reply #1 on: November 15, 2007, 05:28:32 PM »
Heck, I always did like a challenge like this.  I'll give it a shot.

Tell: John ordered Gary to climb over the trenches.

Show: With guns blazing in the darkness around them, John glared at Gary and gave the command for everyone to start climbing the mud slick walls.

Offline jeanette

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Re: Show versus Tell
« Reply #2 on: November 15, 2007, 05:37:27 PM »
Bill walked into the bar and yelled at the barmaid
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Offline thatollie

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Re: Show versus Tell
« Reply #3 on: November 15, 2007, 05:39:49 PM »
The door crashed into the wall, "pour me the usual," barked Bill Firewater McMahon.

Tell: Dick and Pete sat on a bench in the park.
« Last Edit: November 15, 2007, 05:41:59 PM by thatollie »
Never make a decision standing up.

Narnian Prince

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Re: Show versus Tell
« Reply #4 on: November 16, 2007, 12:03:49 AM »
Show: Completing their morning jog through the neighbourhood, Dick and Pete slowed to a halt and reclined on a bench near some swings.

Tell:  Sally was angry.

Offline thatollie

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Re: Show versus Tell
« Reply #5 on: November 16, 2007, 12:05:08 AM »
Sally threw the pink teddy across the room.

Tell: Chris was laughing.
Never make a decision standing up.

Narnian Prince

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Re: Show versus Tell
« Reply #6 on: November 16, 2007, 12:10:56 AM »
Seeing the discomfort that his prank had caused Sally, Chris could not contain his mirth.

Tell:  Ollie scratched his head.

Offline thatollie

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Re: Show versus Tell
« Reply #7 on: November 16, 2007, 12:14:04 AM »
Ollie ran a hand through his blond hair, "well I'm confused."

Tell: The rainy days upset Sylvia.
Never make a decision standing up.

Narnian Prince

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Re: Show versus Tell
« Reply #8 on: November 16, 2007, 12:15:59 AM »
Never one to enjoy the clouds as well as the sun, Sylvia's mood darkened as the clouds moved in.

Tell:  The truck stopped.

Offline thatollie

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Re: Show versus Tell
« Reply #9 on: November 16, 2007, 12:20:10 AM »
John slammed his foot on the brake, the semi skidded to a halt.

Tell: Pete's joke did not go down well with the rest of the group.
Never make a decision standing up.

Narnian Prince

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Re: Show versus Tell
« Reply #10 on: November 16, 2007, 12:22:58 AM »
The group exchanged glances of confusion and anger as Pete nervously repeated the punchline.

Tell: The police arrested her.

Offline thatollie

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Re: Show versus Tell
« Reply #11 on: November 16, 2007, 12:44:07 AM »
Her arms were wrenched behind her back as the cold steel locked onto her wrists.

Tell: Ollie shouted, "Frefticca," as he typed, "The End."
Never make a decision standing up.

Narnian Prince

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Re: Show versus Tell
« Reply #12 on: November 16, 2007, 12:50:29 AM »
His countenance bathed in the sweat of confusion, Ollie continued to search for a meaning to 'frefticca' as he concluded his story with the more simplistic two word ending, 'the end'.

Tell: Carrie felt a draft from behind.

(ahve fun with this one, ollie!  :D )

Offline thatollie

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Re: Show versus Tell
« Reply #13 on: November 16, 2007, 12:55:29 AM »
Legs pumping, she skated down the platform, her long hair being whipped by the wind. It wasn't the only thing being whipped by the wind...

Tell: that was fun.
Never make a decision standing up.

Narnian Prince

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Re: Show versus Tell
« Reply #14 on: November 16, 2007, 12:56:52 AM »
The scene before us was made more enjoyable by the fact that Carrie was enjoying herself as much as anyone.

Tell: I agree.