Challenger 2:
Laugh a Little (1086 wds)
John and Mary had been married for twenty-seven years. Like most marriages, they had their ups and downs. Overall, their life together was pleasant if not fairytale wonderful.
John was in middle management in a large firm and made more than enough money to support his family. Mary was given the freedom to not work so she volunteered at the local animal shelter two days a week. She was active in her community and both John and Mary were staunch members of their church.
Like all married couples, each one had little irritating habits that would set the other's teeth on edge. Why do we so irritate the ones we love? And John and Mary did truly love one another.
John's practical jokes simply drove Mary to distraction. He never understood that. At work, the jokes were a way to get along with both peers and underlings. Everyone there thought John was one funny guy. His jokes were never outright cruel and everyone seemed to enjoy them. Except Mary. She hated the practical jokes whether she was the butt of the prank or not.
Year after year she suffered in silence. Then she began to suffer out loud. She told John and she told John and he said she was nagging and she continued to complain and the complaints fell on deaf ears. On and on and on. John liked his practical jokes. Everyone else liked his practical jokes. Surely his wife could accommodate him on this.
The battle raged for years. And still there were practical jokes. Each new prank turned Mary a little further away from her husband. Each time he would coax and say, "Come on Mary, it's a joke. I'm not such a rat. These are funny. Lighten up some, darling. Laugh more."
"Laugh more," Mary would think. "I'm so sick of this I could scream. Laughing is the farthest thing from my mind right now. All I want is an adult for a partner, not some adolescent jerk who likes to make fools of those around him."
After major outbursts, John would cut back on his high jinks at home. He could still have a little fun at work. Those people weren't too stuffy to have a little chuckle. His subordinates, especially, laughed at his antics. They never minded being the object of attention, even if it was slightly demeaning. At least they were laughing at work, and that is always a good thing. Right?
John and Mary were dining out at a rather fancy restaurant. It was Sweetest Day, a day especially made by greeting card makers to increase card sales and backed by florists and restaurant owners as a way to increase revenue during a slack time. Like many other couples, John and Mary were grateful not to have to think of their own romantic moments, but rather to have a pattern laid out for them by industries who could nudge them into a loving gesture.
John was trying to placate Mary. Last week he had pulled another one of his witty little pranks on his wife. She, of course, took it the wrong way. If there were two ways to interpret anything, his wife always chose the way that put him in the worst light. It wasn't like he was doing anything wrong. He liked to have fun. She was so strait-laced. But to appease the woman he truly loved, he would wine and dine her at this expensive restaurant.
Looking around the place showed lots of men with graying temples and their perky, wrinkle-free dining mates. John and Mary knew they were in the minority. Two people with graying temples, albeit with Mary's gray discreetly covered at the salon every four to five weeks. Most people today had a serial monogamy, if monogamy at all. They knew they were lucky to have found each other. Even Mary was feeling less antagonistic in this setting. John's idea of fun didn't always match hers. That didn't make him an evil man. Right?
They ordered a bottle of Merlot, Mary's favorite. John was more of a Chardonnay guy, but he was trying to make up for his last faux pas. The wine came and the two of them perused the menu. John's favorite thing to order was steak. He loved a nice pearly pink inside, seared outside steak, with a fluffy baked potato. His only choice came in which type of steak to order. He rarely even looked at the rest of the menu.
Mary always read the entire list. She enjoyed a variety of foods and sought out things that were difficult to cook or brand new. She was scanning the list when her eye fell on Rack of Lamb. She hadn't had that in a long time, John was a beef eater and she only got lamb if they were dining out.
The waiter came and the couple ordered. John got a T-bone, rare and Mary ordered Rack of Lamb. And then John started. That damn song. She had forgotten he did that when she ordered this dish. John was singing sotto voco, "Mary had a little lamb." She hated that.
She glared daggers at him but he kept it up for the entire night. Mary became more sullen and uncommunicative and John felt the entire evening slipping out of his control. "Come on, Mary, I'm not such a rat. Laugh a little."
Last week was bad enough, but this was to be his apology dinner and even there he couldn't stop with the stupid little thing that irritated her most. He was a rat. A huge rat. Last week she had been so taken with his rat-ness that she had bought some rat poison.
So the "happy" couple finished their entrée and opted to return home for dessert and coffee. Mary had made the dessert that day. Actually she had made two different desserts. One was just a "prank" as she told herself. One was what they would surely have. One dessert contained the rat poison she had purchased last week. She wasn't really sure of the dosage. She wasn't sure if the amount she had put in would make him sick or if, instead, it was a lethal dose.
Now all she had to decide was which dessert to serve. She had the whole drive home to make that choice.
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Poll
