Author Topic: A Swan's Gift (it's been a while. Life caved in and I had to fade for a while)  (Read 1364 times)

Offline actpoet

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A pause in the pond
oh, your sapphire eyes appear
swan spreads their beauty.

SAY8
Write on,

actpoet1

Offline Amie

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Hi Bruce, good to see you back :)

I don't know a lot about haiku, so I can't offer much in the way of technical comment.  It's pretty imagery, but I think I'm missing the layers (and I know from reading your other work that they are there).

I came across a great article on haiku that I forwarded on to another member - I'll ask if he's still got the link, as I can't find it right now.
"You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet." - Kafka

Offline actpoet

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I agree. First time trying a haiku. Please point me in the direction of that article.

Thanks.
Write on,

actpoet1

Offline Mark H

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Buy Bristle Side Down, The Man Who Wore Brown Shoes and Middleclass Machismo here:
http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?contributorId=570142

If poetry is not your thing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PueM04F0Qz8 or: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0Zm8cj9MGg