Author Topic: my life, my tragedy  (Read 1274 times)

Offline -ling_philo04-

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my life, my tragedy
« on: October 18, 2007, 03:39:14 AM »
I am a painter… I paint the beauty of life through every stroke I make. I give color to every dull picture and I give life to the inanimate feature in every piece of paper. I create a masterpiece that touches every person’s soul….I paint life.
I am a writer… I inspire the other half of the globe with the thoughts I have in my mind. I awaken every sleeping hollow that have become dummies and captives of this modified world.  I write essays, stories, novels, and any other kinds of manuscripts that would intensify the emotion of existence…. I write life.
I am a child… obedient to the wants of my parents. I do whatever pleases them. I study hard to attain good grades in payment of all the hardwork they have done to raise me. I fulfill my duties as a daughter to make them happy and for them to be proud of me…. My parents are my life.
I am a slave…a person who has made herself a captive of this insincere society. I paint not to please myself but to fulfill the wants of every criticizing eye. I write not in accordance   with my principles but to satisfy the interest of every reader. I fulfill my parents’ wants not because it makes me happy but because I don’t want to ruin the name they had made of themselves and to not put them to shame.
I am a slave…I have lost my identity and was driven by the dictates of this merciless world. I am ashamed, not because of whom I am but of whom I have become…. I lost my life.

-let's invade the world through our works-

Offline Tracy D

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Re: my life, my tragedy
« Reply #1 on: October 19, 2007, 03:22:30 PM »
"I am a slave…I have lost my identity and was driven by the dictates of this merciless world. I am ashamed, not because of whom I am but of whom I have become…. I lost my life."

Should it be, "I have been driven" instead of "was"?   

And the next sentence confuses me.  I understand the "whom I have become part"  that is illustrated so well in the rest of the piece, but isn't "who I am" the same person as "what I have become"?  I think I would word it more like, "I am ashamed of whom I have become.  I'm dead inside."  I really like the rest of the piece.

You may not like that.  Just trying to help.

Sincerely,

Tracy D                                       

 
 

Offline -ling_philo04-

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Re: my life, my tragedy
« Reply #2 on: October 23, 2007, 03:52:45 AM »
thanks for the comment... well i'd wish to explain my view about that part but i'll take your advice...

glad to hear from you


thanks...
-let's invade the world through our works-