Author Topic: Extended and altured scene  (Read 2812 times)

Offline Simon

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 327
Extended and altured scene
« on: May 13, 2007, 11:30:16 PM »
On a stage set up to rehearse a short scene: a party scene, a table with drinks, and a couch with a mop leaning on it.

Evan is the director of the play in which the scene is contained. He is an authority in the theatre world.

Scott is an actor playing Steve in the play. Scott is criticized for his failure to understand the pretentious aspects of the production.

Jill is an actress, playing as Jane in the same play; she is able to handle the pretentious aspects, and is somewhat of a suck up to Evan. Somewhat of a brownnoser.

The play is famous, and several years old, no one in this production is affiliated with the original production. The mop is used to represent Cindy, ďto symbolize her objectificationĒ her lines are not voiced at first, but are paused for. Evan conceived this replacement. Steve is romantically obsessed with Jill, and Jill is annoyed by this but attempts to spare Steveís feelings.

Jill and Steve are discovered down stage left in character.

Scott: Hey there.

Jill: Hey.

Scott: SoÖ youíve had some time to think-

Jill: No I have not changed my mind, and will never change my mind. Sorry.

Scott: Oh, okay. Youíre sure.

Jill: Yeah.

(Scott backs up and sits stage right of the mop)

Scott: Hey there.

(Jill exits)

(Cindy pause)

Scott: (laughs, pause) Oh youíre serious. Oh um, okay. (Loudly) Sure Iíll make out with you, if you really want to.

(Scott begins making out with the mop, then starts ďpatooey-ingĒ)

Evan (from off stage): Cut. (Enters) Scott, was that Steve spitting or was that Scott coming through? I donít think Steve would be spitting in the middle of kissing this beautiful woman. It wouldnít make very effective jealousy.

Scott: Itís gross. Could I at least clean it?

Evan: (mocking) Could I clean it? (Normal) No you can not clean it. That devoids the whole point of having the mop. The mop symbolizes Cindyís objectification, and itís filthiness. If we cleaned the mop, we might as well have an actor play Cindy.

Scott: That would make sense.

Evan: Hmm.

Scott: That makes perfect sense. Thank you for the clarification.

Evan: Good. (to Jill) Jill get out here please.

(Jill enters)

Jill: Yes sir.

Evan: You did some real good work there. Just not quite performance ready, did you see that.

Jill: Oh yes sir.

Evan: Your exit there, it wasnít so justified. I mean of course itís justified from the rational perspective, but your (searching for the word)Ö emotional motivation wasnít so present on stage. Just another little thing to fix (to all) in the next three weeks (sigh). Okay letís just take it from before the kiss. (Exits) 1, 2, 3, action.

Scott: (loudly) Sure Iíll make out with you, if you really want to.

(Scott reluctantly makes out with the mop, then mimes being pushed away)

(Cindy pause)

Scott: Of course I respect you. (makes out)

(Jill enters pours another drink)

Scott: (pulls away) Just a second, Iím going to get drinks, Iíll be right back.

(Cindy pause)

Scott: (moves to Jill) Sorry.

Jill: What?

Scott: Oh I know youíre angry, but itís just the natural result of your rejection.

Jill: Iím not angry. Iím just a little-

Scott: (putts arm around Jill) Aroused?

Jill: Annoyed.

(Cindy pause)

Scott (to Cindy): Oh Cindy I was just joking around with my friend Jane here.

(Cindy pause)

Scott (saying his line too early to Cindy): No thereís nothing between-

Evan (from off stage): Cut (enters) Scott, could you take out your script.

(Scott takes script out of back pocket)

Evan: Now what do you have there? Is it moving through your colon right now? Hmm? Is it?

Scott: UhÖ

Evan: Then why are you turning it into shit Scott! Look here, itís written right in, Cindyís line is eight beats long. Was that eight beats Scott? No it was five.

Jill (to Evan): I counted four.

Evan: See Scott. (to Jill) Good work Jill, I just need a littleÖ (searching for words) more. Scott itís more than just the little screw-ups. You donít even let Cindyís lines land on you.

Scott: Well sheís kind of a mop.

Evan: You will have to learn to create a character out of the mop for this show to work. Letís pick it up from ďIt doesnít look that way.Ē (exits) 1, 2, 3, action.

(Cindy Pause, Scott counts eight beats)
Scott (to Cindy): No thereís nothing between us, just being buddy, buddy (squeezes her tighter, rubs her hair)

Jill: (to Scott through her teeth) Fuck off.

Scott: Ah, (lets go, laughs).

(Cindy Pause)

Scott: (to Cindy) Yes of course dear. (goes back to beside Cindy pause) Inspiration just struck, a poem. (Loudly) (an as of yet unwritten poem on the subject of suicide to gain  affection)

Jill (to Scott): Stop youíre getting pathetic, nothing will make he like you.

(Cindy Pause)

Jill (to Cindy): Iím not jealous youíre just too stupid to understand-

Evan (enters): Cut. (to Jill) Donít worry Jill, it wasnít you, you were great, I think youíre doingÖ (searching for words) a bit too much. I mean weíre not doing a parody here (laughs).

(Jill forces laughter, a yes man laugh)

Evan: (to Scott) Scott, your performance lacksÖfullness. Youíre lacking a connection with Cindy. Donít just connect with the words she says, but the way she reacts to Jane.

Scott: She just sits there.

Evan: Imagination, project what her emotions should be onto the mop. Create an animal essence for the mop if that helps.

Scott: So to make the mop represent a person, Iíve got to figure out the animal which the mop takes some of the characteristics of, and imagine them onto the character which the mop is supposed to represent.

Evan: (pause) What you have to understand about your character is his essential struggle. (Sits on couch grabs mop) You see you have this delicate gentle physical lust for Cindy-

Scott: The mop?

Evan: This is way too late in rehearsals to be fucking around like that. Yes the fucking mop. (pause) Anyway, you have this (begins holding the mop sensually) delicate gentle physical lust for Cindy, but you have a harsh, and blunt emotional obsessive love for Jane here. The core internal battle is his confusion between love and lust, because love is harsh, and lust is delicate, and sophisticated.

Scott: With a mop.

Jill: Not with the mop, with Cindy. The mop is a symbol.

Scott: But people wonít get that, they wonít get anything.

Jill: People will know, people arenít stupid.

Evan: Inspiration. A voice in the distance. Detached. What a perfect way to symbolize Cindyís emotional state. Plus it will be easier to follow for those who become lost in the brilliance of my symbolism. Iíll voice Cindy. Okay. Weíll start with ďStop youíre getting patheticĒ. (exits) 1, 2, 3, magic time.

Jill (to Scott): Stop youíre getting pathetic, nothing will make he like you.

Evan (in a high voice): Itís beautiful, youíre just jealous.

Jill (to Cindy): Iím not jealous youíre just too stupid to understand, that heís trying to manipulate me, through you and through his own death.

Scott (to Jill): Okay Iíll just get the rope. (stands)

Evan: What are you doing?

Jill: (to Scott) Fuck Scott itís not going to work.

Evan: Donít do it Scott.

Jill: (to Cindy) Some as of yet unwritten line giving the physical qualities of whatever object I settle on describing the personal qualities of Cindy, humorous.

Scott: (laughs) That was not my fault.

Evan: Cut. (enters) Scott, that was not a place in which your character would really be laughing. (to Jill) Jill Iím looking for a more whole performance from you, you know, I need more (searching for words) totality. So anyway, we should take it just from the top. Oo, this time letís try getting Jill to play as Cindy, and put the mop in the place of Jane, you know switch it up keep it fresh.


Jill: So (pause) this play is never really going to be put up, youíve just been wasting our time.
Evan: This is just so I can achieve perspective.

Jill: Everything is for something, but nothing real it just- screw it, I quit.

Evan: No donít leave, ďthe show must go onĒ.

(Jill exits)

Evan: (to Scott) Scotty baby, alright your character objectifies both Cindy and Jane, who is now this cushion here (takes cushion and places it where Jill was standing). Okay lets pick it up from where we were, umm, the end of the as of yet unwritten line. (exits) 1, 2, 3, please work.

Evan (doing a Jill voice): The end of the line, some reason to exit.

Scott: I donít care, Iíve got JillÖ Jane, Cindy (pause defiantly) Cindy.

(Evan tries to sneak onto stage and drag the cushion away)

Evan (Jill voice, while exiting): Well I hope youíre fucking happy.

Scott: Okay this isnít working.

Evan: Thatís the wrong part, thatís from scene two.

(Scott exits)

Evan: Scotty? Scotty come on back the show must- well fuck you, the show goes on without you, youíre easily replaced. (Places stool on couch) Alright places everyone. I wanna see whole performances out of all of you. Lets try it from the top. Steve, Jane why donít you try to switch roles and see how that works, (in Jill Voice) Iíd like to do some roll playing with you. (normal) ah save it for the cast party, right after this run through. From the top. (exits) 1 2 3, youíre beautiful all of you, Go.

Does scene using voices for each of the characters, fade.

Evan (to lighting guy): Hey not time for fade yet. Fade to black. Fuck.

Offline Sasha6

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 192
Re: Extended and altured scene
« Reply #1 on: September 24, 2007, 10:15:42 PM »
Hey, I know this has been sitting for awhile but I saw no one had commented and decided that I would like to. I like this. It's very humorous and enjoyable.

I have a couple suggestions. At one point they say that it's three weeks before the play starts? To press Evan closer to the edge so he's more upset and nervous about the actors messing up, move the opening date closer. It presents urgency in Evan that can produce more comedy. Take for example the movie "Noises Off" with Michael Cain. The actors are up at 12 in the morning going through a tech/dress rehearsal of the play that opens that night and keep messing up terribly.

And something else to consider, maybe you should have Evan on the corner of the stage sitting at a desk probably flipping through papers, every once in awhile having a techy come up and ask him something and have him react to the actors not just yelling at them. There could be a lot of comedy in that as well.

They just idea's that I thought maybe be good, but it's just my opinion. It's funny the way it is if you don't like those ideas.

My significant other is myself, which is what happens when you suffer from self-obsession and multiple personalities.