Author Topic: is there true love for real  (Read 158911 times)

Offline Majere26

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #645 on: October 01, 2008, 06:32:18 PM »
Alas......
I still hold true to my claim that there is such a thing as true love and that it does indeed last forever, however, like anything else in life it is not something that is impervious to change. As all things in life will eventually succumb to that which is inevitable, love is no exception. My wife and i have ended our relationship that has spanned these last 22 years. does this make me love her any less, or her love me any less? I can only answer for myself in this when i say no, not at all. Both of us have realized that at this point in our lives there is more needed for this relationship to go on and love just isn't enough. I'm sure if i were to allow myself to sink into a depression about this I would eventually go through the various stages of depression , denial, rage etc...., in which time I might develope feelings I would associate with hatred, but let's be honest.......after 22 years.....do I really hate her? No, not the least. I hate what has happened, and what I am going through. I hate the fact that I couldn't make her as happy as I had once vowed and hoped to. I hate the fact that I have to wait for certain weekends to have my kids with me, but I don't hate her. Tell me how this love, even in the abscence of a relationship, is not true?
Like a few others to have posted here, I was not given much choice in this matter, and in a fashion I was also forced to leave what was once my home. Still..........I can't bring myself to hate her. Is it because I know better, and that to hate her is not going to remove or replace the pain i feel over this? Or is it because I know the futility in hating someone I have spent so much time with, endeavored and endured so much with....? Is it some higher principle within me that won't allow this hatred to exist? Honestly I don't know. though i do know that it makes nothing any easier by hating, and actually makes things harder. Hate, love, it doesn't matter, I still have to be tolerant and work with this woman over the next several years as our children grow. How will hatred help in this other than to stick two children in the middle of something that has nothing to do with them and they don't deserve?
Perhaps I've matured beyond my own ideas of maturity in this but it matters not. I still know in my heart and in my mind that I am still very much in love with this woman and always will be. Our time has run its course for this time....and I do use the word time loosely.. I hope that one day we can reconcile what we feel and reach a better understanding. I won't hold my breath on us ever getting back together, but I do honestly hope we grow and learn to get past where we are with each other at this moment in our lives.
Thank you once again to you all for the contributions of wisdom and experience you have all offered and the opportunity for me to express all that I have . You are all surely some very loving and wonderful people to have shared that which you have.
                   Majere

Offline sune

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #646 on: November 04, 2008, 06:21:18 PM »
THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR PERSONAL JOURNEY, MAJERE...We all learn from our own life experiences and from each others experiences too.

Still there's HOPE..there's a way around all these things..there's a way to HEAL ourselves..

"You can heal your life" movie is here....It's an eye opening event...by the Founder of Hay House Publishing company, Louise Hay.
On this web page Movie Trailer and Whole Movie can be watched.

http://www.youcanhealyourlifemovie.com/

Hope you all enjoy the journey..!

Offline naturewalker

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #647 on: November 05, 2008, 12:02:21 AM »
Maj and sune,
Thanks for keeping this tender thread alive!
Maj, you have put it quite well... the fact that you two are on your individual paths now does not diminish your feelings nor does it change what you have experienced in this relationship thus far.
I will also stick to my credo... true love is;and does last forever.
While it does feel good to be loved back and it does disappoint not to be loved back, the love we feel does not require reciprocation. True love is, quite simply, a matter of the heart that feels, the head that knows and the eyes that see...
My love is my love. It is true. Will I be loved in return? That is his/ her love. It will definitely make the world spin a little faster for me to get what I give. It will, however, not change the nature of that which I feel and give.
Hope and healing may be spiritual principles that help us deal with the hurt we may feel at times. That hurt is largely a matter of expectation. Giving up on expectation is the most difficult spiritual journey anyone can embark on.
Hurt or not, requieted or unrequieted, expectation is not something I want to give up at this moment in my life.
And you know something?
When you expect nothing but the best, you... generally... get it!
And when you expect nothing... that is what you get... nothing!

To love...
To all the loving that so many beautiful people have shared here...

NW
Success is not a matter of spontaneous combustion... one must deliberately set oneself on fire

Offline CarrieSheppard

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #648 on: November 05, 2008, 08:39:55 AM »
Ah, this thread has a life of its own, for sure.

I am in a position where my life is changing, love is chaning.  I am discovering new things, losing good things, finding good things.

True love is a thing though - is loving unrequitedly really proper love?  I think love needs to be fed, like any living thing.  If it is starved, it will die.

And sometimes, someone can throw a bucket of water over it too!

Happy Wednesday all

Carrie

Offline naturewalker

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #649 on: November 05, 2008, 01:03:57 PM »
Quote
True love is a thing though - is loving unrequitedly really proper love? 

Loving is really proper love, Carrie... requieted or unrequieted. Our love can grow on its own, fed by our own desire to love ... as also our desire to be loved, for sure.

Once you have experienced love, it never really quite lets you be! ;) It may mature into the kind of rationalization Maj writes about or the kind of healing Sune demonstrates. It can also be the kind of thing many of us other ordinary mortals experience... the ecstacy, the pain, the exhilaration and the anguish... As I said, it feels great to be loved in return. Loving someone irrespective of what is returned, or not, however, going to change the nature of the love we all experience.

We grow. We change. Our love changes, too.

There will be times we want to be simply held and experience the depth of the love we feel in each other's eyes and embrace. Sometimes it just does not happen at the same magical moment for both of us together! Does that make anyone's love less real or less true? We may also feel frustrated at not being understood, at being stood up on most occasions when we really need or want to be loved and at other times someone will just simply walk up and give us the look that says louder than words just how much we are loved.

It may sound like a lot of banter and a lot of disjointed thoughts. But... Carrie... I can surely say... Love does endure. In whatever form we choose to experience it. It simply cannot vanish from where it once flourished. If it did flourish.

Maybe, the wisdom is in being able to understand the difference and letting go when you see all signs of it not being real but only an imagined reality... or being able to hold on because YOU KNOW IT COULD NOT BE MORE REAL!!!!

Love,
NW
Success is not a matter of spontaneous combustion... one must deliberately set oneself on fire

Offline CarrieSheppard

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #650 on: November 06, 2008, 03:29:56 AM »
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We grow. We change. Our love changes, too.


Yes.   I know we can't 'go back'.  When love turns to something destructive, and you don't know why, it's not easy.

But new love - ah, now there's a thing. What if you find a different love, so much better than before, and it's reciprocated?  That would be something.

You might find my 'love song' amusing - it's on my myspace. site.  'Hey what do I know about love' it's called and it's supposed to be ironic.

Have a good day.

Carrie

Offline naturewalker

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #651 on: November 06, 2008, 10:16:08 PM »
I did hear your song and it IS ironic. Nice lay-out, too.

As I said... the wisdom and maturity make it easier to make out the difference between true love and otherwise.

Have a LOVEly day!
Success is not a matter of spontaneous combustion... one must deliberately set oneself on fire