Author Topic: is there true love for real  (Read 157829 times)

Nadine L

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #45 on: November 11, 2007, 01:19:39 AM »
Ah, how sweet. Yes, MWC is a second family.

I love you, guys!

Nadine

PaulW

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #46 on: November 12, 2007, 10:45:58 AM »
First, the original question - How do you tell it's the real thing? For me it's simple, their happiness is more important to you than your own. You can put lots of fluff round it, but that's what it boils down to. And that covers pretty much all the variants of love: mother's love, romantic love, etc. This is easy when you can do what makes you both happy - when you have to make a choice though - that's that's the real test.

Is true love forever? It can be, but isn't always. People change, sometimes dramatically over the course of their lifetime. Even with the best basis, it still needs feeding and looking after.

German - I get what you are saying about African men not being 'your type'. That's fair enough, but don't be surprised if one day you find you've misunderstood what 'your type' is. :)  I used to think that my type was petite, dark-haired, mediterranean type, feminine women. Then I met someone who I fell totally in love with and, miraculously, discovered my 'type' was a bubbly blonde Welsh girl with big boobs and a huge grin. Funny how quickly your type can change really. ;)

Offline CarrieSheppard

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #47 on: November 13, 2007, 01:41:47 PM »
I agree Paul - love can surprise you, and you do have to work at it.

Been married 26 years.  And I'm still learning about love in all sorts of ways.  Not just partner to partner, but about the wider experience of giving and receiving love.

My 'type'?  Well, what does it matter, as long as I'm his?   ;D

Carrie

Offline naturewalker

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #48 on: November 13, 2007, 02:00:05 PM »
Makes me soooooooo happy to 'see' sooooooo many people root for love! The world is a beautiful place!! One only has to look a little harder when feeling blue. All the other shades are just around the corner!

Great to know all of you- through your writing about things that are close to your heart.
Success is not a matter of spontaneous combustion... one must deliberately set oneself on fire

Nadine L

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #49 on: November 21, 2007, 10:45:40 PM »
I love reading this thread, even when I don't write a post.

Paul, glad to see you back. Missed you, but I/we understand.

Carrie, "his type", perfect answer.

Nature, aren't you glad you found MWC? We're glad you're here.

Everyone else, you're waaaaay cool and very special.

Nadine

Narnian Prince

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #50 on: November 22, 2007, 04:29:43 AM »
Likewise back ya, Nadine!  :D

Offline CarrieSheppard

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #51 on: November 22, 2007, 06:31:08 AM »
So much more I could say - but I lose the words.  Do have to say though, MWC has a lot to answer for!   :D


Offline naturewalker

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #52 on: November 22, 2007, 10:30:00 PM »
I love MWC! And, Nadine L, You are right- this thread makes you believe again! How are you now? All under control? No antibiotics? Pain killers?
LOL
Success is not a matter of spontaneous combustion... one must deliberately set oneself on fire

Nadine L

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #53 on: November 27, 2007, 01:35:13 AM »
Carrie...


Nadine

Nadine L

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #54 on: November 27, 2007, 01:39:28 AM »
Ah yes, Nature...all well. Thanks for asking. Hey, look at you! A hero member already! Ta!  ;D

Nadine

Offline naturewalker

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #55 on: November 27, 2007, 12:25:09 PM »
Hey! I had not even noticed! I was so busy having a great time... I did not see the tag and the stars! This place sure is good! It will have me published yet! Good to know you are better.
Success is not a matter of spontaneous combustion... one must deliberately set oneself on fire

Offline Rob Hopcott

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #56 on: November 28, 2007, 02:35:54 PM »
Hey Praetorian

Forgive a newbie leaping in with all four feet but losing my mum was a massive experience for me too and I wondered if my thoughts might help 

Especially as the relief I finally found was not deistic and that might appeal to a physicist.

After really grieving for over a year, I was walking on Exmoor, a place she loved, and  It occurred to me, that, in a very scientific way, my mother was living  on through me, her son. My very existence was determined by the genes she had passed on to me. The eyes that I was seeing through were  controlled by the genes that she had given me. The legs that were  carrying me across that moorland were designed and grown from the  biological code she had freely donated. The brain with which I was able  to formulate these thoughts and think of her was equally determined by  the genetic code we shared. In a truly scientific way, I was her.

Of course, I am a man and she was a woman and, naturally, my father had  some hand in the exercise, although not a very lasting one. Also, there  are many experiences that I have had in my life that have conditioned  and made me the person I am. Unquestionably, people are the product of  nurture as well as nature. I examined these rationalizations from every  angle but could not escape from the fact that I was, indeed, an  extension of my mother and that she was genuinely within me and a part  of me. I don't mean as a spirit or anything that cannot be measured or  proved scientifically. I simply mean the genetic code by which I have  been biologically designed but which is so important to my fundamental existence. I was designed by her and the design is unique to our  relationship.

Finally, I had found the key to resolving the pain of her death and missing her and I immediately received immense consolation.

I looked out across Exmoor and said out aloud.

"Hey, look at that great view mum."

It worked for me. I hope it works for you and, if it doesn't, time heals... Honest!


Offline CarrieSheppard

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #57 on: November 29, 2007, 06:11:11 AM »
Time heals, but it's amazing what scars you carry around too - whether conciously or unconciously. 

I recently had an experience where I 'realized' just how much I was still grieving for my father.  He died 30 years ago.  And blame, and regret and all that stuff.

But love - love, if you can accept it, that makes the difference.  I can't go back and change things with my dad, that child who lost her father can never talk to him as a woman. But I can accept that the love I feel now for my own children is like that he must have felt, even if he never showed it.

I like your thoughts Hop, about how you carry that which your mother donated to you.  My father was a writer.  I know he gave me that gift.

Carrie

Offline DGSquared

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #58 on: November 29, 2007, 06:24:30 AM »
Hmm... Aren't feelings and guts kind of the same thing? Like a gut feeling? I didn't vote and now isn't the time to spill my guts but I will stop in to this thread often and vote soon.

Do you feel the love? You are wonderful people..truly you are.
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." -Groucho Marx

A child’s life is like a piece of paper on which every passerby leaves a mark. -Chinese proverb

Blondesplosion! ~Deb

Offline Rob Hopcott

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #59 on: November 29, 2007, 11:29:12 AM »
Hi Carrie

I think Byron (the poet) described memory as a scorpion's sting that can come at any time from the past when you are most vulnerable.

As writers and creative people, I think we suffer more than pragmatists because we live our lives more emotionally.

But, I believe we creative people have greater highs too.

Like you, I am also a musician, and some of the most wonderful moments in my life have been when the notes from my sax or flute have intertwined with the notes of another folk musician, making the hairs stand up on the back of my head.

Or, after I have finished editing a piece of writing and finally feel I've got it right, the welling up of emotion and excitement as I leap off my chair, punch the air and yell "YES!" (It's a good thing I work alone!)

Strangely, none of my three children seem to have received the creative genes. They have inherited the unimaginative disposition of their mum. Perhaps this is not a bad thing. They may have easier lives.

However, these days I tend to see my life as a river following my genes. It lovingly flows back into prehistory through my ancestors and forward through my descendants. It's sort of nice to feel part of a stream.

That is, as long as global warming doesn't dry the stream up  ... But that is another thread.

All best

Rob

BTW I'll post a comment on your blog specific to your last article