Hey Praetorian
Forgive a newbie leaping in with all four feet but losing my mum was a massive experience for me too and I wondered if my thoughts might help
Especially as the relief I finally found was not deistic and that might appeal to a physicist.
After really grieving for over a year, I was walking on Exmoor, a place she loved, and It occurred to me, that, in a very scientific way, my mother was living on through me, her son. My very existence was determined by the genes she had passed on to me. The eyes that I was seeing through were controlled by the genes that she had given me. The legs that were carrying me across that moorland were designed and grown from the biological code she had freely donated. The brain with which I was able to formulate these thoughts and think of her was equally determined by the genetic code we shared. In a truly scientific way, I was her.
Of course, I am a man and she was a woman and, naturally, my father had some hand in the exercise, although not a very lasting one. Also, there are many experiences that I have had in my life that have conditioned and made me the person I am. Unquestionably, people are the product of nurture as well as nature. I examined these rationalizations from every angle but could not escape from the fact that I was, indeed, an extension of my mother and that she was genuinely within me and a part of me. I don't mean as a spirit or anything that cannot be measured or proved scientifically. I simply mean the genetic code by which I have been biologically designed but which is so important to my fundamental existence. I was designed by her and the design is unique to our relationship.
Finally, I had found the key to resolving the pain of her death and missing her and I immediately received immense consolation.
I looked out across Exmoor and said out aloud.
"Hey, look at that great view mum."
It worked for me. I hope it works for you and, if it doesn't, time heals... Honest!
