Author Topic: is there true love for real  (Read 159971 times)

Offline Hmmm

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #15 on: September 15, 2007, 11:04:08 AM »
I think true love can be for real, if you work on it and can compromise. You would die for someone you really loved, but all the same, two people who really loved each other could argue and fight.

My parents were married for half a century. They were made for each other. They never raised their voices at each other. They never had a fight. I know this is true from several sources.

Mum took a swipe at dad occasionally for his annoying habits, but he didn't take a swipe back. He copped it because he loved my mother more than life itself, so to speak.

But I think true love comes with people who are similar and also opposite. They must be tolerant of each other, willing to compromise, willing to sacrifice, never argue or fight, and work on the relationship for the rest of their lives. Do you think you could do that without bursting at some stage?

Never say a word you don't mean; that's extremely important, even in the heat of the moment.

I've learnt an awful lot about love from my parents. I've learnt an awful lot from my sister and her late husband, who was an abusive alcoholic and committed suicide after succumbing to acute paranoia and a whole host of mental illnesses in 2001.

Yes, I think it's real, but it's not something that's just there and never goes away. If you see it's there after years of knowing someone, and if you want it, you have to hold onto it hard and never give up. My 2c.
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Offline Bru

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #16 on: September 15, 2007, 11:25:51 AM »
and I couldnt agree more!
Let's hear it for Truel Love ... :)
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German Voodoo

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #17 on: September 15, 2007, 11:30:47 AM »
Gently spoken, and I'd certainly like to believe it.

I don't much believe in afterlife, but I want to believe. I'll have kids one day, couldn't bear to think of them simply dying as if they never were.

Let's all hope, then.

Offline Hmmm

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #18 on: September 15, 2007, 01:22:25 PM »
I don't much believe in afterlife, but I want to believe. I'll have kids one day, couldn't bear to think of them simply dying as if they never were.

That captures the essence of the mental crisis I've been having for some time now. I am 27, almost 28, and just after turning 26 my mother died. I looked into the future and for a while saw no future, or at the very best, an extremely miserable one.

I can't honestly say I believe in an afterlife, but I must believe, otherwise I face the prospect of never seeing my mother again. Not only was she my mother, but my best friend. All the things left unsaid, the wonderful times we had together, the hilarious times (very frequent), etc.

I almost hate life. I have a glimmer of hope for the future and my writing is a massive part of it. I have to think of mum as she was and refuse to grieve anymore.

On the other hand, quantum physics cannot rule out the possibility she is actually, factually, out there, somewhere. That's why I love physics.
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Offline Bru

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #19 on: September 15, 2007, 01:54:51 PM »
Praetorian, your mother would not want you to grieve.  Hang in there, it does get better. I promise, and in the meantime hold on to the thought that she is out there watching out for you, just as she always did.
It's how I got thru losing my mum.
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I'll try to help somehow'
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Offline Gyppo

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #20 on: September 15, 2007, 03:31:59 PM »
I don't believe in predestination, like V said, "I do believe in the chance that two people can be so complimentery to each other that it simply works, and love is the result."


I saw this with my Mum and Dad, two people who would never have met but for the vagaries of WW2.  Both had loved and lost previously, both in tragic circumstances.  One war related, the other just the cruel caprices of fate or whatever.

Like two parts of a jigsaw without either losing their own identity.  They quarrelled sometimes - they could both be pig-stubborn on some issues - but never with any lasting bitterness.  In the day to day running of the family each would take the lead according to their own abilities.  Wonderful role models for me and my little Sis, and people who know us well say it shows.  A right little pair of 'Stealth Northerners' ;-)

TO:  I'm not too sure about predestination either, but sometimes you have to wonder if 'fate' doesn't occasionally just call a result without bothering to roll the dice first.

The way I met my own ex-wife was equally flukey, so many odd 'coincidences' slotting into place until the meeting was inevitable.

Gyppo

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Offline thatollie

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #21 on: September 15, 2007, 03:41:53 PM »
Another of the, "If it weren't for WW2, I'd never have been born group." I'm also in that group.
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Offline Mark H

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #22 on: September 15, 2007, 03:46:04 PM »
Me too.
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Offline Gyppo

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #23 on: September 15, 2007, 04:46:54 PM »
There's a lot of us about ;-)

And now I'm off down the road to tease the Barmaids and do some 'people watching'.

Gyppo
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Nadine L

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #24 on: September 16, 2007, 12:50:48 AM »
Wow, lots of very complex thoughts in this thread. They make me love you guys even more because you have risked to share them. My thoughts in reading the replies haven't gelled, but here they are--minus a logical flow:

I think the future is borne out of our hope for today. It can seem bleak at times. We leave footprints upon this Earth, often unaware of the lives we touch and how we touch them. Our ancestors, parents included, live on in us, in our dreams and hopes, in what we leave behind.

Love isn't flawless, but it is better than never loving someone or something.

Life (or the future) isn't hopeless unless we agree that it is, and succumb to that belief. Life is hard sometimes and it is okay to admit it. Sometimes we have to take baby steps. Sometimes we have to hold onto a belief, a friend, or a lover to get through the day, the year, the next 20 minutes. What's important to me is that we do hold on. And, when we are able, we reach out to help each other.

Many of us were raised to see the differences among us as imperfections, but MWC is proof that people from all over the world, with many differences in opinion, creeds, colors/colours, styles, ideals (and such) can find common ground and grow to appreciate something about each other.

We need to plant for the winters that are sure to come, and to plan for the spring that will follow. I've printed what Carrie wrote on page one of this thread. I plan to hang on to her belief in love when I cannot hold onto my own. (Thank you, Carrie.)

We aren't as alone as we think sometimes. We need to find peace with who we are and learn to appreciate in ourselves the things that others see so much more clearly and lovingly, and in turn appreciate each other (near and far).

Nadine

Offline Hmmm

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #25 on: September 16, 2007, 03:20:42 AM »
Praetorian, your mother would not want you to grieve.  Hang in there, it does get better. I promise, and in the meantime hold on to the thought that she is out there watching out for you, just as she always did.
It's how I got thru losing my mum.


Thanks Bru. It's nice to know there are others out there who are willing to talk about it. It's hard to talk about, I know. Thank you for sharing.

Yes, I can see my mother temporarily furious at me for grieving and then practically belting me around the head! (With a loving smile of course).

-- Praetorian
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Nadine L

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #26 on: September 16, 2007, 03:36:39 AM »
The first year they were gone was the absolute strangest. The odd things they said became clear. Motives were finally understood. Unresolved disagreements, resolved. Regrets, dismissed. It's a process. Best to go through it and be settled with the lingering memories.

Nadine

(A weird thing. The age my mother was when I was born is the same age I was when she died, on my birthday.)
« Last Edit: September 16, 2007, 03:38:36 AM by Nadine L »

DwWin

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #27 on: September 17, 2007, 03:35:58 AM »
For those who have ever found it, or lost it, they know that true love does exist. For those that have never experienced it, I donít know if that is a blessing or a curse. True love explodes all your senses and turns the world into a warm and wonderful place, alive with colour, starry eyes and silly grins. But to loose it, thatís when you find out that hell does exist on earth. You sink to the depths of despair, you are literally empty inside because you donít see the point in eating.

After experiencing the pain of loosing true love I think I would argue with the quote ďIt is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.Ē

With regards to those who have lost a parent or parents, the love a parent has for their children, and a child has for its parents, is arguably the truest form of love you can get. I lost my mother when I was fifty years old, she was ninety one, and I too lost my best friend and a big hole opened up in my life. To grieve is human and I have never stopped missing her but the passage of time dulls the pain.

Offline RINKA

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #28 on: September 18, 2007, 10:36:20 AM »
 :-*voodoo there is nothing wrong with african men, i can tell color is not a receipt that he's a better man at heart. follow your heart where it leads you to, irrespective of color. ha ha 

Offline RINKA

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Re: is there true love for real
« Reply #29 on: September 18, 2007, 10:52:50 AM »
praetorian :D :D :-* i agree with what you have said. it show that you have a family that shared love. your mother will be very proud of you. I wish you know how many people you have inspired. SENDING U A HUG