Author Topic: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)  (Read 262960 times)

Offline McWawa

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Re: the "too much free time" thread
« Reply #15 on: October 13, 2007, 04:28:03 AM »
 ( I was going to make posting here to this thread but i gotta go, kind of very busy just now)

Bryan
"Do you not know, my son, with how little wisdom the world is governed?",
Axel Oxenstierna

Offline Gyppo

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Re: the "too much free time" thread
« Reply #16 on: October 13, 2007, 04:35:21 AM »
I know the feeling.  Life is...  Well, it just is, Man.  Know what I mean.  It...  just... is.
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Offline matsamu

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Re: the "too much free time" thread
« Reply #17 on: October 13, 2007, 10:52:29 AM »
Well, i myself am an actor, but we mostly keep our superstitions on the stage...if the name of the scottish play is mentioned by anyone onstage at our school, they are litterally mobbed. We take the belief very seriously. It makes my friend corey incredibly angry. he says we need to test the theory, but i say, "I don't want to die!" so yeah...that's that. Some say that the name can't be said during a show...like in between the dates of the auditions and the closing night, but i say pish...i won't say it the days the shows are, but hey...that's taht...

~Matsamu
*pop* That was my head. It just got blown.

Offline McWawa

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Re: the "too much free time" thread
« Reply #18 on: October 13, 2007, 12:26:42 PM »
I think what you need is pickle fork, or to adapt and become like as one.
There's a part of the fork which prevents it from getting stuck in a pickle.


bryan
"Do you not know, my son, with how little wisdom the world is governed?",
Axel Oxenstierna

Offline matsamu

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Re: the "too much free time" thread
« Reply #19 on: October 13, 2007, 01:06:09 PM »
Sorry...random post: which is kind of what this topic is all about isn't it...hmm...odd...anyway: if you like Nordic mythology, and humor, read this comic from the beginning!!!


http://www.graphicsmash.com//comics/brathalla.php?view=single&ID=11950

It's all about the nordic gods in their younger years. Absolutely hilarious...anyway...if it isn't funny at first (i'm not a big fan of the "first" comic) then keep reading. it gets much much much better. And read up on your nordic mythology. It's funny even if you don't know the characters, but still...it's beter to have some background on it...
*pop* That was my head. It just got blown.

Offline thatollie

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Re: the "too much free time" thread
« Reply #20 on: October 13, 2007, 01:26:34 PM »
I can barely e-dress myself.
Never make a decision standing up.

Offline thatollie

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Re: the "too much free time" thread
« Reply #21 on: October 22, 2007, 03:02:29 PM »
Damn it, I won't let this thread die.

Ode to the Pasty

Miner's pride
Cheapened by chav
Ginster's whore
I weep for thee
Never make a decision standing up.

Offline Wurdsmyth

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Re: the "too much free time" thread
« Reply #22 on: October 24, 2007, 09:16:38 AM »
Ode to the Traffic Cone (aka Colin)

Today, I woke up feeling blue
And stayed that way till nearly 2
When suddenly, outside my home
Appeared a little plastic cone
Called Colin

Don't ask me how I knew his name
Nor seek from whence my new friend came
For all I know is: he is here
And my sad thoughts have disappeared
Thanks, Colin!

Colin, I care not if you
Once lived on the M42
And, with your brothers, caused me pain
When roadworks made me late again
No, Colin!

For all that matters now is you;
O plastic friend of cheery hue,
My loneliness brought to an end
By my bright, happy orange friend:
My Colin!

_________________________________________

Remember, kids: A cone is for life; not just for Wednesdays  :D
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Offline Gyppo

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Re: the "too much free time" thread
« Reply #23 on: October 24, 2007, 02:52:48 PM »
A cheery little gem from our cheery little optimist ;-)

So that's what happened to Colin... The last time I saw him he was falling from the top of a police car at around 2am, whilst the driver and his mate were rapidly departing from one  venue in Southampton on theor way to 'quell a disturbance' at another.  I'm so glad he survived his rather abrupt removal from the roof as they squealed out of the carpark.

Gyppo
My website is currently having a holiday, but will return like the $6,000,000 man.  Bigger, stronger, etc.

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Offline Wurdsmyth

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Re: the "too much free time" thread
« Reply #24 on: October 25, 2007, 04:14:02 AM »
Aha, I thought there was something he wasn't telling me... Anyone know any good Cone Therapy courses? I think it might take some time to help Col get through this...

 :)
Need a dash of optimism or just a good read? Visit my blog at www.coffeeandroses.blogspot.com
I also have a swanky writing website - oh yes - and you're all invited! Pop over to www.miranda-dickinson.com
GREAT CHRISTMAS PRESSIE: My new novel, A Parcel for Anna Browne, is out now (PanMacmillan) :)

Offline Gyppo

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Re: the "too much free time" thread
« Reply #25 on: October 25, 2007, 09:22:46 AM »
No ideas about cone threrapy, but I suspect the poor thing's been living on the streets for some time now, with all the inevitable cultural isolation this brings.  If he's slipped into the company of bad cones during that time he'll need a lot of patient understanding.

Every cone has it's own story.  I know of two who were whisked away one dark and stormy night from their usual support group and travelled for several years with a knightly re-enactment troupe.  Sprayed silver they were forcibly mated with lengths of plastic plumbing and pressed into use as vamplates (handguards) on lances.

Can you begin to imagine the trauma these poor cones underwent?  Instead of standing in steadfast and mutually supportive rows with their mates alongside roadworks etc these two - reluctantly at first, but then with growing enthusiasm for their new lifestyle - thundered up and down the tilt several times a week in front of cheering crowds, guarding the mailed fists behind them.  Adrenaline junkie cones with little chance of ever returning to their previously sane and ordered existence.  I've no idea if they were ever released again into the wild, but, if so, how could such a cone ever again belong in normal cone society?  A new reflective plastic jacket may cover the surface abrasions, but who knows what long term damage lurks under that bright public face? 

So, the next time you see a demented cone merrily cartwheeling and dodging amongst fast moving motorway traffic, diving under the wheels of a lorry and emerging uncrushed, or somersaulting high over the head of a speeding motorcyclist, stop and think.  It may not be the wind which is moving it.  It may an Ex Show Cone, giving in to the adrenaline urge.  Or merely trying to jump aboard a passing horsebox in the hope of re-living the 'Glory Days'.

Colin may be far more disturbed than you realise...

Gyppo
My website is currently having a holiday, but will return like the $6,000,000 man.  Bigger, stronger, etc.

In the meantime, why not take pity on a starving author and visit my book sales page at http://stores.lulu.com/gyppo1

Offline Wurdsmyth

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Re: the "too much free time" thread
« Reply #26 on: October 25, 2007, 11:14:15 AM »
In which case, Gyppo, it's a good job he appeared outside my house.

Sometimes, even reformed ex-adrenaline junkie cones realise they need help...

Maybe Colin's past caught up with him and he jumped from a passing motorway maintenance truck in a desperate bid for freedom and peace, his world-weary eyes falling on the small sparkly house by the canal. Maybe this time, he thought to himself, as he flew through the air towards the red front door, at this very sparkly, optimistic-looking abode, I will find a loving, understanding, hopeless eternal optimist with a particular gift for attributing human characteristics to otherwise inanimate objects... I have one chance - my last chance - to live out my remaining days in peace and tranquility, watching crazy Brummies drifting slowly by on their gaudily-painted boats...

All I can say, Sir Gyppo of the Witty Comeback, is that I'm glad I could be there for Colin. And maybe there are others like him, who need my help... Maybe my small sparkly house will become a haven for reformed cones...  ;D

...And maybe I should stop procrastinating and try to write something instead!! ::)

Wurdsmyth xx ;)
« Last Edit: October 25, 2007, 11:16:35 AM by Wurdsmyth »
Need a dash of optimism or just a good read? Visit my blog at www.coffeeandroses.blogspot.com
I also have a swanky writing website - oh yes - and you're all invited! Pop over to www.miranda-dickinson.com
GREAT CHRISTMAS PRESSIE: My new novel, A Parcel for Anna Browne, is out now (PanMacmillan) :)

Offline hellbunnie

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Re: the "too much free time" thread
« Reply #27 on: October 25, 2007, 11:53:23 AM »
I confess that I am a stealer and abuser of Colin's brethren.

I was involved in a small incident of cone-trafficking, where I snatched 2 law-abiding cones from the streets and forced them into slavery as parameters for my sister to practice parallel parking.

Alas, the number of times they were pinned to the asphalt in the name of good driving!

Then they stayed in the garage aka my secret makeshift dungeon.  For two months. :-X

Offline Wurdsmyth

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Re: the "too much free time" thread
« Reply #28 on: October 26, 2007, 04:14:41 AM »
Well, hellbunnie, I think it's good that you finally confessed. After all, it's the first step to realising the misdemeanours of your youth...

But remember that cones are a strange breed - what we would perceive as cruel conditions our little orange friends see as fun - exciting, even. Think about it: we wouldn't be too chuffed about standing in the middle of the motorway in all weathers, facing the perils of dodgy drivers - but to a cone this is the way they fulfill their purpose in life.

They might have liked it in your garage. It might have been more homely for those cones than you realise. A bit of a holiday for them, even... So don't be too hard on yourself!  :D
Need a dash of optimism or just a good read? Visit my blog at www.coffeeandroses.blogspot.com
I also have a swanky writing website - oh yes - and you're all invited! Pop over to www.miranda-dickinson.com
GREAT CHRISTMAS PRESSIE: My new novel, A Parcel for Anna Browne, is out now (PanMacmillan) :)

Offline Mark H

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Re: the "too much free time" thread
« Reply #29 on: October 26, 2007, 04:33:19 AM »
In his Meditations on First Philosophy, René Descartes hypothesizes the existence of an evil genius, a personification who is "as clever and deceitful as he is powerful, who has directed his entire effort to misleading traffic cones". The evil genius presents a complete illusion of an external world, including other cones, to the traffic cone, where in fact there is no such external world in existence. The evil genius also presents to the cone a complete illusion of its own shape, including all cone-like sensations, where in fact the cone has no shape.
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