Author Topic: Drabbles  (Read 9484 times)

Offline Spell Chick

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Re: Drabbles
« Reply #15 on: November 04, 2007, 12:57:09 PM »
She invented a time machine and made her first stop in Victorian England. She loved reading about the romantic era and felt her visit would enhance her appreciation.

Instead of the fantasy of books, the reality of the age frightened her. She was a second class citizen, good only for life as a maid or a prostitute. Disease was rampant. Food was scarce.

The air was filled with smog. She labored to catch her breath while running back to her time machine. Reaching the glade where she had parked it, she found it destroyed by vandals; doomed to live there.
Little Bits of History A short essay on something that happened on any day.

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Offline naturewalker

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Re: Drabbles
« Reply #16 on: November 04, 2007, 01:14:09 PM »
He was Abdullah- carrying Ram's ashes to be submerged in the Ganges. His faith was shaken ... his life confused. How could there be rebirth? Allah doomed His subjects to eternal bliss or hell hereafter.

Ram had recalled minute details of his life as Rahim, his son in his last birth. Ram was Rahim... reborn. And death had snatched his son from him a second time.

Could he go on believing in the Almighty who could be so cruel?

He now understood God's word- " I am. One. For all. For Ram and for Rahim. Believe in Me".

Then... there was peace.
« Last Edit: November 04, 2007, 01:18:27 PM by naturewalker »
Success is not a matter of spontaneous combustion... one must deliberately set oneself on fire

Offline writersart

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Re: Drabbles
« Reply #17 on: November 04, 2007, 06:54:55 PM »
Quote
The air was filled with smog. She labored to catch her breath while running back to her time machine. Reaching the glade where she had parked it, she found it destroyed by vandals; doomed to live there.

Now this is a pretty pickle she's found herself in.  What do you think she did next, this woman who was smart enough to invent a time machine? The answer to that question might fill a whole book.  What do you think?

Drabbles can be thought of as seeds, too, I think.

Quote
Could he go on believing in the Almighty who could be so cruel?

He now understood God's word- " I am. One. For all. For Ram and for Rahim. Believe in Me".

Then... there was peace.

You have taken us into the realm of the infinite and the philosophical.  To me this drabble's story seems to have gone 180 degrees from doubt to re-affirmation of Abdullah's faith. Very polished. I believe you like this form of storytelling, and you're quite good at it.  Good enough to make me want to read something longer.

Offline naturewalker

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Re: Drabbles
« Reply #18 on: November 04, 2007, 10:24:41 PM »
Writestart,
Thanks for the reaffirmation! This is the plot of my book on which I 'stopped' working about six months ago due to self doubt!! The first draft is complete. Can I start to read it again for the editing?

I have been 'told' this might not interest publishers due to its religious overtones. I would like to very much see it in print- any suggestions?

Thanks again for the encouragement...
Success is not a matter of spontaneous combustion... one must deliberately set oneself on fire

Offline AJ Barnett

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Re: Drabbles
« Reply #19 on: November 06, 2007, 05:18:00 AM »
Naturewalker, in response to your request for my comments, I think your work is very polished and professional. If these two pieces are anything to go by, your longer work should be ready to submit to a publisher.

The second piece of work is excellent, and I can think of no reason to make comment, other than your writing is top-class.

I thought the first piece had the making of a full length novel (which is what I believe you intend) and the only minor down-comment I can make, is on the decriptive element. Please be careful of adverbs, adjectives etc. Descriptive words are fine in their place but too many can cause a reader to mistrust and even suspend disbelief in what the writer is saying. Try to avoid using two on the trot (broken, burning, metal) It would have been absolutely fine just to have said 'metal'. To add 'broken' is also fine, and gives greater depth to the work; to add 'burning' is over-the-top. I think you'll find most successful authors avoid such elements like the plague. The only place for 'purple' is in romance, and whilst there is nothing wrong with romance, in my opinion, your work is not of that category.

Please understand that this is only my view, and that some people would disagree, but I believe that in most cases, purple prose should be chucked away. Some of the finest work has contained no purple prose at all.

Hope this is what you wanted and hope it helps.
Anthony
Author of <a href="http://amzn.to/aoTuEI">SHORT MOMENTS</a> and <a href="http://amzn.to/92VNu3">WITHOUT REPROACH</a>

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Offline Christopher Silva

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Re: Drabbles
« Reply #20 on: November 06, 2007, 06:24:25 AM »
Scotty, brilliant!!!



Offline naturewalker

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Re: Drabbles
« Reply #21 on: November 06, 2007, 02:36:23 PM »
Thanks Anthony!

I shall seriously try and submit the work NOW...
The next biggie is to crack the querry letter!!!

Thanks again!
Success is not a matter of spontaneous combustion... one must deliberately set oneself on fire

Offline Spell Chick

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Re: Drabbles
« Reply #22 on: November 06, 2007, 02:52:37 PM »
Quote
Insert Quote
Quote
The air was filled with smog. She labored to catch her breath while running back to her time machine. Reaching the glade where she had parked it, she found it destroyed by vandals; doomed to live there.

Now this is a pretty pickle she's found herself in.  What do you think she did next, this woman who was smart enough to invent a time machine? The answer to that question might fill a whole book.  What do you think?

I think that I made that up in about ten minutes and have no idea what happened next. LOL I assume that she will eventually find parts, but I'm not sure about an energy source. Perhaps she can get it fixed and return home or go to some other exotic time and place.

Since I have the attention span of a gnat, I find essays and shorts much easier to deal with. I think I am supposed to want to write the Great American Novel, but frankly, I would rather read someone else's. I don't posess the fortitude to write an entire book. I admire those who do.
Little Bits of History A short essay on something that happened on any day.

Imperfect Reason My thoughts, such as they are.

Offline AJ Barnett

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Re: Drabbles
« Reply #23 on: November 07, 2007, 02:21:09 AM »
Naturewalker,
No problem. I wish you all the best with your book. Don't forget, editors at publishing houses are human. They might not accept your story merely because they had a bad night. Don't give up if the first one turns you away. I could paper a room with rejection slips from my early days.
Good luck - Anthony
Author of <a href="http://amzn.to/aoTuEI">SHORT MOMENTS</a> and <a href="http://amzn.to/92VNu3">WITHOUT REPROACH</a>

Articles
<a href="http://bit.ly/caC9MG">Publishing on Amazon Kindle</a>
<a href="http://bit.ly/hVXo91">Romantic Suspense</a>
<a href="http://bit.ly/9gWaZd">Dialogue in Writing</

Offline AJ Barnett

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Re: Drabbles
« Reply #24 on: November 07, 2007, 02:22:19 AM »
SpChick,
Then why not concentrate on short stories. My first novel failed, so I wrote nothing other than shorts, from 1994 until recently, (magazines, summer specials, competitions,  anthologies etc). If you get them published, the thrill is almost as great as getting a novel accepted, especially those first few; and if it fails, it hasn't taken as big a chunk out of your life.

Short story writing is also a great way to discipline yourself to write for a niche-market instead of self-indulgent writing. The bonus is that when you finally get around to a novel, publishers take you seriously if you have a track record.
Give it a try.  All the best - Anthony
Author of <a href="http://amzn.to/aoTuEI">SHORT MOMENTS</a> and <a href="http://amzn.to/92VNu3">WITHOUT REPROACH</a>

Articles
<a href="http://bit.ly/caC9MG">Publishing on Amazon Kindle</a>
<a href="http://bit.ly/hVXo91">Romantic Suspense</a>
<a href="http://bit.ly/9gWaZd">Dialogue in Writing</

Offline Christopher Silva

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Re: Drabbles
« Reply #25 on: November 07, 2007, 06:53:57 AM »
I agree 100%... I realized that I did not have the time to write a full novel but had tons of ideas and just could not stop writing.
I started writing shorts and sending them around and after a while they got picked up. I have even been able to make a little cash too.

chris

Offline Spell Chick

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Re: Drabbles
« Reply #26 on: November 07, 2007, 07:27:14 AM »
I would love to make a a liitle cash. Well, I'd love to make a lot of cash, but I would be willing to start out with a Little Bit.

I actaully HAVE a book written, it just isn't fiction. I have had it read by an actual Publishing Person and was told that it was a great concept and wonderfully written, but that she had no idea where to go to get the dang thing published. I've tried looking at a few places, but I'm not sure how to market myself and so here it sits.

Some day I will figure this all out.  ???

Patti
Little Bits of History A short essay on something that happened on any day.

Imperfect Reason My thoughts, such as they are.

Offline writersart

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Re: Drabbles
« Reply #27 on: November 07, 2007, 06:51:29 PM »
We're getting a little off topic here.  But understandable.  So while we're straying from the drabble path, I'd like to suggest that looking for an agent might be more valuable than trying to submit your work or to query all the possible publishers.

Another idea is that if you're going to self-submit, get access to some helpful tome like Writers' Market Place and hunt for the publishers who are open to unpublished writers and who accept spec manuscripts/and or manuscripts over the transom (i.e. submitted through the mail  by the author).

A third possibility is to go to the library, gather up a pile of magazines, and look for the editorial policies.  If you submit a spec or query letter, always try to address it to the correct editor.  Usually there are different editors to handle fiction versus articles.

Offline Christopher Silva

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Re: Drabbles
« Reply #28 on: November 08, 2007, 07:50:57 AM »
Writersart, so old fashioned… Though libraries are a wonderful resource, I think all those magazines you discussed have an on-line presence. And I have found I get a quick response when using e-mail rather to the possibility of ‘getting lost in the mail’ postal methodology. By the way, I know a couple of editors and pubs. Who use that excuse all the time, “I didn’t receive it, must have got lost in the archaic mail system.”  E-mails easy and so are a returned / read receipt.

Just my thoughts.  Now, back to drabble ………..

Offline Gyppo

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Re: Drabbles
« Reply #29 on: November 08, 2007, 04:25:55 PM »
Writersart, so old fashioned… Though libraries are a wonderful resource, I think all those magazines you discussed have an on-line presence. And I have found I get a quick response when using e-mail rather to the possibility of ‘getting lost in the mail’ postal methodology. By the way, I know a couple of editors and pubs. Who use that excuse all the time, “I didn’t receive it, must have got lost in the archaic mail system.”  E-mails easy and so are a returned / read receipt.

Just my thoughts.  Now, back to drabble ………..


But in a real world library you get to look at the pretty lasses as well, (under well established rules of people wathing/research),  and sometimes take one of them for a coffee or whatever ;-)  That never happens on line...

Gyppo
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