Author Topic: Is it just me?  (Read 2882 times)

Offline Faith1975

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Is it just me?
« on: August 09, 2007, 12:01:05 AM »
   Is it just me or does writer's block somehow have a cosmic link to food overindulgence? I am a pretty strong willed person, but many more episodes of writers block and I am afraid it will be time to buy new clothes. Am I the only one who has this issue? :-\
I have learned to cry when sad, laugh when happy and scream like a banshee when stressed. It helps. iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Nadine L

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Re: Is it just me?
« Reply #1 on: August 09, 2007, 01:19:36 AM »
Yep, it is just you.

(Oh, I'm kidding...who knows what the deal is with writer's block. If someone had the answer, they'd be rich by now.)

Nadine

Offline Gyppo

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Re: Is it just me?
« Reply #2 on: August 09, 2007, 01:41:07 AM »
   Is it just me or does writer's block somehow have a cosmic link to food overindulgence? I am a pretty strong willed person, but many more episodes of writers block and I am afraid it will be time to buy new clothes. Am I the only one who has this issue? :-\

a)  Become a full-time nudist, then the clothes are no longer a problem ;-)

b)  There are many possible causes for and solutions to writer's block, but there is only one guaranteed solution to 'writer's munchies'.  The 'barrier method'.  Take a six inch length of two inch wide duct tape...

Piercing a hole large enough for a straw is advisable in hot weather ;-)

Gyppo
My website is currently having a holiday, but will return like the $6,000,000 man.  Bigger, stronger, etc.

In the meantime, why not take pity on a starving author and visit my book sales page at http://stores.lulu.com/gyppo1

Offline fordy

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Re: Is it just me?
« Reply #3 on: August 09, 2007, 01:50:34 AM »
Writer's block is what you get when you are chocolate deprived.  I think.  I've conducted quite a few tests on the matter but they all seem are pretty inconclusive.  Guess I shall just have to keep trying.
If I always do what I always did, I'll always get what I always got.

Nadine L

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Re: Is it just me?
« Reply #4 on: August 09, 2007, 04:11:37 AM »
Oh wow, Fordy,

Do you need test subjects?

Seriously Faith, when I can't write, I go do something else or I probably would eat extra calories.

Nadine

Offline McWawa

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Re: Is it just me?
« Reply #5 on: August 09, 2007, 01:32:36 PM »
The proverbial laxative ! That's the answer.

Bryan
"Do you not know, my son, with how little wisdom the world is governed?",
Axel Oxenstierna

Offline fordy

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Re: Is it just me?
« Reply #6 on: August 09, 2007, 03:44:47 PM »
Oh wow, Fordy,

Do you need test subjects?

...

Nadine

Certainly Nadine.  The procedure is as follows:

1.  You MUST be suffering from writer's block (i.e. you must normally be able to write - non writers who just want to eat chocolate should not try this).

2.  Go to the shop and purchase your favourite chocolate bar (professional writers may go to the fridge and raid their normal stash)

3.  Break off ONE piece and place it on the tongue.  Leave it there for as long as possible (please try to exceed 5 seconds if possible)

4.  Write one hundred words to describe what the chocolate felt like as it rested on your tongue.  Did you feel the endorphins released into your blood stream?  Describe the agony of trying not to swallow the whole piece.  Use as much purple prose as you can.  Do not eat more chocolate until you have completed this task.

5.  Break off, and eat the second piece (please try to leave it in your mouth of at least 2 seconds).  Failed?  Ok, have the third piece.

4.  Now write a four line poem about chocolate (free verse will do; you don't want to waste time trying to think up suitable rhymes) - perhaps an eulogy to the anonymous inventor of chocolate - something to go on his (her?) tomb stone perhaps?  Do not eat more chocolate until you have completed this task.

5.  Now you can break off and eat the whole of the next row.  Savour it, drool if you must, but wipe the corners of your mouth; you don't want melted chocolate on your keyboard.

6.  Now imagine the antagonist in your novel; they are just about to kill (rob, bludgeon, yell, jump ... whatever) when they notice an opened bar of chocolate.  They become distracted and start eating the chocolate allowing the protagonist to gain the upper hand.  Write the scene (at least five hundred words).  Do not eat more chocolate until you have completed this task.

7.  Now you are well on your way.  Eat the remaining first half of the chocolate bar (you did get a big one didn't you?).  Imagine what life would be like without chocolate.

8.  Now write about you hero (heroine) trapped in the middle to the desert without even a square of chocolate in their pocket.  Its been five days ... in the blazing heat ... they have seen mirages of great pools of melted chocolate, chocolate pyramids, they are hallucinating about dying with their fingers only inches from a chocolate bar.  Come on you know you can do it, goodness you can imaging what it would be like, the agony of being trapped for days without chocolate ...

9.  Wow! That was probably the best bit of prose you have ever written!  You deserve a medal ... no ... you deserve the other half of the chocolate bar.  Go for it, don't hold back, it is what writers are made for.  Chocolate.

This experiment can be repeated as often as necessary.  My own experience seems to be suggesting that there may be diminishing returns - writer's block may return more frequently and the cure may need to be repeated more often, though I seem to be stabilising around three times a day before meals.  Your mileage may differ.
If I always do what I always did, I'll always get what I always got.

Nadine L

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Re: Is it just me?
« Reply #7 on: August 11, 2007, 01:18:29 AM »
Faith,

Might consider Fordy's method of treatment. Let us know how it works for you.

Nadine

Offline Symphony

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Re: Is it just me?
« Reply #8 on: August 11, 2007, 05:53:57 AM »
According to Colin Dexter (BBC Radio 4 the other day), all you need is pen in one hand and a very large glass of single malt in the other.

Unfortunately, I don't like whisky so I'm going to go with you guys. Chocolate is good!

But on the other hand ... whilst my circumference has increased by several book sizes, my own novel is still rather anorexic so methinks I might have to find an alternative. I've tried wine but I keep falling asleep. Perhaps a wee cognac might do the trick.

If only I could gets my hands on a spoonful of poteen - does wonders for storytelling ...

Symphony
xx

Offline Spike_Raziel

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Re: Is it just me?
« Reply #9 on: August 11, 2007, 06:53:55 AM »
Hmmm, writers block. i call friends. or just watch the Simpsons. both are good.
Reality is a dream. The question is, who is dreaming and what happens when they wake up?

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Offline Gyppo

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Re: Is it just me?
« Reply #10 on: August 11, 2007, 10:09:31 AM »

If only I could gets my hands on a spoonful of poteen - does wonders for storytelling ...


Story*telling*, yes.  But once the keys start doing their random relocation trick beneath your fingers, or you find yourself unable to decide which of the three pens to apply to any one of the multitude of pads swirling before your eyes effective writing is a thing of the past.  Here's a tale from a day when inspiration - or seemingly good ideas anyway - was flowing freely, but I couldn't have written a word to save my life.  (Fortunately, alcohol never blanked my memory.)

A friend and I once shared the last half pint of some incredibly potent homebrewed ale whilst sat in the garden one long ago summer.  (Bear in mind that we both in our late twenties and considered ourselves to be - normally - quite mighty drinkers.  Quarter of a pint each wasn't gping to do anything to *us*, was it?)

Never had my friends stories seemed so funny, and apparently my own words were equally hilarious.  He was telling me a rather gruesome tale about a workmate who had managed to get a fine chisel stuck through his hand and for some reason it seemed screamingly funny.  He kept telling me 'It wasn't funny' but he was semi-convulsed himself by then.   It was only later that I realised falling out of the chair as he demonstrated the accident with much arm waving and cursing wasn't part of the tale.

I vaguely recall getting to my own feet - although knees would probably be more accurate - and attempting to get him back into his chair before his Missus came home from shopping.  I don't know why it became so important, but after the first failed attempt it became an obsession.  I nearly managed it, but each time he slumped and just lay there giggling, which did nothing to alleviate my own merriment at his plight.  And frustration at his drunken inability to co-operate.

I crawled down his garden - by God it was a long way -  and came back with a scaffolding plank intending to 'Use Physics, Old Chap' to get him back into his chair.  My plan, such as it was, was to lever him off the ground and swing him into his chair.  (Look, it made sense at the time...)

For a pivot I had to use my own chair.  I rolled him onto the canted plank to cries of "Are you sure this is a good idea?" and then tried to lever the other end down.  Back then I was built like a whippet (six feet and 9 stone) and my mate was about four stone heavier, so it was never going to be a very fruitfull exercise.

I eventually got him to sit - perhaps slump would be more honest - 'sidesaddle' on his end of the plank and rearranged the pivot so I had a longer lever to work with.  The analytical side of my brain was still working fine at this point and I figured he would be able to stagger into his chair when I lifted his arse high enough.

I couldn't walk up the steeply canted plank so I cunningly approached it from underneath, and hung below it, arms and legs wrapped tightly around it like a monkey on a stick, and felt myself sinking towards the ground as my mate rose about two feet off the ground and then fell off sideways.

My end of the plank smacked me one across the forehead as it hit the ground, the pivot/chair slid out from underneath, and after rearing skywards and looking absolutely huge against the sky the other end slammed back down and smacked my mate in the bollocks.

And that was how his wife found us.  My mate curled in a ball, cluching his groin but still giggling uncontrollably, and me semi-stunned with a fresh red bruise on my forehead, also giggling.

After ascertaining that neither of us was seriously injured she went back indoors and made us coffee.  Whilst doing so she came to the conclusion that I must have hit her husband in the bollocks for some reason and he had then retaliated by smacking me one with the plank.  When we eventually calmed down enough to explain things she started laughing like one of those 'laughing bag' toys and set us off all over again.

So, whilst alcohol can provoke all kinds of things, and a good memory will recall most of them, there was no way I could have written about it whilst still under the afluence of incohol.

Gyppo

(I think I shall copy this across as a 'MAY AMUSE' tale for the coffee shop)
« Last Edit: August 11, 2007, 10:22:47 AM by Gyppo »
My website is currently having a holiday, but will return like the $6,000,000 man.  Bigger, stronger, etc.

In the meantime, why not take pity on a starving author and visit my book sales page at http://stores.lulu.com/gyppo1

Offline McWawa

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Re: Is it just me?
« Reply #11 on: August 11, 2007, 03:36:13 PM »

If only I could gets my hands on a spoonful of poteen - does wonders for storytelling ...

Symphony
xx

You can get it online , but You can't download it till it arrives in the post ! or other suitable container.
 I'd paste a hyperlink but this website is also for the folk who are under the age of consumption, or can't some such thing like  that , and advertising sources of said stuff here would infringe numerous rules and regs. regarding websites accessible to  teens and under. But i might be able to tell you about the knockeen Hills maybe ?

Bryan

« Last Edit: August 11, 2007, 03:37:56 PM by YelnickMcWawa »
"Do you not know, my son, with how little wisdom the world is governed?",
Axel Oxenstierna

Offline Faith1975

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Re: Is it just me?
« Reply #12 on: August 14, 2007, 12:09:47 AM »
Faith,

Might consider Fordy's method of treatment. Let us know how it works for you.

Nadine

I have decided Fordy is a genius and a heck of a good person as well. 
I have a new routine of pacing when I have writers block.  Of course I do this with a five foot snake wrapped around my wrist.  I think the snake is now wishing I have writer's block because she receives so much extra attention...Silly question though, what is poteen.  It's late and perhaps I didn't read the post carefully enough so I am sorry for my ignorance.
I have learned to cry when sad, laugh when happy and scream like a banshee when stressed. It helps. iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Offline thatollie

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Re: Is it just me?
« Reply #13 on: August 14, 2007, 12:39:29 AM »
An Irish Grain Spirit
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