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The Coffee Shop / Re: The MWC Bar/Red Barren Bar
« Last post by JTetstone on February 20, 2021, 11:09:46 PM »
There is no bartender here. There is no bar. We've been over this and don't pretend you aren't reading this. I know you are.

Here we go again....   ::) Do you have nothing else to do, besides visit a cyber bar you claim is not here ???  Where is the logic in that ???
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The Coffee Shop / Re: The MWC Bar/Red Barren Bar
« Last post by Noizchild on February 20, 2021, 09:30:06 PM »
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCE4VWKY5YI

Happy 72nd Birthday  to me....Bartender give everyone a beer...... ;D

There is no bartender here. There is no bar. We've been over this and don't pretend you aren't reading this. I know you are.
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The Coffee Shop / Re: The MWC Bar/Red Barren Bar
« Last post by JTetstone on February 20, 2021, 12:08:44 AM »
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCE4VWKY5YI

Happy 72nd Birthday  to me....Bartender give everyone a beer...... ;D
74
Review My Poetry / Ecstasy at Table Seven (my first poem on here)
« Last post by mefisher on February 19, 2021, 08:52:37 PM »
Hello everyone!! This is my first time posting my work on here and I'd love some honest feedback on it. I know the rhyme scheme/meter is a bit wonky, so if you have better suggestions please please please let me know! I give you full permission to tell me it's straight garbage if that's how you feel. Thank you!


Ecstasy at Table Seven


The neon beams piercing.
The fruity fumes puncture.

There’s not one but two
and ask myself “who are you?”

Head thrown back to ninety,
salt imbedded every crease.

Glitter descends the head,
strangers asking me to wed.

The rhapsody of noise,
vibrations quicken my feet.

Transporting me into heaven,
aura pulled straight from table seven.

Leave me in euphoria,
as my troubles slink away.

Where my paradise ain’t lost,
meanwhile my fingers stay crossed.

Chewing through wool,
my tongues’ all tacky.

Then Adam asked Eve,
what could possibly make them grieve?

Contagious frenzy all surrounds,
energy transferred from 7 days a week.

Exalted trance will set me free,
I wanted to believe, you see

The speak comes easy,
the dance stays flow.

Do not ever leave me here.
Please never let me go.

The lotus eater seduces,
and the serpent slithers.

Oh, sweet holy fruit of passion,
why do I have to ration?

The bad beats the good,
and I’m crawling back.

The sun beats the gun,
and time stops for no one.

Moans and groans freshen the music,
sticky floor unemptied.

Oh, sweet table seven you never fail me.
My own sacred tree you’ll always be.
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Review My Poetry / Re: Felines frolic in a fanciful frame...
« Last post by crch on February 19, 2021, 05:24:17 PM »
More fun for someone to read it!
Really, they just happen.  Now, I get to go back and flesh them out.
You are the first to help. 
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Review My Poetry / Re: Felines frolic in a fanciful frame...
« Last post by Royal Thorn 78 on February 19, 2021, 05:17:22 PM »
This must have been fun to write.   8)
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Review My Poetry / Re: Shattered glass
« Last post by Royal Thorn 78 on February 19, 2021, 05:09:16 PM »
I like this as song lyrics -- the diction has an easy movement, and the singer may finesse or sing through an erratic cadence.  For poetry, however, end-rhyme should get added only after the meter is set.  Additionally, a poem should not show the reader how the writer grasped for the rhymes.  As an example of rolling cadence and unforced rhyme, Tennyson is always a good start:

https://interestingliterature.com/2017/07/a-short-analysis-of-tennysons-crossing-the-bar/
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Review My Poetry / Re: Felines frolic in a fanciful frame...
« Last post by crch on February 19, 2021, 05:05:19 PM »
Hurray!!!

...had to look up elocution!
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Review My Poetry / Re: Felines frolic in a fanciful frame...
« Last post by Royal Thorn 78 on February 19, 2021, 05:01:02 PM »

What the "F"?  ;D ;D ;D

This is a delightful writing exercise -- you execute it well.
I like the cadence for this -- in most parts it is easy to read aloud.

It has the feeling of an elocution warm up. 
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Review My Poetry / Re: Purity
« Last post by Royal Thorn 78 on February 19, 2021, 04:50:27 PM »
 8)
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