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Review My Work / Re: Hunting for an agent (1507 words) - historical fiction
« Last post by landmersm on May 21, 2019, 10:48:05 PM »
Only 5 rejections?

Rookie  ;D ;D ;D ;D

Seriously. Get ready for a lot of rejections, unless you're one of the few lucky ones. . . . .

(I'm commenting on your first post.)

There's nothing wrong with your prose. It's actually very strong. My advice is to nix the first sentence. It's not something to start with. It does not fit at all with the rest of what you've written. Seriously. Delete that thing!

Honestly, I didn't get interested until I hit the paragraph with
Camille, a free woman of mixed African and European heritage, came from a long line of Central African healers.
  Now, THAT is a sentence to grab a reader's attention!

Best of luck!
All the Write Questions / Re: How to Write Realistic Dialogue
« Last post by heartsongjt on May 21, 2019, 10:47:13 PM »
This is a very good video.   jt

10 Tips On Writing Better Dialogue

Published on Jul 3, 2018
In this Film Courage video series, several screenwriters and authors share their tips for writing better dialogue.
The Gallery / Re: The Flat Sandwich (Part 1)
« Last post by heartsongjt on May 21, 2019, 09:06:07 PM »
You Welcome...
Writing for me has always been an outlet for my most inner thoughts... I begin writing poems  about my feelings in 1973.Looking back through my poetry diary- I get a clearer picture of how my life was, and how it could have been; I  hope you will continue writing...Even fiction has much about the writer intertwined in the story. Like you I seek only to express myself through writing.
The Gallery / Re: The Flat Sandwich (Part 1)
« Last post by Contrapasso on May 21, 2019, 08:54:21 PM »
Thanks Jan.

I remove a lot of submission because, frankly, I question my sanity, and the worth of my posts.
Unlike most writers, I don't seek to be published, or desire for success.

I wrote a short and posted here, about a man who thought his nose was a penis, and deleted it because of mores, and shame.

But, that's what I hope to overcome, that writing might be an overcoming of established culture; an embrace of the unusual and the peculiarities of the human condition; the vagaries of thought.

It's only in sharing the absurdity of existence we find collective meaning.

Thanks kindly for your support 
The Gallery / Re: The Flat Sandwich (Part 1)
« Last post by heartsongjt on May 21, 2019, 06:33:32 PM »
It's  good seeing you post here again. Always, the best of luck with your writing.
The Gallery / The Flat Sandwich (Part 1)
« Last post by Contrapasso on May 21, 2019, 06:05:14 PM »
A man seated in the corner of a popular deli was causing quite a disturbance—he was crying over his ham lettuce sandwich. Holding the sandwich with both hands, and with fixed eyes as if detesting the sight of it, he took another large bite.

“Oh, this is rich!” he sputtered, breadcrumbs shooting forth from his masticating mouth.

He reached for a mustard squeezy and, as if desiring to bury what remained, completely covered the top of his sandwich, then, continued squeezing. By now he had captured the attention of the crowded deli, who gasped as he sunk his teeth into the pulpy mass.

“That’s enough!” barked the deli worker, removing his apron and working his way around the counter. He waved in apology to the customers transfixed by the unfolding scene.

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave—”

“Oh!” said the man, pushing his plate away in disgust. He wiped the mustard off his face with the sleeve of his jacket. “I can’t taste anything.”

Clearing the table, the worker ushered him on with a wave of his hand.

Gathering his satchel and coat, and seeing the disturbance he had caused, the man repeated, dejectedly as if by explanation, “It’s no use; I can’t taste a thing.”

Outside, the midsummer sun beat down on the busy main street. According to the local weather report the temperature was in the high eighties, but the man could feel no warmth. In fact, he could feel very little sensation at all. Several times, he had pricked himself with the pin of his employee’s badge, only to feel the spread of a dull toothache pain—a dead signal transmitted from some faraway place.

The man’s name was Clarence Ascomati; and, he had spent the entire morning examining this distressing condition. He recalled the flat tasteless texture of toothpaste during his morning ablutions; the distant gossamer-like touch of wet tissue paper, as he splashed his face forcefully in increasing fits of panic. He was certain, then, he was experiencing a false awakening.

“I'll go back to bed,” he thought, pinching his eyes, “any moment now, I’ll wake up.”

But it was no use. His consciousness, heady and faint, remained fixed.

Overhead, the white popcorn ceiling swirled in a vertiginous dance; unsubstantial and illusory. He tried closing his eyes, believing if he slept in a dream, he could awake from this feeble hold into reality, as a wall of vibrant geometric colours burst forth in interpolating and cascading forms.

He sat up with a start, recalling that he had eaten psychedelic mushrooms night before; their taste rank with septage ooze, their bodies twisted and alien. How foul they tasted! Yet, he’d eaten them by the handful. Why? He could not remember—only that he had.
Review My Poetry / Re: Isle of Pines
« Last post by indar on May 21, 2019, 03:44:13 PM »
Thank you dlp
Review My Poetry / Re: Meditation
« Last post by indar on May 21, 2019, 03:41:37 PM »
n the satiric novel Good as Gold by Joseph Heller, the question is asked: what are the two sides of a triangle?

I like this geometric writing and the end line swerve packs impact. 

Hey Mark,

I missed your comment at the beginning of the responses on this thread--hope you get back to it as I have a profound answer; The two sides are the ones you can slide down they rest on something entirely different--the base
Welcome Board - START HERE! / Re: Hi all I'm new
« Last post by heartsongjt on May 21, 2019, 03:32:24 PM »
Hello and Welcome to MWC.
All the Write Questions / Re: Plot development freeze
« Last post by heartsongjt on May 21, 2019, 03:30:46 PM »
Hope this helps.....  jt

Plot Structure in Fiction

1. What Is Plot? Conflict Plot Structure Timing and Pacing Flashback Flash-Forward Foreshadowing Practice Feature Menu

 2.  What Is Plot? Plot is the series of related events that make up a story or drama. • Like links in a chain, each event hooks our curiosity and pulls us forward to the next event.

 3.  Conflict Conflict is the struggle or clash between opposing characters or forces. Conflicts may be external: firefighter vs. fire internal: firefighter vs. his or her fear or

 4.  Conflict An external conflict may be a struggle between • two characters • a character and a group • a character and something nonhuman

 5.  Conflict An internal conflict is a struggle that takes place within a character’s mind or heart. • Characters struggle with themselves to make decisions.

 6.  Is this an external or internal conflict? Conflict Quick Check Rainsford knew he could do one of two things. He could stay where he was and wait. That was suicide. He could flee. That was postponing the inevitable. For a moment he stood there, thinking. An idea that held a wild chance came to him, and, tightening his belt, he headed away from the swamp. from “The Most Dangerous Game” by Richard Connell

 7.  Plot Structure Plots are usually built in five major parts. Beginning of Story/Exposition Climax Resolution Rising Action Falling Action

 8.  Plot Structure • opening of the story 1 Basic situation, or exposition • characters and their conflicts are introduced Paul wants to go to an out-of-state university, but his family can only afford to pay the tuition at a local college.

 9.  Plot Structure 2 Rising Action • The main character takes action but encounters more problems or complications. Paul goes to work on a nearby farm to earn extra money. There, he meets Miranda, and the two start dating.

 10.  Plot Structure 3 Climax • key scene in the story—the most tense, exciting, or terrifying moment • reveals the outcome of the conflict Paul and Miranda argue about his leaving for university. Paul must choose to stay or go.

 11.  Plot Structure 4 Resolution, or denouement • final part of the story • the conflict is resolved Paul decides to leave for university. Miranda makes plans to visit him and wishes him well.

 12.  Timing and Pacing The plot of a story is framed by a time span that suits the writer’s purpose. minutes hours days weeks years

 13.  Timing and Pacing Most stories are told in chronological order, the order in which events unfold in real time. First Second Third Last

 14.  Timing and Pacing Sometimes, writers might manipulate time to control our emotions. They might • slow down time to emphasize a moment of danger • speed up time to skip over events that don’t move the story along

 15.  Flashback Flashback—a scene that interrupts the present action of the plot to flash backward and tell what happened at an earlier time. Flashbacks can Past • provide background information • strengthen our understanding of a character Present 

 16.  Flash-Forward Flash-Forward—a scene that interrupts the present action of the plot to shift into the future. Future Present • Flash-forwards can create dramatic irony. The readers know what will happen in the future, but the characters don’t. 

 17.  Foreshadowing Foreshadowing is the use of clues to hint at events that will occur later in the plot. • Foreshadowing can make a story more exciting by increasing suspense.

 18.  Choose a children’s story or fairy tale that is familiar to you. Practice • Draw a plot diagram like the one shown here. • Add labels describing the key parts of the story’s plot. • Use your imagination to write a flashback that could occur in one part of the story.

 19.  THE END
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