Recent Posts

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Welcome Board - START HERE! / Re: Beta readers
« Last post by Olesia on July 31, 2020, 09:49:19 AM »
Hi vinquita

Welcome to My Writers Circle, we’re happy to have you as part of the community!

You'll find that there are plenty of members here to help you with your writing, as part of the rules of this community we ask that you first review and offer feedback on others work before asking for help, it's a give and take kind of lifestyle here   ;)

There aren’t a lot of rules here as we want to give everyone creative freedom, we ask that you respect fellow community members and help us maintain a friendly place.

Start by checking out the different threads, you’ll find Sticky topics at the top of each one which shares a bit about the thread and the purpose it serves, try to use the relevant thread for your topics and if you can’t find one shoot us a PM so we can help!

One rule often missed by new members is the 2000 max word count for posts in Review My Work, 1500 max for posts in Review My Script and 100 lines in Review My Poetry. A reasonable limit considering critiques are often quite detailed. You will gain valuable feedback more easily digested in bite-sized chunks.

Please Take Note: With the exception of The Gallery, any work posted in the prose or poetry boards is subject to review by fellow members. You may find some critiques to be worthwhile. Some you may feel do not fit your work. Virtually all are an honest effort to help you improve your writing. Take what you find useful and disregard the rest. This is how we learn our craft.

As a newbie to MWC, you will not be able to edit your posts until you have reached the 50-post milestone. Should be easy, especially if you spend some time on the Games thread. It will also improve your vocabulary and hopefully bring on a few laughs. Have fun.

The moderators are easy to spot due to all the blue stars floating above our heads. If you have a problem, we are happy to help. Just click on the private message (PM) icon of any moderator and send along your question or problem.

Once again welcome to MWC!
12
Welcome Board - START HERE! / Beta readers
« Last post by vinquita on July 31, 2020, 06:41:08 AM »
Hello Everybody!

I'm a new entrant to the world of fiction- writing.
I have just completed my first novel (a sort of adventure-thriller-love story) and am seeking beta readers.
If anyone can help, I'd be most grateful.
Needless to say, I'm more than happy to reciprocate.
Best wishes

Vinquita
13
The Gallery / Re: Terri or Terry Schiavo-my writing project
« Last post by JTetstone on July 30, 2020, 09:16:26 AM »
For those searching for more information about the Terry Schiavo case.  jt
https://thespiritwithinpoetry.com/terri_the_real_truth.html
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Review My Work / Re: Co:ExisT ( Chapter-01)
« Last post by PIJ1951 on July 28, 2020, 07:05:12 AM »
I'm afraid your revised opening is no better than the original.

Quote
Cheerful laughter filled the atmosphere.
An atmosphere can be filled with laughter - but the way you express this here is very clunky. Maybe what you mean is that laughter filled the room.

Quote
There was a crowd of over a hundred people; each with unique clothes and looks.
I'm not sure why it matters that every person looked and dressed differently. What image are you trying to create?

Quote
A man entered that magnificent room- filled with decorations- and walked toward the center. His name was John and he was the heart of the party.
Was the man filled with decorations? That's how this reads. And what is 'the heart of the party'? The expression makes no sense.

Quote
It wasn’t easy for John to navigate within the ballroom, as it was too crowded despite the room being so large. As he reached the center stage, the intensity of sound became louder.
He didn't navigate 'within' the room - he navigated the room - but you make it sound as if he was in some kind of vehicle. And the sound got louder or more intense - intensity cannot become louder as it's a measure of intensity not sound.

Why not simply write 'The sound of chatter grew louder as John entered the ballroom and made his way to centre stage'? The rest of your opening paragraph is a mess, I'm afraid, and can be safely disposed of.

I could break down every single paragraph and point out the faults but life's too short. As it stands, this is unreadable.
You have a very disjointed, robotic way of writing. I'm guessing English is not your first language so I wonder why you took on such an ambitious task.
If you are writing for your own pleasure, I guess there's no harm done. But sharing it in a public forum makes your project appear doomed to failure.
Read! Read! Read! That's the only way you will learn how to express yourself clearly and concisely.
15
All the Write Questions / Re: Should I write these scenes?
« Last post by PIJ1951 on July 28, 2020, 06:37:33 AM »
Have you read 'Dune' by Frank Herbert? I seem to recall there were 5 sequels which made LOR look like a novella.

My advice, don't try to second guess what potential readers might want or not want to read. If the detail is necessary for the sake of plot cohesion or character development then include it. But be wary of making it seem as if you're instructing the reader rather than getting on with telling your story.
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Writers Wanted! / Re: Bloggers, your Comments & Replies are Welcome!
« Last post by HPvD on July 28, 2020, 02:43:11 AM »
Thanks for your Reply,

In the Side Bars or my Blogs you will discover a
Most Popular Posts-list.

To instantly see the Most Popular Topics,
you can Comment on.
 
17
All the Write Questions / Should I write these scenes?
« Last post by Andrew0074 on July 27, 2020, 01:37:50 PM »
More importantly, would you read them?
เว็บคาสิโนออนไลน์ UFA800
A little detail... I am writing a science fiction novel. It's not hard sci fi - there is very little techinical description, and it is character-driven. I'm not even sure if most people would class it as sci fi, or as another genre that just happens to be set in space. For arguments' sake, let's call it space opera.

Okay, that's established. Now to the point -- I have this character who enters the story in rather a state. As in, he is dying. He is saved by my other lead.

I have written a rather long and somewhat involved description of how she does that - which is what I'm now questioning. Is it necessary to be quite as detailed? Should I cut it down and then have Ella explain to Corin how bad he was? I'm also wondering whether it's necessary to go into his recovery or skim over that.

What I need to know is whether the kind of people that would pick up a sci fi book would want to read the details or if they would just skip to the action. I mean, this novel is epic and involved and detailed... sort of on a scale like Lord of the Rings. It's not something I've seen done in sci fi. Though I'll be glad if someone pulls me up on that, because then I'd know if there's actually a market for this thing LOL.
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Review My Work / Re: Co:ExisT ( Chapter-01)
« Last post by JTetstone on July 26, 2020, 12:19:59 PM »
Good luck with your writing. jt
19
Review My Work / Re: Co:ExisT ( Chapter-01)
« Last post by Yet EU on July 26, 2020, 07:30:45 AM »
Thanks Jt. I appreciate your help.
20
Review My Work / Co:ExisT ( Chapter-01)
« Last post by Yet EU on July 26, 2020, 07:29:26 AM »

Cheerful laughter filled the atmosphere. There was a crowd of over a hundred people; each with unique clothes and looks. A man entered that magnificent room- filled with decorations- and walked toward the center. His name was John and he was the heart of the party. It wasn’t easy for John to navigate within the ballroom, as it was too crowded despite the room being so large. As he reached the center stage, the intensity of sound became louder.
It was a party in a ballroom of a country ruled by beings who were not humans. However, humans were present there as many other races. Even kings were there. That particular party was to celebrate John’s great accomplishments as he was that world’s savior.
“I heard he’s going back,” A man with long pointy ears said in an elegant voice.
“We don’t know that yet,” A man said from behind.
“Both of you quiet down. I think he’s going to say something…” A man with horns said.
With the idle chatter escalating John tried to quiet everyone down. He was not much of a public speaker. “Why did it have to be so many people? Damn you Cicil, you always find the weirdest ways to make me feel paranoid,” John thought.
“Welcome everyone. It’s been almost two years since I first came to this world. Today is a day for celebration but I also have an important announcement,”
Before John could say anything else, he was approached by a beautiful human lady clad in a bright pink dress that was overflowing on the shiny marble floor.
“Before anything else, we must first congratulate you, John. You have saved us again and again. It would be a shame to not grant you the glory you deserve,” Said the lady in a polished tone.
Wow! She still lacks proper humor huh?” John thought.
“You honor me, princess Lia…” John said bending his knees on the floor.
 “Is it true that you plan to return home today?”
Where the hell did you learn that from?”
“Ye-yes,”
The room became silent. The joy from the air vanished. The balsamic scent in the air became stagnant. However, some part of them knew that this was coming and John would return home one day. 
John was not from that world. The place John was from is called earth. There were no mythical beings or magic on earth. Rather earth had sophisticated technology instead.
“Will you really leave John?” The princess said as she appeared sad.
“You of all people should know that I must,”
“I know that, but…”
In the meantime, a man clad in dark approached the duo. He was fully covered in a mist over his clothes. He was none other than one of John’s best friends and a partner in John's naughty businesses.
“Don’t worry mate, I’ll take care of the ladies for ya.” The man in black exclaimed with a perverse tone while patting John on the back.
Behind that man were four more distinct people. They were different from the rest of the guests; they were John’s companions and friends.
“I think they’d neuter you soon if you keep that up, Mirage. We all know how many times you’ve been caught visiting the women’s bath!” John immediately replied.
“Wouldn’t that be you? Besides, I don’t think anyone has the balls to do that,” Mirage confidently said.
"Sometimes really feel like
punching this guy, " John thought.
“I don’t have balls but I’m pretty sure I can crush yours,” A young voice protested. She had tanned skin and a fine physique.
“Please honey, don’t say that. I’ll get nightmares,” Mirage with a nervous tone replied.
People there laughed. The tension in the air was somewhat lifted but princess Lia stayed quite. She couldn’t say anything.
“I think I’ll miss you, John, but definitely not enough to sob,” said one of the four. She had ashen skin and two distinctive horns. She was a demon.
 You got that right. Who would miss that closet pervert, John?” Said young girl who was yet again another one of John’s comrades. She was the youngest in the group and had silver hair and silver-colored eyes.
“My point exactly,”
“Oh come on! At least let me set off with a smile.” John replied unwillingly.
“I am smiling you know. Hahaha”
“I wouldn’t call that laughter!
“You definitely deserve that one, John. However I think you’re more of an open pervert than a closet one or more likely an idiot,” Answered, a good looking young man, and apart from John, he was the only human in the group. He had quite a muscular build. Although young; he was actually a bit older than John.
Aren’t both those terms just as bad?” John stared at the man with a dull look.
The situation was getting awkward. But at that time a glowing circle appeared out of thin air. People made space around that circle. a beautiful woman emerged from there. She had two elegant long ears and a robe worthy of being worn, by empresses. Yes, she was an elf.
“It is good to see you again, John. I trust you have already said your farewells?”
“It is always a pleasure to meet you, your Excellency. In fact, you wouldn’t believe how happy I am!” John said as he was smiling, but while looking at her bosom.
“I totally agree,” Mirage replied while doing the same thing.
“Both of you idiots shut up!” the young girl exclaimed with intent.
 “HHahaha. Yes, your excellency, I am ready,”
“Very well. Make way for the mages,”
It was already crowded yet some more people came inside. However, nobody seemed to be concerned about it. These people began to say words in unison and beneath John’s feet, a glowing circle appeared. John started to bid his goodbyes.
“You shall always be our friend John,” A man said. He was an elf.
“Please take care of yourself,” Another man said. He was shorter and fatter than the rest.
“You have freed us from despair and have given us a place and purpose in this world. We shall be forever in your debt John,” A demon said.
“You have our deepest gratitude, John. You have not only given us a place in society but also have granted us sovereignty,” A human with goat ears said with great passion.
“Thank you, everyone. It was a roller coaster of a ride for me. But I really am grateful to have been here. Thank you, my friends, and everyone here. Alas! It is time for me to head home,” John said and at the same time, he thought, “And for those who didn’t make it; thank you as well. I’ll forever remember you guys in my heart. Sigh*”
Finally, Lia spoke; she had to.
“I’ll forever remember you, John… Please don’t forget about me.”
“I could never forget you, Lia,” With a soft voice, John replied.
“I still don’t understand what a roller coaster is!” John’s demon companion exclaimed.
“Don’t chase girls all the time, okay? “ Said the young girl.
“I don’t think that’s possible for him.”
“Yeah, it would be impossible for him.” Said the muscular man.
“I don’t see any problem with that. “ Mirage supported John.
“That’s because you’re an idiot.”

Everybody started to bid farewell to John. Some were crying, some were forcing a smile; however, all of them were truly grateful to him.
“Farewell John…” Lia said as tears streamed down her face.
Surprised as he was, John didn’t say anything. As John’s body started to disperse everyone started praying for his safe journey.
I’m sorry to make this a silent goodbye but saying something now would only deepen your grief. Forgive me,” John thought as a single drop of tear dropped from one of his eyes.
Seeing only a shimmer of light John slowly opened his eyes only to find himself in hospital, in a single room separated from the main ward. It was awfully hot. The air was humid and smelled like medicines. He could barely move. The air-conditioner was loud, but not that annoying.  There was also a ceiling fan. “Why is there such an antique piece here?” John thought as he looked around. Within a minute he noticed that he was not alone in that room. Next to him was an unknown girl. She was stunned seeing John awaken.
“It…..it’s a miracle….yeah!” The girl said.
The girl quickly ran outside and called the doctors. At first, the doctors couldn’t believe it; as this really was no short of a miracle. For some reason, a lot of doctors and a lot of nurses came into John’s room. All of them were overjoyed to see John’s recovery. However, his family hadn’t arrived yet. John was greatly overwhelmed for he did not know why he was hospitalized and above all the overenthusiasm of the doctors and the nurses; made him feel even more confused. Soon he realized that he had been asleep for almost two years. “A two-year-long coma!?”
It was one of the greatest shocks of his life. He also soon understood that the girl next to him was his brother’s fiancée. However, the first thought that came to his mind was, “How in the world did he manage to convince such a beauty!?” Though the shock was great, soon it hit him. “What about Entrock? What about my friends in Entrock? What about my journey? Was everything only a dream?”
The doctors explained that John was way too stressed about his life and ultimately unhappy. But just that wasn’t enough to cause coma and even John knew that. Why he went into a coma was a mystery to the doctors too. Even after several tests, they couldn’t find any underlying diseases or causes. 
However, the doctors did say that his brain used to sleep to fantasize and create an adventure for him by inducing him in a coma. As his dream ended so did his coma. The human brain is a powerful organ thus that hypothesis wasn’t entirely implausible.
Even so, it was unbelievable, for him. “All these memories, friends, hardships deaths were a mere dream? I don’t believe you!” John flat out rejected the concept that the doctors had presented. Even the doctors themselves weren’t fully convinced either; thus John wasn’t totally wrong to do so either.
The doctors went away for the time being so that John would calm down. His brother’s fiancée didn’t know how to react in such a situation. She sat beside John and tried to calm him down. As shocked as John was, he didn’t create a scene; he focused on his memories and tried to figure out whether they were dreams or not. Soon John’s brother and parents arrived. They were overjoyed but John remained speechless as he could not accept such an explanation. However, then the question remained why or how did he get into the hospital?

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