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Review My Work / Re: 500 Words - Dark Fantasy Flash Fiction - The Vagrant
« Last post by EliTaffJr on February 19, 2019, 08:50:51 PM »
Hello Eli,

The writing here is pretty good imo. The scenes are easy enough to imagine and you keep them coming at a digestible pace. Unfortunately the moderately cliche high fantasy delivery kept me from ever being fully under the spell. This story?, chapter? (more on that later) doesn't do much to stand out from the crowd but instead relies on the formulaic tropes established by the genre's archetypes with which we're all too familiar.

You mention this was the result of a free write. Perhaps it could benefit from an outline, because as it stands there is no certain direction in which the reader can anticipate the story continuing. I'm not familiar with anthologies that interconnect their respective stories, but what we have here reads, to me, much more like a chapter than an individual story. More than that, it feels like a rather flat, disjointed video game story line.

Reduced to its essentials, the story arc follows as thus: the Vagrant is seen inexplicably loafing around a village until one day a denizen of the (surprise) Medieval European county attempts to kick him, at which point the Vagrant counters the pot-bellied assailant, demands information as to his own whereabouts, then walks off proudly. Presumably Todrik is en route to either save or kill his corrupted son, but this is not altogether clear. Generally there's just not much to chew on.

Given what we have, my suggestion would be to flesh this out more with respect to the overarching story line and perhaps consider why your overall story needs to be in anthology form, or if it would benefit from being adapted into novel form.

Hope this helps,
Dustin

Thank you, Dustin! Your critique is much appreciated. It was very well articulated and there is a lot I want to unpack from it while I continue working on it. Thanks again.
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All the Write Questions / Re: How to promote books?
« Last post by heartsongjt on February 19, 2019, 07:53:36 PM »
Sure. People do find their way to my site from several of the regular search engines plus a few really weird ones like - pizza-tycoon.com, pizza-imperia.com, burger-imperia.com, brandnewblogs.com, burger-tycoon.com, search.aol.com and  199.34.228.43. Most of these appear to be bogus, my browser won't even let me log onto them. Bing, Google, and Yahoo all work just fine.

LOL  I had forgot about pizza and burger tycoons.....  I use to get a few visits from them on my personal web site.
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All the Write Questions / Re: How to promote books?
« Last post by iwannabeone on February 19, 2019, 07:44:00 PM »
Sure. People do find their way to my site from several of the regular search engines plus a few really weird ones like - pizza-tycoon.com, pizza-imperia.com, burger-imperia.com, brandnewblogs.com, burger-tycoon.com, search.aol.com and  199.34.228.43. Most of these appear to be bogus, my browser won't even let me log onto them. Bing, Google, and Yahoo all work just fine.
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Review My Work / Re: 500 Words - Dark Fantasy Flash Fiction - The Vagrant
« Last post by Dustin91 on February 19, 2019, 07:42:32 PM »
Hello Eli,

The writing here is pretty good imo. The scenes are easy enough to imagine and you keep them coming at a digestible pace. Unfortunately the moderately cliche high fantasy delivery kept me from ever being fully under the spell. This story?, chapter? (more on that later) doesn't do much to stand out from the crowd but instead relies on the formulaic tropes established by the genre's archetypes with which we're all too familiar.

You mention this was the result of a free write. Perhaps it could benefit from an outline, because as it stands there is no certain direction in which the reader can anticipate the story continuing. I'm not familiar with anthologies that interconnect their respective stories, but what we have here reads, to me, much more like a chapter than an individual story. More than that, it feels like a rather flat, disjointed video game story line.

Reduced to its essentials, the story arc follows as thus: the Vagrant is seen inexplicably loafing around a village until one day a denizen of the (surprise) Medieval European county attempts to kick him, at which point the Vagrant counters the pot-bellied assailant, demands information as to his own whereabouts, then walks off proudly. Presumably Todrik is en route to either save or kill his corrupted son, but this is not altogether clear. Generally there's just not much to chew on.

Given what we have, my suggestion would be to flesh this out more with respect to the overarching story line and perhaps consider why your overall story needs to be in anthology form, or if it would benefit from being adapted into novel form.

Hope this helps,
Dustin
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All the Write Questions / Re: How to promote books?
« Last post by heartsongjt on February 19, 2019, 06:50:26 PM »
Jan, Why would I possibly mind your sharing my website? my work can use all the exposure it can get.

Have you listed the link to your site in free search engines.... ? That's one way of getting more visitors to your site.
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All the Write Questions / Re: How to promote books?
« Last post by iwannabeone on February 19, 2019, 06:30:36 PM »
Thank you Ken, but there's no need to send me a free book. I hope you don't mind ,I shared your site link on my Facebook page, I have over 1000 followers, So, I thought there might be a few readers, who would enjoy ,and welcome a visit to your site.   Jan

Jan, Why would I possibly mind your sharing my website? my work can use all the exposure it can get.
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All the Write Questions / Re: How to promote books?
« Last post by heartsongjt on February 19, 2019, 06:07:49 PM »
Over the past several months my website has been viewed an average of about 35-40 times a day. Unfortunately, I've never received any responses. That is until today and the person found my site right here on MWC! I quickly responded to the positive message with an offer to send any one selected book for free, of course.
Thank you Ken, but there's no need to send me a free book. I hope you don't mind ,I shared your site link on my Facebook page, I have over 1000 followers, So, I thought there might be a few readers, who would enjoy ,and welcome a visit to your site.   Jan
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All the Write Questions / Re: How to promote books?
« Last post by iwannabeone on February 19, 2019, 05:44:10 PM »
Over the past several months my website has been viewed an average of about 35-40 times a day. Unfortunately, I've never received any responses. That is until today and the person found my site right here on MWC! I quickly responded to the positive message with an offer to send any one selected book for free, of course.
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The Gallery / Re: Open Letter to MWC Members
« Last post by heartsongjt on February 19, 2019, 03:14:33 PM »
On second thought, I am a member of MWC, too.
And, will not let MWC 'go silently into the night.'
Jan
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The Coffee Shop / Re: Quotes that make you stop
« Last post by Vienna on February 19, 2019, 08:46:29 AM »
 "Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people" - Karl Marx
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