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All the Write Questions / Re: motivation
« Last post by heartsongjt on Today at 10:14:04 AM »
Motivation

What moves one to  stay focused on writing may not work for everyone. I've found that to stay motivated  I need to be inspired by thoughts  of the purpose for what it is I'm trying to write.   jt
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Review My Work / Re: First 1800 words of a suspense/thriller/tragedy novel
« Last post by Kit on Yesterday at 03:24:37 PM »
Intense writing.  I agree with lots of what's already been posted.  I'll add that you refer to the orchestra and then the symphony, which felt like one kind of performance.  But when you later said opera, that felt like a different kind of performance and it changed what I envisioned.  Was that intentional?  Just a small thing, but it stood out to me as a musician.

Good read though.  Thanks for sharing.

Best,

Kit

 
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Writers Wanted! / Re: Beta Reader and Critique Groups for Writers
« Last post by heartsongjt on Yesterday at 02:45:37 PM »
You welcome, Kit. Best of luck with your writing.
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Writers Wanted! / Re: Beta Reader and Critique Groups for Writers
« Last post by Kit on Yesterday at 02:30:34 PM »
Thanks for posting Jan.

Best,

Kit
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Hi Albatross,

I read your second take.  Your expertise in flying comes shining through as you incorporate it successfully into the story.  There is a lovely balance between full sentences and short phrases that keep a forward momentum.  I could easily visualize what was happening.

Thanks. As you can see by the fact that I posted two versions, I am still chasing my idea here, but its good to know I'm getting close.

Your opening paragraph shows that Manfred was suffering from a hangover and therefore had shoddy air-work.  Then, when it comes time, he is a capable flyer and able to beat the enemy.  This feels like a disconnect to me.

Interesting that you see a disconnect. For me, there's no disconnect because I see him screwing up repeatedly after the attack starts. I mean he gets the initial set-up okay, but obviously over-cooks his first firing run, almost crashes into the bomber, just-about G-locks himself, then proceeds to depart controlled flight not once, but twice. Oh, and he has a hard time keeping on the tail of a lumbering aircraft that is much less agile than the one he's flying. Only at the end, when he accidentally finds himself in a good position, is he able to get a killing shot of.  Overall, he flies terribly, but redeems himself with sheer fortitude and courage.

Clearly, I need to do a better job of conveying that. I thought I had.

 

Of course, I don’t know the story before this, but I wonder why would he chose to drink to excess the night before going into combat?

Anxiety, pent-up anticipation, and peer pressure can make an otherwise sensible person do some pretty dumb stuff. And Manfred was never a big drinker, so it doesn't take that much over-indulgence before he bemoaning the after-affects.

I think in the context of the book, it's pretty clear that his flying troubles depicted here are more a result of holding on too tight, and worrying about not being good enough. When survival instinct or training take over, he actually flies pretty well. Its just when he "in his head" too much (over-thinking everything) that he does poorly.

That was me as a student/nugget aviator too, come to think of it.  :) 

And BTW there is a long and glorious tradition of pilots flying into combat with hangovers (or even still schlitz for that matter). Hell, some guys do their best work that way. Pappy Boyington, anyone? (Google him)

Anyway, thanks for reading Kit. I appreciate your reply. 

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Review My Work / Re: The Bar. 2100 words. Fiction. Some language.
« Last post by Kit on Yesterday at 01:02:13 PM »
Hi landmersm,

Great story, nice building of tension.  Would want to read more.  I’m a fan of the dark.

What is the connection between ol’ Trent and the rest of the story?

Instead of: “He closed his eyes for a moment and made a sound something close to sexual gratification.”  - maybe describe the sound he makes.

It’s not clear to me that she shot herself at the end.  Once you explained that she did, it’s not clear to me what her motivation was for doing so.  Is it because she now has the horrible images in her head too?

Thanks for sharing your writing.

Best,

Kit
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All the Write Questions / Re: motivation
« Last post by heartsongjt on Yesterday at 12:41:07 PM »
How do you keep yourself motivated to write?
Motivation to write from various sites.   jt

Being motivated 100% of the time just isn’t possible for most authors. So don’t get discouraged if you’re having a hard time getting started...

Conclusion

How do you motivate yourself to write?
1.Write every day
2.Don’t edit as you write
3.Get rid of distractions
4.Take a break
5.Use examples from others
6.Talk it out
7.Try creative writing prompts

https://www.briantracy.com/blog/writing/how-to-stay-motivated-when-writing-a-book/

Other links:
https://blog.myneurogym.com/stay-motivated-when-writing-a-book

https://www.writersdigest.com/writing-articles/by-writing-goal/improve-my-writing/9-ways-to-get-started-and-stay-motivated

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Hi Albatross,

I read your second take.  Your expertise in flying comes shining through as you incorporate it successfully into the story.  There is a lovely balance between full sentences and short phrases that keep a forward momentum.  I could easily visualize what was happening.

Your opening paragraph shows that Manfred was suffering from a hangover and therefore had shoddy air-work.  Then, when it comes time, he is a capable flyer and able to beat the enemy.  This feels like a disconnect to me.  Of course, I don’t know the story before this, but I wonder why would he chose to drink to excess the night before going into combat?

I enjoyed the story.  Thanks for sharing!

Best,

Kit
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Review My Work / Re: The Dreaded Prologue (631 words)
« Last post by msgretagreen on Yesterday at 11:55:13 AM »
Kit,
Once again, thank you for your thoughtful response. I am glad you do not think a prologue necessary to my story, and am fine with setting this brief entry aside.  :)

I am happy to read any pages you post!
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Review My Work / Hunting for an agent (1200 words) - historical fiction
« Last post by msgretagreen on Yesterday at 11:46:05 AM »
Hello all,

Thank you once again for the invaluable feedback. You have given me much to think about...
I am definitely dropping my first sentence - a darling that hung-on for too long.
Kit, your comment: "Africa is a continent and NOT a country" is spot on. The “African” population on the Seychelles was made up of people from many countries (primarily in Eastern and Southern Africa), more than I chose to list in my sentence: “people of African, Malagasy, Indian, Chinese, French, and British descent”. Perhaps, I should say African, Asian, and European? It sounds so vague—but no more than “African”.
I am a frequent searcher of word etymology. I found this on “legitimacy”: "state of being legitimate" in any sense, 1690s of children, 1812 of kings and governments, general use by 1836. I think my usage applies because Adine “looks" to be the child of white parents, and this is what gives her entry amongst the upper class.
Dustin91, the agent who asked for a partial is “legitimate” too, but alas, she sent a polite rejection.
I’ve taken all constructive criticism to heart and worked on a change to the opening. I’ve decided to tell chapter one in Camille’s POV. With an omniscient narrator, Adine gets to have a voice later on.
Thank you again.
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