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Topics - Jia Ming

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Review My Poetry / My Grasses
« on: October 15, 2017, 03:30:31 PM »
My grasses curtsy forced,
Beside so ‘manly trees,
Ferns licking every hunchbacked bow
With marriage-knot decrees.

My childish sun is slow,
Revealing each by each,
How slick my grasses’ back bent back,
Whose Sigh so out of reach.

My ants lay flat on top,
Just basking, then a shriek,
Oh, that was nothing, just the grass
Now sounding so antique.

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Review My Poetry / Ballooning (Revision)
« on: August 27, 2017, 01:20:20 PM »
squatted mahogany stool
on a minute, minutest lawn.
Far over there, who chunks? Holding great shears,
nibbling minutes, weeds and roots.
Thus, prickly greens gradient to dirt
over, over, and over.

Whose line's sharply bending down;
soon acute, soon tearing
the back, and the bystander.
An opening tipped, ripped, inhaled
as vacuums suck: Inflate—
Back as a coffin on the





Very old Ballooning
Squatted mahogany stool
against minutest greens of lawns.
Far there, sat on, held grand shears
yet snipping shoots, by leaf, by roots.
Shredded greens gradients soil-brown
in repetition; still with more.

A line bends so sharply downwards,
soon set acute, soon tearing
like the little grasses too, sharp.
The opening inhales air
as vacuums orders such: explode,
and let bleeds flow down the limp…

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Review My Poetry / Deliberate
« on: August 12, 2017, 02:21:49 PM »
Accidental smudge, some scissor-swish
and sawing-ripping: surgically crush-ed.
The finest. Limbs with wings, the jointed-dish!
Do crouch, do touch, all six of them a-shush-ed.
Largest painting. Yellow sploshes: left,
and greenish blotches: top-to-bot, a gush.
They dance (legato uncontrolled): a theft
of Innocence; their spasms scold me: Hush.

Each of she; her tenor-mandibles
I squished, had wished as vicious queens, to birth;
it’s them! Not me, so blame their worthless wriggles
on Time— then let its bowing show’er worth
and grow my lovelies’ heads to castle hives
straight up with meteor lights to dive back life.

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Review My Poetry / Semitone
« on: August 02, 2017, 11:32:48 AM »
The blueish painted butterflies,
Renewed—but two—as soot cocoons.
Their tapping hues were kindly passed
To swingers (tutti) both attune!
Too bright. The dozenth root of two
Ingrained in all; no thing immune.
An ever-know, an ever-asked
Cradling pollen by the moon:
Just flutter, flutter, flutter by.

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Review My Poetry / Today I See Your Flawless Scheme
« on: July 22, 2017, 03:23:27 AM »
Today I see your flawless scheme
That grants forevermore
Within the futures’ watered dreams
And vivid tell-tale lore.

Your castle gates, afilled beyond—
With Fields of medals’ shine.
At rapid rates, the crowds have spawned:
Their worship on y'our shrine.

And all the names in nameless skies
Who ‘tempts to test their fate
Shall drown before the sun’s arise,
Your hinges’ open grate.

The incomparability:
Between the planck and star,
Exhales an air fragility—
For Names who never are

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Review My Poetry / YELLOW (acrostic)
« on: June 17, 2017, 12:46:04 PM »
Yes-sirry! these fizzes fills my feet with
Everything- too delicate: a Sunny
Ladybird- too sweet: a honey's Honey
Lemon drink! And should we take a whiff
Of such- such snappy splashy Splunkydashy;
We'll caress the truth of Yellow... Flashy!


What are your thoughts in these types of poetry? btw i noticed was "those people" who posted once and left, now i'll try to make up for it (finished exams!). I just really wanted to know what u guys thought of this :)

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Welcome Board - START HERE! / Hey, it's Jia Ming!
« on: December 07, 2016, 11:32:16 PM »
I'm from Malaysia, nice to meet you! I have no clue how I found my writer's circle but I'm happy I did.
Also,  I'm completely new to poetry–well I've studied eng lit (gcses) but never wrote a poem since the start of Dec–

Uhh.. I'm sorry I skimmed through the new members' rules and etiquette and straight away posted my poem to be review... It was late and I was too excited.

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Review My Poetry / Sonnet: Mediocre
« on: December 07, 2016, 12:02:44 PM »
All critique appreciated!!! I wrote this little sonnet recently and dont feel like showing this to anyone I know... So please any feedback is a wonder to me!


Mediocre

Upon a ponder of lacking purpose:
Meaning– buds from dreams to live forever
Upon people's praise in distant futures;
Strictly– only mozarts or for shakespeares.
Beastly tangling vines in way of them who
'Tempts to thwart such tasteless faking of fate—
To watch their hollow heads reach unknown tombs
And hear their hearts hover through heaven's gate.

Gazing down the sheer drop, and shivering,
Acting its uselessness' saviour of all.
Peering down from great heights, and regretting
Never to be famed, nor framed upon walls...
Yet, for fear in sighing Life, and of her long love,
Maybe we’ll continue— just never reach above.

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