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Messages - julytimes

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Review My Poetry / 3 short poems of metaphor
« on: January 23, 2018, 10:53:51 AM »
These are the first poems I've ever written (homework assignment for my Poetry course) so they might be rough. Any and all feedback is much appreciated!

I.    Sun
as night yawns and begins to turn in
the pearl grey hands of the clouds relax
smooth, warm gold slips through their fingers
as the bright, copper coin slowly climbs
seeping dawn down the mountainside

II.   Gossip
At first glance, her words, they dripped honey.
They stuck sweet and caught on her lips.
But they plummeted down
and splintered on the ground.
Where they glowed a green toxic hiss.

III.   Thoughts at 5:30pm
Forehead creased. Tired hands. Always, always promote the brand.
Mind fraught. Tensed neck. I gotta keep an eye on the NASDAQ.
Family time, dinners cut short. Rush, turn in my quarterly report.
A pack of Camels, five smoked by 4. Sleep, work, commute, there’s nothing more.
The car a rat cage, the soul has been bought. The interstate is a goddamn parking lot.

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Welcome Board - START HERE! / college freshman looking for guidance
« on: January 23, 2018, 10:50:46 AM »
Hi everyone! My name's July and I'm a freshman in college. Not only do I want to go into law, but I also really enjoy English, so I'm on the path for a double major w/ one of those majors being English.

I got some credit from AP courses so I'm starting in 4050, a senior poetry course. The professor is an actual, published poet so I'm just looking for help with some of the stuff I'm writing for class and for enjoyment.

Happy to be here!

xx

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