My Writers Circle

Poets Corner => Review My Poetry => Topic started by: shaan on August 14, 2021, 10:33:53 AM

Title: Independence Day Poem
Post by: shaan on August 14, 2021, 10:33:53 AM

Friends, please give your feedback to make this poem better.  thanks

=== My beloved Homeland, Pakistan ===

No matter where I abide, my Pakistan is my recognition
My brightness is in reference of its name

O beloved homeland I swear upon your honor, no matter what
I shant let down your honor.

An aromatic scent has blossomed on the roofs, the doors and all around
The ambience is filled with its green  light

The corners of my courtyard are lit with its name
This illumination is because of the lamps of blood.

How dare anyone want to damage my homeland
Its guardian is my Lord

@shaan
Title: Re: Independence Day Poem
Post by: watcher111 on August 28, 2021, 06:56:34 PM
Friends, please give your feedback to make this poem better.  thanks

=== My beloved Homeland, Pakistan ===

No matter where I abide, my Pakistan is my recognition
My brightness is in reference of its name

O beloved homeland I swear upon your honor, no matter what
I shant let down your honor.

An aromatic scent has blossomed on the roofs, the doors and all around
The ambience is filled with its green  light

The corners of my courtyard are lit with its name
This illumination is because of the lamps of blood.

How dare anyone want to damage my homeland
Its guardian is my Lord

@shaan

A beautiful tribute  to your homeland. I believe anyone who loves their own 'homeland' can relate to the feelings ..   w
Title: Re: Independence Day Poem
Post by: shaan on August 31, 2021, 12:51:34 PM
A beautiful tribute  to your homeland. I believe anyone who loves their own 'homeland' can relate to the feelings .. 

thank you so much!
Title: Re: Independence Day Poem
Post by: watcher111 on September 01, 2021, 01:21:17 PM
thank you so much!

You welcome.  w