My Writers Circle

Poets Corner => Review My Poetry => Topic started by: audrey Barret on June 05, 2021, 02:22:40 PM

Title: Poetry Book
Post by: audrey Barret on June 05, 2021, 02:22:40 PM
Hello I'm new here and I just published a book called " Sorry For Those Words" and I would like someone to read it and tell me what their thoughts about it. It's available on kindle(Amazon.com).
Here is one of the poems from my book. It's a relfection on life that I came up with during the first pandemic.

WWTEYOYD

What would the eight years old you do ?
It got me thinking about the dream of the younger me
I wanted to be a poet or a writer, and maybe you did too
But then you have to be realistic about what you can be

I seek for this eight years old me to tell her Iím sorry
I didnít find the strength and abandoned her
In the magical world of dwarfs she used to play with Julie
Sheís hiding probably in the small house by the river

At my parent's house I find the old maps I drew
I really had a powerful imagination
Itís filled with different shades of colors, but mostly with blue
Back then, I didnít seek for approbation

Walking through the garden, I remember
The plants were gigantic and made me feel so small
I remember there was an evil queen, she took the kingdom in December
Finally, I find the eight year old me, she looks like a cute doll

I decide to grab one of her tiny hand
She doesnít look afraid but extremely sad
I explain to her that I want to be her friend
And accomplish this beautiful dream she had


Enjoy your reading and have a lovely day  ;D
Title: Re: Poetry Book
Post by: jt72 on June 06, 2021, 07:56:53 PM
Thank you for sharing ,Audrey.
The fifth stanza-line 1   "hand" should be "hands"

I decide to grab one of her tiny hand

I decide to grab one of her tiny hands.
or
I decide to grab her tiny hand.

Good luck with your book.    jt

Title: Re: Poetry Book
Post by: audrey Barret on June 08, 2021, 02:11:45 AM
Thank you so much for the correction. Enjoy your day
Title: Re: Poetry Book
Post by: jt72 on June 09, 2021, 12:44:34 AM
You are welcome. Best of luck with your writing.