My Writers Circle

Poets Corner => Review My Poetry => Topic started by: Vork on May 13, 2021, 01:03:08 PM

Title: Your eyes
Post by: Vork on May 13, 2021, 01:03:08 PM
I wrote this poem a few months ago for my boyfriend. He has bright blue eyes I'm obsessed with so I decided to write about them. Hope you like it :)

Under the shade of a dormant tree
The soft grass felt like a pillow
I lay as I watched peacefully
The slow swing of the willow

I heard the faint buzz of a bee
And the distant cows bellow
The nearby trickle of the stream
Sounded oh so mellow

I've never felt so free,
Bathing in warm beams of yellow
There was nothing I couldn't see
Gazing at the sights below

Tall trees swayed in the spring breeze,
The remote mountains were covered in snow.
Right there in front of me
Everything seemed to glow

I could see every tump, hillock and rise
Every mound, slope and elevation
That's when golden light hit my eyes
And I lost my perception

Under the shade of a dormant tree
There's no better situation
Amber streaks seeped between the leaves
And lit up the ocean

The sun adorned the gilded sea
As it sunk into the horizon
When I saw the azure skies
Was when I realized
That the thing that left me so mesmerized
Were actually your eyes
Title: Re: Your eyes
Post by: Sirena_321 on May 13, 2021, 08:24:00 PM
@Vork...this is beautiful. Itís so descriptive, and it sounds like you really love your boyfriend...I hope you shared this with him, because I think he would love it. I hope that one day I meet someone who makes me feel this way. Do you mind me asking how long you guys have been together? Best of luck to the both of you!
Title: Re: Your eyes
Post by: Vork on May 14, 2021, 02:32:33 AM
@Sirena_321, thank you so much for that wonderful reply.  It makes me really happy knowing that someone liked my poem so much. I did show it to him and he liked it but he isn't super emotional (which is fine I wrote it for fun). We've been dating for two years now and I hope I can write more poems like this one.
Thanks again, replies like these are what inspire me and keep me writing. See you soon
Title: Re: Your eyes
Post by: whiterain on September 23, 2021, 10:46:08 PM
When i began to read this I didn't realize how much i seemed tense

reading this unraveled me into a cool warm and comforting place
it was very enjoyable
thank you for sharing