My Writers Circle

Poets Corner => Review My Poetry => Topic started by: poet-e on May 12, 2019, 06:56:06 PM

Title: Just wrote this...
Post by: poet-e on May 12, 2019, 06:56:06 PM
Black Candle

Blade, flower bud dancing on reflective water, ice skating.  Sailor’s knot burning light.  Flower inside flowers.   Deep bottomless sea; pitch blackness.  Endless depth drowning to nothingness.  Amber glows, growing/shrinking, flickering.  Black lives matter!  ALL lives matter?  Police brutalities.  Cops beating hippy heads.  Student protests.  Peaceful marches.  Water hose water boarding.  Interrogations.  Black blue red black orange ballet.  Power fist, fist bump.  Branded slaves.  Dark histories.  Her stories.  Shifting, changing evolution.  Make shift bombs.  Crosses, churches, temples on fire.  Holy Spirit cries.  Hate crimes.  Let there… Be my little light; my caveman survival food—stick rubbing stick, stick igniting sticks; my eternal glowing flame; my end of a blind train tunnel; my north star; my shine.  Flick this burn.  Blue gas stove.  Camping, sleeping beneath billion stars.   Power outage.  S’mores bonfiring bombfires.  Basic element.  Survival kit.  Burning arrows flying, defending castle lands, waging war upon war.   Salt of the earth.  Switch on, switch off.  Wax seal.  End of time living in caves underground.  Red coals.  Old fashioned coal burning black ball grills.  Miners digging, trapped.  Silencing their stories.  Combustion, consumption consumerism.  Vote with wallets.  Beginning and end.  Moon, stars, sun, Son.  Burning bush.  Heat warms.  Olympic torch diplomacy.  Silent stories.  Eternal flame.  Night light lights night.  Closet monsters.   Lost.  Skiing down snowy slopes.  Melt Ice Queen.  Molten lava, extinct volcanoes.  Ash to ashes, ashes we don’t all fall face down.  Lincoln reading in a log cabin.  Silencing his stories.  Radiator heater.  Flame burning trash.  CO2s.   Ozone hole wholes.  Ignoring global warming warnings.  Beast’s glass covered rose.  DC, New Orleans gas lanterns.  Summer camp mosquito bites.  Winter socks.  Big Bang beginning of time.  Science silencing religion.  Pyramid.  Sun burn desert mirages.  Tarred payment burning Arizona feet.  Illumination, imagination.   Strawberry wrapped candy.  Mini tabletop stove, Korean BBQ and stews.  Sun dried tomatoes.  Spaghetti.  Before Italians became white.  Mrs. O’Leary’s cow never existed?  Silenced her story.  Fireplace logs.  Chimney cinders… in my own little corner, in my own little world….  World’s Fair.  1871.  Destruction, innovation.  Industrial Revolution.  Renascence.  Blacksmiths melting metals.  Sun scorching Santa’s Village’s newly tarred parking lot; smell of fresh tar baking greets guests, guiding families to Viking vomiting rides, carousels, and mini fire trucks children spray mini fire hoses from.  Dog’s spoon tongue lapping up water.  Hades.  Gas showers.  Flesh burning flesh.  Witches.  White man diseases kill Indigenous People’s smoke signals.  Trail of dead and dying Tears soaked this land.  Wolves howl extinction.  Killing for land, killing for religion, killing for killing.  Holy Spirit weeps.  Blasphemy.  Religion silencing science.  Othering.  Color blind justice.   Oppression.  Stories silencing stories.  Glass ceiling; sand into glass.  Blowing glass artist.   Lamp shades, light bulbs.  Amish living.  Edison not Einstein.  Bouquet.  Hiroshima nuclear power.    Imagination, illumination.  Minions.  Making invisible visible.  Silencing my story.  Existence.  Silencing our stories.  Equality.  Smells like chocolate.

5/11/19, 5/12/19
Title: Re: Just wrote this...
Post by: nosuchmember on May 12, 2019, 07:31:23 PM
I love it.

I'm researching different poetic form and just finished reading about abstract poetry.

•Abstract (or Sound) Poetry.
To write an abstract poem, it is important to understand that it is not the meaning of the words that are important but the feeling, the sound and the impact of the words on the reader or listener. You do not have to rhyme any of the words and, most importantly, it does not have to make sense. You are creating something intangible yet beautiful.

Title: Re: Just wrote this...
Post by: poet-e on May 12, 2019, 07:37:03 PM
Glad you like this!

My college prof made me do these exercises to ground me...  haven't done one in awhile.
Title: Re: Just wrote this...
Post by: nosuchmember on May 12, 2019, 07:51:55 PM
-E anytime I can help. I will be happy to  do research on anything to do with writing.  I learn much from researching writing terms/topics. Good luck with your writing.
Title: Re: Just wrote this...
Post by: poet-e on May 12, 2019, 08:31:46 PM
I hate researching, lol.
Title: Re: Just wrote this...
Post by: KMStarling on May 15, 2019, 06:18:39 PM
That was a lot to take in, and I'm pretty sure thats all I can really say. I'm not up to date on the genres of poetry, to me this was just a wall of random words, thoughts, and feelings. And please, I don't mean to insult, or offend, I'm sure there is a story here, I just didn't get it.
Title: Re: Just wrote this...
Post by: poet-e on May 15, 2019, 08:36:14 PM
No insult or offense taken!

For me, these poems are fun to write, but hard to read.

Check out Gertrude Stein's poetry if you wanna read more.
Title: Re: Just wrote this...
Post by: dlp on May 20, 2019, 02:40:41 PM
even though there is some cohesion here , this is more stream of conciseness. interesting to the writer, not so much to the reader.
Title: Re: Just wrote this...
Post by: poet-e on May 20, 2019, 04:59:25 PM
I agree @dlp!