My Writers Circle

The Coffee Shop => Writing Games & Challenges => Topic started by: Amie on March 15, 2016, 11:46:24 AM

Title: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on March 15, 2016, 11:46:24 AM
Inspired by the incredibly popular "define a llama" game, I would like to propose a new game, which is very very similar, but this time using phrases or expressions rather than individual words.

So I will post a phrase to start things off - the next person posts a whimsical definition, and then proposes their own phrase for the next person to define, and so on.

so, as an example, if I started off with "something and nothing", the next person might define this as: "a quantum particle, something that is literally there and not there at the same time." And then they might suggest "a stitch in time saves nine", which the next person might define as "practice undertaken by Timelords to prevent unraveling of the universe", and suggest, "flotsam and jetsam", and so on.

So, I'll start with "something and nothing" (I'm sure someone can improve on my attempt at a definition!)
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Artemis Quark on March 15, 2016, 01:51:14 PM
something and nothing: a breath of fresh air in a sealed can.


"things are not what they seem"
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on March 15, 2016, 06:00:28 PM
The most common phrase uttered by miscreants, especially when caught in the act - I.e. when a spouse is caught in bed with an extraneous person.




out of the blue
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Artemis Quark on March 15, 2016, 06:20:30 PM
out of the blue: when a depressed person becomes happy again.

"into the weeds"
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on March 15, 2016, 08:17:38 PM
Someone fresh out of rehab with a blunt.



Light at the end of the tunnel
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on March 15, 2016, 08:23:51 PM
What those who are really into the weeds need to do by the end of a long tunnel journey.

"The exception that proves the rule"
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on March 16, 2016, 10:17:03 AM
Statisticians excuse for outlying data points.




See ya later, alligator
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Artemis Quark on March 16, 2016, 11:02:13 AM
What Indiana Jones yelled while running across a pool filled with crocs in Raiders of the Lost Arc.

LET BYGONES BE BYGONES.
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on March 16, 2016, 04:37:38 PM
Rallying cry during the great bygones liberation demonstrations of the sixties. Free the bygones! Stop the mindless conformity and oppression and let the bygones be themselves!

Keep your nose to the grindstone
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Artemis Quark on March 16, 2016, 06:24:23 PM
Gepetto's advice to Pinocchio. Alas, Pino the Prevaricator would not heed his creator.

THE WORLD IS MY OYSTER

Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on March 17, 2016, 05:04:26 AM
Grandiose statement of someone who has never worked as a pearl fisherman.

LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Dylan di Vilde on March 17, 2016, 05:41:26 AM
Advice yelled by world-weary firemen to potential jumpers to avoid the spiked railings below. 




THERE'S MANY A MICKLE MAKES A MUCKLE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on March 17, 2016, 08:43:14 AM
Irish complaint about making muckles which are stolen by the overlords for their own benefit and to the detriment of all the Micks who actually did the work.



World weary
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on March 17, 2016, 05:50:04 PM
Epidemic chronic fatigue

A LITTLE OF WHAT YOU FANCY
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on March 18, 2016, 04:53:32 AM
... Is not as good as a lot of what you fancy.

A SPANNER IN THE WORKS
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on March 18, 2016, 10:04:01 AM


A SPANNER IN THE WORKS

A typo regarding a Nigerian Prince looking for help with moving millions of dollars from Africa to any other place in the world.





EASY COME; EASY GO
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on March 19, 2016, 04:56:03 AM
Not worth keeping.

IT'S NOT CRICKET!
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on March 19, 2016, 07:46:15 AM
What Pinocchio yells at Jiminy, without the proper punctuation included.





NOW OR NEVER
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on March 19, 2016, 07:54:12 AM
Vacillation of person with extremely poor grasp of time concepts: it could be now, it could be never - I really have no idea! Such people typically have a clinical aversion to watches.

SHIP SHAPE AND BRISTOL FASHION
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on March 19, 2016, 10:52:43 AM
Mrs Susan Ledbetter was well known on the Bristol waterfront in the early 19th century as a lady of negotiable affection.  She was a considerable presence, and also a keen follower of the latest styles from Regency London, though she tended to adapt them in ways that did not entirely flatter her physique.  In later years, any large woman dressing to impress was likely to be described as "ship-shaped, and Bristol fashion".

MUTTON DRESSED AS LAMB
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Artemis Quark on March 19, 2016, 01:30:48 PM
A mature sheep trying to look younger by shearing her coat into a punk style. Mary was not impressed and sent her to the butcher for a really close shave about the neck.

STRIKE UP THE BAND
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on March 20, 2016, 05:18:21 AM
A call to incite musicians to go on strike.

A PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on March 20, 2016, 10:35:42 AM
Everything in your head is only worth one of the smallest coins of the realm.

AGE BEFORE BEAUTY
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on March 20, 2016, 11:50:40 AM
The conundrum presented to the Kardashian Klan which are young and stupid and not all that good looking. They must choose one or the other and come to a consensus. This will hopefully keep them busy and out of what today passes as "news".




PICKLE IN THE MIDDLE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on March 20, 2016, 06:05:49 PM
Terror of gherkin-phobes - the pickle hidden right in the middle of a sandwich, where you can't see it until it's too late

KEEP ONE'S NOSE CLEAN
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on March 21, 2016, 04:56:39 AM
The nose of an aircraft is where much of the radar capability is located.  This can be obstructed by a build-up of pigeon-shit and other detritus.  Failure to keep one's nose clean can lead to flying into mountains.

HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on March 22, 2016, 10:31:38 AM
Headline announcing the jailbreak of pop group Eternal, masterminded by the well-known revolutionary soccer player, Hope Solo

ALL HANDS ON DECK
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on March 22, 2016, 03:54:00 PM
This refers to a bunch of preschool children fighting over 52 playing cards leaving them covered in a sticky mess and many with the corners bent or ripped in two. It is unpleasant as only a horde of preschool children fighting over anything can be.



THE INNOCENCE OF YOUTH
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on March 22, 2016, 03:59:42 PM
Any grandiose, widely-believed myth.  Others are "Mother knows best" and "It's too cold to snow".

MISSING YOU ALREADY
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on March 23, 2016, 06:57:10 PM
A disgruntled sharp shooter having an off day.



A BIRD IN THE HAND IS WORTH TWO IN THE BUSH
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on March 24, 2016, 05:02:17 AM
Derives from Australian sheep stations, where men outnumber women by a significant factor.  Competition is thus so high that holding hands between Bruces and Sheilas is not so much a sign of affection as one of ownership.  Even if there were a couple more out in the bush, a wise Bruce would always try to keep a hand on his bird.

A DOG IS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on March 25, 2016, 12:21:51 PM
A shocking headline in a small town, when it had previously been reported that said man's wife had left him for his best friend!

CHEATERS NEVER PROSPER
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on March 25, 2016, 04:14:17 PM
...And we're back to those widely-believed myths.  Of course cheaters prosper.  It's why they do it.

TIME AND TIDE WAIT FOR NO MAN
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on March 25, 2016, 06:41:45 PM
This a Timex a detergent piece of propaganda used to persuade women to buy their products.



SHE SELLS SEASHELLS
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on March 26, 2016, 04:47:59 AM
Yeah, believe that if you want...most of us reckon she sells something else on the sea-shore!

A FOOL AND HIS MONEY ARE EASILY PARTED
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on March 26, 2016, 07:49:16 AM
A saying propagated by misers to make them feel better about hoarding money.



TO BE OR NOT TO BE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on March 26, 2016, 09:31:16 AM
That is a question.

FROM HERE TO ETERNITY
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on March 27, 2016, 11:15:05 AM
To listen to Der Ring des Nibelungen whilst riding a unicycle down a never-ending corridor plastered with motivational posters.

Bull in a china shop
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on March 28, 2016, 04:13:55 AM
Relaxation of the strict Communist agenda in Beijing has led to a resurgence of the traditional religions.  Around 60% of Chinese are Confucians, with 25% Buddhists, and Moslems and Taoists at 5% each.  However, in such a vast country the Pope still has some three million Roman Catholics to care for, and has found that the best way of reaching them is to post an official letter from the Vatican in as many corner shops as he can.

HEAD OVER HEELS
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on March 28, 2016, 06:09:31 AM
Position 28 in The Kamasutra.

Crouching tiger hidden dragon.

Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on March 28, 2016, 08:46:39 AM
Position 29 in the Kamasutra.  (Position 30 is, Lie still and wait for the chiropractor.)

IF WISHES WERE HORSES, BEGGARS WOULD RIDE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on March 28, 2016, 09:26:26 AM
Leon Trotsky's summation of communism. He of course realised that wishes were not horses because there were never any hoofbeats when he blew out the candles.

When the devil is hungry he eats flies.


 
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on March 28, 2016, 09:52:56 AM
The devil is a trout!  Who'd have guessed it?

THE DEVIL MAKES WORK FOR IDLE HANDS
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on March 28, 2016, 10:33:36 AM
The devil employs youths! Who'd have guessed it?! Everyone actaully.

Kiss me quick.


Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on March 28, 2016, 12:27:52 PM
and then kiss me belly-button, love (command number 43 from the Yorkshire Kama sutra)

ALL MOUTH AND NO TROUSERS
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on March 28, 2016, 12:43:47 PM
The first rule of fellatio club.

Are we there yet?
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on March 29, 2016, 08:56:31 AM
Large mouth bass, an important fish for American anglers. No one in America understands why foreigners insist on dressing their fish, but they are an odd lot.



SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on March 29, 2016, 09:11:32 AM
...It's exactly like here, but still raining.

ALL THE WORLD'S A STAGE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on March 29, 2016, 09:47:36 AM
Hymn of the lesser known microbiologist cult. Cult members believe that humans, the earth, the solar system, and the galaxies are all just components of one huge microorganism. Their god is a microbiologist, who observes the actions of the world-organism through his giant microscope in the cosmos. The universe is encapsulated on a single microscope slide, forever trapped on the stage of the cosmic microscope.

"Stubborn as a mule"
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on March 29, 2016, 02:18:26 PM
Those boots may be made for walking, but all these sandals do is dig their heels in!

THICK AS TWO SHORT PLANKS


Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on March 29, 2016, 02:24:32 PM
Any item exactly 4 inches (or alternatively 10 cm) across.

"A slice of heaven"
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on March 29, 2016, 03:05:55 PM
A round of mixed fortunes for a golfer.

QUIET AS A MOUSE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on March 29, 2016, 04:37:41 PM
An irksome noise (eg scratching, squeaking, scraping) which dominates an otherwise silent room.

"Everyone and their dog"
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on March 30, 2016, 05:08:00 PM
A BBC 2 programme where a rabble and a corgi try to round up a sheep called Angharad.

Never the twain.

Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on March 31, 2016, 07:47:39 AM
Samuel Clemens's mother's battle cry.




TOIL AND TROUBLE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on March 31, 2016, 10:23:48 AM
It is not widely known that Russia's oil industry is controlled by a man from Huddersfield.  Asked, in a rare interview, what motivated him, this was his reply.


BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on March 31, 2016, 01:14:40 PM
The story of a successful stalker and the woman he kidnapped.




A HORSE, A HORSE, MY KINGDOM FOR A HORSE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on March 31, 2016, 06:48:30 PM
Aka "forest for the trees" syndrome, the cry of someone who cannot see that the whole contains the part

"Keep your eye on the ball"
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on April 01, 2016, 09:30:57 AM
Tattoo on Hitler's thigh.

"To hover is divine."
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 02, 2016, 03:38:52 AM
Mantram used by flying carpet yogis.

"If I were you, ..."
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 02, 2016, 04:04:47 AM
"You are stupid.  Isn't the answer obvious?  I wish I only had your problems to deal with.  I don't know how you'd cope with mine.  Will you just sort this out and stop pestering me?"

IN MY HUMBLE OPINION...
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 03, 2016, 03:29:31 AM
Anyone with an ounce of common sense, wit or intelligence can see that I'm right

CRAZY LIKE A FOX
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on April 03, 2016, 03:50:02 AM
To be really annoyed having spent the last hour being chased round town by a pack of horny, slavering, munters, out on a hen-night.

ANYTHING FOR THE WEEK-END, SIR?

Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 03, 2016, 12:35:21 PM
Prophylaxis for those with a more reckless, devil-may-care attitude. It's not something in particular, it could be anything: condoms, cling film, cheese roll, etc. Despite the examples, it doesn't even need to start with "c".

DEVIL MAY CARE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on April 03, 2016, 06:59:33 PM
The first circle of hell - not very hellish, but trying so hard to be.




MADDER THAN A WET HEN
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on April 04, 2016, 02:57:24 AM
To be so mad that the Facebook postings of those under the age of 25, stop looking like utter gibberish, and begin to make some kind of sense.

A ROOM WITH A VIEW
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 04, 2016, 04:29:57 AM
Actually, this is a mis-spelling.  Spelt correctly - A room with a phhew! - it clearly describes the bedroom of a teenage boy after his mother has given up on the housework expeditions.  The particular kind of phhew will tell you whether you're dealing with unwashed rugby socks or uneaten pizza under the bed.

DIAMONDS ARE A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND

Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 04, 2016, 03:10:09 PM
A saying in areas where sadly community has broken down to such an extent that women relieve their loneliness by talking to inanimate pieces of polished stone. Birth rates in such areas plummet (do to lack of physical contact with other humans) so it is a self-correcting delusional state to some extent.

GET DOWN TO BRASS TACKS
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 04, 2016, 03:28:41 PM
Another mis-spelling.  (Really, you people are getting terribly careless!)  Getting down to bras tacks are manoeuvres carried out on sailing vessels.  Tacking is of course the zig-zag course which allows a wind-driven vessel to travel against the wind; but it's hard to balance a sailing boat at the point of maximum drive just before the sails start to back and she stops dead in the water.  The manoeuvre requires the removal of all unnecessary drag factors - especially the outer clothing of younger female crew-members.  Go figure.

FESTIVAL
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 05, 2016, 08:05:47 AM

Translating "festival" into a phrase ;) might yield something like "all the fun of the festival". Which I guess you might say instead of "all the fun of the fair", if you don't want to suggest that blondes have more fun.

SPIC AND SPAN
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on April 05, 2016, 11:03:55 AM
This is a politically incorrect way to refer to bridges in Mexico.



FRANKLY, SCARLETT, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 05, 2016, 04:43:45 PM
Frankie Scarletti is one of the Mafia's up-and-coming godfathers - but not one of its better graffiti artists.

TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on April 05, 2016, 05:09:03 PM
Profound advice from Captain Obvious. Of course, yesterday is also another day as is Tuesday. But ...



LIFE GOES ON
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 05, 2016, 05:33:15 PM
Wicked lie told to those at the bottom of the food-chain.

CHEAP AT TWICE THE PRICE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on April 05, 2016, 09:33:59 PM
Advertising copy which hopes to persuade or lure people into buying crap they don't need and hopefully buy a spare because of the low price.


BAIT AND SWITCH 
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 06, 2016, 01:57:19 PM
All the rage in BDSM circles. Dom "baits" sub to misbehave, after which the "switch" is produced. Often results in addling of brain, as evidenced by writing and / or reading any of the "Fifty Shades" series.

PUTTING THE CART BEFORE THE HORSE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 06, 2016, 02:09:41 PM
A term from golfing.  A "cart" is an easy putt - unless someone kicks it out of the way, it's going in.  A "horse" is much more temperamental - when audible obscenities are heard on the green, mostly a "horse" is to blame.  In golf as in life.

MOTHER KNOWS BEST
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on April 06, 2016, 03:38:19 PM
One of the reasons given in support of arranged marriage.

NEVER TRUST A MAN WHO WEARS Y-FRONTS.



Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 07, 2016, 07:38:35 AM
A corruption of the common Roman phrase from the 4th century, "Never trust a man with why-fronts". This was an admonition not to trust people who ask too many questions (ie, people who front every utterance with "why"?). This suspicion lead directly to the collapse of the Roman Empire and the beginning of the period known as the Dark Ages.

TO BE OR NOT TO BE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on April 07, 2016, 07:51:30 AM
So what happened, right, was like Shakespeare was due to fly to Copenhagen for some elocution lessons, but when he got on the plane he found his seat (2B) was occupied by a skeleton with a sign round its neck reading: I'm the jester, call me Ricky. Billy got confused and spent the entire trip in the toilet, off his face on dry roasted peanuts, writing a story about ghosts and shit.

AY, THERE'S THE RUB.
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on April 07, 2016, 08:45:28 AM
The sign over a massage facility, sometimes called a parlor.



IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 07, 2016, 09:43:03 AM
Another corrupted spelling, the original being: "it was a dark and stormy knight". This was the beginning of a play discussing the infiltration of goths and emos into the medieval military.

STRONG AS AN OX
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on April 09, 2016, 03:31:18 AM
The latest fragrance form Calvin Swine.

A LEOPARD CAN'T CHANGE HIS SOCKS.
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on April 09, 2016, 06:30:24 AM
A poetic reference to the idea that fog comes in on little cat feet because ... well, you know how poets are.



ELEMENTARY MY DEAR WATSON
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 09, 2016, 08:37:17 AM
Reply to the question, "Did you ever actually go to school, Sherlock?"

HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL

Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 10, 2016, 08:36:29 AM
Faith frees electronic aviary for terns. It's a niche phrase, but very useful when you need it.

COME HELL OR HIGH WATER
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on April 10, 2016, 09:50:16 AM
The motto of UK Environment Agency.

FOOLS RUSH IN.
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 10, 2016, 09:58:17 AM
The essence of the US overseas policy: "It don't matter what in hell we do, as long as it fools Rushins." 

TALK'S CHEAP
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on April 10, 2016, 12:15:57 PM
An independent commission spent 5 years and 10 millions pounds investigating why UK TV and radio (radios 3 and 4 notwithstanding) had been dumbed down to the point that a night in watching BBC 1 was less pleasurable than a nasty rash, and produced a 1 page report stating this.

WAR - HUH! - WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 11, 2016, 03:31:59 PM
A challenge to get people to put on their creative thinking caps. If you can think of a good use for war, you can come up with a good use for anything!

THINKING CAP
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 11, 2016, 04:28:25 PM
The Common Agricultural Policy was the mainstay, and main weakness, of the European Economic Community.  Nothing could be achieved unless it was in the interests of French farmers.  So there was a sticker on every computer, calculator, screen and coffee machine in the Commission, saying (in twelve languages) "Think CAP".  Thinking CAP was thus the first duty of every EEC employee.

BIG GIRL'S BLOUSE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 12, 2016, 08:21:28 AM
Analogous to "big boy pants", this is a blouse you can wear when you are fully grown up. Because some people have a innate fear of adulthood, this is used in the expression, "don't be such a big girl's blouse" to encourage a more lighthearted and childlike approach to one's difficulties.

PULLING YOUR WEIGHT
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 12, 2016, 09:17:04 AM
Sociologists have noted that people seeking a relationship are most likely to approach someone at a similar level on the plain/gorgeous scale as themselves.  Someone too gorgeous will probably rebuff the advance; someone too plain may welcome it, but the person making the approach will wonder if he/she could do better.  Thus when noticeably fat or thin people seek a mate, they are most likely to be successful by approaching someone of a similar BMI.

AN ELEPHANT NEVER FORGETS



Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on April 13, 2016, 11:19:49 AM
An expression used to help boost the self-esteem (sometimes called self of steam) of the morbidly obese, citing their proclivity to remember where one can buy various foodstuffs in any area of town.


TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Gyppo on April 13, 2016, 11:51:52 AM
Another of those statements of the blindingly bleeding obvious which is non the less regarded as deep wisdom by the intellectually stunted, or the chronologically ambiguous.

Used as a shorthand to your child to tell them all is forgiven and the next day will be starting with a clean slate it has its uses, because children, to start with, can truly believe in such a dream.

COME BACK, ALL IS FORGIVEN.
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 13, 2016, 02:10:13 PM
Come back, and I'll beat your head in.

CLEANLINESS IS NEXT TO GODLINESS
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on April 13, 2016, 02:46:49 PM
Only the gullible wash behind their ears.

CASTRATO IS A JOB FOR LIFE.
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 13, 2016, 02:55:34 PM
Starting a new career in middle age takes balls.

LAUGH, AND THE WORLD LAUGHS WITH YOU
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 14, 2016, 10:47:49 AM
Comment on the Internet age and influence of social media. The world's there watching, no matter what you do.

NO MATTER
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Artemis Quark on April 14, 2016, 01:04:29 PM
The state of things before the Big Bang.

QUARKS, SPARKS & MESONS, ... OH MY.
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 14, 2016, 02:32:16 PM
The state of things before the Big Bang.

QUARKS, SPARKS & MESONS, ... OH MY.

This is a saying?  Oh well, here goes...

Patrick Quark from Ballyjamesduff moved to Huddersfield and set up as an electrician.  He was so successful that his brothers came over from Ireland to help expand the company, which now went from being "Quark - Sparks" to being "Quarks - Sparks".  By now Patrick had attracted the attention of a local girl: they married, and produced a succession of little boys.  Which meant changing the sign over the door again.  Unfortunately, it was left to Patrick to update it, and Patrick was always better with current than with spelling.  When Patrick performed a small service for a passing royal - something to do with a blown fuse in a limousine champagne chiller - he was recognised in the following year's Honours List, with the Order of High Merit (Yorkshire).

THERE'S NOWT SO QUEER AS FOLK
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on April 14, 2016, 05:26:10 PM
A placard which came over from a different thread to wave for the right of the LGBT community, usually seen in Gay Pride Parades.



PRIMA DONNA
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 14, 2016, 05:30:18 PM
Duplicate posting - mine was: This is a very common expression in Cumbria, which, as the locals know, is populated with many diverse species of mutant newts, or nowts. These nowts are funny fellas, and just as queer as the folk they live amongst.

For PRIMA DONNA: the first Donna, Donna being the female progenitor of any species. Hence French Christians referring to "Madonna", their Donna, who gave birth to Christianity.

WHEN THE CAT'S AWAY, THE MICE WILL PLAY
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on April 15, 2016, 01:45:23 AM
As everyone knows, mice enjoy playing the trombone. However, most people who own a trombone, keep a cat stuffed in the horn end to prevent oxidization - makes sense. So, the only time the mice get to play the trombone (probably some Sousa) is when the cat is away doing other things; such as shitting in my herbaceous border, or mewling outside my window at 3 am.

THAT WAS A TRICK QUESTION

Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 15, 2016, 04:12:35 AM
Plaintive response of "Throat-Slasher" Magraw to a line of questioning following the sudden death of "Fingers" Butterworth, his arch rival.  Magraw was holding firmly to the line that Butterworth cut himself while shaving.  But the investigating officer wasn't convinced; and elicited a confession by the time-honoured method of hiding the pertinent question among a bunch of innocuous ones. 

"Are you ready for a cuppa, Slasher?"
"Yes, please."  (He may have been a psychopathic murderer but his mum brought him up to have manners.)
"Milk, sugar?"
"Yes, please."
"French fancy?"
"Ooh, yes."
"It was you that killed Fingers, wasn't it?"
"Yes...  Inspector!  That was a trick question!"

A STITCH IN TIME...
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on April 15, 2016, 04:22:08 AM
Stitches in time are a temporal anomaly consisting of little bundles of time that refuse to run in a linear fashion. They are often found near roads and if you drive through one 10 to 20 minutes can just disappear. You won't recall anything that happened as you drove through the stitch and will probably simply blame your age, which is of course, ridiculous.

LIKE A BAT OUT OF HELL



Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Gyppo on April 15, 2016, 07:27:27 AM
A cricketing reference to the historic - and histrionic - day when Ian (Beefy) Botham strode out to the crease like an avenging angel warrior, determined to make the Aussie side pay by proxy for the perceived slight of their then Prime Minister daring to touch our Queen.

Every ball he struck was a potential six and his score rose like a cold thermometer suddenly flung into a Turkish bath.  Thus are legends born.

This lion-hearted event earned the lurid headline "Botham puts Aussie's to the Sword!"

VERBIAGE

Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Artemis Quark on April 15, 2016, 08:12:31 AM
A writing technique designed to make something from nothing. There is skillfully composed, best-seller winning verbiage, the previous post as a stellar example, and then there is the diarrhea inflicted pen/keyboard that oozes irrelevant, slimy description, without plot, conflict or denouement.

INTERDIGITATION
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 15, 2016, 09:01:41 AM
To excavate a burial plot.

IT'LL ALL BE THE SAME IN A HUNDRED YEARS
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 15, 2016, 09:23:42 AM
Somewhat long-winded reference to the eventual heat death of the universe, after which, nothing will change. Although, the concept of time will also cease to exist, making this a somewhat spurious reference.

HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 15, 2016, 10:09:47 AM
The Mister Universe contest was scheduled for late summer in the Central African Republic.  It wasn't the competition itself which had the contestants dropping like flies, it was the warm-up rounds.

PADDLE YOUR OWN CANOE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 15, 2016, 11:41:57 AM
Also spelled "pas de LeRhone que nous", famous last words made by Wallie LeRhone, the least clever of the gangster LeRhone family, after he and his family were inadvertently discovered in their hideout in Weston-Super-Mare by a group of stray French tourists. They had meticulously faked their own deaths (the LeRhones, not the tourists), and might nearly have got away with it, until said French tourists asked if their was any relation, and Wallie responded with, "There are no more members of the LeRhone family. Except us. Oops." (Translated as above ;) )

LOST IN TRANSLATION
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 16, 2016, 11:11:08 AM
When Count Dracula was driven out of Transylvania, this is where he went.  The forest are so dense that even a vampire can get lost in Translation.

CALL ME A TAXI

Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on April 17, 2016, 04:21:52 AM
What Prince Charles said one morning in New York when he woke up to find that Camilla had painted his ears yellow.

I LIKE YOUR DRESS, IT WOULD LOOK SPECTACULAR ON MY BEDROOM FLOOR.
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 17, 2016, 07:36:09 AM
Early inspiration for Jackson Pollock. After he responded to the flattery and removed his dress, he could see the truth of his erstwhile lover's statement and tried to recreate the look in his paintings. Now used to mean, "I'm open to new things"

COMMON OR GARDEN
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 17, 2016, 10:04:57 AM
Inquiry as to whether something is for public or private consumption.  The common, clearly, is open to all, whereas a garden is private property. 

PATIENCE ON A MONUMENT
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 17, 2016, 10:47:58 AM
Monumental patience

POT CALLING KETTLE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 17, 2016, 10:52:33 AM
Josiah Pot was the first trucker in his part of the country to equip his rig with CB radio.  Arnie Kettle was the second. 

FREQUENT FLIER
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on April 17, 2016, 05:39:48 PM
The second book by JR Hartley.

THE ONLY THING THAT COULD EVER REACH ME, WAS THE THUMB OF A PREACHER MAN.
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 18, 2016, 10:23:30 AM
Refrain from a planet where people are unfeasibly far apart, and preachers' thumbs are ridiculously long.

FLY IN THE OINTMENT
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on April 18, 2016, 11:54:16 AM
The 3rd book by JR Hartley.

YOU SCRATCH MY SACK, I'LL SCRATCH YOURS.
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 18, 2016, 12:36:55 PM
Plea of the famous potato sack fashionistas of 1782. To "scratch" in those days meant "to wear". Trade in potato sack dresses and tunics was sluggish, and so merchants would often wear each other's sacks, to create the illusion of increased sales (and thus hopefully stimulate real sales). Used extensively in modern English, as we all know, to describe any tit-for-tat arrangement, so long as it is taking place in Mark H's head :)

ONE HAND WASHES THE OTHER
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on April 19, 2016, 02:28:50 AM
A Navy based porn movie.

A HOLE IN ONE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Gyppo on April 19, 2016, 04:41:12 AM
A six hundred and some odd verse poem, (some very odd indeed), - which takes approximately three hours to recite, written as an ode to a pair of socks which were purchased secondhand as 'barely used' - written in the style of William Topaz McGonagall.

MIND-NUMBING
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on April 19, 2016, 05:16:42 AM
Like the roaring twenties and the swinging sixties, the 1980s deserved a name and got one. Mind-numbing sums up the 80s, with its tedious music, clothes and hair styles. People who have lived through a proper decade always carry some cheese with them, so they have something to stuff in their ears whenever any 1980s music is played. Pre the use of cheese men would often cut off their own ears to avoid the inevitable coma induced by 80s music.

BEBOP

Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 19, 2016, 09:33:40 AM
A lula, she's my baby...

ROCK 'N ROLL
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 19, 2016, 03:09:39 PM
The manoeuvre performed by a hillwalker on tripping over a half-buried boulder.

THE GRAPES OF WRATH

Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Gyppo on April 19, 2016, 03:33:44 PM
Piles (haemorrhoids), according to a former workmate he suffered badly from them.

WALKING THE DOG
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 20, 2016, 05:46:59 AM
What most people with a dog do a couple of times a day, and for rather longer at weekends.  In my household this is known as "Going draggies".  I'm slow, but by God, a Labrador with a keen interest in smells is slower.

DRAG-RACING
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Gyppo on April 20, 2016, 06:12:23 AM
Sprint racing, in dress, high heels and full warpaint, between male cross-dressers.  (Trouser suits not allowed.)

Or...  Two dog walkers dragging corpulent hounds over the same route.  Strapping the beasts to a skateboard is seen as bad form.

BUNGEE-JUMPING

Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 20, 2016, 10:34:36 AM
This is a terrible new trend in the inner cities - innocent bungees are being attacked on the streets, having given no provocation whatsoever. Quite often, the attacks are videoed and uploaded to YouTube. Terrible.

WING AND A PRAYER
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on April 20, 2016, 03:48:59 PM
A really crap meal.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS YET?
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Gyppo on April 20, 2016, 06:13:50 PM
Rolf Harris slowly lowering his trousers.

BAD TASTE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 20, 2016, 10:22:43 PM
Bathhouse in the German town of Taste (pronounced TAH-stuh)

HELL BENT FOR LEATHER
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on April 21, 2016, 01:54:59 AM
The slogan of the company which makes the devil's thongs.

I'M VERY WELL ACQUAINTED, TOO, WITH MATTERS MATHEMATICAL.
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 21, 2016, 01:41:39 PM
A kind of name-dropping, as everyone wants to know Mr Mathematical. Matters himself is actually a hermit, and isn't well-acquainted with anyone.

SOLDIER ON
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 22, 2016, 03:29:44 AM
To attach one metal piece to another by means of melted flux.

ALL HIS GEESE ARE SWANS
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on April 22, 2016, 06:44:10 AM
Mr. Magoo rescued some goslings in the spring and tended to them religiously. By fall, by some trick of alchemy, they were beautiful swans and all wore Coke-bottle lensed glasses.



A MISS IS AS GOOD AS A MILE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Gyppo on April 23, 2016, 08:54:03 AM
Spending some time with an agile and enthusiastic young miss is as good for your health as walking a mile..  Seven miles according to some estimates of calorific expenditure.

CALORIE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 23, 2016, 09:04:40 AM
Juggernaut bound for California.

I'D TRUST HIM AS FAR AS I COULD THROW HIM
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on April 23, 2016, 09:19:24 AM
An old wives tale implying that dwarfs are the most trustworthy people on the planet.

YOUR TINY HAND IS FROZEN

Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 23, 2016, 02:24:37 PM
It is a universal truth that small bodies lose and gain heat faster than large ones.  This is particularly true on the Great Plains during winter, where the first farm-hand to suffer frost bite is invariably the smallest.

ONE SWALLOW DOESN'T MAKE A SPRING
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Gyppo on April 23, 2016, 04:43:37 PM
Very true.  All rational beings know it takes steel wire to make a spring, or some fairly exotic plastics.  Any attempt to use a small compressed bird with a v-shaped tail is doomed to failure.  Messy failure.  Using multiple birds is just more messy

A PRICK LIKE A BABY'S ARM
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 23, 2016, 07:47:11 PM
A really handy appendage (no pun intended) - it can do all sorts of nifty tricks, and even give you gynaecological exam while it's up there.

WHAT IN TOM BLAZES ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on April 24, 2016, 02:23:33 AM
The only thing someone from Surrey will ever say if he/she travels north-east of Harrogate.

YOU HAVE LET YOURSELF DOWN

Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 24, 2016, 04:02:13 AM
Reproachful comment from the power company's rescue team (known as the Pole Party) on arriving at a pole where they'd been expecting to find an engineer overcome by vertigo at the top and actually found an engineer sinking a stiff whiskey at the bottom.

VIRTUE IS ITS OWN REWARD
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 24, 2016, 10:29:24 AM
Like a sort of infinity mirror for virtue - it doesn't need to actually be applied to anything, it just looks in on itself and keeps reflecting back on itself again and again, like a sort of platonic form that never actually connects to the real world.

IN AT THE DEEP END
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on April 24, 2016, 12:36:54 PM
To meet a slapper at the lido.

KEEP YOUR POWDER DRY.
 
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 25, 2016, 03:44:26 AM
Advice to the slapper you met at the lido.

WAIL LIKE A BANSHEE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on April 25, 2016, 06:56:02 AM
A large sea mammal rarely seen except during hurricanes when the winds are finally refreshing enough for the creature to make it to topside.



VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 25, 2016, 02:12:20 PM
The vaudeville version of "All the world's a stage..."

A CAT MAY LOOK AT A KING
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on April 26, 2016, 07:06:06 AM
Jazz musicians talking about Michael Jackson or perhaps Elvis Presley, but certainly not Prince.



STONE WALLS DO NOT A PRISON MAKE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on April 26, 2016, 07:29:43 AM
The mission statement of the division of G4S responsible for prison building.

WHY DO BIRDS SUDDENLY APPEAR?
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on April 26, 2016, 11:32:12 AM
Alfred Hitchcock's plaintive plea while filming Psycho and then inspired his next film.




WATER WATER EVERYWHERE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 26, 2016, 02:07:46 PM
Now the regular state of many parts of the UK, due to nearly annual flooding. And still the water board manages to tell us there are droughts and shortages. In what is probably one of the most consistently wet countries in the world. Yes, I know, a short phrase that packs a lot of meaning :)

PACKS A PUNCH
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 27, 2016, 03:54:59 AM
The Suffolk Punch is one of the oldest and purest breeds of draught horse in the world.  Their carrying capacity is legendary.  To pack a Punch means to show one is ready to make a long journey or, by implication, a serious change.

FIT FOR NOTHING
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 27, 2016, 01:08:16 PM
In certain metaphysical circles, nothing is actually everything. Therefore, to be fit for nothing is to be fit for everything, in the deepest theological sense.

IN CERTAIN CIRCLES
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on April 27, 2016, 05:16:45 PM
A helicopter landing pad. Well, certain circles have an H in them.

THROW ME A BONE.
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 28, 2016, 03:59:32 AM
Rallying cry to jazz musicians everywhere.

WALLS HAVE EARS
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Dylan di Vilde on April 28, 2016, 04:36:03 AM
and noses, tails, trotters and unmentionable bits. They put them in the sausages. And possibly in the ice cream.
 

A LIKELY STORY
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on April 28, 2016, 07:10:15 AM
A pleasant tale, a comedy in Shakespearean terms.


AH THERE'S THE RUB
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 28, 2016, 09:32:06 AM
Sigh of relief from someone who has overdone the unfamiliar exercise.

THE FACE THAT LAUNCHED A THOUSAND SHIPS
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on April 29, 2016, 01:16:54 AM
This is an actual person. Her name is: Mrs Queenie Nebuchadnezzar McBoatface.

EVERYONE WAS KUNG FO FIGHTING
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 29, 2016, 03:41:48 AM
Quote to a local freesheet from someone caught up in a brawl at chucking-out time.  Unfortunately, the reporter didn't realise the interviewee had a speech impediment and meant to say, "Everyone was done for fighting."  Consequently his headline caused quite unnecessary alarm in the area.

ALARM AND DESPONDENCY
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on April 29, 2016, 10:36:49 AM
An obscure Frenglish phrase that translates roughly as "cry me a river" (request for: a + larm (misspelled tear) + and + des (some) + pond + CY (city)). These people are seriously poor communicators, don't blame me.

CRY ME A RIVER
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on April 29, 2016, 02:43:46 PM
A good phrase to use when dumping a lover. It is to the point, short enough to send by SMS, and has the benefit of ambiguity just in case you change your mind after pressing send.

THE GAME'S AFOOT


Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Gyppo on April 30, 2016, 03:24:10 AM
A folding travel board game vaguely akin to Cluedo, featuring Holmes and Watson, which is exactly 12" square when opened out to play.

SHE'S NO BETTER THAN SHE SHOULD BE.
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on May 01, 2016, 07:16:25 AM
Phrase of reassurance given to those who worry that some greedy-guts might be hogging all the goodness, thereby preventing themselves from being as good as they should be. While gazing jealously and forlornly upon such an exemplary specimen, their friends reassure them with this phrase, which means that, although the person is very very good, they have still left sufficient goodness in the immediate environs for everyone else to be as good as they should be.

AS GOOD AS IT GETS
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on May 01, 2016, 07:27:21 AM
At some subsequent juncture, some greedy-guts manages to snaffle all the goodness left in the immediate environs, leaving the evil and apathetic ...

UP SHIT CREEK WITHOUT A PADDLE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on May 01, 2016, 08:36:08 AM
Heaven for faecophiles and scatologists.

AS THE CROW FLIES
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on May 01, 2016, 08:54:51 AM
A group of crows, a murder, will scatter at the sound of gunshot. While watching the dominant bird take flight, one can determine who killed the pastor's wife in the next village by simply watching the bird take to the air. It's elementary, really.



PISS AND VINEGAR
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on May 01, 2016, 11:08:17 AM
The recipe for american beer.

PETER PIPER PICKED A PECK OF PICKLED PEPPERS
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on May 02, 2016, 04:34:49 AM
Statement of fact. Not a particularly important fact, but undeniable in its veracity.

HEART OF GOLD
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on May 02, 2016, 05:21:52 PM
The worst chocolate in the selection box.

I BEG YOUR PARDON!!!! I NEVER PROMISED "YOU" A ROSE GARDEN!!!!!
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on May 03, 2016, 05:44:37 AM
Expression of contrition for not doing something someone would expect as standard. As we all know, it is common to promise new friends rose gardens, usually within 30 minutes of meeting them. Forgetting to do so is clumsy at best, and punishable by death in some countries. The expression has spilt over into less offensive omissions, like forgetting to clean up your dog poo or having an affair with your neighbour's wife. Roughly it means, "I am ever so sorry, and hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me"

I HOPE YOU CAN FIND IT IN YOUR HEART
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on May 03, 2016, 05:57:30 AM
When you are having a conversation with your cardiologist about your missing stent. If it is found in your kidney or hanging out of an orifice, it will need to be glued back into place (after being rinsed.)

PEEL ME A GRAPE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on May 04, 2016, 07:34:14 AM
Slang for "show me a boob"

POUR OIL ON TROUBLED WATERS
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on May 04, 2016, 08:21:10 AM
A song by Simon and Garfunkel that needed some work before it became a hit.

AS THICK AS A WHALE OMELETTE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on May 04, 2016, 09:07:29 AM
I'm sorry, this is getting silly.  Whoever heard of a whale laying eggs? 

AS DOTTY AS DUNDEE CAKE



Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on May 04, 2016, 09:40:27 AM
I'm sorry, this is getting silly.  Whoever heard of a whale laying eggs?

All creatures lay eggs. Though I must say cat eggs are not as chocolatey as they appear.

AS DOTTY AS DUNDEE CAKE

A person who insists on wearing an almond hat.

HE TOLD US NOT TO BLOW IT.



Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on May 04, 2016, 06:18:23 PM
Monica Lewinsky's report on her orientation on her first day as a White House intern. Apparently, she did not follow this advise.



TAKE IT FROM ME
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on May 05, 2016, 02:19:51 AM
The title of a song about a technophobe who was raped by a robot and gave birth to a machine-child. Subsequent verses explore the ensuing torment over whether she should raise the child or get the local computer repair shop to take out the batteries.

NINE OUT OF TEN CATS PREFER IT.

Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on May 05, 2016, 09:16:57 AM
Hipster response to a question about Starbucks.




THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on May 05, 2016, 09:22:43 AM
The answer to the question, who will be here to pay for the pre apocalypse bar tab?

COME HELL OR HIGH WATER.
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on May 05, 2016, 11:01:32 AM
Sex after the Apocalypse. Well, for some, I suppose.



HERE COMES THE BRIDE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on May 05, 2016, 02:15:27 PM
All creatures lay eggs. Though I must say cat eggs are not as chocolatey as they appear.


Mark - time for new glasses.

Needlework sampler over the headboard in the bridal suite.

IT'S A DOG'S LIFE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on May 06, 2016, 04:29:47 AM
Expression that means life is easy-peasy and full of joy. You don't need to work (or if you do, it's doing something you love anyway, like chasing sheep), you get fed, loved unconditionally and tummy rubbed on demand while you sit around looking cute and licking your own privates.

SMOKE ME A KIPPER
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on May 06, 2016, 06:41:49 AM
Slang for a shared blunt.




CROCODILE TEARS
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on May 06, 2016, 09:33:07 AM
Anything tears if you apply enough force.  A crocodile tears if you attach a D-7 to each end and drive off in opposite directions.

THE OPPOSABLE THUMB
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on May 06, 2016, 09:57:22 AM
Your thumb wrestling opponent.



TIME FLIES
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Gyppo on May 06, 2016, 10:27:08 AM
Amazing small mechanical insects which hover around clocks, just as fruit flies gather around a banana.

BANDANA
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on May 06, 2016, 10:42:26 AM
One of those peculiar words that doubles as a phrase ;)

THE WORLD IN A GRAIN OF SAND
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on May 06, 2016, 02:26:09 PM
It is not yet clear to cosmologists whether there is any such thing as a universal scale.  What we perceive as a planet may be perceived by some other species as a piece of rock of that peculiarly annoying size that can find its way in through the holes in your sandals but can't find its way out again.  If there is substance to this theory, it is entirely possible that Morecambe beach is in fact a universe in which every grain of sand is itself a tiny world, populated by infinitely tiny people who have no idea of the fact.

TO WEAR ONE'S HEART ON ONE'S SLEEVE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Simple Things on May 06, 2016, 02:34:42 PM
After the population took a deep dip into stress, heart attacks became so frequent that it became law to wear one on the sleeve in order for easy access by paramedics. Easily detachable, they were quickly swapped when the need appeared - which brought gave strength to another well worn saying

I'D GIVE YOU THE SHIRT OFF OF MY BACK
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on May 07, 2016, 09:38:47 AM
"Giving the shirt" means to give someone short shrift (see also "to get shirty" with someone). This command emphasises that the speaker is fed up with the person he is addressing, by adding a "get off my back!" command. Literally it means, leave me alone, before I get nasty with you.

YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on May 07, 2016, 10:01:26 AM
Usually said this a sneer, this is always true. Who in the hell likes angry people. Dammit! I'm talking to you. Don't roll your eyes at me, buster. I'm not going to put up with this crap much longer.

I'm not sure why I don't have many friends.



SUGAR AND SPICE AND EVERYTHING NICE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on May 07, 2016, 05:59:06 PM
Composition of little girls up until 1951. Then scientists discovered that you couldn't make viable tissues and organs from these materials, and so girls started to be made of flesh, blood and bone just like boys.

DON'T PUT ALL YOUR EGGS IN ONE BASKET
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on May 07, 2016, 06:29:55 PM
When visiting a fertility clinic in preparation for IVF, they harvest eggs and then put them somewhere. When this first started and Joy Louise was made up in a petri dish, they had no idea what to do with any leftover eggs. At first, they just put them in a basket, but it was found that this did not work well, especially if there were several leftover eggs, you know, enough for an omelette or something. So some wiseass printed out this sign and hung it over the refrigerator in the break room, just as a reminder.




EVERY CLOUD HAS A SILVER LINING
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on May 08, 2016, 03:48:48 AM
Well, obviously. If the clouds weren't lined, the sun would show through. Silver is simply a traditional colour, chosen as it goes so well with blue and white.

STARS IN THEIR EYES
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on May 08, 2016, 04:09:41 AM
Hit a wannabe celebrity hard enough and this is what they see.

WISH UPON A STAR
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on May 08, 2016, 01:53:03 PM
A new form of celebrity-bashing popular on social media. "Wish" in this context is a portmanteau of "wee" and "pish", so chosen as to not exclude drunkards in Scotland.

SHE TURNS ON A DIME
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on May 09, 2016, 03:25:02 AM
Yes, you spotted it - the missing word is "for".

THE FACE THAT LAUNCHED A THOUSAND SHIPS
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Gyppo on May 09, 2016, 04:19:18 AM
A saying in memory of Fiona McHaggard, a rampant Shetland virgin so fearsomely ugly that every young man on the island chain, as soon as he became old enough to attract her attention, would secretly build a small ship and escape to the mainland.  The ships were probably only numbered in the hundreds, but legends grow with the telling.

There is an alternative suggestion the saying refers to Tracy (Spotty) LLewellyn, a thirty five stone behemoth of a woman who regularly 'lunched on a thousand chips'.  But folk etymologists, whilst amused by this tale, rather doubt it's veracity because the numbers seem far too low.

ONE OVER THE EIGHT
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on May 09, 2016, 01:57:36 PM
A very strong or skilled warrior. Such a person can take on more than eight adversaries of equal size.

PACKED LIKE SARDINES
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on May 09, 2016, 02:06:20 PM
The University Boat-Race is often a close-run thing.  So when one of the teams - to spare their blushes I won't say who, except that it was either Oxford or Cambridge - left the other so far behind that they were not only in the bar when their opponents finished, they'd had time to nip home and change into tuxedos, the referee was moved to study closely (ie with his glasses on) the video replay.  He discovered that the "victors" had in fact smuggled an extra oarsman on board, disguising him by pulling stroke's jumper over his head.  But there was no doubt about it: they were one over the eight, and were eliminated for cheating.  Interestingly enough, representatives of most of the financial institutions in the City of London lined up to offer jobs to all nine of them.

TWINKLE, TWINKLE LITTLE STAR

ps: Sorry, Amie, simultaneous application of digits.  So

PACKED LIKE SARDINES

None of the smaller fish are particularly well known for their ability to stow their gear efficiently into a suitcase.  But the sardine is probably the worst at it: he never uses tissue-paper between the folds, and his toothpaste always leaks into his sandals.  To have packed like sardines, therefore, is to have made a pig's ear of the job.

Er... TWINKLE, TWINKLE etc

Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on May 11, 2016, 06:32:13 PM
White Dwarf stars have an inferiority complex and often feel insignificant next to the Red Giants. They attempt to put out some of the fire by tinkling on the bigger members. It is seen as uncouth and unsportsmanlike and so the Ws were added to soften the distasteful action.



ONWARD AND UPWARDS
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on May 12, 2016, 01:47:45 AM
An incomplete list of places you might find some nurses. Other places include, inwards, outwards, and canteens.

AS DRUNK AS A SKUNK
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on May 12, 2016, 12:48:31 PM
Sad commentary on the prevalence of alcohol abuse amongst the striking black and white striped mammals. Much maligned for their odour, they drown their sorrow and loneliness in wood alcohol. Government agencies once tried to set up counselling sessions, but the skunks would rarely turn up, and so other, more cost-effective, uses were found for public funding.

CROWD FUNDING
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on May 12, 2016, 02:05:02 PM
There's nothing so tragic as a morose mob.  Anything that will give them a little fun is worth financing.

SUGAR AND SPICE AND ALL THINGS NICE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on May 13, 2016, 09:37:40 AM
Shopping list for woman plotting to slowly poison her Type 1 diabetic husband.

TAIL WAGGING THE DOG
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on May 14, 2016, 04:21:52 AM
A yoga position that is allegedly good for the hips.

I SEE A LITTLE SILHOUETTO OF A MAN.
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Gyppo on May 15, 2016, 05:49:09 AM
A song which runs through a sniper's head when shooting at 1000 yards plus.  Particularly appropriate when using a night sight.

GYPSY ROVER

Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on May 15, 2016, 12:01:31 PM
A 4 X 4 made form pegs.

NEVER VOLUNTEER FOR ANYTHING
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on May 15, 2016, 05:59:49 PM
Be specific when you volunteer. "Anything" just leaves the field too wide open.

NEITHER NOWT NOR SUMMAT
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on May 16, 2016, 01:41:11 AM
A man with a speech impediment advising on the likelihood of Yorkshireman buying a round.

MY CUP RUNNETH OVER
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mister URL on May 17, 2016, 12:51:15 PM
An athlete's boast that his gear is too large for his protective cup.


THERE AIN'T NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH.
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on May 18, 2016, 09:57:25 AM
All lunches occupy time which could otherwise be free, therefore (much like trying to eat your cake and still have it) you cannot both have your lunch and have that time free too.

EAT YOUR CAKE AND HAVE IT TOO
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on May 18, 2016, 10:27:16 AM
This is so perverted I'm not even willing to describe it. I will say though, that chocolate éclairs work best!

WHO DARES WINS
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on May 19, 2016, 11:30:05 AM
Variant of "Who's on first" - this time, Mr Who has branched out to challenging Mr Wins. Mr Wins is well-known for his ineffectualness.

SUITS YOU SIR!
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on May 20, 2016, 06:37:42 AM
Like Toys R Us but where they sell cheap formal menswear.



THE MORE THE MERRIER
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on May 23, 2016, 12:14:13 PM
My motto on aircraft ownership.

ALL ANIMALS ARE EQUAL, BUT SOME ARE MORE EQUAL THAN OTHERS.
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on May 26, 2016, 06:55:13 AM
Donald Trump's motto on everything.



SOMETIMES YOU FEEL LIKE A NUT; SOMETIMES YOU DON'T
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on May 26, 2016, 08:53:07 AM
The motto of the wives of the mono-testicular club.

FAINT HEART NEVER WON FAIR MAIDEN
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on May 26, 2016, 09:30:16 AM
If you are an old coot with a bad heart, you aren't going to attract any Victoria Secret models. If you have a lot of money, that might work. That will often help with fair or even unfair maidens.




WHAT'S THE MAGIC WORD?


Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on May 26, 2016, 03:11:47 PM
Clumsy attempt by the uninitiated to learn the secrets of the illuminati.

BULL IN A CHINA SHOP
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on May 26, 2016, 06:09:05 PM
Happens every twelfth year in every single store in Chinatown when it suddenly switches ti the year of the Ox and locals don't know the difference between the two animals.



YANKEE DOODLE DANDY
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on May 28, 2016, 03:40:09 AM
Comment from foreign language student expressing surprise at the easy artistic talent of a Bostonian

THE LONG ARM OF THE LAW
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on May 28, 2016, 07:09:06 AM
James Arness of Gunsmoke fame wasn't just tall, but had an exceptional reach, especially when Festus was acting up. It became a routine kitschy thing and was so overused during the years of filming that it became an idiomatic usage around the world.



LIFE IS LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on June 02, 2016, 02:56:30 AM
One of the worst forms of torture ever dreamt up by the CIA. If water boarding doesn't work, they force a toffee up your bum, drench you in boiling brown stuff, glue an almond on your head and keep you in a box under the stairs until Christmas. Bastards!

SLEEPING LIKE A LOG.

Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on July 09, 2016, 12:04:52 AM
Bizarre form of ritual torture whereby people sleep out in the nude on the forest floor, while woodlice, spiders and other invertebrates burrow into their skin.

EASIER THAN YOU THINK
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on July 09, 2016, 03:32:57 AM
Since most people find it very difficult to think, this is a bit ironic: it means, It'll be difficult, but probably not as difficult as explaining to you what you have to do.

PATIENCE ON A MONUMENT
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on November 03, 2016, 03:21:33 PM
Card game played in Trafalgar Square.

THE WHOLE KIT AND KABOODLE

Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on November 04, 2016, 07:20:26 AM
What cannibals will eat, when the local missionary is called Christopher and there's a bunch of other stuff in the pot to add roughage.

PUSHING UP DAISIES
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on November 04, 2016, 07:38:26 AM
exercise for the very weak.

LIVE BY THE SWORD, DIE BY THE SWORD
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: DGSquared on November 20, 2016, 06:50:04 AM
Pretending to desire to live by the gospel of Matthew, the warring townspeople of Trumpopolouse put all of their weaponry in an actual war chest in the center of town and bound it closed with locks and chains, vowing to never take up arms against each other or anyone else. However, their leader was untrustworthy which bred distrust in each other, so, everyone stubbornly refused to leave the war chest where, eventually, the entire population died of starvation.






  FAIR TO MIDDLING



Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on November 20, 2016, 09:54:43 AM
A metaphor, meaning to slump into dullness.  Middling was the most centrally located village in the English midlands, occupied mostly by middle-aged, middle-class people with middle-of-the-road political views.  When the fair came to the neighbouring village of St Audrey's, all the residents of Middling let their hair down and went.  But after the carousel and the coconut-shy and the candyfloss were packed away, they had to return home, feeling with every step the despair of being swallowed up by their unrelentingly ordinary lives.

DON'T LET THE BUGS BITE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on November 21, 2016, 05:32:53 AM
Show of faith amongst would-be sorcerers, demonstrates belief that addressee can directly affect the natural world through force of will.

FORCE OF WILL
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on November 21, 2016, 11:18:27 AM
William StClair Fosdyke was commander of the smallest regiment in British army history.  It was known as the Force of Will, and was sent in when the only kind of victory imaginable was a noble defeat.  In spite of this, the Force of Will kept coming back for more.  It played a significant part in the Battle of Waterloo by misdirecting one of Napoleon's crack cavalry troops, helped relieve Ladysmith by blacking-up and pretending to be Zulus, and fatally undermined German morale by actually hanging out its washing on the Siegfried Line in WW1. The moral is, you should never underestimate what can be achieved by Force of Will. 

ONE LUMP OR TWO?
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on November 21, 2016, 03:39:22 PM
In the days of Chivalry, when men were gallant and all that stuff, they would ask an opponent how much of a beating they were expecting before launching into an attack. It must be noted that the knight on horseback had a distinct advantage over a serf with a pitchfork.



CANARY IN A COAL MINE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on November 22, 2016, 02:15:16 PM
A corruption of "canard in a coal mine", a reference to the fast that the early coal miners were also rampant gossip-mongers. These days, many miners try to claim that they keep canaries as pets, and bring them into the mines on "bring your pet" day, but most people recognise it for the canard that it is.

GIVE HIM AN INCH AND HE'LL TAKE A MILE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on November 26, 2016, 08:58:48 AM
What runners who hate to run believe. All measurements seems to stretch to infinity and a "short" jog can take days and days to complete, or at least feel like it. The exact number of inches one intends to run gets turned into miles and miles and miles of boring oblivion.


RUNNER'S HIGH
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on November 27, 2016, 09:38:14 AM
It is of course vitally important to adjust the runners of your new bob-sleigh before taking it on the Cresta Run.  If adjusted too low, they will dig in and ruin the surface; if too high, the vehicle may take off on the corners.  The above comment was made by a fellow competitor as the famously impatient Swedish tobogganer Oop-Oop Anaway sailed clean over his head in the direction of a stand of fir-trees.

YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on November 27, 2016, 11:14:15 AM
Mantra sung by advertisers which leaves people who purchase a bag of potato chips or crisps or whatever your place of residence calls fried and salted thin slices of potatoes - when you realize that what you mostly bought was a bag of air with very few whole chips and many, many more crumbs. Delicious, greasy crumbs to be sure, but difficult to dip.



ONE MORE FOR THE ROAD.
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Amie on November 29, 2016, 05:12:19 PM
A comment on the fact that there is one moral code when you are at home, and often a totally different one when you are on the road. A variant of "when in Rome".

WHEN IN ROME
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on December 03, 2016, 07:01:05 AM
... Do what the Romans say they do rather than what they actually do, which is pretty much the same as everyone else.

A GIRL IN EVERY PORT
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on December 06, 2016, 08:28:01 AM
Women at a wine tasting party.



ROCK AND ROLL
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on December 06, 2016, 09:00:59 AM
A form of opportunist mugging carried out by someone with a stone they found lying around.

BETTER THE DEVIL YOU KNOW
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on December 06, 2016, 01:03:12 PM
Enjoying coffee/tea with Mark H



TOO BIG FOR HIS BRITCHES
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on December 07, 2016, 02:12:30 PM
Is struggling with his weight.  As distinct from "Too big for his bitches" - which is also struggling with his weight, but much more fun.

A STITCH IN TIME
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on December 08, 2016, 09:07:14 AM
Owning a TARDIS and traveling the universe in every direction




GO TELL IT ON THE MOUNTAIN
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on December 08, 2016, 12:02:08 PM
Slogan of the information technology company set up by the famous Swiss apple-splitter.

I'LL HAVE WHAT SHE'S HAVING
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jefferson on December 12, 2016, 02:26:29 PM
What the rake said to the lesbian.

"There is nothing to fear but fear itself."
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on December 14, 2016, 04:28:53 AM
The last words of a bear-hugger.

GET YOUR COAT, YOU'VE PULLED
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on December 14, 2016, 08:40:02 AM
Last words to a CrossFitter as they are loaded into an ambulance after a too heavy deadlift.




BETTER THE DEVIL YOU KNOW
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on December 15, 2016, 02:22:26 PM
The devil is the joint between the deck and the freeboard of a wooden ship.  It is notoriously hard to make watertight, but the task is a little easier if the caulker is familiar with the vessel and how much she "works" when at sea.

A WOLF IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on January 28, 2017, 07:49:34 AM
One of the more bizarre Halloween costumes where a hooker is dressed as a nurse in order to lure in the more sedate (well, after she "doctors" his drink) party goers.


IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jia Ming on August 10, 2017, 12:41:05 PM
A 4 hour maths lecture.

FALLING WHILE JUMPING
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on August 10, 2017, 02:17:45 PM
Also known as "horse riding".

HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: DGSquared on August 16, 2017, 08:49:05 AM

The slogan for Hope, a mattress company that sells mattresses to mortuaries and mausoleums.




A BIRD IN THE HAND IS WORTH TWO IN THE BUSH



Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on August 17, 2017, 03:04:39 AM
A reference to a long-standing rivalry between two East End pubs, the Helping Hand and the Holly Bush.  The Hand was generally held to have the best barmaids and the Bush to have the best beer.  The saying reflects the comparative weight given to women and alcoholic beverages by the average male punter.

I'LL GO TO THE FOOT OF OUR STAIRS!
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Mark H on August 17, 2017, 03:25:42 AM
A phrase used by mother-in-laws (and no doubt other mad women) who refuse to say the word bottom because it is a rude word.

IT AIN'T NECESSARILY SNOW.
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: DGSquared on November 15, 2017, 04:50:18 AM
Just because it's white and sticky doesn't mean you can make a good snowman out of it.



 ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL.
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on November 15, 2017, 10:55:33 AM
The slogan of the International Dowsing Association.

MAKE MINE A DOUBLE
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on November 16, 2017, 07:13:05 AM
A woman buying a bra after her post-mastectomy reconstructive surgery.



COME ONE; COME ALL
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on November 17, 2017, 09:55:03 AM
Advertisement for an orgy.

JOURNEY'S END
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on November 30, 2017, 06:59:30 AM
The plot of Terminal Man



SPRING IS IN THE AIR
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on November 30, 2017, 09:36:59 AM
Slogan of the Kangaroos' Union.

APRIL SHOWERS
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on November 30, 2017, 12:38:50 PM
Porn advertisement for some chick in a bathroom




BRING MAY FLOWERS
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on November 30, 2017, 03:21:08 PM
Reminder texted to the dim guy who brought May's plainer sister Myrtle Flowers to the last party.

ALL ONE'S EGGS IN ONE BASKET

Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on November 30, 2017, 07:17:46 PM
Where Humpty Dumpty sat when not on a wall.



MADE IN HEAVEN
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on December 01, 2017, 02:32:42 PM
Becoming a Vestal Virgin was an anxious process, so the organisers learned to put aside a room where candidates could settle their stomachs and recover their nerve in private.  Unfortunately, they left it to the least sensitive and also least literate of their functionaries to come up with a suitable sign for the door.

CALL ME A CAB
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Spell Chick on December 03, 2017, 06:49:38 AM
A psychological pathology in which someone believes they are an inanimate object. A book about a man thinking he was a hat was written on this subject. These patients will insist they be called by their preferred object, even to the point of shouting at you to do so.



YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH
Title: Re: Define "something and nothing"
Post by: Jo Bannister on December 04, 2017, 09:06:47 AM
"Truth" of Liverpool was a famous clipper sailing first on the China tea run, later bringing wool home from Australia.  She was a fast but notoriously difficult ship, wet even in moderate seas and prone to boring up into the wind.  No one was appointed her master without first doing a good job as mate.  So many a seasoned skipper was turned away by her owners with the following words:  "You may have been round the Horn as often as an albatross, sir, but you can't handle the 'Truth'."

I CAME, I SAW, I CONQUERED