My Writers Circle

The Coffee Shop => Writing Games & Challenges => Topic started by: Gyppo on November 18, 2015, 07:57:05 PM

Title: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Gyppo on November 18, 2015, 07:57:05 PM
The object of the game is to take a well known phrase or idiom, and add a few extra words or a line to twist it.  Maybe just change one word if it does the job.  For example...

Give me a fish and you feed me for a day.
Teach me to fish and I'll have food for my lifetime,
and the bloody environmentalists will give me grief.


I'm sure you can do better.

Gyppo
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: fire-fly on November 18, 2015, 09:01:56 PM
To be, or not to be....

Is that really a question?
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Jo Bannister on November 19, 2015, 03:57:18 AM
It is better to light a flame-thrower than to curse the darkness.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: thatollie on November 19, 2015, 06:44:18 AM
If a man uses one candle instead of two at night, he won't be able to read. If he can't read, he can't learn. If he doesn't learn, then he risks his future earnings by making poor decisions. It is better to spend the money on the extra candle than lose out on all that wealth of knowledge.

Or, he could turn on the lights. In fact, that's probably better, candlelight is pretty dark.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Spell Chick on November 19, 2015, 07:38:25 AM
A closed mouth catches no flies.
 Italian Proverb

A closed mouth catches no pate de foie gras.
 Gourmand Proverb
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Jo Bannister on November 20, 2015, 04:00:09 AM
Look before you leap - unless it's a really big jump, in which case shut your eyes and hope your horse is looking at it.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: 510bhan on November 20, 2015, 05:17:03 AM
Many a true word spoken in jest  . . . in vino veritas . . .

Laughing drunks don't do dishonesty, hear their slur
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Gyppo on November 20, 2015, 06:01:43 AM
There are no keys to the Gates of Hell, all men may enter freely.  But fiction writers will still want their characters to pick the lock.

=====

All men dream but not equally...  T E Lawrence.  Some are always woken just before the best bits by their alarm clock.

=====
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Laura H on November 20, 2015, 07:04:29 AM
Wherever you go, there you are. Unless you don't have GPS, then you could be anywhere.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Jo Bannister on November 22, 2015, 10:12:12 AM
If a thing's worth doing, it's worth doing badly.  If we only did things we can do well, most people would starve and most books would remain unwritten.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Mark H on November 22, 2015, 10:17:17 AM
No man is a traffic island.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Gyppo on November 22, 2015, 12:07:58 PM
If a thing's worth doing, it's worth doing badly.  If we only did things we can do well, most people would starve and most books would remain unwritten.

Love it.  Good solid competence eats regularly whilst genius starves.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Mark H on November 23, 2015, 02:49:55 AM
Don't throw the baby lotion, the mermaid costume, and the startled penguin, out with the bath-water.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Jo Bannister on November 23, 2015, 10:34:50 AM
My old editor had two favourite sayings, both with much the same inference of time being wasted: "This won't bath any babies" and "This won't butter any parsnips."  I tend to combine them - "This won't butter any babies" - and frequently earn some very odd looks.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: thatollie on December 28, 2016, 07:53:16 PM
Tell me a story and I'll sleep for one night; teach me how to read and I'll never sleep ever again.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Gyppo on December 28, 2016, 08:56:57 PM
Everyone has a least one book in them, but for some people, perhaps mercifully, the pages are blank.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Mark H on December 29, 2016, 04:14:41 AM
Come rain or come slightly less rain.

but ...

Every clown has a sliver pie-ring.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: thatollie on December 29, 2016, 03:10:09 PM
never go full researcher.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Mark H on December 29, 2016, 03:33:32 PM
A bird in the hand ... is probably just foreplay.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Arkie on January 04, 2017, 08:45:05 PM
The only certainties in life are death and editing.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Laura H on January 04, 2017, 10:19:51 PM
Do unto others as much as you can without getting caught.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Gavin.Marconi on January 06, 2017, 01:52:40 PM
Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, damn you're good!
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: heidi52 on January 06, 2017, 02:15:37 PM
The grass is always greener when it's astroturf.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Mark H on January 06, 2017, 02:35:44 PM
Nellie the elephant trumped his trump and shat all over the union.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Gavin.Marconi on January 06, 2017, 03:06:41 PM
Take what I say with a pinch of salt and a strong tequila.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Arkie on January 08, 2017, 09:25:09 PM
April showers will bring tornadoes.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: JewelAS53 on January 09, 2017, 03:28:55 AM
The early bird catches the worm
The early worm - gets eaten  :o
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Gavin.Marconi on January 09, 2017, 03:47:47 PM
Rob Peter for practise before robbing Paul
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Spell Chick on January 11, 2017, 07:06:40 AM
This, too, shall pass gas. (printed on disposable adult diapers)
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Arkie on January 11, 2017, 08:39:39 PM
One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to make sure the lights are off and the door is locked.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Jo Bannister on January 12, 2017, 04:31:51 AM
There's many a slip twixt the cup and the lip - especially if the cup's full of gin.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Spell Chick on January 12, 2017, 08:05:37 AM
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

[insert list from Kamasutra]
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Gavin.Marconi on January 12, 2017, 08:50:10 AM
Don't beat off around the bush, you will be arrested for public lewdness.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Arkie on January 15, 2017, 05:04:08 PM
A watched pot still boils and sometimes boils over.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Jo Bannister on January 16, 2017, 03:13:11 PM
A stitch in time means you've been running too fast.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Spell Chick on January 17, 2017, 09:05:09 AM
In for a penny, you cheap bastard. What's with just penny ante poker night?
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Gavin.Marconi on January 17, 2017, 09:42:03 AM
You might want to get rid of that chip on your shoulder. No, really, there's a chipmunk on your shoulder!
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Jo Bannister on January 19, 2017, 11:25:11 AM
The wages of sin is death - but the hours are good.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Gyppo on January 21, 2017, 12:00:05 PM
All men dream but not equally, for some do it whilst driving and thus their dreams are curtailed.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Spell Chick on January 22, 2017, 08:26:22 AM
All that glitters is not zirconium
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Jo Bannister on January 22, 2017, 09:17:56 AM
Shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted will stop it coming home and make you buy a nice little car instead.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Gyppo on January 22, 2017, 10:35:20 AM
You can't bolt the stable door by dropping a carrot through the hasp.

Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Spell Chick on January 22, 2017, 10:37:50 AM
It is better to light a candle than to use one of the newfangled light bulbs that take forever to light.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Jo Bannister on January 23, 2017, 06:04:26 AM
Paddle your own canoe - but if it's someone else's canoe, steal an outboard engine as well.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Gyppo on January 23, 2017, 06:55:20 AM
Teach a man to fish and you'll keep the tackle manufacturers in business.

Teach a man to make his own tackle and they won't see him for years.  (And probably neither will his wife.)
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Spell Chick on January 23, 2017, 11:06:29 AM
Anti-theft packaging makes waste.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Gavin.Marconi on January 25, 2017, 09:01:24 AM
Actions speak louder than words; especially if you wear brass knuckles.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Gavin.Marconi on January 27, 2017, 12:57:26 PM
It's better to be pissed off, than pissed on; unless you're into water sports.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Spell Chick on January 28, 2017, 07:45:10 AM
Frankly, Scarrlett, I don't mind you wearing the curtains so much, but please take the rod out of the shoulders.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Jo Bannister on January 28, 2017, 10:00:16 AM
Tomorrow is another day.  Or did you know that already?

Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Gyppo on January 28, 2017, 10:03:34 AM
The past is a foreign land, they do things differently there.  But at least they speak the same language.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Spell Chick on January 28, 2017, 01:05:28 PM
Make your own bed, fluff the pillows, nap on the couch.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Jo Bannister on January 29, 2017, 09:03:20 AM
It takes all sorts to make a world.  I'm one of the sorts it takes all of.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Spell Chick on January 29, 2017, 09:14:13 AM
Singing in the rain, because some rat bastard stole my umbrella.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: thatollie on January 29, 2017, 02:09:23 PM
People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw... well, pretty much anything.

Better late than never, unless you're four hours late and completely hammered. Then, you should probably just phone in sick.

There is no such thing as a free lunch, unless you root around in the trash.

There's no place like home. Everywhere else, the weirdos don't know you.

Never look a gift horse in the mouth unless you're from Troy.

You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs, because the bit of the egg you're supposed to eat is on the inside. So, maybe you shouldn't throw them on the floor.

Those who help themselves don't need god to help them.

If it isn't broke, don't fix it. Unless it performs so poorly that it's affecting your business.

Don't bite the hand that feeds you, unless it also bitch slaps you.

If you can't beat 'em, leave 'em alone and they'll probably get bored of you.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Gyppo on January 29, 2017, 02:38:38 PM
Never look a gift horse in the mouth unless you're from Troy.

Nice list, Ollie.  But checking the mouth of the wooden horse wouldn't have helped because the troops were hidden in the belly.  Allegedly.

=====

Why are missing objects always in the last place you look?  Because only an idiot would carry on looking after they'd found whatever was missing.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Jo Bannister on January 30, 2017, 01:56:41 PM
People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw... well, pretty much anything.


Those who help themselves don't need god to help them.


Dis my favourite!

So... It takes a dyslexic agnostic insomniac to lie awake nights wondering if there is a dog.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: thatollie on February 11, 2017, 06:04:56 PM
When in Rome, do as the Romans do... practice centuries of Christian oppression.

One man's treasure is another man's trash.

Necessity is the mother of asking random strangers for money.

A penny saved is still just a penny.

If you can't judge a book by it's cover, then its cover failed to convey whether you would like it or not.

Good things come to people, some of them waited for it.

The grass is always greener on the side where the sun shines.

If you want something done right, you should hire someone who knows how to do it right.

Don't put your eggs in one basket. Unless they're literal eggs, then one basket is probably the right number.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: DGSquared on February 14, 2017, 12:38:24 AM
Hoof in mouth disease is tripping all over yourself while you're busy opening your mouth only to change feet. You become a rolling stone with no time to floss.

Dyslexics untie! (Not mine but a personal favorite.)

Two birds in the hand are better than two in the bush. If you like handling birds.

The early bird catches the worm but that doesn't mean she has to eat it.

The early bird catches the fish according to Grandpa.

Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: DGSquared on February 14, 2017, 12:46:33 AM
You can lead a horse to water but you can't keep a pirate out of the rum.

Easy come. Easy went home.


Fishers of men are Coast Guard rescuers and lifeguards.

People who live in glass houses don't like it when the wind kicks up or it's hailing outside. They don't like it when it's hailing inside either. Just saying.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Jo Bannister on February 14, 2017, 04:14:07 AM
The early bird catches the worm - but the early worm gets eaten.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: thatollie on March 14, 2017, 12:04:16 AM
Two wrongs don't make three lefts.

The pen is mightier than the sword, unless you're in a sword fight, then I suggest bringing a gun.

The squeaky wheel gets replaced.

Birds of a feather flock together, unless they're introverts then they flock separately.

If you would just stop keeping your enemies so close, maybe they'd forget about you and move on.

Actions speak louder than words, unless you're doing something really quietly.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: DGSquared on March 14, 2017, 04:37:06 AM
Even when it's raining you can look up and see the bright side - but it will probably rain up your nose.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Gavin.Marconi on March 15, 2017, 08:11:38 AM
Why cut corners when you can cut throats instead?
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Spell Chick on March 16, 2017, 06:52:04 AM
Raining bats and hogs
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: DGSquared on March 21, 2017, 03:47:12 AM
Like a wish out of fodder.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: DGSquared on March 21, 2017, 03:49:00 AM
When the going gets tough the tough hire the meek to do the heavy lifting.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Jo Bannister on March 21, 2017, 05:06:29 AM
Life's a bowl of cherries - one good bite and you'll probably lose a tooth.

Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Gavin.Marconi on March 23, 2017, 02:23:48 PM
In like a lion, out like a lamb chop
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: DRP22 on March 23, 2017, 02:39:01 PM

If I had a nickel for every time someone asked me that, I'd be making money in a very strange way. (not an original)

The truth will set you free... unless you're confessing to a felony. Now that I'm think about it, go with the lie.

You've made your bed. Now you must lie in it. Unless you're sharing it at a Bed Wetters Anonymous Slumber Party. Sleeping on the floor might be a nice change of pace.

Rome wasn't built in a day--and look how they turned out. Get it done, already!

Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: DRP22 on March 23, 2017, 02:40:29 PM
I'm not a bad shrimp. I'm just prawn that way.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Gavin.Marconi on March 23, 2017, 03:19:52 PM
If you look a gift horse in the mouth, you might lose your nose as they are known to bite.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Gyppo on March 23, 2017, 03:26:16 PM
Rome wasn't built in a day, but only because I wasn't Foreman on that job,

Gyppo's Dad
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: DGSquared on March 24, 2017, 05:28:04 AM
A penny saved is nothing more than a penny saved. I've never known of a bank to double your interest.

A penny saved is a penny not burned.

A Penny shaved is a Penny (razor) burned.

Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Jo Bannister on March 24, 2017, 10:22:38 AM
Look after Penny, but don't expect Penny to return the favour.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: DRP22 on March 24, 2017, 10:29:38 AM
Your daily proverb has arrived!

"A penny saved is a penny earned."


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Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Gavin.Marconi on March 24, 2017, 01:54:41 PM
I want the inside scoop, it's where all the fudge swirls are.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: DGSquared on April 04, 2017, 02:53:07 AM
You can lead a horse to water but you can't always keep it from going in for a dip


He who laughs last probably took awhile to get the joke.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 04, 2017, 03:45:38 AM
If at first you don't succeed you're probably doing it wrong.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: DGSquared on April 04, 2017, 05:13:55 AM
Did you ever stop to think and forget to start again?


It's like taking a stick to poke a fight.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Gyppo on April 04, 2017, 10:16:34 AM
He who laughs last is probably German.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: DRP22 on April 04, 2017, 05:12:57 PM
If at first you dun't succeed, try, try again.

Wait. I screwed up. Gimme a sec...

If at fist you don't scuceed, try, try again.

No, that's not right either, is it?

If you don't try, try succeeding with

Shit.

Forget it, I give up.

Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: DGSquared on April 05, 2017, 03:03:43 AM
As my mom used to say, "Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder."

I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

I've never met a gift horse and am perplexed as to why one would want to look any kind of gift giver in the mouth.


Would people be more apt to obey the law if it had a short arm instead of a long one?
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Gyppo on April 05, 2017, 04:59:32 AM
You can lead a horse to drink but you can't make it water.  (One of Mum's sayings.)
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 05, 2017, 09:58:58 AM
Nothing sucks seeds like a toothless budgie.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: DGSquared on April 06, 2017, 04:37:38 AM
Nothing ventured nothing lost.


It's not the destination, it's whether or not you'll find vacancy so you can rest while you are on the way.


Do not cast pearls before swine flu.


Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating a space where no one else can find you.


Strive not to be a success, but rather to stay out of debt.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: DRP22 on April 06, 2017, 10:19:03 AM
Sometimes you gotta risk it, if you want the biscuit.

But if you're not that thrilled about biscuits, better play it safe.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: Jo Bannister on April 07, 2017, 03:36:42 AM
Red sky at night,
shepherd's delight;
red sky in the morning,
he's set fire to his awning.
Title: Re: Twisted: A new game for you word wranglers.
Post by: DGSquared on April 21, 2017, 04:28:12 PM
Duty barks.

He set sail to the dark side of the sun never to reach his destination.