My Writers Circle
The Coffee Shop => The Coffee Shop => Topic started by: bandicootgirl on October 24, 2006, 10:22:19 AM
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why do I have hands?
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so you don't miss when you clap.
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LOL
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Hey - if you want stupid - I'm your man! ;D
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haha :D cool.
why don't you ask another stupid question, PaulW
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Question - Why do dogs have tails?
Questiom - Why is there allways a good film on when I'm in bed?
Just want to see an answer.
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answer: because they want to wag something
answer: I don't know :D
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Why do dogs have tails? To hang onto when they're pulling you on a skateboard.
Why is there allways a good film on when I'm in bed? So people don't watch YOU on their secret cameras while you sleep. ;D
Q: Why do Hyenas laugh?
Q: Why does milk go sour?
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Hyenas laugh because the Devil duck/dragon told them a joke.
Milk goes sour because it doesn't like being in the fridge.
This is very stupid, but it is the best I can do. ???
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hehe yeah, enough for me - I'm gonna go out and work some eeeeeeviilllllll ;D MUAHAHA cya later
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Bye bye.
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Q: Why do Hyenas laugh?
Because they can't believe how ludicrous the giraffes look when dancing
Q: Why does milk go sour?
Because God designed it that way, it says so in the bible, only they mistranslated it and then the editor decided it wasn't central to the story, but honestly, it's true, have faith
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Q Why don't you switch off your television set and go do something less boring instead?
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I've been trying but it won't let me. ???
Are you french go.dot? not a stupid question by the way, I am curious, and nosey.
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Q: Why does milk go sour?
Tsk, don't you know that means there's a hob goblin in the house? It goes sour when they drink straight from the bottle.
What I'd like to know is what are the other 57 varieties?
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What I'd like to know is what are the other 57 varieties?
A: Beans, beans in tomato sauce, beans not in tomato sauce, beans with slimy little sausages, beans without slimy little sausages, beans with spicy sauce, beans without spicy sauce....you get the idea.
Q What is the difference between a duck? (No, that's not a typo)
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Feathers?
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Q What is the difference between a duck? (No, that's not a typo
Something heavy hitting you on the head? ::)
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How does the man who drives the snow plough get to work?
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How does the man who drives the snow plough get to work?
He uses his snow tractor.
Or, if all else fails, his snow combine harvestor.
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How does the man who drives the snow plough get to work?
He ties the legs of 40 doves to little pieces of string, the poor little things are so cold they flap their wings to keep warm, clearing a path through the snow - when they reach the snow plow they are so knackered they just sit in the cab until it's time to take him home again!
Poor liddle doves.
;D
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How does the man who drives the snow plough get to work?
Or he could just hitch up his dragon and use it to melt the snow - of course, then he wouldn't need the plough. :-\
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Why does the elephant have four knees?
How many writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Answers please!
Carrie
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How many writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Lightbulb? Aren't we all still huddling in our garrets with only a candle for company? :D
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Why does the elephant have four knees?
Because it would look silly with 5
How many writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, but it never gets changed - the writer sends off a three chapter submission to the landlord about the need for light, and he returns it attached to a form rejection letter.
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Q Why do bee's hum
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Q Why do bee's hum
Because they don't know the words (groan ;D)
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OK, so what's the speed of dark?
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OK, so what's the speed of dark?
The time it takes someone to turn off the light!
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I was going to say that it must be "-c" (because it retreats as fast as the light advances)
My stupid question is: why has the connection between my brain and mouth stopped working?
(oo, I was going to go into a concrete example of how I somehow seem to have invited a bunch of people over for dinner tonight when the absolute last thing I feel like is being face-to-face sociable -- no spurning meant to my internet friends here ;) -- but then it seemed all heavy and serious -- and oo, I've started rambling again, so I guess I better go down to the shops and start buying some food. Why didn't my brain tell my mouth this morning, when she phoned up to make sure it was okay if they all came round, to say something like, "To be honest, I really don't feel like it". Dumb brain. Dumb mouth.)
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I was going to say that it must be "-c" (because it retreats as fast as the light advances)
My stupid question is: why has the connection between my brain and mouth stopped working?
(oo, I was going to go into a concrete example of how I somehow seem to have invited a bunch of people over for dinner tonight when the absolute last thing I feel like is being face-to-face sociable -- no spurning meant to my internet friends here ;) -- but then it seemed all heavy and serious -- and oo, I've started rambling again, so I guess I better go down to the shops and start buying some food. Why didn't my brain tell my mouth this morning, when she phoned up to make sure it was okay if they all came round, to say something like, "To be honest, I really don't feel like it". Dumb brain. Dumb mouth.)
You see it's all down to ducks. You have the sensible ducks in your mind that paddle around happily, just giving the occasional quack - and these run the normal part of your mind.
Then there's Boris the evil duck. He's the one who likes to dive-bomb the other ducks so they scatter and then says stupid things down the mouth connection. By the time the other, sensible ducks come back it's too late and the damage is done. Then Boris sits on his perch (he wants to be a budgie not a duck) and laughs at them, this irritates the other ducks immensely making them even more resistant to the idea he has forced on them. The trouble is they're nice ducks and don't want to gang up on Boris and give him the thrashing he richly deserves.
You asked. ;D
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And the speed of dark is zero - it's too lazy to move, it just waits for the light to go away. It also likes hiding in corners and peeking at you when you sleep. It hides in bags too and mixes up all your stuff. Nasty stuff dark.
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Why did my television go off last nigh in the bad weather?
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Electrical storms disrupt signal, mine goes off a lot in bad weather.
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Hey, Paul, Is that a Captain Kirk duck?
Any 'Spock' ducks in the collection?
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Nope and Nope. 'Cos they're in the future and haven't been invented yet! ;D
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Why is there such a thing as writers block? ;)
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Why is there such a thing as writers block? ;)
So we don't run out of paper.
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I thought it was something that authors ran around to keep fit!!
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It's the address where all the literary agents hang out, and stops you from getting published.
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Why is there such a thing as writers block?
Well where else would we put our heads after we send our manuscripts off? ???
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Well where else would we put our heads after we send our manuscripts off?
You send your manuscripts off? I thought they were just for us to fuss and fume over, to get pensive and emotionally up tight about.
Send them off? What a bizarre thought...
How do ducks hear? I can't see their ears...
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How do ducks hear?
I think that's one for PaulW to answer. ;D
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What? Who said that? ;D
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Why do we feel the need to ask stupid questions??
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To get stupid anwers?????
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Why do I have to go to work? why doesn't money grow on trees?
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Why don't we make money out of leaves??? Then it would.
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lol :D
why do i have a face?
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So there's somewhere to put your nose.
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why do i have a face?
Because you'd look pretty silly talking out of your a***
And, just to flog a dead horse:
Why is there such a thing as writers block? ;)
Writers block is the pile of rejected mss blocking your path to the PC.
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And, just to flog a dead horse:
And why would you want to do that?
Dave.
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And, just to flog a dead horse:
And why would you want to do that?
Because if it were alive you might hurt it. ::)
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And, just to flog a dead horse:
ok I'll flog a dead duck, but Paul's not going to be happy about it. I may be forced to beat around the bush, but I'll not beat myself up about it, cos I'll know when I'm beat.
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ok I'll flog a dead duck, but Paul's not going to be happy about it. I may be forced to beat around the bush, but I'll not beat myself up about it, cos I'll know when I'm beat.
Don't care if you do flog a dead duck, it'd save him raiding my wallet and going to find ladies of negotiable virtue to do it! He's a dirty little duck - dead duck! ;D
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Have you got a favorite duck Paul? or do you love them all the same?
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Devil Duck - he whispers things in my ear. MUAHAHAHA
;D
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Devil Duck - he whispers things in my ear. MUAHAHAHA
Sure you've not misheard and he's just muttering about a buildup of ear wax?
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LOL, I like Devil Duck too.
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you guys are getting a little off topic. why not ask a stupid question?
i have one.
why do most people have to get older than most animals?
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uh, I dont know :-\
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why do most people have to get older than most animals?
Because nobody eats us!
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When we eat stuff like welks, snails and oysters, then why don't we eat slugs?
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Because everytime I go out to my garden to catch one, they are too fast and they get away. >:(
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Why are my ears on the side of my head?
~Matsamu
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Why are my ears on the side of my head?
so you can hang your glassess on them. ;D
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Why are my ears on the side of my head?
~Matsamu
They are realy are arials for transmitting info up to the alians.
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Why are my ears on the side of my head?
~Matsamu
It gives the midwife something to hold onto.
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It gives the midwife something to hold onto.
So what ever happened to the 'Start Wife' or the 'End wife'?
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So what ever happened to the 'Start Wife' or the 'End wife'?
Divorce comes between them.
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Why is it "toy boy" but not "toy girl"?
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Why is it "toy boy" but not "toy girl"?
Because every girl I've met says she has emotions and doesn't like to be played with.
On the other hand I'm a boy and I do like to be played wi... Oh, Ok.
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Why are my ears on the side of my head?
~Matsamu
Because if they were on the front and back you'd have to find somewhere else to put your face.
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Why is it "toy boy" but not "toy girl"?
Girls are WAY too expensive to be regarded as toys!
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When we eat stuff like welks, snails and oysters, then why don't we eat slugs?
Speak for yourself.
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Why does one only notice the toilet roll has run out when he/she has already done the deed?
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Why does one only notice the toilet roll has run out when he/she has already done the deed?
Because you don't give a s**t beforehand? ;D
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LOL! Paul :D
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Hehehe. Nice
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When it involves a foot and a ball why on earth do the Americans call it soccer?
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When it involves a foot and a ball why on earth do the Americans call it soccer?
Because the british play rugby without a mat that belongs on the floor infront of your door.
~Mats
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Nothing to do with socks then?
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I wish...
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When it involves a foot and a ball why on earth do the Americans call it soccer?
Because we americans love nothing more than to confuse the hell out of our unsuspecting international victims.
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Ok, on the subject of American things that confuse me.
Why doesn't chicken fried steak have chicken in it somewhere? (And no cheating and saying that chicken broth is used to make the gravy)
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And no cheating and saying that chicken broth is used to make the gravy
- you mean like our eel pie, in 'Pie n' Mash'? ;)
And what the hell's in Frankfurters?
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- you mean like our eel pie, in 'Pie n' Mash'? ;)
And what the hell's in Frankfurters?
Hey less of the 'we' southerner - *we* do our pies the right way in Manchester where I'm from - a pig and a cow in each of em ;D
And in Frankenfurter's, Hasn't that got Rocky Horror, Magenta, Riff-raff and co in it? ;D
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Chicken fried stake is stake that's cooked the same way you would cook fried chicken. 'Chicken fried' discribes the method, not the meat.
(Or an idiot came up with the recipe. I can't really say, as I've never had chicken fried stake. Why would you want to fry stake?? ???)
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Wow, I just wrote that whole reply spelling 'steak' wrong. :-[ Next question: Why does Samhain stay up embarrasing self on the internet when she could be making up lost sleep???
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Chicken fried stake is stake that's cooked the same way you would cook fried chicken. 'Chicken fried' discribes the method, not the meat.
(Or an idiot came up with the recipe. I can't really say, as I've never had chicken fried stake. Why would you want to fry stake?? ???)
Well why not call it Elephant roasted beef then, just because we used to roast elephants that way! It's a silly notion! Or bacon fried steak for that matter when it doesn't have the crispy coating?
I reckon whoever thought up that one had been drinking WAY too much!
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Wow, I just wrote that whole reply spelling 'steak' wrong. Next question: Why does Samhain stay up embarrasing self on the internet when she could be making up lost sleep???
Why do any of us Samhain? ;D
And anyway, who needs sleep? Look in on the MWC bar - you'll see you're not the only one embarrasing yourself. ;D
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Chicken fried stake is stake that's cooked the same way you would cook fried chicken. 'Chicken fried' discribes the method, not the meat.
(Or an idiot came up with the recipe. I can't really say, as I've never had chicken fried stake. Why would you want to fry stake?? ???)
I thought the chickens fried it, little chef chics with hats on.
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I thought the chickens fried it, little chef chics with hats on.
LOL now THAT would work for me! Fair enough if that's the case ;D
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Why are we are who we are?
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Because we're not yet who we'll be.
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Why are we are who we are?
because if we were someone else our clothes might not fit and we'd scare ourselves when we looked in the mirror.
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Q: What's the best way to pluck a duck?
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I really hope that 'pluck' is a typo! grrrrrrrrrr.....
:P
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I really hope that 'pluck' is a typo! grrrrrrrrrr.....
:P
LOL
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Q: What's the best way to pluck a duck?
A: Blow Torch. (http://www.coolsmileys.net/angry/blowup.gif)
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If animals are colour blind why are tomatoes red?
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There you go Naomi, the makings of another children's story.
Jilly and the tree house gang in the duck torturing escapade. (Or did Enid Blyton already use that title?) ;D
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There you go Naomi, the makings of another children's story.
Jilly and the tree house gang in the duck torturing escapade. (Or did Enid Blyton already use that title?) ;D
:D
Probably one of the Brer Rabbit stories, Paul ;D
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Why are Dobermen called Dobermen? Why not Doberdogs?
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Why are Dobermen called Dobermen? Why not Doberdogs?
we just wanted to insult them.
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Why are Dobermen called Dobermen? Why not Doberdogs?
Because they ARE men. From the planet Dober.
Why does Tom cruise?
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Why does Tom cruise?
Because Jerry lets him. ;)
Why do we measure the drop of the curtains when they are to be hung up?
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Why do we measure the drop of the curtains when they are to be hung up?
Archaic gallows term. As in how far the rope stretched when the hanged body dropped. It was certainly curtains for the condemned!
Why does Orlando bloom?
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Why does Orlando bloom?
Somebody watered him.
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With Paul Newman and Robert Redford now having a combined age of 151,
what would they call a remake of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid?
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Butch Crumbly and the Stairlift Kid?
Why is Angelina jolie?
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LOL ;D
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She just seen Brad's Pitt
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And WHAT is going on with my avatar? (Just wanted to disprove all those callous 'armless' comments and now it appears I'm swinging a cat, according to Naomi M!)
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Why does Keanu reeve?
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Because he's up to his usual May tricks
What's in Stu's pot?
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A hairy cornflake?
What did Hugh grant?
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Because he was too much of a gentlemant to grunt
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Why does Noddy have Big Ears?
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Why does Samhain stay up embarrasing self on the internet when she could be making up lost sleep???
Because making up sleep is no fun. Real sleep is much better.
Why, oh why, would I rather play on MWC than write my book?
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Why, oh why, would I rather play on MWC than write my book?
Because it's easier?? I'm doing the same thing. You know those little crayon things that are like oils... or something... what are they called?? Did that make sense??
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Little crayon things like oils....
Pastels?
D'oh.... nope, you got me there girl.
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Pastels?? Aren't all pastels pastel? Or am I an ignorant fool? (or both...)
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I dunno - I draw with biros... during meetings usually. Horses, hedgehogs, mice, blocks and squares and squiggles... no masterpiece in me (art wise).
But give me clay, give me glass and glue and sticks and stones and concrete and time... who knows what I may create!
Probably the world's scariest self-portrait... :-\
I'm a 3D girl, given the chance.
Carrie
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A few mediocre sketches are the extent of my artistic accomplishments. But I went and created a character who's a budding artist. Sigh.
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creativity takes many forms. Whichever suits, whichever works, don't knock it. ;D
G'night,
Carrie
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But give me clay, give me glass and glue and sticks and stones and concrete and time... who knows what I may create!
Carrie
Did someone shout my name?
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Why are pizza's round?
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Why are pizza's round?
This, I cannot answer but stranger still... If pizza's are round, why the hell do the come in square boxes?
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Pizzas are round because any sharp angles would contravene health and safety regulations. The boxes are square so they dont roll away if placed on their edge on a hill!
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Do old mountain climbers Everest?
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Why are pizza's round?
So the kids can't argue about who gets the corner pieces.
And the boxes are square to make kids think they *might* get a corner, then teaches them to handle disappointment. Yummy AND educational you see!
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What I'd like to know is what are the other 57 varieties?
There are more than 60 varieties of food products by the Heinz company, but one day Henry J. Heinz saw an add poster for 21 varieties of shoes in town and decided he need a number of varieties for his company ad.. So he chose 57. The address of the company in Pittsburgh is P.O.Box 57. Also 5th letter of the alphabet is "e" and the 7th letter is "g", which gives you eg. and this is one example of the many fine products from Heinz.
My question for a stupid answers only: why if we are not decended from aminals (assuming for the sake of the question) do we procreate the same as animals ?
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why if we are not decended from aminals (assuming for the sake of the question) do we procreate the same as animals ?
Well, God would have told Adam and Eve, but he was a bit busy that day, and there was no 'mom' they could ask, so they got some advice from the birds and the bees.
- Just thank your lucky stars that Eve didn't ask the Praying Mantis.