My Writers Circle

Poets Corner => Review My Poetry => Topic started by: Eloquent.Writer on August 08, 2006, 11:35:00 PM

Title: Young Love
Post by: Eloquent.Writer on August 08, 2006, 11:35:00 PM
I see a smile before me, a beauty across the street
As I stand and stare in wonder, our eyes begin to meet
Sheís more beautiful than roses, her eyes a daring brown
Her smile can brighten the darkest day, embarrassed I look down

As I am filled with courage, I decide to ask her out
I walk to where she hasnít moved, my words are filled with doubt
I donít think she will like me; in fact I think sheíll laugh
For thinking I have a shot with her, she might think I am daft

She agrees to meet me for a drink, she shyly looks away
Daringly I grab her hand; itís the highlight of my day
The so-called-date is amazing, we get along so well
I think she really likes me, but I canít really tell

I lean in for a short sweet kiss, to see what she will do
She leans softly in towards me; I can smell her sweet shampoo
Her smell is sweeter than candy, her beauty greater than life
Her kiss gives me the shivers; I can see her as my wife

I remember those days so vividly, I remember her joyful smile
Now fifty years have passed us, and Iíve loved her all the while
She alone has stayed beside me, she alone has always cared
Together we made a family, a life and love we shared.
Title: Re: Young Love
Post by: deathbypen on August 09, 2006, 05:55:51 AM
Adorable. This poem definitely has the "awe...cute" factor. The flow and structure is very nice.
*thumbs up*

~New York Bum~