My Writers Circle

Poets Corner => Review My Poetry => Topic started by: Symphony on January 20, 2006, 09:39:06 AM

Title: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Symphony on January 20, 2006, 09:39:06 AM
Would love any comments on this, please. Originally, I had it in mind as a picture book mms because I thought the imagery might be strong enough (unbiased ???  ;D) - but perhaps it's too scary for picture-book ages?? What do you think? Any suggestions welcome. Thank you very much,
Symphony



THE UNDERBEASTS
or
THE BEST EXCUSE EVER FOR NOT TIDYING UNDERNEATH THE BED!
 
“I’m really scared,” my cousin said,
“Of monsters underneath the bed,
But you! You dangle both your feet
Quite freely from beneath the sheet,
Without a worry; not a care
‘Bout underbeasties lurking there
That could quite simply snatch your toes
Or worse – your feet? Your legs? Who knows?
And yet, you still seem quite at ease,
So tell me – what’s your secret? Please?
How can you be so brave” he said,
“With underbeasts beneath the bed?”
I looked at James and he at me,
And I said “James, you’re kidding me;
You really think that I’d take fright
At monsters only seen at night?
Well, James, you’re absolutely right!

Me? A hero? Not a chance;
I used to wet my underpants;
If truth be told, I’m not that cool,
(But please don’t tell the guys at school.)
You think, when all the lights are out
I’d dare to let my toes creep out?
Or let one foot go near the floor
Unless my mum was at the door?
NO WAY!” I said. “I’m just as scared
As you, or Dan, or Bully Baird,
But I’ve a secret, works a treat,
So underbeasts can’t eat my feet.

Come over here, but Wait! Watch out!
Best try to jump, not walk about;
My bed is safe but yours is not
And underneath’s a dangerous spot.
That’s it! Well done! Now what’s it worth?
To rid those beasties from your berth?
Let’s see …. How ‘bout, say, 50p?
Good show! Now if you’ll follow me …

Climb off the bed and sit right here -
There’s absolutely nowt to fear,
Not even underbeasts – I swear –
Would choose to live with what’s in there!”
So – slowly – underneath he peaked
And “Blimey, Chris!” my cousin shrieked,
“What’s that? What’s this? Hey! There’s your sword!
C’mon! What else is here?” he roared;

I paused – just long enough to blink –
Then turned to James
“Well, let me think …
There’s one toy car, one chocolate bar,
Some comics, one large coffee jar,
A half-made model aeroplane,
Three postcards  - that I bought in Spain,
Two tennis balls, one white, one green,
A baseball cap, a fart machine,
A catapult, an Action Man,
My Batman tee-shirt, empty cans,
Banana skins, one locker key,
My sister’s favourite DVD,
Two stinky socks (they’re not a pair),
An apple core, one teddy bear,
Five books, some jigsaw pieces (ten),
A shoe lace, Billy Bagnell’s pen,
And biscuit crumbs and broken toys,
And several things that all make noise,
And Dad’s old mobile phone (don’t tell),
(And someone’s credit card, as well!),
And smelly pants, now full of fluff,
And … what? You think that’s lots of stuff?
But that’s not nearly half enough.
Good stuff, bad stuff, old or new,
Your sister’s stuff, your brother’s, too;
The more things you collect, you know,
The fewer underbeasts below,
‘Cause here’s the thing: the fiends that creep
Under the bed when you’re asleep
Need room to stretch and yawn and scratch
While waiting for some toes to snatch,
But here, midst so much mess, you see,
There’s barely room to fit a flea,
So I can safely leave my bed,
And play with all my toys instead,
No need to wait ‘til morning light,
It’s much more fun to play at night!

So now you know, James, now you’re set
To quell your own bed-beastie threat,
Just cram that space with every bit
Of nonsense that you think might fit -

But James, I warn you, be prepared –
A price you’ll pay to not be scared,
The yells, the shouts, you must endure,
From angry Mums (of this I’m sure) -
“What a mess!” and “Clean that floor!”
And things like that – you know the score,
So look your saddest, face all glum -
Fight bed beasts, yes, but not your Mum!
A useless task, and pointless, too,
She’ll always win. It’s life – it’s true!
I’ve suffered this for years – first hand,
And Mums will NEVER understand
Why under beds must messy stay,
To keep the underbeasts away!
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: tigger on January 20, 2006, 10:06:27 AM
Symphony?

I LOVE it! If this were a picture book already on the market, not only would I buy it, I would recommend it to my friends with children, the kindergarten teachers at the school where my children attend and any one who sat in my chair at work (who mentioned to me they had a  little boy or girl). :)

Really Great Work!!

I love it...

Had a smile on my face and could envision the entire display of images rushing through  my head the whole time I read... I should see if I can remember the name of my friend's Children's Book Publisher to give you... It's been a while so I'd have to dig through my stuff (I tend to write tidpits on slips of paper when I don't think I will use the info...:S I'm sorry for that at this moment!

You've got my vote!
:);)
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: chillies on January 20, 2006, 11:49:21 AM
Symphony, I agree with tigger, It was magnificent.
I'm totally gobsmacked

chillies
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Lieutenant Dan on January 20, 2006, 12:02:03 PM
 :D

That was FANTASTIC!  What a gift you possess!!
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Lin on January 20, 2006, 12:41:16 PM
I have to say that I really enjoyed this poem and so did my husband!!   You need an illustrator now and you certainly have a wonderful piece of work!!   Get it published immediately!!!  Id buy it just for me!   Its the sort of book Grannies can read to the kids!!   Love it to bits, nothing but praise!!

Lin
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Symphony on January 20, 2006, 01:48:24 PM
OH MY GOODNESS!!!

Thank you so much! I'm gobsmacked at those most wonderful and welcome comments. I shall definitely try and find a list of publishers to send it to now. I sent it to one a little while back but they said it was too reliant on rhyme?? I thought that was an odd thing to say about a rhyming poem, but I think I know what they were getting at ... maybe ... perhaps ...

I now have renewed energy and will get 'posting' next week.

Tigger - would love the name of that publisher if ever you come across it again ...

And now ... it MUST be time for a glass of wine. Anyone like to join me?

Can't stop smiling. What a lovely way to start the evening!

(http://www.coolsmileys.net/happy/banana.gif)

Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Jayel on January 20, 2006, 02:09:00 PM
Marvelously delightful - and not just for children.  I identified with the unrational fear of "beasts under the bed, in the closet, in my head" as the Metallica song so eloquently says.

Congratulations on a wonderful bit of rhyme.  I have been told by other poets that the current market for poetry does seem to be a bit down on 'rhyme' - but one would think that children's poems in particular would encourage it due to the fact that it follows the pattern used when teaching reading.  With talent like yours, you should be able to hook up with an illustrator and put together an entire book of poetry.  Good luck with it!
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Symphony on January 20, 2006, 06:46:53 PM
Thank you very much, Jayel

 ;D
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Lin on January 21, 2006, 07:49:29 AM
I agree about the rhyming, I think that kids love rhyme, its something you can do which helps them with words that "sound like".  Its both educational and fun.   It also helps them to learn about poetry as opposed to stories.   A step further on from Nursery Ryhmes.

Get some help from someone on this site - ask for assistance from our more experienced writers.   Maybe they can come up with some ideas for you to get  the right publisher.

You need to write to a few publishers, apparently its the way of things these days, dont hang around waiting.   I need a colleague to look at your poem in case they havent seen it.  You might get a comment can't promise.

Lin
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Anitadee on January 21, 2006, 08:16:23 AM
I love the poem,I too had visions of pictures running through my mind. How talented,I have tried poetry (for my own amusement) and I hate the non rhyming poetry. So go for it but get the best illustrater you can. It's a winner!
Anitadee
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: chillies on January 21, 2006, 08:22:33 AM
I agree Anitadee, I also cannot stand non rhyming poetry. I somehow feel cheated if a writer has not even tried to make it rhyme. It's so common now for that to be the case - perhaps it's easier that way.

chillies
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Lin on January 21, 2006, 08:41:54 AM
I got one last message for you.  Have you heard the poetry of Pam Ayres?   She is quite famous in the UK for her poetry and TV appearances.   She writes in a similar style to yourself and has many books published.

Here is a link to her web site
http://web.tampabay.rr.com/jownley/pamayres.htm
There are lots of her poems on that site Im sure you will enjoy and consider her style, Im sure its something you would certainly enjoy.

Lin
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Symphony on January 21, 2006, 09:54:21 AM
Thank you very much, Lin. Yes, I remember Pam Ayres - I used to love listening to her reading her poems on TV (so many years ago I'm scared to work it out!!). I'd almost forgotten about her, so it's been lovely to log on to her site and read her stuff again.

I'm up for absolutely any help that I can get. Lin, who would you suggest I send virtual flowers and chocolates to for that extra little help with my poem? I know there are some very experienced people on here but could you suggest one or two that perhaps I could PM?

Thank you so much for your interest and support! This is great!

Symphony

Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Lin on January 22, 2006, 04:24:05 AM
Suggest you put out the 'feelers' on a new subject eg

Help Wanted with publishing a poem , refer to the poem on the Review Board

Then say what you want from this piece and lets see if you get some takers.   I hope you dont mind but I let my daughter read it and she loved it.  Said it was exactly how she felt as a child. She is 22 now.

The Moderators and many other people on the site may have some suggestions for you, so start a new thread and see what comes out of it.   Im afraid I have no experience in this field and I dont think there is much which needs changing in the poem itself.  So you probably need an illustrator, but I suggest you ask for assistance on the forum.

Good Luck and Ill keep an eye out for progress.

All the best

Lin

Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Symphony on January 22, 2006, 04:40:13 AM
Thank you, Lin. I'll do that right away,

Symphony
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Mini on January 22, 2006, 06:40:13 AM
Excellent!

Just printed off to have a good ogle. let you know if I have any comments later.

Mini
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: ChipTee on January 22, 2006, 07:18:36 AM
As a grandparent Underbeats is certainly one to buy. I look forward to it.
For what it's worth I think a good illustrator will enhance the tale. I have been told by a much published childrens' book author that publishers (in the UK, at least) prefer to marry their trusted illustrators with authors' tales rather than being sent mss with illustrations already packaged - unless the 'team is already well established.
All best with the publishers, regards, Chip
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Mini on January 22, 2006, 09:05:43 AM
Hi again,

Any comments, well just a few. if you intend this for publication anywhere but Britain I would consider a change to the third verse. maybe bartering with a toy currency rather than a monetary one. I put sword because I thought it would add to the indignation of James when he finally looked under the bed, and Chris can't play with his whilst it keeps the beasties at bay.

"That's it! Well done! Now what's it worth?
To rid those Beasties from your Berth?
Let's see ... your console ...  your sword  ... your frisby      
Good show! Now if you'll follow me ...

I'm sure you can make a far better substitute if you wanted something more international. 

The last two lines of the next verse don't flow so well either. It seems far fetched that James suddenly becomes so loud. May I suggest:

What's That? And that? Hey! There's your sword!
C'mon what else is here?" He bravely roared.

I hope you don't mind, I showed to hubby, and he chuckled at it too.

It is fabulous.

Mini








Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: GlennQ on January 22, 2006, 02:30:17 PM
This is truly wonderful!

but not just a poem...   this I see as a book.  Break it down into a suitable number of lines or a stanza per page, with an illustration on the opposite page (or something like that)...

anyway, congratulations - wonderful work!

G
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: chillies on January 22, 2006, 02:47:22 PM
GlennQ has a point here. This poem could be turned into a book. Perhaps you should look into it, see if you can get a publisher to supply an illustrator, and hey presto.

Good thinking G.

Seriously look into it and good luck.

chillies
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Symphony on January 22, 2006, 03:13:18 PM
Once again - thank you for all your support. I'm completely gobsmacked but I am definitely looking into it now.

I'll keep you all posted whatever happens!

Symphony
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: sjreed56 on March 03, 2006, 01:18:58 AM
How fun! Delightful! I agree with  GlennQ. I can visualize the illustrations already.
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: katinka on March 03, 2006, 06:50:22 AM
Great children's poem. I remember being four years old the first time I was afraid. Wish I had read your poem then, lol. I love rhym and agree that children love rhym, I hope.
It speaks to every child and spoke to me about my fears, thank you. :)
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Symphony on March 03, 2006, 11:57:20 AM
Thanks again for taking the time to comment. I'm working on this one now.   ;D ;D

Symphony
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Telcontar on March 03, 2006, 12:28:35 PM
Hi Symphony,

A bit late perhaps, but I just read it. Brilliant, wonderful, I wish I'd known the secret when I was a kid! Yes, I can just imagine this as an illustrated story, good luck with it1!
Dave.

P.S. I've got a few spare picture frames, so I think I'll print it off, and give it one all to itself, if that's OK with you!
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Lorraine on March 04, 2006, 08:34:17 AM
Symphony

I really loved this. It reminded me of Roger Mcgough(if that's how you spell his name). It particularly struck a chord with me because my husband (he would kill me if he knew I was writing this) used to be terrified of monsters under the bed when he was a child. Does your use of "nowt" signify a Yorkshire twang because he's a Yorkshireman - perhaps it's somehting in the water?

Lorraine
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Symphony on March 04, 2006, 08:55:22 AM
P.S. I've got a few spare picture frames, so I think I'll print it off, and give it one all to itself, if that's OK with you!

I'm flattered!   ;D ;D


Lorraine - thanks for your comments, too. I wish the publishers would read it with such enthusiasm!!   ;D
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Telcontar on March 04, 2006, 09:16:23 AM
Hi Symphony,

If I had kids, or grandkids, I'd pin this to their bedroom door, just to annoy their Mum!  ;D

One thing I've just noticed. The lines:

'cause here's the thing: the fiends that creep
Under the bed when you're asleep


How about substituting 'Beneath' for 'Under'? Might just be me, but 'Beneath' came naturally to me as I read it, and it seems to make the line flow better...

Oh, and if I'm going to frame it, I need to know your name, to give it its due credit. Email if you don't want to post it.

Dave.
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Shina on August 18, 2006, 06:40:50 PM
Symphony.....That Underbeasts Poem would make a Terriffic picture book!  And .... I am a Mum of 9... so take it from me....it's NOT too scary for kids these days! They would LOVE it to bits!!!!
 
I realise that it was months ago that you posted that on this site...do you have it published now?  I jolly-well hope so!

Cheers...
Shina.
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Tyger on August 19, 2006, 12:33:58 AM
Adorable!
Move over Dr. Seuss!

If you make the underbeasts look kinda cute, it won't be too scary as a picture book.

I'd buy it. And I'd let my nieces read it.
Their mom would hate me...heeheehee...
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Tamara on August 19, 2006, 04:16:25 AM
I know that I read this poem a little late since you first posted it in January.  It is a wonderful poem and I agree with everyone else that it belongs in a picture book.  I can actually see the two little boys, sitting on their bed having this conversation; wide eyed and secretive.

I do hope you post something to let us all know if you did get it published.

Great work!!

Later
tamara :D
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Shina on August 19, 2006, 10:41:18 PM
Hi Ya Symphony!,
                      ( I had already replied to this yesterday....seemingly unsuccessfully....so if a repeat reply just somehow appears out of the ethos...please excuse it.)

This is a wonderfully delightful poem/story! I LOVE it!!  And as for your question is it too scary for kids... no! Not these days, as I am a Mum of 9.... I can vouch for my troops absolutely Loving it! I see that you posted it on here some months ago...do you now have it published? I hope it will become a book rather than a poem, as kids will love the extra illustrations!

                              Keep up the wonderful work!!
                        Cheers,
                     Shina.
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: rltoon on August 20, 2006, 06:03:26 PM
Symphony,

This is a brilliant piece and wonderfully constructed! I love the rhyming and poo on anyone who says different! I have three children 13, 7, and 5, and they would absolutely drive me batty if we had this in book form. You know the repetitive nature of kids! Read it again! Read it again! Keep submitting this, someone with some sense in their head will get hold of it and off you go! Good Luck!
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: wileygrrl on August 21, 2006, 07:28:02 AM
Symphony. . .

I normally don't read children's stories and can say I have never read a children's poem.  No, No. I can't say that any longer. I read yours and it was beautifully written and i enjoyed it immensly.  I know we writers aren't to use "ly" words but so many appy to your poem.

I have no doubt that, if not already, soon you will be published.  It just felt so good. . . so real.  A powerful piece.

I will look for more of your work.

Oh, by the way, the reason I came to this site was by recommendation by another member, Tamara.  She went on and on about your post so I came to see for myself. Boy, was she right.
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Amie on September 01, 2006, 10:41:52 AM
I agree with everyone else, this is brilliant.  I'd definitely buy this for my nieces if it were published.  Good luck!
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Big T on September 01, 2006, 12:46:27 PM
I have just read this! Brilliant wish I'd written it!  ;D
T
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Tyger on September 01, 2006, 02:41:23 PM
I don't think the author of this poem is on MWC anymore. She has not responded to any of the comments, nor to personal messages.

I guess we lost her to the underbeasts!

Tyger
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Big T on September 02, 2006, 12:45:50 AM
What a shame.
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Telcontar on September 02, 2006, 05:34:28 AM
Hi Folks,

Symphony left a message in the Coffee Shop on the 20 August; basically she's a bit busy at the moment, but hopes to be back with us in September.

Dave.
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Big T on September 02, 2006, 05:53:42 AM
Hi Dave,
Are you going to tell her it's September already?  :)
T
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: nassj on September 04, 2006, 04:03:49 PM
I loved this,i'm going to read it to my kids it reminds me of the mess they have under their beds.I like the word you used 'underbeasties' and I think a picture book would be great.
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Symphony on September 04, 2006, 07:05:46 PM
Hello there everybody - and apologies for using a generic 'everybody' instead of individual names. I'm absolutely flattered and thrilled and all things wonderful at your comments and suggestions. Can't believe this thread has been dragged up from many months ago and got your attention again - I only wish the publishers thought the same!!!

My apologies also for not being around. I've had a bunch of family troubles and have to say that I'm now currently preparing my mum's funeral for next week, so I'm not quite 'back here' yet, but will get myself sorted soon as, I promise!!

Meanwhile, I had such fantastic hopes for this poem as a picture book, rather than a poem. The response from publishers, however, was that it was too reliant on rhyme! Naturally, I disagree, but I think I'm probably a little bit biased!!!  ::) HOWEVER, The Underbeasts IS currently on a publisher's list in the US. I don't have a release date and I honestly can't even say HOW it's going to be published - whether just as a poem in an anthology or as a picture book, but since I'm only starting out I chose not to be fussy. I need these little boosts to my CV and when I've sold my first prize-winning novel, THEN I'll start getting picky  ;D

I assure you, you'll all be the FIRST to know as soon as I have a date for release of The Underbeasts and I can't tell you how much I truly appreciate your interest, support and suggestions.

Hugs,
Symphony
x
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: kezzwitch on February 01, 2008, 10:00:08 AM
Hi I an a newbie today and have just read your poem and ejoyed it immensly. I have been writing poetry for my open university course. I find writing poetry very relaxing, but it always seems to be on the "Pam Ayres" side of things rather than the academic side, which I think gets on my fellow students nerves. Maybe I should post one or two on here and see how it goes.

Thank you so much for the entertainment made me smile. I'm 40 and still don't dangle my feet out the quilt!!
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Symphony on February 02, 2008, 08:11:09 AM
Hi Kezzwitch,

Thanks a million for your comments. Gosh - I'd almost forgotten this poem existed. I wish the publishers and agents around the world were half as complimentary as everybody here. It still gives me hope, although I've had to shelve this one as nobody - anywhere - is remotely interested in this. Some day, when I've money to throw away, I'll enlist my artistic pals and self-publish - and mostly because of all the wonderful feedback from here! So thank you - again!

Symphony
xx
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Lin on February 02, 2008, 12:59:56 PM
When you first posted this one over a year ago I absolutely loved it and still do!!  Its almost like something from Roal Dahl.

I would love to see it published as it is very good!!  You must keep trying.

Hope all is well with you.

All the best

Lin x

Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: waterman54 on February 03, 2008, 06:18:50 PM
Hi Symphony,
I too love the poem, I love poems that ryhme better than any other. Yours here is great. Very nice. Dan.
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: SteveJ on February 03, 2008, 06:22:30 PM
I have to agree with everybody else, Symphony - it's a superb poem :)
Sorry that I can't offer proper criticism, because my own poetry is rubbish  ;D ;D
But really, your poem is wonderful :)
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Amie on February 03, 2008, 11:51:31 PM
This was one of the first poems I ever read when I found MWC - I think it's brilliant.  If I were looking for something for one of my nieces or nephews and found this with nice illustrations, I'd buy it in a second (actually, I think I said that when I first read this - always repeating myself these days :) )
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: Lin on February 04, 2008, 06:17:59 AM
Maybe we should all write to a publisher begging for this to be published!!  You got my vote.   Maybe something like this (just for fun!) A new slant on the submission letter!!

Dear Sirs,

We recently read a poem for children called The Underbeasts, by ............. We the  undersigned wish to request by popular demand that this poem be recommended for publication.   Do you agree with us and if so please will you consider our request?  The poem is attached, our children love it and its also great for adults, reminding us of how we felt when we were children lying in bed on a dark night. 



Signed by

Well something like this.

With illustrations this could be a real hit with everyone. If we all wrote to the right publisher then could they fail to ignore us!!  Its such a shame this is not getting anywhere.





Lin x
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: chappers on February 07, 2008, 04:32:24 AM
As a newbie, have only just come across this - but loved it. Reminiscent of Hilaire Belloc's Cautionary Tales - "The chief defect of Henry King was chewing little bits of string...". Please, more in the same vein.
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: fluffybunny on February 10, 2008, 04:32:09 PM
Symphony
Hi I'm brand new on here but been a member of writewords for a few months.  This was great as a slightly scary story for kids about something they are slightly scared about!!!  Thought it would benefit from being in the traditional 12 page format before sending out to publishers but the content is just right as is the rhyme - fantastic and spot on rhythm!
I can really see this as a kids PB.
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: MsBook on February 12, 2008, 03:15:50 PM
Symphony Hi,

I'm really new here...so I hope I'm doing this right...

I loved this poem it was delightful...brought back so many memories of my own childhood to this day  can't hang my feet over the bed...and now I know why my kids stuffed so many things under their beds when they were small.

I too wish this was published I would buy it in a heartbeat.  I am truly inspired by your writing.

Thanks for the fun...
 
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: The Write Stuff on March 21, 2008, 12:51:37 PM
Hi, Symphony!

      What an amazing3 poem this is!  Someday I would like to write a book of children's poems or maybe even a picture book.  My only hope is that I'll be able to come up with something as fun and entertaining as this is.
      Has this been published yet?  Have you heard anything from the publishers?  It would be exciting for all of us here at MWC to know when you get this published.  We're all so proud of you and your accomplishments! (I've read so many comments to that effect.) You will keep up updated, won't you? (Or did I miss something and you've already told everyone what's going on with it?)

      Also...Have a blessed Easter!

      Sincerely,
      Cynde   :)
Title: Re: The Underbeasts (poem for children)
Post by: HeidiC on March 21, 2008, 01:35:52 PM
I let my 10 year old daughter read it and she thought it made a good point about mums (that you can never win ;D) and she liked the subject and the fact it was a poem in rhymning couplets. She gives it a ten out of ten. :o