My Writers Circle

Poets Corner => Review My Poetry => Topic started by: drab on January 14, 2010, 08:46:55 PM

Title: Mens Things
Post by: drab on January 14, 2010, 08:46:55 PM
We are simple creatures
demand so little

beer
and football
mostly
plain food
boring clothes

we'll spend hours
holding long things
like bottles
fishing rods
spanners
and when she's not looking
other things

we like
black coffee
white underpants
we train our dogs
to do simple tricks
like sit stay beg
and when
we want our dangly bits
dangled
instead of a carrot
we
in turn
dangle the possibility
of a new pair of shoes.

Sorry DIZI, couldn't resist the shoe thing!
Revenge!!!
 
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: eric on January 14, 2010, 08:56:52 PM
men are just like dogs.
all they want to do is eat, sleep, and have fun.


... there is a longer version of this with more specific ways of having fun, but this one's good because it's simple and short.  besides, i'm too lazy to type the long one.
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: drab on January 14, 2010, 09:20:27 PM
men are just like dogs.
all they want to do is eat, sleep, and have fun.
But we do it so well!
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: Tina on January 14, 2010, 10:30:54 PM
LOL-------terrific poem!
This ones a keeper.   :D
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: Kowboy on January 14, 2010, 11:03:36 PM
I liked it.

Kowboy
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: Gyppo on January 15, 2010, 03:27:42 AM
Nice one.  Simple pleasures ;-)  Twas always thus...

From The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam:

Here with a Loaf of Bread beneath the Bough,
A Flask of Wine, a Book of Verse - and Thou
Beside me singing in the Wilderness -
And Wilderness is Paradise enow.

Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: twisted wheel on January 15, 2010, 04:49:02 AM
Quote
and 'other' things
when she's not looking

 :D

that was good mate.
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: drab on January 15, 2010, 05:35:19 AM
Thanks guys.
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: CCRP on January 15, 2010, 06:41:25 AM
I always thought it was Christianity you adhered, to Rev Drab, but now I see it's an entirely different religion.  ;)
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: drab on January 15, 2010, 06:56:47 AM
My body is my temple and I was always told to 'explore' my faith!
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: CCRP on January 15, 2010, 07:03:34 AM
Well, that explains it.  :D
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: Gyppo on January 15, 2010, 07:05:39 AM
'Inter-Ecumenical Dispute'  otherwise known as 'Bashing The Bishop' ;-)
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: eric on January 15, 2010, 11:02:44 AM
... or "duking the deacon?"
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: Kowboy on January 15, 2010, 11:12:27 AM
"Pulling the Pope"?
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: CCRP on January 15, 2010, 11:18:42 AM
"Ripping the Rabbi"?
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: Kowboy on January 15, 2010, 11:23:56 AM
"Flogging the Friar"?
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: eric on January 15, 2010, 11:41:04 AM
shooting the shaman?

(love "flogging the friar," heh)
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: Gyppo on January 15, 2010, 01:07:50 PM
For the sake of multi-faith harmony...   'Attacking the Ayatollah'?
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: Kowboy on January 15, 2010, 03:20:05 PM
For the sake of multi-faith harmony...   'Attacking the Ayatollah'?

Funny, that.

Kowboy
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: DIZI on January 15, 2010, 03:40:02 PM
I don't know how I missed all this action.
You lot will go blind.

Great poem Drab, you could have ended it here though
Men's Things
Quote
Are few,
we are simple creatures
knicking my shoes Rev..tut tut tut   :o
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: CCRP on January 15, 2010, 04:01:33 PM
Haha!

Yes, I have to agree with Dizi. She's absolutely right.  ;D
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: Gyppo on January 15, 2010, 05:29:40 PM
Yes, I have to agree with Dizi. She's absolutely right.  ;D

It's working, Chaps.  The great deception is still on course.  The lasses will never believe we've fooled them, so it's still business as usual ;-)

Gyppo
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: twisted wheel on January 15, 2010, 05:33:39 PM
It's working, Chaps.  The great deception is still on course.  The lasses will never believe we've fooled them, so it's still business as usual ;-)

Gyppo
;D
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: DIZI on January 15, 2010, 05:36:28 PM
We let you think you have, thats the point.
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: Gyppo on January 15, 2010, 05:50:48 PM
We do likewise, so it's a 'MAD' world.  Mutually Assured Deception.  As long as no-one rocks the boat all will be well.

Gyppo
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: DIZI on January 15, 2010, 05:55:33 PM
and know how to float.
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: drab on January 15, 2010, 08:51:11 PM
Thanks for your kind (former) comment DIZI and thanks to everyone else, you are a funny lot.
My conscience is telling me that I have been a bad boy and deserve to be punished, so I'll have to strip naked and 'purge the priest', 'rub the e rector', 'cane the cannon', 'masticate the monsignor', 'rub the rabbi' or maybe just 'dunk the monk'? Life would be so much simpler if I wasn't a man of the cloth. Had I been a farmer I could have 'rubbed the rhubarb'.
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: eric on January 15, 2010, 09:06:25 PM
are you daft, man?  you're rubbing the rector and rabbi both.  think of the rhubarb that could cause ...
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: drab on January 15, 2010, 09:24:47 PM
Zealots such as I occasionally rub peoples up the wrong way! But I would "never rub another man's rhubarb".
Can anyone tell me what movie that quote is from? (I can't remember)
Or my favourite quote "You ask if I'm married, of course I'm married, wife, house, children, everything. The full catastrophe"
Clue, b&w movie set in Greece.
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: DIZI on January 16, 2010, 06:13:30 AM
   

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zn0ecHHHUGo
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: Mark H on January 16, 2010, 07:15:20 AM
Very good drab. I do have a few very minor tweaks if you are interested.

Are few, [L2 is a better opening]
we are simple creatures
demand so little
[you need a break here]
beer

[Change of word order to make other things the end of the strophe]
spanners
and when she's not looking
'other' things

Great ending!

I'm off for a black coffee now then a session extending the aithiest  :D
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: drab on January 16, 2010, 07:35:49 AM
Lol Mark,
Thanks, they are small changes, but the devil is in the detail.
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: Lew Charles on January 16, 2010, 07:39:11 AM
Zealots such as I occasionally rub peoples up the wrong way! But I would "never rub another man's rhubarb".
Can anyone tell me what movie that quote is from? (I can't remember)
Or my favourite quote "You ask if I'm married, of course I'm married, wife, house, children, everything. The full catastrophe"
Clue, b&w movie set in Greece.


Zorba the Greek. Anthony Quinn, class actor, class film.

Like the poem, Drab. I'd remove the inverted commas from 'other.' Didn't think they were needed. Just a thought.

Lew  :)
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: DIZI on January 16, 2010, 08:04:57 AM
Quote
but the devil is in the detail
yes and in this forum sometimes.

Glad I inspired such a great poem.
Can you post the revision when ready,  pleeeeeeze Reverend.  :-*
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: drab on January 16, 2010, 09:10:56 AM
Thanks Lew, it is a brilliant movie and the soundtrack is as good (if you like that sort of thing)
Did you remember the quote or google it? The soundtrack has a quote before each track, have not heard it since I was about 15, (a long time ago)
Not sure about removing the inverted commas.....actually maybe you are right, it might appear insulting to the readers intelligence.

Thanks DIZI, I'll come back to you later, have to run an errand and no, it's not hot holy oil!
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: eric on January 16, 2010, 09:24:06 AM
Actually, Zorba popped to my mind the second I read your thing, but I was too lazy to say it so, how they say?  snooze and lose.  did sleep well though.  also, i've never seen that movie so i'll have to add it to the summer reading list!
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: Gyppo on January 16, 2010, 12:07:39 PM
'masticate the monsignor',

Ye gods, you're one supply dude ;-)

Gyppo
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: drab on January 16, 2010, 05:15:29 PM
Glab you think so!
Yes Eric, it is one of the all time great movies.
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: Lew Charles on January 16, 2010, 08:24:28 PM
Thanks Lew, it is a brilliant movie and the soundtrack is as good (if you like that sort of thing)
Did you remember the quote or google it? The soundtrack has a quote before each track, have not heard it since I was about 15, (a long time ago)



As it happens, I watched it last month for the first time - 'the full catastrophe' just sticks with you, but then you gave a fairly big clue, too. I think Anthony Quinn is a fantastic actor - Lust for Life is another great film (Kirk Douglas does alright, too, as the tortured Van-Gogh). The line that sticks with me from Zorba is 'to be alive is to take off your belt and look for trouble' - or words to that effect. Splendiferous film. It's has some real tragedy, but you're smiling by the end.

As to the music.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3efTxe5NTo

It's at about 1 min 30 secs when the fun begins.
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: drab on January 16, 2010, 08:53:29 PM
Another one is something like, "there are many sins, but there is one sin that God will not forgive, if a woman calls a man to her bed, and he does not go, I know, because a very wise tell told me"
And yet, if a man asks for a shag she gets away Scott-free?
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: Lew Charles on January 16, 2010, 09:04:42 PM
Another one is something like, "there are many sins, but there is one sin that God will not forgive, if a woman calls a man to her bed, and he does not go, I know, because a very wise tell told me"
Any yet, if a man asks for a shag she gets away Scott-free?

 :D
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: Biola on January 17, 2010, 11:15:57 AM
I ead this from the very begining and after a while I was wondering if I stumbled into the wrong site. I had just left service from rev drab of the dangling male things to rhubard marK, Eric that left me speechless, Lew and crazy DiZI who started all this! Men's things? It is one small third leg that plays havoc with their good intentions. rev drab bless you for you have ...? shhh!
biola
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: drab on January 17, 2010, 08:46:55 PM
I'd say that it is more the fact that women have been careless (kind) enough not to grow that small third leg that has caused us to abandon our good intentions.
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: Kowboy on January 18, 2010, 11:33:11 AM
I'd say that it is more the fact that women have been careless (kind) enough not to grow that small third leg that has caused us to abandon our good intentions.

drab:

No, drab, you are overanalyzing. Women suffer from Penis Envy:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penis_envy

Kowboy
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: drab on January 18, 2010, 04:10:03 PM
Uh oh Kowboy, now you've really opened up a can of worms. Even though you are probably right. (I think we are in trouble now)
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: Gyppo on January 18, 2010, 07:33:51 PM
I think Siggy Freud was either a gibbering idiot, or a very clever conman.  Never been quite able to decide, but leaning towards the latter.

Gyppo
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: drab on January 18, 2010, 07:43:50 PM
I think that he was actually a woman, and she knew what she was talking about. lol
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: eric on January 18, 2010, 08:36:34 PM
I used to think similar to Gyppo, but learned from a very intelligent woman psychiatrist and a totally brilliant classical literature professor and psychologist, particularly the latter, in recent years that Freud did know a great deal what he was talking about.  His bad rep may come largely from the incorrect reinterpretations of his stuff by Anna Freud, his daughter, who was out to make a buck or something. 
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: drab on January 18, 2010, 08:50:07 PM
My mother always told me never to trust a man with a beard, (Eric)
strangely enough she would say this just before she reminded me to shave before I got into her bed!
Mothers, huh! Always fussing about something. But you gotta love em....don't you?
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: CCRP on January 19, 2010, 06:37:56 AM
As far as Freud is concerned, you have to realise that psychology didn't really exist yet back in his days. He was the father of psychology, so to say, so of course he had things wrong. Wouldn't you if you had to figure it all out single-handedly? What's much more surprising, is that he got so much right.
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: drab on January 20, 2010, 09:03:06 PM
Psychology is the art of telling, after being told the answer. It holds no fascination for me, has no relevance and no matter how often I'm told that this psychologist or that psychologist is so brilliant the fact remains that the only people who need them are vague people looking for vague answers to vague questions, and have more money than sense. We, as a nation, tend to have multiple answers to any question. We understand that there is no quick fix, that life can be shit and then you die. But in the meantime you party.
There is a collective mentality combined with an extensive vocabulary which enables us to communicate in a way that renders psychologists almost obsolete
Paper wont refuse ink and the world is full of people who'll believe whatever they're told.
In my country they're called gobshites.
There is still a sense of community where I live, we look after our own. We have problems, but we sort them out.
Freud is an interesting read, and regardless of whether or not he was right, the navel-gazing he promotes only serves to distract us from the joy of living.
I love my mother, (don't want to have sex with her) am not jealous of my father's relationship with her, am pretty sure my wife wouldn't like to have a penis (no jokes please) and am perfectly happy with the size of my penis. If I am deluding myself and the opposite is true, what I really need is:
A. To live my life oblivious to the fact.
B. To be informed by some gobshite that I am a perverted mother-fuc#er with a small cock and a wife who wants a cock of her own.
Looks like Freud was trying to create problems and in doing so, created an incredibly lucrative industry!
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: Lew Charles on January 20, 2010, 09:29:57 PM
I dunno. I often think the 'genius' of Freud lies in his literary allusions. By taking into consideration Art and Lit, he's approaching the/a truth of humanity at it's most sensitive level. I suppose what I'm trying to say is there's a lot to be said for the subconscious, and he uses intuition, often an important element of Art and Lit, to express the emotion of a collective. Although, after writing this gabble, I think Drab is probably very wise in his summary, despite the bleak cynicism.

God, I must still be drunk.   
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: Gyppo on January 21, 2010, 05:10:31 AM
...there's a lot to be said for the subconscious...

Seriously:  I use my subconscious a lot, as do many writers and artists.  But I consciously feed it ideas to play with.  Perhaps this stops it from getting bored and looking around for opportunities to cause mischief.

Not Quite So Seriously:  But if it ever bothers trying to convince me I'm under-endowed I have the perfect answer waiting.  "Mine's bigger than yours.  And it's not imaginary!"   ;-)
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: Kowboy on January 21, 2010, 09:54:48 AM
Psychology is the art of telling, after being told the answer. It holds no fascination for me, has no relevance and no matter how often I'm told that this psychologist or that psychologist is so brilliant the fact remains that the only people who need them are vague people looking for vague answers to vague questions, and have more money than sense. We, as a nation, tend to have multiple answers to any question. We understand that there is no quick fix, that life can be shit and then you die. But in the meantime you party.
There is a collective mentality combined with an extensive vocabulary which enables us to communicate in a way that renders psychologists almost obsolete
Paper wont refuse ink and the world is full of people who'll believe whatever they're told.
In my country they're called gobshites.
There is still a sense of community where I live, we look after our own. We have problems, but we sort them out.
Freud is an interesting read, and regardless of whether or not he was right, the navel-gazing he promotes only serves to distract us from the joy of living.
I love my mother, (don't want to have sex with her) am not jealous of my father's relationship with her, am pretty sure my wife wouldn't like to have a penis (no jokes please) and am perfectly happy with the size of my penis. If I am deluding myself and the opposite is true, what I really need is:
A. To live my life oblivious to the fact.
B. To be informed by some gobshite that I am a perverted mother-fuc#er with a small cock and a wife who wants a cock of her own.
Looks like Freud was trying to create problems and in doing so, created an incredibly lucrative industry!


drab:

You're starting to sound like Tom Cruise:

http://www.xenu-directory.net/practices/antipsych7.html

Kowboy
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: Vienna on January 21, 2010, 10:06:33 AM
an american once told me that if you don't go to "your" analyst twice a week you are crazy.

another person said if you go to therapy you have more time and money than sense and it's a sign that society is falling apart.


and  then an english punk (johnny rotten of the sex pistols) said when I was 16 my mother gave me a hundred quid to go to therapy cos she thought I had a drink problem, I went down the pub I mean I'm not paying a hundred quid an hour to talk to some twat that's crazier than I am.

cheers
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: eric on January 21, 2010, 10:30:20 AM
i'll drink to that   :D
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: drab on January 21, 2010, 07:58:11 PM
Kowboy, ouch! That hurts, I need to talk to someone now or should I repress it?
vienna, Johnny Rotten was so right. A few beers with your friends is better than an hour with a stranger. Fancy a pint? I think it's eric's round.
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: Kowboy on January 21, 2010, 09:59:46 PM
Kowboy, ouch! That hurts, I need to talk to someone now or should I repress it?
vienna, Johnny Rotten was so right. A few beers with your friends is better than an hour with a stranger. Fancy a pint? I think it's eric's round.


drab:

That sounds good. It is eric's round.

Kowboy
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: eric on January 21, 2010, 10:45:17 PM
drinks are on me!  my dog has the money.
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: CCRP on January 22, 2010, 03:43:50 PM
Psychology is the art of telling, after being told the answer. (...)
Looks like Freud was trying to create problems and in doing so, created an incredibly lucrative industry!

Not quite, Drab.

Psychology is the science that studies the human behaviour. Sadly, because it's such a new science (compared to other sciences) a lot of people like to make us believe that it's all a load of BS. It isn't.

About Freud. He was a child of his time as much as we are children of our time. His time was Victorian and a lot of psychological disturbances (Freud didn't exactly study the healthy mind) were sex-related. That might be hard to conceive in this age and time, but still.
Title: Re: Mens Things
Post by: drab on January 23, 2010, 09:09:34 PM
Nelodra, my 'rant' was generally facetious, although from personal experience there appears to be an increasing reliance, especially among teenagers and young adults, on the services of psychiatrists. From what I can gather, many of their 'problems' are straightforward growing pains. One person in a group attends a shrink, maybe he has problems or maybe he has a poor support system. One can create the other. So he tells his friends that this person (shrink) really listens and understands, after telling his parents to shut up, that they don't understand. You wouldnt believe the amount of people I've heard say that their parents didn't push them enough when they were young, and that's why they didn't get a better education/career. These people probably told their parents to shut up when they were being advised to study more and be more careful in their choice of friends.
OK, I'm ranting again. The bottom line is that people with legitimate problems will benefit from visiting a therapist, but there are many who use them as a form of replacement therapy. They replace the voices they chose not to listen to and they replace the courage they should have had to face the world on their own two feet.
Regards.