My Writers Circle

Poets Corner => Review My Poetry => Topic started by: Inspired on December 28, 2008, 02:10:56 PM

Title: She Chose Me
Post by: Inspired on December 28, 2008, 02:10:56 PM
The search was futile, no breakthrough was achieved.
To clearly convey my thoughts and emotions...
proved to be a difficulty...
beyond what my mind could ever conceive.

That is when she found me.

Bursting from the seams with inspiration from my mind's eye...
I found no salvation...no release...
Choking on verbal censorship and suppression...
Rebelling against what denied me peace...

That is when she found me...this is why she chose me.

What I thought would remain unheard and unchanged
Unfolded before me, Clearly.
All confusion and self-doubt rearranged.

To write is to be inspired, Life has become my muse.
My thoughts and ideas...My dreams and my fears
Have each been given a voice to use,
A voice that transcends color, language and yes...even time.

Who is she that found me...that chose me...that encouraged my contentment so?

She is the art of writing, an art that in many ways...
redefines what incites the creativity in my heart and inflames the passion in my soul.

She found me, she chose me....and now, I have discovered literary tranquility.

Written by Dani-C



Thanks for reading!!!
Title: Re: She Chose Me
Post by: Hyperviper on December 28, 2008, 11:39:14 PM
the fifth major stanza was too telly. Again, try to show it; not tell it..It just felt ordinary on that part. Other than that, I like your expressive tone here. Very moving, especially in the beginning. The 2nd stanza was the flare- I was feeling that. Keep writing
Title: Re: She Chose Me
Post by: Inspired on December 29, 2008, 09:31:03 AM
the fifth major stanza was too telly. Again, try to show it; not tell it..It just felt ordinary on that part. Other than that, I like your expressive tone here. Very moving, especially in the beginning. The 2nd stanza was the flare- I was feeling that. Keep writing


 ;D Okay! I get it...the 5th stanza critique...I should have gotten the reader to see what I was talking about without actually specifically saying it. I can also see how those lines were bland compared to the rest.
I really appreciate it!  :)