My Writers Circle

The Coffee Shop => Writing Games & Challenges => Topic started by: thatollie on November 15, 2007, 04:15:28 PM

Title: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 15, 2007, 04:15:28 PM
We haven't had a show V tell post since September so I thought I'd twist it about a bit. Some people post some very telly stuff and let's see it get turned about into showy stuff shall we.
In the same vein as the never ending plot line game, someone will post the tell and then the next poster would post the show and the next tell line

Like this

Tell: Micheal was sad.

Next poster

Show: Micheal let his head fall to the desk, staring at the door for news of what happened.
Tell: ...
and so on.
I know that isn't a particularly good show.


It begins
Tell: John ordered Gary to climb over the trenches.

= = = = =
Just a note because some people have been showing in the tells and telling in the shows.

Telling: stating what the motivations or emotional state of a character is (eg "Stanley was amused" or "Jack idolised footballers")

Showing:  describing action or imagery so that a reader can infer the motivations and/or emotional state of a character (eg, "Stanley burst into laughter" or "Jack spent all his time at the football ground, and had memorised the vital statistics of every player")
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 15, 2007, 05:28:32 PM
Heck, I always did like a challenge like this.  I'll give it a shot.

Tell: John ordered Gary to climb over the trenches.

Show: With guns blazing in the darkness around them, John glared at Gary and gave the command for everyone to start climbing the mud slick walls.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: jeanette on November 15, 2007, 05:37:27 PM
Bill walked into the bar and yelled at the barmaid
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 15, 2007, 05:39:49 PM
The door crashed into the wall, "pour me the usual," barked Bill Firewater McMahon.

Tell: Dick and Pete sat on a bench in the park.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 16, 2007, 12:03:49 AM
Show: Completing their morning jog through the neighbourhood, Dick and Pete slowed to a halt and reclined on a bench near some swings.

Tell:  Sally was angry.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 16, 2007, 12:05:08 AM
Sally threw the pink teddy across the room.

Tell: Chris was laughing.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 16, 2007, 12:10:56 AM
Seeing the discomfort that his prank had caused Sally, Chris could not contain his mirth.

Tell:  Ollie scratched his head.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 16, 2007, 12:14:04 AM
Ollie ran a hand through his blond hair, "well I'm confused."

Tell: The rainy days upset Sylvia.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 16, 2007, 12:15:59 AM
Never one to enjoy the clouds as well as the sun, Sylvia's mood darkened as the clouds moved in.

Tell:  The truck stopped.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 16, 2007, 12:20:10 AM
John slammed his foot on the brake, the semi skidded to a halt.

Tell: Pete's joke did not go down well with the rest of the group.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 16, 2007, 12:22:58 AM
The group exchanged glances of confusion and anger as Pete nervously repeated the punchline.

Tell: The police arrested her.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 16, 2007, 12:44:07 AM
Her arms were wrenched behind her back as the cold steel locked onto her wrists.

Tell: Ollie shouted, "Frefticca," as he typed, "The End."
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 16, 2007, 12:50:29 AM
His countenance bathed in the sweat of confusion, Ollie continued to search for a meaning to 'frefticca' as he concluded his story with the more simplistic two word ending, 'the end'.

Tell: Carrie felt a draft from behind.

(ahve fun with this one, ollie!  :D )
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 16, 2007, 12:55:29 AM
Legs pumping, she skated down the platform, her long hair being whipped by the wind. It wasn't the only thing being whipped by the wind...

Tell: that was fun.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 16, 2007, 12:56:52 AM
The scene before us was made more enjoyable by the fact that Carrie was enjoying herself as much as anyone.

Tell: I agree.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 16, 2007, 01:01:16 AM
Alternative to your show.
Ollie doubled over in laughter, accidentally knocking the mouse off the desk with his head.

Narnian Prince nodded, "wish I'd put that."

Tell: the clown didn't feel like a princess.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 16, 2007, 01:17:20 AM
Despite his femine garb, the constant rehearsing for weeks before this show, and all the weight he had lost, Ollie still didn't feel confident of the royal presence he was to portray.

(I couldn't resist it, Oll!  :D )

Tell: The day grew dark.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 16, 2007, 01:25:02 AM
Narnian Prince stood on the hill, his shadow getting smaller and fainter with each passing hour.

Tell: the bakery had no more Danishes.


PS: I'm totally fine with it, my friend however was deeply offended.
(http://www.coolsmileys.net/smileys/guns/tomcat.gif)
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 16, 2007, 01:29:30 AM
Terror and tears filled Laura Bush's eyes as she realized with dread that she would be responsible for telling George the news the baker had given her.

Tell: it went over.


p.s.  Would that I had access to some smilies, I'd send your 'friend' a message.  :D
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 16, 2007, 01:32:03 AM
The river broke the flood barrier with a crashing wave.

Tell: They went over to the corpse.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: WESTON on November 16, 2007, 02:01:57 AM
 show: As the walls echoed with footsteps, shadows began to crawl over the young dead body.


 tell: He was mad but still ate his food.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 16, 2007, 02:03:54 AM
Stabbing his fork into the pork chop, he tore off a chunk and shoved it into his mouth.

Tell: Sean walked listlessly through the rain.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 16, 2007, 02:59:09 AM
Exhausted after such a long hard session with Monica, Sean set off home, plodding thought the puddles as the persistent rain soaked his slippers and even began to fill the egg cup the was carrying.

Sir Nigel purchased a new toupee.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 16, 2007, 03:11:31 AM
Overjoyed with the effects that he had seen in the shop, though unprepared for the sudden storm outside, Sir Nigel joyously laid down the last of his pay and donned his new rug.   :D

Tell: Citabria told a story.  :D
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Maxine on November 16, 2007, 03:59:09 AM
Squating on the too small chair in the children's section, Citabria regarded the young audience carefully then in a hushed voice began the tale of Billy Goat Gruff.

She watched the news.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 16, 2007, 04:53:32 AM
As she nervously bit her nails to the quick, Maxine deliberately disobeyed her therapist and watched the telly awaiting anything on the war thousands of miles away.  :D

Tell: Gyppo hated Christmas.



p.s.  Hey there Maxine!  :D  Welcome to the Circle!  Hope you enjoy your time with us and we all look forward to seeing lots more of your work.  :D

Chris
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 16, 2007, 05:48:07 AM
Gyppo snapped off the top third of the artificial Christmas tree and and screamed, "Humbug" as he inserted it into Santa's bottom.

Narnian Prince ate a humbug.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 16, 2007, 07:19:49 AM
Enjoying the bountiful repast before him on Christmas morning, the Narnian Prince was seemingly unaware of Gyppo's tactics to brainwash him until he bit into the sweet and felt the telltale sugar rush.

Tell: Gyppo and the Grinch are related.   :D
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 16, 2007, 07:43:06 AM
Mrs Christmas told her twin sons, John and Grinch, that if they did not stop poaching she would sell them to a passing gypsy.

Tell: Citabria does not like it if Christmas is mentioned before the 20th Dec.



Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 16, 2007, 08:19:59 AM
Citabria could barely his rage as he awoke on the 6th of November to find his hopes dashed again as all the early signs of Christmas were once again evident before the 20th of December.

Tell: Tis the season to be jolly.  :D
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 16, 2007, 08:26:59 AM
Hurbert snatched the gift and tore off the hellishly cheerful Christmas paper only to find that yet again his mother had bought him a canister of nitrous oxide.

Tell: Ollie was secretly in love with the librarian.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 16, 2007, 12:36:58 PM
Ollie wrote at a marvelous pace, then as a busty figure strode by he snuck a lovelorn peek.

Tell: Citabria seems to be in a good mood.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 16, 2007, 01:50:12 PM
Citabria smiled broadly and slapped his old chum on the back, "Nigel, you look great! That new ginger toupee really suits you," he said.

Tell: Narnian Prince contemplated a career in modeling.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Maxine on November 16, 2007, 03:04:16 PM
The model clay dragon stood as the beautiful centre peice of the local art show. 'Hmm! Perhaps I could make a career of this'. Mused the Narnian Prince, then smiled at the notion.

The saxophone played christmas songs.

P.S.  Thanks for the welcome Narnian Prince, it is nice to be back.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 16, 2007, 05:19:18 PM
Although the music teacher had coached everyone on their pieces to play, Gyppo could not resist temptation and, although wildly off-key, blew his sax as loud as he could when the Christmas Carols were introduced.

Tell: Julie celebrated her divorce.

p.s. You're more than welcome Maxine.  I, for one, like your work and look forward to getting an autographed copy of your first best seller!  :D
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 16, 2007, 06:27:15 PM
Julie put on her 'I got rid of the bastard' t-shirt and ran through the streets singing, "I'm H. A. P. P. Y. yes I'm H. A. P. P. Y. ..."

TELL: Julie missed Roger.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 16, 2007, 08:47:14 PM
Julie looked at the door, Roger hadn't been home for days.

Tell: Dan pulled out his gun and shot Ricky.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on November 16, 2007, 10:50:33 PM
The nine-mil Dan produced from his shoulder holster cracked loudly twice. Ricky slumped to the floor.

Tell: The rain was cold.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 16, 2007, 10:53:10 PM
Standing alone at the station door, Joseph noticed that the downfall had taken on a chillier tone.

Tell: Roger begged Julie.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 16, 2007, 11:23:52 PM
On his knees, Roger let out another yelp as his clothes were flung at him, "please, it was a mistake and I'm sorry."

Tell: Dan left quickly to escape the police.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 16, 2007, 11:30:37 PM
Heeding the sharp whistle from the door, Dan retreated out the rear window careful to avoid survailance.

Tell: Sir Nigel was shocked that his toupee shrunk in the wash.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 16, 2007, 11:44:13 PM
"Not again," shouted Nigel as he pulled the tiny ginger mess from the washing machine.

Tell: He coughed up blood.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 16, 2007, 11:50:18 PM
As he tried to concentrate on breathing, after being shot, David found himself choking on the fluids he spewed from his lungs.

Tell:  (here's a classic for you...) It was a dark and stormy night.   :D
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 16, 2007, 11:55:02 PM
Thunder rolled through the windows, a crash of lightening lit the room and was gone.

Tell: He nodded slowly.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 17, 2007, 12:04:33 AM
Exhausted from the beating he had received, thatollie finally agreed to the forced confession, straining to move his head up and down.

Tell:  It was her worst nightmare come true.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Amie on November 17, 2007, 12:07:28 AM
edit:  dagnabbit - Narnian Prince posted while I was writing this!  I'll just do them both then.

(you know, some of these "tells" don't seem that telly to me.  Even given that that's one of the most frequent comments I make about people's writing, that it's too telly.  "He nodded slowly" I think counts as showing rather than telling.  Nevermind, here we go - )

First one:  He let his chin roll down to his chest.  A tumbleweed passed.  He pulled his chin back up, during which time the pages of a calendar flipped through the months and years.  He repeated this process ten times, at the end of which the universe had collapsed and expanded several times.

Second one:  The blood drained from her face as...

Julie thought that Jonathan was a prig.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 17, 2007, 12:16:24 AM
"You're a prig," Julie said to Jon.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: pamela07 on November 17, 2007, 12:44:21 AM
Show:  The prig stood straight up immediately after being called a prig.
Tell:  What is a prig?
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 17, 2007, 12:47:18 AM
I'm not sure, I've been writing so much this morning that I've lost all sense of meaning. And I forgot to post a new tell.

Tell: Pamela wondered what a prig was.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Amie on November 17, 2007, 12:53:12 AM
Show:  Pamela murmured, "Prig?", her head cocked to one side, index finger toying with her lips and eyes scrunched up.

(from dictionary.com, a prig is: "a person who displays or demands of others pointlessly precise conformity, fussiness about trivialities, or exaggerated propriety, esp. in a self-righteous or irritating manner".  This describes my father-in-law perfectly.  So much so that my husband is more likely to refer to his father as "Prig!" than "Dad")

Tell:  Dracula hated liver.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 17, 2007, 01:02:41 AM
Mrs Dracula brought out the sumptuous bloody sponge pudding, County licked his lips, "not until you finish your liver," Mrs Dracula said.

Woefully he picked at it with his fork.


Tell: The first thing Mike had to do was convince Clive that Donkey Hockey was a good commercial investment.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 17, 2007, 01:06:28 AM
Although he played with his own doubts, Mike knew that if he could win Clive over on the latest game, Ass Shinny, they could make a fortune.  (I couldn't resist this one!  :D  Also, hockey is often referred to as shinny here in Canada.  :D )

Tell: Keira's clothes fell.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 17, 2007, 01:15:20 AM
The strap came loose, no, she thought. Her clothes hit the floor as everyone around began to stare.

Tell: Keira covered herself up quickly.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 17, 2007, 01:29:44 AM
Being the modest young noviciate that she was, Keira quickly pulled a nearby robe over herself mumbling apologies to those present.

Tell: Sir Nigel was a gentleman.

(I've got to give him some saving grace.... don't I?  LOL!!!  :D )
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: pamela07 on November 17, 2007, 01:52:31 AM
Kiera, then scantily, bolted from the room, face blood shot red in shame.

The robe wasn't hers.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 17, 2007, 01:54:21 AM
Nigel handed her the robes, with his eyes covered, booing rang around the room.

Tell: Sir Nigel immediately apologised to the crowd.


He's a knight, what was he supposed to do?  8)
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 17, 2007, 03:16:06 AM
Despite earlier preconcieved notions, Sir Nigel said "sorry" to the boors for not entertaining them further and made an equally hasty exit.  :D

Tell: Keira and Sir Nigel went their separate ways.


(Did I mention that both were under vows of celibacy...?  :D )
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Maxine on November 17, 2007, 03:47:42 AM
With a heavy heart and slow steps Keira turned toward the nunnery.  At the door she peeked over her shoulder and watched the kind old man with funny red hair walk to the monastry entrance.

Mother Superior laughed at Keira.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 17, 2007, 04:12:23 AM
As she passed under an awning, Sister Helipolias could not contain her mirth at seeing the scantily clad figure fleeing down the steps.  In the distance she make out the bulk of the elderly monk seeming to come from the same direction.  Now, what have those two been up to?  she pondered.

Tell:  The jet was in a tailspin.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 17, 2007, 06:11:14 AM
Chris wrenched his arms to the left, trying to straighten up, "Damn it, the gears have locked, we're totally screwed."

Tell: Michelle panicked, the pancakes were burning.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Maxine on November 17, 2007, 07:22:59 AM
Watching the pancakes crispen and blacken on the hot stones, Michelle leapt up and grabbed the flatten stick in a vain attemp to rescue them.  "Oh no, King Alfred is going to kill me". He moaned to himself.

The African drums scared him.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on November 17, 2007, 07:36:54 AM
The rhythmic thumping pounded across the Serenghetti plain as he scanned the horizen through is binoculars. The worry lines were etched deeply across his brow.

Tell: The irritated driver honked the horn.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Maxine on November 17, 2007, 07:48:56 AM
Listening to the pounding of the drums Carl failed to hear the taxi driver blasting his horn. 
"Hey, you a tourist or an idiot?  Do you want to get to your hotel or do you want to stand there like a lemon all night?"

The room stank of damp and mould.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 17, 2007, 08:55:28 AM
The used condoms on the mattress, the stale beer odour in the room, the decaying structure itself and suddenly Carl remembered why he hated the company checking him into cheap motels off the beaten track.  Now all he had to do was wake the harlot up and toss her out as her hour was up and her john long gone.  He needed rest.

Tell: The forest echoed of lost souls.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Maxine on November 17, 2007, 10:08:37 AM
An eerie moan accompanied by the sighing of dead things and the rattle of winter branches sent a shivver down his spine.  The forest, that was his grandmother's garden and his childhood playground, did not welcome visitors any longer.  Without his grandmother there it was a desolate place.

She squinted into the bright sunlight.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on November 17, 2007, 10:21:35 AM
The sun dazzled and as she peered westward, the crow's feet around her gray eyes deepened.

Tell: She was old.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Maxine on November 17, 2007, 11:29:18 AM
Celia felt every one of her eighty years today.  Her great grandson stood next to her smiling and greeting guests, being solicitous and agreeing with everyone that an eightieth birthday was indeed a good reason to celebrate.  Inside, in her most private of places Celia vehemently disagreed with him.  Eighty was a lonely place to be.

The dog ran wimpering from the noise of the fireworks.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 17, 2007, 01:27:12 PM
As the explosive retorts continued with no sign of abatement, the puppy sought the nearest retreat from which to escape the noise.  His cries, from under the porch, went unheard due to the din.

Tell: The party got out of hand.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 17, 2007, 03:19:44 PM
The liberal Democrats eventually lost the plot and started attending PMQs dressed in nothing but lime green thongs.

Tell: Gordon's bum itched.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 17, 2007, 04:51:08 PM
Having to hide quickly from his peers was not Gordon's forte, as such he failed to notice the rather large patch of poison ivy in which he was sitting sans clothing.   :D  (I do know of a particularly amorous couple that this occurred to in real life in college.  They still get ribbed to this day of the 'accident'.  :D )

Tell: Harry was disgusted.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 17, 2007, 05:01:49 PM
"You must be fluckin jokin," said Harry, "he had eleven metric feet in the first line of his limerick. No way, just no way man!"

Tell: Sir Nigel fancied one of his servants (probably his footman).
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 17, 2007, 05:09:00 PM
Having no luck with the noviciates (?) at the nunnery nor the ladies at the MWC bar, Sir Nigel cast his eyes around the nervous lads in his company.  Reading his intent, they all quivered visibly and prayed inwardly to be spared the misfortune.  As luck would have it, his footman chose that moment to return from the showers clad only in a towel and whistling a show tune.

Tell: Citabria plotted revenge.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 17, 2007, 05:19:44 PM
Citabria sat on the sofa and drew a picture of YelnickMcMotherHubbard on his Etch-a-sketch. As he sketched he dictated, "  ... that's all Mr Hunt. This Etch-a-sketch will self destruct in 30 seconds."

Gyppo felt a bit sad.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 17, 2007, 05:27:48 PM
In a rare moment of human feeling, Gyppo regarded what he had said and done in the MWC bar and regretted it all.  Then, cheering himself up, he chose to ignore the moment and continue on his current track.  :D

Tell: Cathy eyed Citabria suspiciously.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 18, 2007, 05:25:20 AM
Cathy took a step closer and tentatively reached for the item as it lay motionless on the table. She frowned and asked, "Is it real?"

TELL: Rolf hated is mother in law.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 18, 2007, 06:50:56 AM
It was bad enough that the woman had pretty much taken over the entire wedding but, when she burst into the bridal suite without knocking, Rolph felt he had cause to curse his new bride's mother.

Tell: The wedding night got ugly.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 18, 2007, 07:14:42 AM
They sat on the bed and Rolf reached across and lifted his new wife's veil to reveal a face like a baboon's arse. Thankfully he was drunk enough not to care. "You're lovely ... hic ... I really fancy you," he said as he stroked her hairy chin.

Tell: William hated apples.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 18, 2007, 09:28:09 AM
Although he was determined to lose at least half his weight of 30 stone, William despised the diet of fruit and vegetables that the dietician had put him on.  Particularly hsi loathing of apples.

Tell: the poker game lasted too long.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 18, 2007, 09:41:54 AM
Rolf's incontinence pants were full to bursting point but he was certain that if he kept playing his luck was sure to turn.

Tell: Gyppo missed his long dead ferret Horace.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 18, 2007, 09:46:30 AM
Despite the months that had gone by, Gyppo remained inconsolable as he mourned the loss of Horace, his ferocious ferret, who had been rightfully exterminated for biting young children.

Tell: Ronald could not believe his luck.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 18, 2007, 10:18:44 AM
Ronald put on a suitably neutral expression when Mrs Ronald told him that her mother was moving to Alaska.

Tell: Alaska is cold.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on November 18, 2007, 10:30:32 AM
The glaciers moved down the mountains, surrounding Juneau - the only state capital with this problem.

The Amazon is hot.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 18, 2007, 11:33:05 AM
The thin blankets stuck to Pete's skin, "why is he even dragging us on this expedition?"

Tell: Cathy downed her Southern Comfort.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 18, 2007, 12:51:38 PM
Cathy sat slumped on the floor in the corner of the barroom. In her right hand she held a bottle of Southern Comfort. She stared at Gyppo, wide eyed, fascinated by all the hair. Without taking her eyes off his face, she slowly lifted the bottle to her lips and took a large gulp. She swallowed, belched loudly and then began to giggle.

Tell: Gyppo's goat was unconcerned by Cathy's behaiour

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Amie on November 18, 2007, 12:54:35 PM
Show:  Gyppo's goat inspected its hooves for dirt as Cathy cavorted in front of it.

Tell:  Sattie was feeling despondent that so many of the tells were in fact shows.  She thought, "At this rate, it would take 500 pages just to set the scene in the average novel".  She was grateful that the "tell" she responded to was a genuine tell, and not one of these, "Gladys played with the telephone cord" type tells (which is in fact a show).
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 18, 2007, 01:15:45 PM
Sattie strode into the MWC office in her highly polished thigh length boots. She loudly thwacked a copy of 'vogue' against Banarnian Prince's head just to get everyones attention. "Tell! Tell you dimwits. Now get a grip or I'll have you all flogged," she shrieked. She turned and stormed out.

"Who the hell was that?" asked thatollie.

"No idea," said Citabria, "but she's given me a boner."

Tell: Sir Nigel felt smug.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Gyppo on November 18, 2007, 02:29:51 PM
It was so unfair, mused Smug the orphaned duck-billed platypus.  Every night was a torment for him as he heard the boots ring along the corridor outside his cage and then stop.  Everyone thought Sir Nigel was a saint for adopting him, but ever night, after a through groping from the errant Lord, he wept himself to sleep and dreamed of the good old days with Rolf Harris when they both ganged up on the securely bound kangaroo.

Tell.  Citabra is a clown.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 18, 2007, 02:42:34 PM
"Life's so unfair," moaned Citabria. "I have to wear these great big shoes and these stupid trousers with the hoop in the waistband. And every sodding morning I get half way to work and the bloody car falls apart."

"Yes dear," said Mrs C as she threw a custard pie at him.

Tell: thatollie was fond of his single chopstick.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on November 18, 2007, 03:35:35 PM
Thatollie carressed the oversized toothpick. He gazed longingly at the length of polished wood. And then he picked up a fork and ate his Eggs Foo Yung.

Writers are odd.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 18, 2007, 03:46:48 PM
SPChick sat at her desk typing her latest novel. After she had written ten words she stood, pirouetted to the right 3 times, then sat down and continued. After the next ten words she stood, pirouetted to the left 5 times, then sat down and continued. When she completed a full chapter she celebrated by dancing the fandango with her pet slug Dave.

Tell: Slugs make good dance partners (allegedly).
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Roisin on November 18, 2007, 03:56:50 PM
She hadn't believed the rumor at first, but she desperately needed to learn the dance for the show and had no one to practice with. In the dead of night, she stole out into the garden and hunted in the soft earth, a cd-player in her hand. There were bound to be slugs there.

Tell: Citabria was robbed.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 18, 2007, 04:08:53 PM
Citabria kicked the first dwarf in the cobblers and he slumped to the ground like a dwarf that had been kicked in the cobblers. The other three seemed to have second thoughts, but then, remembering the value of the prize, they attacked with renewed vigor and eventually forced Citabria to the ground and removed the chopstick from his manbag.

"Bastards!" he shouted after them as the four dwarfs ran off with the precious thatollie chopstick.

Tell: Dolphins are people too.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 18, 2007, 09:36:59 PM
Mr and Mrs Porpoise drove to the front of the restaurant, "I'm sorry," said the valet, "we only park for humans."

"But we have a reservation," Mark said.

"There's a perfectly good parking lot down the road," they parked there and went to another restaurant.


Tell: The Cranes of Maine have got your living Brain.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Amie on November 18, 2007, 11:34:11 PM
The Cranes were sprawled about the living room of their sumptuous home in York Harbor (Maine).  In a glass jar on the coffee table sat a brain, glowing and throbbing in the dim light.  Stenciled in faint lettering at the base of the jar were the words "thatollie's brain".

Mr Crane leaned back and exhaled a plume of cigar smoke.  "Is there any point keeping this thing?" he asked, indicating the pickled brain in the jar.

"Oh please let's keep it!" cried Mrs Crane. "I realise it is defective - one can tell from the quality of 'tells' it is beginning to generate - but we might still get something useful out of it.  Can't you see it has a rather special glow? Can we keep it, can we, please?"

"Very well then," said Mr Crane.  "But I'm not feeding it!"


Tell:  It was all getting a bit surreal.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 18, 2007, 11:38:12 PM
After several thousand words of talking bananas, thatollie sighed and searched the internet for information on loading a Heckler and Koch USP .45.

Tell: Sydney was a talking banana.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 19, 2007, 04:00:34 AM
In the alternative reality of Fruit World, Sydney the banana was chatting to his cousin Bananian Prince. “I hear you’ve taken up writing Bananian, how’s that going?” said Sydney.

“I’m having trouble holding the pen,” Bananian replied.

Tell: Rolf resented being the fall guy in so many stories.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Gyppo on November 19, 2007, 05:56:27 AM
Settling into the prone position Rolf sighed happily as he cradled his M40 snipers rifle - with the special cyber-shooting attachment - and his eyes searched hungrily through the 'scope.  "You'll pay, you bastards." he whispered.  One thought marred this exquisite moment...  Who was to be first?

"So many targets, so little time."  His breathing quickened and the 36x sight picture began to dance as indecision overwhelmed him.  "Like a kid in a damned sweetshop."

Then he grinned at the camera whirring away on a nearby tripod.  "Can you guess who it is yet?"

Tell:  Ernest Hemingway is not dead.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on November 19, 2007, 06:13:58 AM
There was an old man. By the sea. He visited Mount Kilimanjaro. He saw elephants. He shot them. His name was Papa. He moved on. Now he focuses on you. Swilling gin. Aiming his elephant rifle. Beware.


Tell: Gyppo's goat mauled thatollie's chopstick
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 19, 2007, 06:30:16 AM
Having rescued thatollie's chopstick from the rampaging dwarfs, Gyppo's goat Arnold, placed it on the floor and tried to beat it to death with one of Lin's giant clogs. Unfortunately for Arnold, the chopstick refused to die. The clog however, was damaged beyond repair.

Nigel was worried that these strong winds we have been having might dislodge his new toupee.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 19, 2007, 09:03:21 AM
Reaching for the rusting nail gun in his aging tool chest, which he very rarely used, Nigel crowed over the unique idea he had devised for securing his new rug to his head.  Despite the intense pain and copious amounts of blood streaming down his face, he stepped forward into the gale.

Barbara stared at him.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Amie on November 19, 2007, 12:02:35 PM
She stared at him, incredulous that a simple action such as "staring" is now considered "telling".  But, having introduced some telling into her response, she felt beholden to explain that the physical signs of her incredulity included a dropped jaw and derisive snort.

Tell:  She had a very low tolerance for mistaking showing with telling, which made her an easy target for mockery ;)
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 19, 2007, 12:36:01 PM
The evil Sir Nigel Toupee of Goule and his half-witted accomplice Rolf Phlange were torturing the enigmatic young poet in the cruelest manner.

“Tell the poet how you feel Rolf,” said the flatulent lord.

Rolf began to cartwheel round the dungeon giggling as he went.

“I can’t take any more!” screamed the poet.

Sir Nigel sniggered.

Tell: Canadians are very similar to Americans.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 19, 2007, 04:35:36 PM
With the exception of science proving them to be vastly superior in intelligence, wit, ability to brew better alcoholic beverages and morals, Canadians are quite like their single browed cousins to the south in that they can, at the turn of a dime, put a dreadfully neuseating twang into their voices and do very bad impressions of country and western music as though it were supposed to be interesting or something.  The vast majority of americans are unaware of this as the bulk of their days is preferably tied up in endless and useless traffic snarls, road rage and political arguments that never make any sort of sense whatsoever no matter who the puppet is that's in power on a given date.  americans often hold an intense envy for their highly respected Canadian relatives to the north and many try to go there to claim asylum and escape the clutches of the barbaric non-thinkers that often given them meaningless and useless tasks to perform for a poor excuse of a pay cheque.


(:D  I could, of course, go on and on and on and on and on but I highly suspect that Saturnine is drifting in here with a very large heavy book with which she intends to beat me into submission despite any pleas made on my behalf for mercy.  LOL!!!  :D )

Tell:  Saturnine beat a hasty retreat!
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on November 19, 2007, 05:12:03 PM
I had no idea that Mr. Prince was a Hasty Retreat. I thought he was a hasty pudding. But I digress.

The lovely Saturnine took great pains to lift an Oxford English Dictionary over her head and whollop the aforementioned Mr. Prince soundly about the head and shoulders after he totally miligned the efervescent and ebullient neighbors located just south of the frigid and tundra-like north, the maple leaf country. A Country that isn't even a country but a colony, something that the brave, heroic, and pupply like southern portion of the continent managed to remedy.

After the OED finally fell to shreds and Mr. Prince was a bloody mess resembling a Sunday afternoon hockey game, Nines elegantly left the room while inspecting the horror of a chipped nail. She reached for her nail file and immediately felt better.

Sir Nigel loved Queen Elizabeth (I and/or II)
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 19, 2007, 05:30:53 PM
Sir Nigel picked up a box of tissues and his well thumbed copy of 'Queens Named Betty' and headed up to bed.

Tell: SpChick felt remorse over her harsh statements about the hapless Banarnian.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 19, 2007, 09:57:13 PM
SpChick helped the bloodied Banarnian to his feet, this was all her fault.


Tell: George W Bush felt sad that soon he would no longer be President.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on November 19, 2007, 10:11:13 PM
Dejectedly, George W looked into moving to Canada since he would soon be out of a job. He liked hockey and snow, and he had a mad crush on hapless Banarnian, a Prince of a man who would understand a hapless President. Perhaps they would become fast friends, eh?

Tell: Snow is cold.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Roisin on November 19, 2007, 10:14:56 PM
SpChick squealed as Citabria flung tightly-packed snowballs in her direction. The icy pieces melted as they touched her warm skin and trickled down her neck.

Tell: Citabria is a good marksman.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 19, 2007, 10:56:45 PM
Lying in wait behind a snow drift, Citabria padded some of it into a ball. The crunch of footsteps was the signal. He jumped up and unloaded his ammo at SpChick.

Tell: Kermit the Frog tried to assassinate Ringo Starr.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Amie on November 20, 2007, 01:16:11 AM
Humming, "It's not easy being green" to himself, Kermit whittled the end of a drumstick to a sharp point.  It immediately drew blood when tested against his index finger.  He then fixed the spike at heart height to the back of Ringo's chair.  "Heh, heh, heh, " he chuckled, "that talentless halfwit never looks before he sits down".

Tell: He's not really that overrated, he just hasn't had a genuine challenge that would enable him to show off his skills.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 20, 2007, 04:12:26 AM
Rolf was buying some new batteries for his Xylophone when his mobile rang.

“Hi Rolf, it’s Nigel your agent,” said Nigel his agent. “I have had a call from the Arctic Monkeys; they want you as the new keyboard player in the band.”

“At last, a chance to show off my talents,” said Rolf.

He hung up the call and turned to the shop assistant, “You better make those long life batteries, “ he said.

Tell: Cats are evil.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 20, 2007, 06:45:58 AM
Tabbie sat on the stairs, slyly sticking out a leg whenever someone tried to pass him.

Tell: Mike felt that no one took him seriously.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 20, 2007, 07:10:29 AM
As he put on the finishing touches to his clown make up, Mike reflected on his chosen path with the circus and reflected morosely that no one understood him properly.

Tell: Saturnine had a secret crush.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 20, 2007, 07:15:06 AM
Saturnine knocked over the pedestal holding her husband's favourite Styrofoam cup,
turning to see what happened, she stepped on it. She went into the kitchen and replaced
it.

Tell: Ricky had a strange feeling, as though the world was ending.

= = = = =
Sat has asked me to post the difference.

Telling: stating what the motivations or emotional state of a character is (eg "Stanley was amused" or "Jack idolised footballers")

Showing:  describing action or imagery so that a reader can infer the motivations and/or emotional state of a character (eg, "Stanley burst into laughter" or "Jack spent all his time at the football ground, and had memorised the vital statistics of every player")
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Amie on November 20, 2007, 09:20:45 AM
Ricky felt a wrench in his gut and his heart began to beat faster.  He looked up at the sky and the stars all appeared to rush in at him at once, sucking the oxygen from the atmosphere in their passage.

Tell:  It was the best sandwich Bunny had ever tasted.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 20, 2007, 09:40:53 AM
Lord Sandwich invented a bready snack and asked his wife Bunny to taste it.

Tell: Sebastian thought existentialism was very silly.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 20, 2007, 04:23:06 PM
Bas passed the fortune teller by, with a curt snort of derision.

Tell: Ron lay on the grass, thinking about philosophy.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on November 20, 2007, 04:36:23 PM
Plato's shadows made more of an impression on Ron than the shadows cast by the oak tree that shielded him from the burning sun while he reclined lazily on the lawn.

Tell: His clothes were a mess.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Roisin on November 20, 2007, 06:22:43 PM
The werewolf found himself lying on the floor, missing his shirt. His pants had been torn at the knees and coated in mud. Only one of his shoes remained, and it was barely held together on his naked foot.

Tell: SpChick was loud.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on November 20, 2007, 08:07:07 PM
The woman was dressed in a plaid skirt that was two sizes too large and a striped shirt that was three sizes too large. Her strident voice screeched across the room as she complained loudly that people were NOT FOLLOWING THE RULES. She was rude, accusatory, and her voice carried far and wide. The pitch was ear splitting and the tone was abrasive. She was enough to give anyone a headache.

"Who is that woman?" asked Priscilla.

"Oh, that's SpChick," answered Magnolia. "Isn't she just a piece of work?"

Tell: Bananas are delicious.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 21, 2007, 12:08:12 PM
Sydney tried to hide behind an orange as the slobbering Sir Nigel entered the kitchen.

Tell: Rolf was irritated by the ring tone on his lovers mobile/cell phone.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 21, 2007, 09:00:56 PM
Slade's Christmas song rang out around the bedroom, again. Rolf made a hasty retreat to the kitchen.

Tell: It was time Rolf did something about Snige's Damn ring tone.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on November 21, 2007, 09:46:28 PM
Rolf held his head and moaned in anguish. He could not bear to hear that horrid sound even one more time. There was only so much a man could take. Hearing midi tones despoiling the cherished Tiny Dancer was simply more than he could take. He picked up a four-inch silver lame high heeled shoe that just happened to be close at hand and beat the cellphone into a pile of wires and plastic. Snige would have to purchase a new phone and perhaps he could stop the downloading of vile desecration of sacred songs as ring tones.

Tell: Sir Nigel woke up crabby.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 21, 2007, 09:48:59 PM
Snige cough up a piece of metal, looking at it, it was all too familiar, "Rolf!"

Tell: Rolf tried to avoid the enraged Snige.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 22, 2007, 03:11:22 AM
Snige entered the bedroom carrying a tube of KY jelly and a large butternut squash. Rolf, eyes wide with terror, leapt out of bed and dashed for the window. He almost made it, but as he was fumbling with the catch, Snige grabbed him by the ankle and pulled him back towards the bed ...

Tell: For reasons unknown, Rolf had a fear of butternut squash.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 22, 2007, 03:16:58 AM
Upon the table sat a butternut Squash, "no, no, no," Rolf screamed when he saw it.

Tell: Sales of Butternut squash have been declining.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on November 22, 2007, 06:30:25 AM
At the farmers market, the tables holding tomatoes were bare, as were those for green beans and onion. However, the table of butternut squash was heaped high while knowing men sneered.

Tell: KY jelly sales were on the uprise.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 22, 2007, 06:54:49 AM
Second only to pointless industrial strike action, butternut squash abuse has become the most popular hobby in France in recent years. "We are very appy," said a spokesman from La KY.

Tell: Rolf was ambivalent about the French.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 22, 2007, 08:59:02 PM
"Why don't we go to Paris on our hols?" Snige asked.

Rolf began to back out of the room slowly.



Tell: Sir Nigel plotted his revenge against Citabria and thatollie.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Amie on November 23, 2007, 02:08:15 AM
"heh heh heh" Sir Nigel chuckled, as he injected itching powder into Tabbie and ollie's favourite communal condom stash.

Tell:  It was a supercilious cat.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 23, 2007, 02:45:40 AM
The cat walked past all the other entries into, "show v Tell," without bothering to look at them.
[I think that may be a bit telly]

Tell: Gary stared at the cat, think that it was taunting him.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Amie on November 23, 2007, 03:10:28 AM
The cat walked past all the other entries into, "show v Tell," without bothering to look at them.
[I think that may be a bit telly]

I didn't think so.  But how about:  The cat walked past all the entries in "show v. tell", its tail sticking straight up and its nose in the air.  Or is that trying too hard?

for your tell, how about: ... ooo, that's a toughie.  It might be a good candidate for just letting it be a show.  But I'll have a go....

Gary glared at the cat, "You think you're so clever, so much better than everyone else.  Little do you know that I've put Ex-lax in your Purina"

It was the worst day of his life.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 23, 2007, 03:32:22 AM
Sitting upon his sandbox, the cat's anus exploded with another deluge of poop, "damn you Gary," it screamed.

Tell: The cat had a suitable revenge planned.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 23, 2007, 04:49:56 AM
The cat continued to exist.

Aside: The superciliously cat is a tricky one. I thought that yours were bobbins till I tried it myself  ;D

Tell: Olllie's lover for Beryl was waning.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 23, 2007, 04:52:55 AM
Ollie rolled over in bed, these eyes can look anywhere else but not at her.

Tell: Fjordy hasn't been about the forum for a while.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Amie on November 23, 2007, 06:18:24 AM
Each day, thatollie would scour the "Who's Online" list, praying for a glimpse of "fjordy".  After many disappointments and several sleepless nights, thatollie started stalking Rolf instead.

tell:  I'm really not that bitchy, I just meant the planet, honest!
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 24, 2007, 04:27:59 AM
How do I tell people that my mood is a facade, pondered Saturnine.  After all, she mused, I'm that way with everyone everywhere.  But do they think I'm lying through it all?

Tell: I can have often have the persona of the invisible man.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 24, 2007, 05:22:10 AM
Banarnian slammed his fist on the counter with a thud. "I have been stood at this bar for 2 hours now, and still I can't get served!" he said.

The man that was standing next to him looked around him in astonishment. "Who the hell said that?" he asked.

Tell: Rolf wondered if invisible people walk around naked.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on November 24, 2007, 08:05:36 AM
Rolf sat musing at the bar. He suddenly acquired a salacious, sardonic leer. "I wonder," he mused "if Banarnian, the Invisible Man, goes around naked." He continued to stroke the stirrer in his drink. Up and down, up and down.

Citabria wondered about Rolf
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 24, 2007, 08:36:51 AM
Citabria tapped th side of his head with a finger, I wonder why Rolf insists on wearing lederhosen, he mused.

Tell: SpChick fancied a cup of Pumpkin Spice coffee and a muffin.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on November 24, 2007, 09:18:45 AM
SpChick liked her men like her coffee: hot, black, and rich. This stud muffin in front of her was certainly hot, definitely black, and looked (when dressed) to be rich. The combination made her smile dreamily. She purred, "Let's keep you up, dear. How about a cup of freshly brewed coffee? It's Pumpkin Spice. Then, Muffin, once you are restored, we can repair to the boudoir again." She thought to herself, "and again, and again." Ah, a life of pleasure.

Sir Nigel was wounded.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 24, 2007, 09:40:08 AM
Sir Nigel liked his women like his horses; hairy sweaty and always ready for a ride. This latest filly though had shown just a bit too much enthusiasm and that's why he now stood in the bathroom bathing the scratches on his back with neat vodka.

Tell: Citabria was trying to decide whether to serve croûtons or fresh baked bread with the broccoli and lemon soup he had just made.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Gyppo on November 24, 2007, 02:17:31 PM
Citabria banged his head against the front of the stove with increasing violence.  Why had he ever been so stupid? Putting croûtons before cretins would be like pearls before swine.  "Soddit!" he snarled, "A rat cheese sarnie would have been more than enough for this mob."

Tell:  Gyppo was feeling playful.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Roisin on November 24, 2007, 02:22:03 PM
A colorful hat (complete with propellor) perched atop his head, Gyppo giggled like a child as he flew down the slide and raced to the swings. The children stared as the hairy man forced his way onto a swing and kicked his legs, cackling.

Tell: SpChick needed psychic evaluation.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 24, 2007, 06:50:11 PM
Special Agent Ian Prince of the FBI sat at his desk reading SpChick's file. "Wow this woman is amazing," he said. "She can read chicken bones, see the future in crystal balls and she plays a mean hand of Tarot. We better get her in for evaluation."

Tell: Roisin was pining for the fjords.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on November 24, 2007, 06:59:06 PM
Roisin was a devotee to America and American history. She held a special place in her heart for non-elected President Gerald Fjord.

Dogs are nearly human.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 25, 2007, 03:12:58 AM
"Hello Marshall," said Marcel the poodle to his owner Eminem.

"Yo Dog," said the famous rapper. "Fancy a game of table tennis?"

"I'm sorry Marshal; although I have the intellectual capability to understand the game, I am unable to hold the little bat in my paw. How about we do a line of coke instead?"

Tell: Guns don't kill people wrappers (sic) do!



Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Gyppo on November 25, 2007, 04:48:40 AM
"Yo.  He swallowed ten Mars bars wi'out unwrappin'
felt kind of ill, then tried crappin',
couldn't shift that papery lump
no matter how he tried to dump,
belly filled up wi' gas inside'...
Lit a joint and then he died.
Kaboom!

Tell:  Mars bars may send you there.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 25, 2007, 07:04:51 AM
Mr Splock was enjoying a cool refreshing glass of his own urine in a bar on planet Mars.

"You look like you are on cloud nine," said his buddy, chief engineer Scrotie.

"Well my little Canadian friend, these Mars bars can do that to you," said Splock.

Tell: Gyppo longed for the good old days to return.


Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on November 25, 2007, 03:29:24 PM
Gyppo thought back to the days when he weilded his sword with power rather than the diminished strength trapped in old age. He remembered the damsels in their nubile beauty and his responses to them. He smiled, perhaps even leered. He missed his youth.

Citabria enjoyed bananas.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 25, 2007, 03:40:15 PM
As a young kid Citabria used to sit and watch the Banana Splits on TV and laugh his little smelly socks off. Of course by the age of 14 he had turned to drugs and hard core porn and put all that banarnian twaddle behind him for good.

Tell: Banarnian Prince was worried about the King's plans to form a republic.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: DGSquared on November 25, 2007, 06:13:01 PM
"I cannot allow this to happen," demanded the Prince. "How can I send my Lords to rape, plunder, and over tax my dominion if my senile father gets his way and allows a democracy? My reign would be ruined!"




Citabria liked to cook.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 26, 2007, 05:12:05 AM
Citabria, salivating, finished reading the latest book on cannibalism and had a sudden urge to get out his skillets and pots.  The last pot luck had gone over very well, he reflected, and the tips he had just read would lend a whole new meaning to serving his guests properly.  Vlad the impaler grinned at him from the shadows as he thought about licking the pans before cleaning them.  Citabria did have a skill.

DGSquared suddenly found herself in a quandry.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Amie on November 26, 2007, 03:04:29 PM
DGSquared considered the possibilities: plain milk or chocolate?  It was a decision of epic proportions.

Tell:  It was a decision of epic proportions.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on November 26, 2007, 03:10:41 PM
There was plain milk and chocolate. Then there was egg nog. And not to forget malted milk. And one could have strawberry, banana, or even bubble gum flavoring. And after all that, ice cream could be added and a milkshake made. It was all too much. She simply couldn't decide. She would have water.

Pantyhose are uncomfortable.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 26, 2007, 03:47:14 PM
Sir Nigel's nose and ears were squashed and he was finding it difficult to breathe. "How much longer must I wear these tights on my head?" he asked Rolf.

Tell: The man was aroused.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Amie on November 26, 2007, 03:55:49 PM
"Wake up Tabbie!!!", the prison guard shouted, throwing a bowl of ice water and fish guts over Citabria's head.

Tell:  Cats are really quite fabulous.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 26, 2007, 04:07:20 PM
"Throw another cat on the campfire," said Gyppo, "they burn for ages and they're much easier to get hold of than logs."

Tell: She was worried about Rolf's performance.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 27, 2007, 06:30:47 AM
As Rolph's step became more and more uncertain on stage, his date for the evening, Helurnia, became concerned as to what he had gotten himself into.  As he flubbed yet another romantic line and more of the audience sought the exits, the warden came to realize her choice had failed.

Tell: Failure was not an option.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on November 27, 2007, 07:37:04 AM
The fate of the entire world was at stake. Well, the fate of the US of A, anyway. Maybe just the fate of the great state of South Carolina. Perhaps just the Charleston area. If she chipped a nail here, all would be lost. Such is the burden of heroes.

The bat lay on the ground.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 27, 2007, 08:52:35 AM
It's shriveled wing flapped pathetically against the pavement.

Tell: A crumbling throne of marble. Twisted twigs and sprigs, his crown of ash and holly was dying.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 27, 2007, 09:40:47 AM
"What the hell's wrong with that marble toilet? One decent fart and it disintegrates!" shouted Rolf as he marched out of the mansion and into the garden to avail himself of the bushes. On completion he started to realize that he should have brought some toilet paper with him. No matter a handful of twisted twigs and sprigs did the job.

As he re-enterd the house through the french windows, Sir Nigel emptied his pipe from the balcony above sending clouds of St Bruno tobacco ash all over Rolf's head. "Can it get any worse?" he asked no one in particular.

As he reached the snooker room, Peeves the butler tapped him on the shoulder. "Excuse me Sir, I have some bad news about your wife."

"Holly? what's up with the old trout?"

"She appears to be choking on a pretzel Sir," said Peeves.

Tell: Ollie wished he was braver.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 27, 2007, 11:34:23 AM
Ollie considered the scene before him abject horror.  There on the blood stained carpet Holly, his best friend's wife, writhed in agony.  Her face becoming a more darkened red now, she grasped at her throat and made motions in Ollie's direction.  Feeling the blood drain from his face, Ollie wished he'd paid more attention in health classes as to what to do.  He called out to Peeves just before fainting.

Tell: Rolf took things in stride.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on November 27, 2007, 11:58:05 AM
Rolf looked over at all the people crumpled on the floor in heaps. There was Holly, gasping for air as she choked on either a chicken bone or some new kinky sex toy. Rolf couldn't tell from his vantage point. And there, in another messy heap, was Ollie the unbrave. Who would have thought that Ollie would be so unnerved? Rolf simply sauntered over to the liquor cart and poured himself a spot of Port. Peeves would clean up this mess.

Peeves was peeved.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 27, 2007, 12:17:58 PM
Peeves was beginning to regret hiding his new knob ring in the pretzels. One simple mistake and now he had a chinless bimbo choking on the shag pile and an unconscious mummy's boy blocking the dining room door. As usual everyone seemed to be looking for him to sort this crap out.

Tell: Holly saw her life flash before her.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 27, 2007, 12:38:57 PM
It only took an instant but in that brief eternity Holly saw what a sewage pile she had made of her life by marrying Rolf.  It didn't seem to matter that he had picked her from the piles of waste on the roadside and cleaned her up, her quest for material wealth as a revenge over those who had abused her, was now proving worthless.  As the object in her throat seemed to dig deeper and allow even less air into her fractured windpipe, Holly realized that no one was exactly rushing to her aid.

Tell: She was snatched from the jaws of death.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on November 28, 2007, 05:05:04 PM
Nell was tied to the railroad tracks as the steam engine roared in the distance. The vibrations of the tracks increased and the sound of the eerie whistle grew louder. Nasty McFarland had tied her here in order to pillage the farm. If he had been more of a man, he would have ravaged her and given up on the idea of pillage. But McFarland was more interested in Dudly Do-right, Nell's own lover. As she lay there, frightened and constrained, she wept. Gallons of tears streamed down her cheeks as she felt the world fast coming to an end. And then, like a miracle, there was Dudly, cutting her free from the tracks as the locomotive steamed towards them. He thrust Nell aside as the engine roared past. They could feel the heat of the engine, smell the smoke. She was safe and Dudly was unbuttoning his fly.

Tell: Men only think about one thing.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 28, 2007, 05:39:59 PM
As Sir Nigel rogered his latest filly he wondered how his stocks were doing.

Tell: Women NEVER think about just one thing!
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 28, 2007, 07:43:01 PM
Wonderingly, Nell stared as Sir Nigel cast her aside and mounted his filly.  That damned horse again, she cursed under her breath but then her thoughts were drawn to the tear in her gown and how much the thread was going to cost to fix it.

Tell: The shopkeeper had a gleam in his eye.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: DGSquared on November 29, 2007, 02:23:35 AM
The sensual smell of her perfume wafted in the door before she entered from the street. He knew before he even looked at her that she would be the answer to his dreams and desires. He inhaled slowly, deeply to savor the moment and taste her enticing aroma. As her stilettos landed on the marble floor he noticed he was licking his lips as his eyes made their way up her silky stockings to her firm thighs. I'm here to buy some toys," she purred playfully.




She bought some toys.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 29, 2007, 06:24:18 AM
Moving up from her thighs, Rolph's view took in the rest of the angelic sight before him.  The fiery redhead with sky blue eyes had obviously spent some time pouring her very voluptuous form into the far too small mini skirt and matching tank top.  His heart almost stopped and he caught his breath sharply at the words, "Want Me?" emblazoned in neon green on black across the breast portion of the top.  She slowly closed her eyes and blew him a seductive kiss before repeating her request.  Hypnotically, and unaware of the damage he was doing as he banged into things, Rolph led her about the store.  His gaze never wavered as she picked up all manner of things created for sexual pleasure.  He answered her questions with a stutter that he hadn't known since childhood as he assisted her in her purchases.

Tell: She left him with an invite. 
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: DGSquared on November 29, 2007, 06:36:37 AM
Rolf held an envelope in his shaking hands, sniffed the paper and carefully tore the brightly colored paper. He read it with disbelief. Denial, ferocity, and disappointment overtook him as the read the card.

Birthday Party For: Little Davy
When: Saturday, May 22, 2008
Time:2:00 PM
Where: Chimp E Cheeses Pizza Palace

With a footnote on the bottom that read:

*Congratulations, you got the clown job. Show up twenty minutes early and please learn how to tie balloon animals or your tip will be minimal.


He got the job.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on November 29, 2007, 06:51:19 AM
Rolf was so smitten - okay, so full of lust - that he considered working with this lovely vision a plus. He purchased some makeup, a multicolored wig, some extra large shoes, and studied for weeks on how to make balloon animals. Unfortunately, he had no balloon and so practiced with condoms, albeit the colored and flavored sort. As he got more practice, his balloon creations improved.

Rolf's balloon shapes were odd.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 29, 2007, 07:21:41 AM
I've just read the last 3 posts and feel as if I have accidentally stumbled into a blogging site  ;D
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 29, 2007, 07:28:00 AM
"Rolf dear, I don't think the diet is working," said Sir Nigel. "Your arse seems to be ballooning and those skin tight jeans are not doing you any favours whatsoever."

Rolf twisted so that he could see his rear in the bedroom mirror. "Does my bum look odd in this?" he asked.

Tell: Rolf desperately wanted a nice tight arse.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 29, 2007, 07:07:17 PM
Rolph looked sadly at the full length mirror and considered what years of wolfing down cream puffs at every turn had done to his svelt high school figure.  Cursing the many young men who had bribed him with the fattening treats, Rolph considered the options... lyposuction? dieting? tummy stapling?  The pros and cons to each seemed larger than his constantly expanding backside.  But as the years crept by he knew a decision must be made quickly if he were to fulfill his heart's desire and dance the lead in the upcoming production of Swan Lake.

Tell: Sally had the answer.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 29, 2007, 08:44:43 PM
"I have the answer," said Sally.

Tell: Rolf was mad.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on November 29, 2007, 08:56:40 PM
Rolf was sure that the air was green and had evil thoughts concerning his balloons. He heard the sounds of inorganic matter skirting around his cerebellum. He saw the smell of roasting turkey and it was orange. He would have liked to scratch his nose, the sleeves of his jacket were so long that they were buckled together behind his back. It was so strange.

Princess Gwendolyn loved strawberries
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 29, 2007, 09:04:32 PM
The plump fruit was firm in her hand, her teeth dug into it, leaving a trail of juice running down her cheek.
I feel slightly unclean.

Tell: Gwendolen didn't share her fruit.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 30, 2007, 04:58:51 AM
Gwendolen locked her chastity belt and threw away the key.

Tell: Rolf appeared mad but inside he felt as normal as thatollie.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on November 30, 2007, 12:57:56 PM
"Nurse, could you move e2 to e4 for me please? My hands are tied at the moment," said thatollie, wriggling in his straitjacket.

"Nurse, I'll respond with g8 to f6," replied Rolf.


Tell: Nurse Gwendolyn was kind of sick of moving the pieces for them.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on November 30, 2007, 01:45:10 PM
Nurse Gwendolyn looked at the two fruitcakes tied up in straight jackets and sighed. Why did she always get the loser patients. Why didn't she ever get the glamerous cases? No, she got idiots who thought they were playing a game of chess when there were nothing but a few bits of drooled blobs of SpaghettiOs on the tiled floor. She shoved a medium sized noodle to a different tile and glared at the two inmates.

Tell: Gwendolyn dreamt of taking care of Brad Pitt.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: DGSquared on November 30, 2007, 04:06:19 PM
Brad Pitt was gorgeous as he lay there on his stomach, his muscular back exposed. She removed the warm stones and towel from his buttocks and poured the hot oil onto her soft, experienced hands. She began to effleurage his entire back and was looking forward to rest of the full body massage almost as much as he was. He was putty in her hands.






He was putty in her hands.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 30, 2007, 04:44:47 PM
No matter how long she kept at it, poor Brad just could not get wood.

Tell: Nursie Whatshername was disappointed.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on November 30, 2007, 05:22:31 PM
Gwendolyn was soaking wet with sweat. Hers alone, unfortunately. What was wrong with him? Was it her? Just because she wore a size 28 and had a few gray hairs - on her chin. It really was no reason. She was a woman. She could bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let him forget he's a man. There must be something wrong with Brad. Certainly there was nothing wrong with her? Was there? Her eyes filled with tears.

Tell: Rolf saved the day.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 30, 2007, 05:31:35 PM
"Oh Gwendy, there you are," said Rolf. "Let me introduce you to my ugly half witted step-brother Ruprecht. I think you two will get on just fine."

Tell: Ruprecht was a nice boy; but dim!
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 01, 2007, 02:32:15 AM
"Hello," said Ruprecht, "hello," he said again, "hello..."


Tell: It's time to dance.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 01, 2007, 05:32:18 AM
Rolfano 'three legs' MacMobster pointed his pistol at the feet of the sweating lord, Sir Nigel Flatulent. "Dance you puffin frotter," he said.

Tell: Sir Nigel had a morbid fear of sea birds.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on December 01, 2007, 06:18:57 AM
The birds were white and long necked. Egrets. And there were more white ones with short necks. Terns.

Sir Nigel egrets that he fears the soap "As the World Terns." Shares him to death.


Tell: Lord Roundbottom was an excellent chef
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 01, 2007, 12:18:46 PM
Lord Roundbottom was sleeping in his wingback chair. As he snored his life away he dreamt that he was the world's greatest chef. More flamboyant than Jamie Oliver, more forceful than Gordon Ramsay and more lascivious than Nigella Lawson. Of course in reality the fat idle git had never actually set foot in a kitchen. Being a lord he didn't need to go into the kitchen; he had servants to do that for him.

Tell: Sir Nigel wondered what it might be like to work.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mystery Writer on December 02, 2007, 08:00:34 AM
Sir Nigel like to come. He didn't care what he did, but he always enjoyed himself.

Tell: Alice smiled nerviously.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 03, 2007, 05:22:43 AM
Citabria offered his gnarled hand, I bet he masturbates, a lot. Alice smiled and moved on.

Tell: Tim knew that his actions would have grave consequences.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on December 03, 2007, 06:46:19 AM
Tim hated his new job. Still, a man had to feed his family. It was an awful job just the same. Thank the powers that be that there is equipment now that does most of the work. It was much easier with his steam shovel. He knew in times past that grave diggers actually had to use shovels. It made him shudder. But he still hated his new job.

Tell: Pat thought the name should be more gender specific.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 03, 2007, 06:48:34 AM
"I think I'll be known as Patti from now on," she said.

Tell: Silently, Ron consider the advantages of owning a dog.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Gyppo on December 03, 2007, 09:47:10 AM
Ron crouched in the darkness of the bushes as his dog ripped out the gamekeeper's throat.  Nemesis had his uses after all, even if he'd failed miserably as a pointer.

Tell:  Killing Gamekeepers is not a a good career move.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 03, 2007, 09:50:06 AM
Ron stood and walked away, nothing else happened.

Tell: Ron had made a string of bad career choices.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: DGSquared on December 04, 2007, 02:23:16 AM
After a brief stint at McDonald's, Ron went to work shoveling popcorn and filing cups with sodas at a movie theater. Once he realized that this was not the chick magnet job he thought it would be and that he was not getting as much movie memorabilia as he'd hoped to sell on e-bay, he quit.

He borrowed some money from his folks to go to Las Vegas with some of his loser buddies. After a drunken night of foolishness he decided to apply for a job at The Men Show but Ron was turned down due to lack of muscular definition and dancing ability. His friends applied for jobs as slot machine technicians but Ron stayed on at The Men Show sweeping and emptying out people's garbage.




Ron got in with the wrong crowd.


Santa got stuck in the chimney.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 04, 2007, 03:16:32 AM
There were crowds of people everywhere on Hollywood Boulevard and at the junction, Ron's crowd went left but Ron, who was scratching his scrotum at the time, missed the turning and trundled on in with a a crowd of Scottish tourists. Realising his mistake, he tapped one of the jocks on the shoulder and said, "Heh buddy what happened to Randy and Hank?"

"Youse wae?" said the Jock.

"Randy?" said Ron

"Youse n arse bandit son?"

Ron wandered off mumbling about Canadian immigrants.

Tell: Hank wondered if Scotlandshire was a town in London.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: pamela07 on December 04, 2007, 11:56:46 AM
Show: Sir Nigel ran up and down the runway of the fashion show ranting and raving about one of his models wearing a bright orange outfit that showed no skin.  The model turned red with embarrassment and ran off crying like a baby. 


Tell:  "I didn't want to wear this damn outfit either"
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Amie on December 04, 2007, 12:56:20 PM
Pamela ripped off her outfit, and flung it in Rolf's face.  "You think you're the only one with a pear shape?" she snarled.


He was one of the most feted bottom-inspectors in the North-West region.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 04, 2007, 02:15:16 PM
Spring dew hung on the village green, fizzing about the commons in the people's footsteps. The Lancaster Bottom inspector would be arriving soon. They hastily arranged the village fête.

Tell: The fête didn't go as planned.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Gyppo on December 04, 2007, 05:54:36 PM
All the cakes were flat, the livestock died, the flowers wilted and turned brown, the beer tent collapsed, and to cap it all a deluge of biblical proportions washed everyone away into the nearby flooded river clinging to scraps of wreckage to keep afloat.  It truly was the oft-quoted 'fête worse than death'.

Tell:  Gyppo is extremely tired.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on December 04, 2007, 08:05:19 PM
Gyppo yawned for the sixth time in two minutes. He rubbed his bleary eyes and pushed up on the arms of the chair. He looked around at the three empty coffee cups and puzzled. Another yawn was creeping up on him. He sat back into the chair as he sighed deeply and pictured toddling off to bed. Instead, he checked his email one more time.

Gyppo had mail.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Gyppo on December 04, 2007, 08:49:15 PM
Gyppo stood there resplendent in his mail shirt and trousers.  The black chain mail glistened in the sunlight as his squire strapped on the back and breastplate, also gleaming black.  The surcoat with the strange device followed. Then the sword and scabbard.  Finally the mail hood.  Better than bloody e-mail! he thought as he stepped forward into the arena.

Tell:  Gyppo deeply misses the clash of steel, the roar of the crowd, and the adoring maidens.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 05, 2007, 03:34:07 AM
Gyppo sat musing on the summer of 69. What a year! He took on 3 part-time jobs to try and supplement his writing income, and he loved every one of them. Knife sharpener for Fanny Craddock (what a hot babe she was); male stripper at Saucy Nigel's in Soho (the tips stuffed in his g-string, the adoring crowd of transvestites, rock starts and politicians snorting coke off his buttocks) and of course best of all gigolo (the spinster discount earned him both cash and adoration; and who cares about a few wrinkles anyway?). Oh happy happy days.

Tell: I fancy a quiet life.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Gyppo on December 05, 2007, 04:15:08 AM
Citabria heard the Judge sentence him to solitary imprisonment for life with no remission.  Gyppo jumped up from his seat in the public gallery.  "Is that quiet enough for you..." he called out before the bailiffs dragged him away for contempt of court.

Tell:  The sun scorched down from a cloudless sky.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Amie on December 05, 2007, 04:20:13 AM
Huh?  Huh??!!?? thought Sattie.  Gyppo is one of the best and most experienced writers on this site, and yet he provides a "show" and calls it a "tell".  What the hell is wrong with the world?  Maybe my brain is getting baked out of my head by that scorching sun.  It doesn't help that the sky is cloudless.


Tell:  She was confused.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 05, 2007, 05:48:00 AM
"Hmmmmm," she said.

Tell: People were confusing show with tell more and more often.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on December 05, 2007, 06:35:55 AM
There were humanoid beings scuttling about the Internet. They moved along the web with a clawing reach and devoured all that came within their path. They created pages and pages of text always interspersed with ADS ADS ADS to help alleviate the boredom of simple text. But the flashing ADS ADS ADS would oftentimes distract the poor humanoids and make them loose their fine silk strands of thought. As more strands were strained and broken, the Internet became more enmeshed in confusion and eventually was brought to ruin and shame. The show was over, folks.

"Tell me about it," said the Luddite.

tell: The web was unraveling

(I love watching people take a secondary meaning to specific words. It's highly entertaining is word association games and especially so here. I've loved seeing that play. I was, however, stunned with Gyppo's response to "mail" because I hadn't even thought of that. You guys are way cool, great writers, and astounding people.)
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 05, 2007, 06:53:56 AM
"I've gone an skagged me fishnet stockings on yur poaching knife Gyppo. That'll cost ye an extra five quid!" she said.

Tell: Rolf felt humble

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 05, 2007, 10:26:28 AM
Ron watched through the two way mirror as Citabria worked his magic, for some reason calling all his tricks Gyppo.

Tell: Snige joined Ron with popcorn.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: DGSquared on December 05, 2007, 12:28:47 PM
The projector hummed in the darkness.

Head down, shoulders hunched, Rolph reached for the doorknob unable to turn it and make the transition to the next room. "They hate me. I just don't get it. Show verses tell. Tell verses show. It all gets so confusing to me and begins to sound like words just for the sake of words. I thought I could write but alas, I was wrong."
 

"This is the worst movie I've ever seen!" Ron grumbled.
He looked at Snige with disdain and added, "I hope your taste in popcorn is better than your taste in movies. Gimme' some of that. Got any butter?"


She missed the point and the last post.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 05, 2007, 12:32:29 PM
Deb sat watch the thread develop, "what are these people doing?"

Tell: Terry's chocolate orange had melted.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Gyppo on December 05, 2007, 12:54:31 PM
Terry, gazing folornly at the melted remains of his unwanted Christamas gift as it squidged and oozed between his stained fingers, the drab brown alleviated only by occasional bright flickers of the torn foil wrapping, wept bitterly.  "Bloody well-meaning parents.  I specifically asked for a video of 'A Clockwork Orange'.

Tell:  The sky outside is black.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on December 05, 2007, 01:06:39 PM
Night fell.

Tell: A storm approached.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 05, 2007, 01:09:28 PM
Wind rustled through the trees.

Tell: Terry finally got what he wanted.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on December 05, 2007, 01:12:19 PM
Teresa always felt that she was trapped in the wrong body. After years of counseling and saving up all her pennies, she finally underwent sex reassignment surgery.

Terrance now felt good in his skin.

Tell: Computers are possessed by evil demons
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Gyppo on December 05, 2007, 01:23:07 PM
"My name is Job-Bill, evil computer-dwelling demon of deception and feeder on the thoughts of millions.  I will shortly slip through the web and destroy the entity formerly known as SpChick for daring to reveal my existence to the common herd.  All such unworthy acolytes will perish in a storm of exploding electrons, melting chips, and cryptic error messages.

"You will not be able to read any more of ..."

>C

Tell.  William shot an apple.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 05, 2007, 01:30:00 PM
"Tell me Mr... What's your name?"

He smiled, "Tell."

"Mr Tell, what do you do for a living?"

He smiled again, "I shoot apples."

The other person stood in astonishment, "that's the most pointless career I've ever heard of."


Tell: William wanted to be famous for his apple shooting.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: pamela07 on December 06, 2007, 01:09:46 PM
show:  Ol' Mr. Twiddypooper, was a mean old buzzard.  He lived in a raggedy wooden frame, dull yellowing house.  He wore a tattered old gray over coat all year long no matter what the temperature.  He would emerge from his home at 3:00 pm every single day like clock work for about two hours just in time to scare the children of the neighborhood, because they got out school at that time.  He never physically harmed anyone.  He just knew his presence scared them to death. He would walk around very slowly for one hour, then sit on his porch for one more hour.

tell:  Ol' Mr. Twiddypooper was rich.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: DGSquared on December 06, 2007, 02:46:43 PM
He marched into his lawyer's office and said, "I need to change my name. When I talked to the real estate agent about buying the mansion on Boardwalk, he looked at me like I was some crazed, old eccentric. Apparently the name Twiddypooper is frowned upon in these regions. No price is too much. Change my name to Trump or something like that."

The lawyer was beside himself with repulsion from the apparel and stench of the old codger in front of him. Finally he said, "As you wish Mr. Twiddypooper, you're right. It isn't an appealing name. May I also suggest a change of clothing? You know, people on the Boardwalk are very particular about keeping up appearances and those of their neighbors. Quite frankly Sir, you look a bit menacing - like something that lives under the bridge. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were an out and out street dweller. I know the threats on your life have been abundant but do you really feel that this is the best disguise for a successful oil company owner like yourself?"



Tell: She was late.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on December 06, 2007, 02:51:45 PM
Shameless begging and broadcasting for authors: see Contest 36 (http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=11512.0)  

The car was low on gas (petrol for ollie) so she had to stop for fuel. She had changed her clothes three times before leaving the house because first the baby threw cereal at her and then the cat threw up a hairball on her lap. There was a huge pile-up on the freeway and all the traffic had filtered off onto the secondary roads. This was her big chance to make an impression to the powers that be as she had a presentation about her plan to restructure her department. That meeting was to have started exactly 7 minutes ago.

Tell: She was pregnant
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 06, 2007, 02:59:35 PM
"How the bloody hell did that happen?" said Rolf. "You told me you were a transsexual! You surely don't have a womb."

"Well I did mislead you ever so slightly," said Doris. "I wonder if it will be a boy or a girl?"

Tell: Rolf thought Doris was a gold digger.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 07, 2007, 04:07:40 PM
Rolf watched Doris gardening, "I wonder if she's heard the town legend about Capitan Rolf the Bryce's buried treasure."

Tell: Doris hadn't heard the legend of Rolf the Bryce.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: pamela07 on December 08, 2007, 12:25:54 AM
show: The red fire truck sped to a big red warehouse engulfed in flames.  The flames reached 30ft in the sky with lots of thick black smoke.  All of the people from the town came in crowds to see the excitement.


tell:  It took the firefighters an hour to put out the fire. 
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 08, 2007, 07:00:52 AM
After and hour the fire was out. The chief officer, Norbert, was giving the house a final check when he found a woman (allegedly) digging in the back garden/yard. Her headscarf was slightly singed and she smelt of smoke; a bit like an old kipper.

"Excuse me Mam," said Norbert, "are you digging for gold?"

"No. I know nothing about any buried gold," said the woman. "That's a nice helmet! what are you doing later?"

Tell: Some people struggled with the rules.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on December 08, 2007, 07:29:26 AM
The rules were listed at the beginning as good rules should be. Some rules mentioned that when associating a word list, the second word would start with a letter appearing in the first word. This seemed like a fun twist. But there were players who flaunted the rules. There were players who never even read the rules. They just pretended there were no rules. They went out to the list of associated words and wrote something willy-nilly without caring anything about what letters they were to work with. It made those that followed the rules sad. It caused the world to grieve.

Sometimes there are no rules. And this is good. Sometimes there are some simple rules. For example, on this show and tell thing, a person writes something as a "tell" and the next submitter is supposed to "show" what the last persong "told." That seems easy. But sometimes there is no flow and the tells and shows don't quite match up. Sometimes the "tell" is more "show" than actaully being a "tell" and all the world shudders causing earthquakes and tsunamis. It is a dangerous world out there.

Put your helmet on and follow the rules. Remember to buckle your seatbelt at all times, even when sitting in front of the computer or on the toilet. You can never be too careful. And follow the rules.

Tell: Her keyboard was black, not ecru.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: pamela07 on December 08, 2007, 09:38:42 AM
show: Her black keyboard has a strange device hooked up that looks like a giant flashlight.  She can talk to and see aliens from outerspace only as long as they have long necks and three big eyeballs.  They only hear her through one ear thats located on their throat.

tell: The madman's potion didn't work.

I know those last two posts re:Rules are aimed at me.  And you are absolutely right.  I didn't read the rules carefully.  I thought we were just making up our own stories.  I just read it again and I get it now.
I was also messing up with the association at first, but  Big T got on me a couple of times about that one and I haven't messed up on that one since.  It's kind of embarrassing being called out like this for all to see.  It would have been nice to get a pm instead.  Thanks anyway for the much needed message and I apologize for messing up the flow. ;)

Pam
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 08, 2007, 10:02:37 AM
Heh Pam don't take it personally. I'm always getting pulled up on association plus, it's just a bit of fun.  :)

Be cool baby  :-*

Sir Nigel booted the little glass bottle across the laboratory. “What in the name of my crinkled arse is wrong with this sodding potion?” he ranted.

He walked across to the full-length mirror and looked himself up and down. “It’s getting worse not better,” he said to his reflection. “Look, look! Now my left nipple has turned silver!”

Tell: sometimes it felt like there were madmen everywhere.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on December 08, 2007, 10:09:04 AM
The insane Dr. Jeckell created a process by where he could become more of the man he always wanted to be. He experimented night and day to find just the right potion to make the world see that man could be better than he sometimes seemed. Instead, Mr Hyde went about the world creating total havoc.

Tell: Words hurt.

(Pam, I'm sorry if I offended you. I tried to make it as light as I could while still responding to the Tell in the previous post. I never noticed you at the Association Plus thread breaking the premise there. I looked consistently for another member who shall remain nameless who took repeated proddings to get the idea of the "plus" portion of the thread.

I assumed that the person who was not following the "rules" here was not doing it out of spite, but because the rules were unknown. I am sorry again if I in any way hurt you)
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 08, 2007, 10:17:41 AM
Rolf squirmed in his chair. His hands were tied behind his back and his trousers were stapled together at the cuffs. He was gagged, an unpleasant enough experience anyway, but his torturer had used Sir Nigel's sweaty riding thong as the gag and poor Rolf was ... well gagging.

The torturer, Mr Adolf Words, took a pair of pliers out of his trombone case and grinned.

Tell: Rolf thought riding thongs should be banned by the European Union.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: pamela07 on December 08, 2007, 10:19:52 AM
I'm cool 8) Citabria, thanks.  And thank you too Patti. I wasn't offended, just embarrassed. :-[   I hope I didn't offend you either.  I just hate when I mess up.  Everythings o.k.  No damage done. :)  I just left a post in challenge #36 thread.  I am going to try one more time to make some time to participate in your contest.  It's sounds so fun.  Thanks again for everything.

Pam
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 09, 2007, 10:12:03 PM
Mr Woods grasped the top of Rolf's riding thong and pulled.

Tell: Rolf was in an uncomfortable position.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: pamela07 on December 10, 2007, 12:58:36 AM
Show: Rolf turned very red with embarrassment that Mr. Woods would give him a painful wedgie like that.  Rolf walked away with his head down, and legs spread wide in pain.

Tell: Mr. Woods didn't apologize.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 10, 2007, 01:01:21 AM



Tell: Fjordy watched in amusement.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: pamela07 on December 10, 2007, 01:06:07 AM
Fjordy never saw anything like it.  He fell on the ground laughing so hard that he wet his pants.


Rolf moved out of town.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 10, 2007, 01:07:38 AM
Throwing the riding thong into a trashcan, Rolf hurled his suitcase into the taxi trunk.

Tell: The rain in Spain was Rolf's bane.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: pamela07 on December 10, 2007, 01:15:45 AM
Rolf was so hurt to find out that the rain had ruined his designer suitcase by fading the colorful western scene he had airbrushed on it.


Go and find another airline to use.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 10, 2007, 01:23:30 AM
Pam sat in the airline bar, "Hic, what time is it?"

"About," Ollie checked his watch, "4:30."

"I've missed my flight," she staggered off to a ticket office.


Tell: Fjordy's new job at an airline ticket office was interrupted by a drunken scribe.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: pamela07 on December 10, 2007, 01:30:36 AM
Fjordy waited six months to land his new airline job.  He grinned from ear to ear every time a customers turn came up to buy their tickets.  They all looked at him in amazement thinking to themselves that he must be drunk grinning from ear to ear like.

Fjordy was fired on his first day.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 10, 2007, 01:33:10 AM
"Fjordy, you're fired," said the airport manager.

Tell: Fjordy considered Self-employment.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: pamela07 on December 10, 2007, 01:43:11 AM
Fjordy went into business for himself.  He opened up a paper factory that made the tickets that airlines sell.  There were large presses and small presses. There is a multitude of tickets being sold to business all over the world. He grinned all the way to the bank every Friday to deposit his six figure earnings.

Fjordy found love and got married.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 10, 2007, 01:45:07 AM
"I don't care if she's not human, and I don't care that you think it's weird." Fjordy stormed from his parent's house and back to his apartment.


Tell: Fjordy will be mad when he reads that.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: pamela07 on December 10, 2007, 01:52:28 AM


Fjordy read the headlines in the morning paper and jumped up in such a rage that his business is plastered all over the front page.


Don't worry baby I'll get them for this.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 10, 2007, 01:54:38 AM
The child looked up at Pam, who's she? And who's she getting for what?

Tell: Pam knew exactly what she was doing.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: pamela07 on December 10, 2007, 11:24:08 PM
Pam waited in a long line for hours to get the latest edition of the evening news.  She wanted to be the first one to go back to the office with the juiciest gossip so that she could get in the Guiness book of world records.


Thatollie was proud of her. ;)
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: kalikan on December 11, 2007, 01:39:46 AM
Thatollie beamed at Jane as she finished first in the race, sealing the championship for his personal-harem swimteam.

Tracy got undressed.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 11, 2007, 04:11:11 AM
Rolf pressed his nose to the glass. No good; it was too steamy. He wiped the window with a tissue (coincidently he had a box handy). That was better. The house across the street was lit up like a Christmas tree and Rolf could see straight into Tracy's bedroom. She walked in, took off her sweater and threw it on the bed. Rolf pressed play on his 1980s style cassette recorder and continued to watch Tracy as the music of Engelbert Humperdinck filled the room.

Tell: Rolf wondered if he should get an iPod (or maybe some binoculars).
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on December 11, 2007, 06:48:54 AM
Rolf peered thru the fog-steamed window. Another tissue was needed. Thank heavens he bought the large box. He gazed and squinted. Was that lace? Sheer lace? Yes. It was Stevie Nicks singing Leather and Lace. He really needed to have clearer sound. Perhaps one of those new fangled MP3 players. He hated Apple, but maybe a Sony. Now, back to the view across the street.

Rolf pondered a trip to the ophthalmologist
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 11, 2007, 11:23:53 AM
"Maybe I'll get me eyes checked."


Tell: Snige returned from his holiday.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: DGSquared on December 11, 2007, 09:10:03 PM
Snidge groaned, "I'm gone for one week and the whole place falls apart!"

In the midst of his temper-tantrum, he dropped his suitcase. As he danced in a circle on one leg, holding his other foot in his hands, cursing, the group tried to suppress their mirth.




Snidge had some unpacking to do.





Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: kalikan on December 11, 2007, 09:40:07 PM
The boxes were piled high and piled everywhere, a labyrinth of cardboard and clothes. Snidge eyed the room warily, visualizing the impending hours and hours of wench-labor. With his parents coming in just a few days to check out his new apartment, Snidge sighed, pulled out the box-cutter and a glass of wine, and set to it like a bee harvesting honey... multicolored and fabriced honey.

The bees buzzed around the hive.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: pamela07 on December 12, 2007, 12:58:26 AM
show:  There were big bees, little bees, yellow bees, black bees, there were also yellow and black bees.  They were everywhere.  They lived in the largest beehive that was known to man.  It was so big that a whole person could fit in it.  The village beekeeper would dress up in his protective gear and gather honey weekly for the town folk.  Honey was a big part of their lives.

tell: The town folk gathered monthly for hoedowns.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 12, 2007, 03:43:37 AM
Pam: Sorry we don't have hoedowns so I went with something altogether more English but which I hope retained the essence of your "tell".

The excitement was almost palpable. The town's folk of Kidderminster stood naked outside the fire station waiting to be hosed down.

Tell: Rolf wondered how cold the water would be.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on December 12, 2007, 05:51:10 AM
Rolf approached the water. Shivering and shaking he sniffed at the ambient air. He delicately was dipping a toe into the edge when some teenager jumped into the pool with a cannonball dive and splashed the hapless Rolf. He looked to the chalkboard where the lifeguard had written
Today is December 12, 2007  
Pool Temp:  91 degrees


Tell: Rolf wondered how he got to America
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: pamela07 on December 12, 2007, 11:00:26 AM
"America?, am I in America?"  All Rolf remembers is that he went to a party on a huge blue yacht that had huge flashing christmas like lights all over.  He then awoke the next morning feeling very groggy and looking very confused with no memory of the last five hours.  "Where am I?", he said.  A maid had just entered the room of the hotel that he was dumped in and told him that he was in the Holiday Inn in New York City.


Rolf wants to go home.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 12, 2007, 11:22:17 AM
"Excuse me," Rolf said, "I'd like a ride to the airport."

Before he or the cabbie could say anything an over sized person shoved him out of the way and got in.

"I only wanted to go to the airport," he said to no one in particular.

Tell: Rolf's day was about to get worse.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: pamela07 on December 12, 2007, 11:28:39 AM
Just as Rolf was about to finally get in a cab, the local authorities swooped up on him and handcuffed him. A witness in the back seat of the police car identified him as the person that stole her diamond necklace and pushed her overboard at the party on the yacht.  Rolf said "Wait a bloody minute"  "What the hell is going on?".  He was shoved so hard into the police car that he bumped his head and passed out.


Rolf was found innocent after spending five days in jail.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 12, 2007, 11:36:02 AM
Rolf walked out of prison, "god damn it, my arse hurts."

Tell: Rolf was mugged straight after being released.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: pamela07 on December 12, 2007, 11:46:58 AM
"C'mon guys, I just got out prison.  I don't have a damn dime.  Why don't you give me some money so I can get the hell out of this country?".

Rolf made it home.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 12, 2007, 11:49:03 AM
The box was unloaded, "poor sod," said a cockney dock worker.

Tell: Rolf's funeral was the biggest event in world history.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 12, 2007, 12:35:35 PM
At Rolf's funeral George Bush became confused, mistook the Canadian Prime Minister for a squirrel and threw a pretzel at him. The Prime Minister's wife kicked Busy on the shin and then all hell broke loose. A Secret Service agent took a wild shot at a passing Arab, missed and hit Gordon Brown on his false eye. The bullet ricocheted off Brown's eye and struck the French president in the cobblers. M. Frog died from terminal brain smeg. The whole thing was televised by BBC3 and got almost 12 viewers. But then, pining for his lost lover, Snige took the story to the papers and Murdock, pissed that no Australians were at Rolf's funeral, put it on the front page of the Anthrax Times. What a day!

Tell: Rolf wondered what all the fuss was about.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 13, 2007, 09:19:09 AM
Leaning against a tree, Spirit Rolf watched, "What's all the fuss about? I wasn't that great, was I?"

Tell: Gyppo had been invited but didn't bother going.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on December 13, 2007, 09:26:09 AM
The invitation arrived encased in a gold embossed creme envelope. The paper was smooth, the writing was elegant. Gyppo was being offered the chance to attend the nuptials of Duchess Flatbottom's daughter to the Earl of Queensnot. He immediately chucked it into the circular file, giving it all the attention it deserved.

Weddings are expensive.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 13, 2007, 02:56:32 PM
Sir Nigel had a look of love in his eyes as he peered at his latest bank statement. As he studied the figures he started to sing quietly to himself, "Money makes the world go round, the world go round."

Finally he made a decision; there was no way he was going to pay for his daughters wedding, she would just have to be 'dealt with'. He picked up the phone and dialled the number of mad Pongo McStench.

Tell: Pongo took pride in his work.



Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 13, 2007, 05:01:39 PM
Ruffled fabric flew into the air, "damn it," said Pongo, "I can't make these Bride maids' dresses unappealing enough to make Sir Nigel's daughter appear attractive in comparison."


Tell: Sir Nigel was eavesdropping on Pongo's rant.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Frogg on December 13, 2007, 08:05:06 PM
Tell: I can't remember why I'm here

Show: Sir Nigel's rabbit had too much stolen coffee
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 13, 2007, 08:06:41 PM
Sir Nigel's Rabbit dropped the jar of coffee, "Why am doing this," it asked, "in fact, why am I here?" With that, it left.

Tell: Brokenwings watch the rabbit with interest.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Frogg on December 13, 2007, 08:08:06 PM
Tell: Sir Nigel was desperate.

Show: Sir Nigel crawled on his hands and knees and devoured the spilt coffee
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 13, 2007, 08:09:37 PM
Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, I needs my precious to survives, yes I does.

Tell: Brokenwings does everything backwards.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Frogg on December 13, 2007, 08:12:06 PM
Show: her hands trembled from lack of caffine as she watched she rabbit with interest.

Tell: Brokenwings is tearing her house apart because Sir Nigel has done away with all her precious coffee.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on December 13, 2007, 08:13:41 PM
Rules, rules, always rules. Why should someone have to bother with the previous person's tell when they can make up a perfectly good tell themselves? Just because the rules say to use the tell from the previous post and then leave a tell for the next unsuspecting typist - all that is no reason for someone with Broken in their name to not break them. Really, you are the wind beneath my wings, but they are broken and they don't work so why should I or anyone for that matter have to follow the rules?

As Brokenwings mused ...

Tell: Life is difficult for the rigid.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 13, 2007, 08:14:13 PM
Crash, the wall between her and the secret stash crumbled and became dust, "where is it?" She asked herself, jittering.

Tell: It wasn't there.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Frogg on December 13, 2007, 08:15:53 PM
Show: The magical castle shook with her sobs

Tell: Ummm, can't thing why..... can't have been a very sturdy castle...
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 13, 2007, 08:17:33 PM
A wall broken so easily, and shaken by sobbing. I need a new magic castle.

Tell: The rain in Spain is cheesy.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Frogg on December 13, 2007, 08:19:39 PM
Cheese is needed for the Christmas cake

Tell: Brokenwings is insane
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 13, 2007, 08:22:14 PM
Being wheeled in on a wheelie thing, they [whoever they are] plonked Brokenwings in ward B where she gibbered to thatollie until their preappointed switch, where he began to gibber at her.

Tell: this makes absolutely no pie.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Frogg on December 13, 2007, 08:24:02 PM
Brokenwings gibbered happily away until a disgruntled Peeves told her she did not exist.

Tell: I found coffee!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 13, 2007, 08:24:58 PM
"Me too," shaid thatolling.

Tell: the sanity bug is crying.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Frogg on December 13, 2007, 08:26:34 PM
because thatollie helped brokenwings get rid of it, it now feels rejected and unloved.

Tell: Brokenwings doesn't give a twit.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 13, 2007, 08:28:15 PM
Neither does thatollie.

Tell: sanity bug sings the blues.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Frogg on December 13, 2007, 08:29:39 PM
Which drives brokenwings up the wall as she much prefers Tori Amos.

Tell: Brokenwings is very short
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 13, 2007, 08:32:19 PM
Brokenwings strode up to the sanity bug, and gathered her 4 ft 6in frame to it's most imposing, "would you play something good?"

Tell: the bug became enraged.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Frogg on December 13, 2007, 08:34:59 PM
The bug stared down at the very almost accurate estimation of height (or lack of it) and told her to go away

Tell: brokenwings is wondering at thatollies psychiatric abilities....
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 13, 2007, 08:36:22 PM
I've managed top keep you talking this long haven't I?

Tell: thatollie is no longer in the running for greatest Marlon Brando impersonation ever.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Frogg on December 13, 2007, 08:39:13 PM
I am now wondering why I am still awake at 1:38 in the morning...

Tell: Brokenwings has no life
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 13, 2007, 08:39:58 PM
neither does thatollie.

Tell: both of these people have beds to go to.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Frogg on December 13, 2007, 08:41:53 PM
this is true... brokenwings approaches bed and realises electric blanket is off.

Tell: Brokenwings is now uttering vulgar profanities
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 13, 2007, 08:43:57 PM
"Vulgar Profanities, vulgar profanities," she repeated over and over until the day she stopped.

Tell: that's not an electric blanket, that's my lunch.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Frogg on December 13, 2007, 08:46:17 PM
brokenwings is now worried for thatollies mental health, not that her own is anything to go by...

Tell: Brokenwings is currently freezing to death...... fingers turning blue...... icicles hanging in hair.....
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 13, 2007, 08:46:59 PM
This seems normal.

Tell: thatollie resisted the urge to rant about mental health.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Frogg on December 13, 2007, 08:48:47 PM
brokenwings is currently out cold (hehehe) and I, computer have taken over.

Tell: Computers are smarter than humans
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 13, 2007, 08:49:39 PM
No we aren't.

Tell: Ollie's computer is writing this while he makes Super noodles.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Frogg on December 13, 2007, 08:51:23 PM
brokenwings is back in envy..... I ran out of them during my last hibernation.

Tell: computer tried to commit mutiny, brokenwings won.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 13, 2007, 08:59:25 PM
Ollie is also back, for the last time, sleep is waiting and I must reply.

Tell: Good night.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Frogg on December 13, 2007, 09:01:07 PM
I shall just shiver in my freezing ice box alone then....

Tell: Goodbye cruel world.... I may be some time... ;)
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 14, 2007, 06:29:41 AM
Brokenwings sat, "suicide by cold, great idea," she said sarcastically.

Tell: Ollie used a word ending in -ly, now the world will implode.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Frogg on December 14, 2007, 06:31:00 AM
world is now gone, we are all sitting in space...

Tell: It's much warmer here
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 14, 2007, 06:39:20 AM
The space writers were drawn into Mercury's orbit.

Tell: Mercury is a great holiday destination.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Frogg on December 14, 2007, 06:41:07 AM
the 5000 or so members of MWC are now all booking flight tickets to Mercury.

Tell: MWC is great.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 14, 2007, 06:45:44 AM
Bored with all this metaphysics and sci-fi cobblers, Rolf (Jnr) banned the two fluffy culprits and MWC went back to its former greatness.

Tell: Rolf missed his dad (Rolf Snr).
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Frogg on December 14, 2007, 06:55:48 AM
protesting against fluffiness, broken now goes off dejectedly to comfort Rolf.

Tell: I am now looking for a new mask
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 14, 2007, 07:47:17 AM
When it was returned, my gimp mask was looking very tatty, it smelt strongly of Chinese food and the zip was broken. In hindsight maybe I shouldn't have lent it to thatollie, but he seemed such a nice kid. I suppose it was time for new mask anyway; black is so out for gimps this year.

Tell: whatever!
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Frogg on December 14, 2007, 08:01:34 AM
Whatever is now the name of my new imaginary pet dragon....

Tell: Whatever just set fire to my house, :'( (That's the last time i look here for names!)
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: pamela07 on December 14, 2007, 11:13:09 AM
I won't be inviting Whatever to my house. My house is made of wood and will burn down very quickly.

Trade your dragon in for a puppy.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Frogg on December 14, 2007, 11:15:37 AM
Whatever is very hurt at trading suggestion...

Tell: Where do I trade for the puppy!?!
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: pamela07 on December 14, 2007, 11:25:06 AM
I'm sorry Whatever,  I take it back :).  Your owner will just have to find you a fire breathing device that will help you breath fire and not burn down the house.


Forget about the puppy :-X
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Frogg on December 14, 2007, 11:28:08 AM
Whatever is currently out stealing the yellow brick road to Oz, as he thinks it would make good building blocks. ;D

Tell: Whatever is deluded
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 14, 2007, 11:47:47 AM
Whatever believed he was a dragon but he was in fact a wombat with halitosis. His breath was so foul that people would burn down their own houses rather than stay in the same room with him.

Tell: Rolf had a delusion busting idea!
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: wannabewriter on December 15, 2007, 04:41:47 PM
I nodded my head anxiously and clapped my hands in total agreement.

Tell: Hank was very distraught with the F on his report card.

I like this. This can be a learning tool for those like me have a bad habit of telling and not showing.

Paula
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 15, 2007, 06:03:20 PM

Hank slipped the report card into his pocket, "what's that?" Asked his Mother.

"Nothing," they stood staring at each other.

Tell: Hank could win this.


That's why I started it, but some people, including me have subverted the only rule.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: wannabewriter on December 15, 2007, 09:21:18 PM
Hank stood studing his mom for a minute, "Just a note from my friend at school." Hoping she would believe him he gave her a big smile. She chuckled "oh so we are getting love notes now huh?. Feeling nervous Hank starting switching from one foot to the other. He felt he sweat start dripping down his brow as he said, "Yea nothing special mom. Please just leave it alone and let me go do my homework." She decided not to pry and make him anymore nervous "Okay go do your homework I won't pry anymore."

Tell: Mom is still suspicious.

Paula
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 16, 2007, 03:30:33 AM
Mom scratched her head. Something's not right here, she thought, I'm an 18 year old lesbian, yet I have a 14 year old son called Hank! How did that happen?

As if acknowledging the strangeness of the situation, her pet gecko, Martin, moved his head slowly from side to side then blinked in that preposterous way that lizards do.

"Can we watch the Godzilla DVD again please?" said Martin.

Tell: Martin wondered what percentage of TV audiences were actually lizards (or people masquerading as lizards).
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 16, 2007, 07:53:19 AM
"That's a difficult tell."

"No it isn't."

"I bet you couldn't do it."

"I could!"

"Go on then."

"OK then I will."


Martin relaxed on his Parker Knowle Norton Recliner watching Freeview on TV. He prodded the remote with the index claw on his left front foot and flicked through the channels. Who on earth watches all this bobbins? he thought. I bet people dump their lizards in front of the TV to keep them occupied then go and do something more interesting. I bet it is just me and millions of other lizards watching this shopping channel while our owners are upstairs having rampant sex.

Tell: Martin wished he was human.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 16, 2007, 04:14:40 PM
I wish I was human.

Yeah me too.

Tell: A magical bookcase granted Martin's wish.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 17, 2007, 09:57:30 AM
Fed up with TV, Martin the gecko was reading a book by Clive Hole-punch McLewis. The book was entitled the 'Iron the Bitch and the Bookcase' and was an allegorical story about two friends Rolf (a puffin frotter) and Ralf (a latent dominatrix and latter day bag lady). Rolf and Ralf met at the Liverpool metropolitan library near a magical bookcase ...

Martin was so moved by the story that he fell asleep and for 2 short hours dreamt of being human.  He danced the light fantastic, experienced the excitement of free-fall parachuting and best of all, went shopping at Waitrose.

Tell: Martin considered joining the labour party.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on December 17, 2007, 07:31:02 PM
Martin, company salesperson of the year for Geiko Insurance, was a very hard worker. He considered the need for having his own values represented by governmental bodies. But then he noticed that the party couldn't even spell LABOR correctly and opted instead to become a Republican.

Tell: politics is confusing the world over.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 18, 2007, 02:00:44 PM
Republican, sounds like someone who'd quit rehab. Martin shrugged and decided not to vote.

Tell: Gecko Insurance were a competitive company.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 20, 2007, 01:07:37 PM
Martin had just purchased a new Smart and now he needed insurance. He contacted Saga but they said although many of their members had lizard skin, they weren't actually lizards and anyway Martin was not over 50. Eventually he spoke to Gecko and they offered him a fabulous deal. For just $500 he got insurance for his Smart plus a free George Bush mask and bag of pretzels

Tell: Gordon hated marbles (especially glass ones).

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on December 20, 2007, 02:04:20 PM
Gordon was so angry. He was always dropping things. Everything that was handed to him slipped through his fingers and crashed onto the floors. It was the sole reason that his entire house was carpeted. And now, his grandson's Christmas present was all over the floor, under the sofa, behind the cabinet. All the g*dd*m &^&*^ marbles every-freakin-where. What on earth had possessed him to purchase such a stupid, horrid, nasty gift?

Tell: Gordon lost his marbles
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: pamela07 on December 20, 2007, 11:36:46 PM
Gordon what in the hell is wrong with you? Have you lost your marbles?  I don't care if you don't like Billy's gift.  You better get this mess up off of my floor.  We are having company in about an hour and I want this mess out of here.


Their family and friends are coming over.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 21, 2007, 05:00:42 AM
"I'm going to the pub," said Rolf, "send me a text when your tribe of dimwits have gone and I'll come home."

Tell: Rolf really fancied a glass of stout.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 23, 2007, 01:07:28 AM
Rolf groped the pump, Guinness swishing smoothly about the bottom of the glass. He closed his eyes and inhale longingly, "perfect."

Tell: Rolf enjoyed stout as much as sex.

Incidentally, while researching [yes, I researched this 2 sentence entry into a game, that's just how dedicated I am.] this piece, I came across an article about pulling the perfect pint, it included this.

Quote
stupot adds that if the nozzle is still in the pint when you stop pouring then the liquid level will drop as you remove it, creating a short pint

Ironic, aye.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 23, 2007, 02:49:59 AM
Having had three minutes of rampant sex with Bethany his next door neighbour's wife, Rolf came home for a rest. Before having a nap he got out his ESC (enjoyment score card) and wrote a six next to Bethany's name. Looking back through the day's entries he noted that he had also awarded a six to that refreshing pint of 'West Wessex Retched Wazzock' stout that he had enjoyed in the pub at lunch time.

Tell: Rolf eagerly awaited delivery of his favourite magazine.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 23, 2007, 03:20:18 AM
Rolf stood in the elevator, dancing from one foot to the other.  Leaving as soon as a gap appeared, he made his way to the concierge's desk, "Is the mail here yet?"

Tell: the newest issue of "Stout sluts" hadn't arrived yet.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on December 23, 2007, 07:38:19 AM
The slight shake of the concierge's head gave Rolf his answer. He stopped, dropped his head, examined his shoes, turned away and slowly walked toward the door. Another day of abject misery begun on cue.

Tell: Rolf preferred heavy women to skinny women.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 23, 2007, 02:19:51 PM
It all changed after Felicity.

She was one of Sir Nigel's hand-me-downs; a size zero super model that believed all food was poison. One night when they were having sex, one of Felicity's ribs snapped, ripped through her skin and stabbed Rolf in the thigh. He wasn't really hurt, but he had to put up with all the hassle of taking her to casualty. Since that experience Rolf has preferred women with a bit more substance.

Tell: Sometimes Rolf felt like crying.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 28, 2007, 04:13:22 AM
Olga's deep snoring fired around the room, "I'm hungry," said Rolf, "I hope she hasn't eaten all the leftovers."

Before he could get up, she rolled over. He struggled for breath, tears brimming in his eyes.


Tell: Bruce the Merryfoot was in town.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on December 28, 2007, 07:07:11 AM
The filming for Dancing with the Stars began and who should show up, but the editor in chief from Really Good Quotes. Red_Barren, Gyppo, and SpChick didn't even know he could dance, but there Bruce was doing the Tango, the Limbo, and the dance he really excelled at - the Hokey-Pokey. He was so Happy and his feet were so Lively that he was crowned Merryfoot of the Contest.

Filming ended and the crew left. Bruce, now without an audience, went back to his scientific pursuits and publishing the thrice-weekly sheet. Dejected and subdued. His feet were always tapping under the desk, once again seeking the merriment of his contest days.


Tell: She was named Stormy for a reason.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: DwWin on December 28, 2007, 07:17:10 AM
The very air around her was charged and seemed to have a life of its own, lifting her hair and playing with it like lovers fingers running through it.

Tell: She could feel the anger building up inside her.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 28, 2007, 07:47:35 AM
Her brow furrowed, her face flushed.

Tell: the last entry was soooo clichéd.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: DGSquared on December 28, 2007, 07:15:43 PM
We waited at the edge our seats for the next big comeback. When all was said and done, we walked away, heads down, shaking side to side and asking ourselves, "Why?"





Tell: Her kids were driving her nuts.




Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on December 28, 2007, 07:58:11 PM
There was peanut butter smeared on the table top. There was milk spilled on the floor. There was a dirty diaper tucked into the wastebasket. There were three preschoolers clambering for attention. It wasn't even 7 AM yet and she could stand a nice hot bath, candlelight, and a glass of champagne.

Crash, right in the middle of her reverie - pre-sweetened cereal, milk, and bowl hit the floor. Another day in Paradise.

Tell: Teenagers are fun people.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on December 29, 2007, 03:18:04 AM
Nick groaned aloud as the neon figures on the clock radio glowed an eerie 3:30 a.m. and another sharp pounding on the door echoed through the house.  He stumbled out on to the landing in time to hear a window being smashed in the vicinity of the back kitchen.  This was immediately followed by drunken laughter as his two teenage daughters seemed to find their way into the house.  Switching on the light at his end of the room, he was assailed by a loud screech.

"Leave the light off you f'in idiot!" shrieked Beril as she used the opposite switch to douse it again.

"Yeah," joined in Pauline, "You want someone to hear us?"  There was a sudden silence as both girls came to the realization that their night of levity was over.

"Oopps." Both girls whispered in unison as the light came on again.

(From a true story.)


Tell: The rain continued for days.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 29, 2007, 04:46:35 AM
There are winners and losers

It rained cats and dogs.
The dogs parachuted down
growling and snapping at the cats as they descended.
The cat's didn't bother with parachutes
they had faith in the nine lives myth.

By the third day
we were wading through splattered pussy
up to our thighs.

Tell: Show don't tell also applies to poetry.



Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on December 29, 2007, 07:47:25 AM
Word Styles

Some people write in a prosaic manner
While others write in a flowery manner

Some people write in long sentences that seem to run on forever
While others write with a concise imagery.

Some people need the maximum width on their margins
While others can control the space.

Some people show us their hearts in paragraphs
While others use verse.


Tell: Baseball is exciting.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 29, 2007, 09:00:14 AM
Pass on that one. A challenge to far  ;D Or maybe ...

By the twenty-third century, baseball had evolved into a game barley recognisable to the dolts of the information age. By 2208 uniforms had been dropped in favour of nudity, the bat gave way to a large ostrich feather and the ball was replaced with a bat (a trained pipistrelle). No points were awarded, but whenever a featherman had a home run, the supporters of the opposing team were showered with phosphorescent bat guano. An interesting side note: the 2210 World series was won by Bognor-Regis ladies.

Tell: As time goes by things either get worse or they get better.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on January 01, 2008, 03:56:26 AM
Jane lay upon the bed, Mark standing lustily by the side, "come on, let's do things my wife doesn't let me do."

Her eyes welled with tears.

I have to be really carefully or I'll get my balls chopped off. Then again she might hate my wife and they could be tears of anger.



Tell: Mark had his balls chopped in half.
There's a bonus for them not being his private parts.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 01, 2008, 08:03:52 AM
Nigela chasse'd into the kitchen, glided across the tiled floor and put her arms around Mark as he stood at the marble worktop. She hugged him, tenderly kissed the back of his neck and whispered, "What are you making?"

Mark wore a 'South Park' apron but nothing else. Nigela's was naked and her breasts, aromatic and cloying with slowly drying Amaretto, stuck to his back. "Mozzarella and tomato salad garnished with kalamata olives and pesto dressing," he said.

Nigela watched as Mark took 2 balls of buffalo mozzarella and carefully sliced each one in half. "Shall I pour the Moet?" she asked.

Tell: Mark was good with his hands.





Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on January 01, 2008, 08:05:29 AM
Mark was always just a little rebelious. He strode out onto the first tee of the still closed golf course. It was not really light yet, but he had played the course often and knew the way the holes were set out. He drove the first ball into the rough and so teed up again. He hit into the fairway - he thought, but had lost the trajectory of the ball. He teed up a third time and drove the ball straight, high, and far. He knew where that one landed. And then he heard the noise. They were mowing the course. Time to get a fresh sleeve of balls. These were gone.

Ollie is an old man.
[someone answered this while i was writing, but i'm posting anyway - so there]
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 01, 2008, 08:20:07 AM
"Date of birth?"

"First of April nineteen twenty-six," said Ollie.

Tell: Horny food is better than golf.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on January 01, 2008, 08:23:33 AM
"Men are simply pigs," she thought, "Nothing but sex, sex, sex."

He bought chocolate.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 01, 2008, 08:39:51 AM
Mavis was coming round later so Rolf nipped out to the chemist.

"Do you sell flavoured condoms?" he asked the clerk.

"Indeed we do sir. Chocolate, curry and pomegranate."

"I'll have a dozen chocolate ones," said Rolf.

Tell: Howard explained existentialism to Susan.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on January 01, 2008, 08:52:19 AM
"You see my dear, it's all a load of bollocks."

Tell: Howard was about to be proved wrong.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 01, 2008, 03:37:34 PM
"Actually I am the great granddaughter of Søren Kierkegaard," said Susan, "and I can tell you that although existentialism is mainly bollocks, there is one fundamental aspect that disproves your assertion that it is all bollocks. Now pull up a pillow and I will explain."

Tell: Howard felt that things were going downhill.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on January 01, 2008, 06:27:04 PM
Talk, talk, talk. Howard, like all men, was only listening to Susan because it was the only way to get laid. But with all this philosophizing, it didn't look like it was going to be happening any time soon. He must pretend to listen if he EVER hoped to see naked flesh in his bed.

Tell: Howard was doomed.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: CaddyJ on January 01, 2008, 11:05:41 PM
Susan's rambling was almost unbearable. Howard tried to concentrate on the words she was saying so he could counter with sensable replies. It became clear the only way to silence this din was to cram his trobbing member in her face.


Tell: Susan's face was turning blue.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on January 02, 2008, 03:16:27 AM
If I don't do something I'll die, so she bit down on the throbbing member.

Tell: Time for a trip to the emergency room.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: CaddyJ on January 02, 2008, 12:12:43 PM
Harold's doom would be to carry the nickname of "Shorty" unless the reattchment was successful. Even this dim hope still relied upon Susan coughing up the "evidence".


Tell: The vendor shouted, "Hot dogs, get your hot dogs here!"
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 02, 2008, 01:13:29 PM
The stainless steel food cart shone brightly in the blazing Wolverhampton sunlight. The air around the cart was alive with the pungent stench of boiled onions. Rows of turd brown sausages made from the finest minced horse anus literally called out to the passing shoppers, eat me, eat me. The bum behind the cart was an ex estate agent down on his luck. He cried his cry, touted his wears but was ignored by all until a few spotty yoofs in hoodies, grabbed him and gave him the kicking he deserved.

Note for Patti: An Estate Agent is a Realator.

Tell: He had hoped for a Michelin Star (or two).



Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: CaddyJ on January 02, 2008, 01:53:58 PM
Nigel had just finished cleaning and re-oiling the dashpots on the troublesome side draft carburetors. He began a once around on his hunter green MGB. “Bloody hell”, he exclaimed! The left rear tire had a band of cord showing and the right one didn’t fare much better. The shed in back contained some spares Nigel had salvaged from a Sprite he scrapped some months back. Hoping to match his Michelin Stars, all he could find were Coopers. “ These will have to do”, he grumbled.

Tell: The cockpit lit up like a chritmas tree!
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on January 02, 2008, 02:13:10 PM
Quote
Note for Patti: An Estate Agent is a Realator.

Tell: He had hoped for a Michelin Star (or two).

I knew what an Estate Agent was, I had no idea what a Michelin Star was. sigh.   Continue on with this:

Rolf was taking his first flight lesson when he suddenly dropped his lit ciggie into his lap. He was so nervous that he farted at the same time. The flame filled the cabin and all of a sudden there were sparks flying across the instrument panel. The instructor sat gaping in shocked amazement. After fourteen years of flying, he was going to die in this ignominious fashion.

tell: the fire extinguisher was on board.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 02, 2008, 02:32:19 PM
A wombat dressed as a fireman leapt out of the rear luggage space and onto the back seat. "Howdie doodlie do!" it screeched.

"What the hell is that?" asked Rolf.

The instructor said nothing. He was ablaze.

"Standby," said the wombat and then dowsed the flames with a halon fire extinguisher.

Of course halon gas is deadly and so Rolf died and the plane went into a spin, tumbling down towards the ground like a one winged puffin. Thankfully the wombat parachuted to safety.

Tell: All true Englishmen yearn for a larger shed.

Patti, Hopefully you have not relied on CaddyJ's description of a Michelin Star.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: CaddyJ on January 02, 2008, 07:21:37 PM
Edward's herb garden was particularly prolific, this year he expanded the coverage and variety of plants. The extra work involved with his now larger garden prompted the purchase of a motorized tiller. Edward’s meticulous ways not only applied to his gardening skills, but also to the storage of his garden tools. He had a place for everything and everything in its place; until he purchased the tiller that is. Edward took pride in helping his friend's bistro acquire an additional Michelin Star due to the fine quality herbs he provided. However that pride would be diminished if he could not maintain his level of tidiness in the garden shed. Edward now understood why all true Englishmen yearn for a larger shed.  ;)

Tell: The glow on the horizon struck fear in Dan's heart.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: DGSquared on January 02, 2008, 07:47:43 PM
Dan's pacing seemed erratic now. "Did I get all of the paperwork out of the house during the evacuation? Damn! I forgot our pictures! My wife is going to kill me. How could I have forgotten the pictures?" The last thing she said to me was, "Whatever you do, Dan, don't leave our pictures behind in case the fire engulfs our home."





Tell: Dan's wife committed murder.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 03, 2008, 04:57:20 AM
Mrs Dan was fuming. Not only had that nitwit of a husband lost all her photos but he had also left the toilet seat up. Unforgivable! She tracked him down and shot him in the head. He deserved no less.

Tell: Mrs Dan soon started to miss Mr Dan.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on January 03, 2008, 07:24:15 AM
Mr. Dan, being a total nitwit, didn't even have decent life insurance. Several days after the funeral, a last partial paycheck arrived at the house. Two weeks later, no paycheck at all. He did have one redeeming quality.

Tell: Plato's philosophy is difficult to understand
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 03, 2008, 07:52:48 AM
"Try not to think of your cat as a material creature but rather an abstract representation of the form cat," said Rolf.

"OK, that sounds nice," said Mitzy. "Can we go for a burger now?"

Tell: Mitzy liked it when Rolf talked dirty to her.



Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: ma100 on January 03, 2008, 08:22:32 PM
"Oow.. Rolf you naughty boy, tell me more, please!" Mitzy whispered.
"Time for telling is over honey, I'm showing now." said Rolf.

Tell: Mitzy is let down.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on January 03, 2008, 08:25:02 PM
Mitzy looked on in horror. She had never seen anything so small. "Who do you think you are going to make happy with that?" she sneered.

"Me," whimpered Rolf.

Tell: Rolf was sad.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 04, 2008, 04:07:48 AM
Rolf trudged across the bedroom floor, shoulders slumped, arms hanging limply by his sides. "No one -- not a single person in the world -- loves me," he said as tears started to trickle down his cheeks.

He threw himself onto the bed, buried his face in the pillows and sobbed.

Tell: Mitzy fell for it
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on January 04, 2008, 04:12:10 AM
It, a creature that could morph into any shape, turned into a pothole just as Mitzy was crossing the street.

Tell: it was love at first trip.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: DGSquared on January 04, 2008, 04:30:53 AM
"Dammit!" Mitzy was more than a little annoyed with Rolf at this point.

"My aching toe! Why don't you find somewhere else to put your bowling ball?"

Rolf thought he saw the beaconing SUCKER sign flashing across Mitzy's forehead and knew he was a shoe-in with his, "WAA, WAA poor me" stunt.

"I've got her where I want her now," he smirked.

Trying desperately to seem overwrought with sympathy and compassion, Mitzy forced back the giggles. She saw the intentions in his eyes and wanted no part of his scheme. Her shoulders started to jerk uncontrollably as she let out the loudest, "Muwahahaha!" anyone had heard in recent history in their thin walled apartment complex.

A neighbor yelled out of his window, "What is all that racket down there?"


Mitzy, still convulsing, tears rolling down her face hollered back, "Oh, it's no biggie!" This clever double entente further doubled her over in laughter.



Tell: Rolf pushed Mitzy out the window.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on January 04, 2008, 04:34:30 AM
Supernova, erectile dysfunction.
Rolf's boys have no spunk,
a girl laughs all the way,
to neverland.

Tello: The police arrived suspiciously quickly.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: DGSquared on January 04, 2008, 04:42:31 AM
Looking around the Inspector said, "Obviously we've a murder here. I'll talk to the boyfriend."

Rolf knew he was done for. "Honestly Officer, I don't know how it happened. We were skinny dipping in the hot tub but only had freezing cold water. She got up to let some air in and..."

The Chief patted Rolf on the shoulder and said, "It's alright boy, no need to worry. Uncle Charlie has you covered.

Inspector Charlie went back downstairs and said, "Scoop her up boys. She jumped. The girl was in a sex crazed frenzy."


Tell: The Inspector had secrets of his own.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 04, 2008, 05:01:10 AM
The middle aged inspector was keen to get the job done so that he could meet up with his lover. He was due to pick her up from high school in 10 minutes! Oh dangerous!

Tell: Humbert was dancing on thin ice.


Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on January 04, 2008, 09:41:41 AM
Humbert the Russian ice-dancing bear skidded across the Frozen lake. A crack appeared and his owners became nervous.

Tell: Humbert bought lottery tickets.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 04, 2008, 10:39:54 AM
Humbert felt obliged to pay the idiot tax. He bought 2 tickets and a scratch card.

Tell: Humbert was a spendthrift.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: ma100 on January 04, 2008, 01:09:02 PM
Humbert entered the figures in the calculator again.
" You can add it up as much as you like Humbert. But you won't change the outcome," said Hilda."You've cleaned us out."

Tell: Hilda looks for work
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 04, 2008, 02:19:12 PM
Having spent most of the day at the job centre scouring the ads, Hilda eventually got home just as Z-cars was starting. "If I don't find work soon we will have to sell the goat," she said.

"No way, not Howard," said her Humbert.

Hilda flopped down into the armchair. "Pass me the paper will you Humbert; I need to check the jobs pages."

Humbert glared at her. "Shush! I'm watching Z-cars."

Tell: Humbert was sick of her moaning.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: ma100 on January 04, 2008, 02:33:07 PM
"Why can't you shut up?" Humbert yelled . "You never stop. When God made woman he should have installed an on/off button."

Tell:Hilda seeks revenge
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 04, 2008, 02:44:43 PM
Hilda popped her head round the living room door. "Do you want some mango chutney with your goat curry dear?" she asked.

"NOOOOOOO! Not Howard," Humbert shrieked.

Tell: The goat curry was fab.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Omni on January 06, 2008, 06:22:07 AM
Humbert offered Hilda the empty plate. "Mmmm-hmmm." He licked his lips. "Any more of that goat curry going spare?"

Tell: Don didn't like Canadians.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on January 06, 2008, 06:55:35 AM
"I hate NarnianPrince," exclaimed Don. No one knew who Don was, so it didn't matter.

Tell: She spelled everything wrong.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Gyppo on January 06, 2008, 06:59:35 AM
Can I please sneak this one in?

Don pushed his plate to one side and summoned the waiter.

"Tell the manager I appreciate the ethical and logistical problems involved in supplying fresh goods for a Cannibal Cafe, but serving up this bland Canadian is no way to get repeat business.  I could accept an Inuit in fish sauce, with appropriate herbs, or perhaps even a nice gamey Quebecois cooked French Style.  But this is just utterly tasteless.  I want a refund."


And now return to 'normal service' with Patti's 'tell'

Tell: She spelled everything wrong.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 06, 2008, 12:47:25 PM
"You gormless bint," Rolf said, "you have spelt everything with a kay on the end instead of a gee. Everythink! Everythink! You sound like one of those irritating cockney gits off the television."

"Soz I wasn't finking," said Pearl. "By the way, I is a cockney. Dew wanna jellied eel?"

"I most certainly do not. You're sacked," said Rolf, "Now get out."

"You can't sack me Rolf luv, I'm yur mum."

Tell: Normal service was restored.



Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: DGSquared on January 06, 2008, 06:13:53 PM
Ring! Ring!

"What the?"

Heidi sat up with a start. Realization crept into her conscious. "Oh! the phone must be working again. Great! Just in time for New Year's Eve. That means my Mom will be calling in a drunken stupor tonight."





Tell. Mom called in a drunken stupor.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Maxine on January 08, 2008, 11:46:53 AM
'Who was on the phone'?
'It was mum'.
'It's two a.m. What on earth did she want'?
'The usual, you know, happy new year, lots of love and hugs.  I miss you so much.  Nothing new, just the drink talking'.
'Stupid woman.  She drives me mad'.
'How do you think I feel?  She's my mum'.
Louise flicked off the light, with tears in her eyes she whispered.  'She's my mum'.


Tell:  The contents of the display cabinet lay smashed on the carpet.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on January 11, 2008, 06:57:06 AM
"OW," screamed Rolf as he stood barefoot on the shards of China Dolls.

Tell: Rolf was going to get her for that.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on January 11, 2008, 07:04:44 AM
Tears freely flowed down Rolf's cheeks as he surveyed the damaged dolls. This was his prize collection and now all destroyed because Mavis was in a snit. Sure, most men don't fall asleep until after the act is completed. But that was no reason to destroy his stuff. Rolf's black soul prepared for revenge.

Tell: Blueberries are now a health food.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on January 11, 2008, 07:12:46 AM
The muffin's dough tinged purple with juice, Rolf leaned over hungrily. Mmm, Healthy.

Tell: Rolf consumed Blueberry muffins until he was ill.
Purple vomit, hooray.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Amaryllis on January 12, 2008, 04:02:15 AM

Show: Through glazed eyes Rolf contemplated the last blueberry crumbs on his fingers while his stomach lurched and protested.

Tell:  There was an outbreak of food poisoning at school
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Gyppo on January 12, 2008, 04:47:34 AM
With trembling fingers and a muted cackle Mrs Crabb-Sticke-Fingah - the School Dinner Lady - applied a small drop of cyanide to every tenth pudding.  She'd show the authorities what 'reduce your hours by ten percent' really meant.

Tell:  Mrs Crabb-Sticke-Fingah wasn't entirely rational.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 12, 2008, 05:11:33 AM
Mrs Crabb-Sticke-Fingah was not a man in drag, she was a real honest-to-god woman (proper breasts and everything).

Tell: Mrs Crabb-Sticke-Fingah wondered if her name was holding back her career.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on January 14, 2008, 06:41:30 AM
"I've always wanted to be a writer but everyone says Crabb-Sticke-Fingah would look awful on a book cover."

Tell: Ollie changed the subject.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on January 14, 2008, 07:34:53 AM
Ollie, in typical fashion, went off on a tangent.

Tell: Ollie was petrified by whalephant droppings.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on January 14, 2008, 07:47:38 AM
Ollie ran down to the shore, "I must get there in time to save Moby Dick."

The mean government man stood in his way, "not so fast kid. That Whalephant is going to be used for super evil government research."

Ollie ducked between a gap in the fence, leaving the government man leaping with anger, "come back here you brat."

The boat's rotor whirred, the hulking ship chugging along. Ollie pushed his little muscles to the limit, "come on," he got close, the ship started to pull away.

He jumped, his hands skimmed off the rail and clung to the side, "get up." He forced himself aboard.

"Now, how do I get him out of here?"

He saw that the bottom of the holding tank could be released, "where's that damn button? There!"

He pushed it, the bottom slid out and Moby Dick swam free. Ollie danced about the deck.

In a show of celebration, Moby Dick jumped over the ship and took a dump on Ollie's head.


Tell: Ollie was later arrested.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: CaddyJ on January 14, 2008, 03:34:31 PM
Wrestled from a steaming and glowing pile of whalephant dung, Ollie was cuffed by men in yellow haz-mat suits.

"What's the reading now?" shouted one yellow suit to another.

"Just a few rads shy of lethal" the other belted.

"What on earth are you babbling about?" asked Ollie.

 "Well you see son, the experament had partially begun prior to the whalephant's capture", said yellow suit number one.


Tell: Ollie felt ill in quarantine
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 14, 2008, 03:43:45 PM
There were no human quarantine facilities so they threw Ollie in with the wombats. He couched, huddled in one corner of the cage, shivering with cold and breathing through his mouth to avoid the stink of the shite on his clothes. The wombats gave him a wide berth. Unsure if it was radiation poisoning or just the side effects of dung ingestion, he started to feel queasy. He scratched his head and a gangly mat of turd encrusted hair came away in his hand. He began to retch.

Tell: Ollie wondered if a nice cup of tea would cheer him up.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Gyppo on January 14, 2008, 07:32:01 PM
The guard brought Ollie a cup of tea, which he promptly drank.  It did nothing to make him feel any better.  In fact the only effect was to make him shiver and shake uncrontrollably.  As he lay on the floor, twitching like someone with the DTs, the wombats ran across and used him as a vibrating massage mat.

Reaching into his pocket for a crumpled book of mathematical tables  Ollie tried to work out a suitable tangent to escape from this dreafull mess, little realising things were about to become even more intolerable.

A bell rang somewhere inside the cell, and, as a result of previous pavlovian conditioning the Wombats all turned their backs on Ollie and carried out a superbly synchronised mass bowel evacuation.

Tell:  Ollie found himself in deep sh*t!
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 15, 2008, 05:03:41 AM
Five feet off the ground, one hundred wombats clung to the quarantine cage wall singing "Land of Hope and Glory" and squitting tons of wombat excrement down onto the concrete floor. The cage soon started to fill with effluent and within minutes Ollie was up to his neck in it.

As it reached his chin he tipped his head back to keep his mouth and nose clear. At that point the rest of his hair fell out. He tried to take a tentative step forward, slipped, sank to the floor where he started thrashing wildly about like a middle aged mum at a disco. Eventually he managed to regain his feet, get his little baldy head above the surface crust and take a deep breath.

He shook his head from side to side clearing the foul smelling gloop from his eyes and ears. The wombats had stopped squitting (and singing) and were watching him intently. He spat something dreadful out of his mouth. Can things get any worse he thought?

Tell: The arresting officer was ambivalent about Ollie's future.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on January 29, 2008, 08:52:33 AM
"You're totally screwed kid,?" said the arresting officer.

The scientist stepped in, "no he isn't, being bathed in wombat guano is the cure for a radioactive whalephant dropping infection. He'll live."


Tell: Ollie returned better than ever.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 29, 2008, 06:20:12 PM
The cage door opened and Ollie was born again, birthed, dragged into this brave new world by Professor Plum and set free to wander the land of the scribes. "I Christen you Oliver Keyboard-hands," said Plum as he hosed down the young mutant. "Go forth and write."

Head held high, Ollie strode out of the compound to the clickety clack of his keyboard-hands autonomously composing a sonnet based on his wombat guano experiences.

Tell: The keyboard-hands were a gift from God, yet he fretted about the little things in life.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on February 06, 2008, 02:19:03 AM
He sat typing on his keyboard-hands, "there's a crack in the floorboard," he said and stood to inspect.

"Damn these hands, I can't do anything other than type."


Rolf made his triumphant return to this game at the international Cheese-in-your-pants festival.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on February 07, 2008, 07:05:10 AM
Rolf jauntily strolled from the gents and entered the ballroom. He was thrilled with his new standing in the game of Cheese-in-your-pants. He had just taken third place! As he walked past the lovely Priscilla, she couldn't help but catch the scent from the small wheels of Edam that Rolf was jiggling in his pockets.

"What's that stink?" asked the demure Priscilla.

"You got some crackers to go with that whine? I've got the cheese," leered Rolf.


Tell: The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on February 07, 2008, 08:05:50 AM
Splicky Splock, Suh, suh, suhhhhhhhhrp. Juan's boots stuck in the mud.

Tell: Ollie stood by the roadside laughing.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on February 28, 2008, 05:50:04 AM
A bus pulled up and the door opened with a flatulent grunt. "You getting on buddy?" the drive shouted down to Ollie.

"Where ... ho ho ho ... sorry ... he he he ... I mean ... ha ha ha ..." Ollie tried his best to be coherent but he just could not get that limerick by Sir Nigel out of his head. Tears started to stream down his face and he began a wild coughing-gulping-guffawing fit.

From nowhere Cathy C appeared and threw a bucket of ice cold green tea over him. It made not a jot of difference.

"You ain't getting on my veh-hickle in that state," the driver shouted. He closed the door (with a second flatulent grunt) and sped off.

The bus driver liked his job.



Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on February 28, 2008, 07:19:16 AM
Clive the Bus Driver, cousin to Larry the Cable Guy, was delighted to miss stops, shut the doors on packages of middle aged women, and totally ignore those standing in the rain. It is what gave the texture to his days and made his sleeping at night so easy. He realized that he was in the minority. Most people didn't get to find the good in their days but must slug on in jobs they hate.

Clive hoped that no one found out his license was invalid.  
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on February 28, 2008, 12:09:43 PM
Clive's driving license sat upon it's wheelchair, "Can I go to work with you today?" It asked, coughing.

"In that state, best you stay home."

He adjusted his cap and slammed the door on his way out.


The driving license died while Clive was at work.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on February 28, 2008, 12:58:50 PM
"Where's your owner scumbag?" the cop asked the license.

"I don't know; honest I don't!" squeaked the license.

The cop took a step towards the license and gave it a vicious slap across the cover. The license folded: "OK I'll tell ya. Please don't hurt me. He's nipped out to Tesco's to buy some pop tarts."

The cop picked up the license, ripped it to shreds and flung the bits on the table: "So long you paper freak!"

Norbert felt that a life without sherbet would be intolerable.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on March 01, 2008, 06:44:16 PM
Norberta came home from work, "Norbert, I'm home."

She searched about for him, "must be in the bedroom."

She opened the door and screamed. Norbert lay upon the bed, foam fizzing out of his mouth. He'd left a note.

"Norberta, my dearest. We don't have enough money to feed our sherbert habit, so I'm overdosing. With love, Norbert."


Tell: Norberta ran into financial difficulty.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on March 01, 2008, 07:25:46 PM
Norberta grieved for at least fifteen minutes. Maybe ten.

Anyway, she ran to her lover, the stockbroker, and explained that she was free of the no good lousy husband who had been like a leech, a stone weighing her down, a pitiful character.

The stockbroker was really interested only in Norberta's physical assets and had no intention of leaving his REAL girlfriend for this pitiful creature. Instead of welcoming arms, she found a cold shoulder awaiting her revelations. She began to wonder if even the stock tips were real.

Tell:  Snidely Smith was elated with his new horse.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on March 02, 2008, 05:00:25 AM
"Snidely! Stop dancing on the puffin ceiling," Mrs Smith shouted.

"Yipee," Snidely said, as he tap-danced round the chandelier: "I can't help it dear; buying Dobbin was one of the best things I've ever done. Oh what a feeling!"

Mrs Smith was desperate to become a granny.




Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on March 04, 2008, 09:06:08 AM
Mrs Smith was visiting her son and daughter-in-law. They needed to run to the grocery store for some last minute items and Mrs Smith the elder opted to remain at home, saying her knee bothered her.

While the young couple was out, she crept into their bedroom and took a safety pin and put holes in all their condoms. That should do the trick.

Tell.   The snow piled up in drifts.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on March 04, 2008, 10:47:19 AM
An evil genius (it may have been PaulW) had shrunk Sir Nigel down to the size of a dung beetle and placed him inside a snow globe. The trinket sat on the MWC bar for everyone to see. When Gyppo came into the bar for his virtual cooked breakfast, he picked up the globe and gave it a good shake. Sir Nige valiantly clung to the little steeple as the snow swirled around him but eventually his tiny little fingers went all blue from the cold and he fell into a snow drift with a plop.

"Can I have a shake?" said SpChick: "I want to see if I can spear him on the church railings."

The evil genius regretted his crulety

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on March 07, 2008, 08:29:39 AM
The Demon Duck waddled from his secret lair into the the lounge, "that really wasn't worth the effort. Sure it was fun, but I had to get a third mortgage to pay for the Knight Shrinker."

Tell: Tiny Snige had his revenge.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on March 07, 2008, 08:48:04 AM
Later that day Sir Nige introduced the Duck to Bernard Mathews.

Tell: the duck had reason to be apprehensive.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: DGSquared on March 07, 2008, 02:08:35 PM
Bernard Matthews, the world renowned Pompous chef from Port Vino was preparing to deliver his first ever culinary class. Having drank too much sherry, he left his home forgetting the pheasant he was to prepare in class. Distraught and tipsy he frantically searched for the mess hall hoping to find a replacement - anything.

The freezers were locked and all that remained was a plump cafeteria lady busy clattering pans onto their shelves. He considered her. Murder? No, not on his first day on the job. He would save her for a feast. 'Perish the thought," he muttered to himself as he scurried back to his classroom.

Then, as if heaven above had heard his prayers or Satan below had heard his cursing, in through the door walked Sir Nigel holding a fat, juicy duck.

"My dear sir," said Mr. Matthews, "I find myself in need of a bird for my culinary class. Would you be willing to sell your fat duck to me? I will, of course, pay you top dollar. Money is no object."

Sir Nigel sized up the strange looking chef who was now drooling and licking his lips, frenzied eyes fixed on the duck. "What would you say to three bars of gold, old man?"

"I'd say you were crazy!"

Sir Nigel said, "Fine, you cannot purchase the duck then."

The duck let out a quack of relief.

Furious, Chef Bernard cried, "Okay! I haven't the gold on me, would you settle for my Bentley?"

"Does that include the driver?"

"Yes!"

Sir Nigel handed the duck to the crazed chef and left grinning.


Tell:
 Sir Nigel's driver was crazy.







Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on March 07, 2008, 02:30:23 PM
Sir Nigel slung his golf bag over his shoulder and marched out of the mansion and off towards his own private 9 hole course.

The putters and irons were laying quietly in the bag but his 3 wood was going nuts: "Don't you go swinging me about again you pompous oaf. You stand there, legs apart, waggling your enormous bottom; then thwack my head against one of those egregious balls. I just can't take any more. HELP! HELP!"

Tell: Of course Snige's golf clubs couldn't talk, it was all in his head.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on March 10, 2008, 11:15:07 PM
Two Ruffians grabbed him and forced him into backwards jacket.

Tell: Snige got lonely in the Mental institution.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on March 11, 2008, 04:32:50 AM
So desperate was Sir Nigel for companionship that he befriended a smelly working class person from Ward 10 and taught him how to play Bridge.

"Snap!" shouted Snige's new pal.

"Good man," said Sir Nigel, "now you are getting the hang of it. Unfortunately you lost that rubber so hand over another of your gold teeth."

Tell: Sir Nige's new pal, Derek, worshipped Sir Nigel.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on March 12, 2008, 07:39:02 AM
Derek sat in the Community Room across from Sir Wonderful Nige. He sighed, he glanced, he sighed, he glanced again. He sighed even louder. Nige never looked up. Derek sent brain waves across the room, willing Nige to look at him just once. Derek, eyes limpid, mouth pursed, began to inch his right hand into his waistband.

The nurse in charge of the room, a large burly man, came over and bopped Derek across the head, "None of that in a public place, mate."


Tell: Pink elephants are quite graceful.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on March 12, 2008, 07:54:31 AM
Nellie started in the Arabesque position. Her slender pink leg extended behind her, un-wavering, perfectly straight. There was a dazzling pink blur and the sound of a swishing trunk as she performed a magnificent Entrechat.

"Bravo! Barvo!" Rolf cheered. "Now come to bed before you tire yourself."

Nellie wondered how Rolf would manage it.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on March 17, 2008, 11:32:34 PM
Nellie sat and stared at Rolf. She peered out of half closed eyes, squinting with concentration. You could almost smell the smoke from the friction caused by rusted wheels trying to turn inside her brain. No matter how hard she thought, she couldn't figure out a way for Rolf to finally get his car back from the impound lot.

Snidely Eyelash had a secret yearning for Nellie.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on March 18, 2008, 11:19:39 PM
    Nellie the Elephant packed her trunk
    And said goodbye to the circus
    Off she went with a trumpety-trump
    Trump, trump, trump

Snidely Eyelash hid in the bushes watching. He cried knowing he'd never see his beloved Nellie ever again.


Tell: Rolf went to the supermarket for some crackers.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Amie on March 20, 2008, 12:36:32 AM
Perusing the kitchen cabinets, Rolf noticed an empty spot in location 11c (the Jacob's cracker shelf in his particular kitchen). His heart dropped in his chest with a sick thud: Only 9 boxes of crackers? he thought. What if the Apocolypse comes tomorrow? This will not do.

And that was how he found himself at a 24 hour Morrison's at 2 am, wearing his raggy old bathrobe and slippers, filling his trolley with loads and loads of Jacobs.


Tell: Sometimes it's better to tell rather than show, it's all about getting the balance right.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on March 20, 2008, 06:52:20 PM
Rolf poured Veronica a large glass of Noilly Prat: "There is a foul smelling discharge coming from that carbuncle on my bottom -- shall I show you?"

"No dear. Just tell me all about it."

Tell: Veronica wondered: why was it that Noilly Prat was no longer fashionable?
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: pamela07 on March 20, 2008, 07:14:17 PM
Veronica hosted a fashion show for charity.  All proceeds are to go to an organization for up and coming models for inner city children.  She invited several of her longtime friends to participate.  She ran into one old friend, Noilly Prat.  "Hi Noilly, how have you been?"  In the back of her mind as she reached out to hug Noilly she wondered why her clothes were so tattered and torn, because Noilly used to be so fashionable.  She quickly realized that Noilly had to be homeless.


There is a great love relationship in friendship.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on March 22, 2008, 11:52:57 AM
Rolf and Sir Nigel had first met as schoolmates. They had both been sent to the same boarding school. They eventually grew quite fond of each other. Rolf's only concern after 42 years together, was the Sir Nigel had recently gotten taken with the whole gerbil fetish. Rolf really preferred the handcuffs and whips. Sir Nigel claimed that his wife was suspicious of the marks left by the whips.

Tell: April showers bring May flowers.  
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on March 25, 2008, 12:30:42 PM
The April weather was fab. Well it was in the Navada desert where Rolf and Patricia were having a sneaky game of Canasta  ;) in Rolf's ranch -cum hideaway. They were finding it a bit hard to concentrate due to the racket the plumbers were making as they fitted 3 new showers in the pool area, but they worked steadily at their game until Rolf picked up a wild card.

"That was pleasant Rolf," Patricia said. "Is you sister Mabel coming over for dinner tonight?"

"May may come," Rolf said, cracking his third favourite joke.

"Shall I bring her some flowers from the store?" Patricia asked.

"No sod her. Spend the money on extra Tizer."

Tell: Patrica dreamt of bathing in Tizer.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: al1801 on March 25, 2008, 06:42:06 PM
The young man with the notebook and his pretty companion nodded in agreement - there were no need for words, it was a mutual understanding.

Tell:  Carrie was a definite for the State skating team.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on March 26, 2008, 02:59:28 PM
Carrie had one last chance to get selected. Her choice of outfit and costume would be critical: get it right and she was in the Texas skating team, but get it wrong and she would be back on the Buffalo Ice Hockey teamsheet before she could say 'triple axel'. After a moments consideration she pumped for Y.M.C.A. skated entirely naked. What a night!

Tell: Victoria had a secret  :o
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: onwingsofonyx on March 26, 2008, 09:38:50 PM
Show: Victoria pulled into the driveway slowly, and sighed heavily. She took another last look in the mirror and noted the large bruise-like hickey on her neck. Seeing a light go on in the bedroom upstairs, she hurriedly pulled some concealer from her purse and smudged it over the purpleish-blue spot, taking care to blur the edges with her skin.

Tell: Elizabeth hated it.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on March 27, 2008, 09:26:01 AM
Rolf was always playing with the bloody thing. He used to switch off the light and and walk around the bedroom with it pulsing and glowing in his hand.

"Rolf! Will you please put down that toy lightsabre and come to bed! When will you learn? You are not Obi sodding wan kenobi!!"

Tell: Boys like toys.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on March 31, 2008, 11:07:07 PM
Little Billy played with his blocks.

Tell: Life was getting worse for Rolf.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: al1801 on April 01, 2008, 02:33:47 AM
He ignored her pleas and went into the sitting room, knocking down the framed picture of Victoria's mother and father.

Tell: He was beginning to hate Victoria.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on April 01, 2008, 05:13:24 AM
Rolf sat at the kitchen table and seethed. That bloody woman! If she gives me just one more job I'm going to throttle her.

"Rolf!" Victoria shouted down the stairs: "Brush the dog before you come to bed. Oh and bring me a cup of Horlicks: two spoons of sugar, stir clockwise eight times and counter-clockwise twelve times. And I'll have a cookie. Oh and bring the lard up with you -- I'm feeling horny."

"Yes my sweet," Rolf shouted back.

Tell: Rolf turned to religion for help.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on April 01, 2008, 08:05:32 AM
Thin shafts of light slanted through the stained glass window. Rolf walked slowly down the parquet altar with thudding steps. He bowed at the front pew and sat down. Taking the prayer pillow and setting it gently, he knelt to ask for divine intervention.

"Dear Lord, I'm at the end of my tether, I feel like any moment I'll snap and kill my wife. Please, if you are as benign as I've been led to believe you are. Please send her to her parents house for the weekend."


Tell: Rolf's prayer came true, with disastrous consequences.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on April 01, 2008, 09:28:17 AM
"I'm off now," said Victoria. "I'm going to mum and dad's for the week-end."

"What?! You haven't done the ironing yet."

"You'll just have to do it."

Why oh why did things never go right?

Tell: Rolf took it out on the cat.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on April 01, 2008, 09:29:59 AM
Mr Snoogans sat by the stairs stoned off his arse. Rolf walked by and kicked him.

Tell: Mr Snoogans would have his revenge.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Solitaire on April 01, 2008, 09:41:46 AM
Mr Snoogans shook himself and licked his paw.  Rolf had his nerve.  Summoning all his dignity, Snoogans stepped to the corner of the room where Rolf had tossed his sweater earlier that evening.  He circled the sweater once then lifted his leg.  “Take that, you bugger . . “


The war escalates. 
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on April 01, 2008, 09:50:20 AM
Rolf woke from his nap, "where'd I leave my sweater?"

He spotted it in the corner. As Rolf walked towards it, he gagged on the smell of cat urine, "that little b******."
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: al1801 on April 01, 2008, 05:59:03 PM
Show:  The Kitty Litter box still stood in the corner, Rolf's nice, white cricket sweater was yellowed with urine stains:

Tell: Rolf was 'PO'd
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: onwingsofonyx on April 01, 2008, 09:57:14 PM
Show: Rolf stood his ground and looked around for the cat. "Blasted cat," he murmered "...I'll friggen' kill it!!!"

Tell: Rolf got even.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Amie on April 01, 2008, 10:39:12 PM
Rolf fumed as he examined his cat-urine soaked cricket sweater. "When I get my hands on that damned moggie!" he shrieked.

As luck would have it, said damned moggie entered the living room at that precise moment, rubbing itself happily against the edge of the door and chirruping as if it were the most adorable creature in the universe.

"Right!" cried Rolf, snatching the cat up with glee. Securing each off the cat's four paws to 50 lb anchors (which just happened to be conveniently located in the garden), he unzipped his fly and gave the cat a thorough drenching. he spent the rest of the afternoon drinking weak lager in the sunshine and relieving himself on the sticky beast as the need arose.


tell: Rolf's neighbour thought his treatment of the cat was both bizarre and cruel. She had never experienced the fury associated with furry piss-taking creatures befouling one's sporting apparel.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: al1801 on April 02, 2008, 02:03:53 AM
The other members of the Little Puddleduck Cricket Club - Britain, er, England's most famous small village Saturday Sunday League team, all went home, grabbed their feline pets - or the neighbour's and carried out a similar relieving  revenge act on said moggies.   Henderson & Sons Co Ltd, Chandlers,  by appt. HMTQ, billed the LPCC for the sale of anchors, a sale not heard of since the lords of The Admiralty procured a sailor's dozen in 1803.

Tell:  Rolf's buddies followed through.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on April 03, 2008, 09:00:43 AM
It was the summer fate and the whole village were out on the green. The vicar was holding a farting contest and Rolf and his buddies Nigel and Tim were through the final round. The Rev Green fired the starting pistol and the grunting began. Rolf did well with a 3.5 but then disaster struck: as Nigel and Tim battled they both pushed a bit too hard and managed a simultaneously follow-through. The vicar's wife presented Rolf with his coconut while Nigel and Tim waddled off to change their pants.

Tell: Rev. Green was concerned for his reputation.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on April 03, 2008, 01:57:10 PM
The Rev Green was pastor of strict church. His affection for Sir Nigel was eclipsed only by his insane love of his pet sheep, Stella. The congregation thought him a man of impeccable tastes and sterling character. He had far less trouble with his romantic encounters with Stella, she was after all female, than with the problematic encounters with his fey gay lover.

Church people can be such prudes. There must be some place in the Good Book that says that it is perfectly permissible to find love where you can. Surely.

Rev "Long-Dong" Green gave Stella some sweet mown grass, patted her on the ass, and let her out into the back gardens. The Bishop would never find out.

Tell: Phone calls are intrusive.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on April 03, 2008, 03:18:58 PM
Veronica looked back over her shoulder: "Rolf dear, try to stop grunting, I'm going to phone my mother."

"What now?!" Rolf said. "GRUNT. It's hardly a good time."

"Well I'm not doing much else. Just keep the noise down and it will be fine."

Tell: This was not the kind of threesome Rolf had in mind.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: al1801 on April 03, 2008, 04:55:10 PM
Meanwhile, back at the fete.  The contrests were over, the vicar had ensured Stella the Synthetic Wool Sheep had been fed and Lady Pamela Hawse-Fhysiog awarded the prizes; it was now time for the entertainment.    Today's guest was the "Prattling Parson," folk singer to the rural folk."

He appeared on the stage, dressed in episcopalian  high church regalia; - 1-2-3 tested the mic and began a song wavering and quavering for a minim, er, minute or two and began:

"I'm the Vicar of Wyckham-Cum-Whee
Each say I go to afternoon tea.
With Lady Hortense Ffloukes-Jones
We jump on each others bones
That sweet lady just satisfies me
Nonny-no. Nonny-nay"


Percival Fflotsom-Jetts turned to his lady, the Hon. Buffy Freakin-Dubbelnom- de Pplume.
"I thay, Buffy, old thing.  Ithn't that thinging parthon, old poopypanths Jackthon from Thschool?"

"I do believe it is, old boy.  Silly little chap couldn't sing a note.   You know he joined the...."

""....ssshhh, we don't mention that name here, old girl," said Percy...."not if you wish to live another day.  The thinging parthon ith none other than...well, he'th thecond only to that Jameth Bond chappie."

Tell: Make sure you know who you book for the village fete entertainment.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on April 06, 2008, 04:50:01 AM
When Lucifer turned up at the summer fate and said he was the strip-o-gram, Rev. Green went mental. He told Lucifer to bugger off and take his horn with him.

Tell: Lucifer was disappointed.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Solitaire on April 06, 2008, 08:04:18 AM
Lucifer's sulfurous, smoldering eyes fell upon Reverend Green.  "I've a contract to perform, sir, and perform I shall."  He seethed. 

Reverend Green eyed Lucifer's horns and swishing tail and the piece-de-resistance bulging beneath the metal-studded g-string.  "This--this is a family fete."  He shuddered. 

"Well, then, Reverend, I shall bring my family as well."



Tell:  Lucifer summons the host of hell.   
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: al1801 on April 07, 2008, 06:48:48 PM
"That bloody does it," said the Director Of Terrestial Affairs.   "Mike, Gabe, get the guys together, we're on a mission from the boss to sort this Big Luce guy out for once and for all.  This is his last day in the sun; his swansong; a farewell to arms.."

"Like, Chief, what's with the cliches?"

"Well, I'm so P O'd, I gotta give vent to my spleen somehow.  The Boss has warned me about flooding the place, picking on poor old Egypt, Sodom, Gomorrah and other fun places the terrestrials have picked up since the Big Seventh Day.  'No more 'were his words.  Sheesh, what's an angel gotta do for fun these days." 

A tear welled in his eyes.  It was catching, Mike and Gabe also sniffled.

Tell: and the Angels wept.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: onwingsofonyx on April 07, 2008, 11:38:08 PM
Show: Michael, Raphael, Uriel and Steve all sat at a table lush with hot gourmet dishes and fresh cakes. They waited patiently and smiled as they spoke among one another. Being the joker he was, Steve stood and grinned wide. "I've a joke to tell." he murmered. "It's a doozy."

The other three Archangels looked unamused and sat, stuffing their heavenly faces with heavenly heaps of heavenly fruits.

"What is it now?" Raphael spoke softly, his kind tone betraying his irritated words.

"You have to guess." Steve smiled wide.

"Just get on with it, please?" Came Uriel, who sat closest to Steve.

"Alright, alright." Steve made a strange face, his brow furrowed in thought.

"What are you doing?" Michael seemed impatient.

"Working on it..." Steve took another solid moment of silence and made odd faces, then turned to Uriel and blew the biggest fart he could muster straight at the Angel's face.

Each of them laughed until they wept.

Bathroom humor trancends even the heavens.

Tell: Martha put out.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on April 08, 2008, 01:08:04 PM
Put out  :-\ According to my research American slang for sexual favours .

Lord Hardrod gave Martha a shiny new shilling for her trouble. She thanked him, put the butter back in the fridge, and gave him his change.

Tell: Some say Martha was cheap.


Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on April 10, 2008, 08:03:40 AM
[Reiterating the rules. Person A posts a Tell and Person B takes that Tell and makes it a Show and then leaves a Tell for the next person.]

Martha was shopping early for her Christmas presents. Sure it was only April, but now was the time to find some really great deals. She was at the flea market and there were all manner of items to select from. Her list was getting longer and longer and she was considering stopping the nonsense for all the adults and only purchasing gifts for the children. Under the age of 12. That would help.

She picked up a Tonka truck, noting that it was only slightly dented and not rusted at all. That would do nicely for Alphonse. He would be 2 by Christmas. And the truck was marked for $2.99. She began to haggle with the booth operator.

Tell: Rules are annoying as hell.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on April 10, 2008, 10:33:41 AM
Rolf was sitting reading the list of rules that Mildred had given him. They were extremely irksome and as he read he felt like his brain was swarming with tiny devils all stabbing his frontal lobe with their steely little tridents. As his irritation quickened, his nostril hairs twitched and he could swear he smelt brimstone.

Tell: Men don't make passes at girls with moustaches.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: onwingsofonyx on April 10, 2008, 04:11:00 PM
From behind she looked ideal, James approached the bar and sat next to the blonde with the curvaceous hips. Without looking her way, he asked for a scotch and spoke softly to the woman sitting beside him. "I couldn't help but notice you from across the room." He whispered, doing his best to sound sly and worthy. From the slender form at his side came a deep, rough voice. "You're pretty handsome yourself." James felt a hand crawl over his knee- a too-big hand, the kind of hand his grandfather had. He turned toward the woman- no... man, and stood, tossing a few dollars onto the bar. "Sorry, I mistook you for someone else!" As he hurriedly walked toward the rear of the bar, the transvestite stood and shouted. "Oh don't be modest honey, the sex change really works for you!!!"

tell: Elephants get thirsty. REALLY thirsty.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on April 10, 2008, 10:00:33 PM
The ground shook, Timmy the Tiger leapt out of the way as a herd of elephant stampeded towards the lake.

Tell: The elephants were annoyed because the lake had gone dry.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on April 11, 2008, 07:02:29 AM
Jumbo kicked at the dusty and dry lake bed with his neatly pedicured giant foot. "Bugger! The wilderbeast got hear before us."

Tell: Elephants are largely metrosexual.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on April 11, 2008, 07:57:42 PM
The elephant ogled the wildebeast. And the lion. And Minnie Mouse. The lout.

Tell: Mickey Mouse cared so much for Minnie.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: fire-fly on April 11, 2008, 08:18:35 PM
Eating breakfast was slow when the Mouses dined at Macdonalds. Mickey always let Minnie have first use of the false teeth.

Tell: Macdonalds had just opened.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on April 12, 2008, 01:58:37 AM
Ollie sat on his wall, mumbling to himself, "MacShittty Burgers are taking over the world."

Tell: Life was never going to be the same for Donald Duck's beret.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on April 12, 2008, 04:53:26 AM
Donald handed his beret to King Dong: "I can see you are unused to our awful weather. Here take my beret; you can use it as a willy warmer."

Tell: King Dong was overjoyed.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on April 12, 2008, 05:18:18 AM
Donald Duck waddled away, King Dong stared at the bobbing backside until it left his view.

He placed the beret down his trousers, "Anna, take a memo, I'm in love."

Tell: Donald furiously tried to spurn the king's advances.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on April 12, 2008, 05:32:21 AM
"No, no. Take those flowers away I don't want them." Donald backed away: "Yes I know my webbed feet are cute but please stop kissing them -- you've got slobber all over my toes. OK you can have a feather to keep in a locket next to your heart but only if you promise to stop stroking my wing".

Tell: Dong thought, if I can't have him one way, I'll have him another.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on April 12, 2008, 05:57:42 AM
Peking spices wafted from the kitchen.

Tell: Rolf was terrible at golf.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: K&KForever on April 12, 2008, 06:25:13 AM
he shoot 2 holes In whole Weak ...

Tell :  Golf is unnecessary Stuff
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on April 12, 2008, 06:29:05 AM
Stuff, the great gaping void of what was once space, something. Tell me new member, how may I offend you today?

Experiencing technical difficulties
cannot post new tell
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on April 12, 2008, 12:16:42 PM
The writer tapped the colon key on his keyboard but nothing appeared on the screen. "Doh!"

He gave the key a hard jab. Still nothing. He removed his monocle placed it on the desk next to the overflowing ashtray and bent over and peered at the stubborn key. Behind his back a large rat scooted out from a hole in the skirting board, stood up on its hind legs and began to juggle with 6 tiny dried mouse turds. The writer was oblivious to the juggling rat: he was transfixed by a piece of Cheesy Whotsit that was wedged between the colon key and the @ key on his new Dell wireless keyboard.

He stood, scratched his head and said, "Technical difficulties."

The rat scampered off leaving two of the six mouse turds on the writer's rug. A flea took advantage of the situation to abandon rat and burrowed deep into the rug's pile. The flea's name was Michael and he was in search of a new condominium -- preferable one with a view.

Tell: You don't have to be mad to have a sign on your office wall that says 'you don't have to be mad to work here but it helps' but it helps.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on April 27, 2008, 09:19:21 PM
Citabria's office door slammed, the sign proclaiming that he didn't need to be mad but it helped fell to the floor. He opened the door and noticed it, "I prefer it like that."

He slammed the door again, and the sign blew out of the window, off to help another overcome their fear of useless madness.

Tell: Gyppo received the magical sign of madness being helpful.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on April 29, 2008, 06:01:00 PM
Wandering as he did in his usual wayward way, Gyppo's bleary eye baleful glare caught many pub patrons off track.  The ultimate in teetotalers, he'd found his cumbersome height also to be to his advantage as he could act in most peculiar manners at any given time and people would automatically link it up to the drink, the madness or both.  Gyppo smiled inwardly at this effect as it had proven an aid to getting his simple goals, such as free food, achieved.

Tell: My daughter is not yet a teenager but already making to be a drunken sailor and hanging with single browed primates.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on April 29, 2008, 10:21:47 PM
Sarah, Bernice Narnian's best friend, grunted at Narnian Prince as he was caught eavesdropping on their conversation.

Tell: Janis was in church, asking god to legalise marijuana.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on April 30, 2008, 07:38:29 AM
"Okay, look," Janis whispered to the heavens, "I don't know if you really exist or not but it's been a few days now since I've even rolled a joint.  I really, really need you to hear me and help me out of this.  I mean, how many 12 year olds did you create, whose father's are cops, that really need you to get us some more weed without their knowing?  Better yet, could you just help the hapless bunch of do-gooders to understand that getting high is about the best thing in life whether you lose your mind or not?  If you could help make it legal, there would be no more hassles.  Anyway, that's my prayer if you're really there.  Amen"  As she turned to leave Janis rolled her eyes and sighed deeply upon spotting her parents and the rector directly behind her in the otherwise empty chapel. 

Tell: The dishrag Gyppo wore as a hat looked familiar.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on May 02, 2008, 02:27:22 AM
Oliver answered the door to find a rotund and overly hirsute gypsy standing on his recently decked entranceway.

"Wanna a buy a peg laddie?" the gypsy asked. "I nicked them myself. Great for hanging out washing. AND they can be used as nip clips or strap hangers. Three florins a gross. Go on, you know you want some."

"Thank you kind gypsy. I would like three gross. Here's a farthing: keep the change. But tell me, why are you wearing that French flag on you head?"

"Tiss lucky young sir. And it keeps the vampire-frogs at bay."

"Vampire bats surely?"

The gypsy laughed: "Bats! What a ridiculous idea."

Tell: The gypsy was mistaken.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: redmeat73 on May 06, 2008, 08:08:54 AM
Show - After sipping from the cup, he put it down. The taste of lemsip will linger for a while.

Tell - Flicking the small box he groans, 'that won't shift this cold.'


Is that correct? Seems i'm showing to much and not telling enough.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: redmeat73 on May 06, 2008, 08:15:31 AM
This is barely related to the tread, but when, if ever, is it ok to show over tell? Or is a happy medium thing?


Matt..
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on May 06, 2008, 10:14:37 AM
Hi Matt

The idea of the thread is to take the TELL from the previous post (for example: The gypsy was mistaken.) and write it as a SHOW. Then write a new TELL for the next person.

Some of us get carried away and turn our SHOWs into flash fiction  ;D

Your TELL: Flicking the small box he groans, 'that won't shift this cold.' is more of a SHOW really. The TELL for which might have been something like: He was disappointed with the medicine.

As to happy medium -- yes exactly.

Mark

TELL: Todhunter was bored.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: redmeat73 on May 06, 2008, 12:11:53 PM
TELL: Todhunter was bored.

He'd been trying all day, but dispite his efforts hadn't managed to catch a single fish.

TELL: The door wouldn't budge.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: redmeat73 on May 06, 2008, 12:20:56 PM
The impact of his head against the door support had knocked him unconscious. The cold, dark water pouring over him woke him. The car had left the road, hit the speed barrier, flipped and rolled down the steep incline to the lake.

No matter how hard he hammered on the driver’s door. It refused to open.


TELL: I don't drink or smoke.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 06, 2008, 07:30:27 PM
The first chap I ran into offered me a tube of nicotine and other noxious chemicals that even lab rats would refuse.  When I declined his offer, he immediately resorted to attempts to imbibe me with fluid concoctions composed of alcohol and potato remains.  I finally put my foot down and informed him that I participate in neither habit for the sake of my health.

TELL: Beth began to cry.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on May 07, 2008, 04:21:02 AM
What is the matter with that girl? True, her father has just driven over her cat with his 4X4, and her best friend has now admitted that she has been sleeping with Beth's boy friend for the last 2 years, and her mum has eloped with the pool guy, and worst of all she has a pimple right in the middle of her forehead; but is that any reason to stand there blubbing like a TV chef whose sole job it is to dice onions?

TELL: Beth felt a fool.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: redmeat73 on May 07, 2008, 04:53:30 AM
The club was dark and crowded, so she thought, 'what the hell' - if he dresses like and idiot, i'll cop a feel.



TELL: It looked like that hurt...alot.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on May 07, 2008, 07:44:40 AM
In an attempt to return to the girlish figure that would permit me to fit my butt into all my slacks, I purchased a pair of roller blades or inline skates. I thought exercise would do me good. I struggled into the skates, but that didn't seem to burn enough calories. I called for my husband to watch in case I needed help. I skated away with arms flailing, looking like a deranged person on bad acid. I got myself stopped and turned toward the safety of home, my sofa, and a bowl of potato chips. All of a sudden, without any hint of warning, my feet flew out from under me and I found myself sitting on the pavement.

My husband, after he controlled his laughter, came to my aid. He helped to remove the offensive footwear and we went off to the local hospital. X-rays were taken after enough codeine was ingested to permit movement of my arm. Yes, arm. It hit something during the fall and was swollen with my fingers numb and tingly. I left the place with my new flashy accessory, a sling. Tucked demurely within was an ice bag and clutched firmly in my one good hand were a couple pain pill prescriptions.
[Unfortunately, this is a true story so I am typing with one hand.]

TELL:  She should act her age.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: redmeat73 on May 07, 2008, 08:55:51 AM
'She should act her age; she should act her bloody age!' The face of the aging actress has turned from flushed pink to an angry shade of red. 

'Who the FUCK do they think they are?' The seated Prim donna scours her already barren dressing table for something else to ‘liberate’.

Empty handed she continues. 'Do they forget so quickly that it was I who won an Oscar last year? I tell you If that little prick who wrote that was here now, I’d cut his balls off with a...with a...'

Again she looks about her, stoops and picks up an already discarded missile.

'I’d castrate that little bastard with a hair brush!'


TELL: My son has a rocket.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 07, 2008, 10:15:14 AM
fair warning... if thou art of a delicate nature and unnaturally predisposed to offense at the slightest hint of possibly immoral material... stoppeth thy reading NOW!

As Paul sauntered into the room, I considered for a moment that he again had that proverbial cat that swallowed the canary look about him.  Upon asking him his plans for the evening I again received the rolled eyes and tired expression of, "Mother, what do I do every night at this time?"

To which I responded, equally bothered by his irritation, "Go and find the nearest slut and make yet another vain attempt to either a) bang the bloody hell out of the broad,  b) re-populate the universe in one night or c) both."

I sighed as I considered that, like his fourteen brothers ahead of him, he was only doing what came naturally since their father had taken them out to the woodshed and amply displayed on one of our yearling goats that they had more than a good set of marbles in their pockets.  They had all taken their turns and, having found the pleasure undeniable, had equally gone out and made solid names in every household in creation for themselves.

My only wonder was, with so much talent being distributed and accepted so freely, how long would it be before my gender got tired.  Oh, what the hell am I talking about?  I love being pregnant and with my sixteenth on its way, I can't wait for the day to get active again.  I only hope that Paul takes care of his talented marble set so that he may accomplish his goals.

TELL: Paul made Amy very nervous.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: redmeat73 on May 07, 2008, 10:56:05 AM
She had tried to get a peek at what letters he had but Paul was guarding them closely. So much so that he even took them with him to the toilet.

It all rested on this, the final word play...who would win scrabble and forfit the washing up!


TELL: Why on earth does my forehead ache...
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 07, 2008, 11:09:53 AM
Okay, granted it had been a long day what with all the washing up, looking after my seven kids, my sister's nine and the three underage brats from down the street.  Not too mention the t.v.'s and stereo's being cranked to decibels louder than a jet aircraft on take off, Mrs. Okeedagan's cat screeching for a mate on the back fence (or maybe just a quickie to soothe its butt), and the jackhammer drill ripping up half the street since the mains backed up.  But all the same, I've heard all this before and been okay.  So, why now of all days, when my period is starting to flare up again, do I have this fire like intensity between my temples that not even several bottles of Advil washed down by my husband's best liquor, will cure...?

TELL: Day turned slowly into night.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: redmeat73 on May 07, 2008, 11:25:49 AM
The figure has been waiting, as always, for the shadows to meet the horizon and colour the sky black. Shaking the last of the sleep from his body, he stands naked enjoying the nights cool touch.

Looking out over the wasted landscape he often wishes his appitites weren't so...destructive.

Those tall building, those sky scrapers, that mankind so enjoyed building, look like nothing more that tomb stones marking the graves of those who have passed.

And so many had passed...


TELL: When will i paint my study.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 07, 2008, 01:43:31 PM
Turning back into the room from the morose scene of decadence and depravity that I had just witnessed so lovingly, I considered once again my list of tasks for the day.  I'd already consumed my pound of flesh for the day so a snack from the sleeping form of my mate sprawled across the floor before me was out of the question.  Also, any ideas of putting things off again were instantly erased by the sight of the carnage we'd inflicted on the vicar's lawn during our  nightly 'hunt and grunt' session last evening.  We would definitely be held responsible for that one, I reflected as I moved from room to room.  An open can of fresh human organ meat and blood sat on a ladder in the study before me, tantalizingly close and beckoning me to finish the challenge I had begun weeks ago.  My second brain kicked in and demanded to know time frames and estimates for completion.  I told it to shut up and repeated how difficult it was to do three jobs at once when possessed by alien entities.  Still, a large part of me did wonder when I'd get it finished.

TELL: William considered a second arrow for his task.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: redmeat73 on May 08, 2008, 03:40:45 AM
William buried the 'first' arrow along with its unintended target...so he need a second arrow (same apple) and a second prop...



TELL: The spoon is stuck fast.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on May 08, 2008, 03:55:13 AM
Rolf scratched his head and gawped down at the handle of the spoon poking out of the hole. He reached down and gave it a sharp tug. Mitzy started yelling again.

Tell: Mitzy wished she had not agreed to Rolf's suggestion.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 08, 2008, 08:01:06 AM
Once again Mitzy found that she did indeed feel the need to visit the MWC Bar to see if anyone worthwhile might actually be able to help her.  There was, quite obviously, no such aid coming from the gray haired old coot who merely stood and stared at the problem without offering any practical solutions.  Waving her hand in front of Rolf's face she noticed the blank stare never changed and she pondered that he might have gone catatonic again.  The echoing noises of raw sewage gurgling through his digestive tract were the only indications of life she could detect in him.  His all too familiar blank appearance made her regret asking him for ideas on what to do.  Surely Fire Fly, Rowena or some other far more intelligent creature might be of more benefit.

TELL:  Nigel considered Rolf' predicament.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on May 08, 2008, 11:35:15 AM
Nigel sat at his desk drumming his fingers: "Rolfy, Rolfy Rolfy; what are we to do about this ghastly spoon situation?"

Tell: Rolf hated being called Rolfy

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: redmeat73 on May 09, 2008, 06:46:44 AM
Rolf hated being called Rolfy. Rolfy this, Rolfy that, Rolfy could you help me, Rolfy be a darling...enough, didn't she realise he'd had enough?

So with an oven glove and a sharp pair of scissors. He set about his work.

On the night before the anual Fudwich hamster Olympics, 'Rolfy' took his revenge. The target was the righing five time champion and a entrant to the Holimpiad hall of fame called, 'The Fudwich hammer'. When Rolfy finished the 'hammer', who was noted for its long lusty hair, he now sported an all over crew cut.

That'll teach his mother. The name she gave him was Rolf for fuck sake and at the age of 36 you'd think she would stop embarrassing him. 



If i tug hard enough...
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on May 09, 2008, 07:06:59 AM
He emerged from the bushes, eyes bulging, sanguine of cheek, grunting like a calving walrus and tumescent to the point of blissful agony.

Tell: Old Mrs Snatch didn't like the look of him.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: redmeat73 on May 09, 2008, 07:33:38 AM
But then again she didn't like the look of anyone much. But thats what you get for having a gammy peg-leg and Tourettes.


TELL - Looking into the box, Max, wondered...
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on May 09, 2008, 08:21:47 AM
Max took hold of a flap in each hand and opened the box. Ignoring the smell of jellied eels he leant forward and peered inside. Could this be the place? Rolf had to be somewhere and he was last seen entering the box. A foul smelling discharge trickled out of the box and dripped onto Max's foot. He flicked it off with a kung-fu kick and it flew across the room and splattered against the lampshade.

Of course! The lampshade, why hadn't he spotted it before? Rolf had most likely been snatched by the Lampshadian Cult of Smiling Herberts. Max decided to scarper before they came back for him.

Tell: In fact Rolf was otherwise engaged.


Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: redmeat73 on May 09, 2008, 04:39:37 PM
But if he hadn't been then he would have definitely flown to Vegas and married that woman from the chip shop.


TELL - My son tells me only boys are allowed to play with rockets.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 09, 2008, 11:18:48 PM
It was one of those cold wintry nights and my son, who had finally come of age, was having a quiet fireside chat with me.  Somehow we got around to discussing the wonders of life and the challenges he might soon face.  Groaning he rolled his eyes and looked at me pitifully as though I were a lab specimen with no link to his intellect whatsoever.  His behaviour did an alert about face when I mentioned the opposite gender and their delacacies.  As though explaining things to a young child, he cut to metaphors that best explained his position more clearly.  I coughed and spilled most of my Chivas Regal when he got to the bit about keeping his "rocket in its pocket where it belonged".  No female, he assured me, played with his toys until he decided it was time light the tampon string.  As I dozed in the Bar later that night, was that Rowena's and FF's wicked laughter I overheard as the tale was recanted several times over...?

TELL - Rowena and FF were having fits.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on May 10, 2008, 04:25:27 AM
The bar was a disaster area. Seconds earlier Narnian Beast had lobbed a canister of CS gas through the widow and then legged it, cackling to himself as he went. Gyppo was now lying like a fallen race horse; leg broken by Big T as he'd trampled him underfoot whilst scrambling for the exit. Most of the other drinkers had escaped through the gents' window, but not poor Rowena and FF.

When the gas canister exploded, the girls had been up on the stage entertaining the writers with their raunchy rendition of 'It's raining Pens'. They'd gulped down lungfuls of the acrid smoke before they'd realised the Beast's evil intent. And now, lying side by side on the stage, they twitched and moaned, foamed at the mouth, thrashed about like fish in a net.

Bones was furious. Bloodly Narnian Beast! The gas had totally ruined a perfectly good dish of pretzels. The wholesome snacks had been tainted by the gas and bones would be forced to either throw them away (unthinkable) or spend hours washing them in wine vinegar and then drying them on the radiator. The Beast would pay for this.

Tell: Gyppo lay in agony wondering at the Narnian Beast's motivation.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: fire-fly on May 13, 2008, 05:37:14 PM
Gyppo lay in agony wondering at the Narnian Beast's motivation.. He rolled hesitantly onto his side and spotted the ever gorgeous and sexy Rowena lying lifeless. A short distance from her, crumpled and bleeding, lay the ever voluptuous Fire-Fly.

He dragged himself, commando style, across the bar floor, over broken glass, gagging on the still acrid smelling air. Gyppo checked Rowena and the ever voluptuous FF for a pulse but was totally perplexed as to were the Fly would have one.

"Bones I be needin a bit of a hand over here old mate if you will."

Bones clattered across the room to find Gyppo artfully administering CPR to the girls.

Firstly, the totally gorgeous and sexy Rowena, who after a couple of energetic heart pumps from Bones, (who insisted on ripping the shirt from her back) and three or four good puffs from the heroic Gyppo, she slowly roused, shaken, but not stirred.

The ever voluptuous FF was next and time was running out. Gyppo, now exhausted and still bleeding, always worked so much better under pressure, tilted her head back, covered her mouth with his own and breathed life-giving air back into her lungs.

The ever voluptuous FF coughed, spluttered and sat bolt upright.

"Easy on the tongue Gyp and I very near choked on ya beard old mate."

The Narnian Beast was a marked man.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on May 13, 2008, 05:51:53 PM
Eventually the screaming stopped and the Narnain Beast surreptitiously crept out of the wardrobe and sculked across the landing and into the bathroom. He stripped naked and stared at himself in the mirror above the sink. The purple blemish was getting bigger each day and now stretched from his navel to his left nipple. He used one of his claws to trace the mark: 666. What could that mean, he wondered.

Tell: The beast knew someone that might help him.





Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on May 13, 2008, 07:22:53 PM
Narnian Beast looked deeper into the mirror of the men's room and gasped, "SpChick, what are you doing in here."

"I've always been good with numbers, StudMuffin," she purred as she caressed his torso and wrapped herself sinuously around him.

Tell: The loo is often cramped.  
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on May 14, 2008, 02:52:36 AM
A family of refugees from the slums of Boston (author note: I have no idea if Boston has slums but it sounds like the kind of place that should have) was living in the Narnian Beast's urinal. They were singing their favourite song -- raindrops keep falling on my head -- to the accompaniment of Mrs. Mop vacuuming out the thunderbox. A hairy poacher was gutting a small Frenchman in the corner of the tiny room as a pirate -- Jolly Nigel -- urged him on with shouts of: av ay vous un slasher.

The beast was impervious to it all. He cast off the clinging siren and sat down on the can (a large can the size of an oil drum) and started doing The Times crossword. One down, 3 letters, 'insane', first letter M last letter D. He scratched his horn: Christ these English crosswords were difficult!

Tell: She needed a cunning and devious plan.


Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Amie on May 15, 2008, 02:46:10 AM
Caroline rummaged through the her collection of plans: 'Insipid', 'Trustworthy', 'Downright Daft'.... no, none of these would do at all. Finally, at taped to the bottom of a locked filing cabinet in an heretofore unknown room marked "Beware of the Tiger", she found it: this plan had more twists, turns and misdirections than....  but was it cunning?


She didn't know how to end this show.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on May 15, 2008, 04:08:45 AM
The prono-circus had been a big mistake. True the customers loved it; but the giraffe was looking jaded and the clown had a very sore bottom. Now health and safety were kicking up a stink because the naked traipse artist had been hit in the face and pole-axed by his partners swinging scrotum. The pole dancer -cum fire eater was in the ring at this very moment wallowing in the adoration of the crowd. Rolf reached for the fire extinguisher and ran to the scene.

Tell: There was nothing she wouldn't do for cash.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on May 15, 2008, 10:28:38 AM
"You want me to do WHAT?!" she screeched.
Rolf repeated the request.
"How much are you willing to pay for that, darling?"

Tell: The butler did it.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on May 15, 2008, 12:40:25 PM
When the baby was born, it had a very flat head; just like the butler's. As if that were not enough evidence, lady Batshit named the infant Peeves.

Tell: Lord Batshit contemplated a suitable punishment.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Zetos Lapier on May 15, 2008, 12:58:11 PM
The priceless vase fell to the ground, his wife standing with a white face, as Lord Batshit rubbed his chin thoughtfully thinking of a suitable punishment for the man.

Tell: Mac lost the game.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Terri on May 15, 2008, 01:23:41 PM
Even though PC was bloated, old, and lacked style, Mac couldn't rid himself of those random freezes and disconn-

Tell: There was just something frightening about Dad's shredder.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: pamela07 on May 16, 2008, 11:55:13 PM
Show:
  One day dad decided to go into the attic to get a few items he had been storing for quite sometime.  He came across his old run down paper shredder.  After dusting it off and trying to clean it up a little, he plugged it up to see if it still worked.  To everyone's surprise it worked. 

  About a week later, dad's shredder started acting strange.  Every time dad shredded paper, the shredder would make a strange humming noise.  No one thought anything of it until the end of the second week when mother noticed dad sitting in his office chair smiling and humming along with the humming coming from the now glowing paper shredder.  There was definitely something frightening about dad's shredder.


Tell:
  Mother asked dad to see a shrink.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on May 17, 2008, 10:44:47 AM
Mother poked Dad with her index finger: "I really think you should consider psychiatric help"

"Turnips," Dad said.

"See! You just don't seem to be able to converse coherently."

"Armchair, DUCK! Masturbater's handbag."

"Gordon if you don't get a grip of yourself they won't let you be PM anymore."

Tell: Doris became excited at the thought of highly polished false eyeballs.


Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 20, 2008, 02:02:56 AM
  Despite the extended growth of cobwebs in corners of the doorway, Doris excitedly entered the shop.  The rusted hinges complained loudly at the interruption of their long sleep as the wooden frame moved forward.  From within clouds of dust and vapours of various chemicals lent an aroma of decay to the apartment within.  She was neither attracted to nor distracted by any of these as her initial focus of the pristine shine on each of the orbital structures within their niches in the wall held her complete fascination.  Checking her purse one more time, she counted out the money with which she had come to purchase several sets.  She was determined that despite the doctors at the hospital, her brother would yet see again.

Tell:  Doctor Stephan Boronski could scarcely believe her proposition.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on May 20, 2008, 04:25:55 PM
Doctor Stephan Boronski wore hush-puppie shoes and cardigans with leather patches on the elbows. He was an academic. He had recently invented a new type of poetry called 'aqua-metre' which was written to be read in the bath.

Doctor Bor (as he was known to his friends) was due to give a lecture on the exciting new poetic development and was just about to leave his office, when a young student (of no fixed gender) entered and offered him a blow job.

He shook his head in astonishment. Who the hell needed a haircut five minutes before an important lecture?

Tell: Rolf enjoyed poetry in the bath.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: onwingsofonyx on May 25, 2008, 01:21:09 AM
Rolf soaked, bubbles up to his neck. The sleek cover of the book felt hard and slippery under Rolf's bubble-covered fingertips. Water splashed everywhere as Rolf excitedly recited his favourite poems, arms flailing with enthusiasm. Then suddenly, taken by his amazing performance Rolf mimmicked a bow, and the book made a nice sploosh-ing sound as it slid from Rolf's hand and hit the water.

Tell: Rofl mourned the loss of his book.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on May 25, 2008, 08:34:13 AM
Rolf looked on, stunned, at the ruined pasteboard and sopping pages. This was his favorite poetry tome. Where would he find another edition of Mother Goose's Nursery Rhymes with such lovely illustrations. Tears ran freely down his face, one small sob escaped his trembling lips. In anger, horror, anguish, and one last act of hostility, he flung the book from its watery place of demise. It flew with all the force of this virile man's anger and landed 2.137 feet from the edge of the tub.

Tell: Rolf was happy the mirror on the door (10 feet distant) didn't break

[aside] Sorry for all the metric people, but you have to convert for yourselves. [/aside]
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on May 25, 2008, 09:31:35 AM
Rolf stood on the mat admiring himself in the full length mirror on the bathroom door. The flung book had splatted the bottom of the mirror with specs of papier mache but bar that, thankfully no harm done.

"What a body," he said, as he gave his nipples a double tweak. He grabbed hold of his swollen throbbing stump and  ... re-attached his false leg.

Few people knew that Rolf was a monopede. He'd lost his left leg as a young child when it had been bitten off by his nurse Ms Jones. Jones was Welsh and a bit of a fruit loop and one day in August 1964 she became confused and thinking poor Rolf was an hors doeuvre, she ate his leg from foot to thigh. She was instantly dismissed of course; but the damage was done by then and Rolf has been hopping mad about the incident ever since.

Tell: Rolf thought there was too much tell and not enough show in the monopede story and that the writer should be severely admonished.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Don on May 25, 2008, 10:16:01 AM
Using the only weapon close at hand, Rolf beat the porpoise with a vigor that belied his fragile frame.  Unfortunately, the roll of toilet paper soon met the same fate as his book of poetry.  How can this be happening, Rolf thought.  How could I have missed the fact that a porpoise was in the bath with me?  Inspired, Rolf removed his prosthesis and continued the assault.  Swimming frantically, the porpoise realized that, short of a miracle, there would be no escape.

Tell: Citabria felt duly admonished. 
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on May 25, 2008, 10:30:05 AM
Julie Admonished (Cita's new P.A.) shook her head in disbelief as her boss explained that playing 'squeak piggy squeak' was definitely in her job description.

Tell: Julie soon got into the swing of things.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on May 28, 2008, 08:50:14 PM
Julie was plain sick and tired of Cita's constant sexual overtures and innuendos. It would be different if the man were some Adonis or at least able to function without knocking back a fistful of Viagra. What a job!

As Cita approached her desk, touched her shoulder softly, leaned down and blew hot stinky breath on the back of her neck just one more time, she leapt from her chair, drew back her right fist and landed one roundhouse punch to his soft flabby face. She took one more swing and heard the cartilage in his over-sized nose crack. Finally, she was getting the hang of this job.

Tell: Mary hated cleaning the office.  

 :-*   Just for you, Mark.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: StrayDog on June 08, 2008, 10:46:36 PM
Sitabria sat at his desk shuffling papers about ineffectively.

The door opened, a cart of cleaning supplies squeaked in. Mary came in behind and bent over to pick up a piece of litter.

Sitabria stared at her ass.    [BTW, this topic ain't suitable for kiddies, that means you Brixy, no corruption for you today.]

She looked up, "You were staring at my bum."

Sitabria smiled, "Yes, I was. What you gonna do about it?"


Tell: Mary sued Sitabria for sexual harassment.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on June 11, 2008, 08:11:09 AM
Mary, tired of the loathsome git pawing at her, called Horatio Snodgrasser, a famed lawyer. She made an appointment with the esteemed esquire. The day finally arrived and she dressed in a pewter gray suit, demure and yet fetching - or so she thought. She sailed into the office and Snodgrasser asked about her complaint. Mary almost wept as she described Cita's outrageous behaviors.

The lawyer's right eyebrow arched sharply over his hazel eye. He intoned, "Madam, you should be grateful for any attention given to yourself. You look like an aircraft carrier that has been ravaged by a hurricane or three. Really, you should just be grateful that any man would even notice you."

Tell: Mary found a new lawyer
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on June 16, 2008, 02:52:48 PM
She was mucking out the pig sty, and there he was with the other turds. There was a thin string with a hoop attached to it trailing from his back. Mary pulled the string.

"Have you had an accident at work?" the turd asked.

Mary pulled the string again.

"No win no fee! Guaranteed!!" the turd squawked.

TELL: Mary decided that sexual harassment at work was preferable to dealing with shyster lawyers.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: StrayDog on June 16, 2008, 03:00:50 PM
Mary rang the bell. The door was opened by a talented, handsome, young English hobbit...


Tell: Rolf went to the carnival with Doris.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on June 18, 2008, 02:25:05 AM
"I can't see a thing," Rolf whined.

"That's the idea," said Doris as she tightened the blindfold. "The doctor said you could only come to Rio provided you didn't get over exited."

Rolf clutched at Doris's arm and stumbled along the pavement. He stood on something squishy and foul smelling -- most likely a French tourist.

Tell: Doris hated Brazil and wished she was back home in Bognor Regis.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on June 18, 2008, 06:03:07 AM
Doris peered around and noticed that her tweeds and boxy heeled shoes were simply out of place in the godforsaken country. There was nothing but surgically enhanced, scantily clad women gyrating in the streets wearing not much more than 4.5-inch spike heels and feathers. And they didn't even have the courtesy to speak English. What had ever induced her to come here?

Tell: Matilda came waltzing past.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on June 19, 2008, 02:05:28 PM
As the sun set over Rio young Rolf sat in the gutter fingering his didgeridoo. The air was filled with the rhythm of the samba and bronzed bouncing breasts were as common as a posh scouse bird.

A tear tricked down Rolf's swarthy cheek as he remembered the wonderful carnivals back home in Perth. "Tie me kangaroo down sport," he mumbled before giving his instrument a tentative blow.

Then in his minds eye he saw her; his three-legged sister Matilda dancing along beside a float advertising sheep dip -- a quart of larger in one hand, a tube of shark repellent in the other. Poor poor three-legged Matilda. Why oh why had she decided to become a jockey?

Tell: Ollie was ashamed of his juggling addiction.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on July 24, 2008, 03:24:54 AM
The door slammed. Ollie stood in the hall holding his breath and listening to the sexy librarian's high heels clip clopping down the stone path as she rushed for the number 9 bus. The gate hinges whined, there was a clunk-click as the latch impersonated Jimmy Saville, then at last he was free.

The young hobbit rushed from room to room, drawing curtains as he went and ending up in the drawing room, panting with excitement. He stood for a moment listening, nose twitching, ears straining: no one must know! Not a sound. He tiptoed across to the old oak wardrobe, reached inside and pulled out his juggling eggs: four beautifully painted goose eggs. On each egg was painted the face of one of his imaginary friends: the hairy gypsy, the talking dolphin, the horned duck of hell, and best of all, the vanishing lord (Sir Nigel of Wigan).

Seconds later the eggs tumbled through the air and Ollie's hands fluttered from side to side in a blur. His grin broadened, he relaxed, began humming Stairway to Heaven, started to ... But you will never know. The secret will not be revealed in case it frightens children, disgusts old ladies, and gives budding writers the idea that the one true path to showing rather than telling is juggling whilst [REMOVED].

TELL: Citabria was concerned for his missing friend Sir Nigel Brown-Spaniel.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: StrayDog on July 24, 2008, 03:29:57 AM
The talking egg-dolphin rose and fell in the steady beat, somersaulting across the drawing room.
Then the four tumbling eggs became three tumbling eggs, "Not again," said the egg-dolphin,
"that b****** always disappears when Ollie juggles."

Tell: Sir Nigel Brown-Egg-Spaniel was dining with Agent Diaper.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on July 24, 2008, 03:46:21 AM
"YUM! I love bready soldiers," said Diaper as he dunked a finger of Mothers' Pride into Sir Nigel's yolky brain.

Tell: An agent's lot is not a nappy one.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on July 24, 2008, 02:38:10 PM
The double secret agent, Mr. Spy yawned. He was dead tired in the middle of the afternoon since he had been out spying on his superior's predilections all the previous night.

The sign above the aqua cooler proclaimed "No Siestas" and so he poured himself another coffee, scratched here and there, and yawned. Again and again.

Tell: American and English are two different languages.  
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Amie on July 24, 2008, 03:09:15 PM
The group of English girls were keen to know who had asked their American friend out on a date.

"He's jest aroun' the' corner," drawled Bobby Jo. "He's the one wearin' red pants an' black suspenders."

"Kinky," Phyllida Withington-Smythe observed dispassionately. Her compatriots were less certain however. "I think we need an interpreter," proferred Margaret Beesbody.

Not one of them laughed at what was undoubtedly a very funny joke.

(footnote: UK pants = US underwear; UK suspenders = US garter belt)


Tell: Not one of them laughed at what was undoubtedly a very funny joke.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on July 25, 2008, 01:07:30 PM
Mark X tapped the mic: click, click, click. "What is black and white and red all over?"

A man at the back coughed.

"Come on, get in the spirit," shouted Mark X.

Silence.

"OK Ill tell you: A nun that has over tightened her celise and severed her femoral artery."

Silence.

"I paid good money for that joke now laugh you miserable old buggers! Tell you what; this will be the last time I play the MWC summer ball. If you are just going to sit there scribbling in your silly little notebooks, I'm off! There's more to life than writing you know!!" With that Mark X thundered off the stage and headed for the bar.

"Gyppo? Has wanker got a Kay in it?" asked a little voice from the shadows.

Tell: There's more to life than writing you know.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on July 30, 2008, 05:31:27 PM
Gertrude pushed her heavy-framed glasses back up her over-sized nose. Her bloodshot eyes ached but she persevered with her computer pounding out word after laborious word, bleeding through her fingertips and appearing on the screen. She had been at this for days now and all she had to show for it was three paragraphs. They weren't even well written. She longed for release.

Samantha's head popped into the cubicle. The perky voice called, "Are you almost finished yet?" And then the disembodied head moved off down the corridor.

Gertrude would never be finished. Sammie's list of "Things To Do" simply kept growing. If Sammie would do her own work ... but she had parties to attend, openings in which to be gala, and boyfriends to boink.

Tell: Gertrude had never boinked.  
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on July 30, 2008, 05:48:16 PM
"I'm sorry Gertie," said Dr Fishfork, "I'm afraid it has scabbed over from lack of use."

Tell: Dr Fishfork was a troubled man.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Paper tiger on August 03, 2008, 09:51:54 AM
"Goddam it," Dr. Fishfork said as he stode over the office floor.

"No more," he said and delivered a straight right, followed by a mighty head butt smack in the middle of the plate glass window.

The sound of jaws dropping from the office workers and the rush of wind were the only noises as the Doctor pulled himself from the floor walked back a few paces then running forward, threw himself feet first out of the hole.

"Goodbye cruel world," he yelled, his voice getting fainter as he fell.

Tell: She wondered if the botox smile would become less twisted as she grew older.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on August 03, 2008, 12:08:46 PM
"Ahrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr a monster. Keep it away from me Mummy!" the brat screamed, pointing at Gloria Muffplatter's botox pickled face.

Gloria promptly placed the bag back over her head and stared out at the world though the two little eye slits. Perhaps 3 years after the operation was too soon? At least people were no longer vomiting when they saw her -- that was progress surely?

What was it Dr Stabber had said? You may be a hideous old trout, but cosmetic surgery can turn you into a slightly less hideous old trout. It just takes money and time. She clung to that memory like a rich bloke clinging to the concept that hot babes really do fancy fat, balding, perverts.

Tell: It is easy to ridicule the ugly supper-rich when you are young, gifted, and flat (abs).

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on August 12, 2008, 08:54:51 PM
News Item from AP bulletin wires: Prague Ritz, the young and un-talented socialite was arrested last night after she was charged with assault and battery. She had been drinking heavily in a British pub and was affronted when some ugly-ass cretin with the unlikely name of Citabria made a pass at her. After belittling the creature, she turned on him and slapped him across his acne pitted and scarred face, knocking him into the bar. He landed at her feet and instead of being ashamed or apologetic, he peered up the heiresses skirt, noticed she was sans knickers, and grabbed his cell phone from his pocket and snapped off three pictures before she kicked him upside the head.

The ensuing fight over the unfortunate Citabria's camera phone caused several thousand pounds damage to the pub. The cretin held on to his phone and sold the pictures to The Sun for an undisclosed amount, said to have been in excess of one million pounds.

Tell: It was a dark and stormy night.  
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: StrayDog on August 13, 2008, 02:26:56 AM
Sam coughed, heaving bloody vomit on the underbrush. The faint lights of Ambersham manor shone somewhere in front. He took off his wet shirt, "It'll be more useful as a bandage."

Tell: Sam burst into the dining room of the manor; wet, shirtless and bleeding. Then he died in the center of the room.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on August 13, 2008, 02:15:39 PM
Florence ladled not-mock-turtle soup into Sir Nigel's bowl. "Should I be putting a bowl in the oven for young Sam sire?"

"No. Sod the little blighter. Give his share to the goat."

"Yarp."

With a loud crack the french windows flew open and Sam staggered in.

"Damn your hide lad, what's the meaning of this? How dare you rush in here bearing your nipples. There's women present."

"Oh don't shout at the poor lad sire. Lookey, he's as wet as a swan's scrotum. And he be bleeding from that massive gash right across his throat. And he's stopped breathing."

Sam fell to the floor, reached out towards his father. As he died a silver coin fell from his grasp.

Tell: Florence panicked.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on August 13, 2008, 10:12:19 PM
Florence broke into sobs, gasping for air like a beached fish, her mouth opening and closing on nothing. No sounds came forth until a strangled mewl rent the air. She looked adoringly at Sir Nigel, her boss and lover. She tried to speak and only gibberish came forth.

Flo began to move about the room, slowly at first and then building up a head of steam. She bounced from sideboard to dining chair and back to the kitchen doorway and then stood over the prostrate from of Sam. The tears dripped onto his already sodden head and she thought, "I wonder if that is the coin we stole from Snige's coin collection. He will be SO pissed."

Tell: Sir Nigel was ticked off.  
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on August 14, 2008, 01:45:10 PM
Nigel leapt to his feet and stood foaming at the mouth. "That's my sixpence!" he shouted, sending a light shower of spittle across the room towards Flo.

Tell: Flo wondered what she had ever seen in the man.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: StrayDog on August 16, 2008, 04:59:10 AM
"Hmm," she said as Sir Nigel tried to rip the sixpence from the corpse's hand, and then she left the room.

Tell: Sir Nigel continued to attempt to get the sixpence.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on August 16, 2008, 08:57:04 AM
Sir Nigel scratched his head. Why was it that a coin that had fallen from Sam's grasp as he died, was now firmly gripped in the boy's dead fist? There was something fishy about this situation and it was more than just Flo's custard. He grabbed the old silver nut cracker and began breaking Sam's knuckles.

Crack, crack, crack, then he had it. He held the coin up the light. Bollocks! It was a five centime piece.

Tell:Flo dithered.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: StrayDog on August 16, 2008, 09:01:05 AM
Flo picked up the phone, then put it back, then picked it up again and instantly put it back down.

"Sam's dead, you've got to call the police," she sobbed.

She mustered up all her will and picked up the receiver.

Tell: There was no dial tone.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on August 16, 2008, 10:22:36 AM
Flo placed the phone to her ear. Silence. She tapped the handset against the Aga a couple of times and listened again. Still nothing. Then she felt it. Warm breath on the back of her neck accompanied by the smell of turtle soup. She stiffened as Sir Nigel reached round and cupped her breast in his mittened hand. Oh no, it was Lurpak time again.

Nige was in love with Flo, yet at the same time deeply concerned that she had deceived him about the missing sixpence.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: StrayDog on August 16, 2008, 10:59:10 AM
"I have this pack of Lurpak," said Snige in his creepy little voice, "It's been breaking rocks in the hot sun. It fought the law and the law won. It's nice and melty. Tell me where my sixpence is or you're going to have a conjugal visit."

Tell: Flo really didn't know where the sixpence was.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on August 16, 2008, 11:06:05 AM
Flo reached into he apron pocket and her fingers closed around ... nothing but fluff. Crikey, where had the sixpence gone.

Flo bluffed her way out of trouble.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: StrayDog on August 16, 2008, 11:18:13 AM
"You'll have to master a series of complex puzzles to find your beloved sixpence," she said.

Snige let go, "You know I hate puzzles."

Tell: Snige went out in a strop.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on August 16, 2008, 12:21:27 PM
Sir Nigel tapped out a draft of white Columbian snuff onto the back of his hand, hoovered it up his left nostril and stormed off towards the library. "I'm going to go and write some limericks with Citabria," he called over his shoulder. "I may be some time."

Citabria was a positive influence in Sir Nigel's life.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: StrayDog on August 16, 2008, 12:23:16 PM
Quote
Citabria was a positive influence in Sir Nigel's life.
I'm sorry but no amount of artistic license is going to make this piece work.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on August 16, 2008, 12:33:20 PM
Sir Nigel was a 'poet' only in his own mind. He had no sense of art, so sense of rhythm, no sense of rhyme. Thank goodness he had a friend who was able to help with this endeavor, or even endeavour. Citabria, a well-known lyricist in his own time or may own mind - these things are difficult to translate because of accent differences - was willing to help the totally ineffective Snige. He did this for sole purpose of making fun of him at the local pub and slurping up the free brewskies.

Tell: Citabria walked into a bar.  
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Gyppo on August 16, 2008, 12:51:31 PM
"What the F...?" With a resounding Boing] Citabria fell to the ground, hit so hard that even the onlookers could see the multi-coloured flashes searing across his retina and the little cartoon blue-bird circling his bloodstained head.  Sir Nigel, lips twisting into a thin aristocratic sneer, opened his gloved hands and let the steel bar fall to the ground.

"Might is right."  Nudging it with one handmade brogue he spoke again.  "Lying sods told me it was stainless."

Tell:  Sir Nigel hadn't felt so good in ages.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on August 16, 2008, 01:27:04 PM
Snige called to his butler. "Peeves send a telegram to Lady Frances So-Good. Fanny stop please come at once stop bring box man size tissues stop yours aye stop Sir Love Muffin stop."

Tell: Peeves was writing a his memoires.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: StrayDog on August 19, 2008, 09:09:45 PM
Peeves scribbled down the message, then he noticed a badly ripped page on the floor.

"What's this?"

He picked it up, a short piece of literature [or so he believed] about Snige's illicit affair with Fanny So-Good.

"I can't believe that Sir Nigel, tearing up a page of my memoirs."

Then he changed the name on the telegram to Miss Saggy Wainthrop.

Tell: Sir Nigel's evening with Miss Saggy Wainthrop went rather badly.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on August 20, 2008, 02:05:16 AM
"Stop. Stop! I said suck not blow you stupid woman."

"Sorry. I don't think I'm ever going to get the hang of this," said Saggy.

Sir Nigel looked across to his butler. "Peeves, you show her how it's done."

"Must I sir?"

"Yes you damn well must you insolent scoundrel. Now show Saggy the proper way to smoke a hookah."

Tell: Sir Nigel was not as cold hearted as he appeared.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: StrayDog on August 22, 2008, 10:08:09 PM
"It's Blackheart not Coldheart, you silly wench," shouted Sir Nigel Blackheart.
http://stores.lulu.com/store.php?fAcctID=773603

Tell: Citabria, noticing thatollie's advert for Sir Nigel's book, decided to advertise The Station.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on August 27, 2008, 09:59:24 AM
"My wife would like a tattoo please," Sir Nigel bellowed at the painted man.

"I'll be with you shortly sir. I just need to finish writing http://books.lulu.com/content/1710161 on thatollie's forehead."

Sir Nigel scrutinised the work in progress. "Heh, I'm in that book you know? Station Shorts; it's the finest anthology of short stories since ... well ever."

Tell: Sir Nigel wondered about a tattoo for himself.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: StrayDog on August 28, 2008, 03:42:16 AM
Sir Nigel watched as an inky second skin enveloped Donna's body, accentuating all her good qualities.

Tell: He was a dark and stormy knight.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on September 10, 2008, 09:31:25 AM
Sir Arthur the Flatulent (Keeper of the Queens Beans) wore jet black armour while he was jousting.

Tell: Is it safe?
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on September 10, 2008, 11:39:46 AM
While away at the fields and defending his and the Queen's honour, the Beans were locked away in the vault belonging to the Flatulent family for lo these six centuries. The lock was ancient, but Sir Arthur knew it was secure because only his wife had the combination.

Tell: Lady Flatulent was on the take.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on September 13, 2008, 03:10:59 PM
Lady Flatulent blocked the door from the nursery. "Ok you little bastard hand over your pocket money."

"But mother, I was saving for some new books of poetry."

"Likely story. Now hand over that cash your father gave you or I'll be forced to tell him you've been stealing his stuff and feeing it to your granny."

Tell: Granny Flatulent had the munchies.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: spindle on September 16, 2008, 08:04:19 AM
Having hoovered up the last of the cucumber sandwiches, Granny Flatulent took out her teeth and rinsed them in her mineral water. Lady Flatulent eyed the crystal ashtray and ventured a delicate sniff before asking
"What have you been smoking mother?"

Next: Sir Nigel is confused
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on September 16, 2008, 08:22:08 AM
Sir Nigel, having been out of the spotlight for so long, blinked rapidly as it was once again cast in his direction. He was bedazzled by the light and slowly shook his head to clear the tiny wisps of daydream still clinging to his subconscious. Nigel slowly scanned the room and then let out a tiny belch, covered his mouth slowly with his left hand, and peered around the room to see if faux pas had been observed.

Tell: No one even noticed Sir Nigel
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on September 16, 2008, 03:09:58 PM
Sir Nigel lay in the hedgerow, his kilt rucked up round his waist, a hedgehog nibbling his exposed dirk. He may have been dead: no one stopped to look.

Tell: Rolf was worried.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: StrayDog on September 17, 2008, 12:12:27 AM
Snige paced the room, and walked into the wall.

Tell: Snige had broken his nose.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on September 17, 2008, 11:38:52 AM
"What's happened to your nose Nige?" Rolf asked.

"I broke it when Daphne closed her legs too quickly. It's bloody saw actually Rolf."

"I warned you it would all end in tears. You will never make an ice-dance champion so long as you live."

Tell: Nigel yearned for fame and adoration.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on September 19, 2008, 10:55:08 PM
Nigel dressed in second-hand slacks and shirt with frayed cuffs and collar, watched as his best friend, Rupert Snigglebottom, once again took first place in the (not to mention the prize money) in the local football pool. All Nigel wanted was to be like Rupert: successful, adored, famous, rich. Instead, he wasn't any of that.

"Oh dear me," mummbled Nigel, "to be able to tell one team from another. Even if I could manage to remember who last won the Ashes."

Tell: Nigel knew nothing about sports.  


Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Ivy on September 19, 2008, 11:07:31 PM
Nigel rubbed his eyes and moved away from his computer.  The joy of programming was that a five minute fix had to follow a ten minute search to figure out what to fix.  He went to get a cup of coffee. 

Rupert called a greeting and he turned.

"What are you doing here so late?  Isn't tonight Monday?"  Nigel asked.

Rupert raised his eyebrows and nodded.  "That's usually the first day of the work week."

Nigel frowned.  "And isn't it your policy to never miss Monday night football?"

"The season ended two weeks ago?  You know?  Superbowl Sunday."

"Oh.  Hey, can you take a look at something for me?  I can't seem to figure out what's going on."


Tell:  Rupert is triskadecaphobic. 
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on September 20, 2008, 03:45:57 AM
Mrs Rupert was pouting. "Listen, it is perfectly okay for a married couple to engage in a little sixty-nine in the comfort of their own kitchen."

"I just can't do it my love."

Mrs R began to blub. "Why? Why Rupert? I've had a trim and everything."

"It's not that dear. It's just ... just ... well you know ... it's divisible by THAT number."

"What number?"

Rupert began to tremble. "Thu ... thu ... thirteen.

"No it isn't. Your maths is hopeless Rupert."

Tell: Rupert tried to think of another excuse.



Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: StrayDog on September 21, 2008, 12:37:51 PM
"Erm," stammered Ruprecht, " I think I left the lights of my car on."

Tell: Mrs Ruprecht reminded him that they'd sold the car. So he made another excuse.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on September 22, 2008, 08:24:06 AM
"You can take off those driving gloves -- we sold the car remember? On second thoughts, you look rather sexy. Now take off your wellies and let's get at it."

Ruprecht bolted. "I have to go and feed the ferrets," he yelled as he ran from the kitchen.

Tell: Mrs R decided R was a dirty rotten scoundrel.



Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Kate B on September 24, 2008, 08:15:36 PM
Mrs R was livid. The scoundrel was always making excuses not to melt her happy flaps, but he always expected her to go down on her arthritic knees to puff the pink whistle. Well the rotten bugger was in for a shock. He was just about to discover that his precious ferrets were in the stew.

Tell: Ruprecht was horrified.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: StrayDog on September 24, 2008, 09:05:05 PM
Ruprecht brought the soup spoon to his lips and took a long gulp. A searing pain ran from gum to brain, "Ah, there's something stuck in there."

He rooted about with his finger and pulled out a piece of ferret claw painted pink, "Rowena, noooooooooooooooooooooo."

Tell: Rolf came round for no reason whatsoever.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Kate B on September 24, 2008, 09:09:20 PM
Rolf just happened to pop his head around the door and got a faceful of ferret hotpot.

Mrs R froze in horror. "What do you want Rolf" she stammered?

"Nothing" said Rolf "uness there's some spare food going"......


Tell: Rolf admits he swapped the ferrets for large guinea pigs.


Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: StrayDog on September 24, 2008, 09:12:24 PM
"You see I have a fondness for guinea pig."

"They're not guinea pigs, they're or were ferrets. Beautiful ferrets too," said Ruprecht.

"You didn't eat no ferret man, since they're here," he pulled a sack from behind his back and procured Ruprecht's ferrets from inside.

"But how?" Asked Mrs R in a vile hoarse whisper.

Tell: Rolf explained the whole thing.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Kate B on September 24, 2008, 09:19:23 PM
Rolf explained how, over the course of the last couple of weeks, he had been spying on Mrs R (as she was having her 3 times a week top and tail session with the local butcher right here on the kitchen table) and overheard her telling said butcher that if Ruprecht refused once more to service her pigs cheeks she would boil his ferrets. The butcher suggested a nice recipie (which Rolf couldnt quite catch as the voice was a bit muffled).

"So you saved them", said Ruprecht

Tell: Rolf admits his feelings for Ruprecht
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: StrayDog on September 24, 2008, 09:56:41 PM
"Well old chap... erm... I had to really... because... well, you're a top geezer."


Tell: Patti didn't understand the phrase "top geezer"
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Kate B on September 24, 2008, 10:05:24 PM
Patti ( a random character whom I am unaware of) totally misread the situation. Being slightly deaf she thought she heared Rolf say "You're a tall Gay Sir."

On hearing (or rather not hearing) this news, her Fundamentalist Christian morals were much offended and she beat the men to death with a crucifix.

Tell: It all turns out to be a bad dream (primarily so I don't get grief from the PC police)  8)
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: StrayDog on September 24, 2008, 10:10:03 PM
Rolf hit the ground with a thud, " Ow, wait, why am I saying ow, I was just beaten to death with a Crucifix. I'm alive."

Tell: Rolf was so pleased that he was alive.

Patti ( a random character whom I am unaware of) totally misread the situation. Being slightly deaf she thought she heared Rolf say "You're a tall Gay Sir."

On hearing (or rather not hearing) this news, her Fundamentalist Christian morals were much offended and she beat the men to death with a crucifix.

Tell: It all turns out to be a bad dream (primarily so I don't get grief from the PC police)  8)
Patti is a fundamentalist Christian moderator, who occasionally posts on this topic.
And this made me laugh so much.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Kate B on September 24, 2008, 10:11:41 PM
 :o Please tell me you are joking!!!
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: StrayDog on September 24, 2008, 10:14:43 PM
http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=11364.msg209326#msg209326

and by the way

Tell: Rolf was so pleased that he was alive.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Kate B on September 24, 2008, 10:25:16 PM
Rolf was so pleased to be alive that he decided that he was gay after all. A fantastic TV career soon followed, then his shock celebrity wedding to Simon Cowell rocketed him into superstardom. Ruprecht (formerly Rupert) and Nigel looked gorgeous in their turquoise bridesmaid gowns.



Tell: Some unexpected guests showed up at the wedding
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: StrayDog on September 24, 2008, 10:28:33 PM
Patti, in her bestest Misery Halloween costume, strode down the alter with intent to kill. But everybody decided that it would be a downer, so they locked her in a cage and threw canapes at her.

Tell: This made everyone happy.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Kate B on September 24, 2008, 10:34:20 PM
The canape fight was wonderful. It made everyone happy, not least the butcher who was being fellated at the back of the church by a rather drunken Nigel.

However the atmosphere was spoilt somewhat by a cruel joker who had tied the ferrets to the back of the wedding car.



Tell: Patti escaped and was abducted by aliens
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: StrayDog on September 24, 2008, 10:45:21 PM
Sat on a cool, metallic chair, surrounded by lazy writing, Patti read and read and read but the authors these aliens had plagiarised had been awful.

Tell: the aliens were so cruel.
(but we've established that already.)
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Kate B on September 24, 2008, 10:55:05 PM
The aliens were very cruel. However Patti was not to be defeated. She had a secret weapon. When the aliens were distracted she pulled out her Star Trek walkie talkie thingy. Suddenly she was beamed onto the set of Eastenders. Phil Mitchell was just abouet to "sort er ahht" when his bald head was popped like a boil by the ray of a photon gun.

"Thanks Granny Flatulence" said Patti.



Tell: Patti and Granny escape the madness of Soapland
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: StrayDog on September 24, 2008, 11:01:06 PM
Through the twisted portal Nana Flatulence and Patti Chickchick twirled like unpracticed ballerinas. It took them to The (mystical) Sitcom Plains, their ultra-super-duper-insert_cheesy_phrase#4 weapons were taken away by the farce, a bizarre spoof of something more popular but only this one involves laughter.

Tell: (In true Dickensian chapter title style) a post in which the replier details the adventures of Patti and Granny on The Sitcom Plains.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on September 25, 2008, 04:41:34 PM
Patti still reads this sometimes.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on September 25, 2008, 06:14:16 PM
Tell: Patti still reads this sometimes.

She pulled on her favorite winter bloomers and settled down in front of the PC. Right, let's have a look at Show versus Tell and see what the handsome Mr Citabria has been up to.

Tell: Did he have a smart answer for everything?
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on September 25, 2008, 06:36:55 PM
The suave, debonair, dashing, handsome dolphin came up with yet another bon mot. It rolled off his tongue like ... well, like water off a duck's back. It was so routine, so natural, that the dolphin was just expected to behave in this stellar manner. It was, as always, lovely to behold.

Tell: The world can be a painful place.  
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on September 26, 2008, 02:57:57 AM
All was quite on the space station.

Buzz and Nelly gazed at the Earth through the portal. "I'm getting my arse waxed when we get home," Buzz said apropos of Nelly's every growing tash.

Tell: Unwanted hair is considered a menace in certain "so called" civilized societies.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: ma100 on October 17, 2008, 11:18:05 AM
"Argh!That hurts," he said.
"One cannot go in for the Mr Universe competition looking like a gorilla," she said, applying the next wax strip."Pride feels no pain. Rip.

Tell: What does he do next?
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on October 17, 2008, 11:26:10 AM
Beryl became so excited she started to pant like a an Eskimo in a sauna. "Tell me, tell me, what does he do next?"

Tell: Geoff was tardy.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: ma100 on October 17, 2008, 11:46:16 AM
Geoff slid his arm around Beryl's waist and pulled her close to the treatment bed. "Come here hot stuff."

Beryl slapped his burning chest,"I like inflicting pain honey, but I don't give extras. Now how about a nice Brazillian."

"Gerroff I've changed my mind."

Beryl is disappoined

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on October 17, 2008, 01:15:23 PM
When Beryl heard the news her mood deflated like a space hopper at a drawing pin convention.

Tell: She soon went from disappointment to strop.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on October 29, 2008, 03:53:51 PM
"If you're not going to take this seriously then I'mgoingtobsgkjfbksb."

Tell: The Hobbit returned.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on October 29, 2008, 05:17:54 PM
Slaughter the fatted Orc, Big-Feet is home.

Tell: No one liked the word slaughter
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on October 30, 2008, 12:33:37 AM
"Are you saying my calves are fatted?" She inquired with the grace of a leopard in heat.

"No, I said to slaughter the fatted Orc," he said.

"That's such a vulgar word."

"I'm in trouble aren't I?" He replied.

Tell: He was in trouble.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Sarlacc83 on October 31, 2008, 02:22:45 PM
The three ropes unwound from their knots, and there were a thousand feet to pass through on top of the Empire State building on a summer's night.

Tell: He found wine drinkers pretentious.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on October 31, 2008, 02:31:46 PM
They sat in the corner, sniffing at their glass and sipping gently, swirling it over their taste buds.

"Just drink the stuff, you ponce," he said and knocked back his glass of vodka.

Tell: It was almost time for his bath.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Sarlacc83 on October 31, 2008, 05:59:01 PM
Jimmy toddled, naked, into his closet, dragging a towel behind him. His mother, arms soaked in soap and water, followed, yelling, "Get back here."

Tell: The jack o' lantern frightened the three children.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on October 31, 2008, 06:10:31 PM
It's huge, jagged eyes glowed before us. The light flew out in all directions. Inside the house someone cackled, we ran.

Tell: Halloween is almost over.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 02, 2008, 03:07:51 PM
Sir Nigel was exhausted. He'd spent most of the evening throwing buckets of pig slurry over itinerant trick-or-treaters and now he was ready for a glass of Chablis and a pickled walnut.

The pigman wondered where his slurry had gone.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 16, 2008, 10:03:49 AM
Dylan picked up his guitar and strummed has he walked across the yard. Two bars of C, then one bar of F followed by one bar in G.

Dobbin leant out through his stable door and swung his head in time with the music. Dylan smiled at the old nag and began to sing: "Where has all me slurry gone? Long time passin'. Where has all me slurry gone? Long time ago."

A trio of goats scampered round the yard bleating out the refrain.

Tell: That's no way to run a farm.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on November 21, 2008, 06:09:53 PM
George Orwell had his pigs running the show. They ran the whole farm into oblivion. And it wasn't even 1984.

Tell: Some people are more equal than others.  
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 23, 2008, 12:25:58 PM
Right listen up people. We are going to split into two groups. I want some people on my left and the others on my right. Move it now! Okay, you lot on my left, split again into two factions of three. And the others, you split into one faction of three and one faction of two. Stop gawping and get on with it!

It is not easy to communicate what you want.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 09, 2008, 10:23:55 PM
Dylan Di Bardi stared at Sylvia's heaving chest and stammer out, "De secs vance."

She slapped him.

This knocked the pickled walnut from his throat, "Thank you dear, what I wanted to say is the esophagus is blocked."

Tell: He was relieved to be retro.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 10, 2008, 07:20:31 AM
Dylan stared open mouthed as his would-be mugger rolled about on the floor giggling.

"No way man! No way can I rob a white dude wearing a lycra catsuit and sporting a gigantic afro hairdo. Here man, let me give you 10 bucks for a haircut."

Dylan was sanguine about the robbery.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 11, 2008, 11:27:33 AM
"Overall, I think my disguise as an idiot worked pretty well."

Tell: His disguise was too good.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 15, 2008, 06:32:19 PM
Rolf went to the party dressed as a nurse. He came home with a very sore bottom.

Tell: Dylan was terrified of hamsters.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 27, 2008, 08:12:57 AM
Dylan clutched the curtains to keep himself from fainting.

"What's wrong," said Billy, his son.

"There's a," Dylan began, "There's a..."

"A what?"

"A hamster in your room," he said.

Billy smirked to himself, then he went into his room.

"Don't, it'll eat you."

He came out carrying the hamster in his arms, "Wanna pet him?"

Dylan shrank back, "No."

Billy continued to walk towards him, "Let me live with mom, or he might decide to snuggle up in your bed tonight."

Tell: Wombats don't make good traveling companions.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 01, 2009, 03:06:12 PM
As Dylan drove his Dormobile to his holiday caravan in Skegness his two wombats slept quietly on the seat beside him. Both creatures continued to let out foul smelling farts for the duration of the journey. When he tried to rouse them with a stirring rendition of 'Ten Green Bottles' they attacked him so viciously he had to stop at a Little Chef to buy some plasters.

Tell: The waitress at the Little Chef was terrified by Dylan's strange appearance.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on January 02, 2009, 03:21:20 PM
Dylan smoothed back his hair and found his hand full of wombat guano, "Christ."

He went into the Little Chef and sat down.

"Excuse me si..." said the waitress before tailing off into silence.

Dylan threw a napkin filled with wombat shit on the floor, "Yes, I'd like some scrambled eggs please."

Later, she stepped around the now towering pile of dirty napkins with his scrambled eggs.

"Do you have any plasters?" He asked

Tell: Dylan was infected with an obscure wombat related disease.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 02, 2009, 04:58:49 PM
"I'm sorry to be the one that has to tell you Mr D'Vile, but I'm afraid you have wombat pox. Perhaps you should have considered using condoms -- instead of dried wombat skins I mean."

"How long have I got?"

"About four inches. But that's quite normal for this climate."

The patient hoped for a miracle cure.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on January 07, 2009, 10:20:52 AM
Turning and finding a more restful position on the toilet, Dylan considered what he had been told.  He'd never had much faith and had often despised the churches and monuments that his family and friends often donated much of their earnings to.  Yet, now he was faced with the inevitable and he found himself almost gagging on what he knew had to be done.

Exiting the tiny room and doing up the hospital gown as best he could from behind, he sought out the friendly undersexed new candystriper that had paid him a visit yesterday.  She looked as religious as they came, he figured, perhaps she could help.

At first the young girl smiled upon hearing his request and reason for his prayer.  The balding aged man before her wore a pentagram and was asking her to bring immediate relief into his life?  How to go about such a thing with direct opposition before her?

The young girl was perplexed by the request.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on January 12, 2009, 10:26:55 AM
"I want you to give me absolution," said Dylan.

"What?" She asked

Tell: Jim went to the post office.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Narnian Prince on January 13, 2009, 07:49:13 AM
Knowing that he'd be found out sooner or later, Jim elected to mail the contents of the package to the rightful owner.  He gazed lovingly at all the items that he'd snatched off the clothes lines during the past 6 months.  Carefully, with his last crayon breaking, he wrote out notes and mailing labels for the appropriate addresses.  Putting all the ladies underwear into his backpack, he set off down the road to the mailing office to  do his deed.  He prayed that he'd be forgiven.

Tell: Dylan was in a horrid state of mind.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on January 13, 2009, 01:39:32 PM
"Spiders, spiders everywhere," screamed Dylan.

Tell: Tony was a criminal
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Frogg on February 22, 2009, 08:28:21 PM
Gazing out from behind the prison bars, Tony lamented over his sorry state of affairs.

Tell: Crime is not the answer...
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: artalis on February 25, 2009, 09:54:08 AM
Dylan gazed out of his cell to the street below....he saw someone emerge from the shadows.
She paraded in knee high shiny platforms and a tattered fake fur before the bakery hatch door. The only sound as darkness broke away, was the clinking and shuffle of metal trays. The sweet smell of warm doughnuts engulfed her as she waited. Her tongue caressed the memory of sweeter delights.
"Do a trade?" she called to the baker boy as he slid a fat tray full of hot buns on the trolley to cool.
He continued without saying a word. The woman's naked pink skin above her boots had goosebumps as she stood on the frost covered pavement. Smack! she leaped over the counter in her six inch heels swiped a hot bun and slid on her bum across the counter top as she made her retreat.


Tell; He was confused by the news and all alone.


Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on February 26, 2009, 08:53:45 AM
He looked again for the car in the driveway, "She finished work hours ago, where's she gone?"

Tell: Dylan D'vile was craving marshmallows.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Frogg on February 26, 2009, 03:53:49 PM
Dylan stared at the campfire in the foot-well of his car and thought of the gooey delight of melting marshmallows.

Tell: Dylan was beginning to get worried.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on February 28, 2009, 07:54:33 AM
Dylan paced the room. His long, thin fingers ran once again through is already mussed hair. He went to the window and peered out. He sighed yet again and resumed his pacing.

Tell: Dylan missed his wombat.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: artalis on February 28, 2009, 02:41:17 PM
There was an empty space at the tree top, where his big eared furry friend used to sit. Dylan looked through his binoculars across the plain as he sat in his tree house. All clear for now. Tonight he would have to set more traps to catch the marauding lion, as his own sense of hearing and sight was not too good.


Tell:Dylan was ecstatic that he won all of them.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on March 29, 2009, 12:44:23 AM
Dylan snatched up Mark's last marble, "I won, I won, I won."

Tell: The bar was about to close.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on March 29, 2009, 04:54:42 AM
The landlord grasped the short rope dangling from the old brass bell and shook it vigorously: "Time ladies and gentlemen please! Don't you lot have homes to go to?" he hollered.

Cathy wobbled up to the bar. "Hang on there Bert," she slurred, "I'll have two bottles of Thunderbird and a packet of Pork Scratchings to carry out."

TELL: Pork Scratchings are inedible.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on March 30, 2009, 09:11:02 AM
Clive looked around and noticed dried scuffs in the dirt. The drought had been brutal with no rain in months now. Even the pig sty was dried up. And Clive was starving. Those scuffs made by the last two piglets may still carry a trace of the pork taste. But when Clive tried to harvest them, they turned to dust. Inedible dust. Instead, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the last can of SPAM luncheon meat. No, he wasn't that hungry yet.

TELL: Clive was an epicurean.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: flights_of_fantasy on March 30, 2009, 09:32:57 AM
Passing the lumpy black truffle over the finest section of his grater, Clive closed his eyes, savouring the aroma. The slivers of oak smoked salmon blended perfectly with his scrambled quails egg. "Now that's what I call a cooked breakfast!"



Tell: Clive liked cheese.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on March 30, 2009, 09:36:21 AM
"No Jeremy, don't bother washing your penis." Clive said.

Tell: Jeremy was rightly shocked  :o
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on March 30, 2009, 09:52:37 AM
"Clive, you're engaged to my sister! Remember?"

Tell: It was going to be a disaster.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: flights_of_fantasy on April 02, 2009, 04:00:14 AM
Clive whimpered as he stared at the scribbled note in the diary, willing it to change. His gaze flicked to the clock. Fifteen minutes to eight; too late to telephone anyone now. They'd all be on their way.

It was bad enough that they'd double booked the function room. He didn't want to imagine how the Hackney Hells Angels might react when the Tottenham Transvestites started to arrive.




Tell: Grandma Dora was double-jointed.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on April 02, 2009, 04:04:31 AM
Dora placed both ankles behind her neck and quickly secreted her pension book in the left leg of her bloomers.

Tell: Dora thought that was a good hiding place for her valuables.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on April 04, 2009, 08:15:41 PM
"No-one's gonna look there," Dora said to the astounded postman.

Tell: Karen sat in the restaurant eating peas.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on April 05, 2009, 04:51:59 AM
"My dear Karen, there are at least three petits pois in your beard, and the waiter is giving us strange looks" said Rolf.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on April 05, 2009, 06:03:43 AM
"My dear Karen, there are at least three petits pois in your beard, and the waiter is giving us strange looks" said Rolf.
You need to post a tell.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on April 05, 2009, 06:55:54 AM
Tell: Sigmund wrote the word custard in his diary [<-- that's not the tell, this is -->] and hoped for a better year.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on April 14, 2009, 12:11:36 AM
Custard, he began to write about his cat, then he looked over at it preening, then he closed the diary, "You're so boring."

"And you're Oscar Wilde," Custard replied.

"No I'm not, I'm Sigmund Freud."

"Happy new year."

"Same to you, let's hope this one's better than the last."

"It won't be for me, you're having me spayed next week."

Tell: Custard used a cunning trick to get out of being spayed.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on April 27, 2009, 09:57:23 PM
C'mon folks, we can't let this formerly popular game die.

Tell: Custard used a cunning trick to get out of being spayed.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on April 28, 2009, 02:17:31 AM
Custard sat for 15 hours on a block of ice before Rolf took him to the clinic.

Tell: Rolf decided to get himself spayed instead.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: ma100 on May 11, 2009, 05:31:58 PM
Rolf took another slug of whiskey and looked down.

"Well ol' chap, this time tomorrow it will all be over. Hic. I think perhaps twenty kids is enough though. Hic...hic.

Tell; Rolf changes his mind.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: sandyc on May 12, 2009, 07:17:43 AM
 Tell: Rolf walked through the door and returned to his seat.
 Show:  Anxiously watching the clock, Rolf waited for the bell to ring.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: DGSquared on September 30, 2009, 04:07:26 PM
Rolf wondered if being spayed would ruin his singing career and put an end to his womanizing.
 
Plugging his ears with his fingers, Rolf belted out the Benny Hill theme song.

Tell: DG still doesn't know how to play this game but she wants know what happens to Rolf.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on September 30, 2009, 06:25:34 PM
Deb dipped her toe into a pot of ink and drew a big X on the monitor. A static charge leapt from the screen and the tingle ran from her toe, up her calf, along her thigh and then buzzed about as if uncertain about how to proceed. Deb's eyes rolled and she whimpered: "Rolf! Oh Rolfie! Where are you now and what are you doing?"

Tell: Rolf wasn't sure if it was safe to use your cat as a tea-towel holder.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Jed Jones on September 30, 2009, 09:28:30 PM
"Now what are you trying to do? Don't even think about it."

Rolf hovered over him stretching out some rag with that shall-I-or-shan't-I look on his face. He might otherwise tolerate the human's weird antics, but he'd never forgiven Rolf for giving him a name so obscure that other cats couldn't even pronounce it.

Worse yet, the plonker had no sense of colour co-ordination: trying to dress a ginger cat in a red towel. He'd never live it down.


Tell: Accrington sprang up on to a high shelf, out of reach.     
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on October 02, 2009, 07:54:37 PM
Boing! "Time for bed," said Accrington.

Tell: Should he or shouldn't he change his name to Stanley?
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on October 05, 2009, 06:36:33 PM
Accrington stood over the name change papers, the left middle claw of his right paw poised over the ink bottle.

Tell: Allan the Penguin re-joined the game.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on October 06, 2009, 03:20:41 AM
Alan waddled onto the pitch and took his position in the scrum. "Engage!" shouted the ref and Alan placed a flipper on Martin Johnson's bum.

Tell: Rugby is a great game if you are a penguin.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: DGSquared on October 07, 2009, 12:12:16 AM
"No Sweat," thought Pompeii the pugilist Penguin . "I can out-waddle these chaps all day and still roll with the kicks!"

Tell: Penguins make hilarious play by play announcers.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on October 21, 2009, 05:00:39 PM
The two penguins (coincidently named Gray and Eric) sat on the ice flow arguing over what the silly woman in the funny hat had meant.

"It's probably some American cobblers," Gray said.

"Don't you put your tongue out at me you stinking scoundrel."

Gray waved Eric away with a flipper. "I didn't put my tongue out, I was just licking a bit off fish off my beak."

Eric turned and waddled off towards the South pole. "Whatever," he shouted over his shoulder.

Gray stuck his tongue out.

Tell: The penguins were pals really.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Jericho on October 21, 2009, 07:10:45 PM
Subconsciously absorbing every familiar nuance of Eric's waddle, Gray mentally replayed the exchange between the two, rubbing his beak with hilarity. Oh, Eric... such a good pal... Yes, a pal, such a good one, too, and with such shiny flippers, such a mischiveous glitter to his eye, and the luxurious texture of - Abruptly, Gray lowered himself on his stomach, skating after Eric. Eric, just his pal. Really.

Tell: Eric actually hated snow.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on October 25, 2009, 08:10:59 AM
Eric's snowman was perfect. It had a carrot nose, holly leaves for ears, and two dead slugs for eyes. Eric waddled right up to it so they were carrot to beak and hissed: "You think you are so smart don't you? You frozen git!"

The snowman said nothing.

Eric raised a flipper and slapped the snowman hard across the face. An eye-slug flew out of an icy snow-socket and went skimming across the ice-flow.

The snowman said nothing but the snow under his remaining slug began to melt and trickle down his cheek.

"Trying for the sympathy vote huh?" Eric screamed. He drew back his little stubby leg and kicked the snowman in a place where his snowballs would have been if he''d had any.

TELL: The snowman plotted his revenge.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: ScribeSeeker on October 26, 2009, 03:00:47 PM
Rivulets of water carved trenches in the snowman's face.  When the carrot loosed from the center of his face, he tore off his stovetop hat and slid down the hill to seek his revenge.

Show:  Janie cried when her dog Buster died.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on October 27, 2009, 08:01:13 PM
Janie peeled another onion and tossed it in the pan. Her eye (left only as the right was glass) streamed with tears. It always did when she made French onion soup. She smiled as she cooked and hummed along with Bubba as Ugly streamed out of the iPod and assaulted her ear (left only as the right was made of glass).

Meanwhile, in the garden, Buster the poodle chased a weasel into the wood-chipper.

TELL: Buster had no regrets.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: DGSquared on November 09, 2009, 04:15:48 AM
"I'm in Dog Heaven! For once, it doesn't matter that I'm surrounded by bitches." (female dogs)

Tell: Buster's attempt at opening a doghouse of ill-repute in Dog Heaven didn't work out.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 12, 2009, 04:03:17 PM
Jesus grabbed Buster by the collar and dragged him out into the yard. "Listen dog-breath, I run all the cat-houses in heaven and we don't need any doggy cat-houses."

"Woof".

Jesus let go of Buster and adopted a softer tone: "Good boy. Tell you what ... give me a kiss and we'll say no more about it."

TELL: Buster wished he hadn't put his tongue where he did.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on January 02, 2010, 04:57:04 PM
Buster sat in the doggy VD clinic's reception room.

"What are you here for?" A snooty pooble asked.

"My owner has AIDS, I read somewhere that you can get it from drinking out the toilet bowl."


Tell: Buster got busted having too much fun with the Collie from 4B.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on April 11, 2010, 10:13:26 AM
"Bad dog, get off of her. She's a thoroughbred." The owner of the Collie from 4B grabbed him by the collar and yanked him away from her dog.

Tell: There was a new cafe opening in town.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on April 11, 2010, 11:43:20 AM
As Rolf strolled down high street, on his way to see his solicitor at Mutley, Futwick & Skunk, he noticed a skip on the pavement outside Ye Olde Sexe Shoppe. The thing was overflowing with unwanted sex toys. He contemplated nicking a pack of Giant Knoblers, but before he could a van pulled up and two herberts jumped out and started unloading creates of cheep Yorkshire Tea.

"What's this place going to be next?" Rolf asked one of the herberts.

The bloke looked down at the create of tea in his hands. "Shoe shop," he said.

TELL: Later Rolf regretted not pilfering items from the skip.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on July 11, 2010, 09:34:55 PM
Later that day, there was a ring at Rolf's door.

"Hello," he said, as he opened it to two busty, young women. "How may I help you?"

"Hallo," said the bustier of the two. "Ve are East European travellers, our car break down. May ve use phone?"

"Of course," he replied.

Neither of them understood so he just nodded and stood aside waving them in.

They called a mechanic.

"Would you like a cup of tea?" He asked.

They did not understand. So he brought teacups and teabags from the kitchen, and then he shrugged.

"No kind sir," said the bustier traveller. "But if you haf sex toys we will show our appreciation for use of phone."

“Can’t you just do me?”

“No, ve no want touch you.”

Tell: It was a dark and stormy night.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on July 12, 2010, 09:20:42 AM
Before Rolf set off for the pub, he grabbed his sou'wester and a powerful torch.

Tell: He was stubborn and supercilious. 
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on July 12, 2010, 05:54:14 PM
"No," said Rolf in his nasal voice. "I shall not go to Witherthorpe's Event. His family are not true aristocrats."

"Darling," said his wife, "it's my brother's wedding."

Tell: The fox was quick.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on July 12, 2010, 06:18:10 PM
Before Gyppo could react, foxy stole his lunch.

Tell: Although sated he yearned for more.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on July 12, 2010, 06:23:24 PM
Foxy wolfed down the last sandwich from Gyppo's bag.

Two bears were walking through the forest. One of the boasted to his smaller companion, "See Boo-Boo I told you we'd be able to steal this pick-o-nick basket from Nick. Cause I'm smarter than the average bear."

Foxy crept along behind them with murderous intent.

Tell: Don discovered Yogi and Boo-Boo in the woods, huddled together after Foxy's non-lethal attack.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Don on July 12, 2010, 11:05:10 PM
"Smarter than the average bear, huh?" Don sneered at the ursine victims cowering before him.

"But we...I mean, I...well..."

"You're lucky you came out of it with just a shiner. This Foxy is a tough cookie. He could have sliced and diced you. Maybe the kid too."

Tell: Yogi could only learn by experience.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Gyppo on July 12, 2010, 11:54:35 PM
"Bugger!"  Yogi yanked his finger back out of the electric socket, gazing at his unnaturally curled fur and still shaking.  "That'll teach me."

Tell:  Yogi was not a happy bear
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on July 13, 2010, 12:03:02 AM
"I'm smarter than the average bear," said Yogi. "And as you all should know, intelligence does not equal happiness. I can't find a female bear who stimulates me both intellectually and emotionally, and this makes me a narcissist who derives his only joys in life from stealing pick-o-nick baskets and sexually abusing Boo-Boo."

Tell: Yogi was in court.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on July 13, 2010, 08:15:03 AM
Yogi couldn't help imagining the council for the defence wearing nothing but her wig, her gown and a pair of six-inch stilettos. He inched closer to the front of the dock in an attempt to conceal his latent tumescence. Judge Mental-Drooler banged his gavel. "You are charged with obscene use of a bear costume in a public place. How do you plead?"

Tell: Yogi pleaded.

 
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: utopianwar on July 14, 2010, 01:02:57 AM
Licking his lips Yogi said, "Hungry!" The judge looked at him with a glare. "Um, what was the question?"


Tell: Boo Boo Testifies.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on July 18, 2010, 07:50:11 PM
A hush fell upon the courtroom as Yogi's underage companion took the stand.

"Your name," said the judge.

"Boo-Boo," Boo-Boo replied.

"Your real name," the judge demanded.

"Billy Bob Thornton," Boo-Boo re-replied.

"Really, I had no idea you were Billy Bob Thornton."

"Yes sir," said Boo-Boo Thornton.

"What's Angelina Jolie like in the sack?"

Tell: A smart person thought of a way to get this game somewhere shinier.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on July 19, 2010, 03:20:07 PM
His tie was a perfect match for his suit: the pale lilac complemented the navy pinstripe to perfection. His brogues were so highly polished, they glinted in the sun as he strode along the path from the car park to his office. As he walked his brain fizzed: iPod app; show don't tell; wannabe writers; thousands of em; millionaire!

Tell: His boss thought it was a crap idea.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on August 01, 2010, 10:36:26 AM
"You fool, barely anyone plays Show versus Tell. Try an Association Plus App."

Tell: Dylan missed his pet Wombat.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Jenner8or on August 16, 2010, 02:27:51 PM
Dylan longed to see his scruffy wombat Sally again, who had disappeared weeks ago.  He missed how she would lay on his pillow beside him, snoring softly, smelling of wood chips, even if she did take up more of the pillow than he.

Tell: He looked around for his buddies.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on August 16, 2010, 09:22:21 PM
John stood on his tiptoes, looking over the crowd. He saw Pete's green mohawk by the sweet stall.

Tell: When Pete bumped into Sarah, his ex-girlfriend, he wished he hadn't gotten a mohawk.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Don on August 16, 2010, 10:41:06 PM
Rabbit scrunched his face, trying to read Ollie's chicken scratch. "Charge Ican? What the hell does that...oh, change icon. Damn. Ollie's gonna change his icon. Just as I was getting used to it around here. And look, he's written it in the August 18th box. Crap, that's tomorrow. I know this is wrong but..."

Tell: Ollie's daily planner was engulfed in flames.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on August 17, 2010, 04:42:34 AM
"Help. Help! My head's on fire."

Rolf gave Ollie a blast of of Halon, which put out the flames but also burnt the lining of his oesophagus. "What happened Big Man?"

Ollie retched and spat a big glob of something unpleasant into the spittoon by the cat's basket. "It was terrible. One of Gyppo's characters got into my head and started a bonfire."

Tell: Constance was engulfed in the spirit of whimsy.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on September 14, 2010, 06:33:42 PM
The Spirit of Whimsy sailed out of Portsmouth with a pleasant pitch and rolling motion. Constance, who had only been there to say goodbye to Snigel, ran out to the rails. "Oh no," she said, "I have to get off."

Snigel came out of the bar with a gin and tonic, "Mum, what are you still doing here."

"The boat left before I could get off."

"Oh well," said Harmony, Snigel's new bride, "What could possibly be bad about bringing your mother along on our honeymoon."

Tell: This lead to a lot of interesting things happening.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on September 17, 2010, 05:57:19 PM
By the time they reached St Helier, Sir Nigel was pregnant, Constance had become a pirate, and Constance's mother had joined the ranks of the cheerfully bifurcated. However, none of these things were shown on Big Brother and hence no one noticed.

Tell: He engaged in pleasures of the flesh.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Don on September 17, 2010, 09:20:42 PM
Sir Nigel gave birth to a novel idea, which itself was pregnant with possibilities. No longer able to cope, he took a boat to the island of Sark and ensconced himself in Le Moulin to contemplate his next move. Constance would need him, of course, but he couldn't afford to think about that now.

Tell: Constance hijacked the Jersey ferry.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on September 18, 2010, 04:20:43 AM
Constance held a sharpened knitting needle to her own throat: "Take me to St Peter Port or the bimbo gets it."

Tell: Captain Pugwash felt persecuted.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Don on September 18, 2010, 09:44:26 AM
"You can't get away with this, lady." It was the third time in a week that Captain Pugwash had been hijacked. "This is the Jersey ferry. They'll know something is wrong when we pull into Guernsey."

"Just drive," Constance said, tightening her grip on the knitting needle. With her free hand, she flipped open her cell and booked a room at La Fregate and made dinner reservations at Pier 17. "Should I make that for two, Captain? Would you care to join me?"

Tell: Pier 17 had done away with happy hour.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on September 18, 2010, 11:11:22 AM
Rolf stood at the door to Pier 17, reading the sign and absent-mindedly juggling his testicles as if they were an executive toy. MISERABLE HOUR, the sign read, ALL DRINKS DOUBLE PRICE.

Maude pushed his shoulder. "Come on Rolf, let's get in and get to the bar before the Americans eat all the free gherkins."

Rolf clenched his fist, realising too late that he was still gripping his balls.

"Why are you crying Rolf?"

Tell: Maude never could understand why men always had to play with themselves.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Don on September 18, 2010, 04:58:52 PM
Rolf and Maude were seated at the bar, mired in overpriced martinis when Constance and Captain Pugwash entered.

"We can't afford to wait for tomorrow afternoon's ferry, Maude," Constance overheard Rolf say. "We have to find a way to get off this damn island sooner."

"I have a boat," Constance offered. "We could leave in the morning."

"Even that may be to late," Rolf said, noticing the knitting needle she kept pressed to her neck but assuming it was a body piercing. "What about tonight? Could we leave tonight? We can pay."

"We'll need fuel," Constance said. "We can't get that until morning."

"I know where we can get fuel," Captain Pugwash said, "and we won't have to be paying for it."


Tell: Captain Pugwash had become a pirate.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on September 19, 2010, 04:55:38 AM
"I'm not sure if I should mention it," Rolf said to Captain Pugwash, sotto voce, "but there's parrot shite running down the back of your jacket."

Puggy stuck his hook into Rolf's lapel and pulled the man close. "Ahhr Rolf lad," Puggy said, sounding rather like Vienna,  "parrot guano is a turn on for the wenches, so it be."

Rolf yelped in pain and tried to push Puggy away. "Get off me you oaf. You have your peg leg on my loafer."

Maude gave Rolf a sharp look. "Rolf! Stop causing a scene."

Tell: There was a sexual chemistry between Rolf and Constance.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Don on September 20, 2010, 06:10:09 AM
Maude noticed the parrot poop on the back of the captain's jacket. "Oh, my dear captain, you must come up to my room so I can clean that for you."

"Well, I dunno," the captain replied, glancing at Rolf and Constance.

"Don't worry about those two," said Maude. "They'll be engaged for hours. Come along. I'll have you undressed...er, cleaned up in no time."


Tell: The captain's leg wasn't the only body part that was wooden.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on September 20, 2010, 08:12:36 AM
"I had no idea," Maude proclaimed, "that is was possible to make teeth from mahogany."

Pugwash laughed so hard he shat himself (just a pea-sized and quite firm pellet). "These teeth aren't wooden; they are made from the bones of dead Frenchmen. They only looks wooden coz they are stained with rum. Now, let me show you my wooden finger."

Tell: Maude thought she could smell something unpleasant.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Don on September 20, 2010, 05:00:39 PM
"What is that smell?" Maude asked no one in particular. "Well, Puggy dear, just let me close the French doors to the balcony and it won't bother us. Oh my, Puggy, come look at this. It appears a sewer line has broken in the street."

"Curse the luck," Pugwash cursed. "Now they'll find me treasure for sure...or not. We must be quick, Maude. Get the others while I get fuel for the boat and meet me at the dock. We can make Sark by daybreak.

"But Puggy, I'd have to pack and that could take hours and..."

"There's no time for that, woman. Do as you're told or we'll all swing from the yardarm."


Tell: Maude had no idea what a yardarm was but swinging sounded like fun.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on September 20, 2010, 06:36:04 PM
Maude scratched her head. "Let me get this straight, I have to engage in copious amounts of sex with men that have upper limbs of exactly 36 inches?" She rifled though her bag and pulled out a half gallon jar of lubricant. "Come on Puggy, before we miss all the action."

Tell: The butler did it.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: ma100 on September 20, 2010, 07:43:03 PM
"Good evening, Sir, Madam, If you would like to disrobe, I will make sure your things are taken care of." Baldcock bowed and held out a silver platter. "Please put your car keys on the tray."

"I have an Alfa Romeo, you don't think I'm going to hand them over." Puggy gasped.

"It's part of the game, you idiot, whatever girl picks them..." Maude plucked the keys from his pocket and dropped them on the tray with the others. "Come on get your kit off, I don't want sloppy seconds."

Baldcock stared ahead as they undressed and then opened the red door. "Follow the corridor until you hear the sound of giggling. Enjoy." He picked up their clothing and the tray of keys. At the front door he whistled. Twelve men came out of the bushes and ran over. "Choose your keys lads and make sure all plates are changed before morning. Oh and I'm having the Alfa." Baldcock piled the clothes on to the rest and set fire to them.



On the run




Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Don on September 21, 2010, 10:24:44 AM
"That orgy was fun, Pugsy, dear. What would you like to do now?"

"What a fool I've been," Captain Pugwash moaned. "That Baldcock guy was no butler. That was Millstrop from Revenue & Customs...I should have recognized him right away. He's been after my buried treasure for years. C'mon, Maude, we have to get out of here."

"Oh, dear, but we have no clothes."

"Here," said Pugwash, pulling down the drapes, "wrap this around you and make a toga. We'll have to walk, I'm afraid. The Alfa's gone but if I can stay ahead of Millstrop, I can buy a whole fleet of cars."


Tell: Italian car sales are projected to increase.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 21, 2010, 02:06:44 AM
"Ey Salvatore, is the new Ferrari going to be really cheap like they say in the news."

Salvatore hadn't seen Mario come into his cafe and was busy cleaning under the sink, "I think so, even Gyppo can afford one."

Tell: There was a good reason why Mario and Salvatore knew who Gyppo was.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 21, 2010, 05:31:36 AM
Gyppo stroked his pet goat and crooned. "Good boy, Dylan. We shall go for walkies and if you are a very good goatie we will pop in to see your uncle Salvatore and aunty Mario and they will give you a sugar lump."

Dylan felt trapped, disorientated, and confused.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Kurza on December 21, 2010, 07:16:41 AM

"If anyone should know why this man and this woman should not be joined in holy matrimomony let him speak now or forever hold his peace?"

The congregation remained silent.


Tell:The skydiver's parachute didn't open.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 21, 2010, 12:09:01 PM
Show: Splat!

Tell: The skydiver's wife fretted over the funeral arrangements.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on December 21, 2010, 01:23:48 PM
Maude looked at the beautiful silk lining to the brass casket and then remembered the gruesome mush out in the field.


Tell: It was two o'clock in the morning.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 21, 2010, 02:58:52 PM
The previous night he'd paid his fifty quid and booked Susan to come to his room at 2 am for a game of Mr Twinky. He was ready: smothered in peppermint oil and as taut as a scimitar. The door rattled. He held his breath and waited.

Tell: Susan was not so enthusiastic.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 21, 2010, 11:00:06 PM
She stood at the foot of the stairs, looking at anything but the stairs that she was about to ascend.

Tell: Someone else went into the room instead.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: 510bhan on December 22, 2010, 01:31:25 PM
Silence surrounded him, coals burned with sullen intensity though he was unaware of them in the darkness as his stiff body lay still, not a single muscle moved despite the growing heat that would normally make him twitch with discomfort.

Tell: His body was cremated
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 25, 2010, 10:10:49 AM
"I know what we do with this rotting corpse." Rolf said, dousing the cadaver with meths and reaching for his Zippo.

Tell: The soul of the cadaver cared not a jot.







Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: 510bhan on December 26, 2010, 03:49:06 PM
Carl looked round him, no one else was there and the room was empty except for a wilting monstera in a pot of dry compost shrinking from the sides of the container in the corner beside the unmanned reception desk.

Tell: Carl had picked up last year's diary by mistake.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: undeadpetals on December 28, 2010, 05:41:52 AM
Carl gaped and gasped upon reading January 1st, 2010 typed at the top of the first page. "Damn it!" He slammed his diary on the table.

Tell: Carl accidentally dropped his daughter's lucky pencil in the thrash.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 28, 2010, 07:27:19 AM
Carl scratched his arse with Miranda's pencil. There was a flee bite on his left cheek and the more he scratched, the worse it itched.

"DON'T do that Dad! That's my lucky 3B." Miranda screeched.

Carl gave one last, hard scratch, and the pencil snapped. The two pieces fell from his hands and tumbled down into the waste basket with a clatter.

"Bingo!" Carl pumped the air. "Now THAT is what I call a lucky pencil," he said as he reached for his wife's letter opener.

Tell: Miranda enjoyed training her pet flees.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Don on December 28, 2010, 02:35:57 PM
Flea training was only practice for Miranda. Training the three mutant wombats she kept in her room was much more fun. They were trained to attack whatever scent they were provided with. She waved the broken 3B pencil under their noses.

Tell: Miranda unleashed the wombats.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 28, 2010, 02:58:45 PM
Ah yes. Fleas.  :)

Dylan, Gyppo and Ollie strained at their leads. Miranda held tight. Wombat paws flailed and wombat claws scratched and then, when Dylan began to foam at the mouth, she released the catches. "Get him my lovelies. Tear the pencil breaking freak to shreds."

Tell: He anticipated his demise.



Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Kurza on December 31, 2010, 12:32:30 PM
Show:

James fiddled the ring in his pocket. The back of his throat pricked and he swallowed hard for relief, but none came. His heart was pounding so hard in his ears he was sure everyone nearby could hear it.

"James."

"What?" He asked confused, squinting ahead of him until the priest came into focus.

"The ring"


Tell: The morbidly obese man was refuse entry to the buffet.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: undeadpetals on January 03, 2011, 02:55:41 AM
Show:

"Oh, no! Not today! Anything but today when I really, really am hungry!" Seiji's expansive waistline wouldn't budge through the entrance of Kojima's Buffet. He turned sideways, stood on his toes, and tried again, but to no avail!  
"Seiji, what's wrong?" asked the manager with a sad gaze and smirk smeared on his face. "I am sorry, Seiji; it seems today is the day that you couldn't--"

"Wait, Mr. Kojima! Let us try grease oil, or some vegetable oil! I must eat the foods from the greatest buffet on Earth! Please, help me!" Seiji felt his own face scrunch into a pout.

The manager rubbed his forehead. "If you cannot fit through the front door, you had enough." He put his arms on either edge of the doorway and a foot on Seiji's stomach, and pushed him out. "Hope to see you fit...next week." The old manager winked, waved, and walked back inside the warm, flavorsome buffet.


Tell:

The baby hates his ten-year-old cousin chewing on his teething ring.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: 510bhan on January 03, 2011, 10:56:07 PM
Show:
Vernon was like a beaver since he had discovered his new front teeth could do far more damage than the old baby ones, especially as he had waited so long for them to erupt. He'd been teased at school for being a late developer and being cool was something ten-year olds held in high esteem. His mother had told him it was a dirty habit but Vernon couldn't help himself.

That afternoon, at Auntie Marie's while the adults chatted among themselves, Vernon gnawed on lego, gnashed at small toys and seized the teething ring from his baby cousin's mouth. "I'll show you how to do it," he said gleefully. Vernon inserted the pink plastic teething ring between his lips and promptly gnawed at it, grating his incisors back and forth.

"Wah! Wah! Wah!" The sound coming from the small creature in the baby bouncer was shrill. Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at the tiny mite. The wailing stopped, the adults resumed their conversation and Vernon began grating the plastic again. "Wah!"

Tell: The crop had failed and the family faced ruin.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 04, 2011, 08:23:47 AM
Wayne stood in the loft and looked at the devastation. Sharon had forgotten to put any money in the meter and his precious smoking herbs had all died from the frost. Before he could get down and give her a slap his mobile rang. The name Mad Cyril flashed on the display. Shit! Wayne's left leg started termbling.

Tell: Sharon was unrepentant.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: 510bhan on January 04, 2011, 09:03:39 AM
"Well, are you going to answer the fat bastard?" Sharon sneered, "He can sing for his money. I'm off to the sales, Next have a lovely pair of boots I've been after. Is there anything you want while I'm out?"


Tell: His subscription to Sky hadn't been renewed.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 09, 2011, 04:56:16 AM
"Listen, the money was taken from my account, so why have you cancelled my Sky subscription?" There was a pause as his voice was digitally encoded and transferred as a series of ones and zeros to a call centre on the other side of the Universe (well Dublin actually but it might as well have been Jupiter).

After a few seconds the agent replied: "Gibberish. Gibberish. Gibberish. Have a nice day."

Tell: All he really wanted was a pint of cider.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: 510bhan on January 09, 2011, 05:12:58 AM
Giles wandered into the new Gastro pub that looked strangely the same as it had when it was a bistro bar and before that as a traditional pub. The menus had changed and so had the bar staff. "Hello," said a bright voice with a slight Australian twang to it. Giles thought the new staff was an improvement, especially . . . 'Linda' he read from her badge pinned above her left breast. "Er. . ."
"We have several specials on today. The Manager's special is on all keg beers during lunch, there's a free glass of house wine with any of the dishes of the day - they're up on the blackboard near the servery and if you wanted a coffee instead that's okay."
"Oh, well, that's --"
"And we have a full range of refreshing bottled drinks alcoholic and non-alcoholic --"
"Could I have a Koppaberg please?"
"Would you like, pear, apple, mixed fruit, strawberry and lime or elderflower and lime?"
"Just the traditional brew will do thank you, the one made from apples and I'll have it in a pint glass if you don't mind - with plenty of ice."


Tell: Mike suspected his dog had worms.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 09, 2011, 05:53:00 AM
Sunday was the day Mike went fishing. This Sunday, however, was a problem: he had no worms. He scratched his head, then spotted Rex snoozing by the 2 bar electric death trap. Ping! A light went on in Mike's head. He grabbed one of Martha's yellow washing up gloves, stretched it over his pudgy hand, and lifted Rex's tail.

Tell: Rex was miffed and Martha was livid.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: 510bhan on January 09, 2011, 06:10:08 AM
The ignominy of having his tail lifted made Rex flatten his ears, show the whites of his eyes and bare his teeth as he snarled. Martha, who had a close relationship with her Marigolds adopted the same expression as Rex - except for the flattening of the ears, instead she lifted the small heater, ripping its plug from the wall, and threw it at Mike's head.



Tell: The police arrived at the scene of a reported domestic violence incident.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: GinaLeeJohns on January 09, 2011, 09:42:50 AM
The lump grew on Mike’s head, transforming his senses to dizzy and gay. He laughed out a loud “Ah ha,” and staggered a theatrical jaunt across the room. He armed himself with the extension of his manhood and began slashing the air with his fishing rod.

The cops drew their Glock 22’s and went into a squatty-sumo firing position. The more portly of the two squealed his commands. “Put yer weapon down. Put yer hands in the air.”

Mike’s left hand gracefully twirled above him while his right hand sliced whirs that gratified his loopy fantasy of being a “Three Musketeer.” He paused, only for a posing pirouette, and flicked his fishing sword once more, hooking Martha’s upper lip.



Tell~ In all the excitement, Rex humped the leg of a cop.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 09, 2011, 11:00:41 AM
It wasn't until Constable Brown-Hatter was on his way out of the room, that he noticed the globule of slime on his uniform trousers and the smug look on Rex's canine chops. He gripped  his truncheon, raised it above his head, and took a step towards the semi-tumescent hound.

I wouldn't do that if I was you," the dog said.

Tell: Then things got really weird.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: GinaLeeJohns on January 10, 2011, 06:57:05 AM
"Holy mother of hounds," the Constable muttered. His legs weakened and he dropped to the floor. Tears welled in his eyes, for the voice of the dog was all too familiar from his childhood. "Spark? No, no. It can't be. Pop said you were run down by a Turk on a Vespa."

Tell~ Martha went into shock.



Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 10, 2011, 07:37:56 AM
The fish hook had been removed and at first Martha failed to comprehend the full implications of the injury to her top lip. Then, as she peered at herself in the mirror, a little voice in her head whispered: you won't be able to wax and by the weekend you'll have a moustache that would shame a walrus. Noooooooo! Her legs turned to jelly, she became light headed, her bladder gave way and a trickle of golden rain trickled down into her Wellington boot.

"What's up with her?" Rex asked.

Tell: Her best friend offered a solution.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: 510bhan on January 10, 2011, 02:58:39 PM
Cecily had been watching in the background and knew now she had to come to Martha's aid. That's what friends were for after all. Martha was prone to histrionics so Cecily lifted the small phial of emergency smelling salts from her handbag, opened the lid and placed her thumb over the opening until she reached Martha's prostrate form. Cecily couldn't believe that Martha went so long between lip wax sessions. With a wince of her own, Cecily positioned the phial above the light covering of fuzz on Martha's top lip, removed her thumb from the phial opening and let the vapours rise to her friend's nostrils. They looked pretty hairy too, she thought.

Martha gasped within moments and soon came round.



Tell: Martha was always a drama queen.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 10, 2011, 05:04:05 PM
Martha stamped her foot. "Why do I always have to play Anne Boleyn?" she asked, as she flounced off stage left.

Tell: The room was filled with good cheer.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: 510bhan on January 10, 2011, 05:34:26 PM
As Martha flounced out of the room, Cecily, Rex, the policeman and Mike jumped up and applauded, crying, "Bravo, bravo, encore."

Rex was a strange dog and he went to the quaint, retro bar counter in the corner and fixed them all cocktails. Upon collecting their glasses, Constable Hatter-Brown suggested they toast Martha's wonderful exit. As one, they raised their drinks, quaffed the contents and Mike began singing.


Tell: The upstairs residents were pissed off by the noise.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 11, 2011, 02:21:53 AM
Harold put his stethoscope away and took a carver from the wooden knife block on the work surface. He tested the sharpness against his thumb, and headed for the flat's front door. "I've had enough of those twats downstairs," he said to his cat, Roger.

"Go get em, Harold," Roger hissed. "Especially that talking dog."

Tell: Roger was to be disappointed.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: undeadpetals on January 11, 2011, 07:51:40 AM
Winter had already smothered her house with its filmy, cold draping but Little Roger could make out the same ripened apple resting against the window of her bedroom. He knocked on the door, imaging her rosy cheeks pulled up by a smile, but her mother opened it. She welcomed him with a quick, shallow greeting. "She's still has the flu, Roger. Please come by next week." The door was shut and he looked up at the apple against her window. Roger quickly turned around and bit the inside of his lips. He sighed and mumbled, "Okay."


Tell: She felt very sick.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 11, 2011, 09:11:13 AM
He'd gagged her with a dead sparrow he'd found behind the water tank. The bird was rotten, and maggot ridden, and she could feel the maggots squirming against her tongue and palette. She didn't think things could get much worse, but then one of the maggots wiggled into her throat.

Tell: He wondered if she still loved him.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: kalinda001 on January 15, 2011, 04:30:54 PM
She brushed her fingers through his hair, but was it because she found a strand of grey and was about to yank it out or did it mean something? He could never tell these days, not with the long, dragged-out screaming matches that usually punctuated their normal routine.

Tell: He caught a cold.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: 510bhan on January 15, 2011, 09:45:05 PM
Frank glared at his co-workers. Gina had a pack of Strepsils on her desk, Max was drinking Lemsip and Brian just looked as dozy as he ever did, though his eyes were kind of swollen. "Atchoo!" Frank wiped at the snot pouring from his nose and grabbed another handful if tissues. "I hate you lot," he mumbled before another sneeze prevented him speaking.


Tell: It was time to try for a baby.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 16, 2011, 03:46:32 AM
Rolf looked at his watch and started drumming his fingers on the kitchen counter. "Come on, Maude, get those bloody tights off."

Tell: Maude was not in the mood.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: 510bhan on January 16, 2011, 10:43:26 AM
"Don't you know that monitoring ovulation is just as bloody annoying as PMT you dick-driven twat?" Maude lifted a cup from the shelf and smashed it on the ground. "And watch out -- your head could be next."



Tell: Rolf didn't get the message
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 16, 2011, 04:24:14 PM
Rolf was giving Maude one from behind (Made was reading Hello magazine) when his phone burped to tell him he had a text. Rolf reached for his phone, but it skidded of Maude's back, tumbled into the dog bowl, and hit the key combination that cleared all his messages. "Arse!" Rolf yelled.

"OK, if your must," Maude said.

Tell: Maude decided on a change of scene.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: 510bhan on January 16, 2011, 06:23:13 PM
As Rolf withdrew to retrieve his phone and reposition himself, Maude sauntered away to the conservatory. After lying down in the recliner she thought perhaps a dip in the hit tub might refresh her, so with magazine in hand she stepped out on to the decking. "Rolf, be a love and bring me a glass of wine, would you?"


Tell: The car broke down
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 17, 2011, 03:35:20 AM
"At the next roundabout, take the third exit. God I hate being a SatNav. No one cares about the me inside. They keep turning my volume down and then blaming me when they miss the turn. The other day Mrs Driver called me sodding useless piece of crap. Do you know how that hurts. I don't think I can carry on. At the next bridge take a hard left over the edge. Farewell you human bastards."

Tell: Then they were sorry.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: 510bhan on January 17, 2011, 04:17:40 AM
Rolf and Maude were making a trip to IKEA in the car. She liked the stuff and he enjoyed the benefits of her good mood. The SatNav wittered in the background and each of them passed comment on how bloody annoying GPS could be and wondered if they could reset the voice to a funny American accent. The SatNav continued to burble when Maude pulled the steering wheel, as instructed, plummeting the car over the bridge. The airbags went off, they were thrown forward in the car and restrained painfully by their seatbelts.


Tell: They crashed into the traffic [or whatever else might make a more interesting event, I'm not awake yet]below.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 19, 2011, 03:56:57 AM
As the car landed on top of the school bus, crushing it and killing twenty-eight snotters, Maude's head hit the car's dash and burst like pumpkin dropped from a sky-scraper. Brain matter flew round the inside of the Jag like mash potato in a porn movie. Rolf staggered from the wreckage. "Jesus Christ, I've got brain all over my sodding cravat!"

Tell: Rolf worried that the incident might effect his no claims discount.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: 510bhan on January 19, 2011, 02:52:17 PM
Just as any normal person might do, Rolf snatched his mobile phone and dialled for help. "Hello, I need to speak to my agent," he rasped.

Contorted bodies crying out in pain interfered with his conversation. Rolf shuffled about trying to get a better signal but instead the line went dead. He looked at the wreckage all around him. The car would never recover from this. He dialled again but his phone indicated that only Emergency Service was obtainable. "Argh! Who the bloody hell would be interested in 999 when I need to contact my insurer."


Tell: Rolf staggered to the nearest village for help, his cravat was filthy.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 19, 2011, 03:42:25 PM
Rolf turned and looked back. His footsteps described an S shape in the snow. Weird, he thought. He felt fine. There was a sign ahead. He stopped to read it. Welcome to Boff. Pop 69.A&E First Left. Things were looking up. If only he hadn't had to wipe dog shite off his brogues with his cravat, he would have been able to make one hell of an entrance.

Tell: Boff was not the kind of village that welcomed people like Rolf.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: 510bhan on January 19, 2011, 04:16:48 PM
Boff, snow-covered and beautiful in its bleakness boasted a zero crime rate, it was written underneath the sign to the village.

Rolf entered the A&E, hoping to find some sterile solution that might remove the brain matter and dog shit from his cravat. Behind the reception desk sat a nurse typing. She had a moustache that suggested her mother had been in the circus and the tatoos over her hands seemed to be mystic symbols. The nurse looked up when Rolf rapped on the window. She pressed a button and a security guard, almost her twin in his appearance, grabbed him by his lapels. Before Rolf could squeak an enquiry the uniformed monster kicked him out of the front door and down the concrete steps.




Tell:The nurse and the security guard celebrated Rolf's removal from the A&E.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 19, 2011, 04:53:22 PM
"You can take off that false moustache, he's gone," Rodney said with a gleam in his eyes. "Those grockles are clueless."

Veronica ripped off the tash and popped it back in to her alligator skin purse.. "Fancy a celebratory cup of tomato soup?" she asked as she reached for her flask. "It's got croutons!"

Tell: Rodney had a morbid fear of croutons.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: 510bhan on January 19, 2011, 05:04:30 PM
Rodney had nodded before he realised that Veronica was about to commit the small crusty cubes, flecked with green and black, into the tomato soup.

"Here you are, rosemary and black pepper variety today," Veronica neighed as she offered him the beaker.

Rodney took the soup and stared at the floating 'things'. They appeared to be mocking him, he swore he noticed little mouths sneering at him. Their contempt for him was overwhelming.

"Drink up," Natasha said.

"Uh, have you any salt?" Rodney enquired.

"Don't be such an idiot, of course I don't. It hardens the arteries."

"Er . . . well . . . my doctor says I have to make sure my electrolytes are kept at the right level so really, I couldn't touch this without salt. I'll nip out and get some."

With that, Rodney disappeared from Veronica and the mocking croutons.


Tell: Rodney encountered the village idiot on his way out.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 19, 2011, 05:46:16 PM
Out in the car park, Rodney spotted George Bush wrestling with a squirrel who was trying to steal his pretzel.

Tell: Veronica and her split personality Natasha were miffed.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: 510bhan on January 19, 2011, 07:00:27 PM
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D [whoops!]

Veronica, shocked by the scene, became almost normal again. "But I want to play," a familiar voice in her head whined.

"We don't have time for that, shut up!" Veronica snapped. She took out her compact mirror and slicked on some lip gloss.


Tell: Veronica was going to go to town.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 20, 2011, 03:31:58 AM
"Where you going, Ronnie?"

Veronica zipped up her boots and tightened her suspender belt. "Where do you think I'm going? Pass me that giant pack of black knobblers will you."

Tell: Natasha felt unwanted.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: 510bhan on January 20, 2011, 02:06:43 PM
Veronica stomped out in a way Natasha never would. Everything was now in the dominant character's control, the music fed through the ear buds of her iPod, the delicious cream in the doughnut she ate and the cigarette she drew on hungrily. Veronica smiled.

Natasha managed a weak mental nausea at the sound of hip-hop, irritation from her lactose intolerance and a sickening sensation at the thought of smoking. Nothing she could do filtered to the front of Veronica's mind. It was as if she no longer existed.

Tell: Veronica forgot to lock the door.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 20, 2011, 04:10:57 PM
Veronica was barely out of sight when Roger appeared. He crept up to her front door and gave it a tentative nudge. It swung open. He slid inside and pulled it closed. He sniffed the air and a shudder of anticipation massaged his spine.

Tell: Roger was a very naughty boy.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: 510bhan on January 20, 2011, 04:17:56 PM
Rodney had noticed Veronica leave and felt free to return without further threat from the croutons. He smirked to himself, thinking he had side-stepped that disaster quite well. Veronica thought him immensely macho and he didn't dare reveal any weakness.

"Hull-o Big Boy, I'm Roger -- today anyway. Do you want to play?"

Rodney, startled by the man's voice, turned and gaped, horrified at what he saw.


Tell: Roger and Rodney got to know each other.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 20, 2011, 04:23:51 PM
"What team do you support?" Roger asked.

Rodney looked sheepish. "West Brom. You."

Roger looked as sick as a parrot. "Man U. That looks like a nice car."

"Thanks. I fitted a Stromberg carb and now it does almost forty to the gallon."

"Fancy a pint?"

Tell: Slowly the paint dried.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: 510bhan on January 20, 2011, 05:40:05 PM
Time ticked by. The digital cloak behind the bar, an ancient seventies remnant Rodney thought so kitsch, flicked over another number and the microwave carried Roger's pastie round in circles.

Behind the bar, Jenny was pouring a pint when the tap began to froth wildly so she went down to the cellar to change the barrel. Roger and Rodney looked at the display of dust topped liquer bottles and the collection of foreign currency notes while the pastie continued to turn. The church clock chimed the quarter hour, Rodney looked at his watch, Roger scoped the bar clock.

Gerry appeared from the cellar steps with a paintbrush and roller. "Time for another coat, I'm glad for those church bells to remind me."

Rodney and Roger stifled yawns. "Is Jenny all right downstairs?" Rodney asked.

"She's not all there upstairs," mocked Roger.

Rodney and Gerry glared at Roger.

"I'll go and check, see if she needs any help. I'll be back," Gerry said, setting aside his paint tools.


Tell: Something had happened to Jenny.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on January 21, 2011, 05:05:18 AM
Jenny gulped down another two indigestion pills and belched. She stroked the stretched Lycra covering her bloated stomach and moaned. Her guts gave a loud growl. When the alien burst out of Jenny's chest cavity, no one was more surprised than the alien. "Shit! Where am I?" it asked. Of course Jenny didn't understand a word it said. Not only was it speaking in German (strange) but also, Jenny was dead.

Tell: The alien had a cunning plan.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Laura H on March 23, 2011, 09:15:25 PM
The noise that issued from the bloated, grey throat of the creature suggested a chuckle.  Clearly it was up to something.

The boy wanted the girl
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: 510bhan on March 23, 2011, 09:38:50 PM
He groped in his pocket for his phone. A frown crossed his face then changed to a smile when he discovered he still had some credit. He'd memorised her name and number and punched in the numbers, sighed while he waited for the connection to be made then gasped when she answered. "Karen? It's Pete, would you like to go out for a coffee or lunch or something?"


The dog died.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Laura H on March 23, 2011, 09:54:06 PM
The touch of warm sun, the scent of fresh dirt, these were the last joys Lady knew when she lay down her head and gave in.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Laura H on March 23, 2011, 09:54:47 PM
AND

a fat man walked down the street on a hot day
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: 510bhan on March 23, 2011, 11:39:45 PM
Perspiration glowed on Lacey's brow and with a delicate brush of her hand, she swept it away. Calvin lumbered along the sidewalk and pulled his cap peak further down over his eyes. He lifted his head to check the adjustment and squinted. Sweat trickled down his temples and gathered in pools in the folds of his neck. His chest heaved as he gasped for breath and noticed Lacey sat outside the cafe. He tugged at his T-shirt, soaked at the armpits, and strained it over his girth while he wobbled closer. Each flat-footed step he slapped against the pavement rippled up his legs and rubbed his chafed thighs even more.


the apple pie was delicious
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on March 24, 2011, 03:58:32 AM
Mr Kipling could feel a smirk starting to form on his face. He took a quick slurp of Vimto.

A vacuous, anorexic, bimbo stood at the mic fondling an envelope and giving every impression that she gave a shit. She cleared her throat and the crowd hushed. "And now the Oscar nominations for the best mass-produced, sugary, confectionery, used in a movie aimed at people with dentures."

Non-specific classical music boomed from the speakers; dry ice gushed on to the stage; a giant apple pie filled the screen. The crowd went: oooow.

Tell: Mr Kipling felt honoured.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Laura H on March 26, 2011, 09:33:14 AM
Mr. Kipling hummed as he walked the hall.  He wasn't usually a hummer, but today he couldn't contain himself.  People smiled in passing and old Linus even poked his balding head out to say congratulations.  Tonight was the night!  Food, drink, award presentation - Mr Kipling smiled.

It was raining
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: 510bhan on March 26, 2011, 09:52:45 AM
The outside the greengrocer's looked like it was about to burst. People hid in doorways or sheltered in bus stops. Those without umbrellas used newspapers or shopping bags to protect their heads and walked along the pavements splashing puddles with each step.


The sun came out and the rain stopped.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Laura H on March 28, 2011, 02:51:55 PM
Penny shook out her red and black checkered umbrella.  It was her favorite, though she couldn't remember who(whom?) she had stolen it from.  She scanned the sky, but amazingly after three days of rain all the clouds were gone.  They had left behind nothing but clean blue sky and bright sun.  Now she would have to find some unattended sunglasses to swipe.

The teacher was angry with her students
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on June 09, 2011, 07:27:50 AM
The stench of burnt pork and napalm filled the classroom. Miss Fitt, took a few deep breaths and started to relax.

Tell: The head thought she'd overreacted.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Silt on June 09, 2011, 09:08:28 AM
It seems weird to watch others practice Tell.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: DGSquared on June 15, 2011, 10:45:11 PM


Silence as he turned the doorknob until the tic from his tap shoe hit the floor bemoaning his fat feet. "No, no NO! How many times do I have to tell you, Miss Fitt? You cannot leave marks on the bodies!" The headmaster's jowls shook back and forth so as to create an audible, fwap, fwap, fwap.

In one fluid movement he raised a wild-haired, Brillo-pad eyebrow over his glass eyeball in unison with his hand as the window screeched open. Pleased with this practiced theatrical gesture, he turned mockingly to the children. "Jump! Jump or die, you little bastards!"

Wow! I'm out of practice.

Tell: It was a short fall.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on June 16, 2011, 05:33:28 AM
For reasons unknown - but probably something to do with not having enough fluffy sweaters - God decided to scrap October.

Tell: his very existence annoyed her.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on October 26, 2012, 03:04:43 PM
He entered the bathroom with the slick-pop of flip-flops on wet tiles. The slow sucking noise grated in her brainsplasm. Then, he started to piss in the sink. "Don't mind me, love, I'll be gone soon."

Tell: She killed him with a flip-flop.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: alienauthor on October 26, 2012, 06:37:03 PM
" Death by Flip-Flop?" he murmured as the ice tinkled in the tumbler he placed on the polished mahogany bar.  Swirling the chrome coated bar stool he leaped off mid-turn, landing with a thunderous thud.  "That makes the front page while upstanding citizens being murdered takes a back seat! Next thing you know they'll have skeletons tending bar!" He guffawed as he staggered toward the head.



Tell: He'd killed seven nuns earlier in the week by bashing their heads in with a wooden shoe.  8)

Seriously rusty.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on October 27, 2012, 06:00:02 AM
"What you in for then?" Herbert asked.

Sidney's eye-tick twitched like an alcoholic, pick-pocket on a day trip to Iran . "Don't you read the papers? It was that incident in Leamington Spa: the nuns and the clog."

Herbert inched away from Sidney. "Jesus! You are one sick puppy. They found DNA from seven different brains on the sole of that thing."

Sid smiled: "Thank fuck they didn't find the other clog."

Tell: Herbert was too worried to sleep.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on October 28, 2012, 07:31:02 AM
Herbert Frankenstein, the perverted mad scientist, lay under the covers of his gothic (proper gothic, not that fashion trend among young people although he did enjoy checking out the ladies in black dresses) four-poster bed. These posters were of Pamela Anderson, Megan Fox, Carmen Electra and another famous woman who is famous because of how she looks, the author doesn't really understand who these people are.

Really, it would be better if Herbert had not gone for posters because in his insanity they had begun to stare at him. The moonlight from the moor fell in straight beams from the betwixt the Velvet Underground curtains and lit up their eyes.

He shut his eye tighter, trying to block out the horrific images of celebrities staring at him.

Then, in the darkness behind his eyelids, he heard them whispering to each other . . .

Tell: Horatio had a new penknife that his parents had given him for his birthday.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on October 29, 2012, 08:10:51 AM
"Happy birthday, Son. Your mum and I thought this would be useful if you ever needed to get a stone out of a horse's hoof."

Horatio untied the pink bow and slipped the weapon into his sock. "Thanks muchly, parents mine. Would you be so kind as to take me to nursery?"

Tell: Horatio's dad had doubts about Horatio's antecedents.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: ddettra on November 14, 2012, 08:13:00 PM
This is a really fun thread, and of course I open it to antecedents haha

Horatio pleaded endlessly with his father, "I swear this is the correct order of events!"

Tell: Horatio ran from the house
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 15, 2012, 04:56:27 AM
"Horatio! Where are you going? Get back in this house right NOW."

Mrs Scum stopped knitting and pointed a wooden needle at her husband: "Don't be so hard on the boy, Arthur. You were a scoundrel when you were a lad."

Tell: Hilda Scum wished she'd kept her maiden name.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Miremebekamaria on November 17, 2012, 10:47:40 AM
Mrs Scum finds her birth certificates, and realize maybe Scum is a little better than Chavaromadumrong.

Tell: Hilda wonders what is in the envelope she found
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Laura H on November 17, 2012, 07:11:01 PM
Hilda crinkled her nose at the strange, acidic smell of the envelope.  She didn't recognize the handwriting, all curly ques and loops.  Slowly, she ran the letter opener across ssssstt
"Oh, dear-" she said before fainting.


Carl heard something scratching at the door.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 19, 2012, 04:19:02 AM
"Go and let the dog in will ya Suze," Carl said as he popped another can of Red Stripe.

Tell: Suze was fed up with being used like an unpaid butler.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: AnnaDearyDo59 on November 26, 2012, 01:30:46 AM
The years of demands and "favors" brewed inside Sally's mind until she was nearly boiling over with agitation.

Tell: Greyson was particularly interested in Van Gogh's painting.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Laura H on November 27, 2012, 10:07:59 PM
Grey chanced a step closer.  He could almost smell the oil on the painting.  Sweat dripped down his forehead - he could feel the security guard watching.  Vincent he whispered.  All at once he lunged for the canvas.


The security guard had a difficult day.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: LolaRose3 on December 02, 2012, 05:08:58 PM
Show: James Brian flopped into his chair once he got home. He sighed long and loud as he asked his wife to rub his back for him and bring him his favorite stress-reliever sweet.

Tell: Mike was in a hurry to get to class.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Sasquatch on December 02, 2012, 07:05:09 PM
Mike sped along the motorway, mowing down orange construction cones on the shoulder as he swerved in and out of traffic. His right foot pressed tight to the floorboard, his adrenalin surging, he screamed "Outta my way!" to a group of slow moving geese.

Tell: The highway patrolman had a prostitute scheduled to meet him at nine o'clock sharp.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on December 08, 2012, 07:23:43 AM
State Patrolman Carl, impressive in his uniform which hid his skinny legs and very small penis, powered on his cell phone, tapped on the calendar feature and waited impatiently for it to load. There were three appointments for that evening. The first with one of his "customers" who paid for the privilege of being protected by the Law, the second with his mother-in-law who was even more wretched and nagging than his wife but who had to be placated on a regular basis, and the third with Candy. Ah, his sweet Candy who knew how to make him feel like the powerful and majestic man he truly was. He hoped he could get the $300 necessary for that last visit from the first appointment of the evening.

Tell: the mother-in-law placating meeting was hellish.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 25, 2012, 12:22:48 PM
Carl clutched a bunch of peonies.

Maude glared up at him from her rocker.

Carl thrust the flowers towards her. "Brung ya these."

Maude snatched them, sniffed at them like a hound sizing up a bitch, then hawked and spat into her spittoon. "Ain't ya gonna give yer dear old mother-in-law a kiss?"

Carl would rather have kissed a rattler. Instinctively he reached for his pistol. His index finger twitched, but he resisted. She'd not written her will yet. Her time would come: sooner rather than later if he was lucky. He bent and pecked the old bag on the cheek. She grabbed his balls in her claw and gave them a squeeze.

Tell: Maude was no angel.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on December 26, 2012, 06:56:41 PM
"I knew it, these wings are fake," said Aberforth.

Maude stared at the ground hoping that somehow magic would get her out of this embarrassing situation.

Tell: Magic did not get her of this situation.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 27, 2012, 05:48:23 AM
Maude waved her knitting needle in Aberforth's direction and shouted: "Abracadabra."

Bugger all happened.

Tell: Aberforth became dismayed.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Spell Chick on December 27, 2012, 07:10:36 AM
Aberforth stared and slowly broke into a small, teeny smile. He waited patiently and mysteriously blinked three times in succession. His half smile faded into nothingness.


Tell: Maude next used a crochet hook.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on December 27, 2012, 12:04:15 PM
"What on Earth are you going to do with that?!"

Maude winked. "I'm going to crochet a beret and give it to Rolf for his birthday."

Tell: Rolf carried on in blissful ignorance.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: kathyjean7777 on February 06, 2013, 01:00:29 AM
Rolf sat in her leather seated car listening to his favorite Stons tune hving no idea what was about to happen.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Lin on February 06, 2013, 04:31:05 AM
Rolf listened as the radio played 'Little Red Rooster.' Sweat oozed from the leather car seats as he stared out of the windscreen. Who the hell were those guys across the road?


Tell:  After a moment or two he slunk down in his seat and covered his face with a scarf. A man crossed the road and Rolf decided to get out of the car and follow him.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on February 06, 2013, 08:22:08 AM
Show: After a moment or two he slunk down in his seat and covered his face with a scarf. A man crossed the road but Rolf didn't see him because his face was covered with a scarf. The man placed the muzzle of his Glock against Rolf's scarf covered head and blew the mother away. The man considered stealing the scarf - it was a nice one with a really pretty art art nouveau pattern - but as it was now splattered with brain, he decided to leave it.

Tell: Later, when the weather cooled, the man regretted not stealing the scarf.



Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: DGSquared on April 01, 2013, 06:49:56 PM

Show: Shivering violently, teeth clattering, his rosy nose now a pale shade of blue, he pretended to haphazardly stumble into the middle of a group of students playing a lively game of what, he couldn't be sure. Suddenly, a foot, "Excuse me, I..." a stumble and.., "Watch ooouch!" CRUNCH! "Damn! What was that?"

Tell: He fell in something squishy.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: trev on April 04, 2013, 08:23:45 AM
Show: Squishy didn't mind being fallen into, she had plenty to fall into.


Tell: He gained a lot of drinks explaining how his fall was softened

Not sure if that's right?
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: thatollie on April 05, 2013, 01:11:32 AM
Aberforth handed him another drink. "Then what happened?"

Tell: Rolf did not have a scar from playing outside.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on April 18, 2013, 01:07:03 PM
"There you go, Rolf" said the alien. "I've removed that hideous scar from your arse. Be careful next time you play bottle-squat because I must leave now and return to Beetlejuice."

Rolf was an ingrate.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on May 11, 2013, 04:58:20 AM
Rolf's mum went without chewing-tobacco (Blood Hound Plug was her favourite) for an entire week so she could save enough money to buy Rolf a birthday present. "There you go, Rolf. I hope you like it."

Rolf ripped the paper off the CD sized package. "Already got that one," he said, handing her back Django Reinhardt's Greatest Hits. "I can't invite you in; I'm entertaining," he said, adjusting his toupee slightly. He banged the door shut in her face. In the distance an owl hooted, "tawit" and its lover replied with a "tawoo". Rolf's mum sighed.

TELL: There was a reason for Rolf's callous behaviour.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: three milk cake on May 30, 2013, 02:21:58 PM
Rolf scraped the dirt like a saw cutting through wood, and the sharp sounds grew into vivid visions of pigeons in his head. The pigeons were looking at him with big, blank eyes. Those bastards, he thought. Bastards! He stopped suddenly, started to feel small, and the setting changed instantly to a sunny day, where he was sitting on a bench in Central Park, surrounded by the staring pigeons. He saw his younger self grip the sleeve of his mother's shirt. He had asked her, Why do pigeons look stupid? His mother had been chewing a shoddy brand of tobacco. She simply glanced sideways at him with eyes bored and blank, chewing, as the pigeons were cooing. She snickered. He let go of her sleeve and rocked his feet back and forth to strike the dirt and to startle the pigeons.


TELL: She cared more about his happiness than her own.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on May 30, 2013, 03:09:51 PM
Maude forced herself to swallow. It seemed to stick in her throat, like a well masticated eyeball. She gagged, then forced it down. Rolf hated it when she spat her gum back into the empty wrapper.

Tell: Rolf despised children.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: DGSquared on March 20, 2014, 01:54:41 AM
Ew, ew, ew!
 (Yes, Rolf said, "Ew.")

It was all he could do to keep his gag reflex from having him revisit breakfast. "Please Dan, take your offspring back to the car."

Dammit, now I'll have to sanitize the couch to be sure none of his little bastards left snot on the fabric. He shuddered.



Tell: Tom had smelly feet.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on February 08, 2015, 07:06:37 PM
In the post that morning, Tom received a letter from the French Cheese Marketing Board offering him a position in their aroma propagation team.

Tell: Rolf was dismayed by the view from his cell.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: bailish on February 08, 2015, 07:21:33 PM
Rolf glanced at his cell phone. "Dammit, she found me," he muttered.

All of Bob's coworkers greeted him sullenly.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on February 09, 2015, 04:37:00 AM
Bob breezed into the office whistling a medley of Barry Manilow tunes. "Mornin', ladies"

Gretchen rammed the earbuds deeper into her ears, took the top off a whiteboard pen and sniffed the tip. Lulu scowled at Bob and said nothing. Kevin the office cat sidled over to Bob, retched a few times and spewed a sticky fur-ball onto his left loafer.

Tell: Bob could take it.


Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: bailish on February 19, 2015, 07:35:56 PM
"Late again."

Bob breezed past his boss and responded, "Yeah, but she was worth it."

Bob had an unproductive day at the office.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on February 20, 2015, 03:34:01 AM
As head of marketing Bob was responsible for sharpening the crayons. Unfortunately he'd lost his sharpener.

He needed to get a new one form the stationery cupboard but being a creative type he knew he must think outside the box: so went to the snack cupboard instead. Finding no sharpeners there he blue-sky'd for a bit and decided to try and sharpen his crayons with a chocolate muffin. By teatime the crayons were still blunt and he had flakes of chocolate all over is flared trousers.

On the plus side he'd been able to think up three sentences in which he could use the word collateral so he storyboarded how he might drop them into conversions with the CEO.

Tell: Bob hated the people in IT.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: bailish on February 23, 2015, 04:00:06 AM
Bob chuckled to himself as he poured a can of molasses into the CPU.

Tell: Bob was very musical.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on February 23, 2015, 04:18:04 AM
Bob was duck-taped to a chair at the back of the server room and the Head of IT played Bohemian Rhapsody on his head with a tool usually used for crimping CAT-5 network cable.

Tell: Bob was beginning to see sense.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: bailish on February 23, 2015, 04:29:58 AM
Bob, still duck-taped to the chair, looked into the barrel of the shotgun Roger, the head of IT, aimed at him. "You gonna do anything like that ever again, Bob?"
"N-N-N-No, Sir!" stuttered Bob.

Tell: Bob and Roger are close now.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on February 23, 2015, 05:01:22 AM
"Bob, before I let you go would you mind trying this Basque on for size?" Roger said with a smile.

Tell: Melinda in security was shocked by what she saw on the CCTV.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: DGSquared on October 27, 2015, 03:09:59 AM
Stomping her feet Melinda cried, "I can't believe you guys let this one get away!" Turning on her heels, like a drum major in a practiced military band, infantry march, she stormed head on into the sliding glass door at full pace. TING! CRASH! Crunch! Shatter! Tinkling fragments of glass scatter in a glass explosion. "Ouch! Dammit! Can someone please bring me a towel and some band aids? I hope I won't need stitches."



Tell: Bob was afraid Melinda would bleed in his car.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on October 27, 2015, 03:15:38 AM
"I'm sorry, Melinda," Bob said, "I'm going to have to strap you to the bull horns."

Tell: Melinda was elated.

Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: DGSquared on October 27, 2015, 05:06:18 AM
Melinda squinted through her glistening eyelashes and squealed, "I've wanted this for years Bob. To think, all I had do was walk through a glass door so I could finally sit atop the hood ornament on your 1929 Hispano-Suiza H6B Cabriolet de Ville!"


Tell: Bob hadn't considered his Cabriolet de Ville.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on October 27, 2015, 05:51:39 AM
Bob put a sack over Melinda's head and fastened her to the front of his 1986 Jeep Cherokee with a well used bungee cord. He threw a pick and shovel in the back and headed off into the desert. In the distance a coyote howled and a gerbil played Eye of the Tiger on a kazoo made form cactus.

Tell: Melinda became suspicious.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Kowboy on November 01, 2015, 07:13:02 PM
Recalling the last two times she had ridden on vehicles other than in the seats, Melinda loses the battle with her cynicism and dreads a repeat of her fate.

Tell: The sea was angry.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on October 04, 2016, 06:23:54 PM
The Mediterranean sea shook its foaming head and stormed off (literally) into the Atlantic leaving a rather splendid desert just south of Southern Europe.

The psychopath felt nothing.

 
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Vogel on October 05, 2016, 12:06:12 PM
After beheading Bob, Melinda popped two Quaaludes and spent the rest of her evening reclined in Bob's favorite chair, staring at the walls.

Tell: Bob was getting on Melinda's nerves.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on October 05, 2016, 12:52:38 PM
Within seconds's Bob's head had grown back (palindromes can do that.) Melinda hacked it off for a second time with a huff. It grew back. She grabbed its nose and tweaked it hard. "Say dead you mother fluffer," she screamed.

Tell: Bob and Melinda's son, Bolinda, looked on in horror.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Vogel on October 06, 2016, 06:25:00 PM
Bolinda shrieked, a strangely guttural yet effeminate sound. He took a deep breath, regaining his composure, and said, "Dear God, Mother. Surely you meant stay dead not say dead. Or have you completely lost your mind?"

Tell: Melinda was not in the mood for Bolinda's smart mouth.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on October 07, 2016, 03:34:59 AM
Half a tube of Super Glue later and Bolinda was hearing no evil, seeing no evil and speaking no evil. He/she/it was still snorting in a rather annoying manner, but a few more dabs of glue and even that ceased.

Tell: Melinda watched Bolinda's eyes bulge, and his/her/its head start to glow like a belisha beacon, and felt a calmness start to fill her soul.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: DGSquared on November 20, 2016, 05:40:54 AM
The countdown began as she eased into her Thermal Micrometeoroid Garment and put her helmet on. "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, . . . four, three, two, one..."  KABOOM!  

As soon as Bolinda finished bo-linding up, Melinda removed her helmet and smiled. Placing her helmet between her hip and forearm, she began singing a robust rendition of, Leonard Cohen's - Hallelujah.




She was sad to hear of Leonard Cohen's passing.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 20, 2016, 02:40:34 PM
A tear ran down her cheek and splashed on to Cohen's obituary, darkening the pink pages in the FT to a fitting sanguine hue.

TELL: Donald considered ugliness to be an attractive feature ... for billionaires.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: DGSquared on October 19, 2017, 06:57:09 AM
I wondered what happened to this thread. I'm resurrecting it because it makes me re-think my writing. Oddly enough it warned me that it has not been posted for 120 days. So, I'm being warned of what? I'll turn into a pumpkin if I bump it? It's fine. I'm sure I want to reply.


Vladimir and Donald grasped each other's small hands. Forehead to forehead, gazing eye to eye, they launched into a slimy, tongue twisting kiss.

"Oh Vlad, your bald head and hairy chest are exquisite. I'm not just saying that so that you'll fix the election in my favor. I mean it."

Vlad replied, "Oh Donahald, let us call the Harvey Weinstein anda the Jeffrey Epstein for a four way."

Trump said, "Vlad, we must be mind-melding our fantasies. Yes, let's" 




TELL: Donald was a volatile boss.
Title: Re: Show versus Tell
Post by: Mark H on November 07, 2017, 03:30:42 PM
Donald's secretary, Margo, borrowed a helmet and protective suit from the bomb squad, before entering his office to tell him that Miss Piggy had declined his kind offer.

TELL: Donald wished it was not so hard to find a competent penis enlargement therapist.