My Writers Circle

The Coffee Shop => Writing Games & Challenges => Topic started by: Lin on November 04, 2007, 11:50:46 AM

Title: Limerick Addicts/ Go for it, be creative. Possible Adult/Sexual language.
Post by: Lin on November 04, 2007, 11:50:46 AM
We are about to close down the present Limerick thread in the Coffee shop and replace it with a new title "Limerick Addicts"

Some of the members have definitely become addicted to this thread and we felt you were becoming stressed when we had to keep asking you to maintain the flow and meter of the limerick. LOL  So we thought we would soothe your weary brow and massage you into a new thread with a slightly different criteria.

Here are the guidelines, but please try to keep it clean and use words which will not offend

Please add one line per person and the last person no longer has to add a new line for the next contributor, if they don't wish to do so.  Please ensure you copy and paste each member's contribution  above your own so we can read it as one limerick. 5 lines

We want you to stick to the rules with meter and syllables to match the previous lines.   If you do not adhere to the guidelines it will spoil the flow.  So try and keep it going for the addicts please!!


A limerick is a five-line poem written with one couplet and one triplet. If a couplet is a two-line rhymed poem, then a triplet would be a three-line rhymed poem. The rhyme pattern is a a b b a with lines 1, 2 and 5 containing 3 beats and rhyming, and lines 3 and 4 having two beats and rhyming. Some people say that the limerick was invented by soldiers returning from France to the Irish town of Limerick in the 1700's.

 

Limericks are meant to be funny. They often contain hyperbole, onomatopoeia, idioms, puns, and other figurative devices. The last line of a good limerick contains the PUNCH LINE or "heart of the joke." As you work with limericks, remember to have pun, I mean FUN! Say the following limericks out loud and clap to the rhythm.

 

A flea and a fly in a flue

Were caught, so what could they do?

Said the fly, "Let us flee."

"Let us fly," said the flea.

So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

As we said above
The rhyme pattern is a a b b a with lines 1, 2 and 5 containing 3 beats and rhyming, and lines 3 and 4 having two beats and rhyming.



Thanks for your understanding

Lin
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 04, 2007, 11:51:25 AM
There once was a Scotsman named Andy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 04, 2007, 12:04:45 PM
There once was a Scotsman named Andy
feeling rather frisky and randy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Spell Chick on November 04, 2007, 12:47:41 PM
There once was a Scotsman named Andy
feeling rather frisky and randy
He visited Wales
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: naturewalker on November 04, 2007, 12:53:26 PM
There once was a Scotsman named Andy
feeling rather frisky and randy
He visited Wales
to boost sales   Should be to boost up the sales    5 syllables the same as the last line - Lin
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: allyrose on November 04, 2007, 01:42:53 PM
There once was a Scotsman named Andy
feeling rather frisky and randy
He visited Wales
to boost sales
He handed out candy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 04, 2007, 02:08:07 PM
The last line should have 8/9 syllables and not 6 Ally - Suggest "And then he handed out candy"  It flows better

Lin x
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 04, 2007, 06:01:12 PM
A thespian from Montpellier
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Xerika on November 04, 2007, 06:53:47 PM
A thespian from Montpellier
Got gradually much smellier
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 04, 2007, 09:13:46 PM
A thespian from Montpellier
Got gradually much smellier
He took off his costume
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 04, 2007, 11:27:02 PM
A thespian from Montpellier
Got gradually much smellier
He took off his costume
As the smell filled the room
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 05, 2007, 03:54:41 AM
A thespian from Montpellier
Got gradually much smellier
He took off his costume
As the smell filled the room
With kippers al la St Hellier
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Jakey on November 05, 2007, 04:13:25 AM
Three dogs named Bark, Wuff and Yapp
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: naturewalker on November 05, 2007, 05:11:09 AM

Three dogs named Bark, Wuff and Yapp
Really did want to wear a purple cap
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 05, 2007, 05:38:42 AM
Maybe too many syllables here?

Try this
Three dogs named Bark Wuff and Yapp
Looked smart in a purple cap?   7 syallables to match the above line and not 10 but please carry on as you wish.  See the first post at the top of the page.  See this limerick thing isnt just about rhming the last word!
Looked  smart  in a pur- ple cap
    1         1    1   1  1   1    1 = 7
Lin x
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 05, 2007, 06:16:01 AM
Yet I would beg to differ Lin :
‘Looked smart in a purple cap’
I would suggest you need another syllable in here to make it bounce.
'Looked smart in a (blank) purple cap'
But then again – why would a dog wear a purple cap? What sort of a prat names their dog woof? I’m the first to stand up and point fingers but this new totalitarian regime smacks of New Labour, Central Control and the Nanny State. Why not just slap a £60 fine on wrongdoers?

What about one thread for Beginners and No Hopers, one for Nice Try Love but no Goldfish, and one the Big Lads - Come and Have a Go if you Think You’re Hard Enough. 


Just a thought.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Amie on November 05, 2007, 06:29:22 AM
Quote
I would suggest you need another syllable in here to make it bounce.

Never mind comply with ISO 71233 Limericks.  Part 1:  Requirements for meter.  (psst, Lin - it's 9 syllables for line 2, although you can get away with 8 if it's got the right "bounce" ;) )


How about "Looking smart in a purplish cap"?  (but you have to pronounce "purplish" as three syllables to make it work)

But I think you've hit the crux of the matter Sir Nige - how can we concentrate on meter when we're distracted by pratty dogs named woof?  I think this merits further investigation.  In the meantime, I can't wait until it's my turn to start a new one, for which I'll use the line "On some men who were quite hard enough"

Anyway, back to the serious manly business of limericking:

Three dogs named Bark Wuff and Yapp
Looking smart in a purplish cap
Said "This rhyme is quite pants"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 05, 2007, 06:45:44 AM
Three dogs named Bark Wuff and Yapp
Looking smart in a purplish cap
Said "This rhyme is quite pants"
I could tell at a glance
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 05, 2007, 07:00:20 AM
Three dogs named Bark Wuff and Yapp
Looking smart in a purplish cap
Said "This rhyme is quite pants"
I could tell at a glance
that Gap caps worn by Yapp were just crap.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Pippie on November 05, 2007, 07:06:27 AM
At the auction I made a large bid,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 05, 2007, 07:24:46 AM
At the auction I made a large bid,
for a rather nice cast iron squid
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 05, 2007, 08:02:56 AM
At the auction I made a large bid,
for a rather nice cast iron squid
A rather nice piece I did think
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 05, 2007, 08:06:11 AM
At the auction I made a large bid,
for a rather nice cast iron squid
A rather nice piece I did think
squirting rather nice ink
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 05, 2007, 08:12:27 AM
At the auction I made a large bid,
for a rather nice cast iron squid
A rather nice piece I did think
squirting rather nice ink
on a rather nice print of El cid
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 05, 2007, 08:21:01 AM
There was a young lady called Gussy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 05, 2007, 08:30:30 AM
There was a young lady called Gussy
Whose mother was terribly fussy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 05, 2007, 08:44:41 AM
There was a young lady called Gussy
Whose mother was terribly fussy
Even worse was her granny
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 05, 2007, 08:51:28 AM
There was a young lady called Gussy
Whose mother was terribly fussy
Even worse was her granny
fastidious Fanny
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 05, 2007, 09:04:01 AM
There was a young lady called Gussy
Whose mother was terribly fussy
Even worse was her granny
fastidious Fanny
Who would reprimand Tiddles - her pussy

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 05, 2007, 09:13:51 AM
There was a young lady called Gussy
Whose mother was terribly fussy
Even worse was her granny
fastidious Fanny
Who would reprimand Tiddles - her pussy
Who'd reprimand Tiddles - her pussy

 :P
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 05, 2007, 09:20:59 AM
who would reprimand Tiddles - her pussy


A fat lazy tosser called Baz
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 05, 2007, 09:26:37 AM
A fat lazy tosser called Baz
was known for his lack of pizzazz
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 05, 2007, 10:28:07 AM
A fat lazy tosser called Baz
was known for his lack of pizzazz
he'd flop in his lounger
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 05, 2007, 10:40:30 AM
A fat lazy tosser called Baz
was known for his lack of pizzazz
he'd flop in his lounger
the bone idle scrounger
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 05, 2007, 10:54:43 AM
A fat lazy tosser called Baz
was known for his lack of pizzazz
he'd flop in his lounger
the bone idle scrounger
Just scratching that rash that he has
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Pippie on November 05, 2007, 12:39:06 PM
The bonfire lit up with a bang,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 05, 2007, 12:43:49 PM
The bonfire lit up with a bang,
Spewing red, hot coals at the gang
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 05, 2007, 02:35:39 PM
The bonfire lit up with a bang,
Spewing red, hot coals at the gang.
Then a spark set alight
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 05, 2007, 03:40:42 PM
The bonfire lit up with a bang,
Spewing red, hot coals at the gang.
Then a spark set alight
And lit up the night
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Xerika on November 05, 2007, 07:59:04 PM
The bonfire lit up with a bang,
Spewing red, hot coals at the gang.
Then a spark set alight
And lit up the night
So you could tell your Ying from your Yang
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Amie on November 05, 2007, 10:26:40 PM
(ref reply 15)

Some men who weren't quite hard enough
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 06, 2007, 03:03:54 AM
Some men who weren't quite hard enough
teamed up with a ho' with no muff
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 06, 2007, 04:07:54 AM
Some men who weren't quite hard enough
teamed up with a ho' with no muff
But the elves and the pixies
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 06, 2007, 04:32:55 AM
Some men who weren't quite hard enough
teamed up with a ho' with no muff
But the elves and the pixies
sold those losers some slick skis
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 06, 2007, 04:52:21 AM
Some men who weren't quite hard enough
teamed up with a ho' with no muff
But the elves and the pixies
sold those losers some slick skis
And the scabby wee doggy said woof 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 06, 2007, 04:55:05 AM
Rubbish limerick you started there Saturnine – rubbish. You do realise you’re playing with the big lads now don’t you ?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 06, 2007, 04:58:44 AM
Like a rose between two knobs!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 06, 2007, 05:01:13 AM
There once was a munter from Monmouth
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 06, 2007, 05:25:19 AM
There once was a munter from Monmouth
Who lithped when he played conkerth
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Amie on November 06, 2007, 05:43:09 AM
There once was a munter from Monmouth
Who lithped when he played with his conkerth
though those nuts wouldn't break
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 06, 2007, 06:06:52 AM
There once was a munter from Monmouth
Who lithped when he played with his conkerth
though those nuts wouldn't break
They were plastic and fake
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 06, 2007, 07:15:27 AM
There once was a munter from Monmouth
Who lithped when he played with his conkerth
though those nuts wouldn't break
They were plastic and fake
of cheateth at conketh don’t speaketh.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Pippie on November 06, 2007, 07:18:18 AM
Today I stood in a Barker's Egg,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Amie on November 06, 2007, 10:24:17 AM
Today I stood in a Barker's Egg,
and commenced my bark, stood on one leg
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Pippie on November 06, 2007, 01:05:34 PM
Today I stood in a Barkers Egg,
and commenced my bark, stood on one leg
but the noise and smell did effect my balance
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 07, 2007, 03:57:18 AM
Pippie your last line was more than the required words for a limerick
This would be enough



Today I stood in a Barkers Egg,
and commenced my bark, stood on one leg
but the noise and smell
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 07, 2007, 04:11:19 AM
Today I stood in a Barkers Egg,
and commenced my bark, stood on one leg
but the noise and smell
were like bakery hell
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 07, 2007, 04:12:27 AM
Today I stood in a Barkers Egg,
and commenced my bark, stood on one leg
but the noise and smell
were like bakery hell
I had to get down to beg

Whilst walking in the park one day
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 07, 2007, 04:23:55 AM
Whilst walking in the park one day
in the very merry month of May
I was taken by surprise
by a bugger twice my size
So I kicked him in the balls and ran away!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 07, 2007, 04:33:32 AM
Watching the sun rise one chilly morning
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 07, 2007, 05:23:26 AM
Watching the sunrise one morning
As I sat ‘neath my blue stripey awning

(ps. I’ve removed your ‘chilly’. So there)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 07, 2007, 05:30:31 AM
Watching the sunrise one morning
As I sat ‘neath my blue stripey awning
I cuddled my koala
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 07, 2007, 06:59:13 AM
Watching the sunrise one morning
As I sat ‘neath my blue stripey awning
I cuddled my koala
And sang la la la la
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 07, 2007, 07:02:04 AM
Watching the sunrise one morning
As I sat ‘neath my blue stripey awning
I cuddled my koala
And sang la la la la
then ripped off his ear with no warning.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 07, 2007, 07:21:24 AM
As her knicker elastic went twang
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 07, 2007, 07:23:27 AM
As her knicker elastic went twang
She heard the back door go 'bang!'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 07, 2007, 07:28:55 AM
As her knicker elastic went twang
she heard the back door go sh’bang!
and then in rushed a prince
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 07, 2007, 08:12:31 AM
As her knicker elastic went twang
she heard the back door go sh’bang!
and then in rushed a prince
(though it was more of a mince)

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 07, 2007, 08:56:36 AM
Sorry Snige, I came over all Leary.

As her knicker elastic went twang
she heard the back door go sh’bang!
and then in minced a prince
with a scrotum of quince
and a runcible spoon for a wang
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 07, 2007, 09:43:42 AM
Whilst strangling a troublesome cat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 07, 2007, 10:37:43 AM
Whilst strangling a troublesome cat
that incessantly shat on my mat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 07, 2007, 10:48:17 AM
Whilst strangling a troublesome cat
that incessantly shat on my mat
I was startled to see
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 07, 2007, 11:05:04 AM
Whilst strangling a troublesome cat
that incessantly shat on my mat
I was startled to see
a humongous pink flea
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 07, 2007, 11:05:45 AM
Great to see you are all improving and improvising!!  Well done addicts - Im enjoying this so much more now.   Thank you

Lin
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Pippie on November 07, 2007, 11:38:12 AM
Whilst strangling a troublesome cat
that incessantly shat on my mat
I was startled to see
a humongous pink flea
whose cat gorging had made him real fat

p.s thanks Lin  ;D
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: allyrose on November 07, 2007, 12:19:31 PM
I had a dog named Paddy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Amie on November 07, 2007, 01:21:16 PM
I once had a dog name of Paddy
He was a right crotch-sniffing baddy!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 07, 2007, 02:45:45 PM
I once had a dog name of Paddy
He was a right crotch-sniffing baddy!
Stuck his nose in my 'stuff'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 07, 2007, 04:53:16 PM
I once had a dog name of Paddy
He was a right crotch-sniffing baddy!
Stuck his nose in my 'stuff'
Then left in a huff
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 07, 2007, 06:36:26 PM
I once had a dog name of Paddy
He was a right crotch-sniffing baddy!
Stuck his nose in my 'stuff'
then left in a huff
and now works for T. Woods as a caddy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 07, 2007, 06:46:43 PM
A jazz player from New Orleans
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 07, 2007, 07:09:56 PM
A jazz player from New Orleans
sold his sax and then joined the marines
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 07, 2007, 07:40:39 PM
A jazz player from New Orleans
sold his sax and then joined the marines
They shaved all his hair
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Xerika on November 07, 2007, 08:09:19 PM
A jazz player from New Orleans
sold his sax and then joined the marines
They shaved all his hair
Which gave him a scare
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Xerika on November 07, 2007, 08:12:21 PM
A jazz player from New Orleans
sold his sax and then joined the marines
They shaved all his hair
Which gave him a scare
Cos he'd got a bad case of Saturnines
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 07, 2007, 10:47:43 PM
DSquared was out galloping one day
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 08, 2007, 04:41:44 AM
DSquared was out galloping one day
On his hobby horse extremely gay
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 08, 2007, 04:48:56 AM
DSquared was out galloping one day
On his hobby horse extremely gay
When on the rise he thought he saw
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 08, 2007, 05:42:01 AM
DSquared was out galloping one day
On his hobby horse extremely gay
When on the rise he saw
A bedraggled old whore
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 08, 2007, 05:49:42 AM
DSquared was out galloping one day
On his hobby horse extremely gay
When on the rise he saw
A bedraggled old whore
who was fondling a skanky toupee
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 08, 2007, 06:52:46 AM
There was a young man from Devizes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 08, 2007, 07:03:33 AM
There was a young man from Devizes
whose girlfriend as full of surprises
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 08, 2007, 07:55:52 AM
There was a young man from Devizes
whose girlfriend was full of surprises
Whilst strictly come dancing
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 08, 2007, 08:09:48 AM
There was a young man from Devizes
whose girlfriend as full of surprises
Whilst strictly come dancing 
she was moaning and panting
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 08, 2007, 08:33:44 AM
There was a young man from Devizes
whose girlfriend was full of surprises
Whilst strictly come dancing 
she was moaning and panting
and dribbling all over the prizes.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 08, 2007, 09:54:27 AM
There was a young girl from Devizes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 08, 2007, 09:57:06 AM
There was a young girl from Devizes
who liked knobs of all shapes and sizes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 08, 2007, 10:06:42 AM
There was a young girl from Devizes
who liked knobs of all shapes and sizes
She’d polish and buff ‘em
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 08, 2007, 10:29:35 AM
There was a young girl from Devizes
who liked knobs of all shapes and sizes
She’d polish and buff ‘em
with fluff from her muff, then
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 08, 2007, 10:48:52 AM
There was a young girl from Devizes
who liked knobs of all shapes and sizes
She’d polish and buff ‘em
with fluff from her muff, then
give them a rub on her thighses.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 08, 2007, 10:52:51 AM
Devizes was wiped off the map
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 08, 2007, 02:14:58 PM
Devizes was wiped off the map
Which left one helluva gap
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 09, 2007, 03:52:50 AM
Devizes was wiped off the map
Which left one helluva gap
I won’t miss the dump
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 09, 2007, 04:00:16 AM
Devizes was wiped off the map
Which left one helluva gap
I won’t miss the dump
No matter how plump
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 09, 2007, 04:19:46 AM
Devizes was wiped off the map
Which left one helluva gap
”I won’t miss the dump
No matter how plump,”
Said the gal with the big fury flaps.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 09, 2007, 04:47:18 AM
(Bofh -> bastard operator from hell. Lart -> luser attitude re-adjustment tool. Luser -> looser/user.)

A mad Bofh was wielding his lart
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 09, 2007, 07:11:24 AM
A mad Bofh was wielding his lart
Whilst eating a jammy dodger tart
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Pippie on November 09, 2007, 07:28:00 AM
A mad Bofh was wielding his lart
Whilst eating a jammy dodger tart
He stuck in his thumb
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 09, 2007, 08:13:22 AM
A mad Bofh was wielding his lart
Whilst dodging a big jammy tart
He stuck out his thumb
which is kinda dumb
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 09, 2007, 09:17:24 AM
A mad Bofh was wielding his lart
Whilst dodging a big jammy tart
He stuck out his thumb
which is kinda dumb
Then let out a thunderous fart.

There, I said it.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 09, 2007, 10:15:40 AM
A lady from North Carolina
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: allyrose on November 09, 2007, 10:21:39 AM
A lady from North Carolina
Dreamed of going to China
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 09, 2007, 10:45:57 AM
A lady from North Carolina
Dreamed of going to China -
Town in New York
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 09, 2007, 11:27:52 AM
A lady from North Carolina
Dreamed of going to China -
Town in New York
Sat on a stork
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 09, 2007, 11:42:21 AM
A lady from North Carolina
Dreamed of going to China -
Town in New York
Sat on a stork
eating pork with a forking designer.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 09, 2007, 11:44:10 AM
A crabby, old teacher from Surrey
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 09, 2007, 12:13:48 PM
A crabby, old teacher from Surrey
bathed her bunions in onions and curry
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Xerika on November 09, 2007, 08:41:09 PM
A crabby, old teacher from Surrey
bathed her bunions in onions and curry
The pain was intense
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: allyrose on November 09, 2007, 08:48:42 PM
A crabby, old teacher from Surrey
bathed her bunions in onions and curry
The pain was intense
She lost all sense
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 10, 2007, 08:43:18 AM
A crabby, old teacher from Surrey
bathed her bunions in onions and curry
The pain was intense
she lost all her sense
of smell and her tongue went all fury.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 10, 2007, 11:07:15 AM
He pimped haiku all over the board
and hoped that it might strike a chord.
So please don’t be mean
‘cos it’s just seventeen
syllables that you need to record.

Please try poetry challenge #8

http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=11217.msg112340#msg112340
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 12, 2007, 07:05:47 AM
A very fat lady from Tring
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 12, 2007, 08:14:12 AM
A very fat lady from Tring
held her belly in check with some string
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 12, 2007, 08:48:29 AM
A very fat lady from Tring
held her belly in check with some string
When the string was plucked
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 12, 2007, 09:34:40 AM
A very fat lady from Tring
held her belly in check with some string
When the string was plucked
she was sure to get … hurt  ;)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 12, 2007, 11:02:44 AM
A very fat lady from Tring
held her belly in check with some string
When the string was plucked
she was sure to get … hurt 
And her clothes would fall off with PING!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 12, 2007, 04:18:07 PM
There was a man from Nantucket
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: allyrose on November 12, 2007, 05:28:45 PM
There was a man from Nantucket
Who placed his teeth in a bucket
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 12, 2007, 06:18:52 PM
There was a man from Nantucket
Who placed his teeth in a bucket
When his wife asked him why
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 13, 2007, 02:21:56 AM
There was a man from Nantucket
Who placed his teeth in a bucket
When his wife asked him why
he started to cry
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on November 13, 2007, 04:08:08 AM
There was a man from Nantucket
Who placed his teeth in a bucket
When his wife asked him why
he started to cry
'cause without them it's easier to suck it.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 13, 2007, 04:15:32 AM
So he sucked it and nadjered his back
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 13, 2007, 08:02:55 AM
So he sucked it and nadjered his back
And prepared for a frontal attack
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 13, 2007, 08:12:27 AM
So he sucked it and nadjered his back
And prepared for a frontal attack
But the caribou dithered
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 13, 2007, 10:46:49 AM
So he sucked it and nadjered his back
And prepared for a frontal attack
But the caribou dithered
Down the big slope Jack slithered
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on November 13, 2007, 01:14:35 PM
So he sucked it and nadjered his back
And prepared for a frontal attack
But the caribou dithered
Down the big slope Jack slithered
wearing nowt except his grubby Mac.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 14, 2007, 04:07:04 AM
A warty and obstinate crone 

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 14, 2007, 04:17:01 AM
A warty and obstinate crone
had a warty erogenous zone
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 14, 2007, 04:30:46 AM
Doesn't your imagination ever climb above the waistline?

A warty and obstinate crone
had a warty erogenous zone
When applying an ointment
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 14, 2007, 05:31:40 AM
A warty and obstinate crone
had a warty erogenous zone
When applying an ointment
From a doctor's appointment
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 14, 2007, 05:51:58 AM
A warty and obstinate crone
had a warty erogenous zone
When applying an ointment
From a doctor's appointment
The doctor urged ‘Please do that at home’
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 14, 2007, 08:57:38 AM
This limerick thread just hasn’t been the same since they moved it. It’s as if all the life has gone out of it. As if a passing vampire had bit into its neck and drained away all the blood leaving a pale and lifeless corpse all floppy on the carpet. It feels like yesterday’s leftovers dumped into forgotten backwater. Does anyone know it’s here? Or are limericks just a bit too old hat now? Doesn’t anyone care about the young man from Peru or the old woman from Ealing or the two headed lady from Brest?

It's tumbleweed city.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Amie on November 14, 2007, 11:20:36 AM
I wondered about that (yes, it's truw, I do wonder about such things).  I wonder (for example) if a contributing factor isn't this thing about the person who furnished the last line doesn't now supply the next line of the new limerick.  People like to end them, but may be less keen to start a fresh new one (has the report for the limerick technical subcommittee been published yet?)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 14, 2007, 01:41:56 PM
Well dumbing down has eventually reached MWC and now all the dudes are playing "Help write a story, 5 words at a time" rather than writing limericks.

A three breasted woman from Brest


Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: allyrose on November 14, 2007, 01:55:43 PM
A three breasted woman from Brest
Did put her man to the test
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on November 14, 2007, 02:11:59 PM
A three breasted woman from Brest
Did put her man to the test
You must sire triplets
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 14, 2007, 02:27:06 PM
A three breasted woman from Brest
Did put her man to the test
You must sire triplets
or one brat and two pets
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 14, 2007, 03:11:05 PM
A three breasted woman from Brest
Did put her man to the test
You must sire triplets
or one brat and two pets
And I'll gladly furnish the chest


I tend to agree with Sir Nigel. Did I just say that? I barely know the man.  ;) Nonetheless, I agree that the old limerick thread was much more lively for some reason.

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 14, 2007, 03:38:13 PM
I was tripping in tubleweed city
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 14, 2007, 03:58:06 PM
I was tripping in tumbleweed city
Feeling all dressed up and pretty
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 14, 2007, 03:59:32 PM
I was tripping in tumbleweed city
Feeling all dressed up and pretty
when Peruvian Pete
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 14, 2007, 04:15:21 PM
I was tripping in tumbleweed city
Feeling all dressed up and pretty
When Peruvian Pete
Looking quite neat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 14, 2007, 05:47:29 PM
I was tripping in tumbleweed city
Feeling all dressed up and pretty
When Peruvian Pete
Looking quite neat
joined the limerick club sub-committee
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 15, 2007, 03:55:03 AM
There once was a girl in hotpants
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 15, 2007, 04:38:16 AM
There once was a girl in hotpants
Who could be seen each night in France
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 15, 2007, 05:02:55 AM
There once was a girl in hotpants
Who could be seen each night in France
Her vast derriere
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Pippie on November 15, 2007, 05:06:52 AM
There once was a girl in hotpants
Who could be seen each night in France
Her vast derriere
Was covered in hair
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 15, 2007, 05:12:31 AM
There once was a girl in hotpants
Who could be seen each night in France
Her vast derriere
Was covered in hair
which fell to the floor as she danced
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 15, 2007, 11:28:27 AM
An actor stood frozen on stage
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: allyrose on November 15, 2007, 11:36:38 AM
An actor stood frozen on stage
As the words blurred on the page
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CarrieSheppard on November 15, 2007, 11:41:40 AM
An actor stood frozen on stage
As the words blurred on the page
When the curtain came down
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 15, 2007, 12:36:33 PM
An actor stood frozen on stage
As the words blurred on the page
When the curtain came down
He acted the clown
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 15, 2007, 01:34:12 PM
An actor stood frozen on stage
As the words blurred on the page
When the curtain came down
He acted the clown
when he should have been acting his age.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 16, 2007, 06:03:02 AM
Whilst flashing one day in the park
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 16, 2007, 06:31:06 AM
Whilst flashing one day in the park
I decided that just for a lark
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 16, 2007, 06:46:17 AM
Whilst flashing one day in the park
I decided that just for a lark
I would buy a cream scone
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 16, 2007, 06:55:35 AM
Whilst flashing one day in the park
I decided that just for a lark
I would buy a cream scone
and then use my phone
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 16, 2007, 07:22:03 AM
Whilst flashing one day in the park
I decided that just for a lark
I would buy a cream scone
and then use my phone
As a light to see after dark

Whilst watching the telly with Ned
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 16, 2007, 07:53:51 AM
Whilst watching the telly with Ned
and fellating his half brother Ted
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Stupot on November 16, 2007, 11:18:11 AM
Whilst watching the telly with Ned
and fellating his half brother Ted
Their mother walked in
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 16, 2007, 01:07:52 PM
Whilst watching the telly with Ned
and fellating his half brother Ted
Their mother walked in
with her foul smelling twin
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 16, 2007, 05:21:26 PM
Whilst watching the telly with Ned
and fellating his half brother Ted
Their mother walked in
with her foul smelling twin
And told them to get off to bed.

Gyppo and the Grinch were elated
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 16, 2007, 06:29:09 PM
Gyppo and the Grinch were elated
when they found that they were related
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: allyrose on November 16, 2007, 06:49:17 PM
Gyppo and the Grinch were elated
When they found that they were related
The both stamped their feet
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 16, 2007, 10:54:58 PM
Gyppo and the Grinch were elated
When they found that they were related
The both stamped their feet
Until they were beat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Amie on November 17, 2007, 12:13:40 AM
Gyppo and the Grinch were elated
When they found that they were related
The both stamped their feet
Until they were beat
and their love for each other was sated
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 17, 2007, 03:21:16 AM
Lin was testing a new Toyota Prius   (Got it this week end only and so far it's great!!)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 17, 2007, 05:37:15 AM
Lin was testing a new Toyota Prius   
And soon had everyone jealous   (I'm trying here.  Most dictionaries don't have a
                                                word to match Prius **pronounced pree-us**)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 17, 2007, 08:04:52 AM
Could be "See us"  Free us,




Lin was testing a new Toyota Prius   
And soon had everyone jealous
This car's state of the art
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Pippie on November 17, 2007, 12:01:35 PM
Lin was testing a new Toyota Prius   
And soon had everyone jealous
This car's state of the art
A tiny carbon fart
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 17, 2007, 01:23:51 PM
Lin was testing a new Toyota Prius   
And soon had everyone jealous
This car's state of the art
A tiny carbon fart
But a neat new to see us.

Tom asked Sally Brown to dance
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: ellie on November 17, 2007, 01:49:21 PM
Tom asked Sally Brown to dance
So around the room they did prance
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: allyrose on November 17, 2007, 01:53:26 PM
Tom asked Sally Brown to dance
So around the room they did prance
Their steps were so light
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 17, 2007, 03:05:46 PM
Tom asked Sally Brown to dance
So around the room they did prance
Their steps were so light
and Tom's patter so trite
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on November 17, 2007, 04:52:25 PM
Tom asked Sally Brown to dance
So around the room they did prance
Their steps were so light
and Tom's patter so trite
that Sally ran home to The Manse.

Gyppo strolled out to do research
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 17, 2007, 05:01:34 PM
Gyppo strolled out to do research
And was careful not to leave his perch
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 17, 2007, 05:07:40 PM
Gyppo strolled out to do research
And was careful not to leave his perch
or his pike or his tench
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 17, 2007, 05:09:39 PM
Gyppo strolled out to do research
And was careful not to leave his perch
or his pike or his tench
for the cost of a wrench
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 18, 2007, 03:11:00 AM
No need to start a new limerick on this thread see the rules.

Lin x
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on November 18, 2007, 06:05:00 AM
Very true, M'dear.  But the rules don't specify that one may not, do they?

If you give some people an inch they'll take 25 millimetres without turning a hair.

Gyppo
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 18, 2007, 06:40:02 AM
Sorry NP I couldn’t do anything with your wrench

Gyppo strolled out to do research
And was careful not to leave his perch
or his pike or his tench
cos the dead fishy stench
might result in three strokes of the birch.

It is no good bemoaning bad luck
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 18, 2007, 06:47:26 AM
(No worries, C.  I gave it a it shot, that's all.  :D )

It is no good bemoaning bad luck
It's like getting hit by a truck
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 18, 2007, 07:09:38 AM
It is no good bemoaning bad luck
It's like getting hit by a truck -
driver’s wife with big hands
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 18, 2007, 09:30:18 AM
It is no good bemoaning bad luck
It's like getting hit by a truck -
driver’s wife with big hands
and exceedingly large glands
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Amie on November 18, 2007, 12:15:44 PM
It is no good bemoaning bad luck
It's like getting hit by a truck -
driver’s wife with big hands
and exceedingly large glands
which get in the way when you have sexual intercourse

She was lim'ricking in grand Gyppo fashion
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 18, 2007, 12:25:47 PM
She was lim'ricking in grand Gyppo fashion
lots of goats but with little compassion
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Amie on November 18, 2007, 12:57:24 PM
She was lim'ricking in grand Gyppo fashion
lots of goats but with little compassion
the rhyme took a turn
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 18, 2007, 01:31:02 PM
She was lim'ricking in grand Gyppo fashion
lots of goats but with little compassion
the rhyme took a turn
she said, “Goats I will spurn
and ferrets I’ll probably ration.”
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on November 18, 2007, 02:20:18 PM
Citabria was looping his plane
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 18, 2007, 02:35:25 PM
Citabria was looping his plane
when the wings fell off once again
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on November 18, 2007, 02:40:44 PM
Citabria was looping his plane
when the wings fell off once again,
"All this negative 'G'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 18, 2007, 04:16:15 PM
Citabria was looping his plane
when the wings fell off once again,
"All this negative 'G'
means my plane’s now debris
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on November 18, 2007, 06:09:45 PM
Citabria was looping his plane
when the wings fell off once again,
"All this negative 'G'
means my plane’s now debris
but my 'Chute it will save me much pain.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: allyrose on November 18, 2007, 06:29:55 PM
There once was a maiden from France
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 19, 2007, 02:45:27 AM
There once was a maiden from France
Who said the Can Can she could dance
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 19, 2007, 03:39:27 AM
There once was a maiden from France
Who said the Can Can she could dance.
But with only one leg
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 19, 2007, 05:43:15 AM
There once was a maiden from France
Who said the Can Can she could dance.
But with only one leg
And no hard boiled egg
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 19, 2007, 05:48:15 AM
There once was a maiden from France
Who said the Can Can she could dance.
But with only one leg
And no hard boiled egg
there was limited scope for romance.

My butler was towelling me down
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 19, 2007, 06:13:01 AM
My butler was towelling me down
Whilst dressed in a long sequined gown
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 19, 2007, 06:23:36 AM
My butler was towelling me down
Whilst dressed in a long sequined gown.
He had lovely pink eyes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 19, 2007, 06:42:19 AM
My butler was towelling me down
Whilst dressed in a long sequined gown
He had lovely pink eyes
And this cunning disguise
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on November 19, 2007, 06:44:14 AM
My butler was towelling me down
Whilst dressed in a long sequined gown.
He had lovely pink eyes
as with flutters and and sighs
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 19, 2007, 07:23:05 AM
My butler was towelling me down
Whilst dressed in a long sequined gown.
When to my surprise
he removed his disguise
and revealed it was old Gordon Brown.

I baptized my new goat Sir Arnold
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 19, 2007, 09:00:08 AM
I baptized my new goat Sir Arnold
Sir Nigel said it should have been Harold
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 19, 2007, 09:50:39 AM
I baptized my new goat Sir Arnold
Sir Nigel said it should have been Harold
But no matter what
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 19, 2007, 11:35:37 AM
I baptized my new goat Sir Arnold
Sir Nigel said it should have been Harold
But no matter what
He sat on his butt
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 19, 2007, 01:54:06 PM
I baptized my new goat Sir Arnold
Sir Nigel said it should have been Harold
But no matter what
He sat on his butt
and insisted Arnold was annulled.

A juggler was juggling wild cats
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on November 19, 2007, 03:01:26 PM
A juggler was juggling wild cats
in a pattern of nine, mixed with Rats
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 19, 2007, 03:10:17 PM
A juggler was juggling wild cats
in a pattern of nine, mixed with rats
but a cat ate a rat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on November 19, 2007, 03:20:36 PM
A juggler was juggling wild cats
in a pattern of nine, mixed with rats
but a cat ate a rat
and then dropped with a 'Splat'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 19, 2007, 04:10:04 PM
A juggler was juggling wild cats
in a pattern of nine, mixed with rats
but a cat ate a rat
and then dropped with a 'Splat'
so the juggler thought he might try bats.

A gay vampire from Norwich was outed
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Xerika on November 19, 2007, 08:07:15 PM
A gay vampire from Norwich was outed
So he pursed up his lips and just pouted
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 19, 2007, 08:09:39 PM
A gay vampire from Norwich was outed
So he pursed up his lips and just pouted
Some day, he vowed, I will win
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: allyrose on November 19, 2007, 08:17:51 PM
A gay vampire from Norwich was outed
So he pursed up his lips and just pouted
Some day, he vowed, I will win
By the hair on my chinny, chin, chin
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Xerika on November 19, 2007, 08:32:08 PM
A gay vampire from Norwich was outed
So he pursed up his lips and just pouted
Some day, he vowed, I will win
By the hair on my chinny, chin, chin
But still Clause 28'll be spouted
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Xerika on November 19, 2007, 08:33:34 PM
They called for an early election
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 19, 2007, 09:05:31 PM
They called for an early election
All due to Sir Nigel's selection
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 20, 2007, 03:31:41 AM
They called for an early election
All due to Sir Nigel's selection
as gay lord of the week
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 20, 2007, 07:13:03 AM
They called for an early election
All due to Sir Nigel's selection
As gay lord of the week
He tried to appear meek
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 20, 2007, 09:00:20 AM
They called for an early election
All due to Sir Nigel's selection
As gay lord of the week
He tried to appear meek
as he courted the publics affection.

N.P. had a fest'ring infection
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Amie on November 20, 2007, 09:24:17 AM
N.P. had a fest'ring infection
that he dealt with in some circumspection
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 20, 2007, 09:46:34 AM
N.P. had a fest'ring infection
that he dealt with in some circumspection.
So to staunch the decay
he bathed it each day
and gave it a thorough inspection.


Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 20, 2007, 05:58:05 PM
Sir Nigel was missing in action
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on November 20, 2007, 06:23:31 PM
Sir Nigel was missing in action
'til discovered with both legs in traction
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Xerika on November 20, 2007, 09:02:19 PM
Sir Nigel was missing in action
'til discovered with both legs in traction
Which came as a shock
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 20, 2007, 11:10:33 PM
Sir Nigel was missing in action
'til discovered with both legs in traction
Which came as a shock
When he looked at his...(rooster)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 20, 2007, 11:56:12 PM
Sir Nigel was missing in action
'til discovered with both legs in traction
Which came as a shock
When he looked at his...(rooster)
He then ordered a retraction

DGSquared sat working her table
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 21, 2007, 03:10:51 AM
DGSquared sat working her table
With the cat on her knee, named Mabel,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 21, 2007, 03:23:24 AM
DGSquared sat working her table
With the cat on her knee, named Mabel,
As she stroked her warm pussy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 21, 2007, 03:29:47 AM
DGSquared sat working her table
With the cat on her knee, named Mabel,
As she stroked her warm pussy
She hummed a tune from Debusie  (apologies for the mispelling)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 21, 2007, 03:35:58 AM
DGSquared sat working her table
With the cat on her knee, named Mabel,
As she stroked her warm pussy
She hummed a tune from Debussy
Who was born, as you know, in a stable 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 21, 2007, 04:23:43 AM
Sir Nigel was out riding one day
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 21, 2007, 04:45:46 AM
Sir Nigel was out riding one day
Carelessly picking his teeth with hay
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 21, 2007, 04:52:38 AM
Sir Nigel was out riding one day
Carelessly picking his teeth with hay
Suddenly at the turn in the road
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 21, 2007, 06:15:00 AM
Sir Nigel was out riding one day
Carelessly picking his teeth with hay
Suddenly at the turn in the road
He spotted a rare breed of Yellow-Spotted Amazonian Tree Toad - sitting on a log it was. And ribbitting.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on November 21, 2007, 11:46:10 AM
Sir Nigel was out riding one day
Carelessly picking his teeth with hay
Suddenly at the turn in the road
He spotted a rare breed of Yellow-Spotted Amazonian Tree Toad - sitting on a log it was. And ribbitting.
"Stand and deliver.  Now pay."
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: allyrose on November 21, 2007, 11:54:01 AM
Are we looking forward to winter?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 21, 2007, 12:11:39 PM
Are we looking forward to winter?
"I hate ice," said the one legged sprinter.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 21, 2007, 02:58:51 PM
Are we looking forward to winter?
"I hate ice," said the one legged sprinter.
His lane was like glass
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 21, 2007, 03:15:53 PM
Are we looking forward to winter?
"I hate ice," said the one legged sprinter.
His lane was like glass
and he fell on his ass
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on November 21, 2007, 06:12:23 PM
Are we looking forward to winter?
"I hate ice," said the one legged sprinter.
His lane was like glass
and he fell on his ass
and thus buggered himself on a splinter.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 22, 2007, 01:51:17 AM
Dick and Jane were at the beach one day
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 22, 2007, 02:16:15 AM
Dick and Jane were at the beach one day
Frolicking in sand instead of hay
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 22, 2007, 02:55:05 AM
Dick and Jane were at the beach one day
Frolicking in sand instead of hay
when Dick found his dick
in a small oil slick
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 22, 2007, 03:51:19 AM
Hang on Citabria can we have just one line from you? Give the others a chance at the middle bit!! LOL

 Thanks
 Lin
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 22, 2007, 04:24:44 AM
Dick and Jane were at the beach one day
Frolicking in sand instead of hay
when Dick found his dick
in a small oil slick
and soon found himself short of pay

Lin rightfully took Citabria to task   (LOL!!!  Coudln't resist it!  LOL!!!  :D )
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 22, 2007, 04:29:25 AM
Lin

What happened was this ... Sir Nigel has become totally addicted to this thread (in fact I think he is a limerick addict) and he phoned me this morning (he is off on some grouse shoot or seal clubbing bash or something) and asked me to read the latest entry to him. I did and he became agitated because he had a good next line but was not near a PC and so unable to add it. So he asked me to do it for him by proxy.

So although it appears to have been added by me, it is actually a Sir Nigel line and hence fully complies with the rules of the thread.

Citabria



Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 22, 2007, 04:33:13 AM
I was writing some lim'ricks by proxy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 22, 2007, 04:34:20 AM
I was writing some lim'ricks by proxy
And this line's not me, it is foxy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 22, 2007, 04:38:43 AM
I was writing some lim'ricks by proxy
And this line's not me, it is foxy
and this shorter line
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 22, 2007, 04:38:57 AM
I was writing some lim'ricks by proxy
And this line's not me, it is foxy
and this shorter line
is by saturnine
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 22, 2007, 04:48:24 AM
I was writing some lim'ricks by proxy
And this line's not me, it is foxy
and this shorter line
is by saturnine
I admit this is unorthodoxy (sorry best I could do)  ;D
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 22, 2007, 05:48:11 AM
Hi Citab,

Now I understand, yeah its very addictive this limerick stuff.  Love ya all though, some great cameraderie in there.


Under leaves in the woods was a Panda

Lin x
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 22, 2007, 06:37:07 AM
Under leaves in the woods was a Panda
car, 2 dead cops wearing hats and a
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Pippie on November 22, 2007, 01:27:27 PM
Under leaves in the woods was a Panda
car, 2 dead cops wearing hats and a
bra, 1 cup each
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 22, 2007, 01:31:15 PM
Under leaves in the woods was a Panda
car, 2 dead cops wearing hats and a
bra, 1 cup each
Just out of reach
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 22, 2007, 01:53:00 PM
(Not sure if non-brits know what a Panda car is. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panda_car)

Under leaves in the woods was a Panda
car, 2 dead cops wearing hats and a
bra, 1 cup each
Just out of reach
of that cross dressing monk from Uganda.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 22, 2007, 02:16:07 PM
A drag queen from Union Station
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Xerika on November 22, 2007, 05:16:46 PM
A drag queen from Union Station
Decided to take a vacation
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 22, 2007, 10:38:18 PM
A drag queen from Union Station
Decided to take a vacation
He boarded a train
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Amie on November 23, 2007, 02:02:59 AM
A drag queen from Union Station
Decided to take a vacation
He boarded a train
dressed up like Lorraine
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 23, 2007, 02:11:07 AM
A drag queen from Union Station
Decided to take a vacation
He boarded a train
dressed up like Lorraine
Much to his mother's vexation
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Pippie on November 23, 2007, 05:37:19 AM
There once was a mangy merkin,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 23, 2007, 05:58:34 AM
There once was a mangy old merkin,
that smelt like a McDonalds gerkin
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Pippie on November 23, 2007, 10:09:30 AM
There once was a mangy old merkin, (thanks I forgot my 'old') ;D
that smelt like a McDonalds gerkin
viewed with horror and fear
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 23, 2007, 11:25:32 AM
There once was a mangy old merkin,
that smelt like a McDonalds gerkin
viewed with horror and fear
by all that went near
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Xerika on November 23, 2007, 07:52:48 PM
There once was a mangy old merkin,
that smelt like a McDonalds gerkin
viewed with horror and fear
by all that went near
but the flies didn't find it too irkin'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 23, 2007, 08:33:21 PM
A Holiday shopper went shopping
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 24, 2007, 03:51:27 AM
A Holiday shopper went shopping
to that funky mall jazz he was boppin'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 24, 2007, 04:24:42 AM
A Holiday shopper went shopping
to that funky mall jazz he was boppin'
as he bought all his gifts with care
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 24, 2007, 05:13:41 AM
NP, Ideally you want 5 or 6 syllables in L3/L4. So L3 works with either of these (the emboldened words have stress):

he bought gifts with care

OR

he bought gifts with great care

If that helps fine, if it is no help then no problem just keep adding whatever lines sound good to you  ;)


A Holiday shopper went shopping
to that funky mall jazz he was boppin'
he bought gifts with great care
then with five bucks to spare
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 24, 2007, 01:57:37 PM
A Holiday shopper went shopping
to that funky mall jazz he was boppin'
he bought gifts with great care
then with five bucks to spare
Discovered his trousers were droppin'  :o
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Xerika on November 24, 2007, 08:38:34 PM
As Castor did once say to Pollux
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on November 24, 2007, 08:42:07 PM
As Castor did once say to Pollux
"Do you fancy some Greek style frolics?"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 24, 2007, 09:28:22 PM
As Castor did once say to Pollux
"Do you fancy some Greek style frolics?"
Put his thumb in his ear
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on November 24, 2007, 10:13:48 PM
As Castor did once say to Pollux
"Do you fancy some Greek style frolics?"
Put his thumb in his ear,
elevated his rear,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 25, 2007, 03:50:19 AM
As Castor did once say to Pollux
"Do you fancy some Greek style frolics?"
Put his thumb in his ear,
elevated his rear,
and smeared Feta all over his sandwich.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 25, 2007, 04:44:47 AM
Whilst Tabby was milking a rat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 25, 2007, 06:53:31 AM
Whilst Tabby was milking a rat
he wondered if it was true that
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Pippie on November 25, 2007, 02:11:57 PM
Whilst Tabby was milking a rat
he wondered if it was true that
all dairy was bad
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 25, 2007, 02:33:17 PM
Whilst Tabby was milking a rat
he wondered if it was true that
all dairy was bad?
cos if so he'd be sad,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 25, 2007, 05:28:46 PM
Whilst Tabby was milking a rat
he wondered if it was true that
all dairy was bad?
cos if so he'd be sad,
Swimming in a vat full of fat!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 25, 2007, 05:32:24 PM
A seven-toed medieval squire
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on November 25, 2007, 05:33:49 PM
A seven-toed medieval squire
was 'burned for a witch' on a Pyre
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 26, 2007, 03:03:00 AM
A seven-toed medieval squire
was 'burned for a witch' on a Pyre
and while his toes frazzled
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Pippie on November 26, 2007, 04:48:38 AM
A seven-toed medieval squire
was 'burned for a witch' on a Pyre
and while his toes frazzled
His doublet dazzled
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 26, 2007, 05:00:13 AM
A seven-toed medieval squire
was 'burned for a witch' on a Pyre
and while his toes frazzled
His doublet dazzled
He cried out, "your fate will be as dire!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 26, 2007, 05:01:53 AM
Snow White was looking for her man
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 26, 2007, 05:10:24 AM
Snow White was looking for her man
he's a sunbathing dwarf with a tan
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 26, 2007, 05:16:55 AM
Snow White was looking for her man
he's a sunbathing dwarf with a tan
This bronzed little chappie
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 26, 2007, 05:34:40 AM
Snow White was looking for her man
he's a sunbathing dwarf with a tan
This bronzed little chappie
is the one they call Happy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 26, 2007, 06:05:21 AM
Snow White was looking for her man
he's a sunbathing dwarf with a tan
This bronzed little chappie
is the one they call Happy
Cos she does him whenever she can
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 26, 2007, 06:11:42 AM
Mrs Hubbard had run out of bones
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 26, 2007, 06:13:37 AM
Mrs Hubbard had run out of bones
so she gave the poor doggy some stones
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 26, 2007, 07:35:27 AM
Mrs Hubbard had run out of bones
so she gave the poor doggy some Stones
- the famous best bitter
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 26, 2007, 07:39:37 AM
Mrs Hubbard had run out of bones
so she gave the poor doggy some Stones
- the famous best bitter
and the pooch no quitter
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 26, 2007, 08:31:44 AM
Mrs Hubbard had run out of bones
so she gave the poor doggy some Stones
- the famous best bitter
and the pooch no quitter
Would then probe her erogenous zones
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 26, 2007, 11:06:25 AM
Miss Muffet's tuffet was destroyed
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: allyrose on November 26, 2007, 11:41:52 AM
Miss Muffet's tuffet was detroyed
The spider was very annoyed
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Pippie on November 26, 2007, 02:38:42 PM
Miss Muffet's tuffet was detroyed
The spider was very annoyed
"I'm sick of these curds!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Amie on November 26, 2007, 03:03:06 PM
Miss Muffet's tuffet was detroyed
The spider was very annoyed
"I'm sick of these curds!
They taste just like turds!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on November 26, 2007, 03:38:33 PM
Miss Muffet's tuffet was detroyed
The spider was very annoyed
"I'm sick of these curds!
They taste just like turds!"
My pleasure is not unalloyed.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 26, 2007, 03:42:06 PM
I was gluing some snails to my waist
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on November 26, 2007, 03:45:36 PM
I was gluing some snails to my waist (You're a strange fellow)
a task best not done in great haste
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Xerika on November 26, 2007, 03:56:40 PM
I was gluing some snails to my waist (You're a strange fellow)
a task best not done in great haste
cos if you do it too quick
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 26, 2007, 04:15:10 PM
These limericks aren't true surely?

I was gluing some snails to my waist
a task best not done in great haste
cos if you do it too quick
the buggers won't stick
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 26, 2007, 04:27:16 PM
I was gluing some snails to my waist
a task best not done in great haste
cos if you do it too quick
the buggers won't stick
Then you're stuck with that terrible taste
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: allyrose on November 26, 2007, 05:29:52 PM
The snows of winter are upon us
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 26, 2007, 06:01:15 PM
The snows of winter are upon us
so put on your coat like a big wuss
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 26, 2007, 06:51:05 PM
The snows of winter are upon us
so put on your coat like a big wuss
Your big fluffy hats
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 27, 2007, 02:55:48 AM
The snows of winter are upon us
so put on your coat like a big wuss
Your big fluffy hats
made from recycled cats
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 27, 2007, 03:04:41 AM
The snows of winter are upon us
so put on your coat like a big wuss
Your big fluffy hats
made from recycled cats
No longer serve the poor kitty-puss
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 27, 2007, 04:23:52 AM
They met on a loo made for two
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 27, 2007, 04:51:18 AM
They met on a loo made for two
He said, 'Hey baby don’t I know you?'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 27, 2007, 05:17:34 AM
They met on a loo made for two
He said, 'Hey baby don’t I know you?'
She said, "It's impolite
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 27, 2007, 05:21:30 AM
They met on a loo made for two
He said, 'Hey baby don’t I know you?'
She said, "It's impolite
- there’s the gents on the right”
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 27, 2007, 05:26:05 AM
They met on a loo made for two
He said, 'Hey baby don’t I know you?'
She said, "It's impolite
- there’s the gents on the right -
now get out while I finish my poo!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 27, 2007, 05:29:55 AM
Whilst plumbing new depths of bad taste
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 27, 2007, 05:34:25 AM
Whilst plumbing new depths of bad taste
my snorkel got filled with foul waste
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 27, 2007, 05:40:36 AM
Whilst plumbing new depths of bad taste
my snorkel got filled with foul waste
‘Mrs Briggs!’ I exclaimed.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 27, 2007, 05:45:36 AM
Whilst plumbing new depths of bad taste
my snorkel got filled with foul waste
‘Mrs Briggs!’ I exclaimed.
'You should be ashamed.'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 27, 2007, 05:53:07 AM
Whilst plumbing new depths of bad taste
my snorkel got filled with foul waste
‘Mrs Briggs!’ I exclaimed.
'You should be ashamed.
That’s the worst tasting waste I have faced'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 27, 2007, 05:59:45 AM
I'd planned an alfresco soirée
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 27, 2007, 06:32:43 AM
I'd planned an alfresco soirée
But the rhyme would not come to me
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 27, 2007, 06:36:23 AM
I'd planned an alfresco soirée
For my friends who love classical ballet


there
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 27, 2007, 06:39:19 AM
I'd planned an alfresco soirée
For my friends who love classical ballet
I expected Margot
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 27, 2007, 06:59:46 AM
I'd planned an alfresco soirée
For my friends who love classical ballet
I expected Margo

Take your pick:
 - in her Hyundai Largo
-  that fat lazy lardo
- to dance the Fandargo  (no such dance)
- to shag Mr Blargo (made up name)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Pippie on November 27, 2007, 07:10:30 AM
I'd planned an alfresco soirée
For my friends who love classical ballet
I expected Margo
in her Hyundai Largo  ;D
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 27, 2007, 07:46:44 AM
I'd planned an alfresco soirée
For my friends who love classical ballet
I expected Margot
in her Hyundai Largo
to make use of the drive in buffet
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 27, 2007, 07:53:58 AM
A man with a knob for a nose
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 27, 2007, 08:10:48 AM
A man with a knob for a nose
Once sold his left leg for a hose
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on November 27, 2007, 08:59:39 AM
A man with a knob for a nose
Once sold his left leg for a hose
and his kidneys for dishes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 27, 2007, 09:20:28 AM
A man with a knob for a nose
Once sold his left leg for a hose
and his kidneys for dishes
in which to keep fishes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 27, 2007, 09:57:30 AM
A man with a knob for a nose
Once sold his left leg for a hose
and his kidneys for dishes
in which to keep fishes
But what about his KNOB FOR A NOSE??
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 27, 2007, 10:04:19 AM
A man with a nose for a knob
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on November 27, 2007, 10:09:31 AM
A man with a nose for a knob
was a fat, ugly slob
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 27, 2007, 10:10:30 AM
A man with a nose for a knob
was a fat, ugly slob
you don't even know him
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 27, 2007, 02:01:42 PM
A man with a nose for a knob
was a fat, ugly slob
you don't even know him
he floats but he can't swim
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 27, 2007, 02:05:48 PM
A man with a nose for a knob
was a fat, ugly slob
you don't even know him
he floats but he can't swim
All day long he eats corn on the cob
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 27, 2007, 02:13:14 PM
Metaphor Mahoney was speechless
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Pippie on November 27, 2007, 02:55:30 PM
Metaphor Mahoney was speechless
his bot was no longer pure peachness
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 27, 2007, 03:12:00 PM
Metaphor Mahoney was speechless
his bot was no longer pure peachness
The phrase he did spew
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: allyrose on November 27, 2007, 04:46:59 PM
Metaphor Mahoney was speechless
his bot was no longer pure peachness
the phrase he did spew
Was nothing we knew
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Xerika on November 27, 2007, 07:06:35 PM
Metaphor Mahoney was speechless
his bot was no longer pure peachness
the phrase he did spew
Was nothing we knew
cos his forest was totally beechless (metaphorically speaking, that is)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 27, 2007, 09:47:29 PM
Mary O'Dowd was particularly loud
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on November 27, 2007, 09:57:30 PM
Mary O'Dowd was particularly loud
but her hubby was not well endowed
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Pippie on November 28, 2007, 04:39:47 AM
Mary O'Dowd was particularly loud
but her hubby was not well endowed
so the whole street now knew
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on November 28, 2007, 04:48:55 AM
Mary O'Dowd was particularly loud
but her hubby was not well endowed
so the whole street now knew
he had a corkscrew
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 28, 2007, 04:53:12 AM
Mary O'Dowd was particularly loud
but her hubby was not well endowed
so the whole street now knew
he had a corkscrew
of this fact he was actu'lly quite proud.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 28, 2007, 06:20:50 AM
Whilst buying a nice Christmas present
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 28, 2007, 06:39:30 AM
Whilst buying a nice Christmas present,
from a sex shop in Ashford, North Kent,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on November 28, 2007, 07:57:26 AM
Whilst buying a nice Christmas present,
from a sex shop in Ashford, North Kent,
She asked for a black one
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 28, 2007, 08:03:19 AM
Whilst buying a nice Christmas present,
from a sex shop in Ashford, North Kent,
She asked for a black one
But sadly they had none
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 28, 2007, 08:14:49 AM
Whilst buying a nice Christmas present,
from a sex shop in Ashford, North Kent,
She asked for a black one
But sadly they had none.
So she purchased some pants with a vent.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 28, 2007, 08:24:59 AM
A pixie named Dumpy McShane
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 28, 2007, 08:40:08 AM
A pixie named Dumpy McShane
treated goblins with utter disdain
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 28, 2007, 08:44:25 AM
A pixie named Dumpy McShane
treated goblins with utter disdain
He would scoff and deride
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 28, 2007, 08:49:24 AM
A pixie named Dumpy McShane
treated goblins with utter disdain
He would scoff and deride
till the girl goblins cried
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 28, 2007, 09:02:03 AM
A pixie named Dumpy McShane
treated goblins with utter disdain
He would scoff and deride
till the girl goblins cried
then a goblin girl drove him insane
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 28, 2007, 09:06:34 AM
He reclined in a recumbent posture
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 28, 2007, 10:37:28 AM
He reclined in a recumbent posture
Cos his pants were wet from the moisture
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: allyrose on November 28, 2007, 10:39:29 AM
He reclined in a recumbent posture
Cos his pants were wet from the moisture
When he realized he had to go
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 28, 2007, 10:41:53 AM
He reclined in a recumbent posture
Cos his pants were wet from the moisture
When he realized he had to go
His heart was full of woe
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 29, 2007, 01:08:26 AM
He reclined in a recumbent posture
Cos his pants were wet from the moisture
When he realized he had to go
His heart was full of woe
Coz the loo was in Southern New Gloushter
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 29, 2007, 01:09:07 AM
Jannie's mom was a red-headed peasant
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 29, 2007, 03:20:49 AM
Jannie's mom was a red-headed peasant
And her dad had the brains of a pheasant
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on November 29, 2007, 03:31:44 AM
Jannie's mom was a red-headed peasant
And her dad had the brains of a pheasant
so when they did mate
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: chillies on November 29, 2007, 03:36:25 AM
Jannie's mom was a red-headed peasant
And her dad had the brains of a pheasant
so when they did mate
the result was a spate
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 29, 2007, 03:40:00 AM
Jannie's mom was a red-headed peasant
And her dad had the brains of a pheasant
so when they did mate
the result was a spate
of loud squawks that were really unpleasant
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on November 29, 2007, 03:58:15 AM
The sexual life of the rhino
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on November 29, 2007, 04:05:44 AM
The sexual life of the rhino
does not - usually - involve Lino
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 29, 2007, 04:24:06 AM
The sexual life of the rhino
does not - usually - involve Lino
with horns on their noses
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 29, 2007, 04:26:49 AM
The sexual life of the rhino
does not - usually - involve Lino
with horns on their noses
I suppose one supposes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 29, 2007, 04:33:08 AM
The sexual life of the rhino
does not - usually - involve Lino
with horns on their noses
I suppose one supposes
They're not likely to drink too much wine-o
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 29, 2007, 04:49:46 AM
There's a girl with a curvy wazoo
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 29, 2007, 04:51:41 AM
There's a girl with a curvy wazoo
What's a wazoo? I haven't a clue.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 29, 2007, 04:53:07 AM
There's a girl with a curvy wazoo
What's a wazoo? I haven't a clue.
"It's a place you can go
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 29, 2007, 04:55:42 AM
There's a girl with a curvy wazoo
What's a wazoo? I haven't a clue.
"It's a place you can go'
-Bound to be rude, I know.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 29, 2007, 04:57:22 AM
There's a girl with a curvy wazoo
What's a wazoo? I haven't a clue.
"It's a place you can go'
-Bound to be rude, I know.
But who cares, cause it rhymes with kazoo."
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 29, 2007, 05:00:29 AM
Some men are alarmingly fast
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 29, 2007, 05:05:18 AM
Some men are alarmingly fast
and some have wazoo's that are vast!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 29, 2007, 05:06:45 AM
Some men are alarmingly fast
and some have wazoo's that are vast!
They sit on their rumps
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 29, 2007, 05:14:34 AM
Some men are alarmingly fast
and some have wazoo's that are vast!
They sit on their rumps
like baboons suff'ring mumps
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 29, 2007, 05:42:15 AM
Some men are alarmingly fast
and some have wazoo's that are vast!
They sit on their rumps
like baboons suff'ring mumps
Whilst ladies wish they could last
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 29, 2007, 05:47:17 AM
Sir Nige has a link to his lulu
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 29, 2007, 05:54:24 AM

Sir Nige has a link to his lulu
Where he has been caught speaking Zulu
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 29, 2007, 05:59:00 AM
Sir Nige has a link to his lulu
Where he has been caught speaking Zulu
Atabuli M'bongo
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 29, 2007, 06:01:38 AM
Sir Nige has a link to his lulu
Where he has been caught speaking Zulu
Atabuli M'bongo
It wasn't all wrongo
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 29, 2007, 06:07:03 AM
Sir Nige has a link to his lulu
Where he has been caught speaking Zulu
Atabuli M'bongo
It wasn't all wrongo
to bango Unbongo Zambulu
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 29, 2007, 06:10:12 AM
Whilst replenishing my stock of Swarfega
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 29, 2007, 06:15:00 AM
Whilst replenishing my stock of Swarfega
Made by Deb who once owned an orange Vega
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 29, 2007, 06:40:55 AM
Whilst replenishing my stock of Swarfega
Made by Deb who once owned an orange Vega
I considered in haste
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 29, 2007, 06:43:49 AM
Whilst replenishing my stock of Swarfega
Made by Deb who once owned an orange Vega
I considered in haste
Then I tossed it in waste
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 29, 2007, 07:17:36 AM
Whilst replenishing my stock of Swarfega
Made by Deb who once owned an orange Vega
I considered in haste
Then I tossed it in waste
cause I wanted to appear far less eager.

The Deb Swarfega thing can't be just a coincidence?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 29, 2007, 11:43:29 AM
The Deb Swarfega thing can't be just a coincidence?
I Goggled Swafega (http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&gfns=1&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1T4GFRB_enUS246US246&q=swafega) and thats what came up. I figured Sir Nigel is pretty sharp to make that connection. Then I realized I'd made a typo. Maybe it was a coincidence. I'm liking number four so much, I'm gonna use it here.

Real men should smell of Swafega and grease
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 29, 2007, 01:15:03 PM
Bit long that one - but go on see what the next person comes up with!!

Lin x
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on November 29, 2007, 05:53:56 PM
Real men should smell of Swafega and grease
and bowl maidens over with consumnate ease
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 29, 2007, 06:51:42 PM
Real men should smell of Swafega and grease
and bowl maidens over with consumnate ease
Chivalry is not dead
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 29, 2007, 07:11:57 PM
Real men should smell of Swafega and grease
and bowl maidens over with consumnate ease
Chivalry is not dead
It's over-sleeping in bed
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: allyrose on November 29, 2007, 07:17:06 PM
Real men should smell of Swafega and grease
and bowl maidens over with consumnate ease
Chivalry is not dead
It's over- sleeping in bed
Where real men do as they please
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 29, 2007, 07:21:07 PM
I was with my honey, a right nice squeeze
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on November 29, 2007, 07:26:52 PM
I was with my honey, a right nice squeeze
a bee of a lass if you please
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 29, 2007, 07:39:24 PM
I was with my honey, a right nice squeeze
a bee of a lass if you please
When she suddenly flew
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on November 29, 2007, 07:42:34 PM
I was with my honey, a right nice squeeze
a bee of a lass if you please
When she suddenly flew
it was then that I knew
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Xerika on November 29, 2007, 07:51:16 PM
I was with my honey, a right nice squeeze
a bee of a lass if you please
When she suddenly flew
it was then that I knew
she was nothing more than a tease
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on November 29, 2007, 08:57:58 PM
There was an old tart named L'Amour
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 30, 2007, 04:09:19 AM
There was an old tart named L'Amour
Whose personal hygiene was poor
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: chillies on November 30, 2007, 04:12:26 AM
There was an old tart named L'Amour
Whose personal hygiene was poor
The stench was so bad
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on November 30, 2007, 04:23:06 AM
There was an old tart named L'Amour
Whose personal hygiene was poor
The stench was so bad
She ne'er met a lad
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 30, 2007, 04:55:40 AM
There was an old tart named L'Amour
Whose personal hygiene was poor
The stench was so bad
She ne'er met a lad
bar those seeking a stinky old whore.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 30, 2007, 05:07:28 AM
Whilst rowing a boat o'er the sea
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 30, 2007, 05:19:28 AM
Whilst rowing a boat o'er the sea
with an owl, in our boat stained with pee
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 30, 2007, 07:48:00 AM
Nobody likes your second line. Nobody wants to go near it. Why not write another one without any reference to wee?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on November 30, 2007, 08:08:48 AM
Because it was a pee green boat and you have to stick to the facts! You can re-write it if you want. :)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on November 30, 2007, 08:28:51 AM
Whilst rowing a boat o'er the sea
just a pea green cat, a clown and me
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 30, 2007, 10:03:55 AM
Whilst rowing a boat o'er the sea
just a pea green cat, a clown and me
The cat got real sick
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: allyrose on November 30, 2007, 10:40:58 AM
Whilst rowing a boat o'er the sea
just a pea green cat, a clown and me
The cat got real sick
And started to lick
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on November 30, 2007, 11:47:02 AM
Whilst rowing a boat o'er the sea                        Dont read this if you are squeamish!!
just a pea green cat, a clown and me
The cat got real sick
And started to lick
Up the sick from the clown, with glee.


Eearrghh!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: allyrose on November 30, 2007, 11:52:09 AM
There was a fellow who loved to dance
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on November 30, 2007, 03:12:19 PM
There was a fellow who loved to dance
Whilst he did so he wore pink Hot-Pants
 
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 02, 2007, 02:49:10 PM
There was a fellow who loved to dance
Whilst he did so he wore pink Hot-Pants
Then a tall girl in blue
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 02, 2007, 03:08:16 PM
There was a fellow who loved to dance
Whilst he did so he wore pink Hot-Pants
Then a tall girl in blue
wearing only one shoe
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 02, 2007, 03:24:37 PM
There was a fellow who loved to dance
Whilst he did so he wore pink Hot-Pants
Then a tall girl in blue
wearing only one shoe
Took him into her arms for romance
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 03, 2007, 03:39:55 AM
A coal mining Welshman named Fox
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: rakkie on December 03, 2007, 03:56:44 AM
A coal mining Welshman named Fox
Who used to live in a box
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 03, 2007, 05:05:01 AM
A coal mining Welshman named Fox
Who used to live in a box
He hammered and he drilled
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: allyrose on December 03, 2007, 11:10:13 AM
A coal mining Welshman named Fox
Who used to live in a box
He hammered and drilled
And was actually thrilled
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Pippie on December 03, 2007, 11:25:23 AM
A coal mining Welshman named Fox
Who used to live in a box
He hammered and drilled
And was actually thrilled
When he found a Pippin his Cox
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 03, 2007, 09:16:01 PM
Some jolly soul hanging Christmas lights
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 04, 2007, 02:56:36 AM
Some jolly soul hanging Christmas lights
on a skanky old tree that had blight
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 04, 2007, 04:29:14 AM
Some jolly soul hanging Christmas lights
on a skanky old tree that had blight
Was suddenly slain
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 04, 2007, 04:44:57 AM
Some jolly soul hanging Christmas lights
on a skanky old tree that had blight
Was suddenly slain
by an elf on cocaine
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 04, 2007, 05:45:38 AM
Some jolly soul hanging Christmas lights
on a skanky old tree that had blight
Was suddenly slain
by an elf on cocaine
Yep that sure ruined Christmas alright.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 04, 2007, 06:09:35 AM
I was choosing a name for my teddy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on December 04, 2007, 06:18:16 AM
I was choosing a name for my teddy
'cos Mohammed was taken already   (It was just irresistible, as well as predictable...)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 04, 2007, 06:31:10 AM
I was choosing a name for my teddy
'cos Mohammed was taken already
I just called him Mo
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 04, 2007, 08:33:02 AM
I was choosing a name for my teddy
'cos Mohammed was taken already
I just called him Mo
But they threatened to blow
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 04, 2007, 09:57:07 AM
I was choosing a name for my teddy
'cos Mohammed was taken already
I just called him Mo
But they threatened to blow
up my house, so I just called him Eddy.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 04, 2007, 11:38:29 AM
A runner whose trainers where lifted
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 04, 2007, 11:50:55 AM
A runner whose trainers where lifted
was by chance an incredibly gifted -
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on December 04, 2007, 12:39:34 PM
A runner whose trainers where lifted
was by chance incredibly gifted
He could float in the air
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Amie on December 04, 2007, 12:53:54 PM
A runner whose trainers where lifted
was by chance incredibly gifted
He could float in the air
with remarkable flair
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: ellie on December 04, 2007, 05:13:19 PM
A runner whose trainers were lifted
was by chance incredibly gifted
he could float in the air
with remarkable flair
Over the fields he really shifted

I find all scarecrows really scary  :o
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 04, 2007, 06:18:18 PM
I find all scarecrows really scary   
Especially those that are hairy
 
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on December 04, 2007, 06:45:20 PM
I find all scarecrows really scary   
Especially those that are hairy
with large pumpkin heads
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 04, 2007, 09:00:19 PM
I find all scarecrows really scary   
Especially those that are hairy
with large pumpkin heads
and ratty old threads
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 04, 2007, 09:05:59 PM
I find all scarecrows really scary   
Especially those that are hairy
with large pumpkin heads
and ratty old threads
They look like my great uncle Mary.

A canoeist went over Niagara
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 05, 2007, 03:13:57 AM
What kind of baffoon comes up with Niagara as a rhyme?  ;D

A canoeist went over Niagara
while a German said, "mein, guten tag ja"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on December 05, 2007, 04:26:22 AM
What kind of baffoon comes up with Niagara as a rhyme?  

A canoeist went over Niagara
while a German said, "mein, guten tag ja"
as he swallowed Viagra  (The kind who was setting up a Viagra line, perhaps.)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 05, 2007, 06:41:51 AM
This limerick is RUBBISH – a total car crash of a poem.

Let me through, I’m a limeriscist. Stand aside there – give me room.

Ahem


A canoeist went over Niagara
Having taken a dose of Viagra
He’d spotted a whore
Far below on the shore
And cried ‘hang on a mo’ and I’ll shag yer’ 

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 05, 2007, 07:09:16 AM
Funny how viagra didn't even occur to me. I suppose it is cause I never need it  ;D

Two viagra popping blokes in a tub
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Amie on December 05, 2007, 07:18:38 AM
Two SPAM MESSAGE popping blokes in a tub
found themselves with SPAM MESSAGES to rub
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on December 05, 2007, 10:14:50 AM
Lets not be silly!

Auntie Lin x x x x
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 05, 2007, 12:12:12 PM
Two SPAM MESSAGE popping blokes in a tub
found themselves with SPAM MESSAGES to rub
So they took off the lid


Lets not be silly!

Auntie Lin x x x x
In a limerick thread?! Impossible. ;)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 05, 2007, 12:26:23 PM
Two SPAM MESSAGE popping blokes in a tub
found themselves with SPAM MESSAGES to rub
So they took off the lid,
removed the giant squid
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 05, 2007, 12:37:07 PM
Two SPAM MESSAGE popping blokes in a tub
found themselves with SPAM MESSAGES to rub
So they took off the lid,
removed the giant squid
turning the cephalopod mess into grub



He was a self proclaimed limeriscist
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 05, 2007, 12:54:30 PM
He was a self proclaimed limeriscist
and he spent all his time getting pissed
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: ellie on December 05, 2007, 01:24:59 PM
He was a self proclaimed limeriscist (try saying that when youve had a few..)
and he spent all his time getting pissed
"Cheers me dears" he would say
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on December 05, 2007, 01:29:06 PM
He was a self proclaimed limeriscist (try saying that when youve had a few..)
and he spent all his time getting pissed
"Cheers me dears" he would say
as he supped through the day
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 05, 2007, 01:56:47 PM
He was a self proclaimed limeriscist
and he spent all his time getting pissed
"Cheers me dears" he would say
as he supped through the day
then at night he'd have one off the wrist  :o
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 05, 2007, 02:00:59 PM
What does that mean Cita?


A green writer sat dazed and confused
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 05, 2007, 02:11:27 PM
Quote
What does that mean Cita?
It means that the limeriscist liked to masturbate.

A green writer sat dazed and confused
with one finger all swollen and bruised
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 05, 2007, 03:06:51 PM
Good grief...sorry I asked. ::)

A green writer sat dazed and confused
with one finger all swollen and bruised
last night on a date he-
 


Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 05, 2007, 03:34:20 PM
A green writer sat dazed and confused
with one finger all swollen and bruised
last night on a date he-
said, "my dear I suggest we
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on December 05, 2007, 03:40:51 PM
A green writer sat dazed and confused
with one finger all swollen and bruised
last night on a date he-
said, "my dear I suggest we
pen limericks and thus get abused.

I sat on the riverbank, fishing
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 05, 2007, 03:43:12 PM
I sat on the riverbank, fishing
'tis better to sit here than wishing
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on December 05, 2007, 03:44:27 PM
I sat on the riverbank, fishing
'tis better to sit here than wishing
for a filled bank account
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 05, 2007, 03:50:14 PM
I sat on the riverbank, fishing
'tis better to sit here than wishing
for a filled bank account
since it's now paramount
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 07, 2007, 05:47:52 AM
I sat on the riverbank, fishing
'tis better to sit here than wishing
for a filled bank account
since it's now paramount
that I pile fish on this circular dish thing
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 07, 2007, 01:40:44 PM
There was a young man with an iPod
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on December 07, 2007, 02:06:55 PM
There was a young man with an iPod
Who mounted his cookie on a tripod
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 07, 2007, 06:35:05 PM
There was a young man with an iPod
Who mounted his cookie on a tripod
His earbud popped out
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 07, 2007, 07:55:40 PM
There was a young man with an iPod
Who mounted his cookie on a tripod
His earbud popped out
When he heard his Mum shout
"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on December 07, 2007, 08:10:54 PM
There was a young man with an iPod
Who mounted his cookie on a tripod
His earbud popped out
When he heard his Mum shout
"Stop that you randy young Sod!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 07, 2007, 08:21:28 PM
A girl called Kim from Taiwan
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Amie on December 07, 2007, 10:44:54 PM
A girl called Kim from Taiwan
was dating a shifty ex-con
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 07, 2007, 10:50:29 PM
A girl called Kim from Taiwan
was dating a shifty ex-con
He 'dipped' her knickers
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 07, 2007, 11:02:31 PM
A girl called Kim from Taiwan
was dating a shifty ex-con
He 'dipped' her knickers
In with some stickers
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 08, 2007, 06:48:28 AM
A girl called Kim from Taiwan
was dating a shifty ex-con
He 'dipped' her knickers
In with some stickers
and the dish ran away with the swan.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 08, 2007, 04:23:52 PM
The girl with kaleidescope eyes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Xerika on December 08, 2007, 06:21:59 PM
The girl with kaleidescope eyes
found LSD quite a surprise
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 08, 2007, 09:05:02 PM
The girl with kaleidescope eyes
found LSD quite a surprise
She went to Woodstock
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 09, 2007, 03:51:01 AM
The girl with kaleidescope eyes
found LSD quite a surprise
She went to Woodstock
in search of some good cock (she wanted to make coq au vin)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on December 09, 2007, 05:59:17 AM
The girl with kaleidescope eyes
found LSD quite a surprise
She went to Woodstock
in search of some good cock
But found they'd run out of supplies
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 09, 2007, 06:25:10 AM
A demon with horns and a tail
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Writers Block on December 09, 2007, 11:41:01 AM
A demon with horns and a tail
and victims by the pail
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 09, 2007, 11:53:28 AM
A demon with horns and a tail
and victims by the pail
liked to use a sharp stick
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on December 09, 2007, 12:34:41 PM
A demon with horns and a tail
and victims by the pail
liked to use a sharp stick
For their nose to pick
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 09, 2007, 12:53:19 PM
A demon with horns and a tail
and victims of worth by the pail.
Liked to use a sharp stick,
for their nose to pick,
while he gouged out their eyes with a nail.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 09, 2007, 01:51:02 PM
A jolly ol' elf named St. Nick
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 09, 2007, 02:01:23 PM
A jolly ol' elf named St. Nick
was well known for the size of his hat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on December 09, 2007, 02:05:24 PM
A jolly ol' elf named St. Nick
was well known for the size of his hat
But Sinter Klaas had one bigger   See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinterklaas
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 09, 2007, 02:42:30 PM
A jolly ol' elf named St. Nick
was well known for the size of his hat
But Sinter Klaas had one bigger
which he polished with vigor
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 09, 2007, 05:03:47 PM
A jolly ol' elf named St. Nick
was well known for the size of his hat
But Sinter Klaas had one bigger
which he polished with vigor
Resulting in something quite slick (or thick if you prefer)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 09, 2007, 09:55:55 PM
DGS met a guy dressed in pink      ::)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 10, 2007, 01:07:41 AM
DGS met a guy dressed in pink     
In his hand was a pen full of ink
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 10, 2007, 01:23:22 AM
DGS met a guy dressed in pink     
In his hand was a pen full of ink
"What you writing" she asked
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 10, 2007, 02:53:16 AM
DGS met a guy dressed in pink     
In his hand was a pen full of ink
"What you writing?" she asked,
"and I like your pink basque."
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 10, 2007, 04:01:18 AM
DGS met a guy dressed in pink     
In his hand was a pen full of ink
"What you writing?" she asked,
"and I like your pink basque."
"Wanna see?" said he with a wink  ;)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 10, 2007, 04:07:22 AM
A spherical sunbathing fruit
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 10, 2007, 04:10:47 AM
A spherical sunbathing fruit
With cool sunglasses to boot
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 10, 2007, 04:45:55 AM
A spherical sunbathing fruit
With cool sunglasses to boot
was squeezed very tightly
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 10, 2007, 04:50:31 AM
A spherical sunbathing fruit
With cool sunglasses to boot
was squeezed very tightly
Daily and nightly
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 10, 2007, 05:01:40 AM
A spherical sunbathing fruit
With cool sunglasses to boot
was squeezed very tightly
Daily and nightly
till the juice, from his mouth, it would shoot.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 10, 2007, 05:03:00 AM
There was a young lady called Hannah
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on December 10, 2007, 05:12:38 AM
There was a young lady called Hannah
who adjusted men's nuts with her spanner  [ Wrench for the Colonials out there;-) ]
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 10, 2007, 06:41:38 AM
(I don’t anyone has referred to Americans as ‘colonials’ since Terry Thomas died.)  

There was a young lady called Hannah
who adjusted men's nuts with her spanner
That’s probably not true
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 10, 2007, 06:51:31 AM
There was a young lady called Hannah
who adjusted men's nuts with her spanner
That’s probably not true
twas more likely a screw
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 10, 2007, 07:01:33 AM
There was a young lady called Hannah
who adjusted men's nuts with her spanner
That’s probably not true
twas more likely a screw
which she’d give ‘em for a wink and a tanner*

*Tanner = Sixpence - for American readers.
Or two and a half new pence - for anyone born after 1971.
Or a small silver coin - for anyone suffering from dementia.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 10, 2007, 07:07:24 AM
He was admiring his new ten bob note
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on December 10, 2007, 07:10:02 AM
He was admiring his new ten bob note
For then, you could buy a new coat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 10, 2007, 07:15:22 AM
He was admiring his new ten bob note
For then you could buy a new coat
But for seven and tuppence
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 10, 2007, 07:08:06 PM
He was admiring his new ten bob note
For then you could buy a new coat
But for seven and tuppence
She got her come uppance
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 10, 2007, 07:19:58 PM
He was admiring his new ten bob note
For then you could buy a new coat
But for seven and tuppence
She got her come uppance
coz the coat had the stench of old goat.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 10, 2007, 07:23:25 PM
Citabria sat there a throbbing
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 10, 2007, 07:42:09 PM
Citabria sat there a throbbing
while the others, with envy were sobbing  :'(
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 10, 2007, 07:51:51 PM
Citabria sat there a throbbing
while the others, with envy were sobbing 
He wasn't in pain
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Xerika on December 10, 2007, 08:56:46 PM
Citabria sat there a throbbing
while the others, with envy were sobbing
He wasn't in pain
and despite of the strain
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 10, 2007, 11:05:02 PM
Citabria sat there a throbbing
while the others, with envy were sobbing
He wasn't in pain
and despite of the strain
The dolphins just kept right on bobbing
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 11, 2007, 05:30:39 AM
Lets just write something filthy and lewd
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 11, 2007, 06:07:16 AM
Lets just write something filthy and lewd
'bout a priest that spent all his time nude
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 11, 2007, 06:12:36 AM
Lets just write something filthy and lewd
'bout a priest that spent all his time nude
In the course of his frolics
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 11, 2007, 06:34:24 AM
Lets just write something filthy and lewd
'bout a priest that spent all his time nude
In the course of his frolics
he ruptured his back
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on December 11, 2007, 06:53:50 AM
Lets just write something filthy and lewd
'bout a priest that spent all his time nude
In the course of his frolics
he ruptured his back
Shouting something extremely rude
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 11, 2007, 03:50:07 PM
Take a stab a Citabria's request
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Writers Block on December 11, 2007, 05:18:50 PM
Take a stab a Citabria's request
as it is a serious behest
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on December 11, 2007, 06:04:04 PM
Take a stab a Citabria's request
as it is a serious behest
but with what should we stab it
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 11, 2007, 08:38:28 PM
Take a stab a Citabria's request
as it is a serious behest
but with what should we stab it
Take care or he'll grab it

Dilemma

Take a stab a Citabria's request
as it is a serious behest
but with what should we stab it
Monty Python's White Rabbit?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 11, 2007, 09:18:01 PM
Take a stab a Citabria's request
as it is a serious behest
but with what should we stab it
Take care or he'll grab it
He say's throbbing members are best
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 11, 2007, 09:28:58 PM
Big T claims that he still likes yellow   
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 11, 2007, 09:34:02 PM
Big T claims that he still likes yellow
"I LOVE IT" he's heard to bellow
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 11, 2007, 09:41:29 PM
Big T claims that he still likes yellow
"I LOVE IT" he's heard to bellow
A big smiling face
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: naturewalker on December 12, 2007, 02:02:57 AM

Big T claims that he still likes yellow
"I LOVE IT" he's heard to bellow
A big smiling face
Glowing gallant grace


( I am crossing my fingers for the syllable count... excuse me if I am still wrong!)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 12, 2007, 03:19:18 AM
Big T claims that he still likes yellow
"I LOVE IT" he's heard to bellow
A big smiling face
Glowing gallant grace
yellow skin, yellow clothes, yellow mellow
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 12, 2007, 04:16:30 AM
Naturewalker went shopping in Soho
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: chillies on December 12, 2007, 04:27:28 AM
Naturewalker went shopping in Soho
For fruit, cement and a yoyo
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 12, 2007, 04:35:10 AM
Naturewalker went shopping in Soho
For fruit, cement and a yoyo
She missed all the shops
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 12, 2007, 05:51:21 AM
Naturewalker went shopping in Soho
For fruit, cement and a yoyo
She missed all the shops,
but bought some flip-flops,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 12, 2007, 08:34:25 AM
Naturewalker went shopping in Soho
For fruit, cement and a yoyo
She missed all the shops,
but bought some flip-flops
And a Santa that went Ho Ho Ho Ho
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 12, 2007, 08:39:55 AM
I acquired a pink side-car last May
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 12, 2007, 09:01:33 AM
I acquired a pink side-car last May
For I am, as you guessed, screamingly gay
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 12, 2007, 09:19:53 AM
I acquired a pink side-car last May
For I am, as you guessed, screamingly gay  :-*
But my wife doesn't know,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 12, 2007, 09:38:26 AM
I acquired a pink side-car last May
For I am, as you guessed, screamingly gay 
But my wife doesn't know
It will come as a blow
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 12, 2007, 09:43:03 AM
I acquired a pink side-car last May
For I am, as you guessed, screamingly gay
But my wife doesn't know
It will come as a blow
when she learns I like sausage buffet!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: naturewalker on December 12, 2007, 12:28:55 PM
NatureWalker asked the clever Citabria...
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on December 12, 2007, 01:23:27 PM
NatureWalker asked the clever Citabria...
To go with him all the way in Northumbria
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on December 12, 2007, 04:05:42 PM
NatureWalker asked the clever Citabria...
To go with him all the way in Northumbria
but they frightened the sheep
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 12, 2007, 04:10:51 PM
NatureWalker asked the clever Citabria...
To go with him all the way in Northumbria
but they frightened the sheep
as they walked in their sleep
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on December 12, 2007, 04:43:30 PM
NatureWalker asked the clever Citabria...
To go with him all the way in Northumbria
but they frightened the sheep
as they walked in their sleep
and then woke up - bemused - in Calabria!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 12, 2007, 08:05:55 PM
Gyppo's sense of wit is well known
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 13, 2007, 04:41:35 AM
Gyppo's sense of wit is well known
Though he sits in a garret all alone
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on December 13, 2007, 05:52:53 AM
Gyppo's sense of wit is well known
Though he sits in a garret all alone
That's not true, I've a Bear
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 13, 2007, 06:18:38 AM
Gyppo's sense of wit is well known
Though he sits in a garret all alone
That's not true, I've a Bear
What a heartbreaking pair
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on December 13, 2007, 06:34:25 AM
Gyppo's sense of wit is well known
Though he sits in a garret all alone
That's not true, I've a Bear
What a heartbreaking pair
And with Teddy I can pick up the phone
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 13, 2007, 06:36:38 AM
A donkey, two nuns and a mime.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on December 13, 2007, 07:03:10 AM
A donkey, two nuns and a mime.
Sure ingredients for a good time.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 13, 2007, 07:51:30 AM
A donkey, two nuns and a mime.
Sure ingredients for a good time.
Hailed a cab and went west,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 13, 2007, 08:01:57 AM
A donkey, two nuns and a mime.
Sure ingredients for a good time.
Hailed a cab and went west,
To find who was best
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Writers Block on December 13, 2007, 10:13:55 AM
A donkey, two nuns and a mime.
Sure ingredients for a good time.
Hailed a cab and went west,
To find who was best
Then got drunk on too much wine.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 13, 2007, 10:19:22 AM
I untied her and bid her farewell
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 13, 2007, 11:51:12 AM
I untied her and bid her farewell
She promised she never would tell
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: naturewalker on December 13, 2007, 12:31:49 PM

I untied her and bid her farewell
She promised she never would tell
Away she galloped
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on December 13, 2007, 02:09:38 PM

I untied her and bid her farewell
She promised she never would tell
Away she galloped
And the night she enveloped
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 13, 2007, 05:01:48 PM
I untied her and bid her farewell
She promised she never would tell
Away she galloped
And the night she enveloped
But kept asking herself, "What's that smell?"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 13, 2007, 07:37:53 PM
DG warmed up with a smile
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Xerika on December 13, 2007, 08:16:40 PM
DG warmed up with a smile
which she hadn't done for a while
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: naturewalker on December 13, 2007, 10:50:21 PM

DG warmed up with a smile
which she hadn't done for a while
She thought of the day
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 13, 2007, 11:52:56 PM
DG warmed up with a smile
which she hadn't done for a while
She thought of the day
She'd go back and play
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: naturewalker on December 14, 2007, 12:33:59 AM

DG warmed up with a smile
which she hadn't done for a while
She thought of the day
She'd go back and play
on the blue yellow and green tile
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 14, 2007, 02:02:02 AM
An MWC Mod from Bangkok
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 14, 2007, 04:08:54 AM
An MWC Mod from Bangkok
shot a newb in the foot with his Glock
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 14, 2007, 04:18:00 AM
An MWC Mod from Bangkok
shot a newb in the foot with his Glock
the hot bullet went through
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 14, 2007, 04:27:51 AM
An MWC Mod from Bangkok
shot a newb in the foot with his Glock
the hot bullet went through
the sole of his shoe
then ricocheted into his cock.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 14, 2007, 05:42:14 AM
Two ladies were wrestling in mud
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 14, 2007, 06:47:52 AM
Two ladies were wrestling in mud
being watched by an amorous stud
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 14, 2007, 06:56:31 AM
Two ladies were wrestling in mud
being watched by an amorous stud
As they writhed on their backs
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 14, 2007, 07:10:03 AM
Two ladies were wrestling in mud
being watched by an amorous stud
As they writhed on their backs
squirting mud from their ears
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 14, 2007, 07:48:34 AM
Two ladies were wrestling in mud
being watched by an amorous stud
They writhed on their backs
squirting mud from their ears
Which he’d never even realised they could!

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 14, 2007, 07:56:41 AM
A eunuch from Worcester named Walter
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 14, 2007, 08:03:14 AM
A eunuch from Worcester named Walter
Met a tranny called Maureen from Malta
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 14, 2007, 08:08:29 AM
A eunuch from Worcester named Walter
Met a tranny called Maureen from Malta
So Wally and Mo
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 14, 2007, 08:10:15 AM
A eunuch from Worcester named Walter
Met a tranny called Maureen from Malta
So Wally and Mo
And ladyboy called Jo
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 14, 2007, 08:17:18 AM
A eunuch from Worcester named Walter
Met a tranny called Maureen from Malta
So Wally and Mo
And ladyboy called Jo
formed a freak show and moved to Gibralta
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 14, 2007, 08:40:05 AM
A stripper named Rita von Horovitz
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 14, 2007, 09:04:37 AM
A stripper named Rita von Horovitz
was renowned for the stench from her hairy bits
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 14, 2007, 09:13:33 AM
A stripper named Rita von Horovitz
was renowned for the stench from her hairy bits
Well….that’s as may be
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 14, 2007, 09:28:13 AM
A stripper named Rita von Horovitz
was renowned for the stench from her hairy bits
Well ... that’s as may be,
her pits do smell of Brie,

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 14, 2007, 10:01:56 AM
I got three – I couldn’t make my mind up. Although no-one comes out of this smelling of roses

A stripper named Rita von Horovitz
was renowned for the stench from her hairy bits
Well ... that’s as may be,
her pits do smell of Brie,
- But she’d be shaved, waxed and plucked - haven’t you thought of this?
- And it didn’t cost much to insure her tits
- Good ‘cos I thought you were going to say Orifice
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 14, 2007, 11:11:09 PM
Sir Nigel was naughty today
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lime and Tequila on December 15, 2007, 12:43:23 AM
Sir Nigel was naughty today
when he shagged Santa's wife in a sleigh
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: naturewalker on December 15, 2007, 01:12:38 AM

Sir Nigel was naughty today
when he shagged Santa's wife in a sleigh
Santa was far from pleased...
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on December 15, 2007, 05:13:20 AM
Sir Nigel was naughty today
when he shagged Santa's wife in a sleigh
Santa was far from pleased...
Seeing her down on her knees
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lime and Tequila on December 15, 2007, 08:47:22 AM
Sir Nigel was naughty today
when he shagged Santa's wife in a sleigh
Santa was far from pleased...
Seeing her down on her knees
So he bagged up the toys and flew away
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on December 15, 2007, 09:08:15 AM
There once was a St Bernard who knew
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on December 15, 2007, 12:14:54 PM
There once was a St Bernard who knew
rather more tricks than just one or two
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on December 15, 2007, 12:16:11 PM
There once was a St Bernard who knew
rather more tricks than just one or two
With his barrel of brandy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 15, 2007, 01:40:09 PM
There once was a St Bernard who knew
rather more tricks than just one or two
With his barrel of brandy
and his famous 'hand shandy'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 15, 2007, 01:43:03 PM
There once was a St Bernard who knew
rather more tricks than just one or two
With his barrel of brandy
and his famous 'hand shandy'
gave lessons to all of the crew
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Xerika on December 15, 2007, 08:06:23 PM
There was once an accountant called Pewtie
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 16, 2007, 04:52:04 AM
There was once an accountant called Pewtie
whose testicles smelt really fruity
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on December 16, 2007, 07:08:00 AM
Good job Im no longer a Moderator!!LOL

Lin x
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on December 16, 2007, 12:12:34 PM
There was once an accountant called Pewtie
whose testicles smelt really fruity,
but without Lin to guard us
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 16, 2007, 12:44:00 PM
There was once an accountant called Pewtie
whose testicles smelt really fruity,
but without Lin to guard us
they'll go 'nuts' on the pun bus
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 16, 2007, 01:32:43 PM
There was once an accountant called Pewtie
whose testicles smelt really fruity,
but without Lin to guard us
they'll go 'nuts' on the pun bus
and place all the cobblers on duty.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on December 16, 2007, 03:25:19 PM
Lin ate a bag of cashews
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Xerika on December 16, 2007, 05:10:43 PM
Lin ate a bag of cashews
washed down with a crateful of booze
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 16, 2007, 11:29:23 PM
Lin ate a bag of cashews
washed down with a crateful of booze
her farts were ginormous
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 17, 2007, 02:52:04 AM
Lin ate a bag of cashews
washed down with a crateful of booze
her farts were ginormous
like an earth shaking chorus
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 17, 2007, 03:14:54 AM
Lin ate a bag of cashews
washed down with a crateful of booze
her farts were ginormous
like an earth shaking chorus
and the bands at the Edinburgh Tattoos
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on December 17, 2007, 03:16:51 AM
Whilst rocking round the Christmas tree
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 17, 2007, 03:20:20 AM
Whilst rocking round the Christmas tree
Lin was dancing,. whirling free
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: naturewalker on December 17, 2007, 05:06:20 AM

Whilst rocking round the Christmas tree
Lin was dancing,. whirling free
Decorations 'n lights
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on December 17, 2007, 05:12:05 AM
Whilst rocking round the Christmas tree
Lin was dancing,. whirling free
Decorations 'n lights
Whilst the men were in tights
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: naturewalker on December 17, 2007, 06:19:24 AM

Whilst rocking round the Christmas tree
Lin was dancing,. whirling free
Decorations 'n lights
Whilst the men were in tights
Trying to woo MAdelline Allbright!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 17, 2007, 08:13:06 AM
Whilst fumbling around in the dark
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 17, 2007, 08:31:09 AM
Whilst fumbling around in the dark
a blind man was heard to remark
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 17, 2007, 08:41:49 AM
Whilst fumbling around in the dark
a blind man was heard to remark
‘Ee by Gum, Mrs Vickers’
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 17, 2007, 08:52:13 AM
Whilst fumbling around in the dark
a blind man was heard to remark
‘Ee by Gum, Mrs Vickers
wud tha pass me me Snickers' (Notice how Citabria cunningly avoids Sir Nigel's trap)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 17, 2007, 09:13:41 AM
Whilst fumbling around in the dark
a blind man was heard to remark
‘Ee by Gum, Mrs Vickers
wud tha pass me me Snickers
- which I hid in yer pants for a lark.’
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: naturewalker on December 17, 2007, 09:34:55 AM
Witty Sir Nigel and Citabria had a repartee
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 17, 2007, 09:56:30 AM
Witty Sir Nigel and Citabria had a repartee
Maybe so, but expressed very clunklinglee
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: naturewalker on December 17, 2007, 10:02:47 AM

Witty Sir Nigel and Citabria had a repartee
Maybe so, but expressed very clunklinglee
"Does that really rhyme?," asked
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 17, 2007, 10:15:30 AM
Witty Sir Nigel and Citabria had a repartee
Maybe so, but expressed very clunklinglee
"Does that really rhyme?," asked
‘Pardon?’ replied
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on December 17, 2007, 10:59:42 AM
Witty Sir Nigel and Citabria had a repartee
Maybe so, but expressed very clunklinglee
"Does that really rhyme?," asked
‘Pardon?’ replied
"I not sure what you mean" said
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lime and Tequila on December 17, 2007, 03:32:36 PM
“Love tequila!” said my sweet honey
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 17, 2007, 06:30:18 PM
“Love tequila!” said my sweet honey
then she ran off with all of my money.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 17, 2007, 07:49:17 PM
“Love tequila!” said my sweet honey
then she ran off with all of my money.
Two twists and a third
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Xerika on December 17, 2007, 08:18:26 PM
“Love tequila!” said my sweet honey
then she ran off with all of my money.
Two twists and a third
will produce a green turd
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on December 17, 2007, 08:28:20 PM
“Love tequila!” said my sweet honey
then she ran off with all of my money.
Two twists and a third
will produce a green turd
with a texture both viscid and runny.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 17, 2007, 08:40:25 PM
An old Tar from Devon named Steve
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: naturewalker on December 18, 2007, 02:48:54 AM

An old Tar from Devon named Steve
Wanted very much to make a trip to Keiv
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 18, 2007, 03:12:07 AM
hmmm ... I'll try

An old Tar from Devon named Steve
Wanted very much to make a trip to Keiv
his boat sank half way
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: naturewalker on December 18, 2007, 03:26:06 AM


An old Tar from Devon named Steve
Wanted very much to make a trip to Keiv
his boat sank half way
In the Persian bay
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 18, 2007, 03:31:58 AM
An old Tar from Devon named Steve
Wanted very much to make a trip to Keiv
his boat sank half way
In the Persian bay
So this Limerick ... I'll never believe.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 18, 2007, 03:39:38 AM
A Cyclops name Roger D'Ville
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 18, 2007, 03:41:15 AM
 A Cyclops name Roger D'Ville
did clearly state in his will
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 18, 2007, 03:43:49 AM
A Cyclops name Roger D'Ville
did clearly state in his will
that his monocle should -
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 18, 2007, 04:17:48 AM
A Cyclops name Roger D'Ville
did clearly state in his will
that his monocle should –
if it possibly could
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 18, 2007, 04:22:23 AM
A Cyclops name Roger D'Ville
did clearly state in his will
that his monocle should –
if it possibly could
be polished, and thrown o'er the hill
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 18, 2007, 04:30:58 AM
I was feeling a little obstreperous   
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on December 18, 2007, 04:44:11 AM
I was feeling a little obstreperous
just one step removed from 'quite dangerous'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 18, 2007, 05:01:48 AM
I was feeling a little obstreperous
just one step removed from 'quite dangerous'
So I rolled a fat spliff
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 18, 2007, 05:23:30 AM
I was feeling a little obstreperous
just one step removed from 'quite dangerous'
So I rolled a fat spliff
and swigged Dettol and Jif
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on December 18, 2007, 05:41:38 AM
I was feeling a little obstreperous
just one step removed from 'quite dangerous'
So I rolled a fat spliff
and swigged Dettol and Jif
Then wished everyone Melly Chrishmush
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on December 18, 2007, 05:43:49 AM
I wanted to write something disgusting
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 18, 2007, 05:47:16 AM
I wanted to write something disgusting
Some filth about lusting and thrusting
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on December 18, 2007, 05:48:07 AM
I wanted to write something disgusting
Some filth about lusting and thrusting
with wobbly bits bouncing
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 18, 2007, 06:10:21 AM
I wanted to write something disgusting
Some filth about lusting and thrusting
with wobbly bits bouncing
some sadistic trouncing
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 18, 2007, 06:19:40 AM
I wanted to write something disgusting
Some filth about lusting and thrusting
with wobbly bits bouncing
some sadistic trouncing
But I need to get on with the dusting
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 18, 2007, 06:44:30 AM
It's Christmas and so I must pluck
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 18, 2007, 06:48:41 AM
It's Christmas and so I must pluck
my lute and sing carols for good luck
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: HeidiC on December 18, 2007, 06:50:39 AM
It's Christmas and so I must pluck
my lute and sing carols for good luck
Raise a glass of egg-nog
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 18, 2007, 07:00:15 AM
It's Christmas and so I must pluck
my lute and sing carols for good luck
Raise a glass of egg-nog
And give you a wet snog  (well? you try rhyming with Egg Nog)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 18, 2007, 07:46:07 AM
It's Christmas and so I must pluck
my lute and sing carols for good luck
Raise a glass of egg-nog
And give you a wet snog  (well? you try rhyming with Egg Nog)
which with luck will result in a dinner invitation (well? you try rhyming with duck)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 18, 2007, 08:05:39 AM
Whilst beating up Norbert the geek
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on December 18, 2007, 09:00:06 AM
Whilst beating up Norbert the geek
and giving his gonads a tweak
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 18, 2007, 09:15:34 AM
Whilst beating up Norbert the geek
and giving his gonads a tweak
I was startled to learn
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on December 18, 2007, 09:25:05 AM
Whilst beating up Norbert the geek
and giving his gonads a tweak
I was startled to learn
He liked a glass of Sauterne
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 18, 2007, 09:53:22 AM
Whilst beating up Norbert the geek
and giving his gonads a tweak
I was startled to learn
He liked a glass of Sauterne
Which made that weak geek freak unique!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 18, 2007, 11:55:51 AM
The baubles were up in the station
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: naturewalker on December 18, 2007, 11:59:44 AM

The baubles were up in the station
In a well planned oblong rotation
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on December 18, 2007, 12:53:20 PM
The baubles were up in the station
In a well planned oblong rotation
Then Santa Claus came
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 18, 2007, 01:25:16 PM
The baubles were up in the station
In a well planned oblong rotation
Then Santa Claus came
and did loudly proclaim
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Xerika on December 18, 2007, 05:41:45 PM
The baubles were up in the station
In a well planned oblong rotation
Then Santa Claus came
and did loudly proclaim
his reindeer were all on probation
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 18, 2007, 07:19:53 PM
Mark is the guy with the hump
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on December 18, 2007, 07:37:17 PM
Mark is the guy with the hump,
Esmerelda's the lass he doth 'bump'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 18, 2007, 08:09:53 PM
Mark is the guy with the hump,
Esmerelda's the lass he doth 'bump'
In time with the bells
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: naturewalker on December 18, 2007, 11:16:00 PM

Mark is the guy with the hump,
Esmerelda's the lass he doth 'bump'
In time with the bells
chiming on laptop dells
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 18, 2007, 11:29:00 PM
Mark is the guy with the hump,
Esmerelda's the lass he doth 'bump'
In time with the bells
chiming on laptop dells
she gave him a lathering .... wash!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 19, 2007, 04:14:04 AM
whilst pondering the size of his tool
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 19, 2007, 04:22:20 AM
whilst pondering the size of his tool
the mechanic started to drool
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 19, 2007, 04:34:05 AM
whilst pondering the size of his tool
the mechanic started to drool
and then with a wrench
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 19, 2007, 04:42:40 AM
whilst pondering the size of his tool
the mechanic started to drool
and then with a wrench
he plonked on the bench
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 19, 2007, 04:48:29 AM
whilst pondering the size of his tool
the mechanic started to drool
and then with a wrench
he plonked on the bench
producing a festering stool.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 19, 2007, 04:52:40 AM
(Yuk!)  ;D

A Welshman from Wales did come
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 19, 2007, 04:58:41 AM
A Welshman from Wales did come -
home from the hills with his thumb -
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: naturewalker on December 19, 2007, 05:32:28 AM

A Welshman from Wales did come -
home from the hills with his thumb -
down he came wobbling
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 19, 2007, 06:26:58 AM
A Welshman from Wales did come -
home from the hills with his thumb -
down he came wobbling
but not before nobbling
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 19, 2007, 06:33:25 AM
A Welshman from Wales did come -
home from the hills with his thumb -
down he came wobbling
but not before nobbling
the sheep at the back of the scrum.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 19, 2007, 06:36:30 AM
I was sampling a fine marscapone
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on December 19, 2007, 06:38:15 AM
I was sampling a fine marscapone
when Gyppo rode by on a Pony
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 19, 2007, 06:45:26 AM
I was sampling a fine marscapone
served with sprouts, cherry jam and baloney


How did that happen. I normally get a warning.

I was sampling a fine marscapone
when Gyppo rode by on a Pony
he was wearing a kilt
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 19, 2007, 06:51:34 AM
Ahem, let me rescue this from a complete debacle:  


I was sampling a fine marscapone
served with sprouts, cherry jam and baloney
I was just wondering whether
I’d enough lucky heather
When a Gyppo rode by on a pony (and he was wearing a kilt)




phew
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 19, 2007, 06:58:36 AM
Her arse was the size of the moon
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 19, 2007, 07:02:17 AM
Her arse was the size of the moon
And when squeezed played a melodious tune
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 19, 2007, 07:33:30 AM
Her arse was the size of the moon
And when squeezed played a melodious tune
A malodorous pong
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 19, 2007, 07:44:21 AM
Her arse was the size of the moon
And when squeezed played a melodious tune.
A malodorous pong
meant you’d squeezed too strong
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 19, 2007, 08:20:34 AM
Her arse was the size of the moon
And when squeezed played a melodious tune.
A malodorous pong
meant you’d squeezed it too strong
so standby for the mud slide monsoon
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 19, 2007, 08:21:06 AM
A flatulent fireman from Frome
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: HeidiC on December 19, 2007, 08:48:47 AM
A flatulent fireman from Frome
Blew away a prized garden gnome
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 19, 2007, 08:56:27 AM
A flatulent fireman from Frome
Blew away a prized garden gnome
The poor little chap
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: HeidiC on December 19, 2007, 09:02:13 AM
A flatulent fireman from Frome
Blew away a prized garden gnome
The poor little chap
Flew through my cat flap
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 19, 2007, 09:18:11 AM
A flatulent fireman from Frome
Blew away a prized garden gnome
The poor little chap
Flew through my cat flap
and got wedged in my manuscript tome.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 19, 2007, 07:08:29 PM
Heidi was playing hide and seek
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Amie on December 19, 2007, 11:07:33 PM
Heidi was playing hide and seek
with a flatulent internet geek
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 19, 2007, 11:17:40 PM
Heidi was playing hide and seek
with a flatulent internet geek
his buttocks did clap
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: naturewalker on December 19, 2007, 11:48:58 PM
Heidi was playing hide and seek
with a flatulent internet geek
his buttocks did clap
in a thunderous crap
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 20, 2007, 12:38:48 AM
Heidi was playing hide and seek
with a flatulent internet geek
his buttocks did clap
in a thunderous crap
that grit blasted both of his cheek(s)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on December 20, 2007, 03:19:54 AM
Im going back to being a Moderator !!! ROFL  Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all Limerick Addicts

Lin x x x x
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 20, 2007, 03:22:34 AM
An orangutan lover called Lin
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 20, 2007, 04:27:33 AM
An orang-utan lover called Lin
was disturbed when the keeper walked in.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 20, 2007, 05:11:16 AM
An orang-utan lover called Lin
was disturbed when the keeper walked in
and found her entwined
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 20, 2007, 05:17:37 AM
An orang-utan lover called Lin
was disturbed when the keeper walked in
and found her entwined
(in fact well sixty-nined)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 20, 2007, 05:27:35 AM
An orang-utan lover called Lin
was disturbed when the keeper walked in
and found her entwined
(in fact well sixty-nined)
with a big orange ball on her chin.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 20, 2007, 06:49:46 AM
A one-legged lady from Delph
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 20, 2007, 07:06:35 AM
A one-legged lady from Delph
had her mono-peg felt by an elf
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: HeidiC on December 20, 2007, 07:49:26 AM
A one-legged lady from Delph
had her mono-peg felt by an elf
With a lecherous grin
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 20, 2007, 08:33:53 AM
A one-legged lady from Delph
had her mono-peg felt by an elf
With a lecherous grin
She said ‘The other one’s not tin’.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 20, 2007, 08:59:20 AM
A one-legged lady from Delph
had her mono-peg felt by an elf
With a lecherous grin
She said ‘The other one’s not tin.
I keep it upstairs on a shelf.'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 20, 2007, 07:12:29 PM
In the city called Ho Chi Minh
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on December 20, 2007, 07:18:46 PM
In the city called Ho Chi Minh
the girls really do my head in
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 20, 2007, 07:44:49 PM
In the city called Ho Chi Minh
the girls really do my head in
they smile and they wiggle
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 20, 2007, 10:37:45 PM
In the city called Ho Chi Minh
the girls really do my head in
they smile and they wiggle
they drool as they giggle
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 20, 2007, 11:55:17 PM
In the city called Ho Chi Minh
the girls really do my head in
they smile and they wiggle
they drool as they giggle
but all I want to do is sin
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 21, 2007, 12:05:00 AM
Found a naughty little elf by my tree
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 21, 2007, 12:24:31 AM
all alone and smiling was he
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: naturewalker on December 21, 2007, 02:31:51 AM

Found a naughty little elf by my tree
all alone and smiling was he
With a lot of toys
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 21, 2007, 03:43:11 AM
Found a naughty little elf by my tree
all alone and smiling was he
With a lot of toys
for the girls and boys
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 21, 2007, 05:43:37 AM
Found a naughty little elf by my tree
all alone and smiling was he
With a lot of toys
for the girls and boys
No doubt a sick paedo you’ll see



It would be sad at this time of the year
To linger too long on here
So why not go
in search of mistletoe
or piss off to the pub for a beer?

A Merry Christmas to all like-minded Limeriscists, Limeriscistesses, Poets, Poetesses, Wordsmiths, Verbwrights, Phraseturners and their immediate kin (molls, doxies, toy boys, mail order brides), Moderatorers and their cats and even those who still haven’t got much of a clue about rhyme, meter, etc.  

bye for now
Sir Nigel 8)

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 21, 2007, 06:09:54 AM
Yeah yeah. Notice how the aristocracy bugger off to Barbados (yes I spotted the shades) for Christmas and leave all the hard working scribes here in the English fog and frizzle.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on December 21, 2007, 06:21:52 AM
Don’t worry, I’ll be thinking of you with your micro-waved turkey dinner from Ice Land and your new Poundstretcher jumper.

Perkins! start the Bentley

Farewell! 8)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 21, 2007, 10:49:58 AM
So Sir Nigel's run off to Barbados
"and the tight fisted git hasn't paid us"
said the gardener and maid
the cook and her aide
and the tart in the pink see-through nightdress.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on December 21, 2007, 12:48:33 PM
Sir Nigel's gorn orf in his Bentley
because he's not tough enough mentally
to handle the ice
in his frozen mince pies
so he simmers in Barbados, gently.

(Funny, I always thought he'd have a Rolls, or perhaps something a bit more distinctive like a Bristol or even a vintage Allard   I suspect he's a bit of a pleb on the quiet ;-)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 21, 2007, 10:12:10 PM
Sir Nige interrupted the flow
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: naturewalker on December 21, 2007, 11:53:56 PM

Sir Nige interrupted the flow
Forcing the lit-stream to be slow
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 22, 2007, 01:59:50 AM
Sir Nige interrupted the flow
Forcing the lit-stream to be slow
He took off in a Bent
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 22, 2007, 05:14:20 AM
Sir Nige interrupted the flow
Forcing the lit-stream to be slow
He took off in a Bent
with a boy out for rent
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 24, 2007, 02:09:50 AM
Sir Nige interrupted the flow
Forcing the lit-stream to be slow
He took off in a Bent
with a boy out for rent
He's gonna come back all aglow
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 24, 2007, 03:32:07 AM
My antlers were starting to itch
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on December 24, 2007, 07:03:36 AM
My antlers were starting to itch
and my nostrils beginning to twitch
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DwWin on December 24, 2007, 07:07:44 AM
My antlers were starting to itch
and my nostrils beginning to twitch
When out of the blue
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 24, 2007, 07:16:54 AM
My antlers were starting to itch
and my nostrils beginning to twitch
When out of the blue
came this bloke that I knew
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 24, 2007, 07:25:12 PM
My antlers were starting to itch
and my nostrils beginning to twitch
When out of the blue
came this bloke that I knew
he likes deer, so I jumped in the ditch
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on December 25, 2007, 08:46:33 AM
'Twas Christmas Day in the world
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: naturewalker on December 25, 2007, 12:49:28 PM

'Twas Christmas Day in the world
Red 'n white all around us swirled
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on December 25, 2007, 03:58:32 PM

'Twas Christmas Day in the world
Red 'n white all around us swirled
Then Boxing Day came
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 25, 2007, 07:26:05 PM
'Twas Christmas Day in the world
Red 'n white all around us swirled
Then Boxing Day came
It wasn't the same
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: ellie on December 26, 2007, 02:03:57 PM
T'was Christmas day in the world
Red 'n white around us swirled
Then Boxing day came
It wasn't the same
As mincepies in our stomachs whirled


A book on Druids was my gift
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 26, 2007, 04:55:37 PM
A book on Druids was my gift
and this did create quite a rift
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 26, 2007, 07:15:56 PM
A book on Druids was my gift
and this did create quite a rift
the Celts came together
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on December 26, 2007, 07:38:44 PM
A book on Druids was my gift
and this did create quite a rift
the Celts came together
which caused them some pleasure
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 26, 2007, 08:02:33 PM
A book on Druids was my gift
and this did create quite a rift
the Celts came together
which caused them some pleasure
except for the Scots who ended up miffed
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: chillies on December 27, 2007, 03:16:34 AM
Old Santa's been here, now he's gone
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 27, 2007, 03:28:42 AM
Old Santa's been here, now he's gone
A year to go ... that's not long
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on December 27, 2007, 04:37:39 AM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Old Santa's been here, now he's gone
A year to go ... that's not long
Its awfully hard
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 27, 2007, 04:44:48 AM
Old Santa's been here, now he's gone
A year to go ... that's not long
"Its awfully hard"
said the actress to the Bard
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on December 28, 2007, 02:58:27 AM
Old Santa's been here, now he's gone
A year to go ... that's not long
"Its awfully hard"
said the actress to the Bard
"hold still while I slip this thing on"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: McWawa on December 31, 2007, 01:21:16 PM
 There once was a NewYears resolution
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on December 31, 2007, 01:30:26 PM
There once was a NewYears resolution
to try communist redistribution
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on December 31, 2007, 03:32:16 PM
There once was a NewYears resolution
to try communist redistribution
capitalists reply
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: McWawa on December 31, 2007, 04:22:52 PM
 
There once was a NewYears resolution
to try communist redistribution
capitalists reply
was "go out 'n buy-buy-buy"                               ( bye bye)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 02, 2008, 06:46:28 AM
There once was a New Years resolution
to try communist redistribution
capitalists reply
was "go out 'n buy-buy-buy"
- then a no-nonsense nuclear solution.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 02, 2008, 08:17:05 AM
Over Christmas I've gained half a stone
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 02, 2008, 08:40:28 AM
Over Christmas I've gained half a stone
But rather than sit here and moan
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 02, 2008, 09:07:00 AM
Over Christmas I've gained half a stone
But rather than sit here and moan
I'll bonk my way thin
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on January 02, 2008, 09:08:33 AM
Over Christmas I've gained half a stone
But rather than sit here and moan
I'll bonk my way thin
If there is a way in
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 02, 2008, 09:19:48 AM
Over Christmas I've gained half a stone
But rather than sit here and moan
I'll bonk my way thin
If there is a way in
Is it still the same place I was shown?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 02, 2008, 09:24:16 AM
I'm so bloated I feel like a yank
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 02, 2008, 09:32:34 AM
I'm so bloated I feel like a yank
(A stereotype thrown in as a prank) 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 02, 2008, 09:38:15 AM
I'm so bloated I feel like a yank
(A stereotype thrown in as a prank) 
Yes you're right, they're all slim
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 02, 2008, 09:42:41 AM
I'm so bloated I feel like a yank
(A stereotype thrown in as a prank) 
Yes you're right, they're all slim
(Many go to the Gym)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on January 02, 2008, 09:48:47 AM
I'm so bloated I feel like a yank
(A stereotype thrown in as a prank)
Yes you're right, they're all slim
(Many go to the Gym)
To believe the fallacy of being built like a tank
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 02, 2008, 09:57:41 AM
A Canadian Canoeist called Chris
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 02, 2008, 10:00:38 AM
A Canadian Canoeist called Chris
sang a ditty that went something like this….
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 02, 2008, 10:04:58 AM
A Canadian Canoeist called Chris
sang a ditty that went something like this….
"Ho hum hum hum ho
A seal clubbing I go"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 02, 2008, 10:38:04 AM
A Canadian Canoeist called Chris
sang a ditty that went something like this….
"Ho hum hum hum ho
A seal clubbing I go
Just beat out their brains - you can’t miss!”
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on January 02, 2008, 12:23:34 PM
A Canadian Canoeist called Chris
sang a ditty that went something like this….
"Ho hum hum hum ho
A seal clubbing I go
Just beat out their brains - you can’t miss!”

(especially true with mankind loaded to the teeth with all the latest technology and chasing very young pups around on the ice.  they're such a threat as newborns aren't they?  Sorry gang, the limerick may have seemed funny but as a Canadian I protest these senseless slaughters against defenseless creatures that are only a few weeks old and take hours to die when they've been ripped open to bleed to death on the ice.  For the record, I do not belong to PETA.  I truly do care about animals and the environment.)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 02, 2008, 12:57:33 PM
Never fear NP we don't hold you personally responsible for the evil deeds of your countrymen. ;) Canada is such a great country but all we ever hear about is cruelty to seals and overt kindness to frogs.

And on to the next ...




In England they've banned hunting with dogs,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on January 02, 2008, 06:15:46 PM
In England they've banned hunting with dogs,
To go along with dancing in clogs







*thanks for that Cit!  :D
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 02, 2008, 06:26:21 PM
In England they've banned hunting with dogs,
To go along with dancing in clogs
but we still have warm beer
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on January 02, 2008, 06:46:04 PM
In England they've banned hunting with dogs,
To go along with dancing in clogs
But we still have warm beer
For which some may still cheer
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on January 02, 2008, 07:28:06 PM
In England they've banned hunting with dogs,
To go along with dancing in clogs
But we still have warm beer
For which some may still cheer
As we're drinking with bowlegged hogs.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 03, 2008, 05:43:03 AM
A man with an interesting spoon
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 03, 2008, 05:52:00 AM
A man with an interesting spoon
named it runcible. One afternoon
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 03, 2008, 05:56:23 AM
A man with an interesting spoon
named it runcible. One afternoon.
He‘d polish and buff it
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 03, 2008, 07:45:19 AM
A man with an interesting spoon
named it runcible one afternoon.
He‘d polish and buff it
as he sat on his tuffit
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 03, 2008, 08:59:33 AM
A man with an interesting spoon
named it runcible one afternoon.
He‘d polish and buff it
as he sat on his tuffit
and hummed a slow sorrowful tune.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on January 03, 2008, 09:28:06 AM
Lin is back from some time out in Wales
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on January 03, 2008, 09:36:06 AM
Lin is back from some time out in Wales
where she's been pulling Guinea Pig's tails
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 03, 2008, 09:42:06 AM
Lin is back from some time out in Wales
where she's been pulling Guinea Pig's tails
they had started to whine
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on January 03, 2008, 10:26:46 AM
Lin is back from some time out in Wales
where she's been pulling Guinea Pig's tails
they had started to whine
as they dried on the line
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 03, 2008, 10:48:41 AM
Lin is back from some time out in Wales
where she's been pulling Guinea Pig's tails
they had started to whine
as they dried on the line
so she bought them all Doryman's ale
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on January 03, 2008, 05:17:11 PM
CaddyJ is the new kid in town
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 03, 2008, 05:45:12 PM
CaddyJ is the new kid in town
some would boff he's some sort of a clown
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on January 04, 2008, 01:38:51 AM
CaddyJ is the new kid in town
some would boff he's some sort of a clown
his metre was good
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 04, 2008, 02:06:22 AM
CaddyJ is the new kid in town
some would boff he's some sort of a clown
his metre was good
and was quick to get wood
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 04, 2008, 03:58:14 AM
CaddyJ is the new kid in town
some would boff he's some sort of a clown
his metre was good
and was quick to get wood
and the ends of those woods are all brown. (Golf reference obviously - Caddy!)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 04, 2008, 04:20:04 AM
There once was an aardvark named Clark
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on January 04, 2008, 04:22:38 AM
There once was an aardvark named Clark
who went for a walk in the park
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 04, 2008, 04:27:29 AM
There once was an aardvark named Clark
who went for a walk in the park
he met a French poodle
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on January 04, 2008, 04:35:21 AM
There once was an aardvark named Clark
who went for a walk in the park
he met a French poodle
that yipped "Cock-a-doodle"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 04, 2008, 04:37:16 AM
There once was an aardvark named Clark
who went for a walk in the park
he met a French poodle
that yipped "Cock-a-doodle"
and crowed at the sign of first dark!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on January 04, 2008, 04:44:36 AM
The New year came in with a bang
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 04, 2008, 04:50:15 AM
The New year came in with a bang
said the Count as he sharpend his fang
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 04, 2008, 04:51:23 AM
The New year came in with a bang
said the Count as he sharpend his fang
"Fetch me a virgin!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 04, 2008, 04:57:35 AM
The New year came in with a bang
said the Count as he sharpend his fang
"Fetch me a virgin!"
"a buxom blonde German"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 04, 2008, 05:11:20 AM
The New year came in with a bang
said the Count as he sharpend his fang
"Fetch me a virgin!"
"a buxom blonde German"
and I'll beat her to death with my wang.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 04, 2008, 05:20:52 AM
Don’t beat her to death with a willy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on January 04, 2008, 05:25:27 AM
Don’t beat her to death with a willy
to waste a good virgin is silly
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 04, 2008, 05:35:48 AM
Don’t beat her to death with a willy
to waste a good virgin is silly
So put away percy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 04, 2008, 05:40:25 AM
Don’t beat her to death with a willy
to waste a good virgin is silly
So put away percy
and show her some mercy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on January 04, 2008, 05:43:29 AM
Don’t beat her to death with a willy
to waste a good virgin is silly
So put away percy
and show her some mercy
and shaft her big sister, called Dilly.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 04, 2008, 05:46:55 AM
If Dilly won’t dally your dong
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 04, 2008, 05:58:46 AM
If Dilly won’t dally your dong
it may be because it's too long
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on January 04, 2008, 06:02:10 AM
If Dilly won’t dally your dong
it may be because it's too long
so just slice off a portion
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 04, 2008, 06:09:46 AM
If Dilly won’t dally your dong
it may be because it's too long
So just slice of a portion
But I would advise caution
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 04, 2008, 06:11:13 AM
If Dilly won’t dally your dong
it may be because it's too long
So just slice of a portion
But I would advise caution
'cause knob slicing often goes wrong  :-[
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 04, 2008, 08:05:37 AM
If stuck for an opening line
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 04, 2008, 08:12:10 AM
If stuck for an opening line
try, There once was woman devine
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 04, 2008, 08:15:44 AM
If stuck for an opening line
try, There once was woman devine
A goddess perhaps?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 04, 2008, 08:28:39 AM
If stuck for an opening line
try, There once was woman divine
A goddess perhaps?
with nice teeth; no gaps.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 04, 2008, 08:49:28 AM
If stuck for an opening line
try, There once was woman divine
A goddess perhaps?
with nice teeth; no gaps.
Out of my league then, you swine!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 04, 2008, 11:09:46 AM
I met a few limerick addicts
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on January 04, 2008, 11:25:17 AM
I met a few limerick addicts
One of whom his name was Maddix
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 04, 2008, 01:24:05 PM
I met a few limerick addicts
One of whom his name was Maddix
his metre was broken
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on January 04, 2008, 03:15:45 PM
I met a few limerick addicts
One of whom his name was Maddix
his metre was broken
his humour merely token
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on January 05, 2008, 03:59:34 AM
I met a few limerick addicts
One of whom his name was Maddix
His metre was broken
His humour merely token
His true talent was fixing the attics
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on January 05, 2008, 04:06:21 AM
There was a young woman from Groningen
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 05, 2008, 04:09:53 AM
There was a young woman from Groningen
her dastardly husband was gone again
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on January 05, 2008, 04:37:48 AM
There was a young woman from Groningen
Her dastardly husband was gone again
A wandering soul, the dear lad was
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on January 05, 2008, 05:05:57 AM
NP your last line is a bit too long how about "Her wandering soul" and then the next contribution

Lin x x
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 05, 2008, 06:11:09 AM
There was a young woman from Groningen
Her dastardly husband was gone again
A wandering soul,
fell down a big hole
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 05, 2008, 07:08:24 AM
There was a young woman from Groningen
Her dastardly husband was gone again
A wandering soul,
fell down a big hole
where he wrote some nice prose for comp thirty-seven

http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=11937.msg128280#msg128280
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: McWawa on January 05, 2008, 07:41:50 AM
While Hilary's surely batty
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on January 05, 2008, 08:04:55 AM
While Hilary's surely batty
And Julia's gone all catty
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 05, 2008, 03:43:09 PM
While Hilary's surely batty
And Julia's gone all catty
Miss Muffett is fine
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on January 05, 2008, 05:49:57 PM
While Hilary's surely batty
And Julia's gone all catty
Miss Muffett is fine
but drinks too much wine
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on January 05, 2008, 05:53:11 PM
While Hilary's surely batty
And Julia's gone all catty
Miss Muffett is fine
but drinks too much wine
which makes her behaviour quite scatty.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on January 05, 2008, 08:37:54 PM
A snowman was lost on the beach
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 06, 2008, 02:36:10 AM
A snowman was lost on the beach
His compass was just out of reach
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on January 06, 2008, 03:08:19 AM
A snowman was lost on the beach
His compass was just out of reach
He started to sweat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 06, 2008, 04:33:38 AM
A snowman was lost on the beach
His compass was just out of reach
He started to sweat
now the sands got all wet
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on January 06, 2008, 06:13:44 AM
A snowman was lost on the beach
His compass was just out of reach
He started to sweat
now the sands got all wet
which just goes to prove 'Life's a Beetch'.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: McWawa on January 06, 2008, 08:07:24 AM
When Einstein let rip a big fart
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on January 06, 2008, 08:18:22 AM
When Einstein let rip a big fart
it stank like a mouldy fruit tart
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: McWawa on January 06, 2008, 01:37:22 PM
 
When Einstein let rip a big fart
it stank like a mouldy fruit tart
so science did proove
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 06, 2008, 01:45:28 PM
When Einstein let rip a big fart
it stank like a mouldy fruit tart
so science did proove
the concept you lose
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 06, 2008, 01:47:46 PM
When Einstein let rip a big fart
it stank like a mouldy fruit tart
so science did proove
the concept you lose
farting can make a man smart
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 06, 2008, 01:51:57 PM
When Einstein let rip a big fart
it stank like a mouldy fruit tart
so science did proove
the concept you lose
farting can make a man smart
(I must be a freaking genius) :D

There once was an actor named Mason
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 06, 2008, 02:38:18 PM
There once was an actor named Mason
loved a rent boy from LA called Jason
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 06, 2008, 03:38:05 PM
There once was an actor named Mason
loved a rent boy from LA called Jason
they met in a bar
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on January 06, 2008, 05:30:17 PM
There once was an actor named Mason
loved a rent boy from LA called Jason
they met in a bar
then had sex in a car
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 06, 2008, 05:47:18 PM
There once was an actor named Mason
loved a rent boy from LA called Jason
they met in a bar
then had sex in a car
while they pictured the late Larry Grayson Sorry. That only works if you are British.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 06, 2008, 06:13:22 PM
There once was an actor named Mason
loved a rent boy from LA called Jason
they met in a bar
then had sex in a car
while they pictured the late Larry Grayson Sorry. That only works if you are British.

This helps us yanks get a clue! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larry_Grayson

Well done!  :D
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 06, 2008, 06:22:39 PM
For lunch we had pretzels and beer
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on January 06, 2008, 07:38:35 PM
"For lunch we had pretzels and beer."
Said the drunken slob with a sneer
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 06, 2008, 08:41:13 PM
"For lunch we had pretzels and beer."
Said the drunken slob with a sneer
"But for dinner it's cabbage."
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 07, 2008, 02:50:49 AM
"For lunch we had pretzels and beer."
Said the drunken slob with a sneer
"But for dinner it's cabbage,
then a lecture on Babbage,"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Narnian Prince on January 07, 2008, 03:28:58 AM
"For lunch we had pretzels and beer."
Said the drunken slob with a sneer
"But for dinner it's cabbage,
then a lecture on Babbage,"
Proving that drunks are indeed queer.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on January 07, 2008, 06:57:08 AM
Kim and Bubba, a suspicious pair
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 07, 2008, 08:07:51 AM
Kim and Bubba, a suspicious pair
Wore high heels but were otherwise bare
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on January 07, 2008, 10:59:56 AM
Kim and Bubba, a suspicious pair
Wore high heels but were otherwise bare
When the police arrested Kim
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 07, 2008, 11:23:02 AM
Kim and Bubba, a suspicious pair
Wore high heels but were otherwise bare
When the police arrested Kim
She told them her name was Jim
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: McWawa on January 07, 2008, 02:47:23 PM
 
Kim and Bubba, a suspicious pair
Wore high heels but were otherwise bare
When the police arrested Kim
She told them her name was Jim
Hoffa, "and that's my friend Baudelaire".
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 07, 2008, 06:39:57 PM
A farmer was walking to market
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on January 07, 2008, 09:31:20 PM
A farmer was walking to market
'Cause he hadn't a car to park it
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 07, 2008, 09:33:41 PM
A farmer was walking to market
'Cause he hadn't a car to park it
A limo pulled up
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on January 07, 2008, 09:41:22 PM
A farmer was walking to market
'Cause he hadn't a car to park it
A limo pulled up
On the hood was a cup
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on January 08, 2008, 02:17:43 AM
A farmer was walking to market
'Cause he hadn't a car to park it
A limo pulled up
On the hood was a cup
With smokes and a lighter to spark it. 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 08, 2008, 03:32:07 AM
The problem with trusting feng shui
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on January 08, 2008, 03:34:56 AM
The problem with trusting feng shui
is which way to aim whilst you pee
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 08, 2008, 03:50:21 AM
The problem with trusting feng shui
is which way to aim whilst you pee
round the plant in the loo
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on January 08, 2008, 03:54:33 AM
The problem with trusting feng shui
is which way to aim whilst you pee
round the plant in the loo
and the Dream-Catcher too
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on January 08, 2008, 04:19:53 AM
The problem with trusting feng shui
is which way to aim whilst you pee
round the plant in the loo
and the Dream-Catcher too
Huh! I dont have that option OKAY!@!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 08, 2008, 04:24:52 AM
Feng Shoe, Feng Shwee or Fung Shway?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on January 08, 2008, 04:46:04 AM
Feng Shoe, Feng Shwee or Fung Shway?
Sir Nigel was tempted to say
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 08, 2008, 05:03:11 AM
Feng Shoe, Feng Shwee or Fung Shway?
Sir Nigel was tempted to say
if you're gay you say sway
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 08, 2008, 05:04:47 AM
Feng Shoe, Feng Shwee or Fung Shway?
Sir Nigel was tempted to say
if you're gay you say sway
I say Shooey OK?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 08, 2008, 05:14:31 AM
Feng Shoe, Feng Shwee or Fung Shway?
Sir Nigel was tempted to say
if you're gay you say sway
I say Shooey OK?
Only Northerners say it that way!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 08, 2008, 05:17:51 AM
Note to Citabria:  Too many Ays in that last one – it sounds like Anfield on a Saturday night


There once was a short-sighted tranny
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 08, 2008, 05:40:46 AM
There once was a short-sighted tranny
tried to muff dive a warty old granny
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 08, 2008, 05:54:53 AM
There once was a short-sighted tranny
tried to muff dive a warty old granny
But the granny said ‘Dearie…’
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: McWawa on January 08, 2008, 12:59:09 PM
 
There once was a short-sighted tranny
tried to muff dive a warty old granny
But the granny said ‘Dearie…’
I'm doin' a Timothy Leary
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Xerika on January 08, 2008, 08:55:48 PM
There once was a short-sighted tranny
tried to muff dive a warty old granny
But the granny said ‘Dearie…’
I'm doin' a Timothy Leary
So you can't really expect me to come up with a last line for a bloody limerick with all this stuff blowing my head right now, man(eeee)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 08, 2008, 08:59:17 PM
I knew a few limerick addicts
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: McWawa on January 09, 2008, 12:20:04 AM

I knew a few limerick addicts
got stuck with their heads in the matrix
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on January 09, 2008, 07:04:02 AM
I knew a few limerick addicts
got stuck with their heads in the matrix
But one clever sod
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on January 09, 2008, 07:26:28 AM
I knew a few limerick addicts
got stuck with their heads in the matrix
But one clever sod
who's a 'limerick god'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 09, 2008, 08:43:36 AM
I knew a few limerick addicts
got stuck with their heads in the matrix
But one clever sod
who's a 'limerick god'
said ‘Matrix don’t rhyme with Addicts’


Yours Sincerely,
Limerick God.
Seize those worthless wretches. Take them to the holding cell.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 09, 2008, 09:43:16 AM
So YelnickMcWawa's a wretch?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 09, 2008, 09:53:57 AM
So YelnickMcWawa's a wretch?
And also a fat leering lech?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 09, 2008, 10:32:40 AM
So YelnickMcWawa's a wretch?
And also a fat leering lech?
Who would have known,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 09, 2008, 10:38:46 AM
So YelnickMcWawa's a wretch?
And also a fat leering lech?
Who would have known,
He’d die sad and alone
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on January 09, 2008, 11:04:03 AM
So YelnickMcWawa's a wretch?
And also a fat leering lech?
Who would have known,
He’d die sad and alone
Goodness me, this is really far fetched
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 09, 2008, 12:51:51 PM
Through the air flew a fleeing young fly
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Amie on January 09, 2008, 12:54:29 PM
Through the air flew a fleeing young fly
Who was flinging fine fleas with mince pie
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 09, 2008, 01:14:50 PM
Through the air flew a fleeing young fly
Who was flinging fine fleas with mince pie
By a wing and a prayer
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 09, 2008, 01:33:03 PM
Through the air flew a fleeing young fly
Who was flinging fine fleas with mince pie
By a wing and a prayer
and a measure of flair
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 09, 2008, 03:05:49 PM
Through the air flew a fleeing young fly
Who was flinging fine fleas with mince pie
By a wing and a prayer
and a measure of flair
He flung a fine flea in the eye
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on January 10, 2008, 12:48:13 AM
The Limerickers here are quite sassy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on January 10, 2008, 03:23:19 AM
The Limerickers here are quite sassy
But their founder isnt quite a young lassy
Almost sixty and fat
A blob on the mat                                                 (sorry couldnt resist that !)


Ok you finish it I wont be offended!!LOL
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 10, 2008, 03:28:10 AM
The Limerickers here are quite sassy
But their founder isnt quite a young lassy
Almost sixty and fat
A blob on the mat
But she still likes a roll in the grassy!   ;D     
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: CaddyJ on January 10, 2008, 03:33:59 AM
The redneck tried being a poet
But the metre for such he did blow it
Not quite fourty nine
And out of his mind                    (your turn friends, no worries!  ;D)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 10, 2008, 05:53:49 AM
The redneck tried being a poet
But the metre for such he did blow it
Not quite fourty nine
And out of his mind
He's insane but he just doesn't know it.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 10, 2008, 06:12:29 AM
A fat bottomed floozy named Zelda
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 10, 2008, 06:26:58 AM
A fat bottomed floozy named Zelda
stood on a chair and propelled a
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: chillies on January 10, 2008, 06:33:43 AM
A fat bottomed floozy named Zelda
stood on a chair and propelled a
large dinner plate
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on January 10, 2008, 06:37:48 AM
A fat bottomed floozy named Zelda
stood on a chair and propelled a
large dinner plate
on to her mate
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 10, 2008, 06:40:00 AM
A fat bottomed floozy named Zelda
stood on a chair and propelled a
large dinner plate
on to her mate
Where it smashed on her forehead and felled her
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: chillies on January 10, 2008, 06:47:05 AM
A toothless old crone called Bertha
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on January 10, 2008, 06:48:13 AM
A toothless old crone called Bertha
Went to the woods to unearth a
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 10, 2008, 06:50:58 AM
A toothless old crone called Bertha
Went to the woods to unearth a
pair of false teeth
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 10, 2008, 07:08:04 AM
A toothless old crone called Bertha
Went to the woods to unearth a
pair of false teeth
and a hostage from Leith
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Gyppo on January 10, 2008, 07:11:25 AM
A toothless old crone called Bertha
Went to the woods to unearth a
pair of false teeth
and a hostage from Leith
till the gravedigger came and re-earthed her.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 10, 2008, 07:32:44 AM
An inspector of taxes named Hunt
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 10, 2008, 07:55:08 AM
An inspector of taxes named Hunt
Found his taxing checking pencil was blunt
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 10, 2008, 07:59:55 AM
An inspector of taxes named Hunt
Found his tax checking pencil was blunt
So he borrowed my pen
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 10, 2008, 08:03:14 AM
An inspector of taxes named Hunt
Found his taxing checking pencil was blunt
So he borrowed my pen
And had just clicked it when…
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 10, 2008, 08:24:23 AM
An inspector of taxes named Hunt
Found his tax checking pencil was blunt
So he borrowed my pen
And had just clicked it when…
I spilt really hot tea down his front.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 10, 2008, 08:31:27 AM
Tsssk.


Hmmm. You see,

I was expecting more from you there Citabria old pal.  A last minute swerve eg.
‘It exploded all over the poor fellow’  You’re supposed to be the man who boldly goes where no decent right-thinking person with any taste or discretion would go.

But he spilt his tea. Dearie me.

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 10, 2008, 09:10:03 AM
You confused me by making the tax inspector a he!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 10, 2008, 09:18:08 AM
A pitiless tax girl with specs
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Mark H on January 10, 2008, 09:53:54 AM
A pitiless tax girl with specs
and a VAT man in bri-nylon keks
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 10, 2008, 10:10:32 AM
A pitiless tax girl with specs
and a VAT man in bri-nylon keks
died slowly and painfully
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: ellie on January 10, 2008, 04:03:12 PM
A pitiless tax girl with specs
and a VAT man in bri-nylon keks
died slowly and painfully
whilst mating very fleshly              (is there any other way,I ask myself ? :-\))
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: DGSquared on January 10, 2008, 05:33:05 PM
A pitiless tax girl with specs
and a VAT man in bri-nylon keks
died slowly and painfully
whilst mating very fleshly              (is there any other way,I ask myself ? ))
because they were having hot sex.
 
Is that better Sir Nigel? Not that I'm picking up the ball for Cita. ;) Down boy.  ??? Must everything we say have those connotations. ::) :D
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Big T on January 10, 2008, 11:57:45 PM
life without sex is dull    ;D
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts
Post by: Lin on January 11, 2008, 03:35:36 AM
Life without sex is dull 
And in Scotland they do it on Mull
But the sheep are unmoved 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: chillies on January 11, 2008, 04:34:13 AM
Life without sex is dull
And in Scotland they do it on Mull
But the sheep are unmoved
It has been proved

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 11, 2008, 04:39:25 AM
Life without sex is dull 
And in Scotland they do it on Mull
But the sheep are unmoved
It has been proved
It’s like doing it with someone from Hull
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 11, 2008, 04:43:49 AM
There was a young Genie called Phuk  (Valid name in Thailand!)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 11, 2008, 05:51:03 AM
There was a young Genie called Phuk
And his surname of Kew brought bad luck
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: chillies on January 11, 2008, 10:55:35 AM
There was a young Genie called Phuk
And his surname of Kew brought bad luck
Unluckier even still

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 11, 2008, 11:13:20 AM
There was a young Genie called Phuk
And his surname of Kew brought bad luck
Unluckier still
They nicknamed him Will
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Gyppo on January 11, 2008, 11:40:33 AM
There was a young Genie called Phuk
And his surname of Kew brought bad luck
Unluckier still
They nicknamed him Will
but he altered his first name to Fuque.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lin on January 11, 2008, 11:59:16 AM
There was a young girl from Tokyo
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Gyppo on January 11, 2008, 12:29:11 PM
There was a young girl from Tokyo
who met an Italian called Romeo
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 11, 2008, 01:17:58 PM
There was a young girl from Tokyo
who met an Italian called Romeo
She walked down his back
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lightning on January 11, 2008, 01:27:22 PM
There was a young girl from Tokyo
Who met an Italian called Romeo
she walked down his back
until she heard it crack
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 11, 2008, 02:04:45 PM
There was a young girl from Tokyo
Who met an Italian called Romeo
she walked down his back
and fell in his crack      (slight mod... hope you don't mind)
he farted and now she's in Borneo!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lin on January 11, 2008, 02:30:17 PM
Now can we be boring have some clean limericks!!LOL

Lin x x x x
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 11, 2008, 03:40:37 PM
Mr. Clean was a boring old chap
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lightning on January 11, 2008, 04:02:55 PM
with his bucket in hand
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 11, 2008, 04:30:14 PM
Mr. Clean was a boring old chap
with his bucket in hand couldn't clap   Hope you don't mind that I altered it a bit to make it fit. ;)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Amie on January 11, 2008, 07:07:10 PM
Mr. Clean was a boring old chap
with his bucket in hand couldn't clap
so though tidy and trim
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Gyppo on January 11, 2008, 07:59:47 PM
Mr. Clean was a boring old chap
with his bucket in hand couldn't clap
so though tidy and trim
his outlook was dim
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Xerika on January 11, 2008, 08:24:09 PM
Mr. Clean was a boring old chap
with his bucket in hand couldn't clap
so though tidy and trim
his outlook was dim
and the rest of his life was just crap (Keep it clean but keep it negative  ;D)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Gyppo on January 11, 2008, 08:42:15 PM
When speaking of actions immoral  Let's see you keep it clean after such a fecund opening line ;-)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Xerika on January 11, 2008, 09:24:22 PM
When speaking of actions immoral  Let's see you keep it clean after such a fecund opening line ;-)
there were shenanigans up at Balmoral
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 11, 2008, 09:39:14 PM
When speaking of actions immoral
there were shenanigans up at Balmoral
Camilla and Charles
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 11, 2008, 09:51:22 PM
When speaking of actions immoral
there were shenanigans up at Balmoral
Camilla and Charles
Streaked through the great halls
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 11, 2008, 09:55:08 PM
When speaking of actions immoral
there were shenanigans up at Balmoral
Camilla and Charles
Streaked through the great halls
and the Queen saw two more 'annus horrible'  (or something like that)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 12, 2008, 12:39:19 AM
Poor royals... always the butts of the joke! :D

Timmy T was a regular bloke
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lime and Tequila on January 12, 2008, 12:42:21 AM
Timmy T was a regular bloke
Who enjoyed a cold beer and a smoke
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: chillies on January 12, 2008, 03:34:17 AM
Timmy T was a regular bloke
Who enjoyed a cold beer and a smoke
But alas one day
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lin on January 12, 2008, 05:28:45 AM
Timmy T was a regular bloke
Who enjoyed a cold beer and a smoke
But alas one day
Down the pub in the Bay
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ellie on January 12, 2008, 01:48:57 PM
TimmyT was a regular bloke
Who enjoyed a cold beer and a smoke
But alas one day
Down the pub in the Bay
He did both at once and did choke


I swam in the sea and turned blue
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lightning on January 12, 2008, 02:40:46 PM
I can't reach the shore, what do I do?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Gyppo on January 12, 2008, 05:29:02 PM
I swam in the sea and turned blue
I can't reach the shore, what do I do?
Should I holler and shout
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lime and Tequila on January 12, 2008, 05:35:43 PM
I swam in the sea and turned blue
I can't reach the shore, what do I do?
Should I holler and shout.
maybe just thrash about?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Xerika on January 12, 2008, 05:40:21 PM
I swam in the sea and turned blue
I can't reach the shore, what do I do?
Should I holler and shout.
maybe just thrash about?
Oh whoops, I've just done a poo.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Gyppo on January 12, 2008, 05:43:06 PM
Those who crap in the sea are disgusting...
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 12, 2008, 05:58:59 PM
Those who crap in the sea are disgusting
and their bums are in need of adjusting
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Gyppo on January 12, 2008, 07:33:21 PM
Those who crap in the sea are disgusting
and their bums are in need of adjusting
a large cork might suffice
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Xerika on January 12, 2008, 07:52:36 PM
Those who crap in the sea are disgusting
and their bums are in need of adjusting
a large cork might suffice
or a big block of ice
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Gyppo on January 12, 2008, 09:09:29 PM
Those who crap in the sea are disgusting
and their bums are in need of adjusting
a large cork might suffice
or a big block of ice
to hold it all in 'til they're bustin'.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 12, 2008, 09:38:34 PM
Lousy litterbugs ought to be shot
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Maxine on January 12, 2008, 10:43:10 PM
Lousy litterbugs ought to be shot
And given their own little plot
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 13, 2008, 01:06:03 AM
Lousy litterbugs ought to be shot
And given their own little plot
Pick up their own trash
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Maxine on January 13, 2008, 02:06:29 AM
Not paid any cash
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 13, 2008, 05:04:12 PM
Lousy litterbugs ought to be shot
And given their own little plot
Pick up their own trash
Not paid any cash
And then planted in landfills to rot
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lin on January 14, 2008, 06:24:43 AM
I really liked that limerick - well done

Lin x x x
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 14, 2008, 06:31:13 AM
I really liked that limerick - well done
it was both eco friendly and fun
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lin on January 14, 2008, 07:10:46 AM
I really liked that limerick - well done
it was both eco friendly and fun
With such caring folks
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 14, 2008, 08:29:35 AM
I really liked that limerick - well done
it was both eco friendly and fun
With such caring folks
and their cheap vulgar jokes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 14, 2008, 02:52:06 PM
I really liked that limerick - well done
it was both eco friendly and fun
With such caring folks
and their cheap vulgar jokes
No wonder this site is such fun!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 14, 2008, 02:54:26 PM
A penguin was sniffing pink panties
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 14, 2008, 03:31:15 PM
A penguin was sniffing pink panties
they're my Nan's or maybe my aunty's
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 14, 2008, 04:44:37 PM
A penguin was sniffing pink panties
they're my Nan's or maybe my aunty's
when right up his nose
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 14, 2008, 05:07:43 PM
A penguin was sniffing pink panties
they're my Nan's or maybe my aunty's
when right up his nose
a stray curly hair goes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 14, 2008, 05:18:11 PM
A penguin was sniffing pink panties
they're my Nan's or maybe my aunty's
when right up his nose
a stray curly hair goes
planted by some wild vigilantes
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 14, 2008, 06:43:36 PM
Death by pubic hair how tragic!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 14, 2008, 06:51:48 PM
Death by pubic hair how tragic!
He honestly thought it was magic
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 14, 2008, 06:54:55 PM
Death by pubic hair how tragic!
He honestly thought it was magic
But a look down his throat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lime and Tequila on January 14, 2008, 06:58:28 PM
Death by pubic hair how tragic!
He honestly thought it was magic
But a look down his throat
showed more hair than a goat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 14, 2008, 07:07:03 PM
Death by pubic hair how tragic!
He honestly thought it was magic
But a look down his throat
showed more hair than a goat
revealing he wasn't pelagic
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Gyppo on January 14, 2008, 07:41:37 PM
Pelagic fish are largely round-bodied  (Not the flattened bottom-dwellers)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 14, 2008, 07:46:15 PM
Pelagic fish are largely round-bodied
And they taste really good when they're barbied
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 14, 2008, 08:30:24 PM
Pelagic fish are largely round-bodied
And they taste really good off the barbi 
with lemon and salt
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Xerika on January 14, 2008, 08:33:03 PM
Pelagic fish are largely round-bodied
And they taste really good off the barbi

Alert! Alert!

Moderator intervention required immediately!!!

CaddyJ has told us how he likes his fish cooked but hasn't rhymed with 'bodied'

Alert! Alert!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 14, 2008, 09:32:54 PM
Pelagic fish are largely round-bodied
And they taste really good off the barbi

Alert! Alert!

Moderator intervention required immediately!!!

CaddyJ has told us how he likes his fish cooked but hasn't rhymed with 'bodied'

Alert! Alert!
We shall see...


Pelagic fish are largely round-bodied
And they taste really good when they're barbied 
with lemon and salt
and a wee bit of malt
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Xerika on January 14, 2008, 09:43:45 PM
Pelagic fish are largely round-bodied
And they taste really good when they're barbied
with lemon and salt
and a wee bit of malt
they're almost as good as a veggie-burger (OK, CaddyJ. I guess you win)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 14, 2008, 10:02:20 PM
There was a bumbling farmer of olives (Note to X ~ there's about 50 of these 67 pages that will make you blow a gasket so take your meds before reading the rest)

rhym·ing.
–noun 1. identity in sound of some part, esp. the end, of words or lines of verse
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Xerika on January 14, 2008, 10:15:42 PM
There was a bumbling farmer of olives
who just loved to sniff the adhesives
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 14, 2008, 10:40:07 PM
There was a bumbling farmer of olives
who just loved to sniff the adhesives    ? 8)
made all their heads ache
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 14, 2008, 11:08:48 PM
There was a bumbling farmer of olives
who just loved to sniff the adhesives    ?  8)
made all their heads ache
till she stepped on a rake
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Xerika on January 14, 2008, 11:27:11 PM
There was a bumbling farmer of olives
who just loved to sniff the adhesives    ?  Cool
made all their heads ache
till she stepped on a rake
and the apple was not one of Eves's (Yeah, OK CaddyJ, don't rub it in. You threw me a wobbly one there and I failed completely.)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Xerika on January 14, 2008, 11:28:46 PM
There was a failed rhymist called Xerika
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 14, 2008, 11:42:22 PM
There was a failed rhymist called Xerika
who made a good friend in America              (humbly accepted ~ no harm no foul)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lin on January 15, 2008, 02:19:02 AM
There was a failed rhymist called Xerika
who made a good friend in America
She had one in France
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 15, 2008, 03:28:30 AM
There was a failed rhymist called Xerika
Who made a good friend in America
She had one in France
That taught her to dance
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 15, 2008, 05:31:17 AM
There was a failed rhymist called Xerika
Who made a good friend in America
She had one in France
That taught her to dance
wearing wellington boots and a burkha.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lin on January 15, 2008, 06:34:44 AM
Lin's flying to London this week

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 15, 2008, 07:16:06 AM
Lin's flying to London this week
Is she some sort of half-bird freak??
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 15, 2008, 07:20:49 AM
Lin's flying to London this week
Is she some sort of half-bird freak??
Or maybe a witch?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Gyppo on January 15, 2008, 07:39:29 AM
Lin's flying to London this week
Is she some sort of half-bird freak??
Or maybe a witch?
With a nose that that will twitch
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 15, 2008, 07:50:26 AM
Lin's flying to London this week
Is she some sort of half-bird freak??
Or maybe a witch?
With a nose that that will twitch;
or a wombat with wings and a beak?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lin on January 15, 2008, 08:25:10 AM
Outside its raining, cold and windy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 15, 2008, 08:37:28 AM
Outside its raining, cold and windy
I should never have left Rawalpindi
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 15, 2008, 09:39:14 AM
Outside its raining, cold and windy
I should never have left Rawalpindi
Oh how I loved the Punjab
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 15, 2008, 09:43:37 AM
Outside its raining, cold and windy
I should never have left Rawalpindi
Oh how I loved the Punjab
Out there I saw nothing but sun……..Bob
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 15, 2008, 09:48:03 AM
Outside its raining, cold and windy
I should never have left Rawalpindi
Oh how I loved the Punjab
Out there I saw nothing but sun……..Bob
which is how you say shilling in Hindi.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 15, 2008, 09:48:46 AM
I was chatting to Bruce on the bat-phone
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 15, 2008, 10:00:14 AM
I was chatting to Bruce on the bat-phone
He’d just bought some tights from a fat crone
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 15, 2008, 10:08:07 AM
I was chatting to Bruce on the bat-phone
He’d just bought some tights from a fat crone.
They were fishnets he said
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lin on January 15, 2008, 10:19:31 AM
I was chatting to Bruce on the bat-phone
He’d just bought some tights from a fat crone.
They were fishnets he said
Whilst he laid in her bed
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 15, 2008, 10:26:51 AM
I was chatting to Bruce on the bat-phone
He’d just bought some tights from a fat crone.
They were fishnets he said
Whilst he laid in her bed
in a haze of bat-Eau de Cologne
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 15, 2008, 11:41:17 AM
A belly dancer from the Mid East
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 15, 2008, 11:45:55 AM
A belly dancer from the Mid East
Met a flaming prancer with false teeth
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 15, 2008, 11:50:20 AM
A belly dancer from the Mid East
Met a flaming prancer with false teeth
His teeth fell to the floor
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Amie on January 15, 2008, 12:08:39 PM
A belly dancer from the Mid East
Met a flaming prancer with false teeth
His teeth fell to the floor
when he met a cute whore
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 15, 2008, 12:12:12 PM
A belly dancer from the Mid East
Met a flaming prancer with false teeth
His teeth fell to the floor
when he met a cute whore -
a big breasted Welsh girl from Neath
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 15, 2008, 12:50:15 PM
A bowlegged Texan from Dallas
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Amie on January 15, 2008, 01:30:28 PM
A bowlegged Texan from Dallas
Had developed an oddly-placed callus
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 15, 2008, 01:37:30 PM
A bowlegged Texan from Dallas
Had developed an oddly-placed callus
on the tip of his tongue
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Amie on January 15, 2008, 02:22:36 PM
A bowlegged Texan from Dallas
Had developed an oddly-shaped callus
on the tip of his tongue
for he'd overdone
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 15, 2008, 02:36:13 PM
A bowlegged Texan from Dallas
Had developed an oddly-shaped callus
on the tip of his tongue
for he'd overdone
Royally kissing the queen in her palace  :-*
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 15, 2008, 02:43:06 PM
He blushed when he saw the page number
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Amie on January 15, 2008, 02:49:10 PM
He blushed when he saw the page number
the smut-minded vicar from Humber
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 15, 2008, 02:50:43 PM
He blushed when he saw the page number
the smut-minded vicar from Humber
for right in his lap
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 15, 2008, 02:51:49 PM
He blushed when he saw the page number
the smut-minded vicar from Humber
for right in his lap
there's the head of some chap
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Amie on January 15, 2008, 03:14:03 PM
He blushed when he saw the page number
the smut-minded vicar from Humber
for right in his lap
there's the head of some chap -
who (honest!) just wanted some slumber.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 15, 2008, 03:23:48 PM
A crooked old dame from Nepal
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 15, 2008, 03:34:59 PM
A crooked old dame from Nepal
loved a Gurkha with only one ball.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 15, 2008, 04:05:02 PM
A crooked old dame from Nepal
loved a Gurkha with only one ball.
They wanted a son
 
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Xerika on January 15, 2008, 07:45:05 PM
A crooked old dame from Nepal
loved a Gurkha with only one ball.
They wanted a son
but when all's said and done
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Gyppo on January 15, 2008, 07:49:18 PM
A crooked old dame from Nepal
loved a Gurkha with only one ball.
They wanted a son
but when all's said and done
they wound up with Sweet Bugger All.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lin on January 16, 2008, 02:54:46 AM
Jane flew over Paris in a plane
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: chillies on January 16, 2008, 03:17:04 AM
Jane flew over Paris in a plane
That damn girl must be insane
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 16, 2008, 03:28:29 AM
Jane flew over Paris in a plane
That damn girl must be insane
She's flapping her arms
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 16, 2008, 04:39:17 AM
Jane flew over Paris in a plane
That damn girl must be insane
She's flapping her arms
thus wafting her charms
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 16, 2008, 04:45:06 AM
Jane flew over Paris in a plane
That damn girl must be insane
She's flapping her arms
thus wafting her charms
As she jets off to Benidorm in Spain
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 16, 2008, 09:30:02 AM
Deodorant is passé in Paris
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 16, 2008, 09:36:13 AM
Deodorant is passé in Paris
so those Texans all smell like Rolf Harris
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 16, 2008, 09:41:06 AM
Deodorant is passé in Paris
so those Texans all smell like Rolf Harris
Tying kangaroos down
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Amie on January 16, 2008, 10:29:34 AM
Deodorant is passé in Paris
so those Texans all smell like Rolf Harris
Tying kangaroos down
Garbed in "couture de clown"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lin on January 16, 2008, 10:46:28 AM
Deodorant is passé in Paris
so those Texans all smell like Rolf Harris
Tying kangaroos down
Garbed in "couture de clown"
And essence of platypus cialis
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 16, 2008, 10:59:40 AM
Samantha was nibbling my nachos
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 16, 2008, 11:13:10 AM
Samantha was nibbling my nachos
while I was after soft tacos
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lin on January 16, 2008, 12:00:52 PM
Samantha was nibbling my nachos
while I was after soft tacos
When the bits in the middle
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 16, 2008, 12:15:27 PM
Samantha was nibbling my nachos
while I was after soft tacos
When the bits in the middle
Sang "Hey diddle diddle!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 16, 2008, 04:12:27 PM
Samantha was nibbling my nachos
while I was after soft tacos
When the bits in the middle
Sang "Hey diddle diddle,
the bitch ran away with the toes."
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ellie on January 16, 2008, 05:04:57 PM
The pussy was huge furry and grey
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 16, 2008, 05:53:39 PM
The pussy was huge furry and grey
and smelt like Sir Nigel's toupee
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ellie on January 16, 2008, 05:58:17 PM
The pussy was huge furry and grey
and smelt like Sir Nigel's toupee
It had quite a bite
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ma100 on January 16, 2008, 06:11:03 PM
The pussy was huge furry and grey
and smelt like Sir Nigel's toupee
It had quite a bite
and put up a fight
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 16, 2008, 06:16:08 PM
The pussy was huge furry and grey
and smelt like Sir Nigel's toupee
It had quite a bite
and put up a fight
No wonder the bugger's a stray!
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 16, 2008, 09:44:15 PM
A Go Go girl from Patpong
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 17, 2008, 03:30:56 AM
A Go Go girl from Patpong
Met a roué who said Hello and Ding Dong
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 17, 2008, 03:35:22 AM
A Go Go girl from Patpong
Met a roué who said Hello and Ding Dong
I've no cash in my pocket
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 17, 2008, 03:36:32 AM
A Go Go girl from Patpong
Met a roué who said Hello and Ding Dong
I've no cash in my pocket
But I own a big rocket
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 17, 2008, 03:41:58 AM
A Go Go girl from Patpong
Met a roué who said Hello and Ding Dong
I've no cash in my pocket
But I own a big rocket
That's why my mates all call me King Kong
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 17, 2008, 03:43:26 AM
A writer alone on the beach
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 17, 2008, 03:56:27 AM
A writer alone on the beach
Penned "Darling I want to reach
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 17, 2008, 04:06:00 AM
A writer alone on the beach
Penned "Darling I want to reach
a tumescent state
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 17, 2008, 04:15:47 AM
A writer alone on the beach
Penned "Darling I want to reach
a tumescent state
I really can't wait
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 17, 2008, 04:39:54 AM
A writer alone on the beach
Penned "Darling I want to reach
a tumescent state
I really can't wait
I’ve bought condoms at 50p each
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 17, 2008, 04:46:03 AM
These boys with their minds in the gutter  :P ;D
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 17, 2008, 04:47:56 AM
These boys with their minds in the gutter
Why not join us? - I’ll bring the butter
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 17, 2008, 04:49:01 AM
These boys with their minds in the gutter
Why not join us? - I’ll bring the butter
to go with the cheese
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 17, 2008, 04:50:11 AM
These boys with their minds in the gutter
Why not join us? - I’ll bring the butter
to go with the cheese
Oh! Don't tempt me please  8)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 17, 2008, 04:51:30 AM
These boys with their minds in the gutter
Why not join us? - I’ll bring the butter
to go with the cheese
Oh! Don't tempt me please
Do you prefer wood or my putter?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 17, 2008, 08:10:47 AM
In the gutter I stared at the stars
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 17, 2008, 08:35:18 AM
In the gutter I stared at the stars
as I dodged the bikes and the cars
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 17, 2008, 09:08:32 AM
In the gutter I stared at the stars
as I dodged the bikes and the cars
But the sight of Uranus
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 17, 2008, 09:33:16 AM
In the gutter I stared at the stars
as I dodged the bikes and the cars
But the sight of Uranus
is enough to sustain us
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 17, 2008, 09:38:23 AM
In the gutter I stared at the stars
as I dodged the bikes and the cars
But the sight of Uranus
is enough to sustain us
As is Jupiter, Pluto and Mars.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 17, 2008, 09:42:57 AM
Some Japanese whale murdering thugs
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 17, 2008, 10:01:37 AM
Some Japanese whale murdering thugs
On their day off were torturing slugs
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Gyppo on January 17, 2008, 10:25:24 AM
Some Japanese whale murdering thugs
On their day off were torturing slugs
they lashed one to the mast
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 17, 2008, 10:39:19 AM
Some Japanese whale murdering thugs
On their day off were torturing slugs
they lashed one to the mast
and then they minced past
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Amie on January 17, 2008, 10:43:08 AM
Some Japanese whale murdering thugs
On their day off were torturing slugs
they lashed one to the mast
and then they minced past
before stopping to pull wings off bugs.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 17, 2008, 11:00:23 AM
Whilst eating some whale meat he choked
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Gyppo on January 17, 2008, 11:46:16 AM
Whilst eating some whale meat he choked
as the Dolphins all swam past and joked
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 17, 2008, 11:48:38 AM
Whilst eating some whale meat he choked
as the Dolphins all swam past and joked,
"As soon as he's dead
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Amie on January 17, 2008, 11:54:32 AM
Whilst eating some whale meat he choked
as the Dolphins all swam past and joked,
"As soon as he's dead
I'll be nibbling his head"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Gyppo on January 17, 2008, 11:58:09 AM
Whilst eating some whale meat he choked
as the Dolphins all swam past and joked,
"As soon as he's dead
I'll be nibbling his head"
and in a salt marinade he'll be soaked.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 17, 2008, 07:02:25 PM
Some people say hedgehogs are quilly
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Gyppo on January 17, 2008, 07:28:24 PM
Some people say hedgehogs are quilly
but I've not seen one write, so that's silly.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 17, 2008, 07:56:12 PM
Some people say hedgehogs are quilly
but I've not seen one write, so that's silly.
If one had a pen
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Xerika on January 17, 2008, 08:12:38 PM
Some people say hedgehogs are quilly
but I've not seen one write, so that's silly.
If one had a pen
he'd sit in his den
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 17, 2008, 08:21:12 PM
Some people say hedgehogs are quilly
but I've not seen one write, so that's silly.
If one had a pen
he'd sit in his den
wrapped in blankets 'cause he thinks it's chilly
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 18, 2008, 03:27:45 AM
A group of excitable vicars
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 18, 2008, 03:39:24 AM
A group of excitable vicars
strode out in black winkle pickers
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 18, 2008, 05:00:46 AM
A group of excitable vicars
strode out in black winkle pickers
and hair although sparse                (come on now get the next line right!)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 18, 2008, 05:16:55 AM
A group of excitable vicars
strode out in black winkle pickers
and hair although sparse
still looked really first class  (they were posh speakin’ vicars like)  
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Amie on January 18, 2008, 05:24:35 AM
A group of excitable vicars
strode out in black winkle pickers
and hair although sparse
still looked really first class
as it peeked out the top of their knickers.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 18, 2008, 05:26:19 AM
Oh! - she just had to say knickers.
vicars knickers
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Amie on January 18, 2008, 05:32:27 AM
I'm sorry, I thought there was some sort of legislation that demanded that combo.  Shall I have another go and not use vicars? (edit:  I meant "knickers" - you see how synonymous those two terms are with me?  knickers = vicars)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Amie on January 18, 2008, 05:33:36 AM
A group of excitable vicars
strode out in black winkle pickers
and hair although sparse
still looked really first class
and attracted a group of boot-lickers.


Any better?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 18, 2008, 05:39:00 AM
'Lick my boots' said the Reverend Green
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 18, 2008, 05:53:31 AM
'Lick my boots' said the Reverend Green
then smother my scrotum with cream
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 18, 2008, 05:58:11 AM
'Lick my boots' said the Reverend Green
then smother my scrotum with cream
then take a courgette
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Amie on January 18, 2008, 06:00:18 AM
'Lick my boots' said the Reverend Green
then smother my scrotum with cream
then take a courgette
and a small gerbil-pet
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 18, 2008, 06:11:09 AM
'Lick my boots' said the Reverend Green
then smother my scrotum with cream
then take a courgette
and a small gerbil-pet
and you say you are only fifteen?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 18, 2008, 06:25:01 AM
I was hacking a zombie to death
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 18, 2008, 06:28:32 AM
I was hacking a zombie to death
And with the effort was quite out of breath
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 18, 2008, 06:51:47 AM
I was hacking a zombie to death
And with the effort was quite out of breath
so I took a short break
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 18, 2008, 07:03:51 AM
I was hacking a zombie to death
And with the effort was quite out of breath
so I took a short break
for coffee and cake
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 18, 2008, 07:11:54 AM
I was hacking a zombie to death
And with the effort was quite out of breath
so I took a short break
for coffee and cake
and a quick shot of ice (crystal meth)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 18, 2008, 08:20:12 AM
The meth head, a killer of zombies
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Amie on January 18, 2008, 09:33:36 AM
The meth head, a killer of zombies
was out one night dining on mommies
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 18, 2008, 09:35:40 AM
The meth head, a killer of zombies
was out one night dining on mommies
when a werewolf from Stoke
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 18, 2008, 09:39:30 AM
The meth head, a killer of zombies
was out one night dining on mommies
when a werewolf from Stoke
- a blasé sort of bloke
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Xerika on January 18, 2008, 08:17:43 PM
The meth head, a killer of zombies
was out one night dining on mommies
when a werewolf from Stoke
- a blasé sort of bloke
said, "I'd rather be eating some Pommies."  (The particular Stoke where he came from obviously being the one in Northern Australia.)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lin on January 20, 2008, 08:38:35 AM
Whilst stuck for seven hours at Heathrow  (Yeah guess what my flight was cancelled- horrendous)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 20, 2008, 09:04:26 AM
Whilst stuck for seven hours at Heathrow
she tried picking her nose with her toe
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: chillies on January 20, 2008, 09:22:14 AM
Whilst stuck for seven hours at Heathrow
she tried picking her nose with her toe
A remarkable feat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 20, 2008, 09:32:48 AM
Whilst stuck for seven hours at Heathrow
she tried picking her nose with her toe
A remarkable feat
though hardly discreet
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Gyppo on January 20, 2008, 02:01:01 PM
Whilst stuck for seven hours at Heathrow
she tried picking her nose with her toe
A remarkable feat
though hardly discreet
as the video footage doth show ;-)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 20, 2008, 02:41:57 PM
In the US, we like to watch football
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lin on January 20, 2008, 03:18:36 PM
In the US, we like to watch football
Or soccer as some may recall
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 20, 2008, 05:39:33 PM
In the US, we like to watch football
Or soccer as some may recall
Though in fact they may differ
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 20, 2008, 06:29:36 PM
In the US, we like to watch football
Or soccer as some may recall
Though in fact they may differ
Don't be a jock sniffer
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 20, 2008, 06:47:51 PM
In the US, we like to watch football
Or soccer as some may recall
Though in fact they may differ
Don't be a jock sniffer
you'll end up nosing the wrong balls
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 21, 2008, 12:16:35 AM
CaddyJ from Texas did hail
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 21, 2008, 12:18:57 AM
CaddyJ from Texas did hail
And for London England he sailed
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 21, 2008, 12:48:58 AM
CaddyJ from Texas did hail
And for London England he sailed
He sank in the Channel
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 21, 2008, 12:49:59 AM
CaddyJ from Texas did hail
And for London England he sailed
He sank in the Channel
All wrapped up in flannel
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 21, 2008, 12:52:34 AM
CaddyJ from Texas did hail
And for London England he sailed
He sank in the Channel
All wrapped up in flannel
Then he tried bailing but failed
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 21, 2008, 12:54:22 AM
(blub blub)

Big T was once a firefighter of Britain
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 21, 2008, 12:55:57 AM
Big T was once a firefighter of Britain
about whom nothing was written
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 21, 2008, 01:18:58 AM
Big T was once a firefighter of Britain
about whom nothing was written
Until some fat Texan
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lin on January 21, 2008, 03:04:34 AM
Big T was once a firefighter of Britain
about whom nothing was written
Until some fat Texan
With a hose of perfection
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Amie on January 21, 2008, 03:15:58 AM
Big T was once a firefighter of Britain
about whom nothing was written
Until some fat Texan
With a hose of perfection
said, "I know where this'll be fittin'!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 21, 2008, 03:17:25 AM
The girls here are so bad they're good
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 21, 2008, 03:21:52 AM
The girls here are so bad they're good
they wouldn't be good if they could
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 21, 2008, 03:49:11 AM
The girls here are so bad they're good
they wouldn't be good if they could
Where's the fun in that
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 21, 2008, 05:21:30 AM
The girls here are so bad they're good
they wouldn't be good if they could
"Where's the fun in that?"
said the girl in the hat
as she fondled a nice piece of wood.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 21, 2008, 05:47:16 AM
The pilot in his roomy cockpit
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lin on January 21, 2008, 05:53:59 AM
The pilot in his roomy cockpit
Discovered a large piece of doo doo
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 21, 2008, 05:57:28 AM
The pilot in his roomy cockpit
Discovered a large piece of doo doo
"cause when he sat down
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Gyppo on January 21, 2008, 08:39:20 AM
The pilot in his roomy cockpit
Discovered a large piece of doo doo
"cause when he sat down
a soft squelch made him frown
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 21, 2008, 08:47:31 AM
The pilot in his roomy cockpit
Discovered a large piece of doo doo
'cause when he sat down
a soft squelch made him frown
then he screamed, "that's not doo doo it's shit!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lin on January 21, 2008, 08:50:49 AM
Trying hard to be diplomatic
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Gyppo on January 21, 2008, 09:34:39 AM
Trying hard to be diplomatic
I shoot 'furriners' with my automatic
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 21, 2008, 03:47:19 PM
Trying hard to be diplomatic
I shoot 'furriners' with my automatic
be they frenchies or frogs
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 21, 2008, 03:54:26 PM
Trying hard to be diplomatic
I shoot 'furriners' with my automatic
be they frenchies or frogs
with buns or hot-dogs
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 21, 2008, 04:05:01 PM
Trying hard to be diplomatic
I shoot 'furriners' with my automatic
be they frenchies or frogs
with buns or hot-dogs
no matter, they still smell aquatic.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 21, 2008, 04:23:23 PM
A fisherman hailed from the south
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 21, 2008, 04:33:14 PM
A fisherman hailed from the south
his names was Hieronymus Louth   
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 21, 2008, 04:36:02 PM
A fisherman hailed from the south
his name was Hieronymus Louth
He fell on his knife 

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 21, 2008, 04:38:19 PM
A fisherman hailed from the south
his name was Hieronymus Louth
He fell on his knife
when tripped by his wife
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 21, 2008, 04:42:25 PM
A fisherman hailed from the south
his name was Hieronymus Louth
He fell on his knife
when tripped by his wife
who saw pubic hair in his mouth
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 21, 2008, 07:22:32 PM
(not hers I suppose)

There was a dolphin of great oral talent
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Xerika on January 21, 2008, 08:23:28 PM
There was a dolphin of great oral talent
who was also incredibly gallant
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 21, 2008, 09:20:00 PM
There was a dolphin of great oral talent
who was also incredibly gallant
He swam to her aid
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 21, 2008, 09:22:31 PM
There was a dolphin of great oral talent
who was also incredibly gallant
He swam to her aid
though she was a mermaid
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Xerika on January 21, 2008, 09:39:28 PM
There was a dolphin of great oral talent
who was also incredibly gallant
He swam to her aid
though she was a mermaid
and soon he was breathing in fish scent.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 21, 2008, 09:44:37 PM
xylophone players go 'plink-plonk'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Xerika on January 21, 2008, 09:54:12 PM
xylophone players go 'plink-plonk'
which is hard when you're having a sing-song
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 21, 2008, 09:56:20 PM
xylophone players go 'plink-plonk'
which is hard when you're having a sing-song
one player went 'plunk'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Xerika on January 21, 2008, 09:59:41 PM
xylophone players go 'plink-plonk'
which is hard when you're having a sing-song
one player went 'plunk'
and then did a bunk
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 21, 2008, 10:36:04 PM
xylophone players go 'plink-plonk'
which is hard when you're having a sing-song
one player went 'plunk'
and then did a bunk
singing "Gimme, gimme, gimme some honky tonk ...
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 21, 2008, 11:28:20 PM
All the writers stepped up to the plate
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 21, 2008, 11:30:11 PM
All the writers stepped up to the plate
Not one of them was running late
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 21, 2008, 11:50:14 PM
All the writers stepped up to the plate
Not one of them was running late
with poetry and prose
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 21, 2008, 11:51:04 PM
All the writers stepped up to the plate
Not one of them was running late
with poetry and prose
and greased elbows
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 22, 2008, 02:20:00 AM
All the writers stepped up to the plate
Not one of them was running late
with poetry and prose
and greased elbows
they started the greatest debate   (Who was going to win Poetry Comp #10!)  :)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lin on January 22, 2008, 05:20:24 AM
I bought some meal worms for my ducks
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 22, 2008, 05:22:26 AM
I bought some meal worms for my ducks
for the meal worms that really sucks
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ma100 on January 22, 2008, 05:46:03 AM
I bought some meal worms for my ducks
for the meal worms that really sucks
but last supper they were
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 22, 2008, 10:53:46 AM
I bought some meal worms for my ducks
for the meal worms that really sucks
but last supper they were
really making a stir
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ma100 on January 22, 2008, 10:57:36 AM
I bought some meal worms for my ducks
for the meal worms that really sucks
but last supper they were
really making a stir
Revenge sweet, ducks loaded on trucks.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 22, 2008, 11:06:12 AM
Florence the duck flittered and flapped
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 22, 2008, 12:35:17 PM
Florence the duck flittered and flapped
Her migration south was all mapped
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 22, 2008, 12:36:48 PM
Florence the duck flittered and flapped
Her migration south was all mapped
until stuffed in a truck
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 22, 2008, 12:39:09 PM
Florence the duck flittered and flapped
Her migration south was all mapped
until stuffed in a truck
She said, "What in the cluck?!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 22, 2008, 12:44:58 PM
Florence the duck flittered and flapped
Her migration south was all mapped
until stuffed in a truck
She said, "What in the cluck?!"
Those meal worms I ate have me trapped!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lin on January 22, 2008, 01:55:04 PM
The meal worms were wriggling and squirming
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Amie on January 22, 2008, 02:12:33 PM
The meal worms were wriggling and squirming
Like puppies in need of some worming
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 22, 2008, 02:19:19 PM
The meal worms were wriggling and squirming
Like puppies in need of some worming
or like used mutant condoms
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 22, 2008, 11:47:08 PM
The meal worms were wriggling and squirming
Like puppies in need of some worming
or like used mutant condoms
waved around like pink pom pom's
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 22, 2008, 11:50:32 PM
The meal worms were wriggling and squirming
Like puppies in need of some worming
or like used mutant condoms
waved around like pink pom pom's
It was acrobatics the wrigglers were learning!



King Ollie was blown off the loo
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 22, 2008, 11:59:46 PM
King Ollie was blown off the loo
Oh yeah ... I saw that story too
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 23, 2008, 12:04:07 AM
King Ollie was blown off the loo
Oh yeah ... I saw that story too
his privates exploded
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 23, 2008, 12:07:00 AM
King Ollie was blown off the loo
Oh yeah ... I saw that story too
his privates exploded
then bollocks imploded
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 23, 2008, 12:12:56 AM
King Ollie was blown off the loo
Oh yeah ... I saw that story too
his privates exploded
then bollocks imploded
his remains were then fed to the zoo




The HaroHalola was an unstable ship
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 23, 2008, 12:16:37 AM
The HaroHalola was an unstable ship
in rough seas up and down she would dip
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 23, 2008, 12:19:39 AM
The HaroHalola was an unstable ship
in rough seas up and down she would dip
she let loose a torpedo
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 23, 2008, 12:22:39 AM
The HaroHalola was an unstable ship
in rough seas up and down she would dip
she let loose a torpedo
its target was you know  (who)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 23, 2008, 12:26:49 AM
The HaroHalola was an unstable ship
in rough seas up and down she would dip
she let loose a torpedo
its target was you know  (who)
on the up she took down an airship!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 23, 2008, 12:28:12 AM
The airship did fall to the deck
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 23, 2008, 12:29:33 AM
The airship did fall to the deck
Captain T said get rid of this wreck!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 23, 2008, 12:49:43 AM
The airship did fall to the deck
Captain T said get rid of this wreck!
So CJ was thrown overboard
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 23, 2008, 04:32:02 AM
The airship did fall to the deck
Captain T said get rid of this wreck!
So CJ was thrown overboard (even though this doesn’t flipping scan)
With his prudish Aunt Maud
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 23, 2008, 04:43:39 AM
The airship did fall to the deck
Captain T said get rid of this wreck!
Push CJ over board                                   (even though this doesn’t flipping scan - and now?)
With his prudish Aunt Maud
and a big noose for Sir Nigel's neck
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 23, 2008, 04:45:03 AM
Just for a change, I thought we could try and write a limerick in Danish. For those of you who don’t speak Danish, just make it up, like I did.

Een muensche war gefuffelt mit Schplot
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 23, 2008, 04:49:34 AM
Een muensche war gefuffelt mit Schplot
Ing flatbrut men hingleblort flot
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 23, 2008, 04:53:41 AM
Een muensche war gefuffelt mit Schplot
Ing flatbrut men hingleblort flot
“Oh stecken sein flonger!”
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 23, 2008, 05:03:48 AM
Een muensche war gefuffelt mit Schplot
Ing flatbrut men hingleblort flot
“Oh stecken sein flonger!”
huuked Ronald VanDonger
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 23, 2008, 05:12:21 AM
Een muensche war gefuffelt mit Schplot
Ing flatbrut men hingleblort flot
“Oh stecken sein flonger!”
huuked Ronald VanDonger
Und er schlaargered sein kransch in der mott!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lin on January 23, 2008, 07:02:52 AM
Oh My God what next?? LOL  Is it Nederdeutsche?  Dunglish? or Duitslisch?


There was a young man who liked chocolate
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 23, 2008, 07:37:12 AM
There was a young man who liked chocolate
He would scoff it whilst dreaming of Spock a lot
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ma100 on January 23, 2008, 07:47:24 AM
There was a young man who liked chocolate
He would scoff it whilst dreaming of Spock a lot
The dream was explicit






 



Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 23, 2008, 08:07:16 AM
There was a young man who liked chocolate
He would scoff it whilst dreaming of Spock a lot
The dream was explicit
- it had Jacqueline Bisset
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ma100 on January 23, 2008, 08:44:22 AM
There was a young man who liked chocolate
He would scoff it whilst dreaming of Spock a lot
The dream was explicit
- it had Jacqueline Bisset
But I think he was more into Spock,Do you not?
 
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: chillies on January 23, 2008, 02:01:48 PM
A fork up the nose is not good
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 23, 2008, 02:03:44 PM
A fork up the nose is not good
nor is burning a cross in a hood
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ma100 on January 23, 2008, 03:51:56 PM
A fork up the nose is not good
nor is burning a cross in a hood
bleeding nose,hair on fire
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 23, 2008, 05:25:17 PM
A fork up the nose is not good
nor is burning a cross in a hood
bleeding nose,hair on fire,
calling Pope a liar
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Xerika on January 23, 2008, 07:44:41 PM
A fork up the nose is not good
nor is burning a cross in a hood
bleeding nose,hair on fire,
calling Pope a liar
or listening to Glen's "In the Mood"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ma100 on January 23, 2008, 07:57:04 PM
You can get yourself in trouble
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 23, 2008, 07:59:44 PM
You can get yourself in trouble
Trying to burst someone's bubble
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Xerika on January 23, 2008, 08:01:21 PM
You can get yourself in trouble
Trying to burst someone's bubble
And try as you might
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 23, 2008, 08:03:49 PM
You can get yourself in trouble
Trying to burst someone's bubble
And try as you might
It still isn't right
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ma100 on January 23, 2008, 08:05:47 PM
You can get yourself in trouble
Trying to burst someone's bubble
And try as you might
It still isn't right
So sod it go for a double
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Xerika on January 23, 2008, 08:13:46 PM
There's a wonderful game called 'Cricket'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 23, 2008, 08:16:16 PM
There's a wonderful game called 'Cricket'
Is it played with a bat or a wicket?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Xerika on January 23, 2008, 08:17:51 PM
There's a wonderful game called 'Cricket'
Is it played with a bat or a wicket?
"With both," he replied
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 23, 2008, 08:20:52 PM
There's a wonderful game called 'Cricket'
Is it played with a bat or a wicket?
"With both," he replied
I couldn't decide
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Xerika on January 23, 2008, 08:23:59 PM
There's a wonderful game called 'Cricket'
Is it played with a bat or a wicket?
"With both," he replied
I couldn't decide
so I got on my knees and just licked it
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Xerika on January 23, 2008, 08:49:51 PM
There was an Irish barman called Tom
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 23, 2008, 08:51:10 PM
There was an Irish barman called Tom
with a temperment far from calm
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 23, 2008, 08:54:19 PM
There was an Irish barman called Tom
with a temperament far from calm
meditate, he could not
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Xerika on January 23, 2008, 08:57:14 PM
There was an Irish barman called Tom
with a temperament far from calm
meditate, he could not
his mind was all shot
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 23, 2008, 09:07:41 PM
There was an Irish barman called Tom
with a temperament far from calm
meditate, he could not
his mind was all shot
the man was a ticking time bomb!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Xerika on January 23, 2008, 09:16:36 PM
CJ and DG. That's weird how you know this guy so well. He's a good friend of mine and you've described him exactly! Be well and prosper. Off to bed myself but I suppose I should leave something behind....

There once was a short bloke called Howard
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 23, 2008, 09:18:30 PM
There once was a short bloke called Howard
but Howard was far from a coward
 
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 23, 2008, 09:59:16 PM
There once was a short bloke called Howard
but Howard was far from a coward
He was quick with a joke
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 23, 2008, 10:03:34 PM
There once was a short bloke called Howard
but Howard was far from a coward
He was quick with a joke
or to light up your smoke
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 24, 2008, 03:30:58 AM
There once was a short bloke called Howard
but Howard was far from a coward
He was quick with a joke
or to light up your smoke
but don't leave a beer ... it's devoured
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lin on January 24, 2008, 04:03:56 AM
Whilst devouring a large T-bone steak
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: chillies on January 24, 2008, 04:06:22 AM
Whilst devouring a large T-bone steak
I had to stop for a break
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Gyppo on January 24, 2008, 05:19:25 AM
Whilst devouring a large T-bone steak
I had to stop for a break
My mushrooms grew cold
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 24, 2008, 08:14:19 AM
Whilst devouring a large T-bone steak
I had to stop for a break
My mushrooms grew cold
and then I was told
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 24, 2008, 09:26:56 AM
Whilst devouring a large T-bone steak
I had to stop for a break
My mushrooms grew cold
and then I was told
that the bone in my steak was a fake.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 24, 2008, 10:45:07 AM
A hungry chap cried,"Where's the beef!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 24, 2008, 10:48:34 AM
A hungry chap cried,"Where's the beef?"
"I've nicked it! yelled the food thief
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 24, 2008, 11:46:55 AM
A hungry chap cried,"Where's the beef?"
"I've nicked it! yelled the food thief
"Your arse on a plate!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 24, 2008, 12:10:37 PM
A hungry chap cried,"Where's the beef?"
"I've nicked it! yelled the food thief
"Your arse on a plate!
Then a nice After Eight,"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 24, 2008, 12:33:51 PM
A hungry chap cried,"Where's the beef?"
"I've nicked it! yelled the food thief
"Your arse on a plate!
Then a nice After Eight,"
before we create a loud queef!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lin on January 24, 2008, 12:42:05 PM
There once was a chef from Queef
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 24, 2008, 12:47:57 PM
There once was a chef from Queef
in desperate need of relief
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ma100 on January 24, 2008, 01:37:55 PM
There once was a chef from Queef
in desperate need of relief
his body all sweaty
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 24, 2008, 01:57:32 PM
There once was a chef from Queef
in desperate need of relief
his body all sweaty
he grabbed hold of Betty
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ma100 on January 24, 2008, 03:27:17 PM
There once was a chef from Queef
in desperate need of relief
his body all sweaty
he grabbed hold of Betty
who was cutting up the roast beef.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 24, 2008, 11:14:40 PM
The seamstress couldn't sew or knit
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 24, 2008, 11:40:27 PM
The seamstress couldn't sew or knit
but her dress, oh how it fit
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 25, 2008, 12:22:02 AM
The seamstress couldn't sew or knit
but her dress, oh how it fit
with one arm that's long
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ma100 on January 25, 2008, 04:08:31 AM
The seamstress couldn't sew or knit
but her dress, oh how it fit
with one arm that's long
the hem had gone wrong
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 25, 2008, 04:13:04 AM
The seamstress couldn't sew or knit
but her dress, oh how it fit
with one arm that's long
the hem had gone wrong
but on her it's excellent kit
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 25, 2008, 04:53:09 AM
CaddyJ made some chilli ice cream
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ma100 on January 25, 2008, 05:27:40 AM
CaddyJ made some chilli ice cream
but jalapenos made his eyes stream
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Gyppo on January 25, 2008, 10:23:40 AM
CaddyJ made some chilli ice cream
but jalapenos made his eyes stream.
Topped withnuts and tabasco
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 25, 2008, 10:26:49 AM
CaddyJ made some chilli ice cream
but jalapenos made his eyes stream.
Topped with nuts and tabasco
It may look a fiasco
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 25, 2008, 10:39:35 AM
CaddyJ made some chilli ice cream
but jalapenos made his eyes stream.
Topped with nuts and tabasco
It may look a fiasco
but it tastes like an absolute dream.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ma100 on January 25, 2008, 10:45:58 AM
Citabria is rather partial to rum
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lin on January 25, 2008, 11:39:06 AM
Citabria is rather partial to rum
And sometimes some mint chewing gum
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 25, 2008, 11:41:16 AM
Citabria is rather partial to rum
And sometimes some mint chewing gum
but I'd heard he liked gin
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: JAS on January 25, 2008, 12:39:32 PM
Citabria is rather partial to rum
And sometimes some mint chewing gum
but I'd heard he liked gin
while taking a spin
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ma100 on January 25, 2008, 12:58:48 PM
Citabria is rather partial to rum
And sometimes some mint chewing gum
but I'd heard he liked gin
while taking a spin
on skates,oops! now thats dumb
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 25, 2008, 04:38:15 PM
Citabria fell down on his bum
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Gyppo on January 25, 2008, 04:47:39 PM
Citabria fell down on his bum
and broke a full bottle of rum
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: JAS on January 25, 2008, 04:51:40 PM
Citabria fell down on his bum
and broke a full bottle of rum
He should have been thinking
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 25, 2008, 05:03:06 PM
Citabria fell down on his bum
and broke a full bottle of rum
He should have been thinking
Heck no he was drinking
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: JAS on January 25, 2008, 05:07:05 PM
Citabria fell down on his bum
and broke a full bottle of rum
He should have been thinking
Heck no he was drinking
and now he has broken his thumb.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 25, 2008, 05:15:37 PM
Hitch hiking is not his best suit
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on January 25, 2008, 05:17:07 PM
Hitch hiking is not his best suit.
He's neither clean, friendly or cute.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 25, 2008, 05:18:07 PM
Hitch hiking is not his best suit.
He's neither clean, friendly or cute.
But with the help of some gin
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on January 25, 2008, 05:20:14 PM
Hitch hiking is not his best suit.
He's neither clean, friendly or cute.
But with the help of some gin
and a 'come hither' grin
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 25, 2008, 05:22:58 PM
Hitch hiking is not his best suit.
He's neither clean, friendly or cute.
But with the help of some gin
and a 'come hither' grin
He snagged a sweet ride with his root
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ma100 on January 25, 2008, 05:26:51 PM
Caddy and M.Belle were chatting
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Gyppo on January 25, 2008, 05:29:26 PM
Caddy and M.Belle were chatting
his stomach pulled in, her 'lids batting
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 25, 2008, 05:30:26 PM
Caddy and M.Belle were chatting
his stomach pulled in, her 'lids batting
He soon ran out of air
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Gyppo on January 25, 2008, 05:32:05 PM
Caddy and M.Belle were chatting
his stomach pulled in, her 'lids batting
He soon ran out of air
let it sag in despair
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: JAS on January 25, 2008, 05:34:13 PM
Caddy and M.Belle were chatting
his stomach pulled in, her 'lids batting
He soon ran out of air
let it sag in despair
So now he'll have to go catting.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 25, 2008, 05:35:41 PM
Caddy and M.Belle were chatting
his stomach pulled in, her 'lids batting
He soon ran out of air
let it sag in despair
So now he'll have to go catting.   or  ( Now M.Belle is wrapped up in his padding!)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: JAS on January 25, 2008, 05:37:00 PM
 :-X
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Gyppo on January 25, 2008, 05:38:34 PM
Gyppo went riding, no hands!  (Just to show willing.  Do your worst folks.)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 25, 2008, 05:39:56 PM
Gyppo went riding, no hands!
So he had to resort to his glands
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: JAS on January 25, 2008, 05:42:36 PM
Gyppo went riding, no hands!
So he had to resort to his glands
with his tongue firmly planted
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 25, 2008, 05:44:38 PM
Gyppo went riding, no hands!
So he had to resort to his glands
with his tongue firmly planted
and his cycle too slanted
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 25, 2008, 06:11:13 PM
Gyppo went riding, no hands!
So he had to resort to his glands
with his tongue firmly planted
and his cycle too slanted
he pedalled along Blackpool Sands.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ma100 on January 25, 2008, 06:18:49 PM
Now shattered from his long ride
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Big T on January 25, 2008, 09:09:24 PM
Now shattered from his long ride
Sidecar steaming, glowing with pride
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 25, 2008, 10:54:32 PM
Now shattered from his long ride
Sidecar steaming, glowing with pride
His passenger's eyes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 25, 2008, 11:22:42 PM
Now shattered from his long ride
Sidecar steaming, glowing with pride
His passenger's eyes
As wide as moon pies
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: JAS on January 26, 2008, 12:01:53 AM
Now shattered from his long ride
Sidecar steaming, glowing with pride
His passenger's eyes
As wide as moon pies
"Oh please don't tip over," she cried.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on January 26, 2008, 01:21:49 AM
My dog likes barking at night
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 26, 2008, 01:22:44 AM
My dog likes barking at night
Gives my neighbors quite a fright
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on January 26, 2008, 06:34:57 AM

My dog likes barking at night
Gives my neighbors quite a fright
But my hubby, he'll snore
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 26, 2008, 07:20:46 AM
My dog likes barking at night
Gives my neighbors quite a fright
But my hubby, he'll snore
till the whinger next door
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on January 26, 2008, 08:13:04 AM
My dog likes barking at night
Gives my neighbors quite a fright
But my hubby, he'll snore
till the whinger next door
calls us and threatens to fight.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 26, 2008, 08:24:03 AM
The postman seemed very displeased
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ma100 on January 26, 2008, 11:33:24 AM
The postman seemed very displeased
when she took the letter and sneezed
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 26, 2008, 12:03:58 PM
The postman seemed very displeased
when she took the letter and sneezed
but then he perked up
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ma100 on January 26, 2008, 12:34:44 PM
The postman seemed very displeased
when she took the letter and sneezed
but then he perked up
when handed a cup
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: cleopatra on January 26, 2008, 01:04:37 PM
The postman seemed very displeased
when she took the letter and sneezed
but then he perked up
when hand a cup
of orange juice that was freshly squeezed


Last night I consulted the Sphinx
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 26, 2008, 02:05:38 PM
Last night I consulted the Sphinx
but I never found out what he thinks
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 26, 2008, 02:19:25 PM
Last night I consulted the Sphinx
but I never found out what he thinks
It stared as if stoned
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 26, 2008, 02:41:27 PM
Last night I consulted the Sphinx
but I never found out what he thinks
It stared as if stoned
like a youth on the phone
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 26, 2008, 04:58:44 PM
Last night I consulted the Sphinx
but I never found out what he thinks
It stared as if stoned
like a youth on the phone
I don't even think that it blinks
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ma100 on January 26, 2008, 05:05:02 PM
I broke out in lumps and bumps
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 26, 2008, 05:06:41 PM
I broke out in lumps and bumps
For a moment I thought I had mumps
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ma100 on January 26, 2008, 05:21:27 PM
I broke out in lumps and bumps
For a moment I thought I had mumps
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ma100 on January 26, 2008, 05:23:48 PM
oops!

I broke out in lumps and bumps
For a moment I thought I had mumps
My face all distorted
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 26, 2008, 05:42:03 PM
I broke out in lumps and bumps
For a moment I thought I had mumps
My face all distorted
my love life was thwarted
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ma100 on January 26, 2008, 05:51:14 PM
I broke out in lumps and bumps
For a moment I thought I had mumps
My face all distorted
my love life was thwarted
and that gave the ol man the grumps
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Mark H on January 26, 2008, 05:52:49 PM
My flipper was starting to itch
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ma100 on January 26, 2008, 05:59:45 PM
My flipper was starting to itch
my foot began to twitch
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on January 26, 2008, 09:10:48 PM
My flipper was starting to itch,
my foot began to twitch.
The octopus eyed me
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Gyppo on January 27, 2008, 04:49:27 AM
My flipper was starting to itch,
my foot began to twitch.
The octopus eyed me
but a shark had espied me
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on January 27, 2008, 07:14:20 AM
My flipper was starting to itch,
my foot began to twitch.
The octopus eyed me
but a shark had espied me
so I knew I'd get et, but by which?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ellie on January 27, 2008, 04:34:14 PM
There once was a man called Fernando
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 27, 2008, 05:16:47 PM
There once was a man called Fernando
Was in the Tooth Fairy Commando
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ma100 on January 27, 2008, 05:24:02 PM
There once was a man called Fernando
Was in the Tooth Fairy Commando
He was getting quite cold
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Gyppo on January 27, 2008, 05:40:52 PM
There once was a man called Fernando
Was in the Tooth Fairy Commando
He was getting quite cold
and his clothes, green with mould
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Xerika on January 27, 2008, 08:49:04 PM
There once was a man called Fernando
Was in the Tooth Fairy Commando
He was getting quite cold
and his clothes, green with mould
made him look just like Marlon Brando
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 27, 2008, 08:54:11 PM
Citabria was an old tail-dragger
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: DGSquared on January 27, 2008, 09:34:55 PM
Citabria was an old tail-dragger
He walked with a definite swagger  ;D
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 27, 2008, 09:36:35 PM
Citabria was an old tail-dragger
He walked with a definite swagger
while landing cross-wind
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: JAS on January 27, 2008, 11:33:52 PM
Citabria was an old tail-dragger
He walked with a definite swagger
while landing cross-wind
the wing, it did bend
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 27, 2008, 11:35:22 PM
Citabria was an old tail-dragger
He walked with a definite swagger
while landing cross-wind
the wing, it did bend
and now he's twins with Mick Jagger
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ma100 on January 28, 2008, 01:04:54 AM
What makes me stay up all night?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 28, 2008, 01:55:33 AM
What makes me stay up all night?
Is it your insatiable urge to write?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: ma100 on January 28, 2008, 02:01:39 AM
What makes me stay up all night?
Is it your insatiable urge to write?
Possibly, but I think it's more
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on January 28, 2008, 02:30:30 AM
What makes me stay up all night?
Is it your insatiable urge to write?
Possibly, but I think it's more
and has to do with how you snore.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 28, 2008, 03:23:28 AM
What makes me stay up all night?
Is it your insatiable urge to write?
Possibly, but I think it's more
and has to do with how you snore.
Are you trying to start a fight? :D
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 28, 2008, 04:37:16 AM
Our Robert was nobbut a lad
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: chillies on January 28, 2008, 04:53:30 AM
Our Robert was nobbut a lad
And folk said "he's just like his dad"


Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Rhyming Dictionary essential!
Post by: Lin on January 28, 2008, 05:34:16 AM
Our Robert was nobbut a lad
And folk said "he's just like his dad"
Then one day last week
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on January 28, 2008, 06:04:45 AM
Our Robert was nobbut a lad
And folk said "he's just like his dad"
Then one day last week
a girl kissed his cheek
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on January 28, 2008, 10:51:12 AM
Our Robert was nobbut a lad
And folk said "he's just like his dad"
Then one day last week
a girl kissed his cheek
and wi' passion the lad's turned quite mad.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on January 28, 2008, 05:26:52 PM
The natives were growing quite restless
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 28, 2008, 07:15:52 PM
The natives were growing quite restless
Their huts had been lined with asbestous
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on January 28, 2008, 09:55:04 PM
The natives were growing quite restless
Their huts had been lined with asbestous
painfully itchy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 29, 2008, 04:42:40 AM
The natives were growing quite restless
Their huts had been lined with asbestos
painfully itchy
said the wicked old witchy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on January 29, 2008, 06:15:04 AM
The natives were growing quite restless
Their huts had been lined with asbestos
"painfully itchy,"
said the wicked old witchy,
"and all the gals become chestless."   :o
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: CaddyJ on January 29, 2008, 10:37:41 PM
All the natives were missing their breasts
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Big T on January 29, 2008, 11:23:18 PM
All the natives were missing their breasts
and the non natives were missing their chests
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on January 30, 2008, 02:18:45 AM
All the natives were missing their breasts
and the non natives were missing their chests
When along came a spider
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Big T on January 30, 2008, 04:05:15 AM
All the natives were missing their breasts
and the non natives were missing their chests
When along came a spider
hanging on to his glider
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 31, 2008, 05:45:10 AM
All the natives were missing their breasts
and the non natives were missing their chests
When along came a spider
hanging on to his glider
With a large stock of false-bosomed vests 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on January 31, 2008, 06:01:34 AM
A porpoise was having some fun
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on January 31, 2008, 06:09:39 AM
A porpoise was having some fun
with a dolphin dressed up as a nun
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ma100 on January 31, 2008, 05:17:18 PM

A porpoise was having some fun
with a dolphin dressed up as a nun
They swam and they frolicked








 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 01, 2008, 04:11:40 AM
A porpoise was having some fun
with a dolphin dressed up as a nun
They swam and they frolicked
They ningled and nollicked
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 01, 2008, 04:22:16 AM
A porpoise was having some fun
with a dolphin dressed up as a nun
They swam and they frolicked
They ningled and nollicked
then shared a post coital bath bun.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 01, 2008, 06:06:11 AM
When light-hearted Willy fell sick
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ma100 on February 01, 2008, 07:11:17 AM
When light-hearted Willy fell sick
He called for his friend tricky Dick
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 01, 2008, 07:53:19 AM
When light-hearted Willy fell sick
He called for his friend tricky Dick
Dick said ‘Oh Willy’
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ma100 on February 01, 2008, 08:01:44 AM
When light-hearted Willy fell sick
he called for his friend tricky Dick
Dick said "oh Willy"
"you don't arff' look silly"    (think that's it hehe)





 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on February 01, 2008, 12:19:50 PM
When light-hearted Willy fell sick
He called for his friend tricky Dick
Dick said "Oh Willy"
"You don't half look silly"
Willy replied "Are you taking the mick?"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on February 01, 2008, 12:35:11 PM
While Hiking in the Mountains
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: CaddyJ on February 01, 2008, 12:46:22 PM
While Hiking in the Mountains
We came across sparkling fountains
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ma100 on February 01, 2008, 04:25:29 PM
While Hiking in the Mountains
We came across sparkling fountains
all rested and refreshed
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on February 01, 2008, 05:00:24 PM
While hiking in the mountains
We came across sparkling fountains
all rested and refreshed
and with sunshine blessed
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ma100 on February 02, 2008, 04:44:00 PM
While hiking in the mountains
We came across sparkling fountains
all rested and refreshed
and with sunshine blessed
We should get home at about ten     (best I could do sorry)

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on February 02, 2008, 07:35:40 PM
The airplane ride was quite bumpy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on February 02, 2008, 07:56:56 PM
The airplane ride was quite bumpy
the wind was decidedly 'lumpy'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Xerika on February 02, 2008, 08:02:48 PM
The airplane ride was quite bumpy
the wind was decidedly 'lumpy'
the pilot was auto
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on February 02, 2008, 09:13:22 PM
The airplane ride was quite bumpy
The wind was decidedly 'lumpy'
The pilot was auto,
Co-pilot was naught-o,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on February 02, 2008, 09:37:34 PM
The airplane ride was quite bumpy
The wind was decidedly 'lumpy'
The pilot was auto,
Co-pilot was naught-o,
and the stewardess felt very jumpy.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: fett80 on February 03, 2008, 12:23:54 PM
The plane started to plummet,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: CaddyJ on February 03, 2008, 02:29:32 PM
The plane started to plummet,
passengers wished they could thumb it
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: JAS on February 03, 2008, 03:18:44 PM
The plane started to plummet,
passengers wished they could thumb it
but thus they were seated
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on February 03, 2008, 03:44:37 PM
The plane started to plummet,
passengers wished they could thumb it
but thus they were seated
and about to be depleted
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: CaddyJ on February 04, 2008, 02:14:45 AM
The plane started to plummet,
passengers wished they could thumb it
but thus they were seated
and about to be depleted
or something not very far from it!



The hole in the ground was smoking
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on February 04, 2008, 03:37:58 AM
The hole in the ground was smoking
the fire ants fleeing and choking
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Xantarian on February 04, 2008, 10:38:51 AM
The hole in the ground was smoking
the fire ants fleeing and choking
as they sped up a vent
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: CaddyJ on February 04, 2008, 10:46:51 AM
The hole in the ground was smoking
the fire ants fleeing and choking
as they sped up a vent
a message was sent
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on February 04, 2008, 11:49:21 AM
The hole in the ground was smoking
the fire ants fleeing and choking
as they sped up a vent
a message was sent...
"The boy with the match was just joking."
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on February 04, 2008, 11:51:38 AM
There once was a dwarf name Ollie
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: JAS on February 04, 2008, 11:58:20 AM
There once was a dwarf name Ollie
who was extremely cute and jolly
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on February 04, 2008, 06:58:59 PM
There once was a dwarf name Ollie
who was extremely cute and jolly,
but his love was so tall
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: CaddyJ on February 04, 2008, 07:43:52 PM
There once was a dwarf name Ollie
who was extremely cute and jolly,
but his love was so tall
when they went to the mall
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on February 05, 2008, 02:26:37 AM
There once was a dwarf name Ollie
who was extremely cute and jolly,
but his love was so tall,
when they went to the mall,
shoppers thought she carried her dolly.


Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: sugy on February 05, 2008, 11:34:07 PM
The weather is dull and gloomy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on February 06, 2008, 02:19:59 AM
The weather is dull and gloomy,
the motel here not roomy.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 06, 2008, 06:28:36 AM
The weather is dull and gloomy,
the motel here not roomy.
But whilst I've got methodone
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on February 06, 2008, 10:07:08 AM
The weather is dull and gloomy
The motel here not roomy
But whilst I've got methodone
I'm happy on my own
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 06, 2008, 10:19:06 AM
The weather is dull and gloomy
The motel here not roomy
But whilst I've got methodone
I'm happy here on my own
Whilst I’m waiting for Mrs Tsetsumi.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: waterman54 on February 06, 2008, 12:09:26 PM
The man jumped out of the plane
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 06, 2008, 12:40:48 PM
The man jumped out of the plane
but then he jumped back in again
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: waterman54 on February 06, 2008, 12:47:15 PM
The man jumped out of the plane
but then he jumped back in again
because his parachute didn't open
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Amie on February 06, 2008, 01:04:33 PM
The man jumped out of the plane
but then he jumped back in again
'cos his chute wouldn't open
and his entrails were smokin'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: waterman54 on February 06, 2008, 01:17:20 PM
The man jumped out of the plane
but then he jumped back in again
'cos his chute wouldn't open
and his entrails were smokin'
The doc said he’d never walk the same
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on February 06, 2008, 02:58:30 PM
There once was a builder who was Dutch
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on February 06, 2008, 03:00:02 PM
There once was a builder who was Dutch
Who loved his trade so much
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on February 06, 2008, 03:03:17 PM
There once was a builder who was Dutch
Who loved his trade so much
As the resident cloggy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: JAS on February 06, 2008, 03:35:34 PM
There once was a builder who was Dutch
Who loved his trade so much
As the resident cloggy
with a cute little doggy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: chillies on February 07, 2008, 03:19:52 AM
There once was a builder who was Dutch
Who loved his trade so much
As the resident cloggy
with a cute little doggy
and a girlfriend who was ever so butch

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 07, 2008, 04:02:20 AM
She had hairs on her chinny chin chin
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on February 07, 2008, 07:33:25 AM
She had hairs on her chinny chin chin
Cos the menopause had surely set in
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on February 07, 2008, 10:35:26 AM
She had hairs on her chinny chin chin
Cos the menopause had surely set in
She shaved and she plucked
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on February 07, 2008, 10:49:04 AM
She had hairs on her chinny chin chin
Cos the menopause had surely set in
She shaved and she plucked
and was many times 'tucked'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on February 07, 2008, 11:39:52 AM
She had hairs on her chinny chin chin
Cos the menopause had surely set in
She shaved and she plucked
and was many times 'tucked'
so she no longer could manage a grin   ;D
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on February 07, 2008, 06:21:27 PM
There once was a rodeo clown
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on February 07, 2008, 06:27:43 PM
There once was a rodeo Clown
Who once in awhile would frown
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on February 07, 2008, 07:23:52 PM
There once was a rodeo Clown
Who once in awhile would frown
whilst dragged on his butt
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on February 07, 2008, 09:39:33 PM
There once was a rodeo Clown
Who once in awhile would frown
whilst dragged on his butt
by a bull in a rut
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on February 08, 2008, 06:36:53 AM
There once was a rodeo Clown
Who once in awhile would frown
whilst dragged on his butt
by a bull in a rut
Whilst wearing a red dressing gown
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on February 08, 2008, 11:18:11 AM
There once was a bull in a china shop
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on February 08, 2008, 01:04:08 PM
There once was a bull in a china shop,
backed up to the counter and did a 'flop'.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on February 08, 2008, 07:33:33 PM
There once was a bull in a china shop,
backed up to the counter and did a 'flop'.
The Wedgwood went bouncin'.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on February 09, 2008, 12:26:00 AM
There once was a bull in a china shop,
backed up to the counter and did a 'flop'.
The Wedgwood went bouncin'.
Stemware took a trouncin'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on February 09, 2008, 09:37:27 AM
There once was a bull in a china shop,
backed up to the counter and did a 'flop'.
The Wedgwood went bouncin'.
Stemware took a trouncin'
When this cow came in from the Co-op!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: waterman54 on February 09, 2008, 09:50:18 AM
There once was a fat uggly toad
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 09, 2008, 01:37:01 PM
There once was a fat ugly toad
whose abode was a fine pine commode
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Xerika on February 09, 2008, 08:08:51 PM
No,no no!!

I'm just not going to join in now because Citabria's new avatar thingy is way too scary and will probably keep me up all night. (Yes, I know what  you're thinking, Sir Nigel, if you're listening in.)

So this is a personal appeal to Citabria to change his icon thingy back to the nice cuddly, floaty, porpoisey, sunny thing you had before.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: CaddyJ on February 10, 2008, 04:53:35 PM
There once was a fat ugly toad
whose abode was a fine pine commode
when guests would drop in
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: quixote on February 10, 2008, 05:54:29 PM

There once was a fat ugly toad
whose abode was a fine pine commode
when guests would drop in
he would jiggle within
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 13, 2008, 05:16:55 AM
There once was a fat ugly toad
whose abode was a fine pine commode
when guests would drop in
he would jiggle within
until guests found their nether parts glowed
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 15, 2008, 10:44:22 AM
It seems that this thread’s had its day
Such rhymes are now dull and passé
Without occupation 
I’ll now head for the station
For a ticket to far Mandalay

No don’t try to stop me I’m going
I can now see which way the wind’s blowing
On a Far East verandah
Thai maidens will pander
my whims with much to-ing and fro-ing.

There I’ll reflect in my bungalow
on the olden days when I was young y’ know
When they couldn’t take time
to add one bleeding rhyme 
and how it now seems so so long ago.
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on February 15, 2008, 11:00:21 AM
Dear Nige I understand your plight
I feel there is no need to fight
But it just keeps on going
Like ploughing and mowing
And if theyre 'appy then that's just all right




Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on February 15, 2008, 01:50:23 PM
Sir Nige went to far Mandalay
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 15, 2008, 01:55:48 PM
Sir Nige went to far Mandalay
and proclaimed to the crowds, he was gay
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on February 15, 2008, 05:30:34 PM
Sir Nige went to far Mandalay
and proclaimed to the crowds, he was gay.
Someone said "He looks happy..."
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on February 16, 2008, 12:16:10 AM
Sir Nigel went to far Mandalay
and proclaimed to the crowds, he was gay.
Someone said "He looks happy..."
"And he sure dresses snappy!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 16, 2008, 03:15:32 AM
Sir Nigel went to far Mandalay
and proclaimed to the crowds, he was gay.
Someone said "He looks happy...
and sure dresses snappy;
but I don't like his ginger toupee!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on February 16, 2008, 06:01:57 AM
That ginger toupee is a cat
which Sir Nige swears will beat any hat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: chillies on February 17, 2008, 03:47:45 AM
That ginger toupee is a cat
which Sir Nige swears will beat any hat
Though cat-fights aplenty
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 17, 2008, 04:33:23 AM
That ginger toupee is a cat
which Sir Nige swears will beat any hat
Though cat-fights aplenty
(there were at least twenty)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on February 17, 2008, 07:56:31 AM
That ginger toupee is a cat
which Sir Nige swears will beat any hat
Though cat-fights aplenty
(there were at least twenty)
his 'rug' never fell on the mat.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 17, 2008, 01:25:42 PM
When he found that his wife was a witch
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on February 17, 2008, 03:04:16 PM
When he found that his wife was a witch
he hid all the pins from the bitch
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 17, 2008, 05:59:11 PM
When he found that his wife was a witch
he hid all the pins from the bitch
and he bleached her black cat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ma100 on February 17, 2008, 06:31:34 PM

When he found that his wife was a witch
he hid all the pins from the bitch
and he bleached her black cat
then cut the point off her hat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on February 17, 2008, 07:19:31 PM
When he found that his wife was a witch
he hid all the pins from the bitch
and he bleached her black cat
then cut the point off her hat
and whipped her with a switch
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on February 18, 2008, 02:59:05 AM
There once was a duck on the ice
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 18, 2008, 03:32:54 AM
There once was a duck on the ice
Who would turn any trick for a price
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on February 18, 2008, 06:38:06 AM
There once was a duck on the ice
Who would turn any trick for a price.
He loved crumbs of bread
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 18, 2008, 08:14:49 AM
There once was a duck on the ice
Who would turn any trick for a price.
He loved crumbs of bread
But was one day found dead
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 18, 2008, 08:43:12 AM
There once was a duck on the ice
Who would turn any trick for a price.
He loved crumbs of bread
But was one day found dead
So we cooked him in wine; which was nice.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 18, 2008, 08:45:04 AM
His name was Tiberius Quackers
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: chillies on February 18, 2008, 08:47:32 AM
His name was Tiberius Quackers
and his shows had many backers
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 18, 2008, 08:54:29 AM
His name was Tiberius Quackers
and his shows had many backers
But this tap dancing duck
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: chillies on February 18, 2008, 09:05:33 AM
His name was Tiberius Quackers
and his shows had many backers
But this tap dancing duck
one day went amuck
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 18, 2008, 10:22:02 AM
His name was Tiberius Quackers
and his shows had many backers
But this tap dancing duck
one day went amuck
But was felled by a kick in the knackers
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: JAS on February 18, 2008, 01:17:14 PM
There was an old man wearing knickers
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 18, 2008, 01:28:17 PM
There was an old man wearing knickers
They looked fab with his new winkle pickers
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on February 18, 2008, 01:59:26 PM
There was an old man wearing knickers
they looked fab with his new winkle pickers
He loved strutting about
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: JAS on February 18, 2008, 02:06:02 PM
There was an old man wearing knickers
they looked fab with his new winkle pickers
He loved strutting about
While raising a shout
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 18, 2008, 02:51:30 PM
There was an old man wearing knickers
they looked fab with his new winkle pickers
He loved strutting about
While raising a shout
about stout and dishonourable vicars.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 19, 2008, 06:40:23 AM
Whilst exhuming a corpse on the heath
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 19, 2008, 06:49:41 AM
Whilst exhuming a corpse on the heath
with a grave robber whose name was Keith
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 19, 2008, 06:57:59 AM
Whilst exhuming a corpse on the heath
with a grave robber whose name was Keith
I said ‘Keith, what’s that smell?’
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 19, 2008, 07:02:25 AM
Whilst exhuming a corpse on the heath
with a grave robber whose name was Keith
I said ‘Keith, what’s that smell?’
"That's my haemorrhoid gel,"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 19, 2008, 08:03:07 AM
Whilst exhuming a corpse on the heath
with a grave robber whose name was Keith
I said ‘Keith, what’s that smell?’
"That's my haemorrhoid gel -
it puts an Arctic-white shine on my teeth!”
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on February 19, 2008, 08:36:15 AM
Whilst Mary was picking her nose
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 19, 2008, 08:39:44 AM
Whilst Mary was picking her nose
She struck a peculiar pose
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: chillies on February 19, 2008, 10:05:40 AM
Whilst Mary was picking her nose
She struck a peculiar pose
With finger a-wedged
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on February 19, 2008, 03:37:27 PM
Whilst Mary was picking her nose
She struck a peculiar pose
With finger a-wedged
Her boagies she pledged
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on February 19, 2008, 03:46:15 PM
Whist Mary was picking her nose
She struck a peculiar pose
With finger a-wedged
Her boagies she pledged
to hide under the hose
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: sune on February 19, 2008, 07:44:28 PM
There was a woman jumping on the ground
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on February 19, 2008, 10:29:34 PM
There was a woman jumping on the ground
And squirming and writhing around
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Big T on February 19, 2008, 10:32:16 PM
There was a woman jumping on the ground
And squirming and writhing around
the worms looked on bored
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: sune on February 19, 2008, 10:41:35 PM
There was a woman jumping on the ground
And squirming and writhing around
the worms looked on bored
the grass smell as mowed
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Big T on February 19, 2008, 10:43:30 PM
There was a woman jumping on the ground
And squirming and writhing around
the worms looked on bored
the grass smell as mowed
because roast beef is five quid a pound
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: sune on February 19, 2008, 10:47:11 PM
Oh, dear..first time on limerics..feels GREAT..Thanks Big t and Don. :) ;) ;D

Now I do understand it...I think!!  ;D ;D..Thanks!!




Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Big T on February 20, 2008, 01:57:07 AM
There was a young gal from Kiwiland
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 20, 2008, 03:30:20 AM
Just a reminder to all readers young and old, old and new, thin and fat, that Limericks should go:

De dah De dah  De dah
De dah De dah De dah
De dah De dee
De dah De dee
De dah De dah De dah

or

a-piddley poddley poo
a-niddley noddley noo
a-tiddley tee
a-widdley wee
a-flibberty flobberty-floo

If you stray from this pattern there’s a great danger that you might come across like a tipsy old uncle blundering around the dance floor trying to get down with the hip cats. Because it’s a bit like having a sense of rhythm or a musical ear – you gotta get with the swing daddio.

See – Daddio – that’s how hip I am.  


Back to the Limerick:

There was a young gal from Kiwiland
who buried her head in the sand
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Big T on February 20, 2008, 04:11:32 AM
Thanks Sir Nigel ... I for one am very glad you posted that explanation ... I attempted to do it earlier ... and failed miserably ... I'll try and do better next time  ;D

There was a young gal from Kiwiland
who buried her head in the sand
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 20, 2008, 04:35:59 AM
There was a young gal from Kiwiland
who buried her head in the sand-
wiches at Subway
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 20, 2008, 04:46:32 AM
There was a young gal from Kiwiland
who buried her head in the sand-
wiches at Subway
In the Tuna and May
…onnaise.

I’ve just flipping posted a guide to successful limericking and you go and subvert the whole genre. Is there any wonder some people are rubbish at it? Some of these younger ones look to us for guidance you know.      
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 20, 2008, 05:11:35 AM
There was a young gal from Kiwiland
who buried her head in the sand-
wiches at Subway
In the Tuna and May
…onnaise. Which was really quite bland.

They may as well learn enjambment at the same time surely?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 20, 2008, 05:17:52 AM
You keep your filthy foreign practices to yourself. There might be children reading this.  


Humf
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on February 20, 2008, 05:24:00 AM
Sorry, I just couldn't resist...

Enjambment is not what you fear
it's not trapping your bits in a Deer,
nor losing your hands
in a some Sweet Damsel's glands
or exploring some Aristo's rear.

Okay, as a proper starting line...

I found I just could not resist
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 20, 2008, 05:56:27 AM
I found I just could not resist
Throwing stones at his head but I missed
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on February 20, 2008, 06:08:18 AM
I found I just could not resist
Throwing stones at his head but I missed
He's damned quick on his feet
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on February 20, 2008, 06:28:44 AM
I found I just could not resist
Throwing stones at his head but I missed.
He's damned quick on his feet
and without missing a beat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 20, 2008, 07:17:05 AM
I found I just could not resist
Throwing stones at his head but I missed.
He's damned quick on his feet
and without missing a beat
he punched me quite hard with his fist.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 20, 2008, 08:13:55 AM
There once was a girl called Loretta
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on February 20, 2008, 10:00:14 AM
There once was a girl called Loretta
Whose passion was a riding her Lambretta     
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on February 20, 2008, 11:35:06 AM
There once was a girl called Loretta
Whose passion was a riding her Lambretta
Her head gear was bright red
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on February 20, 2008, 10:08:25 PM
There once was a girl called Loretta
Whose passion was a riding her Lambretta
Her head gear was bright red
Like her face it is said
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 21, 2008, 04:29:35 AM
There once was a girl called Loretta
Whose passion was a riding her Lambretta
Her head gear was bright red
Like her face it is said
Which is why, in her mouth, was a letter.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 21, 2008, 04:40:31 AM
There's far too much spam in my inbox
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on February 21, 2008, 04:45:06 AM
There's far too much spam in my inbox,
and I wish to the senders the smallpox
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 21, 2008, 04:48:58 AM
There's far too much spam in my inbox,
and I wish to the senders the smallpox
they promise the earth
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 21, 2008, 04:51:06 AM
There's far too much spam in my inbox,
and I wish to the senders the smallpox
they promise the earth
or a much bigger girth
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 21, 2008, 04:53:37 AM
There's far too much spam in my inbox,
and I wish to the senders the smallpox
they promise the earth
or a much bigger girth
For those with quite diddy or small cocks
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 21, 2008, 05:16:05 AM
Don’t fall down that trapdoor Mrs. Mandrake   
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 21, 2008, 05:27:25 AM
Don’t fall down that trapdoor Mrs. Mandrake
'cause last time it made the whole house shake
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 21, 2008, 05:39:24 AM
Don’t fall down that trapdoor Mrs. Mandrake
'cause last time it made the whole house shake
You’re a great clumsy lardbucket
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on February 21, 2008, 05:47:32 AM
Don’t fall down that trapdoor Mrs. Mandrake
'cause last time it made the whole house shake.
You weave and you wobble
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on February 21, 2008, 06:01:57 AM
Oh dear which one do I choose??

Ill go for the easier one - lardbucket isnt easy to rhyme


Don’t fall down that trapdoor Mrs. Mandrake
'cause last time it made the whole house shake.
You weave and you wobble
With the rats you will squabble
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 21, 2008, 06:24:19 AM
lardbucket?? Difficult to rhyme??

What about…

he can a whole yard chuck it
this is really hard f**k it
This turnip is hard. Cook it.
have you had any card luck yet?
Took the hand of the Bard. Shook it.

I could go on…

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on February 21, 2008, 07:47:59 AM
Comment:  See!  Writers at play ;-)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 21, 2008, 08:33:59 AM
A lardbucket said, "f**k it, let's cook it!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 21, 2008, 08:37:07 AM
Hang on a minute. We haven’t finished yet.  


Don’t fall down that trapdoor Mrs. Mandrake
'cause last time it made the whole house shake.
You weave and you wobble
With the rats you will squabble
And they’ll steal all your doughnuts and cream cake.

Now:  


A lardbucket said, "f**k it, let's cook it!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 21, 2008, 08:45:08 AM
A lardbucket said, "f**k it, let's cook it!"
We’ll cook it right here in Nantucket!’
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 21, 2008, 08:50:54 AM
A lardbucket said, "f**k it, let's cook it!"
We’ll cook it right here in Nantucket!’
But first we should kill it
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 21, 2008, 08:55:04 AM
A lardbucket said, "f**k it, let's cook it!"
We’ll cook it right here in Nantucket!’
But first we should kill it
Before it goes on the skillet
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on February 21, 2008, 01:16:47 PM
A lardbucket said "f--k it,lets cook it"
We'll cook it right here in Nantucket
But first we should kil it
Before it goes on the skillet
Then serve it up in a large bucket


The cat stared at me with yellow eyes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 21, 2008, 02:51:57 PM
The cat stared at me with yellow eyes
so I hastily zipped up my flies
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: JAS on February 21, 2008, 03:18:58 PM
The cat stared at me with yellow eyes
so I hastily zipped up my flies
'cause everyone knows
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: sune on February 21, 2008, 03:29:56 PM
COMMENT--------THANK YOU Sir Nigel for posting those guidelines..
and Thanks all of you playing here..Gyppo, Citabria, Big T, Don, Belle,
ellie, Don, Lin...all....It's fun to watch your play!!

Actually I stand in awe of this humorous play!!!   ;) ;D
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 21, 2008, 03:37:36 PM
The cat stared at me with yellow eyes
so I hastily zipped up my flies
'cause everyone knows
that cats are so-and-sos
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on February 21, 2008, 04:08:42 PM
The cat stared at me with yellow eyes
so i hasitly zipped up my flies
'cause everyone knows that cats are so-and-sos
so I left in a hurry waving my bye-byes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on February 21, 2008, 04:12:50 PM
Sorry I skipped a line!!!!

The cat stared at me with yellow eyes
so I hastily zipped up my flies
'cause everyone know that cats are so-and-sos
and always keep that sneaky pose
so I left in a hurry waving my bye-byes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 21, 2008, 06:20:37 PM
A builder, from Brighton, named Bob
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on February 21, 2008, 06:26:44 PM
A builder, from Brighton, named Bob
was handsome and tall, but a slob
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on February 21, 2008, 08:55:13 PM
A builder, from Brighton, named Bob
was handsome and tall, but a slob
He went to a tailor
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 22, 2008, 03:59:46 AM
A builder, from Brighton, named Bob
was handsome and tall, but a slob
He went to a tailor
Who said ‘You’re a failure.’
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 22, 2008, 06:08:57 AM
A builder, from Brighton, named Bob
was handsome and tall, but a slob
He went to a tailor
Who said "You’re a failure:
just look at the shape of your knob!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on February 22, 2008, 06:59:43 AM
A red-headed seller on EBay
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 22, 2008, 08:15:00 AM
A red-headed seller on EBay
Sold his granny’s old gold plated tea tray
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on February 22, 2008, 01:49:11 PM
A red-headed seller on EBay
Sold his granny’s old gold plated tea tray.
When asked why he did it,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on February 22, 2008, 04:48:47 PM
A red-headed seller on EBay
Sold his granny's old gold plated tea tray
When asked why he did it
Replied " Cos Im a nitwit"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on February 22, 2008, 09:55:02 PM
A red-headed seller on EBay
Sold his granny's old gold plated tea tray
When asked why he did it
Replied " Cos Im a nitwit"
I wish I could pause and hit re-play.



A wily ol' goat from Nebraska
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on February 23, 2008, 05:57:34 AM
A wily ol' goat from Nebraska
had a girlfriend who lived in Alaska
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on February 23, 2008, 08:29:49 AM
A wily ol' goat from Nebraska
had a girlfriend who lived in Alaska
In her Eskimo skins
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 23, 2008, 10:02:40 AM
A wily ol' goat from Nebraska
had a girlfriend who lived in Alaska
In her Eskimo skins
she performed heinous sins
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on February 23, 2008, 11:25:34 AM
A wily ol' goat from Nebraska
had a girlfriend who lived in Alaska
In her Eskimo skins
she performed heinous sins
so if you fancy your chances, just ask 'er ;-)

That Gyppo was scanning his novel
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 23, 2008, 11:33:20 AM
That Gyppo was scanning his novel
in his tumble-down New Forest hovel (sorry)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on February 23, 2008, 07:48:09 PM
That Gyppo was scanning his novel
in his tumble-down New Forest hovel.
"I found a typo!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on February 23, 2008, 10:16:54 PM
That Gyppo was scanning his novel
in his tumble-down New Forest hovel.
"I found a typo!"
"You've misspelled G-y-p-p-o."
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on February 24, 2008, 04:47:30 AM
That Gyppo was scanning his novel
in his tumble-down New Forest hovel.
"I found a typo!"
"You've misspelled G-y-p-p-o."
And then made his editor grovel.


Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on February 24, 2008, 10:31:45 AM
Larry wore his jeans inside out
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on February 24, 2008, 11:27:43 AM
Larry wore his jeans inside out
to deter pickpockets no doubt
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on February 24, 2008, 11:54:18 AM
Larry wore his jeans inside out
to deter pickpockets no doubt,
but the zipper was tricky
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 24, 2008, 12:59:40 PM
Larry wore his jeans inside out
to deter pickpockets no doubt,
but the zipper was tricky,
the gusset was sticky
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on February 24, 2008, 01:14:53 PM
Larry wore his jeans inside out
to deter pickpockets no doubt,
but the zipper was tricky,
the gusset was sticky
so he left his 'old man' hanging out.

Citabria was scanning his butt
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 24, 2008, 01:49:38 PM
Citabria was scanning his butt
and the brim of one low hanging nut
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on February 24, 2008, 02:35:08 PM
Citabria was scanning his butt
and the brim of one low hanging nut
but the glass it did crack
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 24, 2008, 03:02:33 PM
Citabria was scanning his butt
and the brim of one low hanging nut
but the glass it did crack
from the weight of his sack
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on February 24, 2008, 04:58:00 PM
Citabria was scanning his butt
and the brim of one low hanging nut
but the glass it did crack
from the weight of his sack
and he suffered the castrator's cut.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 25, 2008, 08:44:04 AM
Oh no Mr Perkins she said
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 25, 2008, 08:53:23 AM
"Oh no Mr Perkins," she said
"Put your finger in this one instead"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 25, 2008, 08:55:27 AM
"Oh no Mr Perkins," she said
"Put your finger in this one instead"
So with brow all a-furrowed
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on February 25, 2008, 08:57:10 AM
"Oh no Mr Perkins," she said
"Put your finger in this one instead"
So with brow all a-furrowed
he delved and he burrowed
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 25, 2008, 09:17:16 AM
"Oh no Mr Perkins," she said
"Put your finger in this one instead"
So with brow all a-furrowed
he delved and he burrowed
with an old miner’s lamp on his head.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on February 25, 2008, 04:06:12 PM
*you boys are so bad!!!   ;D*


The ballet was going just fine
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: CaddyJ on February 26, 2008, 12:32:48 AM
The ballet was going just fine
But the orchestra sampled red wine
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 26, 2008, 03:45:20 AM
The ballet was going just fine
But the orchestra sampled red wine
as the dancers looked on
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 26, 2008, 04:58:40 AM
The ballet was going just fine
But the orchestra sampled red wine
as the dancers looked on
The obese flautist, Ron
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on February 26, 2008, 05:21:36 AM
The ballet was going just fine
But the orchestra sampled red wine
as the dancers looked on
The obese flautist, Ron
played a solo sat on Cloud Nine.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 26, 2008, 05:27:13 AM
I wouldn’t have done it like that.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on February 26, 2008, 10:59:33 AM
"I wouldn’t have done it like that."
As the woman laid down on the mat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on February 26, 2008, 01:56:16 PM
"I wouldn't have done it like that."
As the woman laid down on the mat
You stretch out your legs
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on February 26, 2008, 06:18:52 PM
"I wouldn't have done it like that."
As the woman laid down on the mat
"You stretch out your legs,
and line up the raw eggs."
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 27, 2008, 03:25:21 AM
"I wouldn't have done it like that."
As the woman laid down on the mat
"You stretch out your legs,
and line up the raw eggs
and put on this deerstalker hat.”
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 27, 2008, 04:21:45 AM
An earth quake was shaking my bed
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 27, 2008, 04:28:21 AM
An earth quake was shaking my bed
‘Feels like a 5.1’ I said
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 27, 2008, 05:05:22 AM
An earth quake was shaking my bed
‘Feels like a 5.1’ I said
but then when the wall
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 27, 2008, 05:32:34 AM
An earth quake was shaking my bed
‘Feels like a 5.1’ I said
but then when the wall
Never shifted at all
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 27, 2008, 05:47:27 AM
An earth quake was shaking my bed
‘Feels like a 5.1’ I said
but then when the wall
Never shifted at all
I blamed snoring Susan instead.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 27, 2008, 07:16:35 AM
‘Could you give me a hand Mrs Bessant?’
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on February 27, 2008, 08:36:44 AM
Could you give me a hand Mrs Bessant?
Im having trouble stuffing this pheasant'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 27, 2008, 09:41:03 AM
Could you give me a hand Mrs Bessant?
I’m having trouble stuffing this pheasant'
So take a firm hold
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on February 27, 2008, 09:42:20 AM
Could you give me a hand Mrs Bessant?
I’m having trouble stuffing this pheasant'
So take a firm hold
Come on lass be bold!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 27, 2008, 09:47:49 AM
Could you give me a hand Mrs Bessant?
I’m having trouble stuffing this pheasant'
So take a firm hold
Come on lass be bold!
And grab this thing whilst it’s tumescent.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: chillies on February 27, 2008, 10:58:13 AM
We grappled and fought all day long

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 27, 2008, 12:20:22 PM
We grappled and fought all day long
I was wearing my new sheepskin thong
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 28, 2008, 05:02:09 AM
We grappled and fought all day long
I was wearing my new sheepskin thong
And smeared with lard
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 28, 2008, 05:13:55 AM
We grappled and fought all day long
I was wearing my new sheepskin thong
And smeared with lard
but in every regard
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 28, 2008, 05:38:46 AM
We grappled and fought all day long
I was wearing my new sheepskin thong
And smeared with lard
but in every regard
I enjoyed my brief time in Hong Kong   
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 28, 2008, 05:51:36 AM
"I'm a wombat whisperer you know"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 28, 2008, 06:01:30 AM
"I'm a wombat whisperer you know.
What? Where are you going? Please don’t go.”   
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 28, 2008, 06:04:36 AM
"I'm a wombat whisperer you know.
What? Where are you going? Please don’t go,”
Said Rolf the unwell
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 28, 2008, 06:09:37 AM
"I'm a wombat whisperer you know.
What? Where are you going? Please don’t go,”
Said Rolf the unwell
as he twitched in his cell
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 28, 2008, 06:15:28 AM
"I'm a wombat whisperer you know.
What? Where are you going? Please don’t go,”
Said Rolf the unwell
(as he twitched in his cell)
to a visiting wombat named Joe.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on February 28, 2008, 07:28:12 AM
Im watching a pile of ironing get bigger
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 28, 2008, 07:43:35 AM
I'm watching a pile of ironing get bigger
and the sight of it's killed off my vigour
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 28, 2008, 07:45:50 AM
I'm watching a pile of ironing get bigger
and the sight of it's killed off my vigour
I shall open the Gin
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 28, 2008, 08:21:01 AM
I'm watching a pile of ironing get bigger
and the sight of it's killed off my vigour
I shall open the Gin,
take my pipe from its tin,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 28, 2008, 08:29:22 AM
I'm watching a pile of ironing get bigger
and the sight of it's killed off my vigour
I shall open the Gin,
take my pipe from its tin,
Then strip off and show my nude figure.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on February 28, 2008, 01:10:53 PM
I stared out the window in awe.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 28, 2008, 01:29:22 PM
I stared out the window in awe
at a one handed man making slaw.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on February 28, 2008, 01:36:20 PM
I stared out the window in awe
at a one handed man making slaw
That damned Olde Kinge Cole
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 28, 2008, 01:39:40 PM
I stared out the window in awe
at a one handed man making slaw
That damned Olde Kinge Cole
had some weed in his bowl
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: CQWeave on February 28, 2008, 03:06:05 PM
I stared out the window in awe
at a one handed man making slaw
That damned Olde King Cole
had some weed in his bowl
Unwilling to share a great flaw
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on February 28, 2008, 03:57:27 PM
That damned Gyppo was making a net  (a net, not Annette)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on February 28, 2008, 04:07:00 PM
That damned Gyppo was making a net
and his thirst it was starting to whet
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: CQWeave on February 28, 2008, 04:37:34 PM
I'm sorry.  Is it possible for me to delete last message?

That damned Gyppo was making a net
and his thirst it was starting to whet
His net weaving shuttle
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on February 29, 2008, 05:52:18 AM
That damned Gyppo was making a net
and his thirst it was starting to whet
His net weaving shuttle
Caused lobsters to scuttle
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: CQWeave on February 29, 2008, 07:50:40 PM
That damned Gyppo was making a net
and his thirst it was starting to whet
His net weaving shuttle
caused lobsters to scuttle
He hasn't caught anything yet
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on March 02, 2008, 08:02:45 AM
I'm bored of being bored by a bore
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on March 02, 2008, 01:26:41 PM
I'm bored of being bored by a bore
so I'll nip out and murder a Moor
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 03, 2008, 04:18:19 AM
I'm bored of being bored by a bore
so I'll nip out and murder a Moor
then with blood on my hands
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 03, 2008, 05:01:53 AM
I'm bored of being bored by a bore
so I'll nip out and murder a Moor
then with blood on my hands
I'll flick rubber bands
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 03, 2008, 05:54:21 AM
I'm bored of being bored by a bore
so I'll nip out and murder a Moor
then with blood on my hands
I'll flick rubber bands
at his head as he lies on the floor.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 03, 2008, 06:03:49 AM
As grand old King Henry once said:
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 03, 2008, 06:41:50 AM
As grand old King Henry once said:
"You can't juggle mice when you're dead!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 03, 2008, 07:54:29 AM
As grand old King Henry once said:
"You can't juggle mice when you're dead!"
But the late Mr Geary
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 03, 2008, 08:33:25 AM
As grand old King Henry once said:
"You can't juggle mice when you're dead!"
But the late Mr Geary
disagreed with that theory
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 03, 2008, 08:35:32 AM
As grand old King Henry once said:
"You can't juggle mice when you're dead!"
But the late Mr Geary
disagreed with that theory
as he juggled three mice and his head.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 03, 2008, 08:42:05 AM
The Guild of the Limerick Scribes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 03, 2008, 08:45:29 AM
The Guild of the Limerick Scribes
which fornicates, steals and imbibes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 03, 2008, 11:01:19 AM
The Guild of the Limerick Scribes
which fornicates, steals and imbibes
were holding a ball
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: CQWeave on March 03, 2008, 11:30:24 AM
The Guild of the Limerick Scribes
which fornicates, steals and imbibes
were holding a ball
come one, and come all
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on March 03, 2008, 12:00:47 PM
The Guild of the Limerick Scribes
which fornicates, steals and imbibes
were holding a ball
come one, and come all
and ignoring the timid folk's jibes.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on March 03, 2008, 06:43:29 PM
He stole her purse in a flash
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on March 03, 2008, 06:46:47 PM
He stole her purse in a flash
dumped the cards, just kept the cash.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: CQWeave on March 03, 2008, 07:04:07 PM
He stole her purse in a flash
dumped the cards, just kept the cash
He dashed for the exit
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on March 03, 2008, 07:15:50 PM
He stole her purse in a flash
dumped the cards, just kept the cash
He dashed for the exit
but slipped on some dogshit
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: CQWeave on March 03, 2008, 08:02:15 PM
He stole her purse in a flash
dumped the cards, just kept the cash
He dashed for the exit
but slipped on some dogshit
Now wishes he hadn't been brash
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 04, 2008, 05:33:24 AM
I am writing a poem without smut
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on March 04, 2008, 08:35:08 AM
I am writing a poem without smut
Cos my wife is watching me, but....
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 04, 2008, 08:38:00 AM
I am writing a poem without smut
Cos my wife is watching me, but....
knowing my luck
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 04, 2008, 08:47:27 AM
I am writing a poem without smut
Cos my wife is watching me, but....
knowing my luck
My poem will suck
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on March 04, 2008, 08:51:01 AM
I am writing a poem without smut
Cos my wife is watching me, but....
knowing my luck
My poem will suck
and my laptop I sadly will shut.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 04, 2008, 09:27:09 AM
Oh what shall I do with this cheese?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 04, 2008, 10:21:20 AM
Oh what shall I do with this cheese?
I could spread it on Lin because she's
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 04, 2008, 10:28:02 AM
Oh what shall I do with this cheese?
I could spread it on Lin because she's
kinky for Gruyere
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 04, 2008, 10:57:25 AM
Oh what shall I do with this cheese?
I could spread it on Lin because she's
kinky for Gruyere.
Or I could, if I dare,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 05, 2008, 04:00:59 AM
Oh what shall I do with this cheese?
I could spread it on Lin because she's
kinky for Gruyere.
Or I could, if I dare,
plot some dissolute cheddary wheeze
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 05, 2008, 06:04:35 AM
My neighbour, the one with the limp,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 05, 2008, 06:24:29 AM
My neighbour, the one with the limp,
Wore a large fancy hat like a pimp
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 05, 2008, 06:30:32 AM
My neighbour, the one with the limp,
Wore a large fancy hat like a pimp.
But because he's the vicar
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 05, 2008, 06:38:29 AM
My neighbour, the one with the limp,
wore a large fancy hat like a pimp.
But because he's the vicar,
for a mere fifteen nicker
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 05, 2008, 06:49:13 AM
My neighbour, the one with the limp,
wore a large fancy hat like a pimp.
But because he's the vicar,
for a mere fifteen nicker
he'll baptise your child (or your chimp).
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 05, 2008, 08:38:51 AM
‘My God’ she exclaimed ‘it’s a whopper.’
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 05, 2008, 08:46:20 AM
"My God" she exclaimed "it’s a whopper."
"And that cork in the end: it's a stopper?"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 05, 2008, 09:13:26 AM
"My God" she exclaimed "it’s a whopper."
"And that cork in the end: it's a stopper?"
I nodded with pride.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 05, 2008, 09:14:15 AM
"My God" she exclaimed "it’s a whopper."
"And that cork in the end: it's a stopper?"
I nodded with pride
as I showed her how wide
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 05, 2008, 09:16:52 AM
"My God" she exclaimed "it’s a whopper."
"And that cork in the end: it's a stopper?"
I nodded with pride
as I showed her how wide
it would stretch before coming a cropper
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on March 05, 2008, 10:01:02 AM
Lin' fed up with eating Dutch Cheese
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 05, 2008, 04:39:34 PM
Lin' fed up with eating Dutch Cheese
said, "Come on and give me a squeeze!"  ;D   By the way, try the Poetry Challenge here: http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=13013.0 (http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=13013.0)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 06, 2008, 04:27:55 AM
Lin, fed up with eating Dutch Cheese
said, "Come on and give me a squeeze
But the sailor was choosy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 06, 2008, 05:54:33 AM
Lin, fed up with eating Dutch Cheese
said, "Come on and give me a squeeze
But the sailor was choosy,
(thought Lin was a floozy)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 06, 2008, 06:07:16 AM
Lin, fed up with eating Dutch Cheese
said, "Come on and give me a squeeze
But the sailor was choosy,
(thought Lin was a floozy)

I couldn’t decide between:

- …too cheesy, too thin and a tease)

- so she got down and begged on her knees

- and her dreams drifted off on the breeze
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 06, 2008, 06:23:30 AM
Ah I see the problem. #1 is funnier but #2 scans better. #1 it is then  ;D

I was dreaming of taking a trip

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 06, 2008, 06:42:49 AM
I was dreaming of taking a trip
But I couldn’t go, what with this hip.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 06, 2008, 07:01:17 AM
I was dreaming of taking a trip
But I couldn’t go, what with this hip.
So just for a laugh
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 06, 2008, 07:18:36 AM
I was dreaming of taking a trip
But I couldn’t go, what with this hip.
So just for a laugh
I hired a giraffe
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 06, 2008, 08:05:14 AM
I was dreaming of taking a trip
But I couldn’t go, what with this hip.
So just for a laugh
I hired a giraffe
and a dominatrix with a whip.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 06, 2008, 08:08:54 AM
I has bleaching my codpiece last night
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 06, 2008, 08:12:46 AM
I was bleaching my codpiece last night
And thinking this cannot be right
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 06, 2008, 08:15:34 AM
I was bleaching my codpiece last night
And thinking this cannot be right
For the label said ‘SMALL’
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 06, 2008, 08:18:51 AM
I was bleaching my codpiece last night
And thinking this cannot be right
For the label said ‘SMALL’
Which is not right at all
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 06, 2008, 08:25:50 AM
I was bleaching my codpiece last night
And thinking this cannot be right
For the label said ‘SMALL’
Which is not right at all
But maybe that's why it's so tight  :o
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 06, 2008, 08:29:37 AM
They told me to stand here and wait.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 06, 2008, 08:34:04 AM
They told me to stand here and wait
while they went out to find me a mate.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 06, 2008, 08:45:35 AM
They told me to stand here and wait
while they went out to find me a mate.
So I twiddled my thumbs
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on March 06, 2008, 09:25:00 AM
They told me to stand here and wait
while they went out to find me a mate.
So I twiddled my thumbs,
ate some over-ripe plums
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 06, 2008, 09:33:55 AM
They told me to stand here and wait
while they went out to find me a mate.
So I twiddled my thumbs,
ate some over-ripe plums
and prayed that my wind would abate.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on March 06, 2008, 09:43:19 AM
Whilst Lucy was sucking her thumb
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 06, 2008, 09:44:41 AM
Whilst Lucy was sucking her thumb
And sliding around on her bum
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 06, 2008, 10:30:15 AM
Whilst Lucy was sucking her thumb
And sliding around on her bum
her grandchildren sneered
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 06, 2008, 10:36:05 AM
Whilst Lucy was sucking her thumb
And sliding around on her bum
Her grandchildren sneered
For nothing's so wierd
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 06, 2008, 10:56:14 AM
Whilst Lucy was sucking her thumb
And sliding around on her bum
Her grandchildren sneered
For nothing's so weird
as a hideous slob'ring grandmum.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on March 06, 2008, 04:57:55 PM
My greatgrandma she danced the Can Can
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 06, 2008, 06:04:35 PM
My greatgrandma she danced the Can Can
My great-grandpa was her biggest fan
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on March 06, 2008, 06:27:59 PM
My greatgrandma she danced the Can Can
My great-grandpa was her biggest fan
As a true 'Stage-Door-Johny'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on March 07, 2008, 12:29:01 AM
My greatgrandma she danced the Can Can
My great-grandpa was her biggest fan
As a true 'Stage-Door-Johny',
all slicked back and brawny,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 07, 2008, 04:17:00 AM
My greatgrandma she danced the Can Can
My great-grandpa was her biggest fan
As a true 'Stage-Door-Johnny',
all slicked back and brawny,
Old Stan was a Great Gran Can Can man
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 07, 2008, 05:15:55 AM
For fun Jenny made airplane kits
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 07, 2008, 05:26:26 AM
For fun Jenny made airplane kits
she just loved assembling the bits
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 07, 2008, 05:31:44 AM
For fun Jenny made airplane kits
she just loved assembling the bits
When she made an old Fokker
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 07, 2008, 05:37:52 AM
For fun Jenny made airplane kits
she just loved assembling the bits
When she made an old Fokker
The glue didn't stop her
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 07, 2008, 05:47:31 AM
For fun Jenny made airplane kits
she just loved assembling the bits
When she made an old Fokker
the glue didn't stop her
from polishing the wings with her ... hanky
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 07, 2008, 05:57:33 AM
My Mum said I'd not make a poet
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 07, 2008, 06:34:55 AM
My Mum said I'd not make a poet
She said ‘Son take a tuba and blow it’
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 07, 2008, 06:58:22 AM
My Mum said I'd not make a poet
She said ‘Son take a tuba and blow it’
but those iambs did call
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 07, 2008, 07:07:44 AM
My Mum said I'd not make a poet
She said ‘Son take a tuba and blow it’
but those iambs did call
And rhymes did not stall
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 07, 2008, 08:04:22 AM
My Mum said I'd not make a poet
She said ‘Son take a tuba and blow it’
but those iambs did call
And rhymes did not stall
but in the end she was right and I’m rubbish
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 07, 2008, 08:21:19 AM
A man with an elephant hair coat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 07, 2008, 08:24:02 AM
A man with an elephant hair coat
A donkey, three sheep and a goat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 07, 2008, 08:26:44 AM
A man with an elephant hair coat
A donkey, three sheep and a goat
awoke in a zoo
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 07, 2008, 08:31:34 AM
A man with an elephant hair coat
A donkey, three sheep and a goat
awoke in a zoo
Around half past two
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 07, 2008, 08:44:39 AM
A man with an elephant hair coat
A donkey, three sheep and a goat
awoke in a zoo
Around half past two
and asked his snake, "Where is my stoat?"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 07, 2008, 08:51:23 AM
It's blue! Thought the maid, I'm undone
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 07, 2008, 09:40:33 AM
It's blue! Thought the maid, I'm undone.
In my oven's a partly cooked bun  :o
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on March 07, 2008, 10:11:53 AM
It's blue! Thought the maid, I'm undone.
In my oven's a partly cooked bun.
As for the bairn's dad,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 07, 2008, 10:13:34 AM

 
It's blue! Thought the maid, I'm undone.
In my oven's a partly cooked bun. :o
As for the bairn's dad,
He was hopping mad
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 07, 2008, 10:23:39 AM
It's blue! Thought the maid, I'm undone.
In my oven's a partly cooked bun.  :o
As for the bairn's dad,
He was hopping mad --
he's insane and his leg count is one.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 07, 2008, 10:25:50 AM
A pickle eating barmaid from Cleveland
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 07, 2008, 10:32:17 AM
A pickle eating barmaid from Cleveland
had a vinegar stain on her sleeve and
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 07, 2008, 10:49:05 AM
A pickle eating barmaid from Cleveland
had a vinegar stain on her sleeve and
a cut on her thumb
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 07, 2008, 10:52:49 AM
A pickle eating barmaid from Cleveland
had a vinegar stain on her sleeve and
a cut on her thumb
"no wonder she's glum,"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 07, 2008, 02:01:45 PM
A pickle eating barmaid from Cleveland
had a vinegar stain on her sleeve and
a cut on her thumb
"no wonder she's glum,"
said Jim, a regular ranch hand
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on March 08, 2008, 04:03:48 AM
"Well, hello, boys," the saloon girl winked.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 08, 2008, 04:16:09 AM
"Well, hello, boys," the saloon girl winked.
Rolf stared at her puppies and blinked.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 08, 2008, 11:44:36 AM
"Well, hello, boys," the saloon girl winked.
Rolf stared at her puppies and blinked.
The best he had seen
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: CQWeave on March 08, 2008, 11:51:16 AM
"Well, hello, boys," the saloon girl winked.
Rolf stared at her puppies and blinked.
The best he had seen
Don't want to be mean
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 08, 2008, 02:00:53 PM
"Well, hello, boys," the saloon girl winked.
Rolf stared at her puppies and blinked.
The best he had seen
Don't want to be mean
Then his lasso completely unkinked
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 08, 2008, 02:13:40 PM
Wilberforce Gruntfuckle's mum
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: chillies on March 08, 2008, 02:20:07 PM
Wilberforce Gruntfuckle's mum
had a rather gaseous bum
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 08, 2008, 02:21:03 PM
Wilberforce Gruntfuckle's mum
had a rather gaseous bum
On cabbage she dined
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 08, 2008, 02:26:11 PM
Wilberforce Gruntfuckle's mum
had a rather gaseous bum
On cabbage she dined
Derrière redefined
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: chillies on March 08, 2008, 02:30:37 PM
Wilberforce Gruntfuckle's mum
had a rather gaseous bum
On cabbage she dined
Derrière redefined
But what a way to blow up gum
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 08, 2008, 02:37:24 PM
Heloise the hemp farming hermit

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 08, 2008, 02:46:25 PM
Heloise the hemp farming hermit
Saw talking frogs just like Kermit
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on March 08, 2008, 03:45:51 PM
Heloise the hemp farming hermit
Saw talking frogs just like Kermit
So he sawed off their legs
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 08, 2008, 03:57:33 PM
Heloise the hemp farming hermit
Saw talking frogs just like Kermit
So he sawed off their legs
And served them with eggs
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ma100 on March 08, 2008, 03:59:05 PM

Heloise the hemp farming hermit
Saw talking frogs just like Kermit
So he sawed off their legs
And served them with eggs
I wonder if he has a permit
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 08, 2008, 04:01:39 PM
Bold Sir Jasper went riding
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: cleopatra on March 08, 2008, 04:03:56 PM
Bold Sir Jasper went riding
He didnt fancy hang-gliding
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 08, 2008, 04:20:17 PM
Bold Sir Jasper went riding
He didnt fancy hang-gliding
So he mounted his filly
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on March 08, 2008, 04:24:09 PM
Bold Sir Jasper went riding
He didnt fancy hang-gliding
So he mounted his filly
a sweet wench called Dilly
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on March 09, 2008, 11:41:24 AM
Bold Sir Jasper went riding
He didnt fancy hang-gliding
So he mounted his filly
a sweet wench called Dilly
Who seemed to be very obliging
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 09, 2008, 07:26:22 PM
When the thespians took their last bow
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on March 09, 2008, 07:35:17 PM
When the thespians took their last bow,
the one dressed up like a cow
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 09, 2008, 07:51:21 PM
When the thespians took their last bow,
the one dressed up like a cow
Then she uttered a, "Moo!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 10, 2008, 04:05:28 AM
When the thespians took their last bow,
the one dressed up like a cow
Then she uttered a, "Moo!"
And curtseyed too
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 10, 2008, 04:57:41 AM
When the thespians took their last bow,
the one dressed up like a cow
Then uttered a, "Moo!"
And curtseyed too
She’s mooing in Hollywood now
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: chillies on March 10, 2008, 05:04:05 AM
A brave knight - Sir Nigel of Bowlegs
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 10, 2008, 05:11:21 AM
A brave knight - Sir Nigel of Bowlegs
was juggling with platypus eggs
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 10, 2008, 05:14:03 AM
A brave knight - Sir Nigel of Bowlegs
was juggling with platypus eggs
But a passing rhinoceros
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: chillies on March 10, 2008, 05:24:25 AM
A brave knight - Sir Nigel of Bowlegs
was juggling with platypus eggs
But a passing rhinoceros
said "That's simply preposterous"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on March 10, 2008, 05:33:24 AM
A brave knight - Sir Nigel of Bowlegs
was juggling with platypus eggs
But a passing rhinoceros
said "That's simply preposterous"
As he sucked the pus down to the dregs
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 10, 2008, 05:37:31 AM
When he'd finished the dregs of the pus
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 10, 2008, 05:39:56 AM
When he'd finished the dregs of the pus
Sir Nigel went to town on the bus
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 10, 2008, 06:03:06 AM
When he'd finished the dregs of the pus
Sir Nigel went to town on the bus
where he purchased a whip
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 10, 2008, 06:11:24 AM
When he'd finished the dregs of the pus
Sir Nigel went to town on the bus
where he purchased a whip
and some cheese and chive dip
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: chillies on March 10, 2008, 06:24:58 AM
When he'd finished the dregs of the pus
Sir Nigel went to town on the bus
where he purchased a whip
and some cheese and chive dip
and proceeded to blaspheme and cuss
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 10, 2008, 06:31:20 AM
For breakfast Dougal likes salt on his porridge
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 10, 2008, 07:06:21 AM
Toxi,
Two things:
1)   This has too may words
2)   Nothing rhymes with porridge

Apart from that I’d be intrigued to know how things turned out with Dougal
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 10, 2008, 07:11:50 AM
For breakfast McDougal likes salt
on his porridge which he flavours with malt
whiskey and turps
which gives him the burps.
It is surely the Scotch that's at fault.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 10, 2008, 07:24:28 AM
A big thank you to my close colleague Mr Citabria for that timely demonstration of witty and innovative limerick writing and the salvaging of a potentially awkward situation. 

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 10, 2008, 07:28:51 AM
Too many words definitely, but there are rhymes for porridge: acknowldedge and knowledge for a start  :(
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 10, 2008, 07:30:34 AM
Well yeah. But apart from those.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 10, 2008, 07:33:31 AM
Well yeah. But apart from those.
Tricky Rhymes keep you on your toes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on March 10, 2008, 07:41:51 AM
...and Norwich, as in that crap rhyme we learned at school.

The man in the moon came down too soon
and asked his way to Norwich.
he went to the South
and burned his mouth
eating cold Pease Porridge.

(And in my opinion it served him right for eating the filthy stuff.  My Mother fed it to us once and the entire family ate onse spoonful each before going on strike.  Dad cut us some thick wedges of 'bread and lard' - with salt - to take the taste away.)

Now seriously...

Well yeah. But apart from those.
Tricky Rhymes keep you on your toes
you can mount your pentameter
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 10, 2008, 07:54:47 AM
Well yeah. But apart from those.
Tricky Rhymes keep you on your toes
you can mount your pentameter
But mind your parameter
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 10, 2008, 07:58:02 AM
Well yeah. But apart from those.
Tricky Rhymes keep you on your toes
you can mount your pentameter
But mind your parameter
And never return to prose
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 10, 2008, 08:07:53 AM
I was applying some lard to my thighs
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: chillies on March 10, 2008, 08:21:19 AM
I was applying some lard to my thighs
Because I'd ran out of pork pies
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 10, 2008, 08:27:45 AM
I was applying some lard to my thighs
Because I'd ran out of pork pies
Black pudding would be better
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on March 10, 2008, 08:45:04 AM
I was applying some lard to my thighs
Because I'd ran out of pork pies
Black pudding would be better
but a real go-getter...
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 10, 2008, 09:08:53 AM
I was applying some lard to my thighs
Because I'd ran out of rancid pork pies
Black pudding would be better
but a real go-getter...
would use gloop, that he'd squeezed, from pigs eyes.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 10, 2008, 09:29:29 AM
Then, smeared and annointed with goo
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 10, 2008, 09:52:44 AM
Then, smeared and annointed with goo
He foolishly went to the zoo
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 10, 2008, 09:55:33 AM
Then, smeared and annointed with goo
He foolishly went to the zoo
Where a keeper named Frank
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 10, 2008, 10:17:53 AM
Then, smeared and annointed with goo
He foolishly went to the zoo
Where a keeper named Frank
filled the Sea lion tank
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 10, 2008, 10:32:18 AM
Then, smeared and annointed with goo
He foolishly went to the zoo
Where a keeper named Frank
filled the Sea lion tank
and into it, our hero threw.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 10, 2008, 10:45:57 AM
So Brian, the sea lion, was upset
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 10, 2008, 10:54:17 AM
So Brian, the sea lion, was upset.
As he puffed on his damp cigarette
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 10, 2008, 10:56:50 AM
So Brian, the sea lion, was upset.
As he puffed on his damp cigarette
'Cause a goo smeared man
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 10, 2008, 11:02:33 AM
So Brian, the sea lion, was upset.
As he puffed on his damp cigarette
'Cause a goo smeared man
with a bright orange tan
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 10, 2008, 11:09:36 AM
So Brian, the sea lion, was upset.
As he puffed on his damp cigarette
'Cause a goo smeared man
with a bright orange tan
left a thick film of grease which had set.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 10, 2008, 11:12:35 AM
Now the keeper, named Frank, got a broom
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 10, 2008, 11:24:35 AM
Now the keeper, named Frank, got a broom
And said ‘Ooh Goo boy - lets get a room’
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on March 10, 2008, 11:33:36 AM
Now the keeper, named Frank, got a broom
And said ‘Ooh Goo boy - lets get a room’
Green Brian said "Whatever"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 10, 2008, 11:45:35 AM
Now the keeper, named Frank, got a broom
And said ‘Ooh Goo boy - lets get a room’
Green Brian said "Whatever"
'cause he's not very clever
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on March 10, 2008, 11:48:07 AM
Then, smeared and annointed with goo
The seat in the bathroom - the loo
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 10, 2008, 12:34:40 PM
Now the keeper, named Frank, got a broom
And said ‘Ooh Goo boy - lets get a room’
Green Brian said "Whatever"
'cause he's not very clever
but they stayed there and boinked until noon!

Then, smeared and anointed with goo
The seat in the bathroom - the loo
cellophane on the seat
twas not very neat
when the (doodoo) stuck to him like glue
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 11, 2008, 05:52:43 AM
A bent and peculiar crone
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 11, 2008, 07:14:32 AM
A bent and peculiar crone
owned a dildo the shape of a phone
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 11, 2008, 07:23:58 AM
A bent and peculiar crone
owned a dildo the shape of a phone
She’d shout in one end 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 11, 2008, 07:49:39 AM
A bent and peculiar crone
owned a dildo the shape of a phone
She’d shout in one end 
of her large rubber friend
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 11, 2008, 08:01:31 AM
A bent and peculiar crone
owned a dildo the shape of a phone
She’d shout in one end
of her large rubber friend:
‘'Ello this is Phone Dildo Joan.‘
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 11, 2008, 08:20:42 AM
A girl with a dog she called Rex
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 11, 2008, 09:19:44 AM
A girl with a dog she called Rex
Met a drink sozzled cowboy called Tex.

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on March 11, 2008, 09:23:18 AM



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A girl with a dog she called Rex
Met a drink sozzled cowboy called Tex. 
Now Rex took a fancy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 11, 2008, 09:34:32 AM
A girl with a dog she called Rex
Met a drink sozzled cowboy called Tex.
Now Rex took a fancy
to Tex's wife Nancy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 11, 2008, 09:58:28 AM
A girl with a dog she called Rex
Met a drink sozzled cowboy called Tex.
Now Rex took a fancy
to Tex's wife Nancy
Lets face it they all need new specs
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on March 11, 2008, 02:47:00 PM
Whilst reading a book about chaos
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 11, 2008, 04:26:22 PM
Whilst reading a book about chaos
Contemplating his recent layoffs
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 11, 2008, 04:30:40 PM
Whilst reading a book about chaos
Contemplating his recent layoffs
Sir Malcolm Von Smits
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 11, 2008, 04:54:55 PM
Whilst reading a book about chaos
Contemplating his recent layoffs
Sir Malcolm Von Smits
Had a case of Schlitz 

  or

Whilst reading a book about chaos
Contemplating his recent layoffs
Sir Malcolm Von Smits
With a bad case of (mud butt)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on March 11, 2008, 06:12:56 PM
Whilst reading a book about chaos
Contemplating his recent layoffs
Sir Malcolm Von Smits
Had a bad case of Schlitz
So he decided to take up Lacrosse


I once saw a disembodied hand
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 12, 2008, 05:07:51 AM
I once saw a disembodied hand
It was playing guitar in a band
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ma100 on March 12, 2008, 05:12:43 AM

I once saw a disembodied hand
It was playing guitar in a band
The fingers never faltered
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: chillies on March 12, 2008, 05:27:34 AM
I once saw a disembodied hand
It was playing guitar in a band
The fingers never faltered
Until the music halted
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on March 12, 2008, 05:55:15 AM
I once saw a disembodied hand
It was playing guitar in a band
The fingers never faltered
Until the music halted
Then it strangled the singer Ferdinand
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 12, 2008, 05:58:09 AM
‘Glub glub!’ he exclaimed as he floundered.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 12, 2008, 06:29:32 AM
‘Glub glub!’ he exclaimed as he floundered.
I stood on the bank quite astounded
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 12, 2008, 08:31:44 AM
‘Glub glub!’ he exclaimed as he floundered.
I stood on the bank quite astounded
"Die fat boy die!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 12, 2008, 08:37:39 AM
‘Glub glub!’ he exclaimed as he floundered.
I stood on the bank quite astounded
"Die fat boy die!
You'll regret that last pie."
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 12, 2008, 08:48:57 AM
Glub glub!’ he exclaimed as he floundered.
I stood on the bank quite astounded
"Die fat boy die!
You'll regret that last pie.”
'What? The rhubarb?' he replied, quite confounded.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on March 12, 2008, 12:55:47 PM
Roobarb and Custard,green dog and pink cat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on March 12, 2008, 01:47:56 PM
Roobarb and Custard, green dog and pink cat,
Went looking for Noah on Mount Ararat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 12, 2008, 03:08:59 PM
Roobarb and Custard, green dog and pink cat,
Went looking for Noah on Mount Ararat
The unlikely crew
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Magnolia Belle on March 12, 2008, 06:16:06 PM
Roobarb and Custard, green dog and pink cat,
Went looking for Noah on Mount Ararat
The unlikely crew
sat down for a brew
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on March 12, 2008, 06:26:26 PM
Roobarb and Custard, green dog and pink cat,
Went looking for Noah on Mount Ararat
The unlikely crew
sat down for a brew
and ended up pissed, fancy that.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 12, 2008, 08:08:37 PM
Old Miss Molly and Simon McGee
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: CQWeave on March 12, 2008, 08:22:13 PM
Old Miss Molly and Simon McGee
Toasted marshmellows under a tree
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 13, 2008, 01:30:16 AM
Old Miss Molly and Simon McGee
Toasted marshmallows under a tree
The tree was ablaze
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on March 13, 2008, 06:15:12 AM
Old Miss Molly and Simon McGee
Toasted marshmallows under a tree
The tree was ablaze
and the pair in a daze
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 13, 2008, 06:36:05 AM
Old Miss Molly and Simon McGee
Toasted marshmallows under a tree
The tree was ablaze
and the pair in a daze
made a flaming good pair, you'll agree.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 13, 2008, 08:50:55 AM
'What a flaming good pair' said he.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on March 13, 2008, 09:13:37 AM
'What a flaming good pair' said he.
As he massaged her legs and knee
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 13, 2008, 09:14:35 AM
'What a flaming good pair' said he.
As he massaged her legs and her knee
with the end of his pole
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 13, 2008, 09:27:41 AM
'What a flaming good pair' said he.
As he massaged her legs and her knee
with the end of his pole
he soon found his goal
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 13, 2008, 09:43:54 AM
'What a flaming good pair' said he.
As he massaged her legs and her knee
with the end of his pole
he soon found his goal
and he cleared it of surplus debris.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 13, 2008, 02:37:05 PM
The Limericks Thread was X-rated
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 13, 2008, 03:14:01 PM
The Limericks Thread was X-rated
and should only be read when sedated
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 13, 2008, 03:49:53 PM
The Limericks Thread was X-rated
and should only be read when sedated
but if you're too zonked
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 13, 2008, 03:52:47 PM
The Limericks Thread was X-rated
and should only be read when sedated
but if you're too zonked
you will never get bonked
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 13, 2008, 10:23:39 PM
The Limericks Thread was X-rated
and should only be read when sedated
but if you're too zonked
you will never get bonked
and therefore will never be mated
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on March 14, 2008, 04:38:17 AM
Twas the night before Lin's birthday
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 14, 2008, 04:58:35 AM
Twas the night before Lin's birthday,
when all the jolly monkeys of the Earth say:
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 14, 2008, 08:18:03 AM
Twas the night before Lin's birthday,
when all the jolly monkeys of the Earth say:
"let's send her some nuts
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 14, 2008, 10:02:22 AM
Twas the night before Lin's birthday,
when all the jolly monkeys of the Earth say:
"let's send her some nuts
and show her our butts"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 15, 2008, 04:35:38 AM
Twas the night before Lin's birthday,
when all the jolly monkeys of the Earth say:
"let's send her some nuts
and show her our butts
and welcome in sixty the mirth way."

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on March 15, 2008, 07:20:00 PM
Guy the Gorilla is legend
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 16, 2008, 01:13:34 AM
Guy the Gorilla is legend
'cause of his lunatic girlfriend
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on March 16, 2008, 11:44:17 AM
Guy the Gorilla is legend
'cause of his lunatic girlfriend
But its been a long time
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 16, 2008, 03:33:36 PM
Guy the Gorilla is legend
'cause of his lunatic girlfriend
But its been a long time
Since he heard a good rhyme
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on March 17, 2008, 02:16:51 PM
Guy the Gorilla is legend
'cause of his lunatic girlfriend
But its been a long time
Since he heard a good rhyme
Cos hes stuffed and really quite deadened!


( I remember seeing Guy (1946 -1978),a lowland gorilla,at London Zoo when I was young..an amazing animal,with such an intelligent look. After his death his skin was 'stuffed' and he went on show at The Natural History museum,London..but is now at a Sheffield display)

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 18, 2008, 06:25:23 AM
A lady whilst wearing a snood
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on March 18, 2008, 07:05:16 AM
A lady whilst wearing a snood
heard a whistle which sounded quite rude
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 18, 2008, 11:27:45 AM
A lady whilst wearing a snood
heard a whistle which sounded quite rude
She turned up her nose
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 18, 2008, 11:53:32 AM
A lady whilst wearing a snood
heard a whistle which sounded quite rude
She turned up her nose
which, by the way glows
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on March 18, 2008, 03:27:31 PM
A lady whilst wearing a snood
heard a whistle which sounded quite rude
She turned up her nose
which, by the way glows
Like Rudolph the Reindeer dude
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on March 20, 2008, 11:53:44 AM
Long and black is my favourite skirt
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on March 20, 2008, 01:20:23 PM
Long and black is my favourite skirt
But the boots I am wearing - they hurt
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 20, 2008, 02:17:22 PM
Long and black is my favourite skirt
But the boots I am wearing - they hurt
They pinch at the toes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on March 20, 2008, 05:47:34 PM
Long and black is my favourite skirt
But the boots I am wearing - they hurt
They pinch at the toes
And God only knows
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 20, 2008, 05:55:55 PM
Long and black is my favourite skirt
But the boots I am wearing - they hurt
They pinch at the toes
And God only knows
when I wear them what I long to blurt
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on March 21, 2008, 05:05:32 AM
Its Easter and the weather is crappy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on March 21, 2008, 05:13:02 AM
Its Easter and the weather is crappy
so knock back the Rum and be happy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 21, 2008, 05:22:04 AM
Its Easter and the weather is crappy
so knock back the Rum and be happy
Or we could stay in bed,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on March 21, 2008, 08:08:45 AM
Its Easter and the weather is crappy
so knock back the Rum and be happy
Or we could stay in bed,
With the sheets o'er our head
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 25, 2008, 12:48:02 PM
Its Easter and the weather is crappy
so knock back the Rum and be happy
Or we could stay in bed,
With the sheets o'er our head
and do something foul with a nappy.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on March 25, 2008, 02:39:32 PM
If ever I went back in time
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 25, 2008, 03:23:48 PM
If ever I went back in time
I'd cover up that heinous crime
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on March 25, 2008, 05:20:15 PM
If ever I went back in time
I'd cover up that heinous crime
when I shaved bald three Monkeys
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: al1801 on March 25, 2008, 06:13:15 PM
If ever I went back in time
I'd cover up that heinous crime
when I shaved bald three Monkeys
and dressed them as flunkeys
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on March 25, 2008, 06:53:06 PM
If ever I went back in time
I'd cover up that heinous crime
when I shaved bald three monkeys
and dressed them as flunkeys
serving vodkas with ice and lime


I dreamt of a cat that walked upright
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: al1801 on March 25, 2008, 07:14:44 PM
I dreamt of a cat that walked upright
Walked straight whether sober or tight
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on March 25, 2008, 08:15:52 PM
I dreamt of a cat that walked upright
Walked straight whether sober or tight
It knocked back straight vodka
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: chillies on March 26, 2008, 05:39:36 AM
I dreamt of a cat that walked upright
Walked straight whether sober or tight
It knocked back straight vodka
And looked for erotica
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on March 26, 2008, 06:38:41 AM
I dreamt of a cat that walked upright
Walked straight whether sober or tight
It knocked back straight vodka
And looked for erotica
and came home 'shagged out' at daylight.

It then fell asleep on the step
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on March 26, 2008, 07:09:43 AM
It then fell asleep on the step
When a lion passed by - oh Yep!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on March 26, 2008, 07:20:24 AM
It then fell asleep on the step
When a lion passed by - oh Yep!
It purred "Hi, Small Cousin
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 26, 2008, 07:22:39 AM
It then fell asleep on the step
When a lion passed by - oh Yep!
It purred "Hi, Small Cousin:
what the hell is that buzzin?"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on March 26, 2008, 06:25:44 PM
It then fell asleep on the step
When a lion passed by-oh yep!
It purred"Hi,small cousin"
"what the hell is that buzzin?"
"My vibrator"said cat,"it gives me pep"!


My camel had one leg missing

(its the pills thats doing it ;D)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 27, 2008, 01:51:57 AM
My camel had one leg missing
That didn't stop him from kissing
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 27, 2008, 09:14:00 AM
My camel had one leg missing
That didn't stop him from kissing
My dear aunty Maud
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on March 27, 2008, 10:02:10 AM
My camel had one leg missing
That didn't stop him from kissing
My dear aunty Maud
Who enjoyed this accord
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 29, 2008, 03:36:32 PM
My camel had one leg missing
That didn't stop him from kissing
My dear aunty Maud
Who enjoyed this accord
Made him pause from all his hissing


What happened to the limerick addicts?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 29, 2008, 06:08:39 PM
What happened to the limerick addicts?
It turned out that the name contradicts
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on March 29, 2008, 06:54:49 PM
What happened to the limerick addicts
It turned out that the name contradicts
My brains often lazy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on March 29, 2008, 07:44:02 PM
What happened to the limerick addicts
It turned out that the name contradicts
My brains often lazy
my thoughts sometimes hazy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: al1801 on March 29, 2008, 08:45:09 PM
What happened to the limerick addicts
It turned out that the name contradicts
My brains often lazy
my thoughts sometimes hazy
and the bloody rhymes don't often fit.

A Redhead from Salt lake in Utah
 
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on March 29, 2008, 10:09:59 PM
A Redhead from Salt lake in Utah
had a sister at least three times cuter
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: al1801 on March 30, 2008, 12:18:56 AM
A Redhead from Salt Lake in Utah
had a sister at least three times cuter
She was slender, but blonde
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on March 30, 2008, 04:34:00 AM
A Redhead from Salt Lake in Utah
had a sister at least three times cuter
She was slender, but blonde
and dressed a la monde
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 30, 2008, 07:34:08 AM
A Redhead from Salt Lake in Utah
had a sister at least three times cuter
She was slender, but blonde
and dressed a la monde
and rode around nude on her scooter.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on March 30, 2008, 09:47:36 AM
(Love the last one ;D)


She thought she was Lady Godiva
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 30, 2008, 09:52:22 AM
She thought she was Lady Godiva
but in truth she was just a bus driver
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on March 30, 2008, 03:32:47 PM
She thought she was Lady Godiva
but in truth she was just a bus driver.
As she spun that big wheel
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 30, 2008, 06:19:08 PM
She thought she was Lady Godiva
but in truth she was just a bus driver.
As she spun that big wheel
she was sure to reveal
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on March 31, 2008, 12:17:23 AM
She thought she was Lady Godiva
but in truth she was just a bus driver.
As she spun that big wheel
she was sure to reveal
a target to tempt any diver.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 31, 2008, 03:16:04 AM
Her steering was driving them nuts
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on March 31, 2008, 04:18:54 AM
Her steering was driving them nuts
Causing them to spew up their guts
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 31, 2008, 05:22:07 AM
Her steering was driving them nuts
Causing them to spew up their guts
She slammed on the brake
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 31, 2008, 05:45:20 AM
Her steering was driving them nuts
Causing them to spew up their guts
She slammed on the brake
As a one-eyed pink snake
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 31, 2008, 06:22:43 AM
Her steering was driving them nuts
Causing them to spew up their guts
She slammed on the brake
As a one-eyed pink snake
sneakily snuck up her butt.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on March 31, 2008, 07:23:35 AM
Ah, Sir Nigel is back on the prowl
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 31, 2008, 07:33:26 AM
Ah, Sir Nigel is back on the prowl
with his sun hat, his beach-ball and towel
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 31, 2008, 07:51:35 AM
Ah, Sir Nigel is back on the prowl
with his sun hat, his beach-ball and towel
So bow friends and scrape 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 31, 2008, 08:29:12 AM
Ah, Sir Nigel is back on the prowl
with his sun hat, his beach-ball and towel
So bow friends and scrape 
but don't let him escape
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on March 31, 2008, 09:02:35 AM
Ah, Sir Nigel is back on the prowl
with his sun hat, his beach-ball and towel
So bow friends and scrape 
but don't let him escape
or at full moon he’ll transform and howl



A man with a rubbery mat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on March 31, 2008, 11:37:20 AM
A man with a rubbery mat,
Met a Chinaman wiv a rubbery cat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 31, 2008, 12:03:22 PM
A man with a rubbery mat,
Met a Chinaman wiv a rubbery cat
The cat's name was Wong
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: HeidiC on March 31, 2008, 01:01:34 PM
A man with a rubbery mat,
Met a Chinaman wiv a rubbery cat
The cat's name was Wong
It was good at ping pong
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 31, 2008, 02:10:37 PM
A man with a rubbery mat,
Met a Chinaman wiv a rubbery cat
The cat's name was Wong
It was good at ping pong
which it played with a rubbery bat.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 31, 2008, 02:38:22 PM
Onlookers decidedly curious
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on March 31, 2008, 03:25:52 PM
Onlookers decidedly curious
Poked a nun with a stick; she was furious.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on March 31, 2008, 06:09:35 PM
Onlookers decidedly curious
Poked a nun with a stick;she was furous
So she lifted her habit
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on March 31, 2008, 08:08:04 PM
Onlookers decidedly curious
Poked a nun with a stick;she was furious
So she lifted her habit
And out popped a rabbit
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 01, 2008, 03:43:36 AM
Onlookers decidedly curious
Poked a nun with a stick; she was furious
So she lifted her habit
And out popped a rabbit
Though some found this stunt feigned and spurious
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 01, 2008, 04:25:54 AM
But a monk in the crowd gave a cheer
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 01, 2008, 04:31:01 AM
But a monk in the crowd gave a cheer
‘Til that point he’d thought he was queer
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 01, 2008, 05:23:20 AM
But a monk in the crowd gave a cheer
‘Til that point he’d thought he was queer
now with rod stiff and proud
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 01, 2008, 06:11:03 AM
But a monk in the crowd gave a cheer
‘Til that point he’d thought he was queer
now with rod stiff and proud
he silenced the crowd
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 01, 2008, 06:33:14 AM
But a monk in the crowd gave a cheer
‘Til that point he’d thought he was queer
now with rod stiff and proud
he silenced the crowd
when he asked for a brave volunteer.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 01, 2008, 08:23:33 AM
Two ladies, their maid and a Turk,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 01, 2008, 09:22:01 AM
Two ladies, their maid and a Turk,
grabbed a scotsman and pilfered his dirk
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 01, 2008, 10:27:08 AM
Two ladies, their maid and a Turk,
grabbed a scotsman and pilfered his dirk
'Stop thief!' cried the Jock,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 01, 2008, 10:35:16 AM
Two ladies, their maid and a Turk,
grabbed a scotsman and pilfered his dirk
'Stop thief!' cried the Jock,
as he cocked his cop Glock
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on April 01, 2008, 02:54:21 PM
But a monk in the crowd gave a cheer
‘Til that point he’d thought he was queer
It was then that he knew
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on April 01, 2008, 04:10:13 PM
Two ladies,their maid and a Turk
grabbed a Scotsman and pilfered his dirk
'Stop thief!' cried the jock
as he cocked his cop Glock
Then blushed as he felt a right burk

A Scotsman by the name of Jock Strap
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on April 01, 2008, 04:48:47 PM
Boo Hoo someone nicked my line!!

A Scotsman by the name of Jock Strap
Dreamed he was covered in.... porridge
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 02, 2008, 03:34:41 AM
A Scotsman by the name of Jock Strap
Dreamed he was covered in.... porridge
He awoke with a start
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 02, 2008, 03:58:56 AM
A Scotsman by the name of Jock Strap
Dreamed he was covered in.... porridge
He awoke with a start
Wi' a cheap Glesga Tart
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 02, 2008, 04:08:18 AM
A Scotsman by the name of Jock Strap
Dreamed he was covered in.... porridge
He awoke with a start
Wi' a cheap Glesga Tart
and he now has a dose of the clap.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 02, 2008, 05:44:39 AM
‘Oh yes, Mrs Nesbit - you can’
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 02, 2008, 05:53:47 AM
‘Oh yes, Mrs Nesbit - you can’
Go to Spain to top up your tan
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 02, 2008, 07:48:01 AM
‘Oh yes, Mrs Nesbit - you can’
Go to Spain to top up your tan
and whilst there you'll find
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 02, 2008, 08:09:22 AM
Oh yes, Mrs Nesbit - you can’
Go to Spain to top up your tan
and whilst there you'll find
you’ll get well sixty-nined
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 02, 2008, 09:04:08 AM
Oh yes, Mrs Nesbit - you can’
Go to Spain to top up your tan
and whilst there you'll find
you’ll get well sixty-nined
and it may even be with a man.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on April 02, 2008, 09:43:29 AM
Oh yes, Mrs Nesbit - you can’
Go to Spain to top up your tan
and whilst there you'll find
you’ll get well sixty-nined
and it may even be with a man.


 ;D ;D ;D

RabC had trouble with his sporran
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 02, 2008, 09:46:25 AM
RabC had trouble with his sporran
it had grown somewhat tattered and worran (och Aye)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 02, 2008, 10:15:59 AM
RabC had trouble with his sporran
it had grown somewhat tattered and worran (och Aye)
but the man felt no guilt
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 02, 2008, 10:21:25 AM
RabC had trouble with his sporran
it had grown somewhat tattered and worran (och Aye)
but the man felt no guilt
he just hitched up his kilt
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 02, 2008, 10:25:27 AM
RabC had trouble with his sporran
it had grown somewhat tattered and worran (och Aye)
but the man felt no guilt
he just hitched up his kilt
and rogered a small Ecuadoran
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 02, 2008, 11:14:49 AM
In Mexico, as the sun rises
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 02, 2008, 11:27:03 AM
In Mexico, as the sun rises
I sit and I dream of Devizes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 02, 2008, 03:44:43 PM
In Mexico, as the sun rises
I sit and I dream of Devizes,
of grey stone and mists
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 02, 2008, 04:00:44 PM
In Mexico, as the sun rises
I sit and I dreams of Devizes,
of grey stone and mists;
Wiltshire birds with big tits
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 02, 2008, 04:51:44 PM
In Mexico, as the sun rises
I sit and I dreams of Devizes,
of grey stone and mists;
Wiltshire birds with big tits
and big wide welcoming eyeses ;-)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on April 02, 2008, 04:54:23 PM
 ;D ;D


Theodora just loved to surprise
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 02, 2008, 05:41:28 PM
Theodora just loved to surprise
But Jemima said 'Theo tells lies'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 02, 2008, 06:59:49 PM
Theodora just loved to surprise
But Jemima said 'Theo tells lies'
her breasts are synthetic
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on April 03, 2008, 12:55:26 AM
Theodora just loved to surprise
But Jemima said 'Theo tells lies'
her breasts are synthetic
Her nose job pathetic
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 03, 2008, 03:02:57 AM
Theodora just loved to surprise
But Jemima said 'Theo tells lies'
her breasts are synthetic
Her nose job pathetic
And Fred said 'She cracks nuts with her thighs'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on April 03, 2008, 03:14:21 AM
I once met a lady from Arnhem
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 03, 2008, 03:55:14 AM
I once met a lady from Arnhem
bought 2 hogs and attempted to farm 'em
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 03, 2008, 04:11:42 AM
I once met a lady from Arnhem
bought 2 hogs and attempted to farm 'em
The piggies stood there shakin’
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 03, 2008, 04:16:30 AM
I once met a lady from Arnhem
bought 2 hogs and attempted to farm 'em
The piggies stood shakin’
as their thoughts turned to bacon
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 03, 2008, 04:44:52 AM
I once met a lady from Arnhem
bought 2 hogs and attempted to farm 'em
The piggies stood shakin’
as their thoughts turned to bacon
But then who should appear? - Martin Parnham! (someone I went to school with since you ask)  
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 03, 2008, 04:53:20 AM
They told him he needed bifocals
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 03, 2008, 05:19:30 AM
They told him he needed bifocals
The better to examine the locals
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 03, 2008, 05:48:15 AM
They told him he needed bifocals
The better to examine the locals'
minute little heads
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 03, 2008, 05:54:50 AM
They told him he needed bifocals
The better to examine the locals'
minute little heads
in their hospital beds
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 03, 2008, 07:10:35 AM
They told him he needed bifocals
The better to examine the locals'
minute little heads
in their hospital beds
at St Nigel's ward for sick yokels.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on April 03, 2008, 08:29:40 AM
There once was a green praying mantis,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 03, 2008, 08:30:57 AM
Who thought he had come from Atlantis
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 03, 2008, 08:38:25 AM
There once was a green praying mantis,
Who thought he had come from Atlantis
But the truth was less strange
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 03, 2008, 08:43:09 AM
This might be stretching it a bit, and you can toss this out if you want to:

He'd come from Stonehenge
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 03, 2008, 08:49:36 AM
There once was a green praying mantis,
Who thought he had come from Atlantis
But the truth was less strange
He'd come from Stonehenge
where he'd purchased a new pair of panties.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 03, 2008, 09:09:07 AM
A writer called Lynne went to Bude
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 03, 2008, 09:25:26 AM
A writer called Lynne went to Bude
where she lived on the beach with a dude
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on April 03, 2008, 12:08:38 PM
A writer called Lynne went to Bude
where she lived on the beach with a dude
skinny dipping all day
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 03, 2008, 03:11:38 PM
A writer called Lynne went to Bude
where she lived on the beach with a dude
skinny dipping all day
life was wholesome and gay
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 03, 2008, 08:54:58 PM
'Cause she liked living life in the nude.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 03, 2008, 08:56:17 PM
Might as well start another


There was a young woman named Phyllis
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 03, 2008, 09:04:36 PM
There was a young woman named Phyllis
who lived with her friend Amaryllis
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on April 04, 2008, 01:52:08 AM
There was a young woman named Phyllis
who lived with her friend Amaryllis
One night they were frisky
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 04, 2008, 03:33:22 AM
There was a young woman named Phyllis
who lived with her friend Amaryllis
One night they were frisky
After drinking some whisky
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 04, 2008, 04:15:35 AM
There was a young woman named Phyllis
who lived with her friend Amaryllis
One night they were frisky
After drinking some whisky
And seduced an old schoolfriend called Dillys

(excuse me, I’m just off for a cold shower.)  

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 04, 2008, 05:06:52 AM
Sir Nigel's just slipped on the soap
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: chillies on April 04, 2008, 05:24:32 AM
Sir Nigel's just slipped on the soap
Oh dear, what a whimsical dope
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 04, 2008, 05:55:54 AM
Sir Nigel's just slipped on the soap
Oh dear, what a whimsical dope
He got in a lather
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 04, 2008, 07:57:22 AM
Sir Nigel's just slipped on the soap
Oh dear, what a whimsical dope
He got in a lather
and crippled?  "Oh, Rather!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 04, 2008, 08:02:45 AM
Sir Nigel's just slipped on the soap
Oh dear, what a whimsical dope
He got in a lather
and crippled?  "Oh, Rather!"
"Why wasn't the soap on a rope?"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 04, 2008, 08:16:52 AM
That last line triggered a memory which some of you may enjoy.

When The Pope visited Britain all those years back some entrerprising little trader made a batch of soap figurines of the Pontiff on a cord.  He completely missed his target market, the Catholic faithful, but it seems they sold like hotcakes to the more militant Protestants, who were delighted to own a 'Pope On A a Rope.' 

New Opener...

The Starlings are mimicking my Fax
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 04, 2008, 08:44:24 AM
The Starlings are mimicking my Fax
It must be time to release the cats
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 04, 2008, 11:06:55 AM
The Starlings are mimicking my Fax
It must be time to release the cats
or loose a swift arrow
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 04, 2008, 12:45:31 PM
The Starlings are mimicking my Fax
It must be time to release the cats
or loose a swift arrow
"Eye-eye" said the sparrow
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on April 04, 2008, 01:33:20 PM
The Starlings are mimicking my Fax
It must be time to release the cats
or loose a swift arrow
"Eye-eye" said the sparrow
"Lets catch them and give them a hair wax!"



"Hairless cats," claimed the queen, "Is absurd!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on April 04, 2008, 05:18:37 PM
"Hairless cats"claimed the queen."Is absurd!"
"My Corgis are supreme"  she gestured
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 04, 2008, 05:45:56 PM
"Hairless cats"claimed the queen."Is absurd!"
"My Corgis are supreme"  she gestured
"They're short, Welsh, and snappy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on April 04, 2008, 06:24:41 PM
"Hairless cats", claimed the queen, "Is absurd!"
"My Corgis are supreme"  she gestured
"They're short, Welsh, and snappy
although they're quite yappy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 05, 2008, 04:14:25 AM
"Hairless cats", claimed the queen, "Is absurd!"
"My Corgis are supreme"  she gestured
"They're short, Welsh, and snappy
although they're quite yappy
when roasted they taste quite superb."
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 05, 2008, 04:44:21 AM
Postman Pan loved a Corgi Kebab
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 05, 2008, 05:54:05 AM
Postman Pan loved a Corgi Kebab
It cheered up his life, which was drab.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 05, 2008, 06:19:15 AM
Postman Pan loved a Corgi Kebab
It cheered up his life, which was drab.
It tastes great with mustard
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 05, 2008, 08:05:42 AM
Postman Pan loved a Corgi Kebab
It cheered up his life, which was drab.
It tastes great with mustard
or 'interesting' with with custard
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 05, 2008, 08:08:07 AM
Postman Pan loved a Corgi Kebab
It cheered up his life, which was drab.
It tastes great with mustard
or 'interesting' with with custard
But my favourite is Corgi with crab.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 05, 2008, 08:24:14 AM
The "serious" writing business is getting me down today, so limericks are a real help.


The crab is a fascinating critter
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 05, 2008, 09:29:24 AM
The crab is a fascinating critter
It snuck up on Linda and bit her.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 05, 2008, 09:50:31 AM
The crab is a fascinating critter
It snuck up on Linda and bit her.
As it's claws grabbed her bum
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 05, 2008, 10:31:53 AM
The crab is a fascinating critter
It snuck up on Linda and bit her.
As it's claws grabbed her bum
She started to hum
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on April 05, 2008, 12:28:30 PM
The crab is a fascinating critter
It snuck up on Linda and bit her
As it's claws gabbed her bum
She started to hum
"Oh save me kind sir from his pincer"!


"Does my bum look big in this?" she cried
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 05, 2008, 12:44:59 PM
"Does my bum look big in this?" she cried.
"Of course, Dear.  It's seven feet wide."
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 05, 2008, 01:30:08 PM
"Does my bum look big in this?" she cried.
"Of course, Dear.  It's seven feet wide:
and eleven feet tall
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on April 05, 2008, 05:27:46 PM
"Does my bum look big in this?" she cried.
"Of course, Dear.  It's seven feet wide:
and eleven feet tall
encompasses the wall
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 05, 2008, 05:40:54 PM
"Does my bum look big in this?" she cried.
"Of course, Dear.  It's seven feet wide:
and eleven feet tall
encompasses the wall
And that's only on the left side.



OMG--Did I just finish this dreadful thing?   
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on April 05, 2008, 05:51:22 PM
OMG--Did I just finish this dreadful thing
Yes you did, and it went with a swing ;D
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 05, 2008, 05:56:20 PM
It took five hours.  I looked in on it now and then between my usual Saturday chores, and it seemed impossible, but we got 'er done.
Finally. 

My head hurts so bad from trying to figure it out that I can't think of any lines to start a new one. 

 :DSolitaire
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on April 05, 2008, 06:01:19 PM
Apologies Solitaire..I thought you'd started another one, sorry
elliex
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 05, 2008, 06:14:49 PM
ellie--I think the meter was all wrong for the first line, but if we take off "just" and "dreadful" it might work.  Thank you, and carry on. 


OMG--Did I just finish this dreadful thing
Yes you did, and it went with a swing
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on April 05, 2008, 06:36:42 PM
OMG--Did I just finish this thing
Yes you did, and it went with a swing
a large behind in rhyme
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 05, 2008, 07:05:09 PM
OMG--Did I just finish this thing
Yes you did, and it went with a swing
a large behind in rhyme
Takes far too much time
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on April 05, 2008, 07:18:54 PM
OMG--Did I just finish this thing
Yes you did, and it went with a swing
a large behind in rhyme
Takes far too much time
So we'll set it to music and sing


Solitaire was a heavenly singer


Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 05, 2008, 07:41:19 PM
Solitaire was a heavenly singer
and maybe a bit of a swinger
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on April 05, 2008, 07:44:49 PM
Solitaire was a heavenly singer
and maybe a bit of a swinger
Being cheery and fun
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 05, 2008, 08:02:34 PM
--and quick with a pun
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 05, 2008, 08:24:54 PM
Solitaire was a heavenly singer
and maybe a bit of a swinger
Being cheery and fun
--and quick with a pun
the lass sure as hell ain't no Minger ;-)

Gyppo had a date with a Hippo
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on April 05, 2008, 08:28:46 PM
Gyppo had a date with a Hippo
Until Gyppo let one word slippo   :o
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 06, 2008, 04:35:54 AM
Gyppo had a date with a Hippo
Until Gyppo let one word slippo-
f the end of his tongue
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 06, 2008, 06:46:53 AM
(This may be heading toward dirty-limerickville)

Gyppo had a date with a Hippo
Until Gyppo let one word slippo-
f the end of his tongue
'bout the way things were hung--
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 06, 2008, 07:03:37 AM
Gyppo had a date with a Hippo
Until Gyppo let one word slippo-
f the end of his tongue
'bout the way things were hung--
and the hippo quite promptly did skippo
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 06, 2008, 07:11:43 AM
Gyppo had a date with a Hippo
Until Gyppo let one word slippo-
f the end of his tongue
'bout the way things were hung--
and the hippo quite promptly did skippo


As I figured the poor dear would do
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Angeleyes on April 06, 2008, 10:01:02 AM
As I figured the poor dear would do
When she bent down to sit on the loo
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 06, 2008, 10:51:29 AM
As I figured the poor dear would do
When she bent down to sit on the loo
The porcelain crack't
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on April 06, 2008, 03:29:30 PM
As I figured the poor dear would do
When she bent down to sit on the loo
The porcelain crack't
There was no life jacket
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 06, 2008, 04:02:14 PM
As I figured the poor dear would do
When she bent down to sit on the loo
The porcelain crack't
There was no life jacket
as she fell in she shouted, "adieu!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 06, 2008, 06:12:01 PM
We gathered around as she foundered
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 06, 2008, 06:38:50 PM
We gathered around as she foundered,
kicked, and splashed, and floundered.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on April 06, 2008, 07:54:20 PM
We gathered around as she foundered,
kicked, and splashed, and floundered.
Then we heard her exclaim,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 06, 2008, 11:34:15 PM
We gathered around as she foundered,
kicked, and splashed, and floundered.
Then we heard her exclaim,
"It's always been my aim
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 07, 2008, 03:03:39 AM
We gathered around as she foundered,
kicked, and splashed, and majestically floundered.
Then we heard her exclaim,
"It has long been my aim
to drown in a way that astounded."
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 07, 2008, 04:51:49 AM
'Don't wave it about Mr Smedley'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 07, 2008, 05:11:37 AM
'Don't wave it about Mr Smedley'
'It's obscene, unclean and quite deadly'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 07, 2008, 05:17:37 AM
'Don't wave it about Mr Smedley'
'It's obscene, unclean and quite deadly'
Said the woman next door.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 07, 2008, 05:22:33 AM
'Don't wave it about Mr Smedley'
'It's obscene, unclean and quite deadly'
Said the woman next door.
who was now pretty sore
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 07, 2008, 06:04:33 AM
'Don't wave it about Mr Smedley'
'It's obscene, unclean and quite deadly'
Said the woman next door.
who was now pretty sore.
Then she farted a Rolf Harris medley.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 07, 2008, 06:07:40 AM
Then she left with a trumpety trump.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 07, 2008, 06:20:58 AM
Then she left with a trumpety trump.
She was fair, forty and rather plump
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 07, 2008, 06:22:06 AM
Then she left with a trumpety trump.
She was fair, forty and rather plump
with a perfect pitch arse
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 07, 2008, 06:31:32 AM
Then she left with a trumpety trump.
She was fair, forty and rather plump
with a perfect pitch arse
Which was tuneful but sparse
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 07, 2008, 06:39:54 AM
Then she left with a trumpety trump.
She was fair, forty and plump
with a perfect pitch arse
Which was tuneful but sparse
and lay in the shade of her hump.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 07, 2008, 06:51:47 AM
Young Billy took a boat down the Clyde
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 07, 2008, 08:09:20 AM
Young Billy took a boat down the Clyde
But he tripped and fell over the side
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 07, 2008, 08:24:20 AM
Young Billy took a boat down the Clyde
But he tripped and fell over the side
As he swam for the bank
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 07, 2008, 08:27:50 AM
Young Billy took a boat down the Clyde
But he tripped and fell over the side
As he swam for the bank
he was drowned by a Yank
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 07, 2008, 08:36:08 AM
Young Billy took a boat down the Clyde
But he tripped and fell over the side
As he swam for the bank
he was drowned by a Yank
from a Puffer awaiting the tide
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 07, 2008, 09:11:08 AM
A goat herd named Septimus Dim
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 07, 2008, 09:20:02 AM
A goat herd named Septimus Dim
Sat down by the volcano's rim
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lila on April 07, 2008, 09:56:11 AM
A goat herd named Septimus Dim
Sat down by the volcano's rim
He put in his finger
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 07, 2008, 09:57:37 AM
A goat herd named Septimus Dim
Sat down by the volcano's rim
He put in his finger
whilst his girlfriend (a minger)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 07, 2008, 10:15:45 AM
A goat herd named Septimus Dim
Sat down by the volcano's rim
He put in his finger
whilst his girlfriend (a minger)
Said ‘Septimus my name’s really Tim.’
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 07, 2008, 10:18:53 AM
Though Tim was a bloke, she was hot
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 07, 2008, 10:29:28 AM
Though Tim was a bloke, she was hot
But Septimus cared not a jot
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 07, 2008, 11:49:18 AM
Though Tim was a bloke, she was hot
But Septimus cared not a jot:
he's a volcano sniffer
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 07, 2008, 04:52:49 PM
Though Tim was a bloke, she was hot
But Septimus cared not a jot:
he's a volcano sniffer
wot makes 'im get stiffer   :-[
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 08, 2008, 04:05:42 AM
Though Tim was a bloke, she was hot
But Septimus cared not a jot:
he's a volcano sniffer
wot makes 'im get stiffer 
and he likes to get stiffer a lot  :-[ :-[
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 08, 2008, 04:06:15 AM
A fatty whilst eating a bun
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 08, 2008, 04:54:14 AM
A fatty whilst eating a bun
said "My weight is approaching one ton."
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on April 08, 2008, 04:57:01 AM
A fatty whilst eating a bun
said "My weight is approaching one ton."
I cannot stand up
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 08, 2008, 05:06:53 AM
A fatty whilst eating a bun
said "My weight is approaching one ton."
I cannot stand up
and my bra's a 'Z' cup
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 08, 2008, 05:09:29 AM
A fatty whilst eating a bun
said "My weight is approaching one ton."
I cannot stand up
and my bra's a 'Z' cup
"Good Gawd, I'm an army of one."   :D
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 08, 2008, 07:40:11 AM
When his Amazon delivery arrived
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 08, 2008, 08:21:16 AM
When his Amazon delivery arrived
Mr. Gyppo cavorted and jived
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on April 08, 2008, 11:09:04 AM
When his Amazon delivery arrived
Mr. Gyppo cavorted and jived
Inside was a snake
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 08, 2008, 11:12:23 AM
When his Amazon delivery arrived
Mr. Gyppo cavorted and jived
Inside was a snake
and a piece of fruit cake
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 09, 2008, 04:45:39 AM
When his Amazon delivery arrived
Mr. Gyppo cavorted and jived
Inside was a snake
and a piece of fruit cake
Though some found this rather contrived
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 09, 2008, 04:52:08 AM
Ciontrived?  Well that's not quite the word
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on April 09, 2008, 05:08:53 AM
Whilst sorting out a whole load of boxes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 09, 2008, 05:10:02 AM
Contrived?  Well that's not quite the word
Absurd is the word I'd preferred
   .............................   Whilst sorting out a whole load of boxes
containing my smelly old soxes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 09, 2008, 06:14:47 AM
Whilst sorting out a whole load of boxes
containing my smelly old soxes
I found an umbrella
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 09, 2008, 06:22:45 AM
Contrived?  Well that's not quite the word
Absurd is the word I'd preferred
Perhaps I misheard
I'm a slightly deaf nerd

   .............................   Whilst sorting out a whole load of boxes
containing my smelly old soxes
I found an umbrella
and a French onion seller

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 09, 2008, 08:51:23 AM
Contrived?  Well that's not quite the word
Absurd is the word I'd preferred
Perhaps I misheard
I'm a slightly deaf nerd
But my laughter was def'nitely stirred

Whilst sorting out a whole load of boxes
containing my smelly old soxes
I found an umbrella
and a French onion seller
riding a whole team of oxes
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 09, 2008, 09:55:47 AM
My new arrows arrived in the post
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 09, 2008, 11:24:55 AM
My new arrows arrived in the post
and usually I'm not one to boast
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 09, 2008, 11:29:22 AM
My new arrows arrived in the post
and usually I'm not one to boast
They are the dog's wotsits
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 09, 2008, 05:07:02 PM
My new arrows arrived in the post
and usually I'm not one to boast
They are the dog's wotsits
as each one the Gold hits
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 09, 2008, 07:00:06 PM
My new arrows arrived in the post
and usually I'm not one to boast
They are the dog's wotsits
as each one the Gold hits
'cept the one that got 'et by a ghost


A ghost 'et my arrow by gum
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 10, 2008, 02:31:02 AM
A ghost 'et my arrow by gum
I can see it, there in his tum
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 10, 2008, 03:24:25 AM
A ghost 'et my arrow by gum
I can see it, there in his tum
from point back to nock
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 10, 2008, 03:43:01 AM
A ghost 'et my arrow by gum
I can see it, there in his tum
from point back to nock
it's as stiff as my ... sock
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 10, 2008, 04:29:46 AM
A ghost 'et my arrow by gum
I can see it, there in his tum
from point back to nock
it's as stiff as my ... sock
And sticks out at his neck and bum
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 10, 2008, 04:56:11 AM
Last night my trousers caught fire
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 10, 2008, 06:48:41 AM
Last night my trousers caught fire
when I boffed a fire-eating town crier
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: chillies on April 10, 2008, 06:53:45 AM
Last night my trousers caught fire
when I boffed a fire-eating town crier
"Pardon me" I said
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 10, 2008, 07:03:23 AM
Last night my trousers caught fire
when I boffed a fire-eating town crier
"Pardon me" I said
"That hat on your head"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 10, 2008, 07:08:01 AM
Last night my trousers caught fire
when I boffed a fire-eating town crier
"Pardon me" I said
"That hat on your head
is the source of my flaming desire!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 10, 2008, 10:02:31 AM
A young Fire-starter called Pete
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 10, 2008, 04:15:33 PM
A young Fire-starter called Pete
Set ablaze both sides of the street.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on April 10, 2008, 04:44:56 PM
A young Fire-starter called Pete
Set ablaze both sides of the street.
His flaming, red hair
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 10, 2008, 05:00:11 PM
A young Fire-starter called Pete
Set ablaze both sides of the street.
His flaming, red hair
and singed underwear
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 10, 2008, 05:16:53 PM
A young Fire-starter called Pete
Set ablaze both sides of the street.
His flaming, red hair
and singed underwear
were all that was left of roast Pete.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on April 10, 2008, 06:30:46 PM
There was an old man from Madrid
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 10, 2008, 06:32:24 PM
There was an old man from Madrid
who fought bulls all day, "Yes he did!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 10, 2008, 09:26:38 PM
There was an old man from Madrid
who fought bulls all day, "Yes he did!"
With cape and a sword,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on April 10, 2008, 10:26:09 PM
There was an old man from Madrid
Who fought bulls all day, "Yes he did!"
With cape and a sword,
He rode ginergly toward
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on April 10, 2008, 11:59:35 PM
There was an old man from Madrid
Who fought bulls all day, "Yes he did!"
With cape and a sword,
He rode ginergly toward
A rodeo clown with a squid
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on April 11, 2008, 03:13:21 AM
An orangutan called Grendon needs adopting,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 11, 2008, 04:31:53 AM
An orangutan called Grendon needs adopting,
He’s small, like a brown hairy mop thing
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 11, 2008, 05:45:57 AM
An orangutan called Grendon needs adopting,
He’s small, like a brown hairy mop thing
It's a pen pal he wants
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 11, 2008, 07:04:14 AM
An orangutan called Grendon needs adopting,
He’s small, like a brown hairy mop thing
It's a pen pal he wants
or a bag of croissants
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 11, 2008, 07:56:13 AM
An orangutan called Grendon needs adopting,
He’s small, like a brown hairy mop thing
It's a pen pal he wants
or a bag of croissants
Or a ticket to hear that fat wop sing.

(I’m scratching for rhymes here so apologies to those of a sensitive liberal persuasion, opera lovers and of course, wops.).

Phew. Those were the worst rhymes ever.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 11, 2008, 08:18:35 AM
Finbar and Torquil McCloud
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 11, 2008, 08:22:22 AM
Finbar and Torquil McCloud
On their own make one helluva crowd







P.S. Sir Nigel--I couldn't agree with you more about the previous rhymes.  So bad, they's good. ;)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 11, 2008, 08:51:49 AM
Finbar and Torquil McCloud
On their own make one helluva crowd
with their sporrans and dirks
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 11, 2008, 08:56:16 AM
Finbar and Torquil McCloud
On their own make one helluva crowd
with their sporrans and dirks
and their odd sexual quirks
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 11, 2008, 09:26:48 AM
Finbar and Torquil McCloud
On their own make one helluva crowd
with their sporrans and dirks
and their odd sexual quirks --
I don't think it should be allowed.


He smelt just like Deputy Dog
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 11, 2008, 09:43:53 AM
He smelt just like Deputy Dog
So they found him with ease in the fog
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 11, 2008, 09:55:03 AM
He smelt just like Deputy Dog
So they found him with ease in the fog.
He was nailed to a gate
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 11, 2008, 09:58:49 AM
He smelt just like Deputy Dog
So they found him with ease in the fog.
He was nailed to a gate
Which is why he was late
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 11, 2008, 10:15:01 AM
He smelt just like Deputy Dog
So they found him with ease in the fog.
He was nailed to a gate
Which is why he was late
Now he'll write about it in his blog.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on April 11, 2008, 11:54:06 AM
Poor Dog with the stench of his pen
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 11, 2008, 01:48:49 PM
Poor Dog with the stench of his pen
He reeked like a really ripe fen
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 11, 2008, 02:19:30 PM
Poor Dog with the stench of his pen
He reeked like a really ripe fen
He dripped with green slime
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 11, 2008, 02:23:15 PM
Poor Dog with the stench of his pen
He reeked like a really ripe fen
He dripped with green slime
and then started whine
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on April 11, 2008, 02:59:15 PM
Poor Dog with the stench of his pen
He reeked like a really ripe fen
He dripped with green slime
and then started to whine
and crawled back into his den.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 11, 2008, 03:11:36 PM
Allyrose is a whiz with a rhyme
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 11, 2008, 06:48:32 PM
Allyrose is a whiz with a rhyme
and flavours her omelettes with thyme
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on April 12, 2008, 07:33:21 AM
Allyrose is a whiz with a rhyme
and flavours her omelettes with thyme,
But thyme dont stand still
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 12, 2008, 10:02:29 AM
Allyrose is a whiz with a rhyme
and flavours her omelettes with thyme,
But thyme dont stand still
So it takes great skill
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 12, 2008, 10:12:11 AM
Allyrose is a whiz with a rhyme
and flavours her omelettes with thyme,
But thyme dont stand still
So it takes great skill
to make omelettes that taste so sublime.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on April 12, 2008, 10:25:55 AM
I was dressed in my pants and my vest
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 12, 2008, 10:34:51 AM
I was dressed in my pants and my vest
admiring the hairs on my chest
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on April 12, 2008, 10:59:09 AM
I was dressed in my pants and my vest
admiring the hairs on my chest
and feeling kinda cocky
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 12, 2008, 06:01:06 PM
I was dressed in my pants and my vest
admiring the hairs on my chest
and feeling kinda cocky
"I do look like Rocky
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 12, 2008, 09:28:58 PM
I was dressed in my pants and my vest
admiring the hairs on my chest
and feeling kinda cocky
"I do look like Rocky
The product of pugilistic incest."
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on April 12, 2008, 10:18:06 PM
Said the man with the fists of steel,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 12, 2008, 10:37:23 PM
Said the man with the fists of steel,
"You have no idea how I feel
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on April 12, 2008, 11:02:18 PM
Said the man with the fists of steel,
"You have no idea how I feel
I put on my gloves
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 13, 2008, 01:03:21 AM
Said the man with the fists of steel,
"You have no idea how I feel.
I put on my gloves
to give people shoves,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 13, 2008, 01:19:22 PM
Said the man with the fists of steel,
"You have no idea how I feel.
I put on my gloves
to give people shoves,
and I crack a few heads till they squeal."

An eagle named Simon did swoop

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on April 13, 2008, 01:53:35 PM
An eagle named Simon did swoop
And on the Queen's head he did poop
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 13, 2008, 01:56:37 PM
An eagle named Simon did swoop
And on the Queen's head he did poop.
This republican bird
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 13, 2008, 05:21:35 PM
An eagle named Simon did swoop
And on the Queen's head he did poop.
This republican bird
dropped a mighty great turd
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on April 13, 2008, 05:27:05 PM
An eagle named Simon did swoop
And on the Queen's head he did poop.
This republican bird
dropped a mighty great turd
then hid out in the pigeon coop


The Queen sent for her trusted Royal Guard
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 13, 2008, 05:48:43 PM
The Queen sent for her trusted Royal Guard
to punish this avian blackguard
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 13, 2008, 05:50:56 PM
The Queen sent for her trusted Royal Guard
to punish this avian blackguard
who fried it in batter
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 13, 2008, 06:35:32 PM
The Queen sent for her trusted Royal Guard
to punish this avian blackguard
who fried it in batter
and served on a platter
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on April 13, 2008, 07:24:34 PM
The Queen sent for her trusted Royal Guard
to punish this avian blackguard
who fried it in batter
and served on a platter
to the employees of Scotland Yard
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 13, 2008, 09:47:30 PM
An Englishman stuck in New York
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 14, 2008, 02:32:39 AM
An Englishman stuck in New York
stabbed a fat bellied man with a fork
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 14, 2008, 05:04:50 AM
An Englishman stuck in New York
stabbed a fat bellied man with a fork
The fat guy said Hey!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 14, 2008, 05:11:14 AM
An Englishman stuck in New York
stabbed a fat bellied man with a fork
The fat guy said Hey!
"Mind my forking toupee!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 14, 2008, 05:23:04 AM
An Englishman stuck in New York
stabbed a fat bellied man with a fork
The fat guy said Hey!
"Mind my forking toupee!"
And the Englishman said "What a Dork!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 14, 2008, 05:55:21 AM
It was wrong to accuse him of spite
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 14, 2008, 06:06:41 AM
It was wrong to accuse him of spite
Now he’s dead – you shot him last night
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 14, 2008, 06:54:14 AM
It was wrong to accuse him of spite
Now he’s dead – you shot him last night
When he mentioned his wife
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 14, 2008, 07:01:22 AM
It was wrong to accuse him of spite
Now he’s dead – you shot him last night
When he mentioned his wife
(she's that plain bird from Fife)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 14, 2008, 08:30:13 AM
It was wrong to accuse him of spite
Now he’s dead – you shot him last night
When he mentioned his wife
(she's that plain bird from Fife)
You cried “No, she’s a bit of alright!”
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on April 14, 2008, 09:21:49 AM
Whilst remembering to pay all my taxes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 14, 2008, 09:31:51 AM
Whilst remembering to pay all my taxes
I could still afford full body waxes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on April 14, 2008, 11:44:24 AM
Whilst remembering to pay all my taxes
I could still afford full body waxes
Full Brazilian a must
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: cleopatra on April 14, 2008, 07:05:28 PM
Whilst remembering to pay all my taxes
I could still afford full body waxes
Full Brazilian a must
and tassles for my bust
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on April 14, 2008, 07:16:53 PM
Whilst remembering to pay all my taxes
I could still afford full body waxes
Full Brazilian a must
and tassels for my bust
With all that my body relaxes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on April 14, 2008, 10:02:28 PM
My masseuse had such marvelous hands
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 14, 2008, 10:56:58 PM
My masseuse had such marvelous hands
It's a pity no one understands,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on April 15, 2008, 02:29:30 AM
My masseuse had such marvelous hands
It's a pity no one understands,
When she slaps me and squeezes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 15, 2008, 02:46:49 AM
My masseuse had such marvelous hands
It's a pity no one understands,
When she slaps me and squeezes
it eases my kneezes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 15, 2008, 03:39:55 AM
My masseuse had such marvellous hands
It's a pity no one understands,
When she slaps me and squeezes
it eases my kneezes
And I secrete from various glands
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 15, 2008, 03:44:18 AM
A weasel ran off with my slippers
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 15, 2008, 03:52:41 AM
A weasel ran off with my slippers
Whilst a stoat took my snorkel and flippers
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 15, 2008, 04:57:51 AM
A weasel ran off with my slippers
Whilst a stoat took my snorkel and flippers
A goat ate my tie
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ma100 on April 15, 2008, 05:12:23 AM

A weasel ran off with my slippers
Whilst a stoat took my snorkel and flippers
A goat ate my tie
Then nibbled my thigh
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 15, 2008, 05:24:02 AM
A weasel ran off with my slippers
Whilst a stoat took my snorkel and flippers
A goat ate my tie
then nibbled my thigh
Oh I love dropping acid with strippers
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 15, 2008, 08:12:42 AM
In case you were wondering my dear
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 15, 2008, 08:18:37 AM
In case you were wondering my dear
How you got to this Wonderland here
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 15, 2008, 08:27:57 AM
In case you were wondering my dear
How you got to this Wonderland here
It was Glinda the witch
dragged your arse from that ditch
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 15, 2008, 08:37:58 AM
In case you were wondering my dear
How you got to this Wonderland here
It was Glinda the witch
dragged your arse from that ditch
Though how you fell in is unclear


I’ve just realised I was slow on the uptake here. I completely missed the Alice reference and went with Wizard of Oz instead. Duh, Unghh. Thick or what. Doh.   Soz Sollytare.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 15, 2008, 08:44:02 AM
Our Sir Nigel made quite a flub
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 15, 2008, 08:45:21 AM
Our Sir Nigel made quite a flub
(he's just stumbled out of the pub)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 15, 2008, 08:54:27 AM
Our Sir Nigel made quite a flub
(he's just stumbled out of the pub)
The ale makes him addled
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 15, 2008, 09:02:46 AM
Our Sir Nigel made quite a flub
(he's just stumbled out of the pub)
The ale makes him addled
Yesh I’m wazzed and be-fwaddled
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 15, 2008, 09:13:01 AM
Our Sir Nigel made quite a flub
(he's just stumbled out of the pub)
The ale makes him addled
Yesh I’m wazzed and be-fwaddled
Welcome, dear Sir, to the club!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 15, 2008, 09:18:04 AM
I’d like to stress that I am of course, in actual fact, as sober as a drudge.
Sorry Judge.

A judge is what I’m as sober yes. Oh yes.


Who put all these cats in here?

Oh she was only a good little Irish Catholic girl from Tralee but she couldn’t half give you a good…

What?

Ahshuddupyerselfyerfatbassa 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 15, 2008, 09:23:20 AM
Pardon me, Sir, but were any of the previous lines the beginning of a new limerick?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 15, 2008, 09:27:16 AM
What previous lines?

who are you?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 15, 2008, 10:01:26 AM
His nostrils were flaring with rage
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 15, 2008, 10:10:15 AM
His nostrils were flaring with rage
They’d painted his living room beige
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 15, 2008, 10:31:51 AM
His nostrils were flaring with rage
They’d painted his living room beige.
And worse than all that
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on April 15, 2008, 02:48:31 PM
His nostrils were flaring with rage
They’d painted his living room beige.
And worse than all that
On the floor in the flat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 15, 2008, 03:15:40 PM
His nostrils were flaring with rage
They’d painted his living room beige.
And worse than all that
On the floor in the flat
was a wilderbeast locked in a cage.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 15, 2008, 10:01:51 PM
A purposeful porpoise named Ralph,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 16, 2008, 03:09:53 AM
A purposeful porpoise named Ralph,
wished his parents had christened him Alf
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on April 16, 2008, 03:24:44 AM
A purposeful porpoise named Ralph,
wished his parents had christened him Alf
Cos the "R" in his name   


 (work this one out folks, really make this a good one!  Think Porpoise, Ralph and Alf being similar names and his parents and the word purposeful, just being helpful  I know you can do it- Lin x x)

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 16, 2008, 04:10:03 AM
A purposeful porpoise named Ralph,
wished his parents had christened him Alf
Cos the "R" in his name   
Meant his name was the same
As notorious tortoise Ralph Balfe
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 16, 2008, 05:16:30 AM
Ralph Balfe ran a strip joint in Reno
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 16, 2008, 05:27:16 AM
Ralph Balfe ran a strip joint in Reno
With Alfonso – a snake-hipped Latino
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 16, 2008, 05:41:29 AM
Ralph Balfe ran a strip joint in Reno
With Alfonso – a snake-hipped Latino.
Their turtle faced acts
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 16, 2008, 05:56:50 AM
Ralph Balfe ran a strip joint in Reno
With Alfonso – a snake-hipped Latino.
Their turtle faced acts
Amused perverts in macs
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 16, 2008, 06:21:29 AM
Ralph Balfe ran a strip joint in Reno
With Alfonso – a snake-hipped Latino.
Their turtle faced acts
Amused perverts in macs
by farting as loud as El Niño
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 16, 2008, 07:02:20 AM
Citabria likes to be rude
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 16, 2008, 08:20:35 AM
Citabria likes to be rude
Sometimes even crude in the nude
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 16, 2008, 08:34:18 AM
Citabria likes to be rude
Sometimes even crude in the nude
He’ll frighten meek vicars 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 16, 2008, 08:36:56 AM
Citabria likes to be rude
Sometimes even crude in the nude
He’ll frighten meek vicars
if he shows them his knickers
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 16, 2008, 08:46:53 AM
Citabria likes to be rude
Sometimes even crude in the nude
He’ll frighten meek vicars
if he shows them his knickers
--So that's what they mean by "Lewd".
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 16, 2008, 09:09:50 AM
His ganglion was getting unsightly
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 16, 2008, 09:21:07 AM
His ganglion was getting unsightly
It glowed in the dark -- very brightly.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 16, 2008, 09:26:30 AM
His ganglion was getting unsightly
It glowed in the dark -- very brightly.
This lump, a bible-bump
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 16, 2008, 09:27:59 AM
His ganglion was getting unsightly
It glowed in the dark -- very brightly.
This lump, a bible-bump
really gave him the hump
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 16, 2008, 09:33:59 AM
His ganglion was getting unsightly
It glowed in the dark -- very brightly.
This lump, a bible-bump
really gave him the hump
Cos sometimes he thumped it twice nightly
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on April 16, 2008, 05:15:31 PM
Once a night is enough they say
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 17, 2008, 04:45:54 AM
Once a night is enough they say
But what about during the day?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 17, 2008, 08:30:46 AM
Once a night is enough they say
But what about during the day?
Kneel on your hassock
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 17, 2008, 08:36:01 AM
Once a night is enough they say
But what about during the day?
Kneel on your hassock
Then lift up my cassock
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on April 17, 2008, 08:44:20 AM
Once a night is enough they say
But what about during the day?
Kneel on your hassock
Then lift up my cassock
Saying "Boy is that all you?" Whey hey ! :o
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 17, 2008, 08:49:19 AM
Somehow I thought we’d end up with a Wey Hey.


The priest said ‘Oh heavens Miss Ellie’
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 17, 2008, 09:03:47 AM
The priest said ‘Oh heavens Miss Ellie’
Please cover up your plump belly.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 17, 2008, 09:12:55 AM
The priest said ‘Oh heavens Miss Ellie,
Please cover up your plump belly.
Put your bosoms away'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 17, 2008, 09:24:46 AM
The priest said ‘Oh heavens Miss Ellie,
Please cover up your plump little belly.
Put your bosoms away:
can't you see that I'm gay!'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 17, 2008, 09:32:04 AM
The priest said ‘Oh heavens Miss Ellie,
Please cover up your plump little belly.
Put your bosoms away:
can't you see that I'm gay!
And what’s with the strawberry jelly?’
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on April 17, 2008, 09:40:18 AM
Mary had a little lamb, she often had a bear
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on April 17, 2008, 11:48:09 AM
 ;D ;D ;D
Love the last one!


Mary had a little lamb,she often had a bear
Folk who passed her by,said"Blimey what a pair!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on April 17, 2008, 12:12:26 PM
Mary had a little lamb,she often had a bear
Folk who passed her by,said"Blimey what a pair!"
I'd never seen her bear at all
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 18, 2008, 05:00:33 AM
Mary had a little lamb, she often had a bear
Folk who passed her by each day said "Blimey what a pair!"
I'd never seen her bear at all – the teasing little hussy.
I haven’t seen her famous pair
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on April 18, 2008, 08:08:39 AM
Hang on this doesnt rhyme!!


Try again




Mary had a little lamb, she often had a bear
Folk who passed her by each day said "Blimey what a pair!"
I'd never seen her bear at all –
The teasing hussy wore a shawl
And Mary's lamb wore wool and didnt care


Anyone want to add to the last line and improve on it?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 18, 2008, 08:15:20 AM
Mary had a little lamb, she often had a bear
Folk who passed her by each day said "Blimey what a pair!"
I'd never seen her bear at all – the teasing little hussy.
I haven’t seen her famous pair


Lin - it does rhyme. It didn't start out as a limerick so you can't suddenly make it one. It just needs another half a line:

'I haven’t seen her famous pair.. de diddle diddle *ussy.'



Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on April 18, 2008, 10:36:55 AM
I suppose I was trying to turn it back into some kind of limerick even though it wasnt really a limerick!!  Tee hee!!   Thanks

Lin x x x x
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on April 18, 2008, 12:53:19 PM
While Sir Nigel and Lin where spoofing  ;)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 18, 2008, 03:35:04 PM
While Sir Nigel and Lin where spoofing,
The men on the roof were...well, roofing
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 18, 2008, 07:36:15 PM
While Sir Nigel and Lin where spoofing,
The men on the roof were...well, roofing
There roofing was vig'rous




(I was waiting to see what happened with that Mary Had a Little Lamb bit.  The nursery-rhyme seemed to trump the limerick on each pass.  Had me stumped.)


 :D   Solitaire
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on April 18, 2008, 09:50:44 PM
While Sir Nigel and Lin where spoofing,
The men on the roof were...well, roofing
There roofing was vig'rous
The rhyming was rig'rous
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 18, 2008, 11:35:34 PM
While Sir Nigel and Lin where spoofing,
The men on the roof were...well, roofing
There roofing was vig'rous
The rhyming was rig'rous
But both rhyme and roof needed proofing.


An eloquent young gent from Ghent,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on April 19, 2008, 03:04:39 AM
An eloquent young gent from Ghent,
And a lady all smelling of scent,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on April 19, 2008, 03:46:34 AM
An eloquent young gent from Ghent,
And a lady all smelling of scent,
Took a walk in the park
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 19, 2008, 04:44:42 AM
An eloquent young gent from Ghent,
And a lady all smelling of scent,
Took a walk in the park
and embraced in the dark
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on April 19, 2008, 04:47:31 AM
An eloquent young gent from Ghent,
And a lady all smelling of scent,
Took a walk in the park
and embraced in the dark
and now no one knows where they went.



Then much to the crowd's great surprise
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 19, 2008, 06:37:50 AM
Then much to the crowd's great surprise
A Lord of the Realm stole the pies
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 19, 2008, 06:42:51 AM
Then much to the crowd's great surprise
A Lord of the Realm stole the pies
He consumed one or two
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 19, 2008, 06:51:09 AM
Then much to the crowd's great surprise
A Lord of the Realm stole the pies
He consumed one or two
Hid three in his shoe
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 19, 2008, 07:30:58 AM
Then much to the crowd's great surprise
A Lord of the Realm stole the pies
He consumed one or two
Hid three in his shoe
The last one I wiped from my eyes




I'll teach you to pie me, My Lord
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 19, 2008, 07:42:02 AM
I'll teach you to pie me, My Lord
when I cut off your crust with my sword
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 19, 2008, 07:45:31 AM
I'll teach you to pie me, My Lord
when I cut off your crust with my sword
You'll not crop my crust
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on April 19, 2008, 12:08:21 PM
I'll teach you to pie me,My lord
when I cut off your crust with my sword
You'll not crop my crust
Have to get past my bust
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on April 19, 2008, 01:22:16 PM
I'll teach you to pie, My Lord
when I cut off your crust with my sword
You'll not crop my crust
Have to get past my bust
And I will have the last word
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 19, 2008, 01:41:14 PM
A ventriloquist's dummy called jack
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on April 19, 2008, 06:10:18 PM
A ventriloquist's dummy called jack
Rather admired his long, wooden rack
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 19, 2008, 06:17:32 PM
A ventriloquist's dummy called jack
Rather admired his long, wooden rack
so he wrote a love poem
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 19, 2008, 10:32:24 PM
A ventriloquist's dummy called jack
Rather admired his long, wooden rack
so he wrote a love poem
He intended to show 'em
 
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 20, 2008, 06:06:45 AM
A ventriloquist's dummy called jack
Rather admired his long, wooden rack
so he wrote a love poem
He intended to show 'em
Till Zak covered his rack with a mac.

A snuff movie watcher called Fred
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 20, 2008, 07:14:26 AM

A snuff movie watcher called Fred
Indulged from a bed in his shed
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 20, 2008, 07:39:25 AM
A snuff movie watcher called Fred
Indulged from a bed in his shed
He watched people snort
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 20, 2008, 08:31:51 AM
A snuff movie watcher called Fred
Indulged from a bed in his shed
He watched people snort
And otherwise cavort
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 20, 2008, 08:53:00 AM
A snuff movie watcher called Fred
Indulged from a bed in his shed
He watched people snort
And otherwise cavort
Then he wrote it all up on this thread.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 20, 2008, 09:24:17 AM
Among all the dead on Fred's Thread
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 20, 2008, 12:43:05 PM
Among all the dead on Fred's Thread
Was the ex-bass player for Bread
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 20, 2008, 12:55:43 PM
Among all the dead on Fred's Thread
Was the ex-bass player for Bread
As he fondled his g-string
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on April 20, 2008, 01:03:33 PM
Among all the dead on Fred's Thread
Was the ex-bass player for Bread
As he fondled his g-string
At a hot gig in Peking
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 20, 2008, 01:07:52 PM
Among all the dead on Fred's Thread
Was the ex-bass player for Bread
As he fondled his g-string
At a hot gig in Peking
A fat tourist trod on his head.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on April 20, 2008, 01:45:23 PM
Where does all the snow go?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on April 21, 2008, 03:32:13 AM
Where does all the snow go?
And the wool of a sock, you know?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 21, 2008, 04:20:59 AM
Where does all the snow go?
And the wool of a sock, you know?
And the three legged cats
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 21, 2008, 04:28:58 AM
Where does all the snow go?
And the wool of a sock, you know?
And the three legged cats
And affordable flats
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 21, 2008, 08:48:18 AM
Where does all the snow go?
And the wool of a sock, you know?
And the three legged cats
And affordable flats
And that ogre that ate Aunty Flo
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on April 21, 2008, 11:13:28 AM
Susie just wore pants and bra
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 21, 2008, 07:42:51 PM
Susie just wore pants and bra
Which caused ol' man winter to thaw
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on April 21, 2008, 08:06:50 PM
Susie just wore pants and bra
which caused ol' man winter to thaw
It just kept on snowing
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 22, 2008, 03:51:26 AM
Susie just wore pants and bra
which caused ol' man winter to thaw
It just kept on snowing
And Susie kept showing
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 22, 2008, 03:56:50 AM
Susie just wore pants and bra
which caused ol' man winter to thaw
It just kept on snowing
And Susie kept showing
Her assets to each passing car
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 22, 2008, 05:12:26 AM
A capricious young floozy called Jayne
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 22, 2008, 05:21:40 AM
A capricious young floozy called Jayne
Packed her bags for a holiday to Spain
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 22, 2008, 05:24:59 AM
A capricious young floozy called Jayne
Packed her bags for a holiday to Spain.
In Club 18-30
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Toxophilus on April 22, 2008, 05:32:22 AM
A capricious young floozy called Jayne
Packed her bags for a holiday to Spain.
In Club 18-30
She was really flirty
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 22, 2008, 05:41:43 AM
A capricious young floozy called Jayne
Packed her bags for a holiday to Spain.
In Club 18-30
She was really flirty
She had all the senors ole'ing!!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 22, 2008, 07:12:59 AM
'Hello' said the smelly old man
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 22, 2008, 07:27:10 AM
'Hello' said the smelly old man
'I'm a poet you know! And I can
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 22, 2008, 08:05:13 AM
'Hello' said the smelly old man
'I'm a poet you know! And I can.’
‘No you can’t’ said the nurse.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 22, 2008, 08:10:04 AM
'Hello' said the smelly old man
'I'm a poet you know! And I can.’
‘No you can’t’ said the nurse.
I don't know which stinks worse
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 22, 2008, 08:19:35 AM
'Hello' said the smelly old man
'I'm a poet you know! And I can.’
‘No you can’t’ said the nurse.
I don't know which stinks worse
your poems or that filthy bed pan.'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 22, 2008, 08:40:20 AM
The odorous old man wrote free verse
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 22, 2008, 08:43:12 AM
The odorous old man wrote free verse
But was taken away in a hearse
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 22, 2008, 08:46:30 AM
The odorous old man wrote free verse
But was taken away in a hearse
while a man in a bonnet
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 22, 2008, 08:48:26 AM
The odorous old man wrote free verse
But was taken away in a hearse
while a man in a bonnet
recited a sonnet
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 22, 2008, 08:50:37 AM
The odorous old man wrote free verse
But was taken away in a hearse
while a man in a bonnet
recited a sonnet
in praise of the iambic curse.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 22, 2008, 08:51:53 AM
I say this is all rather fun
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Amie on April 22, 2008, 09:03:37 AM
I say this is all rather fun
this whimsical use of bad pun
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 22, 2008, 09:34:53 AM
I say this is all rather fun
this whimsical use of bad pun
exceeding amusing
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 22, 2008, 09:46:34 AM
I say this is all rather fun
this whimsical use of bad pun
exceeding amusing
But I prefer boozing
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 22, 2008, 10:03:29 AM
I say this is all rather fun
this whimsical use of bad pun
exceeding amusing
But I prefer boozing
whilst reading the poems of John Donne
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 22, 2008, 10:05:19 AM
John Donne was a mate of Jim Dim
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on April 22, 2008, 01:08:20 PM
John Donne was a mate of Jim Dim
Who were both exceedingly slim
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 22, 2008, 01:10:26 PM
John Donne was a mate of Jim Dim
Who were both exceedingly slim
'Til they met Mr. Kipling
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 22, 2008, 01:40:27 PM
John Donne was a mate of Jim Dim
Who were both exceedingly slim
'Til they met Mr. Kipling
who set paunches rippling
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 22, 2008, 08:04:32 PM
John Donne was a mate of Jim Dim
Who were both exceedingly slim
'Til they met Mr. Kipling
who set paunches rippling
with the naughtiest tales about Kim   




Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on April 22, 2008, 08:18:45 PM
The writer's mind went blank
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 23, 2008, 03:32:30 AM
The writer's mind went blank
As his head was squashed flat by a tank
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Amie on April 23, 2008, 04:56:10 AM
The writer's mind went blank
As his head was squashed flat by a tank.
- Well, not blank, but a mess
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 23, 2008, 05:08:35 AM
The writer's mind went blank
As his head was squashed flat by a tank.
- Well, not blank, but a mess
Wasn’t looking I guess
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 23, 2008, 07:07:25 AM
The writer's mind went blank
As his head was squashed flat by a tank.
- Well, not blank, but a mess
Wasn’t looking I guess
he was probably having a bath.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Amie on April 23, 2008, 07:10:57 AM
Although 'bath' and 'blank' do not rhyme
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 23, 2008, 07:36:08 AM
Poor poor Saturnine, so innocent, so naïve.
It’s quite touching.

Meanwhile, Citabria looks on, sniggering and smirking
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Amie on April 23, 2008, 07:42:42 AM
Doh!

Although 'bath' and 'blank' do not rhyme
Their hidden intent is sublime
to those prone to smut
but with no chance to rut
'cause ...

(finish this for me lads)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 23, 2008, 08:46:19 AM
Although 'bath' and 'blank' do not rhyme
Their hidden intent is sublime
to those prone to smut
but with no chance to rut
'cause they’re aliens and covered in slime.
‘cause they’re locked up for serious crime.
‘cause they’re living in sin with a mime.
‘cause they’re ringing the hourly chime.
‘cause the ladies are too scared to try’em.
with that saucy young minx Saturnine.

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on April 23, 2008, 11:42:03 AM
Good old St George the dragon slayer
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on April 23, 2008, 12:27:44 PM
Good old St. George the dragon slayer
Promised to kill his quarry on a dare
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 23, 2008, 02:12:10 PM
Good old St. George the dragon slayer
Promised to kill his quarry on a dare
So he plunged in his lance
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 23, 2008, 07:22:35 PM
Good old St. George the dragon slayer
Promised to kill his quarry on a dare
So he plunged in his lance
But by dreadful mischance   :o
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 23, 2008, 10:38:23 PM
Good old St. George the dragon slayer
Promised to kill his quarry on a dare
So he plunged in his lance
But by dreadful mischance   
Merely dented the external layer.


An angry dragon named Boris
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on April 23, 2008, 10:53:42 PM
An angry dragon named Boris
Panting and snorting in chorus
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 23, 2008, 11:19:43 PM
An angry dragon named Boris
Panting and snorting in chorus
Breathed fire and smoke
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: chillies on April 24, 2008, 03:08:00 AM
An angry dragon named Boris
Panting and snorting in chorus
Breathed fire and smoke
and told the odd joke
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on April 24, 2008, 08:16:40 AM
An angry dragon named Boris
Panting and snorting in chorus
Breathed fire and smoke
and told the odd joke
Fell in love with a dancer called Morris


Morris dancing is all sticks and bells
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 24, 2008, 08:24:07 AM
Morris dancing is all sticks and bells
He trots it with Liverpool swells
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on April 24, 2008, 11:07:00 AM
Morris dancing is all sticks and bells
He trots it with Liverpool swells
Whilst jumping and skipping
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on April 24, 2008, 04:38:47 PM
Morris dancing is all sticks and bells
He trots it with Liverpool swells
Whilst jumping and skipping
and now and then slipping
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 25, 2008, 02:24:06 AM
Morris dancing is all sticks and bells
He trots it with Liverpool swells
Whilst jumping and skipping
and now and then slipping
they dance like three legged gazelles.

The fireman stood, helmet in hand
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on April 25, 2008, 02:55:00 AM
The fireman stood, helmet in hand
And sang "The Black Velvet Band"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 25, 2008, 03:58:28 AM
The fireman stood, helmet in hand
And sang "The Black Velvet Band"
then, grabbing his hose
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 25, 2008, 04:11:52 AM
The fireman stood, helmet in hand
And sang "The Black Velvet Band"
then, grabbing his hose
he ripped off his clothes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 25, 2008, 04:27:40 AM
The fireman stood, helmet in hand
And sang "The Black Velvet Band"
then, grabbing his hose
he ripped off his clothes
And cried ‘I win, now where’s my ten grand?’
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 25, 2008, 04:29:57 AM
Two floozies whilst strutting their stuff
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on April 25, 2008, 04:36:57 AM
Two floozies whilst strutting their stuff
decided that they'd had enough
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 25, 2008, 04:58:50 AM
Two floozies whilst strutting their stuff
decided that they'd had enough
They just couldn’t pull
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 25, 2008, 06:37:09 AM
Two floozies whilst strutting their stuff
decided that they'd had enough
They just couldn’t pull
All that raveling wool
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 25, 2008, 07:45:47 AM
Two floozies whilst strutting their stuff
decided that they'd had enough
They just couldn’t pull
All that raveling wool
While bouncing around in the buff.

They got dressed and went to the mall
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 25, 2008, 07:49:35 AM
They got dressed and went to the mall,
saw a Juggler with only one ball
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 25, 2008, 07:51:13 AM
They got dressed and went to the mall,
saw a Juggler with only one ball
--But how can he do it?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on April 25, 2008, 07:58:40 AM
They got dressed and went to the mall
saw a juggler with only one ball
..but how can he do it?
 he needed 2 for full kit
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 25, 2008, 08:04:06 AM
They got dressed and went to the mall
saw a juggler with only one ball
..but how can he do it?
 he needed 2 for a kit   
Or three if you’re 'Three Ball' McCall!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 25, 2008, 08:20:44 AM
Three Ball McCall had a calling
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 25, 2008, 08:25:33 AM
Three Ball McCall had a calling
To set up a sport he called Balling
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on April 25, 2008, 09:03:12 AM
Three Bal McCall had a calling
To set up a sport he called Balling
smooth and round was the game
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 25, 2008, 09:09:56 AM
Three Ball McCall had a calling
To set up a sport he called Balling
smooth and round was the game
And it quickly became
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on April 25, 2008, 12:01:10 PM
Three Ball McCall had a calling
Tp set up a sport he called Balling
smooth and round was the game
And it quickly became
Lotsa fun with nobody stalling


I love wriggling my toes in soft sand
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 25, 2008, 06:45:57 PM

I love wriggling my toes in soft sand
In the desert at old Samarkand
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 25, 2008, 08:50:23 PM
I love wriggling my toes in soft sand
In the desert at old Samarkand
'Til the sand fleas attack
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 26, 2008, 06:11:56 AM

I love wriggling my toes in soft sand
In the desert at old Samarkand
'Til the sand fleas attack
Have my toes as a snack
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 26, 2008, 10:25:35 AM
I love wriggling my toes in soft sand
In the desert at old Samarkand
'Til the sand fleas attack
Have my toes as a snack
Then dance off with the Dixieland Band.


A trumpet player named Willie

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 26, 2008, 11:09:44 AM
A trumpet player named Willie
lost his mouthpiece and felt rather silly
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 26, 2008, 04:05:18 PM
A trumpet player named Willie
lost his mouthpiece and felt rather silly
He couldn't well toot
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 26, 2008, 05:49:41 PM
A trumpet player named Willie
lost his mouthpiece and felt rather silly
He couldn't well toot
So he used a flute
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 26, 2008, 06:23:36 PM
A trumpet player named Willie
lost his mouthpiece and felt rather silly
He couldn't well toot
So he used a flute
To charm all the snakes out of Delhi


(Ok, so it's a stretch.  I've been alternating between planting my garden and working on Miss Bubba, gimme a break.)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 27, 2008, 12:15:27 AM
Quote
(Ok, so it's a stretch.  I've been alternating between planting my garden and working on Miss Bubba, gimme a break.)

Actually, I rather liked that ending.  Unfortunately, in your anxiety to get back to that stuff you're growing, you failed to give us another limerick.


While Solitaire planted her garden
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 27, 2008, 06:11:08 AM
While Solitaire planted her garden
She was not in the MWC Bar, then
That place is chock full
of Codfish and Bull . . .
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 27, 2008, 08:29:48 AM
While Solitaire planted her garden
She was not in the MWC Bar, then
That place is chock full
of Codfish and Bull . . .
from yokels unable to harden.  :)


Wee Willie went wandering west
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on April 27, 2008, 10:34:47 AM
Wee Willie went wandering west
In just socks and a large string vest
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on April 27, 2008, 01:17:34 PM
Wee Willie went wandering west
In just socks and a large string vest.
Whilst riding his steed
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: chillies on April 27, 2008, 02:42:34 PM
Wee Willie went wandering west
In just socks and a large string vest.
Whilst riding his steed
All the locals agreed
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on April 27, 2008, 03:44:28 PM
Wee Willie went wandering west
In just socks and a large string vest
Whilst riding his steed
All the locals agreed
He showed of his assets with zest!

Im casting my thermals aside

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 27, 2008, 03:58:53 PM

Im casting my thermals aside
My assets I'll no longer hide
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 27, 2008, 06:50:01 PM
Im casting my thermals aside
My assets I'll no longer hide
I'm barely discreet
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 28, 2008, 03:49:50 AM
I’m casting my thermals aside
My assets I'll no longer hide
I'm barely discreet
You can peek at my feet
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on April 28, 2008, 05:34:26 AM
I’m casting my thermals aside
My assets I'll no longer hide
I'm barely discreet
You can peek at my feet
As I swim with the incoming tide
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on April 28, 2008, 08:55:03 AM
Skinny dipping is something I like
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 28, 2008, 09:26:54 AM
Skinny dipping is something I like
And I never wear a stitch on my bike
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on April 28, 2008, 06:01:15 PM
Skinny dipping is something I like
And I never wear a stitch on my bike
Only lipstick and rings
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on April 28, 2008, 06:06:31 PM
Skinny dipping is something I like
And I never wear a stictch on my bike
Only lipstick and rings
Are the only visible things
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 29, 2008, 03:51:56 AM
Skinny dipping is something I like
And I never wear a stitch on my bike
Only lipstick and rings
Are the visible things
Plus some PVC boots when I hike
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 29, 2008, 05:22:49 AM
Those rubber boots tickle my tootsies
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 29, 2008, 05:38:08 AM
Those rubber boots tickle my tootsies
and my thighs - for they’re very long bootsies!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 29, 2008, 05:41:31 AM
Those rubber boots tickle my tootsies
and my thighs - for they’re very long bootsies!
Do they tickle my tummy?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 29, 2008, 05:45:35 AM
Those rubber boots tickle my tootsies
and my thighs - for they’re very long bootsies!
Do they tickle my tummy?
No they’re THIGH LENGTH you dummy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on April 29, 2008, 05:54:55 AM
Those rubber boots tickle my tootsies
and my thighs - for they’re very long bootsies!
Do they tickle my tummy?
No they’re THIGH LENGTH you dummy
But they charged me for WADERS, those frootzies!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 29, 2008, 06:09:00 AM
Those Frootzies are not to be trusted
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Narnian Prince on April 29, 2008, 07:14:00 AM
Those Frootzies are not to be trusted
In time, they're sure to be busted
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 29, 2008, 03:56:02 PM
Those Frootzies are not to be trusted
In time, they're sure to be busted
They'll spend time in jail
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Narnian Prince on April 29, 2008, 04:26:29 PM
Those Frootzies are not to be trusted
In time, they're sure to be busted
They'll spend time in jail
Without posting bail
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 29, 2008, 09:40:19 PM
Those Frootzies are not to be trusted
In time, they're sure to be busted
They'll spend time in jail
Without posting bail
Leaving those Frootzies disgusted


A Narnian Prince name of Chris
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 30, 2008, 04:34:28 AM
A Narnian Prince name of Chris
went into a wardrobe to piss
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 30, 2008, 05:11:39 AM
A Narnian Prince name of Chris
went into a wardrobe to piss
But he wazzed on a faun
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 30, 2008, 05:49:11 AM
A Narnian Prince name of Chris
went into a wardrobe to piss
But he wazzed on a faun
In the midst of a yawn
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on April 30, 2008, 06:37:42 AM
A Narnian Prince name of Chris
went into a wardrobe to piss
But he wazzed on a faun
In the midst of a yawn
At that range it was difficult to miss
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 30, 2008, 07:00:01 AM
Mr Tumnis was somewhat disgruntled
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 30, 2008, 07:13:08 AM
Mr Tumnis was somewhat disgruntled
Because his garden had been left untilled
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Narnian Prince on April 30, 2008, 07:19:04 AM
Mr Tumnis was somewhat disgruntled
Because his garden had been left untilled
He called out for a bucket



(don86usa?  I'm not sure about the 'untilled' part in here...)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on April 30, 2008, 11:14:13 AM
Mr Tumnis was somewhat disgruntled
Because his garden had been left untilled
He called out for a bucket
Kicked it and said "Oh pluck it!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 30, 2008, 02:07:10 PM
Mr Tumnis was somewhat disgruntled
Because his garden had been left untilled
He called out for a bucket
Kicked it and said "Oh pluck it!
This gardening is no longer fun-filled."


Chris....Adj. 1. untilled - not plowed or harrowed or hoed; "untilled land"
unploughed, unplowed, unbroken - (of farmland) not plowed; "unplowed fields"; "unbroken land"

If you were a transplanted New Yorker living in Connecticut, untilled would rhyme with disgruntled.


A miserly wordsmith named Harry



Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on April 30, 2008, 03:48:38 PM
A miserly wordsmith named Harry
his dictionary decided to marry
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Narnian Prince on April 30, 2008, 04:00:18 PM
A miserly wordsmith named Harry
His dictionary decided to marry
The vows were in Greek
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on April 30, 2008, 04:22:52 PM
A miserly wordsmith named Harry
His dictionary decided to marry
The vows were in Greek
Which no one could speak
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: chillies on May 01, 2008, 02:56:37 AM
A miserly wordsmith named Harry
His dictionary decided to marry
The vows were in Greek
Which no one could speak
So the ceremony did tarry and tarry

A monkey of refined upbringing

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 01, 2008, 02:57:38 AM
A monkey of refined upbringing
Had a night of dancing and singing
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 01, 2008, 04:49:30 AM
A monkey of refined upbringing
Had a night of dancing and singing
twas 'Swan Lake' round a pole
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 01, 2008, 07:16:13 AM
A monkey of refined upbringing
Had a night of dancing and singing
Twas 'Swan Lake' round a pole
Until he fell in a deep hole
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on May 01, 2008, 08:39:43 AM
A monkey of refined upbringing
Had a night of dancing and singing
Twas 'Swan Lake' round a pole
Until he fell in a deep hole
Which set his fool monkey-head ringing


Sometimes a limerick is naughty
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on May 01, 2008, 11:07:05 AM
Sometimes a limerick is naughty
To the well-bred, prim or haughty
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 01, 2008, 11:44:53 AM
Sometimes a limerick is naughty
To the well-bred, prim or haughty.
Sometimes just a frolic
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on May 01, 2008, 12:21:21 PM
Sometimes a limerick is naughty
To the well-bred, prim or haughty.
Sometimes just a frolic
Serene; bucolic
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on May 02, 2008, 08:26:24 AM
Sometimes a limerick is naughty
To the well-bred, prim or haughty.
Sometimes just a frolic
Serene; bucolic
Other times food for the doughty.


The last line was dreadful, I know . . .
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on May 02, 2008, 10:30:18 AM
The last line was dreadful, I know . . .
So sue me.  I'm tired and slow
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 02, 2008, 10:52:42 AM
The last line was dreadful, I know . . .
So sue me.  I'm tired and slow
'though perhaps a good kicking
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 02, 2008, 11:34:53 AM
The last line was dreadful, I know . . .
So sue me.  I'm tired and slow
'though perhaps a good kicking
with lots of boot licking
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 02, 2008, 12:00:55 PM
The last line was dreadful, I know . . .
So sue me.  I'm tired and I'm slow
'though perhaps a good kicking
with lots of boot licking
will get me to write like a pro.

A fisherman's friends from Padstow
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on May 02, 2008, 12:19:52 PM
A fisherman's friends from Padstow
Had illegal nets stowed below
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on May 03, 2008, 03:09:06 AM
A fisherman's friends from Padstow
Had illegal nets stowed below
Then gold treasure they had trawled
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 03, 2008, 05:14:35 AM
A fisherman's friends from Padstow
Had illegal nets stowed below
Then gold treasure they had trawled
'fore the Customs men called
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on May 03, 2008, 06:04:38 AM
A fisherman's friends from Padstow
Had illegal nets stowed below
Then gold treasure they had trawled
'fore the Customs men called
And took those Padstow boys in tow.


The judge said, "There will be no bail,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 03, 2008, 06:15:46 AM
The judge said, "There will be no bail,
and you weeping was to no avail."
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 03, 2008, 06:22:39 AM
The judge said, "There will be no bail,
and you weeping was to no avail."
"Tis jail for you dreckly."
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on May 03, 2008, 07:14:34 AM
The judge said, "There will be no bail,
and you weeping was to no avail."
"Tis jail for you dreckly,
'Cause you can't expect me
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 03, 2008, 10:51:16 AM
The judge said, "There will be no bail,
and you weeping was to no avail.
Tis jail for you dreckly,
'Cause you can't expect me
to forgive you for raping that snail."
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 03, 2008, 12:31:03 PM

to forgive you for raping that snail."


Can't resist playing with the stereotype...  Did try...  A little ;-)

"Twasn't easy, yer Honour.  Took me nearly all day to catch up with the little bugger."

There once was a man who raped snails...
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on May 03, 2008, 12:51:34 PM
The judge said, "There will be no bail,
For taking treasure you are bound to fail
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on May 03, 2008, 02:25:58 PM
Quote
The judge said, "There will be no bail,
For taking treasure you are bound to fail

Psssst, Lin, you missed a page.


There once was a man who raped snails...
And ate broken glass and chewed nails.

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 03, 2008, 02:36:02 PM
There once was a man who raped snails...
And ate broken glass and chewed nails.
But worse than all that
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 03, 2008, 05:01:33 PM
There once was a man who raped snails...
And ate broken glass and chewed nails.
But worse than all that
he buggered the cat (well, someone had to say it)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 03, 2008, 05:13:47 PM
There once was a man who raped snails...
And ate broken glass and chewed nails.
But worse than all that
he buggered the cat
whilst scoffing a plate of entrails.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 03, 2008, 05:48:55 PM
That last line was truly revolting
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on May 03, 2008, 05:55:32 PM
That last line was truly revolting
"Get the mods" said Lin truly gloating
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 03, 2008, 06:03:39 PM
That last line was truly revolting
"Get the mods" said Lin truly gloating
"Fetch Paul with his sword
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on May 03, 2008, 06:16:42 PM
That last line was truly revolting
"Get the mods" said Lin truly gloating
"Fetch Paul with his sword;
That comment's untoward
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 03, 2008, 11:57:12 PM
That last line was truly revolting
"Get the mods" said Lin truly gloating
"Fetch Paul with his sword;
That comment's untoward
Whilst a Chivas Regal she was toting

The Red_Barren had drunk up a storm
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on May 04, 2008, 12:25:47 AM
The Red_Barren had drunk up a storm.
"Done yet?  Why I'm just getting warm."
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on May 04, 2008, 06:38:07 AM
The Red_Barren had drunk up a storm.
"Done yet?  Why I'm just getting warm.
If it's liquid I'll drink it
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on May 04, 2008, 11:01:31 AM
The Red_Barren had drunk up a storm.
"Done yet?  Why I'm just getting warm.
If it's liquid I'll drink it,
Then pawn my best trinket
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on May 04, 2008, 01:15:54 PM
The Red_Barren had drunk up a storm
"Done yet?Why I'm just getting warm
If it's liquid I'll drink it
Then pawn my best trinket
and maybe buy an Alpaka farm


Yak butter beer is tasty they say
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on May 04, 2008, 02:08:28 PM
Yak butter beer is tasty they say
Miss Ellie drinks it both night and both day
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 04, 2008, 06:07:11 PM
Yak butter beer is tasty they say
Miss Ellie drinks it both night and both day
Though she hates constipation
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on May 04, 2008, 07:26:48 PM
Yak butter beer is tasty they say;
Miss Ellie drinks it both night and day.
Though she hates constipation,
This non-stop inflation
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 04, 2008, 11:07:09 PM
Yak butter beer is tasty they say;
Miss Ellie drinks it both night and day.
Though she hates constipation,
This non-stop inflation
Will soon have her rolling in the hay


Wierdo the pimp was making his rounds
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on May 05, 2008, 07:59:02 PM
Wierdo the pimp was making his rounds
Accompanied by his posh Afghan Hounds
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 05, 2008, 10:04:06 PM
Wierdo the pimp was making his rounds
Accompanied by his posh Afghan Hounds
When lost in a fog
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on May 05, 2008, 10:06:01 PM
Wierdo the pimp was making his rounds
Accompanied by his posh Afghan Hounds.
When lost in a fog,
The girls sent a blog
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 05, 2008, 10:33:04 PM
Wierdo the pimp was making his rounds
Accompanied by his posh Afghan Hounds.
When lost in a fog,
The girls sent a blog
Of the strange little man in the lost and founds.

Don86usa was having quite a time
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on May 06, 2008, 03:06:08 AM
Don86usa was having quite a time
Looking for words in limericks to make them ryhme
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 06, 2008, 03:24:40 AM
Don86usa was having quite a time
Looking for words in limericks to make them ryhme
When Lin dropped by to give him a nudge
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: redmeat73 on May 06, 2008, 09:25:25 AM
Don86usa was having quite a time
Looking for words in limericks to make them ryhme
When Lin dropped by to give him a nudge
the door wouldn’t move, it refused to budge
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 06, 2008, 05:00:55 PM
Don86usa was having quite a time
Looking for words in limericks to make them ryhme
When Lin dropped by to give him a nudge
the door wouldn’t move, it refused to budge
when a man in a green coat burst in, gave us an award for the worst limerick ever written, then slipped in some slime.

An egregious old poacher named Bill
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 06, 2008, 05:37:20 PM
An egregious old poacher named Bill
Was looking for a quick little thrill
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 06, 2008, 07:20:57 PM
An egregious old poacher named Bill
Was looking for a quick little thrill
so he tickled a Trout
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 06, 2008, 07:23:50 PM
An egregious old poacher named Bill
Was looking for a quick little thrill
so he tickled a Trout
only to be caught out
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 07, 2008, 04:06:13 AM
An egregious old poacher named Bill
Was looking for a quick little thrill
so he tickled a Trout
only to be caught out
when the gamekeeper marched up the hill.

The gamekeeper's name it was Hunt
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 07, 2008, 04:09:38 AM
The gamekeeper's name it was Hunt
And his T-shirt said “Tw@t” on the front.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 07, 2008, 04:30:14 AM
The gamekeeper's name it was Hunt
And his T-shirt said “Tw@t” on the front.
On the back was 'Please shoot me'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 07, 2008, 05:09:34 AM
The gamekeeper's name it was Hunt
And his T-shirt said “Tw@t” on the front.
On the back was 'Please shoot me'
He said: ‘This doesn’t suit me’
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: redmeat73 on May 07, 2008, 05:27:58 AM
The gamekeeper's name it was Hunt
And his T-shirt said “Tw@t” on the front.
On the back was 'Please shoot me'
He said: ‘This doesn’t suit me’
Don't blame me it's only a stunt


I loved to read comics as a kid.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 07, 2008, 06:48:59 AM
I loved to read comics as a kid.
Especially about poets named Sid
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on May 07, 2008, 01:50:14 PM

I loved to read comics as a kid.
Especially about poets named Sid
If you log on to Google



http://www.google.co.uk/search?source=ig&hl=en&rlz=1G1GGLQ_ENUK274&q=Poets+named+Sid&btnG=Google+Search&meta=

You will see this line on Limerick Addicts on Google as above
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 08, 2008, 05:58:56 AM
I loved to read comics as a kid.
Especially about poets named Sid
If you log on to Google
and search for a bugle
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 08, 2008, 06:44:08 AM
I loved to read comics as a kid.
Especially about poets named Sid
If you log on to Google
and search for a bugle
You’ll go off on a tangent like Lin did
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 08, 2008, 07:03:45 AM
A micrometre is really handy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 08, 2008, 07:09:52 AM
A micrometre is really handy
When you’re reading the Beano or Dandy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 08, 2008, 07:13:06 AM
A micrometre is really handy
When you’re reading the Beano or Dandy
You can measure the girth
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 08, 2008, 07:33:31 AM
A micrometer is really handy
When you’re reading the Beano or Dandy
You can measure the girth
And fair judge their worth
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 08, 2008, 07:58:06 AM
A micrometer is really handy
When you’re reading the Beano or Dandy
You can measure the girth
And fair judge their worth
As you leer at Milly Molly Mandy   
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 08, 2008, 08:05:12 AM
‘That’s shocking’ said Mrs Malone   
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 08, 2008, 08:11:59 AM
‘That’s shocking’ said Mrs Malone   
As she found herself all alone
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 08, 2008, 10:38:13 AM
‘That’s shocking’ said Mrs Malone   
As she found herself all alone
with a barrow of fish
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 08, 2008, 11:23:52 AM
That’s shocking’ said Mrs Malone   
As she found herself all alone
with a barrow of fish
and some whelks in a dish
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 08, 2008, 12:22:52 PM
That’s shocking’ said Mrs Malone   
As she found herself all alone
with a barrow of fish
and some whelks in a dish
and one very dead Abalone.

Young Molly Malone was a tart
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 08, 2008, 12:52:05 PM
Young Molly Malone was a tart
she gave demonic head to Descartes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on May 08, 2008, 01:19:49 PM
Young Molly Malone was a tart;
she gave demonic head to Descartes.
A spasmodic fit
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 08, 2008, 01:39:51 PM
Young Molly Malone was a tart;
she gave demonic head to Descartes.
A spasmodic fit
shook her left tit
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 09, 2008, 04:22:59 AM
Young Molly Malone was a tart;
she gave demonic head to Descartes.
A spasmodic fit
shook her left tit
And the onlookers said it was Art
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 09, 2008, 04:35:03 AM
She was sat on a cactus and howling
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 09, 2008, 05:25:15 AM
‘She was sat on a cactus and howling’
- he recalled and typed hurriedly, scowling
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 09, 2008, 05:43:56 AM
‘She was sat on a cactus and howling’
- he recalled and typed hurriedly, scowling
There was one little prick
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 09, 2008, 06:02:33 AM
 ‘She was sat on a cactus and howling’
- he recalled and typed hurriedly, scowling
There was one little prick
(nicknamed Tiny Knob Nick)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 09, 2008, 06:14:30 AM
‘She was sat on a cactus and howling’
- he recalled and typed hurriedly, scowling
There was one little prick
(nicknamed Tiny Knob Nick)
who wrote heinous rhymes while out prowling.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 09, 2008, 06:26:05 AM
Whilst widdling over the side
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 09, 2008, 06:59:49 AM
Whilst widdling over the side
my chest started filling with pride
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 09, 2008, 07:16:44 AM
Whilst widdling over the side
my chest started filling with pride
But a passing Manx lugger
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on May 09, 2008, 08:17:02 AM
Whilst widdling over the side
my chest started filling with pride
But a passing Manx lugger
Showed off with his bladder
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on May 10, 2008, 12:22:17 PM
Whilst widdling over the side
my chest started filling with pride
But a passing Manx lugger
Showed off with his bladder
So I gave up, sat down and just cried

A tiger-like cat came a prowling
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 11, 2008, 12:50:41 AM
A tiger-like cat came a prowling
All the while snarling and growling
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 11, 2008, 04:50:02 AM
A tiger-like cat came a prowling
All the while snarling and growling
I seized hold of his tail
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 11, 2008, 04:52:10 AM
A tiger-like cat came a prowling
All the while snarling and growling
I seized hold of his tail
And he let out a wail
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on May 11, 2008, 05:22:28 AM
A tiger-like cat came a prowling
All the while snarling and growling
I seized hold of his tail
And he let out a wail
So I covered him up with some towelling

An out of space creature named Chak
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on May 11, 2008, 08:13:21 AM
An out of space creature named Chak
Hurtled to earth with a thwack
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 11, 2008, 08:47:45 AM
An out of space creature named Chak
Hurtled to earth with a thwack.
He lay in a crater
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 11, 2008, 09:04:04 AM
An out of space creature named Chak
Hurtled to earth with a thwack.
He lay in a crater
'til several days later
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 11, 2008, 09:53:28 AM
An out of space creature named Chak
Hurtled to earth with a thwack.
He lay in a crater
'til several days later
Slack Chak was attacked by Man-Pac
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on May 12, 2008, 12:34:18 AM
They took Mother out on a hike
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 12, 2008, 04:46:27 AM
They took Mother out on a hike
Then left her with Mad Mountain Mike
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 12, 2008, 09:51:18 AM
They took Mother out on a hike
Then left her with Mad Mountain Mike
Now Mike was a nutter
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 12, 2008, 09:53:04 AM
They took Mother out on a hike
Then left her with Mad Mountain Mike
Now Mike was a nutter
with a terrible st..stutter
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 12, 2008, 10:00:40 AM
They took Mother out on a hike
Then left her with Mad Mountain Mike
Now Mike was a nutter
with a terrible st..stutter
that's why Mike and Mum are alike.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 12, 2008, 10:09:14 AM
He gave a spectacular lunge
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 12, 2008, 10:33:42 AM
He gave a spectacular lunge
and grabbed hold of the Pontiff's new sponge
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 12, 2008, 03:31:55 PM
He gave a spectacular lunge
and grabbed hold of the Pontiff's new sponge
plus his 'Pope-On-A-Rope'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on May 13, 2008, 12:26:22 AM
He gave a spectacular lunge
and grabbed hold of the Pontiff's new sponge
plus his 'Pope-On-A-Rope'
and miss use of dope
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 13, 2008, 03:53:56 AM
He gave a spectacular lunge
and grabbed hold of the Pontiff's new sponge
plus his 'Pope-On-A-Rope'
and miss use of dope
And he called it the Soapy Rope Dopey Pope Plunge.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 13, 2008, 04:30:10 AM
While constructing a nice little shrine
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on May 13, 2008, 04:48:06 AM
While constructing a nice little shrine
To my hamster who died on March nine
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 13, 2008, 05:05:57 AM
While constructing a nice little shrine
To my hamster who died on March nine
I wailed in anguish
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 13, 2008, 05:25:20 AM
While constructing a nice little shrine
To my hamster who died on March nine
I wailed in anguish
and did bitterly languish
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 13, 2008, 05:55:10 AM
While constructing a nice little shrine
to my hamster who died on March nine
I wailed in anguish
and did bitterly languish
on the spot where he’d stepped on a mine
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 13, 2008, 06:01:20 AM
He donated his organs to science
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 13, 2008, 06:21:40 AM
He donated his organs to science
To be used in some useful appliance
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 13, 2008, 06:28:49 AM
He donated his organs to science
To be used in some useful appliance
They found that his knob
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 13, 2008, 07:37:37 AM
He donated his organs to science
To be used in some useful appliance
They found that his knob
made an excellent job
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 13, 2008, 07:59:32 AM
He donated his organs to science
To be used in some useful appliance
They found that his knob
made an excellent job
in the Anglo-French pogo alliance.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 14, 2008, 05:35:08 AM
They say he’s not right in the head
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 14, 2008, 06:27:13 AM
They say he’s not right in the head
which explains why, three times, he's been wed  :o
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 14, 2008, 06:52:40 AM
They say he’s not right in the head
which explains why, three times, he's been wed
He buries them at dawn
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 14, 2008, 07:11:24 AM
They say he’s not right in the head
which explains why, three times, he's been wed
He buries them at dawn
in a hole on the lawn
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 14, 2008, 08:29:52 AM
They say he’s not right in the head
which explains why, three times, he's been wed
He buries them at dawn
in a hole on the lawn
and then takes the next one to bed.
 

Computers are the work of The Devil
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 14, 2008, 08:37:18 AM
Computers are the work of the devil
Said cynical technophobe Neville 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 14, 2008, 08:55:03 AM
Computers are the work of the devil
Said cynical technophobe Neville
And the devil is mates
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 14, 2008, 08:58:42 AM
Computers are the work of the devil
Said cynical technophobe Neville
And the devil is mates
With that ****er Bill Gates
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on May 14, 2008, 03:11:34 PM
Computers are the work of the devil
Said cynical technophobe Neville
And the devil is mates
With that ****er Bill Gates
And I just don't compute on this level

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on May 14, 2008, 06:34:11 PM
The new tutor had such a thick beard
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on May 15, 2008, 02:45:12 AM
The new tutor had such a thick beard
The students thought he looked weird
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 15, 2008, 05:50:40 AM
The new tutor had such a thick beard
The students thought he looked weird
His pot bellied girth

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 15, 2008, 06:18:07 AM
The new tutor had such a thick beard
The students thought he looked weird
His pot bellied girth
Prompted ridicule and mirth
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 15, 2008, 06:29:13 AM
The new tutor had such a thick beard
The students thought he looked weird
His pot bellied girth
Prompted ridicule and mirth
"You're fat and you're hairy," they jeered.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 15, 2008, 06:34:24 AM
They told me you are what you eat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 15, 2008, 06:41:12 AM
They told me you are what you eat
which explains why you think I'm so sweet  :-*
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 15, 2008, 08:05:58 AM
They told me you are what you eat
which explains why you think I'm so sweet
But I only eat tripe
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on May 15, 2008, 11:25:17 AM
They told me you are what you eat
which explains why you think I'm so sweet
But I only eat tripe
or pears that are ripe
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on May 15, 2008, 12:22:37 PM
They told me you are what you eat
which explains why you think I'm so sweet
But I only eat tripe
or pears that are ripe
And my belly's like jelly - what a treat!!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on May 15, 2008, 04:37:04 PM
I love jelly babies,they're divine
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 16, 2008, 04:26:56 AM
I love jelly babies,they're divine
You can't have them, they're mine, mine, mine, MINE!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 16, 2008, 04:28:16 AM
I love jelly babies,they're divine
You can't have them, they're mine, mine, mine, MINE!
They were ripped from the tummies
Of their great jelly mummies
Who now lay on their sick beds and pine

Sorry, couldn’t resist.

Dark. Very dark
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 16, 2008, 04:32:14 AM
I remember my dear uncle slasher
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 16, 2008, 04:36:38 AM
I remember my dear uncle slasher
Who was known as the neighbourhood flasher
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on May 16, 2008, 05:25:37 AM
I remember my dear Uncle Slasher
Who was known as the neighbourhood flasher
He would shout "Oh! this sucks"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 16, 2008, 05:43:12 AM
I remember my dear Uncle Slasher
Who was known as the neighbourhood flasher
He would shout "Oh! this sucks,
When nobody looks”
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 17, 2008, 01:27:43 PM
I remember my dear Uncle Slasher
Who was known as the neighbourhood flasher
He would shout "Oh! this sucks,
When nobody looks”
It's a shame, coz it was quite a smasher.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 17, 2008, 01:29:41 PM
gayCHUBBYdating dot com
is a web site I never go on
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on May 17, 2008, 05:01:03 PM
gayCHUBBYdating dot com
is a web site I never go on
My neighbor went there
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 17, 2008, 05:26:48 PM
gayCHUBBYdating dot com
is a web site I rarely go on
My neighbor went there
and got such a scare
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 17, 2008, 05:29:15 PM
gayCHUBBYdating dot com
is a web site I rarely go on
My neighbor went there
and got such a scare
that he gave up on being une Homme ;-)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on May 17, 2008, 05:48:21 PM
Croque-monsieur is my favourite French lunch
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on May 17, 2008, 06:25:29 PM
Croque-monsieur is my favourite French lunch
I refuse to share it with my French bunch 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on May 18, 2008, 06:26:47 PM
Croque-monsieur is my favourite French lunch
I refuse to share it with my FRench bunch
Mmm all cheesy and ham
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 18, 2008, 06:32:41 PM
Croque-monsieur is my favourite French lunch
I refuse to share it with my FRench bunch
Mmm all cheesy and ham
Far nicer than spam
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on May 18, 2008, 07:13:39 PM
Croque-monsieur is my favourite French lunch
I refuse to share it with my French bunch
Mmm all cheesy and ham
Far nicer than spam
I like it toasted with a delicate crunch
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on May 19, 2008, 05:50:14 AM
I dated a man in the church
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 19, 2008, 05:57:08 AM
I dated a man in the church
- a cross between Igor and Lurch
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 19, 2008, 06:05:27 AM
I dated a man in the church
- a cross between Igor and Lurch
It thrilled me to bits
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 19, 2008, 06:09:55 AM
I dated a man in the church
- a cross between Igor and Lurch
It thrilled me to bits
When he lunged for my tits
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 19, 2008, 06:38:59 AM
I dated a man in the church
- a cross between Igor and Lurch
It thrilled me to bits
When he lunged for my tits:
but they're small, so he may have to search.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 19, 2008, 06:56:43 AM
Whilst exhuming a corpse on the heath
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 19, 2008, 07:09:17 AM
Whilst exhuming a corpse on the heath
and intending to steal his gold teeth
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 19, 2008, 07:13:36 AM
Whilst exhuming a corpse on the heath
and intending to steal his gold teeth
I could not resist
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on May 19, 2008, 07:50:09 AM
Whilst exhuming a corpse on the heath
and intending to steal his gold teeth
I could not resist
At the time I was drunk
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 19, 2008, 08:23:30 AM
Whilst exhuming a corpse on the heath
and intending to steal his gold teeth
I could not resist
At the time I was drunk
Slipping on my trusty old sheath
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 19, 2008, 08:41:28 AM
Whilst burying a hag on the moor
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 19, 2008, 08:52:45 AM
Whilst burying a hag on the moor
(I’d dragged the old bag from the sewer)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 19, 2008, 09:07:07 AM
Whilst burying a hag on the moor
(I’d dragged the old bag from the sewer)
I decided I'd pause
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 19, 2008, 09:20:47 AM
Whilst burying a hag on the moor
(I’d dragged the old bag from the sewer)
I decided I'd pause
To check local by-laws
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 19, 2008, 09:46:01 AM
Whilst burying a hag on the moor
(I’d dragged the old bag from the sewer)
I decided I'd pause
To check local by-laws
re the dumping of slappers and whores.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: CarrieSheppard on May 19, 2008, 01:56:48 PM
Hey Cit - where's the first line of the next limerick??
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 19, 2008, 04:04:33 PM
Sorry, can't resist it...

But first lines are not de rigeur
although a good start that is sure.
If you start with the second
it's generally reckoned
your limerick will be pretty poor.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 19, 2008, 04:17:13 PM
Gyppo

That is true; but I would like to give Carrie one.  8) So here it is ...

There's a hair on my g-string said Bach
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on May 19, 2008, 06:37:55 PM
There's a hair on my G-string said Bach
"I left it there just for a lark"  :P
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 19, 2008, 06:55:20 PM
There's a hair on my G-string said Bach
"I left it there just for a lark"
Then I bowed Carrie's Bass
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on May 20, 2008, 01:52:37 AM
There's a hair on my G-string said Bach
"I left it there just for a lark"
Then I bowed Carrie's Bass
A limber, sweet lass
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 20, 2008, 03:43:01 AM
There's a hair on my G-string said Bach
"I left it there just for a lark"
Then I bowed Carrie's Bass
A limber, sweet lass (surely some mistake)
Then I bowed her some more in the park
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 20, 2008, 05:12:14 AM
She claims that she has a brown thumb
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 20, 2008, 05:24:11 AM
She claims that she has a brown thumb
A sign of great portent for some
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 20, 2008, 07:25:39 AM
She claims that she has a brown thumb
A sign of great portent for some
but gardeners hate it
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 20, 2008, 07:32:34 AM
She claims that she has a brown thumb
A sign of great portent for some
But gardeners hate it
And will not debate it
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 20, 2008, 09:43:17 AM
She claims that she has a brown thumb
A sign of great portent for some
But gardeners hate it
And will not debate it
The intolerant, green-fingered scum
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 20, 2008, 09:49:37 AM
I've eaten ten curries this week
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on May 20, 2008, 09:52:38 AM
I've eaten ten curries this week
Followed by ice cream a la pique
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 20, 2008, 04:11:41 PM
I've eaten ten curries this week
Followed by ice cream a la pique
I washed it all down
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on May 20, 2008, 04:37:36 PM
I've eaten ten curries this week
Followed by ice cream a la pique
I washed it all down
with a Newcastle Brown
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 20, 2008, 04:47:33 PM
I've eaten ten curries this week
Followed by ice cream a la pique
I washed it all down
with a Newcastle Brown
Now I'm cooking some bubble n squeak.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 21, 2008, 12:03:40 AM
Pamela07 and FF have got me confused
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 21, 2008, 03:26:53 AM
Pamela07 and FF have got me confused
When I offered my bed they refused.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 21, 2008, 03:44:51 AM
Pamela07 and FF have got me confused
When I offered my bed they politely refused.
Good thing too noted my wife
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on May 21, 2008, 04:45:14 AM
Pamela07 and FF have got me confused
When I offered my bed they politely refused.
Good thing too noted my wife
They'd be trouble and strife
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 21, 2008, 04:58:14 AM
Pamela07 and FF have got me confused
When I offered my bed they refused.
"Good thing," too noted said my wife
"They'd be trouble and strife
and your cobblers would probably get bruised."
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 21, 2008, 08:28:54 AM
‘We could try number 7’ she said
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 21, 2008, 01:31:34 PM
‘We could try number 7’ she said
"It's a Merlot from chateau my shed."
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on May 21, 2008, 04:52:27 PM
"We could try number 7" she said
"It's a Merlot from chateau my shed"
The bouquet is divine
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 21, 2008, 04:56:57 PM
"We could try number 7" she said
"It's a Merlot from chateau my shed"
The bouquet is divine
For such a fine wine
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on May 21, 2008, 07:10:57 PM
We could try number 7" she said
"It's a Merlot from chateau my shed"
The bouquet is divine
For such a fine wine
It always goes right to my head!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 22, 2008, 02:51:34 AM
J Peasemold Gruntfuttock wept
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 22, 2008, 03:52:14 AM
J Peasemold Gruntfuttock wept
As into the brothel he crept
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 22, 2008, 04:51:22 AM
J Peasemold Gruntfuttock wept
As into the brothel he crept
In search of his gran
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 22, 2008, 04:57:25 AM
J Peasemold Gruntfuttock wept
As into the brothel he crept
In search of his gran
Who was defying a ban
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 22, 2008, 11:36:35 AM
J Peasemold Gruntfuttock wept
As into the brothel he crept
In search of his gran
Who was defying a ban
"BOO!" she said, as out she leapt.  :-[
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on May 22, 2008, 04:25:30 PM
(liked that last one fellas,  ;D)



In Algarve, a brothel is 'bordello'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 22, 2008, 05:19:08 PM
In Algarve, a brothel is 'bordello'
where horny men leave feeling mellow
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 22, 2008, 05:56:44 PM
In Algarve, a brothel is 'bordello'
where horny men leave feeling mellow
But Mellow said, "No!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on May 22, 2008, 06:03:23 PM
In Algarve, a brothel is 'bordello'
where horny men leave feeling mellow
But Mellow said, "No!
I won't be yo ho!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on May 22, 2008, 11:34:35 PM
In Algarve, a brothel is 'bordello'
where horny men leave feeling mellow
But Mellow said, "No!
I won't be yo ho!
Not even if you was Saul Bellow."

Mellow went home feeling proper,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 23, 2008, 02:03:36 AM
Mellow went home feeling proper
chuffed they'd admired his pink whopper
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 23, 2008, 03:59:33 AM
Mellow went home feeling proper
chuffed they'd admired his pink whopper
But a mix up in gender
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 23, 2008, 06:26:44 AM
Mellow went home feeling proper
chuffed they'd admired his pink whopper
But a mix up in gender
made the readers think "Bender!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 23, 2008, 08:26:20 AM
Mellow went home feeling proper
chuffed they'd admired his pink whopper
But a mix up in gender
made the readers think "Bender!"
And she’d grabbed it before he could stop her
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on May 23, 2008, 04:51:21 PM
Fireman Sam could not find his helmet
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on May 23, 2008, 11:35:20 PM
Fireman Sam could not find his helmet;
Separation may overwhelm it
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on May 24, 2008, 06:23:39 AM
Fireman Sam could not find his helmet;
Separation may overwhelm it
But Barney McGrew
At Trumpton he knew
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on May 24, 2008, 09:54:18 AM
Fireman Sam could not find his helmet;
Separation may overwhelm it
But Barney McGrew
At Trumpton he knew
It was treed; he'd have to de-elm it.

A buzzard sat high in the tree
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 24, 2008, 02:29:34 PM
A buzzard sat high in the tree
and mocked the corvine bourgeoisie
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on May 24, 2008, 03:04:02 PM
A buzzard sat high in the tree
and mocked the corvine bourgeoisie
Hungarian birds
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 24, 2008, 03:25:48 PM
A buzzard sat high in the tree
and mocked the corvine bourgeoisie
Hungarian birds
are to be preferred
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on May 24, 2008, 04:11:24 PM
A buzzard sat high in the tree
and mocked the corvine bourgeoisie.
Hungarian birds
are to be preferred
to the garden variety.

Supping on Hungarian crow

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: McWawa on May 25, 2008, 02:53:01 AM


Supping on Hungarian crow
Was a lady i'd like to know


Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on May 25, 2008, 03:26:36 AM
Supping on Hungarian crow
Was a lady i'd like to know
She 's an ornithologist
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on May 25, 2008, 09:03:21 AM
Supping on Hungarian crow
Was a lady i'd like to know
She 's an ornithologist
with a unique twist
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on May 25, 2008, 12:40:38 PM
Supping on Hungarian crow
Was a lady I'd like to know
She's an ornithologist
with a unique twist
She teaches long-necked geese how to sow

Hooded crows come in gangs around here
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 25, 2008, 01:42:11 PM
Hooded crows come in gangs around here
swooping down from the trees, spreading fear
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on May 25, 2008, 03:40:34 PM
Hooded crows come in gangs around here
swooping down from the trees, spreading fear
They build a huge nest
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on May 25, 2008, 04:36:23 PM
Hooded crows come in gangs around here
swooping down from the trees, spreading fear
They build a huge nest
From which they infest
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 26, 2008, 03:31:49 AM
Hooded crows come in gangs around here
swooping down from the trees, spreading fear
They build a huge nest
From which they infest
my string vest like a bird bandolier.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on May 26, 2008, 06:07:37 PM
String vests look better on women :-*
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on May 26, 2008, 10:56:02 PM
String vests look better on women
'Specially those who are swimmin'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 27, 2008, 03:56:15 AM
String vests look better on women
'Specially those who are swimmin'
Their 'nips' find the holes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 27, 2008, 06:12:11 AM
String vests look better on women
'Specially those who are swimmin'
Their 'nips' find the holes
like inquisitive moles

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on May 27, 2008, 04:18:29 PM
String vests look better on women
'Specially those who are swimmin'
Their 'nips' find the holes
like inquisitive moles
staring down at a quim that needs trimmin'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on May 27, 2008, 09:15:23 PM
Whenever the boys take over
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 28, 2008, 03:40:22 AM
Whenever the boys take over
I roll around nude in the clover
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 28, 2008, 10:29:45 AM
Whenever the boys take over
I roll around nude in the clover
an inelegant sight
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on May 28, 2008, 11:11:21 AM
Whenever the boys take over
I roll around nude in the clover
an inelegant sight
And try as I might
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on May 28, 2008, 12:29:39 PM
Whenever the boys take over
I roll around nude in the clover
an inelegant sight
and try as I might
I just can't help diving for cover

Thunder awoke me at early dawn
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on May 28, 2008, 10:29:38 PM
Thunder awoke me at early dawn
And I saw a big hole in my lawn
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: naturewalker on May 28, 2008, 11:47:56 PM
Thunder awoke me at early dawn
And I saw a big hole in my lawn
Instead of the grass
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on May 29, 2008, 12:40:14 AM
Thunder awoke me at early dawn
And I saw a big hole in my lawn
Instead of the grass
A four legged ass   :o
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Big T on May 29, 2008, 01:52:33 AM

Thunder awoke me at early dawn
And I saw a big hole in my lawn
Instead of the grass
A four legged ass   :o
looked at me all forlorn ...


because entries to the caption comp are below expectations! 2 days to go!

http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=14726.0



There was a brave dancer called Will
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 29, 2008, 04:06:14 AM
There was a brave dancer called Will
Who waltzed on a window sill
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 29, 2008, 04:57:08 AM
There was a brave dancer called Will
Who waltzed on a window sill
'tl he tripped on a bucket
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 29, 2008, 05:06:28 AM
There was a brave dancer called Will
Who waltzed on a window sill
'til he tripped on a bucket
And thought, Damn it, I’ll chuck it
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 29, 2008, 06:19:39 AM
There was a brave dancer called Will
Who waltzed on a window sill
'til he tripped on a bucket
And thought, Damn it, I’ll chuck it
and try that damned Gyppo to kill.

But Bold Gyppo he quickly did duck
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on May 29, 2008, 09:10:17 AM
But Bold Gyppo he quickly did duck
But then popped up again for a look
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on May 29, 2008, 11:44:21 AM
But bold Gyppo he quickly did duck
But then popped up again for a look
Then took out his lance
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on May 29, 2008, 03:36:29 PM
But bold Gyppo he quickly did duck
But then popped up again for a look
Then took out his lance
That held up his pants
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on May 31, 2008, 11:16:09 AM
But bold Gyppo he quickly did duck
But then popped up again for a look
Then took out his lance
That held up his pants
And he laughed 'Ow's that for luck?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Bky63 on May 31, 2008, 11:34:28 AM
They sat in the dark holding hands
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 31, 2008, 01:46:21 PM
They sat in the dark holding hands
feeling the prompts from their glands.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on May 31, 2008, 08:55:20 PM
They sat in the dark holding hands
feeling the prompts from their glands.
Obscene as that was
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on May 31, 2008, 09:06:36 PM
They sat in the dark holding hands
feeling the prompts from their glands.
Obscene as that was
nothing happened, because
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on May 31, 2008, 10:09:06 PM
They sat in the dark holding hands
feeling the prompts from their glands.
Obscene as that was
nothing happened, because
They focused on other demands.


A burglar with ill-gotten gain
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Bky63 on June 02, 2008, 10:55:34 AM
(I Love what happened to the last limerick... it made me smile!)

A burglar with ill gotten-gain
was forced to go out in the rain
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on June 02, 2008, 10:58:00 AM
A burglar with ill gotten-gain
was forced to go out in the rain
His booty got drenched
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 02, 2008, 06:49:34 PM
A burglar with ill gotten-gain,
was forced to go out in the rain.
His booty got drenched
And his back got wrenched
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on June 02, 2008, 06:55:40 PM
A burglar with ill gotten-gain,
was forced to go out in the rain.
His booty got drenched
And his back got wrenched
But he went out and burgled again.


Through the old cottage window he crept


 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 02, 2008, 07:18:05 PM
Through the old cottage window he crept
whilst the unwary householder slept
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on June 02, 2008, 07:35:39 PM
Through the old cottage window he crept
whilst the unwary householder slept
He pilfered the silver
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 02, 2008, 07:49:04 PM
Through the old cottage window he crept
whilst the unwary householder slept
He pilfered the silver
in the form of a salver
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Bky63 on June 02, 2008, 08:06:05 PM
Through the old cottage window he crept
whilst the unwary householder slept
He pilfered the silver
in the form of a salver
Then kneeled by the fire, and wept
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 02, 2008, 08:13:50 PM
The householder's dog bit his arse
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 02, 2008, 08:48:56 PM
The householder's dog bit his arse
And he screamed, "Hey, this ain't no farce.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on June 03, 2008, 08:07:15 AM
The householder's dog bit his arse
And he screamed, "Hey, this ain't no farce.
Now my bum's got a bite
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 03, 2008, 09:25:05 AM
The householder's dog bit his arse
And he screamed, "Hey, this ain't no farce.
Now my bum's got a bite
And this just ain't right
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Bky63 on June 03, 2008, 10:38:21 AM
The householder's dog bit his arse
And he screamed, "Hey, this ain't no farce.
Now my bum's got a bite
And this just ain't right
Now the seat in me britches is sparse!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on June 03, 2008, 05:34:08 PM
I once owned a Boxer called Percy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 03, 2008, 07:17:11 PM
I once owned a Boxer called Percy
and trained him without any mercy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 03, 2008, 08:18:55 PM
I once owned a Boxer called Percy,
and trained him without any mercy.
His hook was a sight
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 03, 2008, 08:21:39 PM
I once owned a Boxer called Percy,
and trained him without any mercy.
His hook was a sight
with left hand and right
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 03, 2008, 08:45:08 PM
I once owned a Boxer called Percy
and trained him without any mercy
His hook was a sight
with left hand and right
Set up with jabs and a curtsey.


A wild guitarist named Biff
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 03, 2008, 08:46:56 PM
A wild guitarist named Biff
played many a thunderous riff
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 03, 2008, 09:10:38 PM
A wild guitarist named Biff
played many a thunderous riff
'Til his G-string broke
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Paw on June 03, 2008, 09:46:27 PM
A wild guitarist named Biff
played many a thunderous riff
'Til his G-string broke
As he gave it a stroke
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 03, 2008, 10:59:57 PM
A wild guitarist named Biff
played many a thunderous riff
'Til his G-string broke
As he gave it a stroke
And he walked off stage in a tiff.

Now Biff was a brawler of note
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Paw on June 03, 2008, 11:04:43 PM
Now Biff was a brawler of note
He'd think nothing of slashing your throat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on June 04, 2008, 05:03:21 PM
Now Biff was a brawler of note
He'd think nothing of slashing your throat
Just like Sweeny Todd
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 04, 2008, 07:58:34 PM
Now Biff was a brawler of note
He'd think nothing of slashing your throat
Just like Sweeny Todd
he was a 'right sod'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Paw on June 04, 2008, 09:32:20 PM
Now Biff was a brawler of note
He'd think nothing of slashing your throat
Just like Sweeny Todd
he was a 'right sod'
He killed Sam for touching his coat.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Paw on June 04, 2008, 09:33:58 PM
Now Biff was a brawler of note
He'd think nothing of slashing your throat
Just like Sweeny Todd
he was a 'right sod'
He killed Sam for touching his coat

But Sam's daughter got her revenge
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 05, 2008, 04:34:59 AM
But Sam's daughter got her revenge
when she sacrificed Biff at Stonehenge
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Paw on June 05, 2008, 08:47:46 AM
But Sam's daughter got her revenge
when she sacrificed Biff at Stonehenge
Tying him to a rock
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 05, 2008, 10:45:23 PM
But Sam's daughter got her revenge
when she sacrificed Biff at Stonehenge.
Tying him to a rock,
And releasing a flock
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Paw on June 05, 2008, 11:30:08 PM
But Sam's daughter got her revenge
when she sacrificed Biff at Stonehenge.
Tying him to a rock,
And releasing a flock
Of flesh eating penguins and hens.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Paw on June 05, 2008, 11:31:08 PM
A monument set by the road,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 05, 2008, 11:38:33 PM
A monument set by the road,
Was home to a lizard and toad
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on June 06, 2008, 12:02:48 PM
A monument set by the road,
Was home to a lizard and toad
The reptiles all worshipped
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Paw on June 06, 2008, 03:10:39 PM
A monument set by the road,
Was home to a lizard and toad
The reptiles all worshipped
Called him, "your liz-lordship"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 06, 2008, 06:43:29 PM
A monument set by the road,
Was home to a lizard and toad
The reptiles all worshipped
Called him, "your liz-lordship"
And messed up their humble abode.


So froggy went off on a trip
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on June 07, 2008, 06:42:30 AM

So froggy went off on a trip
And down Leafy Lane he did skip
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Paw on June 07, 2008, 09:24:18 AM
So froggy went off on a trip
And down Leafy Lane he did skip
When he spied a young miss
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 07, 2008, 12:28:15 PM
So froggy went off on a trip
And down Leafy Lane he did skip
When he spied a young miss
In need of a kiss
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: matsamu on June 07, 2008, 12:29:17 PM
So froggy went off on a trip
And down Leafy Lane he did skip
When he spied a young miss
In need of a kiss
So he stuck out a pouted lip.

He ran to the girl
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on June 07, 2008, 12:33:15 PM
He ran to the girl
with the long golden curl
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on June 07, 2008, 04:19:00 PM

He ran to the girl
with the long golden curl
He yanked at the lock
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 07, 2008, 04:53:03 PM
He ran to the girl
with the long golden curl
He yanked at the lock
on the zip of her frock
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 07, 2008, 08:05:49 PM
He ran to the girl
with the long golden curl
He yanked at the lock
on the zip of her frock
And was promptly arrested by the Limerick Police on a variety of charges. 


As Froggy sat rotting in jail
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on June 07, 2008, 08:07:22 PM
As Froggy sat rotting in jail
He began to compose his sad tale
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 07, 2008, 09:35:14 PM
As Froggy sat rotting in jail
He began to compose his sad tale
Of strippers and gin
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ma100 on June 08, 2008, 04:35:41 AM

As Froggy sat rotting in jail
He began to compose his sad tale
Of strippers and gin
And sleeping in a bin
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 08, 2008, 04:48:43 AM
As Froggy sat rotting in jail
He began to compose his sad tale
Of strippers and gin
And sleeping in a bin
And how males with green skin usually fail.

The Limerick police beat him up
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ma100 on June 08, 2008, 04:57:23 AM


The Limerick police beat him up
With a book and a big cup
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: McWawa on June 08, 2008, 05:05:50 AM


The Limerick police beat him up
With a book and a big cup
'cuzz his syntax was wrong
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 08, 2008, 05:40:55 AM
The Limerick police beat him up
With a book and a big cup
'cuzz his syntax was wrong
and his dank marshy pong
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on June 08, 2008, 11:38:24 AM
The Limerick police beat him up
With a book and a big cup
'cuzz his syntax was wrong
and his dank marshy pong
made all the girl frogs want to throw up.


AHA! Claimed the poor beat up frog
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: matsamu on June 08, 2008, 01:27:48 PM
AHA! Claimed the poor beat up frog
sitting upon his jail-rotted log
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on June 08, 2008, 07:06:14 PM
AHA! Claimed the poor beat up frog
sitting upon his jail-rotted log
What's wrong with my pong?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 08, 2008, 07:17:13 PM
AHA! Claimed the poor beat up frog
sitting upon his jail-rotted log
What's wrong with my pong?
And my gold-sequinned thong?
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 08, 2008, 08:06:11 PM
AHA! Claimed the poor beat up frog
sitting upon his jail-rotted log
What's wrong with my pong?
And my gold-sequinned thong?
Your answers will be in my blog.


So Froggy went quickly online
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 08, 2008, 08:47:02 PM
So Froggy went quickly online
and the company there it proved fine
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 08, 2008, 08:50:47 PM
So Froggy went quickly online
and the company there it proved fine
He blogged like a pro
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: McWawa on June 09, 2008, 04:17:33 PM

So Froggy went quickly online
and the company there it proved fine
He blogged like a pro
A jock in the know
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 09, 2008, 04:30:08 PM
So Froggy went quickly online
and the company there it proved fine
He blogged like a pro
A jock in the know
'Til his "subjects" started to whine.


They all sued Froggy for libel
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ma100 on June 09, 2008, 04:32:32 PM



They all sued Froggy for libel
prepared to swear on a bible
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 09, 2008, 06:57:04 PM
They all sued Froggy for libel
prepared to swear on a bible
That it wasn't true
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on June 10, 2008, 06:29:27 AM
They all sued Froggy for libel
prepared to swear on a bible
That it wasn't true
--this hullabaloo
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 10, 2008, 05:01:29 PM
They all sued Froggy for libel
prepared to swear on a bible
That it wasn't true
--this hullabaloo
Penalties were very liable.


So Froggy took off for the swamp
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on June 10, 2008, 06:03:51 PM
So Froggy took off for the swamp
Which was murky dark and quite damp
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on June 10, 2008, 07:16:21 PM
So Froggy took off for the swamp
Which was murky dark and quite damp
with solicitor in tow
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 10, 2008, 10:21:54 PM
So Froggy took off for the swamp
Which was murky dark and quite damp
with solicitor in tow
To row, don'cha know
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on June 11, 2008, 04:37:47 PM
So Froggy took off for the swamp
Which was murky dark and quite damp
with solicitor in tow
To row, don'cha know
and to guide them a very bright lamp

Gekkos,they lived on my ceiling
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 11, 2008, 04:41:29 PM
Gekkos,they lived on my ceiling
And sang each night with such feeling
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on June 11, 2008, 05:14:17 PM
Gekkos, they lived on my ceiling
And sang each night with such feeling
They lulled me to sleep
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on June 11, 2008, 07:02:57 PM
Gekkos, they lived on my ceiling
And sang each night with such feeling
They lulled me to sleep
as I counted sheep
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 11, 2008, 10:01:48 PM
Gekkos, they lived on my ceiling,
And sang each night with such feeling.
They lulled me to sleep
as I counted sheep,
Then poured a cup of darjeeling.


The tea was a mighty fine choice
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on June 12, 2008, 01:50:12 PM
The tea was a mighty fine choice
t'was lush and it made me rejoice
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Paw on June 12, 2008, 09:36:04 PM
The tea was a mighty fine choice
t'was lush and it made me rejoice
But I spilled half a cup
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on June 13, 2008, 04:29:55 PM
The tea was a mighty fine choice
t'was lush and it made me rejoice
But I spilled half a cup
and the cat licked it up
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Xerika on June 13, 2008, 07:38:47 PM
The tea was a mighty fine choice
t'was lush and it made me rejoice
But I spilled half a cup
and the cat licked it up
Then purred like a vintage Rolls Royce
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Xerika on June 13, 2008, 07:41:40 PM
OK, I should have started the next one apparently....

There was once a young gerbil called Ben
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ma100 on June 13, 2008, 07:54:41 PM

There was once a young gerbil called Ben
who fathered two litters of ten
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Xerika on June 13, 2008, 08:01:54 PM
There was once a young gerbil called Ben
who fathered two litters of ten
So feeling quite tired
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ma100 on June 13, 2008, 08:08:59 PM

There was once a young gerbil called Ben
who fathered two litters of ten
So feeling quite tired
and no longer desired
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Xerika on June 13, 2008, 08:23:53 PM
There was once a young gerbil called Ben
who fathered two litters of ten
So feeling quite tired
and no longer desired
It was back to the wrist once again

How wonderful is that Jodrell Bank
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 13, 2008, 08:31:27 PM
How wonderful is that Jodrell Bank?
'Tis a wonder Manchester ain't sank
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on June 14, 2008, 03:54:07 PM
How wonderful is that Jodrell Bank?
'Tis a wonder Manchester ain't sank
a nebulous design
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 14, 2008, 11:24:16 PM
How wonderful is that Jodrell Bank?
'Tis a wonder Manchester ain't sank
a nebulous design
Lookin' mighty fine
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on June 17, 2008, 11:31:44 AM
How wonderful is that Jodrell Bank?
'Tis a wonder Manchester ain't sank
a nebulous design
Lookin' mighty fine
With telescope thats third in world rank


I saw the mountains on the Moon
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 17, 2008, 12:33:43 PM
I saw the mountains on the Moon
'Twas Sunday the sixteenth of June
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 17, 2008, 05:06:59 PM
I saw the mountains on the Moon
'Twas Sunday the sixteenth of June
With a limp rhubarb stalk
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 17, 2008, 10:08:57 PM
I saw the mountains on the Moon.
'Twas Sunday, the sixteenth of June.
With a limp rhubarb stalk
I proceeded to talk
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 18, 2008, 02:10:30 AM
I saw the mountains on the Moon.
'Twas Sunday, the sixteenth of June.
With a limp rhubarb stalk
I proceeded to talk
like a moon gazing gin crazed baboon.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: genic on June 18, 2008, 03:10:55 AM
I once walked up to bar
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Paw on June 18, 2008, 07:14:15 AM
I once walked up to bar
And was asked to put out my cigar
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 18, 2008, 11:44:12 AM
I once walked up to bar
And was asked to put out my cigar
so I kicked it outside
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 18, 2008, 05:17:53 PM
I once walked up to bar
And was asked to put out my cigar
so I kicked it outside
And the barman replied,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Paw on June 18, 2008, 11:25:32 PM
I once walked up to bar
And was asked to put out my cigar
so I kicked it outside
And the barman replied,
That my ashes have started a fire.

The fire alarms all rang out
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 19, 2008, 07:31:44 AM
The fire alarms all rang out
so I never paid for my 'shout'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 19, 2008, 08:06:44 PM
The fire alarms all rang out
so I never paid for my 'shout'
I ran for the door
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 19, 2008, 09:07:17 PM
The fire alarms all rang out
so I never paid for my 'shout'
I ran for the door,
tripped over a whore
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 19, 2008, 09:18:31 PM
The fire alarms all rang out
so I never paid for my 'shout'
I ran for the door,
tripped over a whore
Face-first in a puddle of stout.


I smelled like cheap beer and perfume
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: McWawa on June 20, 2008, 12:40:02 AM
 
I smelled like cheap beer and perfume
"You're drunk," said the Madam " I assume".
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 21, 2008, 11:05:00 AM
I smelled like cheap beer and perfume
"You're drunk," said the Madam " I assume".
"Me?" I inquired
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on June 21, 2008, 02:10:48 PM
I smelled like cheap beer and perfume
"You're drunk,"said the Madam "I assume"
"Me?" I inquired
I felt quite inspired
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: McWawa on June 22, 2008, 07:27:18 AM

I smelled like cheap beer and perfume
"You're drunk,"said the Madam "I assume"
"Me?" I inquired
I felt quite inspired
To raise the level of the debate to her room.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on June 22, 2008, 04:15:48 PM
There once was a girl who brewed beer
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 22, 2008, 05:48:25 PM
There once was a girl who brewed beer
she used hops and the wax from her ear
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on June 23, 2008, 04:55:30 AM
There once was a girl who brewed beer
she used hops and the wax from her ear.
Then into her vat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 23, 2008, 05:01:54 AM
There once was a girl who brewed beer
she used hops and the wax from her ear.
Then into her vat
some green gob she spat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 23, 2008, 05:07:46 AM
There once was a girl who brewed beer
she used hops and the wax from her ear.
Then into her vat
some green gob she spat
and the end result tasted quite queer.

My keyboard has got stuck on 'F'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on June 23, 2008, 05:09:32 AM
My keyboard has got stuck on 'F'
FFFF FFF FF
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 23, 2008, 05:19:56 AM
My keyboard has got stuck on 'F'
FFFF FFF FF
Thank Gates I've a mouse
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on June 23, 2008, 08:13:55 AM
My keyboard has got stuck on 'F'
FFFF FFF FF
Thank Gates I've a mouse
and a manservant Klaus
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on June 23, 2008, 12:51:11 PM
My keyboard has got stuck on 'F'
FFFF  FFF FF
Thank Gates I've a mouse
and a manservant Klaus
whos FF'd off with his girlfriend Stef


I love speaking German at times
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 23, 2008, 03:11:37 PM
I love speaking German at times
and I try not to mention war crimes
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 23, 2008, 04:06:26 PM
I love speaking German at times
and I try not to mention war crimes
because it drives the French mad
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 23, 2008, 09:03:59 PM
I love speaking German at times
and I try not to mention war crimes
because it drives the French mad
To know that I've had
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on June 24, 2008, 03:32:16 AM
I love speaking German at times
and I try not to mention war crimes
because it drives the French mad
To know that I've had
ein Zwanstuck in mein Trudelenheims!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 24, 2008, 06:24:16 AM
A potter from Plymouth named Pete
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on June 24, 2008, 06:39:44 AM
A potter from Plymouth named Pete
poked a pink porky pig in the street
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Amie on June 24, 2008, 07:04:51 AM
A potter from Plymouth named Pete
poked a pink porky pig in the street
The piggy cried "Please!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 24, 2008, 07:18:03 AM
A potter from Plymouth named Pete
poked a pink porky pig in the street
The piggy cried "Please
give my hams a firm squeeze!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on June 24, 2008, 08:34:37 AM
A potter from Plymouth named Pete
poked a pink porky pig in the street
The piggy cried "Please
give my hams a firm squeeze!
But next time lets be more discreet."
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on June 24, 2008, 10:49:40 AM
Boars are running wild in Dorset
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 24, 2008, 01:07:34 PM
Boars are running wild in Dorset
some in thigh boots and a corset (BTW, Pete from Plymouth sounds all too believable)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 24, 2008, 01:13:49 PM
Boars are running wild in Dorset
some in thigh boots and a corset
From Weymouth to Poole
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 24, 2008, 01:35:02 PM
Boars are running wild in Dorset
some in thigh boots and a corset
From Weymouth to Poole
they rut and they drool
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on June 25, 2008, 03:40:13 AM
Boars are running wild in Dorset
some in thigh boots and a corset
From Weymouth to Poole
they rut and they drool
If you find one, seduce it, don’t force it
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 25, 2008, 05:27:32 AM
A priest and his pet sparrow Mike
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on June 25, 2008, 06:09:43 AM
A priest and his pet sparrow Mike
found a dangerous leak in a dyke
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Amie on June 25, 2008, 06:25:43 AM
A priest and his pet sparrow Mike
found a dangerous leak in a dyke
She'd tried all sorts of plugs
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 25, 2008, 07:23:01 AM
A priest and his pet sparrow Mike
found a dangerous leak in a dyke
She'd tried all sorts of plugs
then resorted to drugs
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 25, 2008, 07:58:08 AM
A priest and his pet sparrow Mike
found a dangerous leak in a dyke
She'd tried all sorts of plugs
then resorted to drugs
before leaping a cliff on her bike.

A Priest called MacTavish was found
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on June 25, 2008, 09:04:03 AM
A Priest called MacTavish was found
In a rather small hole in the ground
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 25, 2008, 09:15:35 AM
A Priest called MacTavish was found
In a rather small hole in the ground
The fit was so tight
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 25, 2008, 04:52:15 PM
A Priest called MacTavish was found
In a rather small hole in the ground
The fit was so tight
and his dogma so trite
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Xerika on June 25, 2008, 07:53:34 PM
A Priest called MacTavish was found
In a rather small hole in the ground
The fit was so tight
and his dogma so trite
His Holeyness slipped him a pound
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Xerika on June 25, 2008, 07:57:45 PM
I once had a neighbour called Roger
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 25, 2008, 10:12:09 PM
I once had a neighbour called Roger,
A mean and curmudgeonly codger
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 26, 2008, 05:35:39 AM
I once had a neighbour called Roger,
A mean and curmudgeonly codger
His long suff'ring wife
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 26, 2008, 06:52:38 AM
I once had a neighbour called Roger,
A mean and curmudgeonly codger
His long suff'ring wife
Went for him with a knife
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on June 26, 2008, 07:21:09 AM
I once had a neighbour called Roger,
A mean and curmudgeonly codger
His long suff'ring wife
Went for him with a knife
But she missed and it stuck in the lodger
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on June 26, 2008, 07:53:49 AM
Two dandies, a fop and a rake
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 26, 2008, 09:02:36 AM
Two dandies, a fop and a rake
were deciding which carriage to take
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on June 26, 2008, 10:01:37 AM
Two dandies, a fop and a rake
were deciding which carriage to take
The fop said ‘A Hansom’
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on June 26, 2008, 10:03:20 AM
Two dandies, a fop and a rake
were deciding which carriage to take
The fop said ‘A Hansom’
Which'll cost a king's ransom
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on June 26, 2008, 11:55:12 AM
Two dandies,a fop and a rake
were deciding which carriage to take
The fop said 'A Hansom'
Which'll cost a king's ransom
so instead they baked a Dundee cake


Dick Turpin was a highway man bold
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 26, 2008, 01:10:36 PM
Dick Turpin was a highway man bold
stealing maidenly virtue and gold
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 26, 2008, 02:51:41 PM
Dick Turpin was a highway man bold
stealing maidenly virtue and gold
He'd ride poor Black Bess
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 26, 2008, 07:33:37 PM
Dick Turpin was a highway man bold
stealing maidenly virtue and gold
He'd ride poor Black Bess
'til she foamed with distress
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on June 27, 2008, 03:32:32 AM
Dick Turpin was a highway man bold
stealing maidenly virtue and gold
He'd ride poor Black Bess
'til she foamed with distress
Whilst his horse  stood outside in the cold
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 27, 2008, 04:19:05 AM
A showman from somewhere in Hants
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on June 27, 2008, 04:22:04 AM
A showman from somewhere in Hants
found a large Conger eel in his pants
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 27, 2008, 04:35:36 AM
A showman from somewhere in Hants
found a large Conger eel in his pants.
So he rushed to the Doc,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on June 27, 2008, 05:01:55 AM
A showman from somewhere in Hants
found a large Conger eel in his pants.
So he rushed to the Doc,
Who he knew had a wok
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 27, 2008, 05:13:39 AM
A showman from somewhere in Hants
found a large Conger eel in his pants.
So he rushed to the Doc,
Who he knew had a wok
But the doctor had skipped off to France.

From the locum he borrowed a skillet
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on June 27, 2008, 05:30:23 AM
From the locum he borrowed a skillet
Thinking 'Fok the wok I’ll simply just grill it!'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 27, 2008, 05:34:31 AM
From the locum he borrowed a skillet
Thinking 'Fok the wok I’ll simply just grill it!'
But the eel appealed
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on June 27, 2008, 05:40:27 AM
From the locum he borrowed a skillet
Thinking 'Fok the wok I’ll simply just grill it!'
But the eel appealed
‘Don’t eat me! it squealed
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 27, 2008, 05:46:19 AM
From the locum he borrowed a skillet
Thinking 'Fok the wok I’ll simply just grill it!'
But the eel appealed
‘Don’t eat me! it squealed
So he fed it a fresh Tuna fillet.

The Eel became somewhat fractious
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 27, 2008, 06:00:28 AM
The Eel became somewhat fractious
like a sack full of highly-strung actors
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on June 27, 2008, 06:09:47 AM
The Eel became somewhat fractious
like a sack full of highly-strung actors
So he beat out its brains
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 27, 2008, 06:14:26 AM
The Eel became somewhat fractious
like a sack full of highly-strung actors
So he beat out its brains
then ate the remains
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on June 27, 2008, 08:06:42 AM
The Eel became somewhat fractious
like a sack full of highly-strung actors
So he beat out its brains
then ate the remains
I can’t tell you the rest ‘cos they’ve sacked us.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 28, 2008, 03:14:51 PM
Thin Lyn and her pet penguin Gwyn
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 28, 2008, 04:46:19 PM
Thin Lyn and her pet penguin Gwyn
walked down to the sea and leapt in.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 28, 2008, 04:50:04 PM
Thin Lyn and her pet penguin Gwyn
walked down to the sea and leapt in.
Where lobster pot Paul
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ma100 on June 28, 2008, 04:58:12 PM

Thin Lyn and her pet penguin Gwyn
walked down to the sea and leapt in.
Where lobster pot Paul
had lost his beach ball
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on June 28, 2008, 05:19:19 PM
Thin Lyn and her pet penguin Gwyn
walked down to the sea and leapt in
Where lobster pot Paul
had lost his beach ball
so they all went in search with a grin

The mermaid lay combing her hair
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 28, 2008, 05:23:50 PM
The mermaid lay combing the hair
on her chin. It was driving her spare
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 28, 2008, 06:27:08 PM
The mermaid lay combing the hair
on her chin. It was driving her spare
and her handlebar 'tache
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on June 28, 2008, 07:06:39 PM
The mermaid lay combing the hair
on her chin. It was driving her spare
and her handlebar 'tache
full of vile cigar ash
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 28, 2008, 07:55:10 PM
The mermaid lay combing the hair
on her chin. It was driving her spare
and her handlebar 'tache
full of vile cigar ash
made all the young men shout "Beware!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 29, 2008, 07:09:08 AM
...

but her fishy bits were quite appealing
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 29, 2008, 09:23:21 AM
but her fishy bits were quite appealing
with her scales both bright and revealing
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 29, 2008, 09:26:53 AM
but her fishy bits were quite appealing
with her scales both bright and revealing.
And although she had crabs
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 29, 2008, 09:40:26 AM
but her fishy bits were quite appealing
with her scales both bright and revealing.
And although she had crabs
and a couple of Dabs
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 29, 2008, 10:24:05 AM
but her fishy bits were quite appealing
with her scales both bright and revealing.
And although she had crabs
and a couple of Dabs
she knocked spots off that strange gal from Ealing

There was a strange lady from Ealing
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 29, 2008, 01:21:58 PM
There was a strange lady from Ealing
who found other girls quite appealing
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 29, 2008, 02:13:12 PM
There was a strange lady from Ealing
who found other girls quite appealing.
So she jumped on her bike
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 29, 2008, 08:17:14 PM
There was a strange lady from Ealing
who found other girls quite appealing.
So she jumped on her bike
In search of one like
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: CaddyJ on June 29, 2008, 09:52:32 PM
There was a strange lady from Ealing
who found other girls quite appealing.
So she jumped on her bike
In search of one like
Madonna with more of the feeling!
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: CaddyJ on June 29, 2008, 09:53:11 PM
A dapper gent driving a Lexus
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Xerika on June 29, 2008, 10:05:01 PM
A dapper gent driving a Lexus
which most people drive just to vex us
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 30, 2008, 02:36:43 AM
A dapper gent driving a Lexus
which most people drive just to vex us.
Drove over a cat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 30, 2008, 03:52:23 AM
A dapper gent driving a Lexus
which most people drive just to vex us.
Drove over a cat,
left it flat as his hat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on June 30, 2008, 04:09:02 AM
A dapper gent driving a Lexus
which most people drive just to vex us.
Drove over a cat
left it flat as his hat
but everyone does that in Texas
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on June 30, 2008, 02:06:59 PM
In Texas they clobber 'em all
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on June 30, 2008, 05:51:43 PM
In Texas they clobber 'em all,
the long and the short and the tall
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on June 30, 2008, 06:41:53 PM
In Texas they clobber 'em all,
the long and the short and the tall
Bless all the privates
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on June 30, 2008, 08:42:34 PM
In Texas they clobber 'em all,
the long and the short and the tall.
Bless all the privates;
Yes, let's revive its
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on July 01, 2008, 08:20:04 AM
In Texas they clobber 'em all,
the long and the short and the tall.
Bless all the privates;
Yes, let's revive its
privates with a gay masked ball.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: cleopatra on July 01, 2008, 04:59:47 PM
JR and Miss Ellie had a fight
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: McWawa on July 01, 2008, 06:05:30 PM

 JR and Miss Ellie had a fight
 'bout who was wearing the knickers that night
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on July 01, 2008, 07:03:36 PM
JR and Miss Ellie had a fight
 'bout who was wearing the knickers that night
They rumbled' round South Fork
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on July 02, 2008, 11:49:04 PM
JR and Miss Ellie had a fight
 'bout who was wearing the knickers that night
They rumbled' round South Fork
Then headed for New York
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 03, 2008, 01:42:48 AM
JR and Miss Ellie had a fight
 'bout who was wearing the knickers that night
They rumbled' round South Fork
Then headed for New York
but got lost 'cause there not very bright.

A Welshman, a pig, and a crow
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on July 03, 2008, 03:48:28 AM
A Welshman, a pig, and a crow
walked into a bar we all know.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on July 03, 2008, 04:40:48 AM
A Welshman, a pig, and a crow
walked into a bar we all know.
where rank bestiality
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 03, 2008, 05:47:48 AM
A Welshman, a pig, and a crow
walked into a bar we all know.
where rank bestiality
was the speciality
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on July 03, 2008, 06:00:19 AM
A Welshman, a pig, and a crow
walked into a bar we all know.
where rank bestiality
was the speciality
With hot sausage rolls after the show.

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on July 03, 2008, 06:14:44 PM
I once had to look after pigs     (its true..I was a gardener but I did it for extra dosh ;D)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on July 03, 2008, 06:37:14 PM
I once had to look after pigs
with flashing blue lights and bad wigs
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Akeith (Gray) on July 03, 2008, 06:52:27 PM
That funny, Gyppo.  :)  :D  ;D

Cracked me up.

Gray
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on July 03, 2008, 06:57:31 PM
I once had to look after pigs
with flashing blue lights and bad wigs
These piggies rode 'Hogs'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on July 03, 2008, 07:49:32 PM
I once had to look after pigs
with flashing blue lights and bad wigs
These piggies rode 'Hogs',
ate doughnuts and choc logs
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 04, 2008, 02:28:48 AM
I once had to look after pigs
with flashing blue lights and bad wigs
These piggies rode 'Hogs',
ate doughnuts and choc logs
Then they formed a rock band and played gigs .

Their diminutive yodeller named Stung
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on July 04, 2008, 03:35:02 AM
Their diminutive yodeller named Stung
for a short-arse was extremely well hung
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 04, 2008, 03:59:23 AM
Their diminutive yodeller named Stung
for a short-arse was extremely well hung
and he took giant steps
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on July 04, 2008, 04:11:40 AM
Their diminutive yodeller named Stung
for a short-arse was extremely well hung
and he took giant steps
whilst his bird flashed her threps

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 04, 2008, 04:17:33 AM
Their diminutive yodeller named Stung
for a short-arse was extremely well hung
and he took giant steps
whilst his bird flashed her threps
as about school girl crushes they sung.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on July 04, 2008, 05:37:03 AM
You can't leave 'til the fat lady sings
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on July 04, 2008, 11:02:11 AM
You can't leave 'til the fat lady sings
But she's sung, so go pack your things.

(This is how to kill a limerick on the second line, but if anyone wants to give her the kiss of life and prove me wrong please continue.)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Big T on July 04, 2008, 11:07:56 AM
You can't leave 'til the fat lady sings
But she's sung, so go pack your things.
"I think I'll hang on"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on July 04, 2008, 12:17:21 PM
You can't leave 'til the fat lady sings
But she's sung, so go pack your things.
"I think I'll hang on
See what else she might spawn"    :P
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 04, 2008, 01:21:01 PM
You can't leave 'til the fat lady sings
But she's sung, so go pack your things.
"I think I'll hang on
See what else she might spawn"

Is a famous quote of Deng Xiaoping's.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Solitaire on July 04, 2008, 02:02:31 PM
Deng Xiaoping was one helluva diva
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 04, 2008, 02:19:18 PM
Deng Xiaoping was one helluva diva.
He'd yodel whilst stroking his beaver
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on July 04, 2008, 05:36:50 PM
Deng Xiaoping was one helluva diva.
He'd yodel whilst stroking his beaver
with a long Ostrich feather
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on July 04, 2008, 06:03:57 PM
Deng Xiaoping was one helluva diva.
He'd yodel whilst stroking his beaver
with a long Ostrich feather
And a handful of heather
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on July 04, 2008, 06:41:35 PM
Deng Xiaoping was one helluva diva
He'd yodel whilst stroking his beaver
with a long ostrich feather
and a handful of leather
Till his beaver then begged for a breather


My friend has a beaver fur coat              (shes Canadian....)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 04, 2008, 06:52:51 PM
My friend has a beaver fur coat
that smells like a rancid old goat       (I have a pair of Canadian skin lederhosen)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ma100 on July 05, 2008, 06:49:23 AM

My friend has a beaver fur coat
that smells like a rancid old goat 
it's infested with fleas      
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on July 05, 2008, 09:47:03 AM
My friend has a beaver fur coat
that smells like a rancid old goat
it's infested with fleas
which cavort round her knees
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on July 05, 2008, 10:00:12 AM
My friend has a beaver fur coat
that smells like a rancid old goat
it's infested with fleas
which cavort round her knees
And bite her right up to her throat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on July 06, 2008, 09:58:43 PM
A wandering minstrel named Chance
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Akeith (Gray) on July 06, 2008, 10:33:55 PM
A wandering minstrel named Chance
who had loud bells on his red pants
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on July 07, 2008, 07:07:45 AM
A wandering minstrel named Chance
who had loud bells on his red pants
found rust on his 'clappers'
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on July 07, 2008, 09:52:58 AM
A wandering minstrel named Chance
who had loud bells on his red pants
found rust on his 'clappers'
which startled the rappers
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Bky63 on July 07, 2008, 11:03:20 AM
A wandering minstrel named Chance
who had loud bells on his red pants
found rust on his 'clappers'
which startled the rappers
And made for a spirited dance!!   :o
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on July 08, 2008, 04:38:33 PM
I love to jive and dance the tango
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on July 08, 2008, 06:10:56 PM
I love to jive and dance the tango
whilst juggling a pear and mango
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on July 08, 2008, 10:53:25 PM
I love to jive and dance the tango
whilst juggling a pear and mango.
This fruity display
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on July 09, 2008, 05:37:09 AM
I love to jive and dance the tango
whilst juggling a pear and mango.
This fruity display
I perform every day
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Sir Nigel on July 09, 2008, 06:03:56 AM
I love to jive and dance the tango
whilst juggling a pear and mango.
This fruity display
I perform every day
It’s a fruity fab flirty fandango
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: quixote on July 09, 2008, 06:12:44 AM
I love to jive and dance the tango
whilst juggling a pear and mango.
This fruity display
I perform every day
But I flatly refuse to fandango
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on July 09, 2008, 10:23:07 AM
Whilst stirring a cup of green tea
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 09, 2008, 02:04:13 PM
Whilst stirring a cup of green tea
with one third of a Dido CD
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: McWawa on July 09, 2008, 04:45:59 PM
 
Whilst stirring a cup of green tea
with one third of a Dido CD
In a crinoline dress
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on July 09, 2008, 05:21:26 PM
Whilst stirring a cup of green tea
with one third of a Dido CD
In a crinoline dress
which was cut to impress
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on July 09, 2008, 05:31:21 PM
Whilst stirring a cup of green tea
with one third of a Dido CD
In a crinoline dress
which was cut to impress
I flirted with my fan with great glee


Man with large moustache looks divine
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on July 09, 2008, 11:28:22 PM
Man with large moustache looks divine,
While standing , sitting or supine
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: CaddyJ on July 09, 2008, 11:46:40 PM
Man with large moustache looks divine,
While standing , sitting or supine
It can filter his ale
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on July 11, 2008, 06:28:39 PM
Man with large moustache looks divine
While standing, sitting or supine
It can filter his ale
and make maidens go pale  ( ;))
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 11, 2008, 07:46:36 PM
Man with large moustache looks divine
While standing, sitting or supine
It can filter his ale
and make maidens go pale
as they straddle his walrus design.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on July 12, 2008, 12:55:43 PM
 ;D ;D ;D


The highwayman cocked his big gun
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on July 12, 2008, 01:30:48 PM
The highwayman cocked his big gun
and said "Verily, this will be fun."
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 12, 2008, 02:00:39 PM
The highwayman cocked his big gun
and said "Verily, this will be fun."
But the big breasted wench
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on July 12, 2008, 02:13:25 PM
The highwayman cocked his big gun
and said "Verily, this will be fun."
But the big breasted wench
screwed his nuts with a wrench
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 12, 2008, 02:39:05 PM
The highwayman cocked his big gun
and said "Verily, this will be fun."
But the big breasted wench
screwed his nuts with a wrench.
Now the poor sod has only got one.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on July 12, 2008, 05:59:43 PM
( ;D ;D,oh I loved that last one!)



French knickers are ideal underwear
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on July 12, 2008, 06:09:04 PM
French knickers are ideal underwear
if you want to make the lads stare
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 12, 2008, 06:27:10 PM
French knickers are ideal underwear
if you want to make the lads stare.
But I've heard some rumours
that Ellie wears bloomers  :o
It's true! Gyppo told me, I swear.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on July 12, 2008, 06:30:41 PM
Citabria lies like a trooper
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Akeith (Gray) on July 12, 2008, 09:23:17 PM
Citabria lies like a trooper,
GrayAyes sneaks just like a snooper,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 13, 2008, 07:02:23 AM
Citabria lies like a trooper,                      (In fact Citabria was a Trooper for a period of time.)
GrayAyes sneaks just like a snooper,
and what Gyppo likes most
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Johno71 on July 13, 2008, 09:08:53 AM
Citabria lies like a trooper,                      (In fact Citabria was a Trooper for a period of time.)
GrayAyes sneaks just like a snooper,
and what Gyppo likes most
when playing the host,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on July 13, 2008, 11:03:48 AM
Citabria lies like a trooper
Grayeyes sneaks just like a snooper
and what Gyppo likes most
when playing the host
is to jab with his lance;which is super



Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on July 13, 2008, 02:03:23 PM
Just to remind you there is a chance for you to write a full limerick style poem for each person to carry out a story.   See Writing Games and Challenges

Lin x
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on July 13, 2008, 04:13:54 PM
In the joust Sir Gyppo was bold
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 13, 2008, 05:51:08 PM
In the joust Sir Gyppo was bold
quite crusty and speckled with mould.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Xerika on July 13, 2008, 08:07:58 PM
In the joust Sir Gyppo was bold
quite crusty and speckled with mould.
His codpiece was knackered
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 14, 2008, 01:26:52 AM
In the joust Sir Gyppo was bold
quite crusty and speckled with mould.
His codpiece was knackered
its contents were lacquered
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on July 15, 2008, 04:59:35 PM
In the joust Sir Gyppo was bold
quite crusty and speckled with mould
His codpiece was knackered
its contents were lacquered
But with maids in the grass he rolled..




Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 16, 2008, 04:40:23 AM
The geek had a large pointed head
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ma100 on July 16, 2008, 05:19:36 AM

The geek had a large pointed head
and books surrounding his bed
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on July 16, 2008, 05:26:17 PM
The geek had a large pointed head
and books surrounding his bed
He'd read all the day
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on July 16, 2008, 07:10:39 PM
The geek had a large pointed head
and books surrounding his bed
He'd read all the day
as his life ticked away
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Xerika on July 16, 2008, 09:16:41 PM
The geek had a large pointed head
and books surrounding his bed
He'd read all the day
as his life ticked away
and his bonce went all rounded when dead
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 17, 2008, 03:39:19 AM
She wept as they carted him off  :'(
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on July 17, 2008, 05:30:59 AM
She wept as they carted him off,
her round-headed once-pointy Toff
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: DGSquared on July 17, 2008, 04:04:18 PM
She wept as they carted him off,
her round-headed once-pointy Toff
and clothes all askew
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on July 17, 2008, 05:36:45 PM
She wept as they carried him off,
her round-headed once-pointy toff
and clothes all askew
strange glances she drew
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 18, 2008, 07:01:53 AM
She wept as they carried him off,
her round-headed once-pointy toff
and clothes all askew
strange glances she drew
when she grabbed her own balls and said "cough!"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on July 18, 2008, 12:16:34 PM
 ;D ;D love that last line!..and speaking of balls..


I used to play cricket at school           (true)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on July 18, 2008, 12:26:26 PM
I used to play cricket at school
In my uniform I felt pretty cool
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Akeith (Gray) on July 18, 2008, 01:24:10 PM
I used to play cricket at school
In my uniform I felt pretty cool
But along came Mary
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 18, 2008, 01:48:28 PM
I used to play cricket at school
In my uniform I felt pretty cool
But along came Mary
with Roger the fairy
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on July 18, 2008, 03:29:56 PM
I used to play cricket at school
In my uniform I felt pretty cool
But along came Mary
with Roger the fairy
and his itchy jock-strap of wool.

Old Gyppo, he throws a straight knife.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Spell Chick on July 18, 2008, 05:22:19 PM
Old Gyppo, he throws a straight knife.
And laughs when he mentions a wife.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 19, 2008, 04:44:01 AM
Old Gyppo, he throws a straight knife.
And laughs when he mentions a wife.
His new wife-throwing act
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on July 19, 2008, 11:40:55 AM
Old Gyppo, he throws a straight knife.
And laughs when he mentions a wife.
His new wife-throwing act
Had skiills that he lacked
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 19, 2008, 11:49:13 AM
Old Gyppo, he throws a straight knife.
And laughs when he mentions a wife.
His new wife-throwing act
Had skiills that he lacked
So his wife's life is now filled with strife.

A mule skinner's grandson named Gray
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on July 19, 2008, 11:54:40 AM
A mule skinner's grandson named GrayWent to the Church to pray
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 19, 2008, 04:51:59 PM
A mule skinner's grandson named Gray
Went to the Church to pray
for the sole of his boot
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Xerika on July 19, 2008, 09:13:47 PM
A mule skinner's grandson named Gray
Went to the Church to pray
for the sole of his boot
and a sequel to Klute
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on July 19, 2008, 10:41:25 PM
A mule skinner's grandson named Gray
Went to the Church to pray
for the sole of his boot
and a sequel to Klute
And maybe a roll in the hay.

A de-frocked vicar named Hadley
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on July 19, 2008, 10:43:51 PM
A de-frocked vicar named Hadley
Because he behaved rather badly
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on July 20, 2008, 12:17:59 AM
A de-frocked vicar named Hadley
Because he behaved rather badly
Got sent to Whitemoor
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 20, 2008, 03:39:21 AM
A de-frocked vicar named Hadley
Because he behaved rather badly
Got sent to Whitemoor
where he lived in a drawer
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on July 20, 2008, 03:42:03 AM
A de-frocked vicar named Hadley
Because he behaved rather badly
Got sent to Whitemoor
where he lived in a drawer
and fell for a hankerchief, madly.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 20, 2008, 04:03:14 AM
But the handkerchief turned him down flat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on July 20, 2008, 04:07:30 AM
But the handkerchief turned him down flat
'cos it was wed to a bright Ginger cat
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 20, 2008, 04:23:03 AM
But the handkerchief turned him down flat
'cos it was wed to a bright Ginger cat.
He persisted, and when
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on July 20, 2008, 04:39:02 AM
But the handkerchief turned him down flat
'cos it was wed to a bright Ginger cat.
He persisted, and when
it turned into a hen  (Just what the hell did I sprinkle on my cereal this morning?)
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 20, 2008, 04:46:12 AM
But the handkerchief turned him down flat
'cos it was wed to a bright Ginger cat.
He persisted, and when
it turned into a hen
his passion erupted and ... splat.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on July 20, 2008, 11:54:11 AM
My aunt's ginger tom was called Pip
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 20, 2008, 12:13:43 PM
My aunt's ginger tom was called Pip
and he lived with my aunt in her skip
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on July 20, 2008, 12:44:42 PM
My aunt's ginger tom was called Pip
and he lived with my aunt in her skip
But the skip was bright pink
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on July 20, 2008, 12:51:00 PM
My aunt's ginger tom was called Pip
and he lived with my aunt in her skip
But the skip was bright pink
and of roses did stink
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on July 20, 2008, 01:26:07 PM
My aunt's ginger tom was called Pip
and he lived with my aunt in her skip
But the skip was bright pink
and of roses did stink
So Pip gave the slip to the skip.


Nigel dug graves for a living
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on July 20, 2008, 01:30:34 PM
Nigel dug graves for a living,
dug Jazz too, but soil's more forgiving.
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on July 21, 2008, 02:57:47 AM
Nigel dug graves for a living,
dug Jazz too, but soil's more forgiving.
So he buried his trumpet
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on July 21, 2008, 03:24:50 AM
Nigel dug graves for a living,
dug Jazz too, but soil's more forgiving.
So he buried his trumpet
and a freshly killed Strumpet
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on July 21, 2008, 05:43:17 PM
Nigel dug graves for a living,
dug jazz,but soil's more forgiving
So he buried his trumpet
and a freshly killed strumpet
Joined a dance school and took up jiving


The leprechaun was playing his flute



Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 21, 2008, 06:07:32 PM
The leprechaun was playing his flute.
When his pal said, "Can I have a toot?"
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on July 21, 2008, 06:27:40 PM
The leprechaun was playing his flute.
When his pal said, "Can I have a toot?"
His quite lyrical riff
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on July 21, 2008, 08:55:26 PM
The leprechaun was playing his flute.
When his pal said, "Can I have a toot?"
His quite lyrical riff
Would suffice only if
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 22, 2008, 03:04:28 AM
The leprechaun was playing his flute.
When his pal said, "Can I have a toot?"
His quite lyrical riff
Would suffice only if
the pixie joined in with his lute.

A glue sniffing Bishop named Rex
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on July 22, 2008, 05:05:33 AM
A glue sniffing Bishop named Rex
stuck his nose to the altar to vex
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 22, 2008, 07:51:21 AM
A glue sniffing Bishop named Rex
stuck his nose to the altar to vex
the curate whose job
was to polish the knob
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on July 22, 2008, 04:29:10 PM
A glue sniffing Bishop named Rex
stuck his nose to the altar to vex
the curate whose job
was to polish the knob
was a cowboy by the name of Tex

Gertie the ghost was very rude
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on July 22, 2008, 05:18:05 PM
Gertie the ghost was very rude
Other ghosts thought she was a prude
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Xerika on July 22, 2008, 09:33:05 PM
Gertie the ghost was very rude
Other ghosts thought she was a prude
But she showed off her bits
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 23, 2008, 03:55:44 AM
Gertie the ghost was very rude
Other ghosts thought she was a prude
But she showed off her bits
Nice beaver, Blue Tits,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on July 23, 2008, 05:55:06 PM
Gertie the ghost was very rude
Other ghosts thought she was a pude
But she showed off her bits
Nice beaver,Blue tits
and a mind that was really quite crude

Bessie beaver was building her dam
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on July 23, 2008, 06:53:31 PM
She was lucky there was a log jam
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: allyrose on July 23, 2008, 06:54:42 PM
Sorry!!

Bessie beaver was building her dam
She was lucky there was a log jam
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Akeith (Gray) on July 23, 2008, 11:21:05 PM
Bessie beaver was building her dam
She was lucky there was a log jam
But she tripped on her tail
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on July 25, 2008, 04:52:36 PM
Bessie Beaver was building her dam
She was lucky there was a log jam
But she tripped on her tail
Then fell over a pail
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Akeith (Gray) on July 26, 2008, 01:39:47 AM
Bessie Beaver was building her dam
She was lucky there was a log jam
But she tripped on her tail
Then fell over a pail
And screamd a word that sounds like Good Pam.


There was a rodent named Cecil
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 26, 2008, 04:50:51 AM
There once was a rodent named Cecil
bought a mortar to go with his pestle

In English Cecil rhymes with pestle. If you think it is pronounced see sull that is just plain wrong  ;D
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on July 26, 2008, 09:03:53 AM
There once was a rodent named Cecil
bought a mortar to go with his pestle.
He ground up his nuts

Thanks for the pronounciation key, Mark. 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Spell Chick on July 26, 2008, 09:38:30 AM
There once was a rodent named Cecil
bought a mortar to go with his pestle.
He ground up his nuts
Which really took guts
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on July 26, 2008, 09:55:22 AM
There once was a rodent named Cecil
bought a mortar to go with his pestle.
He ground up his nuts
Which really took guts
All this happened on the island of Texel  (Tessel)


For those who don't know - Texel is an island at the very top of Holland (Kop van Holland)  and you have to cross the sea to get there, it takes about 20minutes on the ferry from Den Helder.  You can pronounce it as Tessel, some say TeXel. 

 a bit of edication thur!!

Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Lin on July 26, 2008, 09:59:45 AM
I once had a friend on the Scillies,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: ellie on July 26, 2008, 12:55:27 PM
I once had a friend on the Scillies
he told ghost tales and gave me the willies :o
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on July 26, 2008, 01:04:10 PM
I once had a friend on the Scillies
he told ghost tales and gave me the willies.
His Smugglers and Wreckers
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 26, 2008, 01:10:38 PM
I once had a friend on the Scillies
he told ghost tales and gave me the willies.
His Smugglers and Wreckers,
ate roasted woodpeckers
 
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Gyppo on July 26, 2008, 01:13:34 PM
I once had a friend on the Scillies
he told ghost tales and gave me the willies.
His Smugglers and Wreckers,
ate roasted woodpeckers
and wore small wooly hats on their willies.

It's too hot for Gyppo today
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 26, 2008, 01:57:30 PM
It's too hot for Gyppo today
So he summons his house boy Jose
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on July 26, 2008, 10:42:19 PM
It's too hot for Gyppo today,
So he summons his house boy Jose.
"Bring ice in a glass
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 27, 2008, 06:35:37 AM
It's too hot for Gyppo today,
So he summons his house boy Jose.
"Bring ice in a glass
to chill my warm ass
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on July 27, 2008, 11:01:03 PM
It's too hot for Gyppo today,
So he summons his house boy Jose.
"Bring ice in a glass
To chill my warm ass
And make this heatwave go away."


Jose put Gyppo in the fridge,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 28, 2008, 03:40:47 AM
Jose put Gyppo in the fridge,
where he sat on a Camembert ridge
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on July 28, 2008, 07:48:54 PM
Jose put Gyppo in the fridge,
where he sat on a Camembert ridge.
His pants smell of cheese,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Xerika on July 28, 2008, 08:33:03 PM
Jose put Gyppo in the fridge,
where he sat on a Camembert ridge.
His pants smell of cheese,
but wanting to please
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Don on July 28, 2008, 09:58:50 PM
Jose put Gyppo in the fridge,
where he sat on a Camembert ridge.
His pants smell of cheese,
but wanting to please,
He poured wine for those tasting a smidge.


Chez Gyppo just served haute cuisine,
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Post by: Mark H on July 29, 2008, 02:45:14 AM
Chez Gyppo just served haute cuisine,
That's French so is probably obscene  :o
Title: Re: Limerick Addicts/Come on folks join in!!
Po