My Writers Circle

The Coffee Shop => The Coffee Shop => Topic started by: thatollie on September 12, 2007, 08:05:08 PM

Title: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 12, 2007, 08:05:08 PM
The idea, basic rambling. The point, I have no idea. Will you be amused, I sorely hope so. Will you join in?
Perhaps, but that would prove that you also have too much free time. So here we go...

 :)
Normal

 ;)
Caffeine/Twitchy

 :D
Definitely high

 ;D
Been drinking

 >:(
On coke

 :(
Tranquilizers

 :o
Poppers

 8)
Hungover

 ???
Quiting smoking

 ::)
Done something naughty

 :P
Been drinking more

 :-[
Just shat himself

 :-X
Cheated on the missus

 :-\
High [again]

 :-*
Prostitute

 :'(
In rehab

Ta-Da
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on September 13, 2007, 12:26:58 PM
 :)
She looks nice

 ;)
Hi ya babe

 :D
Seen the size of this?

 :-[
Oh sorry mate, it was the long hair that confused me.

 :o
Well no need to be like that.

 :-*
Go on give us a kiss anyway.

 :'(
Heh, that hurt.

 :(
Bloody hippies.

 ???
Now, where did I leave me cider.






Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on September 13, 2007, 01:40:38 PM
Aha, you went the direct route.
So now it's time for me to go the rambling way.

Let's go chasing Rainbows in the sky,
it's my invitation, let's all take a trip on insanity.

Must mash, sausages for dinner. I'm spending the evening with my own twisted version of the written word, and taking a belt sander to the telephone.
Won't be around tonight and possibly tomorrow. So I leave this point for con-cider-ration

Who do you think I think I am?

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: wizard7wolf on September 26, 2007, 07:53:17 AM
You are me...but if you are me then I'd be you, then I'd use your body to get to the top
I have a question, and an answer
where is the place where time is refered to somthing of the past. where is the place where souls talk without speech. there is such a place, a place where your thoughts are cast, in the house where creatures teach. this house has a name.
the house of happenings.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on September 26, 2007, 08:01:28 AM
The mist rises on the mystery, if I am you then how can I be a wizard and a wolf?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: wizard7wolf on September 26, 2007, 09:28:17 AM
Crouched in waiting, hidden yellow eyes
Wizard’s Wolf poised, yearning for chase
Muscles twitching against mental leash
Indulging thick scent, living prey
Bound mind and soul, life for life
Wolf’s Wizard waits, ritual patience
Sorcerer’s vision masked in yellow eyes
Mouth hungry for taste of flesh
Enter the world of Wizard and Wolf
Willful walk down forgotten road
See non truth in hazy distance
Sweet promises veil hostile insistences
Woe to him who bares their mark
He is no longer destined for this world
Treading serenely, oblivious to peril
Blind to flicker movement, stirring of night
Wizard’s command, kiss of violence
Wolf surges forward in rush of silence
Scattered moonbeams, streaking light
Glimmer fur, lost in sight 
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on September 26, 2007, 10:51:14 AM
That boy lies upon the grass
Sneaking chocolates under his mask
Sinews slacked in low tide
wresting wolf's gaze from his prey

= = = =

I, [steady yourself for this], had a thought. I know, not my usual style. Here goes...

A black, lesbian paraplegic. PR Wet Dream.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on October 10, 2007, 10:24:44 PM
Time Stood, still wondering why his parents gave him such a crappy name.
= = =

"Excuse me," he said. Looking at her with blue eyes, "where's the bathroom?"

Incensed, she said, "this is a courthouse."

He laughed, mostly to abate the swelling sensation. He turned to go, "then it's a good thing I don't know where the bogs are."

= = =

To those of you that will be lamenting my departure for Nanowrimo.
Never fear, I'll be posting my picture upon this very thread. I'll prove I have the most free time.
So Print it, Frame it and worship it while I'm away. If you want to...

= = =
Self conversation

"You did not just go there."

"OH I went there. I went there, came home, drank some juice and returned to piss all over what I'd done the first time."

= = =
If any of the above made sense, I urge you to seek medical help. Try a chiropractor, they have nothing better to do.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: matsamu on October 11, 2007, 08:30:57 PM
Oh dear god...this is the most awesomest thread ever....

 :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
I'm a drone. We're all drones.....


Saying Macbeth on stage is very bad luck...the worst. People can die...and get hurts

So my question is: If the world is a stage, where am i allowed to say the name of the scottish play?

~Matsamu will speak more later about his ability to speak in third person...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on October 12, 2007, 01:40:07 PM
Frugal tap-dancing Bequest,
Request a quest, requisite
Exquisite, hilarity.
Awesomest, Behest.

= = =
Lie can use big words too.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on October 12, 2007, 02:23:55 PM
Superstitions:

Mats, tatami or otherwise.

I always believed the taboo about MacThingy only applied off-stage.  The direct opposite of the great taboo for the arena stuntman/performer, who knows it is bad luck - 'the kiss of death' no less - to kiss a pretty wench during a performance.  If the script calls for it a wise man makes a great show but avoids making actual osculatory contact.   Kiss 'em before, kiss 'em afterwards, but never inside the 'magic circle' of rope or tape.

(The only time I ever broke this rule I ended up marrying the girl...)

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on October 12, 2007, 08:35:38 PM
So, did it turn out to be good or bad luck?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on October 12, 2007, 09:02:32 PM
Good, mostly - for about ten years - but it ended badly ;-(
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on October 12, 2007, 10:04:54 PM
The old wolf's footsteps break twigs past.
Tim is of the essence.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on October 13, 2007, 04:18:05 AM
And when Tim tries to escape - yet again - from the giant retort jar where his essence is slowly being extracted, for the delectation of the many, the purple Lycra clad assistants gently club him over the head with four foot tall styrofoam replicas of The Pope dressed in a Hitler Youth uniform and then replace the cork, yet again.

 
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: McWawa on October 13, 2007, 04:28:03 AM
 ( I was going to make posting here to this thread but i gotta go, kind of very busy just now)

Bryan
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on October 13, 2007, 04:35:21 AM
I know the feeling.  Life is...  Well, it just is, Man.  Know what I mean.  It...  just... is.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: matsamu on October 13, 2007, 10:52:29 AM
Well, i myself am an actor, but we mostly keep our superstitions on the stage...if the name of the scottish play is mentioned by anyone onstage at our school, they are litterally mobbed. We take the belief very seriously. It makes my friend corey incredibly angry. he says we need to test the theory, but i say, "I don't want to die!" so yeah...that's that. Some say that the name can't be said during a show...like in between the dates of the auditions and the closing night, but i say pish...i won't say it the days the shows are, but hey...that's taht...

~Matsamu
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: McWawa on October 13, 2007, 12:26:42 PM
I think what you need is pickle fork, or to adapt and become like as one.
There's a part of the fork which prevents it from getting stuck in a pickle.


bryan
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: matsamu on October 13, 2007, 01:06:09 PM
Sorry...random post: which is kind of what this topic is all about isn't it...hmm...odd...anyway: if you like Nordic mythology, and humor, read this comic from the beginning!!!


http://www.graphicsmash.com//comics/brathalla.php?view=single&ID=11950

It's all about the nordic gods in their younger years. Absolutely hilarious...anyway...if it isn't funny at first (i'm not a big fan of the "first" comic) then keep reading. it gets much much much better. And read up on your nordic mythology. It's funny even if you don't know the characters, but still...it's beter to have some background on it...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on October 13, 2007, 01:26:34 PM
I can barely e-dress myself.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on October 22, 2007, 03:02:29 PM
Damn it, I won't let this thread die.

Ode to the Pasty

Miner's pride
Cheapened by chav
Ginster's whore
I weep for thee
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Wurdsmyth on October 24, 2007, 09:16:38 AM
Ode to the Traffic Cone (aka Colin)

Today, I woke up feeling blue
And stayed that way till nearly 2
When suddenly, outside my home
Appeared a little plastic cone
Called Colin

Don't ask me how I knew his name
Nor seek from whence my new friend came
For all I know is: he is here
And my sad thoughts have disappeared
Thanks, Colin!

Colin, I care not if you
Once lived on the M42
And, with your brothers, caused me pain
When roadworks made me late again
No, Colin!

For all that matters now is you;
O plastic friend of cheery hue,
My loneliness brought to an end
By my bright, happy orange friend:
My Colin!

_________________________________________

Remember, kids: A cone is for life; not just for Wednesdays  :D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on October 24, 2007, 02:52:48 PM
A cheery little gem from our cheery little optimist ;-)

So that's what happened to Colin... The last time I saw him he was falling from the top of a police car at around 2am, whilst the driver and his mate were rapidly departing from one  venue in Southampton on theor way to 'quell a disturbance' at another.  I'm so glad he survived his rather abrupt removal from the roof as they squealed out of the carpark.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Wurdsmyth on October 25, 2007, 04:14:02 AM
Aha, I thought there was something he wasn't telling me... Anyone know any good Cone Therapy courses? I think it might take some time to help Col get through this...

 :)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on October 25, 2007, 09:22:46 AM
No ideas about cone threrapy, but I suspect the poor thing's been living on the streets for some time now, with all the inevitable cultural isolation this brings.  If he's slipped into the company of bad cones during that time he'll need a lot of patient understanding.

Every cone has it's own story.  I know of two who were whisked away one dark and stormy night from their usual support group and travelled for several years with a knightly re-enactment troupe.  Sprayed silver they were forcibly mated with lengths of plastic plumbing and pressed into use as vamplates (handguards) on lances.

Can you begin to imagine the trauma these poor cones underwent?  Instead of standing in steadfast and mutually supportive rows with their mates alongside roadworks etc these two - reluctantly at first, but then with growing enthusiasm for their new lifestyle - thundered up and down the tilt several times a week in front of cheering crowds, guarding the mailed fists behind them.  Adrenaline junkie cones with little chance of ever returning to their previously sane and ordered existence.  I've no idea if they were ever released again into the wild, but, if so, how could such a cone ever again belong in normal cone society?  A new reflective plastic jacket may cover the surface abrasions, but who knows what long term damage lurks under that bright public face? 

So, the next time you see a demented cone merrily cartwheeling and dodging amongst fast moving motorway traffic, diving under the wheels of a lorry and emerging uncrushed, or somersaulting high over the head of a speeding motorcyclist, stop and think.  It may not be the wind which is moving it.  It may an Ex Show Cone, giving in to the adrenaline urge.  Or merely trying to jump aboard a passing horsebox in the hope of re-living the 'Glory Days'.

Colin may be far more disturbed than you realise...

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Wurdsmyth on October 25, 2007, 11:14:15 AM
In which case, Gyppo, it's a good job he appeared outside my house.

Sometimes, even reformed ex-adrenaline junkie cones realise they need help...

Maybe Colin's past caught up with him and he jumped from a passing motorway maintenance truck in a desperate bid for freedom and peace, his world-weary eyes falling on the small sparkly house by the canal. Maybe this time, he thought to himself, as he flew through the air towards the red front door, at this very sparkly, optimistic-looking abode, I will find a loving, understanding, hopeless eternal optimist with a particular gift for attributing human characteristics to otherwise inanimate objects... I have one chance - my last chance - to live out my remaining days in peace and tranquility, watching crazy Brummies drifting slowly by on their gaudily-painted boats...

All I can say, Sir Gyppo of the Witty Comeback, is that I'm glad I could be there for Colin. And maybe there are others like him, who need my help... Maybe my small sparkly house will become a haven for reformed cones...  ;D

...And maybe I should stop procrastinating and try to write something instead!! ::)

Wurdsmyth xx ;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: hellbunnie on October 25, 2007, 11:53:23 AM
I confess that I am a stealer and abuser of Colin's brethren.

I was involved in a small incident of cone-trafficking, where I snatched 2 law-abiding cones from the streets and forced them into slavery as parameters for my sister to practice parallel parking.

Alas, the number of times they were pinned to the asphalt in the name of good driving!

Then they stayed in the garage aka my secret makeshift dungeon.  For two months. :-X
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Wurdsmyth on October 26, 2007, 04:14:41 AM
Well, hellbunnie, I think it's good that you finally confessed. After all, it's the first step to realising the misdemeanours of your youth...

But remember that cones are a strange breed - what we would perceive as cruel conditions our little orange friends see as fun - exciting, even. Think about it: we wouldn't be too chuffed about standing in the middle of the motorway in all weathers, facing the perils of dodgy drivers - but to a cone this is the way they fulfill their purpose in life.

They might have liked it in your garage. It might have been more homely for those cones than you realise. A bit of a holiday for them, even... So don't be too hard on yourself!  :D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on October 26, 2007, 04:33:19 AM
In his Meditations on First Philosophy, René Descartes hypothesizes the existence of an evil genius, a personification who is "as clever and deceitful as he is powerful, who has directed his entire effort to misleading traffic cones". The evil genius presents a complete illusion of an external world, including other cones, to the traffic cone, where in fact there is no such external world in existence. The evil genius also presents to the cone a complete illusion of its own shape, including all cone-like sensations, where in fact the cone has no shape.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on October 26, 2007, 05:38:31 AM
Ah yes, known amongst pseudo-philosphers as the infamous "I cone, therefore I'm gone" hypothesis.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Wurdsmyth on October 26, 2007, 09:43:26 AM
Hmm, Citabria, I see your point. I hope that you're not classing me as an 'evil genius' though!! I am merely offering respite to world-weary cones in need of peace and tranquility in their latter years.

Colin would like to thank you all for your interest in him and others of his ilk. It means a lot to this little cone that so many people are concerned with his welfare. He is also publishing his first book soon - On The Road Again described by The New York Times as 'a heart-wrenching tale of woe, shattered illusions and speeding, interspersed with glimmers of real hope' - coming soon to a WHSmith shelf marked 'Tragic Real-Life Stories' soon. Richard & Judy have booked him for a forthcoming show and, word has it, Oprah may be adding him to her guestlist.

Not bad for a small, ex-adrenaline junkie cone from the desolate motorways of the West Midlands...  :D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on October 26, 2007, 09:56:15 AM
Quote
I am merely offering respite to world-weary cones in need of peace and tranquility in their latter years.

Hah! That’s what all evil geniuses say!
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Wurdsmyth on October 26, 2007, 10:45:44 AM
I'm not too sure I like this besmirching of my good character.  :(

I am a cheery optimist with too much free time and too many things to distract me from writing. I am neither clever enough nor evil enough to be an evil genius; I do not wish to take over the world (I can barely cope with my little bit of it as it is); I just like sparkling quietly in a corner and making people smile.

So there.

(And I thought MWC was a friendly place...) :-\
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on October 26, 2007, 11:02:35 AM

(And I thought MWC was a friendly place...) :-\

It is, but perhaps poor old Citabria has been grounded by bad weather.  A clear sky and a few leisurely 8-point hesitation rolls will pour balm on his troubled soul, then, after a stall turn off the top of a vertical he'll dive back into his more relaxed philosophical dolphin mode.

Question:  Is Colin using voice recognition software to write his book, or are you doing the decent thing and transcribing his words for him?  I think he should write a children's book too.  Colin the Cone Meets Pippi Longstocking sound quite a plausible title.

Or a somewhat darker tale of traffic misdirection,  Colin the Cone & the Road Protestors - The true tale of how Colin and his conical cohorts temporaily and illegally closed two lanes of a motorway whilst the ELFs (Earth Liberation Front) dismantled three giant earth movers one hot June night.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on October 26, 2007, 11:04:02 AM
I am friendly BUT someone has to try and defend these poor cones.

Try and imagine if you were just doing your job, and a drunk came along, placed you on his head and staggered off down the street wearing you. How would you feel?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on October 26, 2007, 11:10:35 AM
Try and imagine if you were just doing your job, and a drunk came along, placed you on his head and staggered off down the street wearing you. How would you feel?

I woud feel ineffably superior to my drunken 'vehicle' ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on October 26, 2007, 11:29:58 AM
Well, i myself am an actor, but we mostly keep our superstitions on the stage...if the name of the scottish play is mentioned by anyone onstage at our school, they are litterally mobbed. We take the belief very seriously. It makes my friend corey incredibly angry. he says we need to test the theory, but i say, "I don't want to die!" so yeah...that's that. Some say that the name can't be said during a show...like in between the dates of the auditions and the closing night, but i say pish...i won't say it the days the shows are, but hey...that's taht...

~Matsamu
I was tempted to tempt fate here but I too, am in a play with my youngest son. We are performing in a building, non compliant with earthquake regulations, that was built in the late 1800's. So, I changed my mind about giving, typing or saying the name.


I'm meeting Children's Book Author, Jan Brett this morning! Whoot! *Does the Happy Dance!

 See you fine folks later. ;D

-Deb
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Wurdsmyth on October 26, 2007, 11:36:06 AM
Question:  Is Colin using voice recognition software to write his book, or are you doing the decent thing and transcribing his words for him?  I think he should write a children's book too.  Colin the Cone Meets Pippi Longstocking sound quite a plausible title.

Or a somewhat darker tale of traffic misdirection,  Colin the Cone & the Road Protestors - The true tale of how Colin and his conical cohorts temporaily and illegally closed two lanes of a motorway whilst the ELFs (Earth Liberation Front) dismantled three giant earth movers one hot June night.

Gyppo

I'm doing the decent thing and helping him - as any sparkly happy optimist would (contrary to some people's belief..)

Liking the darker tale, but Colin opted to focus first on his story to introduce him to the hearts of the public!

And I know MWC is a nice place really, Sir Gyppo, was just a little bit hurt by other comments!  ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on October 26, 2007, 11:52:33 AM
Wurdsmyth

A friend of mine (Ruprecht McRuprecht) runs a cone rescue centre in Lye. He takes in cones that have been abused and gets them back on the straight and narrow (they practise standing on the kerb a lot). The strongest of them, he releases back into the wild.

He has done quite a bit of research and found that if cones are assimilated into human society it can have a detrimental effect on both the cone and its human foster parent.

If you need more help with Colin please call Ruprect on 01384 666-666.

Citabria
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Wurdsmyth on October 29, 2007, 08:01:19 AM
In Lye? Blimey, I had no idea that the town just up the road from me had such an auspicious cone therapy heritage!  :D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on October 29, 2007, 09:23:36 AM
The centre is one of the main employers in Lye since "Mr Dave's" balti shut down.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Wurdsmyth on October 29, 2007, 10:09:07 AM
Fascinating - it's astounding what new discoveries you can make about a place you've known for years...

... but did you hear the rumour that the world-famous 'Mr Dave's' was, in fact, a covert MI6 operation spying on the good people of the Black Country? Word has it that the bods in London were trying to decipher the formula that made BC folks so damned fantastic, using the guise of a humble Balti establishment... Needless to say, they failed and, consequently, Mr Dave's is no more...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on October 29, 2007, 11:59:20 AM
I heard that MI5 established that the way to true happiness was a pint of Banks’s mild and a plate of fagots and peas. So they tested the theory on a few Southerners, who unfortunatley died of botchulism. There was a big Whitehall cover up – they blamed the Russians I think.

As an aside, it was one of the MI5 chefs that first invented the now traditional Indian flat bread – apparently it was his Nan’s recipe.

Citabria
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on October 29, 2007, 12:19:20 PM
I should flog you for that awful pun but I'm about to groove over to the Nanowrimo boards. Have fun while I'm away and yes I will be dropping by to check on you crazy kids occasionally. But I've given myself the task of writing an entire novel in a month. So, I won't be around that much. See you all later.

EDIT
Actually I can stay to flog you but I won't. The Nano site takes so long to load.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Wurdsmyth on October 29, 2007, 01:08:48 PM
The NaNo boards are so slow...I think they may need to retire the hamster in their server's generating wheel... If you fancy saying hi on there my screen name is the same on that site  :)

Happy scribbling

Wurdsmyth
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on October 29, 2007, 01:24:57 PM
Why not? I haven't got any writing buddies yet. Mine the same as well.
Where's the search function on Nano?

EDIT
My Email, why? Damn you hotmail people, I liked the screen the way it was.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on November 11, 2007, 08:37:50 PM
Thought I'd never find this flipping thread. Funny thing is I spent about 10 minutes searching for it when I should be finishing two other projects or spending quality time with my kids.


Enter the guilt.

Wait, I don't have time for that either. ;D

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 11, 2007, 08:49:03 PM
You spent ten minutes trying to find a thread that you've already posted on. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, when will I end the mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm seriously, it's not even funny it';s just a bunch of mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm's going on for a while and a few little bits of stuff in between mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm oh come on ollie that connecting piece didn't even do anything mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm why why why why why whyu why? Do I have so much free time.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on November 11, 2007, 09:00:05 PM
You'd be surprised what a blonde can spend whilst waiting time.

I posted here before? *Bonk*


"Oh, Lucy!"
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 11, 2007, 09:02:32 PM
No I wouldn't, I'm a blond.
Although I've never spent anything here.
Quote
*Bonk*


"Oh, Lucy!"
My thoughts exactyl.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on November 11, 2007, 09:02:58 PM
 ;D

I think my cap may be on too tight...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 11, 2007, 09:04:14 PM
Mine too, but I'm not even wearing a cap. Explain that...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on November 11, 2007, 09:08:39 PM
You say tomato I say tomatoes...Okay, well that won't work either. ::)

Blonde, as I prefer to spell it, is still a correct spelling. It's blond with attitude. ;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on November 11, 2007, 09:09:38 PM
What is that in your avy? Is it a person with a balloon hat?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 11, 2007, 09:14:03 PM
Nope, it's blond with an extra X chromosome. However we have the time to debate a much less political topic. On that npote I have a thank you, this is now the most post on of all the topics I've created becausse of your kind input. Therefore you may dare me to write about anything you would happen to like to dare me to write about.

Now I must explain that I made that sentence too long on purpose to show how important it was. See, a very literary writery technique I juyst used.

My avatar contains no hats but a man with a very 80's haircut.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on November 12, 2007, 12:09:14 AM
Oh really?! Is that some kind of tradition around here? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm....now it's my turn to mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....
hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....let me think of something....and I'll get back to you on it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on November 12, 2007, 05:05:26 AM
Blond = Male

Blonde = Female

Allegedly ;-)

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 12, 2007, 08:44:35 AM
Tradition, I haven't started one here [yet]. But just throw out the silliest dare you can think of and it will be written.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on November 13, 2007, 01:04:08 PM
Okay, thatollie, I've got it. Was standing in the shower, where I get all of my best ideas, and the light bulb went on... ;D


Since you have volunteered, I have a writing challenge for you if you choose to accept it.


Your challenge is to write a script for either a play, sit-com, crime-drama (complete with lawyers in a trial) or talk show using the members of MWC as your characters, host(s) and/or guests.  8)

You have exactly one month to complete this challenge and can either post your script here or make up another thread for it.

Your mission, should choose to accept it is to have fun.

This message will not self-destruct. ;D

~Deb
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on November 13, 2007, 03:12:18 PM
Ollie, I just realized that you are doing the Nanowri, so your date has been extended. We will expect a script by January 1st, 2008. That is, if you accept the challenge. ;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 14, 2007, 02:26:47 AM
I'm sorry, I wasn't listening, I heard shower and sort of drifted off.

Sounds great, will probably start a new thread for it so I can post a link to this one.
I'll probably do a crime drama, I'm a big fan of those. [Incidentally I've already written something containing MWC members]

EDIT: If anyone woulds like to die in this script please PM me.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on November 14, 2007, 04:55:12 AM

Sounds great, will probably start a new thread for it so I can post a link to this one.
I'll probably do a crime drama, I'm a big fan of those. [Incidentally I've already written something containing MWC members]

EDIT: If anyone woulds like to die in this script please PM me.

But no cheating and using 'The Emmerdale Solution', where a plane crashes on the village and kills every character who is unwilling to accept the new contracts offered by the TV company.  'Corporate Manslaughter's' finest hour ;-)

Gyppo

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on November 14, 2007, 12:34:09 PM
Yeah thatollie! *does the happy dance* Sounds like great fun.

Will your crime drama be anything like David Lynch's Twin Peaks? ;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 14, 2007, 12:35:24 PM
Depends on how many PMs of death I receive.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 14, 2007, 04:07:22 PM
Come one, come all. Let's all get killed for thatollie.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on November 14, 2007, 04:29:19 PM
Come one, come all. Let's all get killed for thatollie.

Well...  If you want to play the numbers game...

"Here's twenty thousand Cornishmen all lining up to die.
Young Ollie he's a murderous sod
and he kills them on the fly,
but here's twenty thousand Cornishmen
who'll know the reason why."

[Can be sung - if you really, absolutely, insist - to the tune of the Cornish National Anthem, Trelawney.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 14, 2007, 05:40:10 PM
Where am I going to find 20,000 flies for them to ride into my death machine? After all, we didn't get a summer so my fly stocks are a little low.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on November 14, 2007, 06:00:59 PM
You're the writer.  You sort it out ;-)

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 14, 2007, 07:17:28 PM
The truth can be slightly less normal.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 15, 2007, 09:53:22 PM
In my next novel there is a funeral for a coffee shop, if you'd like to attend, please just say so.


Pointless thatollie fact
The 1,000th post in Association Plus is my puke.
Don't let that thread die [and this one for that matter.]
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 18, 2007, 08:40:33 PM
If bananas could talk, what would their voices be like. I've always thought they'd sound like Allan Arbus.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on November 19, 2007, 11:49:12 AM
Bananas would have a low, slippery baratone...I think.

Why would a banana talk and who would it talk to? What would it say?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 19, 2007, 08:59:46 PM
They talk to the lonely and the confused, psychiatrists of the fruit world, no?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Narnian Prince on November 19, 2007, 09:02:05 PM
And what "fruits" would be rendered to the lonely and confused category...?   LOL!!!  :D  (We could, rhetorically speaking, open a real can of worms here... LOL!!!)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 19, 2007, 09:07:09 PM
Never ever say that we could be opening a can of worms, or any such metaphor for trouble. Talking about the thread kills the thread, I've seen it happen.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on November 19, 2007, 09:07:38 PM
They'd probably just witter on for hours about fruit flies, and make fun - whilst being secretly envious - of those who were hung in a nice airy 'banana hammock' as opposed to just shoved in a fruit bowl along with apples, an unfortunate yet commonplace juxtaposition which causes them to over-ripen far more quickly than they should.

And they'd probably talk in hushed whispers about 'black sheep of the family' who became 'deeply involved' in the 'adult film industry'.

Or talk in even more deeply hushed whispers about being swallowed whole - sans skin - by some long distance racing cyclists who will gulp down two or three bananas before a long stage for a slow energy release.

But apart from that, I can't imagine what bananas would find to talk about.

Oh, they're probably colour prejudiced as well.  I expect the 'Perfect Yellows' look down upon the lowly greens and the past their sell by date browns and blacks.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 20, 2007, 08:23:48 AM
Moving on, moving out and moving off my arse. I'll be back in a moment with something witty. After I use the toilet.
Gee, that was.... [finish this sentence, I can't be bothered.]
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on November 20, 2007, 08:46:00 AM
I knew that word I invented - ollieplop - would come in handy.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on November 21, 2007, 12:00:11 AM
Moving on, moving out and moving off my arse. I'll be back in a moment with something witty. After I use the toilet.
Gee, that was.... [finish this sentence, I can't be bothered.]
Are we changing this to the too much information thread? ;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on November 21, 2007, 12:10:48 PM
Every now and then all threads get visted by some erudite coprolite wishing to freely disperse open source manure as an aromatic scatological overlay to a previously fertilizer free area ;-)

Sometimes it just happens ;-)

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on November 21, 2007, 02:41:09 PM
Gyppo, does erudite coprolite translate to learned, fossilized scat?  :D



Sometimes it just happens ;-)

Gyppo
Indeed it does. You just have to be in the right place when it does. ;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 21, 2007, 05:06:19 PM
It may not be the prettiest way to reach your word count goal for the day but I've just taken a sledgehammer to the fourth wall, verbal diarrhea non?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: McWawa on November 21, 2007, 05:18:09 PM
It may not be the prettiest way to reach your word count goal for the day but I've just taken a sledgehammer to the fourth wall, verbal diarrhea non?
He took a dump ?   metologically speaking.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on November 21, 2007, 05:29:05 PM
He took a dump ?   metologically speaking.
Or rather, he left one.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Cathy C on November 21, 2007, 06:39:15 PM
Man! The tone has really gone down hill here, hasn't it? ;D

Guess the name says it all. ::)

Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!

Ok, I have FAR too much free time and you know what.....

I get less done now, than I did when I was working. :'(
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on November 21, 2007, 06:53:25 PM

I get less done now, than I did when I was working. :'(

Injecting a small moment of seriousness - this often happens ;-(

Now feel free to resume 'normal' service.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Cathy C on November 21, 2007, 06:57:58 PM
RRRRRRRrsssssssssssppppppppppppp
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 21, 2007, 08:28:20 PM
Quote
RRRRRRRrsssssssssssppppppppppppp

Recipe? I didn't know we were on the kitchen staff today. Never mind, I'll go wash my hands [note to all, I always wash my hands directly after using the toilet, I'm washing them again because I always wash them before cooking. Just in case the dump post and the washing of hands post hours later confused you.]

Well, this was a poor post.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Cathy C on November 21, 2007, 08:33:47 PM
Quote
Well, this was a poor post
.

Hee, hee - just read the ones above - should make you feel better. ::)

I'm more concerned with:

Quote
Never ever say that we could be opening a can of worms,

Why, oh why, TO, would we ever want to open a can of worms?

Chinese- maybe

Pizza - ok

But worms!!! - not in my life time :P



Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 21, 2007, 08:38:35 PM
NP said that discussing the occupations of the fruit world would be a metaphorical opening of a can of worms. In my experience talking about the contents of a thread usually kills it. You want proof, I'll go dig out a thread that I discussed and killed in the process. But only to try and get people to save another of my beleaguered threads.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Cathy C on November 21, 2007, 08:46:30 PM
So, you're not only gonna DIG out the worms, you're gonna KILL them too? ;D

*Bold, To* :P
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 21, 2007, 08:50:08 PM
Nope, I'm going to dig out a thread that I unintentionally killed.
I liked this thread
http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=9204.0
And it was snatched from the world of regular posting so cruelly.

And if that wasn't enough fun try this one, I'm not sure which one it is though
http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=11129.0
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Cathy C on November 21, 2007, 09:02:18 PM
Quote
Nope, I'm going to dig out a thread that I unintentionally killed.
I liked this thread
http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=9204.0
And it was snatched from the world of regular posting so cruelly.

 ;D  ;D ;D

'Turning the phrase...' - not a bad thread - but it died a death! (It happens :-\)
liked this:

Quote
"a hedgehog's addiction."

To know why I'm laughing, you need to ask the duck, or the Squirrel, or maybe the Munki???? ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 21, 2007, 09:04:49 PM
Nope, I get it now. But at the time member nicknames weren't my thing.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Cathy C on November 21, 2007, 09:07:41 PM
Hee hee, mine either, seeing as the ones involved have buggered off.

Very hard to take over the world when it's just you and the Squirrel - no fun! >:(
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 21, 2007, 09:09:15 PM
And whatever I am.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Cathy C on November 21, 2007, 09:19:14 PM
Hmmmmm.... what could Ollie be? ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 21, 2007, 09:33:30 PM
I shall be the Liverbird.

(http://www.liverbirdology.com/pix/odd02%20copy.jpg)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Cathy C on November 21, 2007, 09:36:27 PM
Jeeze! Feeling old - I almost remember that series. ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 21, 2007, 09:36:59 PM
Series?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Cathy C on November 21, 2007, 09:39:17 PM
Hee hee

or:

RRRsssssssssssspppppppppppp
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 21, 2007, 09:40:47 PM
Oh, was it a cooking show?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Cathy C on November 21, 2007, 09:43:35 PM
 :o
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Cathy C on November 21, 2007, 09:44:18 PM
I'm pleading the 5th here - on the grounds that it might show my age. ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 21, 2007, 09:47:19 PM
The fifth, the fifth, incites my pith.

And yes, I know that makes absolutely no sense.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Cathy C on November 21, 2007, 09:50:11 PM
It does - you are an orange and you hate your rights being violated!

Or maybe you work down a mine?

Darn, it's too late for me
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 21, 2007, 10:20:05 PM
This seems like the only appropriate place to ask this.
We don't have a computer chair, so I've been stuck using a dining chair when I use the computer and it's killing my back.
So I got a deckchair from the garage, but it's too low to see the screen properly.
So what do I do? Short of using the computer less.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Lin on November 22, 2007, 05:01:53 AM
What time in the morning should I start my housework?

Lin x
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 22, 2007, 05:04:55 AM
1 pm
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Lin on November 22, 2007, 05:46:15 AM
Any more suggestions I think 1pm is a good time but it might stress me out cos I havent done it

Dear Agony Aunt,

Have you any suggestions about cleaning the stairs, which day of the week is best?

Regards
Stress buster
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on November 22, 2007, 08:32:58 AM
NoneDay.  (You won't find it on your calendar, but it's the perfct day for housework or any other unpleasant chores.)

Ollie.  Re chair.  If you have a local recycling facility, go there and have a nose around.  I got my swivelling gas lift office chair for £3.  In really good nick too.  Always worth looking.

Otherwise you need to get up and move around a bit more often.  A dining chair shouldn't really do your back in.  I used one for years before getting the posh swivel.

 
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on November 22, 2007, 12:39:27 PM
Random thoughts...

I always miss my extended family the most on Thanksgiving. We used to have so much fun when we all got together. They've all wised up and moved far away from Smog Angeles County.  :( My husband's family doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving together.

Is there a holiday that you really enjoy spending with your extended family?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: matsamu on November 22, 2007, 01:55:15 PM
I know how you feel...my mother just had back surgery, and most of my family is longdistance. Which means she can't go very far...
We were invited to go to a local restaraunt that gives food to the old and decrepit on thanksgiving...i guess my mother makes us all decrepit (she doesn't even cook, so i don't know what the issue is...)

Well, i hope your day gets better friend! I'm off to eat decrepit food!

~Matsamu
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on November 22, 2007, 02:12:08 PM
Thanks Matsamu. Enjoy your decrepit food but more importantly, enjoy the company while you can. Decrepit or not.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on November 29, 2007, 09:24:35 PM
Here I come to save this thread from chit chat.
BTW: I'm also campaigning to save this thread.

http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=7975.0

Go there now and save this thread.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on November 30, 2007, 03:07:29 PM
Here I come to save this thread from chit chat.
BTW: I'm also campaigning to save this thread.

http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=7975.0

Go there now and save this thread.

Save it from chit-chat? It is the 'Too Much Free Time' thread, is it not?

Do kids make crank phone calls where you live?


Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on November 30, 2007, 03:39:48 PM
They used to when I was a kid.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on November 30, 2007, 08:00:35 PM
Like this one?

Hoax Caller (HC):  "Could I speak to Mr Wall?"

House Owner (HO):  "Sorry, there's no Mr Wall here."

HC:  "How about Mrs Wall?"

HO:  "There's no Mrs Wall here either."

HC:  "Okay, how about Jackie Wall, Peter Wall, or even Harry Wall id no-one else is there."

HO:  "Listen!  We have no walls here."

HC:  "What?  No walls at all?"

HO:  "No!"

HC:  "Bloodt hell.  Then you'd best get out quick before the roof falls down." 
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on November 30, 2007, 09:45:47 PM
Always late in arriving. Sigh.

Although I like chat, I'm usually told I'm full of chit.

My son taught the ounger neighbor to ring the doorbell and run. At the same house. Several times. Amazingly enough, they got caught.

Do phone solicitors count as prank calls?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on November 30, 2007, 10:01:58 PM
Do phone solicitors count as prank calls?

No, but they count as something else that begins with a "P" and ends with a "K" if you know what I mean.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on December 01, 2007, 01:34:41 AM
Quote
Save it from chit-chat? It is the 'Too Much Free Time' thread, is it not?
Sure but the conversation was getting dull, chit chat is boring, several crazy people rambling for no reason is much more interesting.

I also needed a line to segue into my point.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on December 01, 2007, 06:10:07 AM
You had a point
<<< scrolling back and desperately seeking a point
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on December 01, 2007, 06:28:20 AM
I have a theory that Ollie is a genetically modified louse that was hatched in Gyppo's beard. Through osmosis some of the Gyard's (Gyppo the Bard) writing talent entered the louse (probably while breast feeding) and the result is the creature we see before us.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on December 01, 2007, 06:45:07 AM
All that from a porpoise that lives in the sky, unseeing and unseaing.

Why, exactly, is the dolphin "swimming" with the sun? I'm so confused. I'm American, you know, so I have that as an excuse.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on December 01, 2007, 07:12:53 AM
SpC

Don't take the avatar so literally. It is a symbolic heraldic coat of arms. The dolphin represents the spirit of the Citabrian's, the sun (rampant) is a new addition only added to the arms in the 19th century when the family spawned their first philosopher (Mercurio Citabria). Murcurio was the first person to coin the phrase, "she thinks the sun shines out of my arse" and hence the sun was added to the shield in recognition of his contributions to etymology.

Citabria
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on December 01, 2007, 07:21:49 AM
So I looked Citabria on Wikipedia and found this (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citabria)

I wish MY name was on Wiki world. But NOOOOO SpChick brings up nothing, even my usual SpCheck brings up the page that says "What in God's name are you doing? Can you not spell or are you just making things up, you silly git."

I guess the only way for me to get to Wiki is to actually publish a wonderful book. That seems like so much work.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on December 01, 2007, 07:31:19 AM
We don't talk about the American Citabrians. They are the black sheep of the family. They claim that Citabria is the word airbatic spelt backwards. Have you ever heard anything so silly? The word is aerobatic not airbatic so spelt backwards it would be citaborea which just sounds like some foul disease of the bowel.

Cita
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on December 01, 2007, 01:58:40 PM
Man! Where are my boots? It's getting deep in here. ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on December 01, 2007, 04:48:04 PM
I have a theory that Ollie is a genetically modified louse that was hatched in Gyppo's beard. Through osmosis some of the Gyard's (Gyppo the Bard) writing talent entered the louse (probably while breast feeding) and the result is the creature we see before us.

"All men dream....

But the dreamer of the day acts his dream with eyes open and in so doing makes it a reality.  Such men are dangerous.  Or perhaps just totally deluded.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on December 03, 2007, 07:54:50 AM
Bumping the thread, and pimping out my new one.
http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=11578.0
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on December 03, 2007, 01:56:19 PM
This is from the time I got so frustrated with my nanonovel that I just ranted until I felt better.

They laughed and something, they began to think that the author wasn’t taking the story seriously any more. Well what do you expect, writing is difficult. In fact, I think I should give up, I got really far and have nothing to prove. I’ve made my point, I can write a lot in a month, it’s just that others can write more. Why am I still typing then? I’m not sure, II don’t really have anything better to do, I’d hate to rant like this for another fifteen thousand words but if I have to I will. I’m making a stand against the damn novel, you don’t get to die until I say you’re dead, understand.

Perhaps I should draw a line over this chapter and put Pete back into the assassin clan, after all, it’s more interesting than my ranting or the story I’m supposed to return to. Why must I break the fourth wall so often? Yep, I’m ranting to get back on target, and then I’ll draw a line over this chapter and everything will be fine.

This leads me delicately to another idea, I really need to get some breakfast, after that I should be more inclined to write good stuff.

So I’ve eaten and I’m feeling a little better but I’m going to continue to whine about how hard writing is until I get at least close to my one thousand six hundred and sixty seven words per day goal, yes I did write it out so I’d be a little bit closer, and write about how I’d written it out to make me even closer and this rant about it so I can get just a smidge closer to my goal. I love the word smidge and other words like pastiche and portable and wrought and hose and almond, that’s why I became a writer, because certain words are just awesome.

Enough, I have ranting to do. I’m really an expert at ranting, it is one of the things that sets me apart from most people, I think I should check my word count for this chapter. One thousand one hundred and eighty five as of the end of that sentence, I’m really getting close to making today count as a good writing day, about five hundred today, that should see me reaching my word count goal by the middle of chapter twenty two. How does that make you feel, everyone who said I couldn’t do it, everyone who… who am I kidding, everyone thought I could do it, because I’ve done it before. Why can’t I just get on with the story and finish it. You know this happens to everyone, I don’t get to feel unique in my despair, as Neil Gaiman said. I can’t even think of an original thing to say about my plight, how sad is that?

Well, I’ve been ranting for several pages and this may be one of my better rants, shame I was feeling like quitting and now I’m close to reaching today’s goal. I can’t quit yet if I’m consistently reaching the goals. Why do I have the ability to rant my way out of a situation, when I should have, by now, the ability to suck it up and get to work? Another page of ranting is coming to an end, that means I have another page to write on.

And here it is, a new page for me to spoil with my shitty ranting, at least I have a nice hot cup of tea to help me through it. I’m checking the counter thing so often that it’s decided to just be friends. Why did I just type that? It wasn’t funny or clever, then again, I’m wondering if I’m clever or funny as well. One big paragraph into this page and I’ve said nothing at all. Does anyone still doubt my ability to rant?

I’ve officially ranted for six hundred words, that is rather sad if you think about it, I don’t think, I just type. Well, perhaps it may be time to draw that line I was talking about earlier and get on with chapter twenty two. That should make me feel much better about being a writer. Then again I have an idea, if I’ve ranted for longer than I’ve ever ranted before, does that not show a definite increase in skill level? Am I a better writer or just a better ranter? I’ve seen some things in the story that would be encouraging if I hadn’t broken the fourth wall so often. What’s the fourth wall I hear someone ask [because I’m insane, there’s no one in here with me.]? The fourth wall states that an author shouldn’t intrude on a piece of writing. I don’t know what the other walls are; perhaps when I’ve ranted away my word count goal, I’ll look it up. Oh wait, my internet is screwed for some reason.

Otherwise I’d be ranting at someone who’d be there to listen. I’m ranting way too much, it becomes a habit. Verbal diarrhoea or something, some people have it incurably. I don’t want it, it leads to info dumping on your readers. So I’ve almost ranted to the nine hundred word mark, which means that I’m only another three hundred and thirty words away from the thirty five thousand word mark, where I’m supposed to be by the end of the day. This isn’t encouraging news, I’m supposed to get there by writing.

I may just get there through ranting and draw the line I’ve been talking about way too much. This would give me the greatest rant I’ve ever heard of. So much for variability as well, this rant contains so many repeated words that I’m not sure why it has lasted this long.

I’m almost at the end of another page, it may sound unusual but I’m feel a lot better just because I’ve written out my problems and now I can move on. Thank you for not judging me, how can you, you’re just a screen with no emotions, no thoughts, no sense of humour. No wonder people fear you.

I need coffee, this ranting thing has affected my brain and I’ll never stop unless I get up and do something else. But why should I stop, perhaps this is the novel I was supposed to write, the one where a young country boy writers through his personal problems and learns that it was his writing that caused them all along. I already know all of this but continue to write for some reason anyway.

So I’m only another hundred words from my word count goal, I’ve officially ranted my way to the next milestone, or I will have in a few lines time. I still can’t shake the feeling that this should be a good sign, it seems so ominous that I’ve ranted for one thousand words. Perhaps it’s a sign that I’ve improved but I’ve said that already, I like to keep my rants fresh and unexpected.

I mean, come on, what kind of ranter repeats them self; you wouldn’t catch me saying the same thing over and over and over and over and over. That isn’t good rant etiquette, you have to deal with a range of things that annoy, bore, frustrate, and keep us from our goals. Like the damn cold water that ran down my back while I was in the bath, which was really irritating. I’m trying to have a nice hot bath, because we don’t have a shower, another thing that annoys me, and this cold water was dripping down my back, I got a cold shiver every time I leaned backwards.

Another thing that really annoys me is that when I look up a book on the library finder thing, go to find it and it isn’t there. I mean it’s supposed to be there, and I got my hopes up, and then I get disappointed, why is that allowed to happen? Someone should call Benjamin Franklin and tell him that this is going on. I would but I don’t know his number.

This has gotten out of hand and must stop, good day to you screen.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on December 03, 2007, 02:23:52 PM
I started a thread about computer tips but I forgot where I put it. This rant reminded me of another tip and so I will put it here.

In Microsoft Word, it is possible to move the buttons on the toolbars around and add or delete them.

Go to the Tools menu and select
   Customize ...

A Dialog Box opens. There are tabs in that box.

Select the Commands tab and a menu appears
Select Tools under the Categories: side

A bunch of things appear. You can scroll down and find the option called Word Count...
Drag that up to a toolbar.

Now, when you want a word count, simply click on the button that sits on the toolbar. If you only want a portion counted, highlight that portion.

You can move any buttons around. If you don't want them on the toolbars, drag them to the dialog box and drop them there.
You can move them around or take them off or add the ones you want when the Customize box is open.

Patti
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on December 03, 2007, 02:24:43 PM
I already have those features on.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on December 03, 2007, 04:33:41 PM
I wonder if this will be a good year for strawberries.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on December 03, 2007, 04:39:16 PM
I don't think so, its a wee bit colder this winter than previously.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on December 03, 2007, 10:03:44 PM
We spent Saturday night (the coldest night of the year) camping out with the Cub Scouts. We were sitting around the campfire and it was my turn to share, tell, read, or sing something for the group. I started reading a ghost story that I thought was a different story which would have been much more appropriate for the under 10 group. By the time I was committed halfway through the story, it became clear to me I had definitely picked the wrong story. Realizing my faux pas, I tried to improvise a little. In the end, after I had finished, one of the fathers got up and said, "Interesting." Then took his son and went to bed.  :-[  Somehow, I don't think he liked my ghost story. Wonder if his little tyke slept okay that night.

I guess I'll see if I get the cold shoulder at the next Scout meeting. His wife and I sit on several committees together....on our wazoos. ;D

Anyway, I know I didn't sleep a wink that night because some bonehead family kept their radio up way too loud all night in their tent. ::) When we got up in the morning there was frost on our chairs and the windshield of our minivan. It was flipping cold!


Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Wurdsmyth on December 04, 2007, 09:00:09 AM
Eek! Sounds like an interesting camping experience all round for you!  :o

But, major respect to you for not just braving the Great British Winter but also the assembled throng of under-ten year-olds and their parents! I stand in awe...  :D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on December 04, 2007, 12:47:57 PM
Quote
But, major respect to you for not just braving the Great British Winter but also the assembled throng of under-ten year-olds and their parents! I stand in awe.
I think Deb's camping was a wee bit closer to home, I'm sure she didn't fly all the way to Britain to camp.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on December 04, 2007, 06:37:32 PM

But, major respect to you for not just braving the Great British Winter but also the assembled throng of under-ten year-olds and their parents! I stand in awe...  :D

Reminds me of a school trip to a farm.  One of the younger female teacher was blocking a doorway to keep the younger kids out.  I assumed a couple of animals were doing what comes naturally.

Face bright pink she beckoned me over.   "Could I borrow your large hairy presence for a while?  Will you just stand here for a minute and loom threateningly in the doorway for me.  Some of the older kids seem to have misunderstood the purpose of a 'petting barn."  She chivvied the youngsters away and I 'loomed' large enough to dampen the ardour of the horny little thirteen year olds in the shadowy corner ;-)

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on December 04, 2007, 09:16:33 PM
Ollie is right Wurdsmyth, I'm closer to central California and we had 29F weather that night. Very unusual. I'm lucky that way. ;) Thank you nonetheless.



What I'm in awe of is the young female teacher actually asking, "Could I borrow your large, hairy presence for awhile?"

Since you strike me as a gentleman Gyppo, I'm sure you complied graciously. This same sentence given to a different member of this forum (I'm not naming names) ;D could have been taken to a whole other realm of comprehension.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Jezzica85 on December 04, 2007, 10:54:04 PM
29 degree weather?! Argh! I'm a warm weather person. At the moment it's 21 degrees where I am, though--lots of snow and very very cold. Makes me feel like I'm 90 years old, and that's 68 years older than I am (you do the math, haha). Brrr... Cold icy tundra--not my idea of a good time.

Jezzica85
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on December 05, 2007, 03:21:28 AM
Quote
What I'm in awe of is the young female teacher actually asking, "Could I borrow your large, hairy presence for awhile?"

Since you strike me as a gentleman Gyppo, I'm sure you complied graciously. This same sentence given to a different member of this forum (I'm not naming names) Grin could have been taken to a whole other realm of comprehension.

... which leads on nicely to the topic of scrotum shaving. Someone (I won't mention who) tried to suggest to me that this (habitual scrotum shaving) was not an unreasonable thing to do. I am not convinced it is even possible once a man reaches a certain age.

So what are you views?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on December 05, 2007, 04:22:37 AM
With a cut-throat razor and the unsteady hands of advancing age it would seem rather inadvisable. 
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on December 05, 2007, 06:29:36 AM
Sounds like it could be marketed as an

At Home Vasectomy Kit

and sold for a profit.
(red colored font chosen for a reason)
(why do y'all put that unneeded u in color?)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on December 05, 2007, 06:44:15 AM
It's the way we were raised, it seems more natural to me than color. Doesn't look right.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on December 05, 2007, 06:49:19 AM
Webster (dictionary guy, not orator) simplified American spelling. He also wrote spellers and grammar books and helped to promote the idea that children learn incrementally at are better prepared at certain ages to learn certain tasks. I think it was Piaget who formalized Webster's theory.

But then he did some really silly stuff, too.

Colour looks humourous to me.   LOLOLOL
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on December 05, 2007, 06:53:12 AM
Laughing out loud out loud out loud, you also do silly stuff.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on December 05, 2007, 07:05:25 AM
SpC

Of course Ollie is right, it is just what you are used to to. Color is just as silly as colour because if you didn't know you would have to assume it was said Coe Lor. So if your chappy Webster had been sensible he would have changed it to Kulla wouldn't he. If he wasn't prepared to do that then why bother dicking with it all? ;D

Cita (AKA Sir St. John)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on December 05, 2007, 07:14:42 AM
Gr8. I wndr wht we


it's just too hard. I don't really know how to text message. I do know that all extra letters are cut out. I just cringe when I see r for are and u for you in real writing. But I suppose I have to accept that along with neologisms. Language is a living thing.

I heard that once upon a time it was a criminal offense to split an infinitive and one could receive the rope for the crime.

And then Star Trek had a five year mission to boldly go where no man had gone before and the poor infinitive was forver divorced and left in ruin.

I hear the alimony payments drove thet poor thing to the brink and he died in debtor's prison, alone, cold, and forgotten.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on December 06, 2007, 08:49:43 AM
This is the kind of constructive and creative thing you can do with too much free time.

http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=8723.msg122206#msg122206
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on December 06, 2007, 08:53:44 AM
I so wish Ollie would put his avatar into a response so IT was large enough for me to see.

It looks like blue gumby legs with a moon helmet swirled around by an air hose to my poor eyes.

I really wish I could see better, but I'm old and infirm and weeping now in pain and misery. Wishing, deparately wishing, that just once I could see what that dang thing looks like. I'm sure it is interesting, but for the life of me, I can't see what it is supposed to be.

It's not like a dolphin swimming in the sky with the sun over it's not shoulder, not looking where it is going, but that's okay cuz there are no other dolphins in the sky.

See why I don't include a picture?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on December 06, 2007, 02:53:15 PM
I've always wanted to see that old Ollie AVY too but now he's gone and changed it to Emilio GQ Estevez. I thought it was a balloon hat. Will we ever know?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on December 06, 2007, 03:04:19 PM
Deb

You jest! I thought that was Ollie! That is just how I pictured him.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on December 06, 2007, 03:23:00 PM
Me too, actually. I think Ollie is more of a heartHRTob than Emilio. No jesting, I really believe that.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on December 06, 2007, 03:35:47 PM
You are so right! Shame about the accident.  :'(
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on December 06, 2007, 03:45:48 PM
Accident? Was that when he harmed his favorite member? And then we had to guess who was hurt and in (the) hospital, dying even as we typed?

Or was it the accident when he thought that a rugby ball wasn't a ball and that rugby players tossed bags of laundry about the field. And then he learned that "scrum" wasn't a bad word?

Or are we talking about when he had dined with Rolf and Sir Nigel and they stiffed him for the check and he had to wash all the dishes and he cut his finger on a carving knife and bled to death on the kitchen floor without anyone coming to his aid?

Or was it when wombats carried him away to the Station and he Dared people to do things and yet never Dared to do it HIMSELF and he was assulted by a well aimed keyboard that smacked him upside the head and produced an overwhelming desire to type and so he entered a fiction writing challenge and posted something in PM from Right Here at Challenge 36 (http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=11512.0)?

How was that for a segue - shamelessly hunting for writers

Patti
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on December 06, 2007, 05:40:31 PM
I can't say too much about the accident, but if you ask yourself why he only has one chopstick, then you will be on the right lines.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on December 07, 2007, 12:22:06 AM
I hope he's not too banged up to reply. What kind of cookies does he like?

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on December 07, 2007, 02:52:13 AM
He doesn't eat cookies on principle, but he likes chocolate biscuits.

BTW in the US what is a biscuit? I have seen people in films ask for biscuits with gravy and it sounds disgusting.

Cita
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on December 07, 2007, 06:51:45 AM
Biscuits are NOT cookies on this side of the pond. Biscuits are flaky dinner rolls. The are more like bread, but less fluffy and have no yeast in them.

Chocolate biscuits sounds disgusting. Cheese biscuits are very good.

I made chocolate cherry cookies yesterday.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on December 07, 2007, 07:25:12 AM
Did you know we have cookies here too? They are a specific type of biscuit.

As final course with dinner, do you have cheese and biscuits? Or do you have cheese and cookies?

Cita
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on December 07, 2007, 07:33:38 AM
Over here in the New World, cheese is more often an appetizer rather than a dessert, although there are people who put a slice of cheddar cheese on their apple pies. I don't know why. Ruins both the cheese and the pie if you ask me.

Cheese biscuits would be eaten with dinner.

I am reminded of the leering look my husband will get when he murmurs, "Want some dessert" and I'm becoming just a little shaky here. I may be getting the vapors, even.

Do you remember the song by Starland or Starlight or Something like that Vocal Band called Afternoon Delight?

I actually think of cookies as more of a snack than anything else. My sister and I used to bake about 3,000 cookies, a dozen nut rolls, make some Bishop's bread which is a really good fruit thing, and several flavors of hard tack candy each year for Christmas.

I'm down to just six kinds of cookies his year. Unless my family talks me into more. None of the other stuff, tho.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on December 07, 2007, 09:59:17 AM
Quote
and he Dared people to do things and yet never Dared to do it HIMSELF
I've done almost all of those dares, most of them before the thread was created.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on December 07, 2007, 10:13:27 AM
Quote
Over here in the New World, cheese is more often an appetizer rather than a dessert

Not sure you invented the idea. The French do that. That's why we have it after dessert, just to be different from the French.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on December 07, 2007, 11:53:49 AM

Do you remember the song by Starland or Starlight or Something like that Vocal Band called Afternoon Delight?

Starland Vocal Band, circa '76 ;-)

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on December 09, 2007, 10:53:42 PM
Quote
That's why we have it after dessert, just to be different from the French.
Does this mean that all Americans would prefer to be French?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on December 10, 2007, 03:03:59 AM
Well Bushy obviously would. He would love to be Queen of Franceshire, Europeland.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on December 10, 2007, 05:59:22 AM
Well Bushy obviously would. He would love to be Queen of Franceshire, Europeland.

But only if it was relocated to The Republic of Disney.  ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Lin on December 10, 2007, 08:52:40 AM
Ive never been to Disney - am I a poor relation?  I always wanted to go but my parents couldnt afford it and now I can - Im glad I didnt!!  Well secretly maybe Id like to see Mickey Mouse.

Lin
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on December 11, 2007, 08:19:43 PM
Does this mean that all Americans would prefer to be French?
Don't let a true American Patriot hear you say that.  ;)

Is it true that the French invented the artery clogging French fry to kill off the ugly Americans or is that what you call a small French child?

What is with all of these things French?

Then what about the French kiss?
The French Poodle?
The French knot?
Mr. French?
B.S. Good French Tyres...no, wait. That was B.F.GoodWrench Tires.
French onion soup...What is a French onion then?
French horn?
French Open?
French Revolution?
French connection?
French orthography?
French phonology?
French toast?
French braid?
French lover?
And the American's say, "Pardon my French." Why is that? It doesn't even resemble French.

Bonne journée !    ;D



Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on December 11, 2007, 10:35:40 PM
French surrender flag?
I didn't see that
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on December 12, 2007, 03:14:34 AM
Quote
Then what about the French kiss?

If you insist. Meet me behind the bike sheds in 5 minutes. Here's an English one to be going on with  :-*
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on December 12, 2007, 09:04:16 AM
Quote
And the American's say, "Pardon my French." Why is that? It doesn't even resemble French.
It's about naming a more vulgar country than your own.

English say, "pardon my American."
Americans say, "pardon my French."
The French say, "pardon my Italian."
And all the way through the list until the Welsh say, "pardon my Scottish."
The Scots say, "F*** You."
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on December 12, 2007, 09:34:47 AM
Quote
English say, "pardon my American."

 :D

Deb

In case you didn't know Ollie was joking, BUT, from this day hence I shall now use that phrase whenever I say 'dude' or 'OK' or 'mother hubbard'.

Alternatives to Deb's list:

American kiss - involves kissing while eating a doughnut.
The American Poodle - Tony Blair.
The American knot - Bush's written reply to his accusers. 'I did knot.'
Mr. American - Schwarzenegger.
American onion soup - Ingredients: A dozen burgers, 1/2 cup of warm water and a pinch of onion.
American horn - wood.
American Open - a mouth.
American Revolution - bastards! We were robbed.
American connection - an extremely strong belt buckle.
American orthography - Doh!
American phonology - Doh!
American toast - fat bottoms up.
American braid - D Bunch.
American lover - Any bloke without a foreskin that is solvent.

 ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on December 12, 2007, 03:43:45 PM
Cita,

Although I found your post entertaining I have to say...

I have never kissed while eating a donut! I've never even heard of this before. French, American or otherwise. :P Rosie O'Donnell may be able to pull that one off though.

You know, we ugly Americans aren't all that bad. It's the wealthy ones and the ones in politics you gotta look out for. ;) Most of us don't like our president any more than the rest of the world does.

Entertaining, nonetheless.


Quote from: thatollie

link=topic=10524.msg123948#msg123948 date=1197468256
It's about naming a more vulgar country than your own.

English say, "pardon my American."
Americans say, "pardon my French."
The French say, "pardon my Italian."
And all the way through the list until the Welsh say, "pardon my Scottish."
The Scots say, "F*** You."

Ollie,
I loved this. I have family and a few friends from Ireland who might feel left out. Nah. On second thought, they're Irish. 'Nuf said. ;)

....A little something I found on the web:

                              This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever.
                                                                                           Sigmund Freud (about the Irish)
My grandfather is Irish and that be so true of 'em.


There have been many definitions of hell, but for the English the best definition is that it is the place where the Germans are the police, the Swedish are the comedians, the Italians are the defense force, Frenchmen dig the roads, the Belgians are the pop singers, the Spanish run the railways, the Turks cook the food, the Irish are the waiters, the Greeks run the government, and the common language is Dutch.
David Frost and Anthony Jay

He left out "Where American's run the judicial system."

What about the Ugly Americans? Where did that come from or rather who do we have to thank for that?

For the record, I have no prejudices and am hoping no one is offended by the joking here. To me this is like harmless teasing of one state to another Texans, Californians, New Yorkers, Floridians, short, tall, blonde, red-headed, bald, hairy, old, young, etc. 'Tis all the same to me when it's only good natured fun. Yanks, Feds, Oakies, Cajuns, Aggies and Hillbillies. Heaven forbid we not be politically correct in the US. ::) Is the rest of the world as paranoid as we are about making fun of each other?

Personally I believe 'politically correct' is an oxymoron.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on December 13, 2007, 08:31:35 AM
The Irish aren't on the list for a reason, no one in their right mind would insult them, and neither would I.

Unfortunately, sigh, we also have the PC brigade in England. I agree that some things aren't meant to be said but it's getting ridiculous.
These words aren't OK [pardon my American],
******, *****, ****, ***, ******, ****, *****, ****, ****, *****, *****, ***, ****, **** & *****.
But there should be a limit to what can be censored.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on December 13, 2007, 09:21:54 AM
I don't remember where I saw it, but I read about some ditzy United States citizen who was worried about blacks in Barbados or England or Some Other Place. She thought it was horrid that they were called "black" and wanted them to be listed as "African-American" and saw no problem with that at all. The fact that they weren't American and probably quite grateful for it never entered her tiny, little brain.

Euphemisms take all the sting out of words that perhaps could and should retain some sting. I would much rather get the sympathy due anyone who has been "fired" rather than the horrid "down-sized" which results in the same economic disaster, but without any sympathy attached.

Words carry power and I think that too much of their power is being stripped away in the spirit of downright stupidity.

Patti
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on December 13, 2007, 09:33:00 AM
Quote
Words carry power and I think that too much of their power is being stripped away in the spirit of downright stupidity.

The Spirit of downright stupidity, I sense a story there.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Writers Block on December 13, 2007, 10:20:17 AM
I dislike Political Correctness.

Not for what might be the obvious reasons, but more the case it allows prejudiced and bigotted people to hind behind it. It doesn't change anyone's mind. Only frank, honest, and open discussions where other participants are treated with respect does that.

Quote
You know, we ugly Americans aren't all that bad. It's the wealthy ones and the ones in politics you gotta look out for.  ;) Most of us don't like our president any more than the rest of the world does.

Politicians seem to be pretty much the same no matter the country they come from. And, sadly, a good number of the rich too. Although it's unfare to 'tar them all with the same brush', that is just as prejudiced as anything else.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on December 13, 2007, 11:58:15 AM
You're
Politicians seem to be pretty much the same no matter the country they come from. And, sadly, a good number of the rich too. Although it's unfare to 'tar them all with the same brush', that is just as prejudiced as anything else.
You're so right. I was jesting.

There are good and bad seeds from every walk and flavor of life. That's what makes it all so much fun to watch. I've heard rumor that there are even a few honest politicians and lawyers. ;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on December 13, 2007, 01:53:35 PM
The Spirit of downright stupidity, I sense a story there.


And in the Spirit of Downright Stupidity, I give you - the world.

the end
scroll credits
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on December 13, 2007, 05:15:46 PM
Thanks, I haven't ever been given the world before.
I have however won the Internets.
Don't ask me how or why, I don't know.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on December 13, 2007, 05:25:27 PM
Now you own the world perhaps you can answer a question which has been puzzling me.  If all the world's a stage, where do the audience sit?  Or isn't it a stage at all?  Have I been acting out my life in the garden shed of the gods, or somewhere equally mundane?

Gyppo 
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on December 13, 2007, 07:44:20 PM
All the world's a dressing room for your final performance.
Sorry I'm not on form tonight, I've been Editing [I hate that word].
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on December 13, 2007, 07:48:52 PM
I quite like that one ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on December 13, 2007, 07:51:31 PM
Perhaps I learn to like it, I'll be doing a lot of it for the foreseeable future.

Quote
foreseeable
This is a more favourable word in my opinion.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on December 13, 2007, 11:29:55 PM
Falling under the category of "too much free time," I auditioned for another play and got the part I wanted for a production in March. I will play the character of a juicy, evil woman by the name of Widow Murk. A small part, which is perfect considering current circumstances but made even better because she is a villain. Villains are fun to parts to play.

The play is called Hide and Shriek by Tim Kelly.
   

                 ***
Quick anecdote:

I had just finished reading the e-mail, that there was no need for a call back, I nailed the part during the audition and it is mine. At that moment, my husband walked in the door from work. In my excitement, I bounced out of my chair to give him a welcome home hug and kiss and to tell him the good news.

Me: "Hi handsome! Guess what? I get to be the widow!"

He looks at me as if it hadn't really registered.

Our oldest son laughing, "Wow Mom, that's great. Nice."
 
My son and I look at each other and begin to laugh even more heartily at the absurdity of the comment.

Me to my husband still laughing: "I'm sorry Honey, I didn't realize how that sounded. What I meant was, I got the part I wanted for the play - you know, the wicked widow."

My husband, completely deadpan, "I was just about to ask how you were planning to do me in."


       
                ***

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on December 18, 2007, 08:56:16 PM
Now then, Now then, what's all...
I'm on the wrong sound stage.
Sorry for ruining your take.
I'll just be, I have no idea where I'm going, where's sound stage nine?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on December 20, 2007, 09:46:20 PM
Gather round everyone, I'm going to rant.
I have two conspiracies to sate the growing need for them.

I'd like to thank SpChick for opening my eyes to this one.
Like all great conspiracies, this one is about America scamming Britain.

The Root Beer Conspiracy

On American TV there's invariably a character who drinks Root Beer.
In British supermarkets this drink comes in six packs.
It tastes like Germoline, that's a fact, I know of 4 Brits who've said this, myself being one of them.
Those are the facts, they cannot be argued against.
This is a conspiracy, Root Beer exists to annoy Brits.

= = = = =
= = = = =

If the English contingent feel burned by that, this will make you feel better, it's about American Christianity.
As an English Atheist I will receive twice the enjoyment from this one.

The pillars of American Christianity

The pillars of American Christianity are Jesus and Superman, both of these men are Jewish.
Fact.

= = = = =
= = = = =
I apologise for the shortness of the second piece, the facts were so clear that I had nothing else to write about.
If anyone believes I'm Anti-American, trust me, I'm not. I could've posted a piece that would have had, "thatollie is Anti-American,"  being screamed from rooftops.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on December 20, 2007, 11:48:59 PM
I love root beer. Superman doesn't do much for me though. ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on December 21, 2007, 01:14:04 AM
I despise both Superman [this does not make me antisemitic] and root beer.
Moving on, because it was just something that needed saying and nothing more.
I cannot sleep, every two minutes I have to get up to make a note. I'm having a creative night.
= = = =
EDIT
Because I can't sleep, I decided to do something pointless and stupid.
I have enough posts on the Word thread alone to be a hero member.
That's how much free time I have, but wait, some members have probably got more than me.
I'll bet Gyppo has because I've been avoiding that thread for a while and he posted on it before me.
So, to be even more pointless, I searched though 293 pages to find my 500th of the thread.
http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=6521.msg97214#msg97214

More pointless stuff.
The 1000th post on association plus was my "puke"
The 2000th, me again with "connection"
Story idea "The puke connection"

The post that made me a hero member.
Word "fart"

That was completely pointless and took hours of mindless scrolling.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on December 28, 2007, 12:41:30 AM
Don't feel too bad Ollie. I won a contest with the word fluff...still not as bad as your Hero Member post. Snicker... ;D

Did you have a nice holiday?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on December 28, 2007, 12:53:30 AM
Sure. I'm a little bored at the moment though.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on December 28, 2007, 06:04:27 AM
Whilst digging about my nanonovel for a scene to put for review, I came across something I thought I should share.
We've talked about the Allan Arbus banana before and now, here's a quote.

= = = = =

“By all means, tear the flesh from my body, but will you be able to eat me when I tell you that bananas shit their pants before they get eaten.”

“No way,” said Pete sitting on the bed as comfortably as it would allow.

“Why do you think there’s always a mushy part at the bottom?”
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on December 28, 2007, 05:50:36 PM
I didn't know bananas wore pants! :o
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on December 28, 2007, 06:12:20 PM

Quote
I didn't know bananas wore pants!
Yellow neoprene ones.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on December 28, 2007, 06:58:47 PM
Nothing like a yellow neoprene bulge to make a girl swoon.



Sheesh! did I just write that?   ::) 8) No wonder Santa forgot me this Christmas.  ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: matsamu on December 29, 2007, 10:12:17 PM
No man has felt the shame and gratification of those pants until he gets excited onstage with a pair on...

(Matsamu speaks from experience in this post...) Yeah...i know, it's creepy, but i had to wear a frog patterned (warty/splotched) pair for a musical i was in, maybe some of you englanders have heard of it? Honk? Well, i was the bullfrog, and wearing tights with a hard....ahem....not a fun time.... (especially with a solo....)

~Matsamu
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on December 30, 2007, 12:19:04 AM
That is too funny Matsamu. I don't know how you guys walk around with those things between your legs anyway. What a constant distraction. I'm so glad I'm not a man. I would have never made it through puberty.   :o  :) :D



Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on December 30, 2007, 12:23:26 AM
Quote
I would have never made it through puberty.

Most of us don't.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 01, 2008, 04:33:27 AM
This space was an amusing anecdote that I may turn into a publishable short.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on January 02, 2008, 07:52:03 PM
Are you teasing us Ollie?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Cathy C on January 02, 2008, 08:26:05 PM
Hmmmm, teasing and Ollie in the same sentence.... ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 02, 2008, 08:48:23 PM
Yeah, I mean I never tease anyone.

EDIT: except for Cita.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Cathy C on January 02, 2008, 10:30:06 PM
oooh, liar, liar pants on.... ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 02, 2008, 10:31:08 PM
Quote
oooh, liar, liar pants on...
Backwards.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Cathy C on January 02, 2008, 10:33:39 PM
And you wonder why you waddle like a duck? ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on January 02, 2008, 11:12:17 PM
oooh, liar, liar pants on.... ::)
Backwards.
Are they yellow neoprene too?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 02, 2008, 11:14:06 PM
Yep, to look more like a Duck, apparently.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on January 02, 2008, 11:14:52 PM
Why did I know that was coming?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Cathy C on January 02, 2008, 11:15:10 PM
 :P
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 02, 2008, 11:16:17 PM
Quote
Why did I know that was coming?

Because you've been paying attention, I wonder if anyone remembers my rant about paying attention. Was that on this thread?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on January 02, 2008, 11:17:12 PM
I'm too poor to pay attention. I give it attention. :D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 02, 2008, 11:45:27 PM
This entire section of the conversation came from the deletion of a piece that I now think I shouldn't have deleted.
Perhaps I'll repost.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on January 03, 2008, 12:00:50 AM
Please do.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 03, 2008, 12:01:36 AM
I have a torch that you charge by winding a gear on the bottom. I looked at it and thought, "That looks like a fishing reel."

So today, I stood in this room that I'm in now and I got the torch, cast off from the perfect bank into the perfect river. I stood there smelling the fresh summer air, swatting gnats, tossing back a brew and watching my line intently and then I fell in the river.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on January 03, 2008, 12:08:19 AM
Whatever the intentions of that post, it brought this girl a much needed, guttural laugh. ;D ;) Thanks for sharing Ollie. :-*
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 03, 2008, 12:10:09 AM
I'd much prefer making you laugh, especially when you need one, than attempting and probably failing to sell it for it's cheap worth.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on January 03, 2008, 01:41:03 AM
Soggy shoes and socks or was it a full body fall?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 03, 2008, 01:44:05 AM
Think water spilling out of my imaginary MacLean Stevenson hat.


(http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:QJyNEJxDyfeZOM:http://www.nndb.com/people/851/000031758/mcs5-sized.jpg)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 04, 2008, 09:49:10 AM
I am inventing a new holiday, Feaster, it shall be [the same day as] Easter for people trying to watch their figures. Instead of chocolate you shall eat Figs.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on January 04, 2008, 10:54:05 AM
I expect the day after Feaster will be Flatulence Tuesday.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: CaddyJ on January 04, 2008, 11:15:43 AM
That celebration can start on the bored walk.  ;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 06, 2008, 03:55:52 AM
I was looking through my old posts and found this.

http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=9010.0

lorraineofkeli: i've lost the plot now

thatollie: Well don't worry about losing the plot. I was staring at something shiney when They were handing out plots. [I still haven't figured out who these mysterious "They" are. They seem to be in charge of everything.]

H.T.Lewellyn: Of course they are, Ollie, that's why they're known as "They".

thatollie: I was going to put Them in my next novel but ultimate power is sooooo last century.

H.T.Lewellyn: Indeed. However, a passing mention of Them is fine occasionally.

DC: P.S. Ollie, I have a similar problem in that when 'They' shouted 'Brains', I thought they said 'Trains', and got on the last one...

thatollie: At least we were all in line when They shouted "sense of humour" Although I think some members cut in front when I was chatting to a pretty girl.

= = = = =
Ah, the good old days.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on January 06, 2008, 06:53:52 AM
Plot? You mean ficiton is supposed to have a plot?
Where can I purchase one? I've started writing some fiction.

Boy this writing stuff is hard.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 06, 2008, 06:58:54 AM
Ask Nick, apparently he knows somewhere you can buy one for 50 cents. Of course he only reveals that piece of information if you buy his $50 CD-ROM.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on January 06, 2008, 07:02:27 AM
Knowing me, I would probably get some used plot. Sigh. Marked down on the sale rack thing.
That's how I got my kids.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 06, 2008, 07:04:38 AM
Quote
Knowing me, I would probably get some used plot. Sigh. Marked down on the sale rack thing.
That's how I got my kids.
And there's a perfectly usable plot in that post I'm sure of it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on January 06, 2008, 07:09:56 AM
Hey - I just got an idea.

I'm setting up a small shop, maybe just a little cart actually - like a Victorian Era flower seller's cart - and I'm going to sell plots. Crappy plots to be sure, but plots nonetheless.

"Get your plots here. Come and get your plots. Fresh off the slime pits. All genres, all styles. Come and get your plots. 6 shilling each."

What's a shilling worth? Do they even make them anymore? I can shill for shills.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 06, 2008, 07:14:06 AM
That's 72 pence in Shire reckoning, about $1.08 in your cash.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on January 06, 2008, 07:15:55 AM
Probably a little more than they are worth, but ...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: McWawa on January 06, 2008, 07:18:13 AM
There was a brand of Christmas cracker which came with plots, though few realised this and the most just assumed that they were the usual  bad cracker jokes with plastic thingies. Many an aspiring author brushed them aside at the Christmas dinner, put on their paper hat and missed another golden opportunity.


bryan
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 06, 2008, 07:39:46 AM
Find the name now, or you'll be Yelling Wawa a lot louder.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Quandary on January 06, 2008, 08:07:16 AM
And here I was thinking they only came printed on the bottom of pint glasses...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 06, 2008, 08:08:40 AM
Only if a writer with Plot bunnies disease drinks in the same establishment.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on January 06, 2008, 08:09:36 AM
Funny word, Plot.

You can have a garden plot. (Which isn't a plan for gardening).

You can have a cunning plot (Which is closely related to the 'cunning plan' as often mentioned by Baldric in Blackadder, and could perhaps, with a stretch of the imagination be a garden plot where a 'Cunning Man' grows his various herbs for potions etc.)

A ship's navigator can plot a course.  (Which - of course - has nothing to do with either gardening or cunning, unless he's a smuggler in which case his plot may well be cunning in the sense of crafty or devious, which, in turn, has nothing to do with craft skills, or even 'The Craft'.  Although his vessel may be referred to as 'a craft'.  Why the bloody hell did I start this meandering bit of nonsense?

You can lose the plot. (Which may involve just a temporary dislocation from reality, or full blown madness.  Sometimes, as now, it feels just a few keystrokes away...  Or a junior navigator may put the chart away in the wrong drawer and also temporarily lose the plot. 

Or you can also have the kind of plot we writers are more familiar with.  But that's dead boring unless you sneak down to the street corner and buy one from that 'Shady Lady with the dodgy plot trolley.  (I've just had a thought...  Perhaps that's what Jeffrey Archer was really doing when he handed over the still unexplained £5000 cash in a brown paper bag to a woman in the street who he claimed he had never met before.  I've always thought it was a publicity stunt, but maybe it was a simple plot purchase.)

Here's a plot idea for anyone who wants to run with it.  The Shady Lady isn't selling fiction plots from her trolley, she's selling 'Life Plots'.  Selling a pre-ordained life that the purchaser can step into as easily as stepping into a new pair of shoes.  The snag is that you can't get back out until you're dead, and the original you, with your old dreams and aspirations is trapped inside too.  As with the infamous 'Brown Acid' man from various festivals, you can never be sure what is being sold to you.  Sweet dreams or nightmares.

If someone wants to take that idea, shake and twist it a little, and do their own thing, feel free ;-)

I'm now 'plotting a course' towards the toaster, where my cunning plot involves Marmite on toast, lemon tea, and perhaps some cereals as well if they're still edible.  If not I may 'lose the plot', open the back door, and hurl the offending Crispies/Soggies out into my 'garden plot'.  At which point, as it spreads across the ground from the split packet it could be called - (Really Bad Pun Alert) - 'A Plot On The Landscape!

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: McWawa on January 06, 2008, 08:21:26 AM
Continuing with the many types of plot; depending on what one has previously eaten, one can have just as likely have plot as plop.




bryan
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 06, 2008, 08:23:24 AM
That, was, not, as, over, punctuated, as, an, unlucky, soldier.

YelNickMcWawa has ruined my post, three cheers for the bryan.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: McWawa on January 06, 2008, 02:46:41 PM
Ruined ? Not at all, as some of the best ideas come to us when we are seated  in the smallest room.

But if i've offended i'll remove myself from the thread.

Bryan
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on January 06, 2008, 07:10:56 PM
Aww....an evil plot (secret plan) indeed. ;) No ruin here.

I think I stepped in plot once. Does that count?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 07, 2008, 04:55:02 AM
No, stay Bryan.
Deb, it's entirely likely you stepped in plot.
Whenever I do, I can never the stain off my trouser cuff.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on January 07, 2008, 07:17:35 AM
That's because it's an organic dye, like blackcurrant juice ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on January 07, 2008, 07:34:14 AM
As I try to come with plots, I feel a little organic die. Sigh.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 07, 2008, 11:04:02 AM
I'm going to change the subject, because I can.
The Lord of the Rings, which I have just finished reading, is likely to have been about communism.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on January 07, 2008, 11:29:44 AM
the Wizard of Oz was written about economic systems
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on January 07, 2008, 11:42:57 AM
The Last Tango in Paris was, on the whole, about the dangers of misusing dairy products.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on January 07, 2008, 12:34:11 PM
Absolutely, but under those circumstances, could anyone tell Stork from Butter?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on January 07, 2008, 01:22:58 PM
Perhaps, if there were some toast crumbs in the butter  :-\
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on January 07, 2008, 05:15:35 PM
Ouch! ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: matsamu on January 08, 2008, 07:11:26 PM
I'm going to change the subject, because I can.
The Lord of the Rings, which I have just finished reading, is likely to have been about communism.

dude...totally started reading it again during holiday season cuz my gramma didn't have anything but that and lots and lots of romance novels (what my dad likes to call "polite porn")

So i finished the first book in another state, read the second one on the way home...and got new books from the public library before finishing the third...i should finish it...though i've got a while before we go back to wisconson...sweet...

I'm reading "Welcome to Eudora" odd book. magic (very little) and romance and nosiness. (if that's a word)
anyway.

"A year in the merde" was about how not to step in dog s**t in France! (if you haven't read it yet, and you know a smattering of french, this book is hilarious!)

~Matsamu
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: wizard7wolf on January 09, 2008, 09:33:48 PM
Sorry to interupt the conversation, but I've had too much free time on my hands and I thought I'd put this little bit of nothing on the thread.

Do we dare? Oh yes we do. We dare.
Let us consider a moment, the mind unbound.
A fortress with its gate thrown open? Or an old screen door, swaying in the breeze on rusty hinges?
Oh how cliché.
A box never opened, it’s label faded and peeling.
A small swimming hole with unknown depths.
Who’s to say hmm?
Let us wander the fields in open moonlight, gazing at the reflection of the sun.
The moon is but a glassless mirror with a face of its own.
Maybe another time my fellow realm-walker.
For now is reality, and ever more possibility.

So once again you sit before me, lounging atop your throne of superiority. When was it decided that you were better than I? I seem to have missed that meeting. And by what parameters was this decision made?

Even as I consider my own words the answer is revealed: It is my decision. So funny (not funny ha ha) to think that I am the maker of your vision of me. I suppose that is the essence of vanity. The quest for complete manipulation over other peoples view of you. Then again a wise man once said that it is the attitude of the observer that determines individual perception (or something to that effect).

So let me reconsider the question of when was it decided that you were better than me. Is there really such power in ‘first impressions’?

“Let us consider a moment, the mind unbound.” The old man paused to let the statement hang in the air a while. “Is a human mind limitless in it’s potential? If so, what exactly is it that holds us back? Where is the line drawn, and can it be crossed?” The old man slowly paced around the raised speaking platform. His hands folded behind his back and measured speech gave the impression that he had considered and discussed this topic many times before; which was after all, quite true.

 

Stare at his nose
Grey hair like wires
Tiny hands reaching out
Clutching pieces of dust
Disgusting

Wallpaper peeling for a while now,
dusty flowers faded in dry heat.
On the other wall so different.
Watermarks stretch down in
slow tides of sickness.

Did you ever see the road?
That glitters in the moonlight
Like a thousand tiny diamonds
To take you in tonight

Did you ever see that lonely road?
The one that leads to starlight
With a thousand tiny diamonds
To take you into night

Another whiff of decay caught in Henry’s nose. He sighed. He always sighed when he smelt it and as always the thoughts came back. At first it was the ache in his heart, the knowledge of what he was. This would linger for sometime until he was distracted by something, anything. Next door, through the thin plaster, came slow, dragging footsteps. The old lady, Henry still didn’t know her name.

He could picture her there, shuffling about in her kitchen, grey hair hovering about her head like a tired cloud, empty eyes looking over a full sink. Dirty dishes, ash trays turned into disgusting mountains, broken sherry glasses and a sad sorry cloth floating in stagnant water. Sometimes she had someone come over and clean up. Henry thought it must have been a grandchild because he could hear the young voice chirping away about inane, meaningless things, dotted with excited giggles. He never heard the old lady reply though; in fact he had never heard her speak at all. She must pay well enough.



Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 09, 2008, 09:57:32 PM
This time mon ami, I don't think I have an apt response. Yet, how could I have an apt response with my time being marshaled by a novel that reveals it's secrets slower than your old lady? I haven't the time free time to respond properly.
The use of the crossing out function on this post caused a thought.
What uses could the Wizardly Wolf find for it in his poetry? I look forward to seeing if you can.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on January 09, 2008, 11:36:21 PM
Hi Wizard7wolf, I liked what you wrote here. A good use of too much free time.

So once again you sit before me, lounging atop your throne of superiority. When was it decided that you were better than I? I seem to have missed that meeting. And by what parameters was this decision made?

I know a few people I could use this on but I refuse to kowtow to their interpretation of their own superiority. :)

Saying that made me feel so much better. Thanks Wizardwolf, for the inspiration.

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: wizard7wolf on January 10, 2008, 09:34:07 PM
Ah-ha a challenge!
Now please keep in mind I whipped this up in fifteen minutes on my lunch break

To tell her what I really felt
would be dragging a serrated blade
across her skin, and mine.
So I whisper lies like feathers.

I do not love you anymore.
When I see you I cry in my lost happiness.
I wish you never chose to leave with me.

I could not hurt her, or myself
So I smile like a gambler
who lost his fortune,
and whisper lies like feathers


Ps. Now worries DGSquared, sometimes it's better to say what needs to be said (even if it's to another person)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Big T on January 10, 2008, 09:50:15 PM
Ah-ha a challenge!
Now please keep in mind I whipped this up in fifteen minutes on my lunch break

I am, of course, expecting something from you for poetry comp #10 ....  ::)

"Whisper lies like feathers"... great line!
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 11, 2008, 03:46:11 AM
That was pretty much what I was expecting, good stuff though.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 11, 2008, 10:21:37 AM
So, I challenged the wizard-wolf to write a poem using the cross out function. I've used the colour feature here.
http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=12170.0
Eventually I want to use all the buttons.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on January 12, 2008, 06:08:48 AM
Time Stood, still wondering why his parents gave him such a crappy name.
= = =

"Excuse me," he said. Looking at her with blue eyes, "where's the bathroom?"

Incensed, she said, "this is a courthouse."

He laughed, mostly to abate the swelling sensation. He turned to go, "then it's a good thing I don't know where the bogs are."

= = =

To those of you that will be lamenting my departure for Nanowrimo.
Never fear, I'll be posting my picture upon this very thread. I'll prove I have the most free time.
So Print it, Frame it and worship it while I'm away. If you want to...

= = =
Self conversation

"You did not just go there."

"OH I went there. I went there, came home, drank some juice and returned to piss all over what I'd done the first time."

= = =
If any of the above made sense, I urge you to seek medical help. Try a chiropractor, they have nothing better to do.

I sought help as you advised. The shrink paid me to leave. He said I needed to change my mind. I asked him what was wrong with the old one. I paid him $50, he gave me $100 and said, "Keep the change!" I think I've found a new vocation to send shrinks on vacation. ;D

Now, where is that picture you promised us?


Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 16, 2008, 11:27:47 PM
Quote
Now, where is that picture you promised us?

It converted to a cult and has broken off all contact.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on January 17, 2008, 03:38:07 AM
Sounds fishy to me Ollie... :D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on January 17, 2008, 10:35:24 AM
The cult of the Ollie-Fish?  Soundy distinctly dodgy to me.  Makes the 'Moonies' sound normal.  It's probably just as well all contact has been broken off.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 17, 2008, 11:48:53 AM
Yes, I completely disagree.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on January 18, 2008, 01:25:09 AM
No, you do. ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 18, 2008, 01:28:10 AM
Yes, I don't. Perhaps I could if I had some money. Perhaps I will anyway.

Maybe might be Mabel mattress seamstress. Stress Stress Stress.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on January 19, 2008, 01:09:30 AM
Mabel should undress-The naked seamstress - seems free with no stress to bounce on the bed naked.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 19, 2008, 07:15:11 AM
This is getting out of hand, no one has actually said anything since
Quote
It converted to a cult and has broken off all contact.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on January 19, 2008, 09:47:45 AM
This is getting out of hand, no one has actually said anything since

Of course not, Dear Boy.  On this forum we type.  We don't speak.

Gyppo 
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Don on January 19, 2008, 09:02:42 PM
I think the discourse has gotten off course. 
Anyone for a course correction?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on January 19, 2008, 10:30:02 PM
As long as it is a 'course correction' and not a 'course of correction'.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Don on January 19, 2008, 10:47:35 PM
'Course of correction' sounds like an elective for student prison guards. 
'Course correction' sounds much friendlier.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 19, 2008, 11:42:29 PM
I think, "course of self correction," provides us with a happy alternative. Which this thread has happily done with Don's help[. I would like to personally thank Don for repairing such an important/pointless thread.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Don on January 20, 2008, 12:01:11 AM
Ollie, you are entirely welcome.  I have little else to do with my free time...and I have so much of it.  *sigh*
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 20, 2008, 12:04:46 AM
Scoot on over to the bar because I've worked out a way to buy you a beer and then have you cover my tab for the rest of your life. It's very interesting.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Wurdsmyth on January 23, 2008, 10:45:50 AM
Yay, congrats to all our multi-talented MWC scribes!
Are shorts optional attire to choose whilst reading the book?  ;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 23, 2008, 10:46:56 AM
Depends how good you look in shorts.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on January 23, 2008, 11:10:36 AM
I'm now picturing our 'smiley little optimist' dressed in shorts and some kind of vaguely generic 'sun-top' lying curled up on a beach (in the Summer, not now) reading Station Shorts.  But... still wearing the trademark wooly hat of her avatar.

There are times my imagination disturbs even me.

There you go, Miranda.  Write a song about Summer Shorts & A Wooly Hat ;-)

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 23, 2008, 11:14:04 AM
That's not disturbing, a writer of your [cough] experience must have written at least three more disturbing things than that.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on January 23, 2008, 12:56:11 PM
I didn't say it was the most disturbing.  But at least it was a pleasant if somewhat surreal image.  Takes my mind off the bloodshed elsewhere on the boards ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 23, 2008, 01:12:50 PM
Yeah, I'm walking away from that right now, perhaps I'll return to take notes on how certain kinds of conflict affects certain people but nothing more.

So that I never have to see the thread that ruined the station for me ever again, I'm posting my disclaimer here.
Quote
Mark, IF this gets back on the publishing trail, please for the love of god exclude each and every one of my shorts. I no longer wish to be associated with this "team"
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on January 23, 2008, 03:51:50 PM
Ollie my dear, :)
 
I think that would be a big mistake.  :(
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 25, 2008, 09:41:41 PM
This has got to be one of the most clever
E-mails I've received in a while.
Someone out there either has too much
spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one!)


DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM



PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER



ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER



DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT



THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE



GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE



THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS



SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME



ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY



ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT



SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S



A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE



THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE



ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE












AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
(and my personal favorite)cw

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on January 25, 2008, 11:03:27 PM
Very clever indeed.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on January 26, 2008, 05:10:40 AM
Talking of anagrams...

This one may not do much for readers outside the UK.

VIRGINIA BOTTOMLEY = I'M AN EVIL TORY BIGOT

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 26, 2008, 07:02:10 AM
Clever, I found her on Wiki and thought this was hilarious, this is her official title. Baroness Bottomley of Nettlestone, ouch.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on January 26, 2008, 03:02:38 PM
'thatollie'
anagrams to
'Title halo.'
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on January 26, 2008, 06:16:16 PM
There are websites that actually will anagram any old thing you put in there. Some are rather hilarious, some are just words.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on January 29, 2008, 08:40:43 AM
Fork it

At lunch I was loathe to find that my usually delightful wrap was not going to happen. I gazed longingly at the empty shelf until my stomach began to complain, "I can't eat what isn't there."

So I scouted about for something else and came across a Chinese takeaway on the market. Sitting with my meal and the utensil given I plunged it into a pepper, and nothing happened. I had been given a spork. For those of you who don't know, a spork is the bastard child of the noble Fork and the whorish Spoon.

I threw away the useless object and went to my father's shop, "can I borrow a Fork?"

I took the thing they gave me without looking [and why should I, I did ask for a Fork] and went to sit down, poked at a piece of chicken, and nothing happened, again.

A Fork, a Fork, my kingdom [or at least the contents of my bag] for a real damn Fork.

Looking at the utensil in disdain I found myself grasping another damn spork. I got up and went back the shop, "I asked for a Fork. Can I please have a Fork? A real one, a metal one."

I waited with my hot meal going slightly less hot as I held it until he brought out the most beautiful Fork I have ever laid eyes upon. A long, lean Fork with four perfect prongs. I sat, I skewed, I devoured. It was the most brilliant Forkplay of my life, this truly was the Fork I wished to spend my meals with for the rest of my life. The meal itself was an unsatisfying mess, but that doesn't diminish the skill of my Cutlery Control.

And so ends the tale of Ollie the Fork-finder.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on February 12, 2008, 03:33:27 PM
That forking piece has ruined this thread.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Wurdsmyth on February 13, 2008, 09:01:03 AM
Maybe we should start a thread on Inspiring Inanimate Objects Ollie...  ;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on February 13, 2008, 10:37:02 AM
So start one.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Wurdsmyth on February 13, 2008, 11:39:58 AM
Just did.  :P

http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=12778.msg144626#msg144626 (http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=12778.msg144626#msg144626)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on February 13, 2008, 11:40:24 AM
Already looked in.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on March 10, 2008, 04:59:18 PM
What happened here? We cannot let this thread rest. If you have some free time...here comes one more shameless promotion....

Please come join the fun in Poetry Challenge #11 right here http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=13013.0 (http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=13013.0). PM your entries to me by midnight GMT March 20, 2008.

It's fun, an challenge like no other, (this is not your typical poetry challenge) anonymous (unless you win or want to identify yourself afterward) and it's a good exercise for your noggin and your writing muscles.

Thanks!

~Deb

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on March 10, 2008, 10:15:47 PM
As you suggested elsewhere, that I outdo myself once again, I have, but it isn't poetry [again].
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on March 11, 2008, 04:28:57 AM
Ah ha! I see...finally. Took me long enough. ::) I'll go read it now then again tomorrow after I've had some sleep.

~Deb
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: fire-fly on March 11, 2008, 05:24:16 AM
Ollie I just read Dave the Donkey again and it made me laugh hysterically again, thankyou.  ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DC on March 11, 2008, 05:52:14 AM
I was wandering my happy way to work last night, when I had a thought.  I do my best to avoid them, but the odd one does penetrate my defences every now and then. This one seemed to have been generated by some TV programs I’ve been watching lately.
 
One of these, a couple of days ago, was the Horizon program about exo-planets. It seems that there could be several Earth-like planets within, say fifty light-years of us; our local neighbourhood in Galactic terms. The two they concentrated on were actually only twenty light-years away, if I remember correctly.

Now, it is possible that some of these Earth-like planets, support life. Possibly intelligent life. And we’ve been listening for signals from extra terrestrials , the ‘SETI’ project, for over fifty years now. We haven’t heard anything yet, but that could just be that we haven’t pointed our antennae in the right direction, and/or that it isn’t sensitive enough. I doubt the latter.
 
But it occurred to me that, as well as listening, we’ve been sending signals ourselves for over fifty years. First with Radio, then later with TV. So it’s possible that any civilisation out there that is more advanced than us could have been listening to us, even watching us, for the last twenty or so years. Hmm, I wonder what they think of ‘Coronation Street’, or’ East Enders’?

But perhaps more important, there could be several planets' worth of viewers out there, all watching, without a TV  license!

I wonder if the BBC are aware of this?


Dave. Not the Donkey.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: fire-fly on March 11, 2008, 06:04:25 AM
You really do think when you put your mind to it, Dave not the Donkey  ;)

Could be an intergalactic law suit at some stage do you think?  ;D

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DC on March 11, 2008, 06:11:43 AM

Could be an intergalactic law suit at some stage do you think?  ;D



Hmm, the nearest galaxy, (apart from those in the confectioners) is Andromeda, about 2 million light-years away, so a tad early for an intergalactic lawsuit just yet. But an interstellar one might be in range for some enterprising brief...

Dave.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: fire-fly on March 11, 2008, 07:05:00 AM
I am not very up to date with the magnificance of our Universe am I Dave.  ;D

It was an interesting read anyway.. ;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on March 13, 2008, 03:24:39 PM
Fun piece Dave.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on March 19, 2008, 01:46:05 AM
Quote
if I am you then how can I be a wizard and a wolf?
This is a quote from page one of this thread, during November I took pride in parodying my own MWC post.
I'd forgotten about this one.

“If you are me then I am you, so how can I be a monkey and a baritone?”

= = = = EDIT
This line is a little cliched but I like it...

“there’s no need to be so courteous. I could have killed you a hundred more inventive and enjoyable ways already.”
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: dynodreamer on March 20, 2008, 04:18:46 PM
implying

indicating

inferring

worrying

excruciating

vindicating

relying

scurrying

...and that's just within the perimeter of my dreams

(You should hear me when I wake!)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on March 22, 2008, 10:48:37 PM
Today I had a dream that I was an artist, when I woke up I tried to make it so.
Today I had a daydream that I was a writer, oh wait, something something dark side.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Michaels Reflection on March 23, 2008, 08:02:26 AM
thatollie stole the cookie from the cookie jar
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on March 23, 2008, 01:06:16 PM
I had another dream, this one is very frequent.
I'm lighter than air, mostly at night. I usually just float a few feet off the ground, trying to get somewhere, but because I have no grounding, I can't propel myself anywhere.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: dynodreamer on March 23, 2008, 01:18:22 PM
I had another dream, this one is very frequent.
I'm lighter than air, mostly at night. I usually just float a few feet off the ground, trying to get somewhere, but because I have no grounding, I can't propel myself anywhere.

I would lobby for hydrogen propulsion. As long as it's raining you'll never be powerless.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: fire-fly on March 25, 2008, 03:44:30 AM
I was sent a series of these puzzles and thought you might enjoy looking at one. Have fun. The question with this was "Do you see only one Deer?"
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: chillies on March 25, 2008, 04:45:26 AM
Quote
I was sent a series of these puzzles and thought you might enjoy looking at one. Have fun. The question with this was "Do you see only one Deer?"

I see three deer, but that could have something to do with the medication.

chillies
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on March 25, 2008, 05:38:06 AM
I think it's three, but I'd need to get closer and be sure of the third before deciding to shoot ;-)

This is a clever bit of artwork but it has often amazed me in real life how an animal - or human - can be stood in plain view yet be hidden against a suitable background until, with a slight shift in the focus of your eyes, or a change in the light, they become so obvious it seems impossible you didn't spot them immediately.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on March 25, 2008, 05:53:41 AM
I can only see 2 deer (and 1 wombat).
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: fire-fly on March 25, 2008, 05:55:33 AM
Very deceiving isn't it. Right click on it and save as so you can get a better look. I have a few more if you would like me to post them. Makes the eyes work overtime.
I think it's three, but I'd need to get closer and be sure of the third before deciding to shoot ;-)

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: fire-fly on March 25, 2008, 05:56:29 AM
I can only see 2 deer (and 1 wombat).

Not many pick up that wombat Cit  ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Mark H on March 25, 2008, 05:59:20 AM
That is a sound bit of advice. If you see a wombat, DO NOT pick it up.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: fire-fly on March 25, 2008, 06:03:44 AM
They pee, scratch and bite in that order usually. ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on March 25, 2008, 09:09:17 PM
OK, so I'm seeing 5 deers.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: fire-fly on March 25, 2008, 10:59:25 PM
How many horses?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on March 25, 2008, 11:01:05 PM
You mean apart from the giant one they're standing on, right?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: chillies on March 26, 2008, 04:06:27 AM
I can't see any horses. However, there does appear to be a very beautiful cow winking at me in a seductive manner.

I wonder if I have to change my medication.

chillies
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: fire-fly on March 26, 2008, 06:31:39 AM

I wonder if I have to change my medication.

chillies


Please don't change it. The new meds might stop your humorous comments, I love them.  ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Cathy C on March 26, 2008, 03:14:15 PM
Horses!!! I thought that was chocolate cake with lots of cream poured over it. :'(
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Andrewf on March 26, 2008, 05:11:28 PM

Four horses and a foal    ;D



Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: dynodreamer on March 26, 2008, 05:45:13 PM
I see two deer for sure but that foggier one ...MMM -  isn't that  third figure that otherworldly intruder known as "PREDATOR" ?
Geeze I hope not!





I was sent a series of these puzzles and thought you might enjoy looking at one. Have fun. The question with this was "Do you see only one Deer?"
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: fire-fly on March 26, 2008, 06:10:57 PM
Try this one Guys, its the best one.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Andrewf on March 26, 2008, 06:23:49 PM
Hmmmm  i can definitely see 10...  you sure there are 11 ??



Andrew
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: fire-fly on March 26, 2008, 07:12:35 PM
Yep the eleven are there. Tricky little sucker isn't it  ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: dynodreamer on March 26, 2008, 08:34:25 PM

Yes Andrew there are eleven.

Hmmmm  i can definitely see 10...  you sure there are 11 ??



Andrew
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on March 26, 2008, 10:32:34 PM
11, I wonder which one everyone else found to be the tricky one?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: dynodreamer on March 27, 2008, 04:40:56 PM
It's not downloadable from my end but if you can supply a url I can download the thing and overlay some dotted lines on it soze you can see the faces.
('A heck of an energy expenditure for something so non-profitable wot?) TOO MUCH FREE TIME? Oh well.
Maybe you're not seeing the lower right large face is actually two?

11, I wonder which one everyone else found to be the tricky one?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: fire-fly on March 27, 2008, 11:44:16 PM
Sorry Dyno, no url, it was just an email with heaps of time wasters on it. Sorry 8)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: dynodreamer on March 28, 2008, 12:23:54 AM
I managed to download it anywayz. HOWEVER now I'm having trouble gettin it under 250KB.
You know something? There are at least 15 possible configurations which look intentionally face like.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: dynodreamer on March 28, 2008, 12:32:52 AM
I used to volunteer at a care center doing the monthly activity packet so collecting and assembling this kind of thing was my thing along with puzzles of various sorts.  [I hate puzzles.] but it had great rewards and the inmates liked it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: fire-fly on March 28, 2008, 02:47:27 AM
They are a bit of fun and I find they get the eyes as well as the brain, working overtime. I have a few smaller ones as well, I will find them when I have time.

This one is just one of those freaky eye things. It asks where do the columns end.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: dynodreamer on March 28, 2008, 04:11:31 PM
'Tell you what FireFly, the founding father of this type of graphic was a Dutchman. In the waning years of the hippy movement a "coffee table" paper back version of his works sold like gangbusters. I had it twice and lost it. [People liked to borrow this one.] Marvelous stuff!

His official site is -
http://www.mcescher.com/
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Andrewf on March 28, 2008, 04:34:32 PM
Yeah... Escher's artwork has a unique mind-bending quality to it...  ;D


I always loved the ever-ascending staircase... and the room full of stairs.



And i finally found the 11th face i couldnt see before...  dunno why i didnt see it then.  ???
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on March 28, 2008, 04:42:39 PM
The one at the back is Mark Twain, the one to his right [our left] looks like Patrick Stewart.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: fire-fly on March 28, 2008, 05:21:44 PM
Thanks Dyno, I will go check that site out for sure. ;D

Glad you found him Andrew :o

Good one Ollie, I didnt look that close I'm afraid  :D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: dynodreamer on March 29, 2008, 01:30:31 PM
In his BORG captivity days - looks like. :D

The one at the back is Mark Twain, the one to his right [our left] looks like Patrick Stewart.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on March 29, 2008, 03:32:49 PM

Since this is the "too much free time" thread, I have a splendid idea for you to spend some of this time.... follow this link and vote for your three favorite praise poems.

http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=13404.0 (http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=13404.0)

Pardon the temporary hijack...Ollie. I'll buy you your favorite beverage in the MWC bar....put it on my tab. ;D ;)
Okay, resume the usual madness. Thanks thatollie.
 :-*
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on March 29, 2008, 11:01:03 PM
Don't worry Deb, I was getting bored of whatever they were talking about anyway.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: dynodreamer on March 30, 2008, 01:21:06 AM
Andrew . Guess what ? after tireless scrutiny I've come up with 19 images on that pic.
I've managed to distract myself now with the whole idea of this ...and will now spend the night (some of it anyways) in doing a scan able pencil drawing with faces. I'll require at least 10 spotting's for mine, elevens only make sense if you're throwing dice.
A Capitol time waister  WOT???  :o :P :D ???
Yeah... Escher's artwork has a unique mind-bending quality to it...  ;D


I always loved the ever-ascending staircase... and the room full of stairs.



And i finally found the 11th face i couldnt see before...  dunno why i didnt see it then.  ???
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on March 30, 2008, 01:25:15 AM
Quote
Andrew . Guess what ? after tireless scrutiny I've come up with 19 images on that pic.
I've managed to distract myself now with the whole idea of this ...and will now spend the night (some of it anyways) in doing a scan able pencil drawing with faces. I'll require at least 10 spotting's for mine, elevens only make sense if you're throwing dice.

If you do whatever it is that you were talking about, please post on another thread and post the link here.
These puzzle things weren't what I had in mind when I created this thread.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: dynodreamer on March 30, 2008, 06:42:48 PM
Dear Ollie -
[It does appear to be a monopoly of the free time space when I read MY previous postings.]
I was going to load it in my Flicker account. It's just a temporary fixation. I'll be better soon.  :)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: matsamu on March 30, 2008, 08:36:24 PM
Ive given warning, and asked for help enough times now.

All to no avail.

So it has come to this, the flooding.

You delete my posts for no reason and expect me to give in?

Unlucky.

You messed with the wrong person.


Ummm...What? What's going on?

Ok...whatever.
Well, Just letting you guys know i'm still alive, just really busy and with enormous writers block sitting somewhere unpleasantly uncomfortable...sorry i haven't been keeping with things, i just figured this is the place to say i'm still here, so HI and Bye!

~Matsamu
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on March 30, 2008, 11:20:29 PM
You really are alive, no dead person would admit to having writer's block.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on March 31, 2008, 10:46:19 PM
No cry, no foul, in my bowel?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on April 04, 2008, 01:19:35 PM
Too much free time? No better place to spend it than here: http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=13404.0

If you voted prior to April 3, please to go back a recast your vote(s) as the poll had to be reset. Some blonde mishap. Go figure. :P

                                        Thank you!
                                                ~Deb
                                                                                                                               
                                                         
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on April 07, 2008, 04:34:55 AM
Deb, I voted both times. I'd suggest anyone who hasn't read them to have a look.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on April 07, 2008, 08:18:24 PM
Thank you Ollie. Much appreciated both times.  :-*
~Deb
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on April 29, 2008, 09:40:29 PM
To revive this once glorious thread, I'll post another piece of poor writing that I found during my edit.
= = = =
They sat on a red velvet couch, [poor taste I know but what am I supposed to do about it. I mean it gives me the opportunity to have a little authorial ranting. That’s a good thing because I can while away the scene talking to myself instead of having my characters talk to each other. That allows me increase word count without really thinking about what I’m putting down, giving me time to think about what they’re going to say to each other and increasing word count at the same time. Now I’ve wasted several words talking to myself instead of writing about the conversation, now I can use that conversation elsewhere which will further increase my flagging word count. Damn it I’m determined to do this for another hundred words because I have something really witty to put down when I end it and now if you read this I can just go on and on making the comment even wittier because of the length of this authorial intrusion. Now you see the plan, drag out this intrusion so that the comment at the end of it becomes wittier.]

“Where has the time gone?” She asked [how witty was that?]
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Narnian Prince on April 30, 2008, 08:53:01 AM
Here's my entry for the day (seeing as I do have a bit too much free time to do and am not quite sure where to post this...

==================================================================================

   Sitting in the rear pew of the aged chapel, Gerald considered the aspect that he was bored out of his skull.  In his mind, as the minister's voice droned on unceasingly, an unseen hand was using a huge auger to drill a rather large hole into the top of his skull.  Feather light strands of his silky blonde hair fell silently upon the dusty bench and he started to doze.  Attempting some focus on reality he leaned forward in what he hoped was an attentive gaze at the man in the pulpit.  A spider forming the first delicate lines of her web caught his eye and he found himself actually pondering the magnificence of creation through the artistic geometric patterns of the web.  Old Mrs. Feebster was snoring now which was usually a good sign that this weeks overdrawn lesson on morality and its place in society, 'dustbin!' whispered Gerald to no one in particular, was finally coming to an end.  Several heads in front of him that had been the camoflage behind which he had hidden were now straightening up which was a good sign that he also might wish to look alert.  Glancing at his watch, Gerald's eyes nearly popped as he noted he'd managed to stay somewhat awake for over an hour of the ceaseless drawn out repitoire.  Gerald rose to leave but found his way blocked by the cumbersome form of Terrance Pendernathy.  Rare was the day when the pub doorstop actually ventured into a church of any sort but this morning he actually smelled sober and alert.  That should have been the first sign that all was not quite right in the universe.  Being the polite sort, Gerald chose the wiser course of action and let the man leave before him.  However, this only increased the predicament as everyone was now filing out immediately after and, in good manners, Gerald nodded to a few heads and appeared to patiently bide his time.  The spider had left her original post and was now forming a second web above him to his right.  Gerald reflected on it for a moment without considering how his pose appeared to those around him.  It was the gravel tones of the rector that broke into his reverie that made him jump.

   "Why, Mister Bailey!  What a pleasant surprise!"  intoned the balding man in the Roman collar at the doorway. 

   "Oh, lord," Gerald thought to himself, "Here it comes..."  He was sorely tempted to turn and mouth the next words to himself as he knew them by rote.

  "You seemed quite attentive to my service today.  Was there anything in particular that drew your spirit today?"

   Gerald thought for a moment while glancing at the Bible passage for the day on the sign board to the left.

   "Er, well, I suppose..." he started, pondering how to contradict the older yet shorter man before him.  A cardinal sin in all his mother's books no matter how wrong he may have been.  To his tone deaf mother who insisted in outsinging the choir with screeches that scared cats in heat, no man of the cloth was ever wrong or to be found in such a position.  This included the young pastor at St. Jude's, the Catholic Church down the road, who had been caught impregnating, and later giving up collar to marry his son's mother.  He hadn't been wrong, declared she, just a little misguided.

   Right, reflected Gerald, so how do I tell the old man with 11 children, 33 grandchildren and another 4 on the way that sometimes there is such a thing as overdoing it with regards to the wives submitting to their husbands will and trying to single handedly doubling the population of the planet within a single person's life time?

   Not that he wouldn't mind having a go at himself with Jenny Harrison or Pat McCarthy or Brenda McTavish or any member of the female population that could mirror their rather unique body forms that made many men pause to ponder the beauty of God's creation as they bared as much as possible on a summer's day.  The whole problem to Gerald was that he couldn't quite get his head around the idea of just using one woman for the re-population experiment.  What about letting one girl catch her breath for a moment while you work on the next number?

   "No.  No." He managed to squeak out after what he felt was enough of a pregnant pause.  "Guess, the former LDS people could learn something from you."   The minister beamed at the compliment and excused himself to close the doors.

   "Now, where did that come from and what did that mean?" Gerald muttered glancing upward.  But again, God was silent as the miracle had been performed and needed nothing further from Him.

================================================================================

   Anyway, long day ahead with much correcting needed.  Have a great one all!  I'll be around from time to time!  :D

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: dynodreamer on May 03, 2008, 02:02:32 PM
Here's my entry for the day (seeing as I do have a bit too much free time to do and am not quite sure where to post this...

==================================================================================

   Sitting in the rear pew of the aged chapel, Gerald considered the aspect that he was bored out of his skull.  In his mind, as the minister's voice droned on unceasingly, an unseen hand was using a huge auger to drill a rather large hole into the top of his skull.  Feather light strands of his silky blonde hair fell silently upon the dusty bench and he started to doze.  Attempting some focus on reality he leaned forward in what he hoped was an attentive gaze at the man in the pulpit.  A spider forming the first delicate lines of her web caught his eye and he found himself actually pondering the magnificence of creation through the artistic geometric patterns of the web.  Old Mrs. Feebster was snoring now which was usually a good sign that this weeks overdrawn lesson on morality and its place in society, 'dustbin!' whispered Gerald to no one in particular, was finally coming to an end.  Several heads in front of him that had been the camoflage behind which he had hidden were now straightening up which was a good sign that he also might wish to look alert.  Glancing at his watch, Gerald's eyes nearly popped as he noted he'd managed to stay somewhat awake for over an hour of the ceaseless drawn out repitoire.  Gerald rose to leave but found his way blocked by the cumbersome form of Terrance Pendernathy.  Rare was the day when the pub doorstop actually ventured into a church of any sort but this morning he actually smelled sober and alert.  That should have been the first sign that all was not quite right in the universe.  Being the polite sort, Gerald chose the wiser course of action and let the man leave before him.  However, this only increased the predicament as everyone was now filing out immediately after and, in good manners, Gerald nodded to a few heads and appeared to patiently bide his time.  The spider had left her original post and was now forming a second web above him to his right.  Gerald reflected on it for a moment without considering how his pose appeared to those around him.  It was the gravel tones of the rector that broke into his reverie that made him jump.

   "Why, Mister Bailey!  What a pleasant surprise!"  intoned the balding man in the Roman collar at the doorway. 

   "Oh, lord," Gerald thought to himself, "Here it comes..."  He was sorely tempted to turn and mouth the next words to himself as he knew them by rote.

  "You seemed quite attentive to my service today.  Was there anything in particular that drew your spirit today?"

   Gerald thought for a moment while glancing at the Bible passage for the day on the sign board to the left.

   "Er, well, I suppose..." he started, pondering how to contradict the older yet shorter man before him.  A cardinal sin in all his mother's books no matter how wrong he may have been.  To his tone deaf mother who insisted in outsinging the choir with screeches that scared cats in heat, no man of the cloth was ever wrong or to be found in such a position.  This included the young pastor at St. Jude's, the Catholic Church down the road, who had been caught impregnating, and later giving up collar to marry his son's mother.  He hadn't been wrong, declared she, just a little misguided.

   Right, reflected Gerald, so how do I tell the old man with 11 children, 33 grandchildren and another 4 on the way that sometimes there is such a thing as overdoing it with regards to the wives submitting to their husbands will and trying to single handedly doubling the population of the planet within a single person's life time?

   Not that he wouldn't mind having a go at himself with Jenny Harrison or Pat McCarthy or Brenda McTavish or any member of the female population that could mirror their rather unique body forms that made many men pause to ponder the beauty of God's creation as they bared as much as possible on a summer's day.  The whole problem to Gerald was that he couldn't quite get his head around the idea of just using one woman for the re-population experiment.  What about letting one girl catch her breath for a moment while you work on the next number?

   "No.  No." He managed to squeak out after what he felt was enough of a pregnant pause.  "Guess, the former LDS people could learn something from you."   The minister beamed at the compliment and excused himself to close the doors.

   "Now, where did that come from and what did that mean?" Gerald muttered glancing upward.  But again, God was silent as the miracle had been performed and needed nothing further from Him.

================================================================================

   Anyway, long day ahead with much correcting needed.  Have a great one all!  I'll be around from time to time!  :D


DELICIOUS! Will we be reading the rest here? Or is it novel in the works?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 03, 2008, 11:43:23 PM
LOL!!!!  Good lord, dyno!  :)  I really haven't got a clue!  I quite literally had too much time on my hands the other day and spun that off in about 5 minutes without even thinking.  It was all gibberish but I thought someone might get a laugh from it.  Glad you enjoyed it!  But, drat you, now you've got my muse bugging me to do something with it...  I'll have to get back to you on it, bud!  In the mean time, do drop by the MWC Bar and have a drink on me!  :D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: dynodreamer on May 04, 2008, 01:42:22 AM
 Now you've got my muse bugging me to do something with it...  I'll have to get back to you on it, bud!  In the mean time, do drop by the MWC Bar and have a drink on me!  :D

Ya and that's how it works in't it mate?
Do  prefer the warm British draft me self.
How bout the Horseshoe tavern?  :P :)

(P.S. They had the Narnia thing on TV tonite.)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 04, 2008, 01:45:56 AM
Good grief, dyno!  You didn't quite give me half a fright there!   :D   Many were the days when I kept a stool (and mug) warm down at the old 'Shoe!  :D  Many moons have passed since I was last there but fond memories indeed!  When were you last there?  :D

As to your post script... I've been here at work these many hours... what did I miss on the telly about Narnia...?  I've already thoroughly exhausted all the trailers about Prince Caspian and my girls have already found several flaws they consider major!  LOL!!  :D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: dynodreamer on May 04, 2008, 02:04:44 AM
The Chronicals of Narnia.
How 'bout the El Moccombo and the Silver Dollar?
I love to walk around downtown. Used to live and work in the area in my hippy days.
I go to Steves Music on Queen St. the odd weekend. I get my excercise and save $2.75 in the bargain. I used to go to Grossmans too.
Last summer I think.

P.S. I have some (over the counter) pink pills for you - better idea is a fresh coffee 'though. :D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 04, 2008, 02:18:13 AM
Yikes!  You're definitely leading me down amnesia lane here dyno... the elmo and the 'dollar were haunts that I got into once in a while.... not sure how I ended up in 'em but I do have a few recollections of burly staff at least twice my size measuring me up for the dart board only to have friends (who have since passed a while since) spare what was left of my dignity by getting me out of there in the nick of time.... LOL!!!!  :D

And there was the one night where I apparently, with much loss of gallantry, tried to woo a lady police officer by offering her a bottle of beer from a friend's vehicle whilst we apparently were stopped for a light... the yarn has it I offered the beer as a warm up to something better later in the morning.... according to those in better memory, she made the GoodYear blimp look like the before pic in a health ad and her mirth at imagining the size of my honour was the only thing that stopped her from writing my friend up for having "open alcohol in a moving vehicle"... I'm still not sure if my friend has forgiven me the faux pas as I still get the occasional reminder to this day...  ???

As for Steve's Music... I'm sorry, Sam's was the palace of choice for the music back then.  And while I have heard of Grossman's, I never got in there either.  I do believe I'll pass on the pills and the coffee but I owe you one of these days...  :D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Narnian Prince on May 04, 2008, 02:31:26 AM
by the by, dyno,  did you ever haunt the any of the Nags Head's at all in your day?  :D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on May 13, 2008, 12:50:26 AM
I do not have the luxury of too much free time but I am left wondering where Dear Ollie went...Ollie, if you're out there, send me your e-mail address. I miss you.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: matsamu on May 13, 2008, 06:35:50 PM
OUCH! my arm hurts, I have 2 shows to perform tomorrow, and a singing rehearsal tonight, not to mention 3 days worth of homework to do after missing those three days for 2 lines in a play!!!! AAAH!

Oh, and my best friend broke up with the girl that he asked out after telling me that I should ask her out. He broke up with her just to mess around with another girl that we act with that doesn't even go to the same school. So now i'm left with a depressed best-friends-ex + a best friend flirting with someone he won't see again (often at least) and still...i'm single.

WHAT???

Anyway, thanks for listening to me complain. i'm gonna go bang through a singing rehearsal in a room i'm not used to singing in with the best friend i was just talking about. Have a nice day!

~Matsamu

p.s. sorry...i'm just bitter...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on May 14, 2008, 07:10:41 PM
Hi Matsamu,

Good to see you again.

So tell me, what does all of this have to do with your arm hurting? Did your best friend twist it so you would ask out his ex-girl friend?

Oh, and even though it's not nice to be dumped by someone for someone else, it's better than being two-timed. I commend your best friend's dastardly scruples.

When is the play?

Break a leg my thespian friend.

~Deb

P.S. Here, have some sugar. ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: matsamu on May 15, 2008, 07:47:48 PM
Well, which show do you want? we've got thirteen performances. In fact, we've got four left. One friday, two saturday, and one sunday. We had three just today!...we called it Iron thursday...very long day, especially for the guy with only 2 lines in the show. But luckily I'm in "A funny thing happened on the way to the forum," where I am hysterium, (which is a much bigger, better, cooler part with a solo song).

No he didn't have me ask her out afterwards...In my opinion, i've gotta wait now, cuz
A) She knew I liked her before she dated him (Hence, she choes him)
B) I don't want to be a rebound guy for anyone
C) My crush has kinda worn off for another girl...who is two years older than me, has a boyfriend and lives an hour away! Thank you fates!

My arm healed itself, then started back up again today (sort of) now it's just kinda...meh...if that's a good enough description.

well, i'm gonna pretend to rest up for tomorrows grueling day. (6:30 am-4 pm at school, then another performance!)

~Casey (matsamu)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Zetos Lapier on May 15, 2008, 07:49:37 PM
Hey Matsamu, yeah I can understand where your coming from.

I'm sorry to hear that such a thing happened, and it sucks that it got dumped on you. That shouldn't happen, but it does happen.

I hope that your day does get better,

Best wishes and good luck my friend.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: dynodreamer on May 17, 2008, 12:51:57 PM
by the by, dyno,  did you ever haunt the any of the Nags Head's at all in your day?  :D

Nay my prince - [ wow, howz that for a dubble entendre?]
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: StrayDog on June 06, 2008, 09:23:22 AM
I want to know why there's an Iceland trolley outside my local library.
It's a far way away,
I should know because - when this though struck I had gone in to see if they sold sushi.
They don't.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DC on June 06, 2008, 01:29:36 PM
Ohshitohshitohshitohshit.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: matsamu on June 06, 2008, 08:53:00 PM
No DC, tell us how you're really feeling...what's up?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: StrayDog on June 06, 2008, 09:56:00 PM
Don't worry Mats, he's just being philosophical.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: matsamu on June 06, 2008, 10:22:21 PM
Hey, i was gonna ask you, from the First word you think about the person above you thread, why do you think about penguins when you see me?

There's a story behind that, but i want to know your reasoning before i go any further with it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: StrayDog on June 06, 2008, 10:33:14 PM
Quote
Hey, i was gonna ask you, from the First word you think about the person above you thread, why do you think about penguins when you see me?

There's a story behind that, but i want to know your reasoning before i go any further with it.

Gumdrops
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: matsamu on June 06, 2008, 10:45:56 PM
Gumdrops? May i please ask you to elaborate on that pleasant subject, because I for one have no idea what you mean by gumdrops in relation to penguins.

Anyway, My nickname in the real world (ha) is Penguin, mostly for the fact that I found out that there is something called a Jackass penguin, and told my parents so when i was little. then, one day, when we were at an aquarium, there was a penguin exhibit. I looked up to the flightless birds, and shouted, "DAD LOOK! There's a JACKASS!" A six year old yelling that out in the middle of a crowd is a bit of a...distraction, but when we checked, it was right, so everything ended up being a great joke. From that point on, i studied, and collected, all things penguin. Now i have 23 sitting on my dresser, much less the rest of my room, and the rec room.

anyway, i was just wondering if i had told that story before, or if you just thought that I was naturally flightless bird-like.

~Mats
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: StrayDog on June 06, 2008, 10:55:59 PM
Quote
I've swam with unicorns. Ridden rainbows made of candy. I couldn't get the melted gumdrops off my arsefeathers for weeks.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: matsamu on June 06, 2008, 11:02:13 PM
Right. I see. I remember that. Thanks for clearing that up for me!
Happy trails with the penguins and gumdrops
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: StrayDog on June 06, 2008, 11:37:56 PM
(http://frozenstar.com/misc/penguin_gun.jpg)

Ho Ho Ho, now I got a machine gun.
[And a bald patch on my arse.]
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Brix on June 08, 2008, 01:07:49 AM
PENGUIN!!!! *glomps the penguin* I am going to call him flubber bubber!
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: StrayDog on June 08, 2008, 08:49:15 PM
I'm going to leave you two alone, M'kay.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Brix on June 08, 2008, 09:55:44 PM
Does Ollie feel left out? Hm?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: StrayDog on June 08, 2008, 09:57:46 PM
Not really, I have work to do.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Brix on June 08, 2008, 10:00:02 PM
Admit it, you feel left out. ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: StrayDog on June 18, 2008, 07:29:17 AM
Yeah, I want to glomp the penguin too...  ::)

Read this now...
http://mirror.uncyc.org/wiki/John_Lennon
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Brix on June 18, 2008, 07:34:55 PM
I KNEW IT!

Why should I read that?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: StrayDog on June 18, 2008, 07:41:01 PM
Quote
Why should I read that?

Because it's hilarious, and about John Lennon. You should read everything ever written about him.

There's another one about my hometown. It's described as a chav-hole dump, which is very accurate.
It's got the lowest average pregnancy age in Europe, and is a tourist destination, apparently.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Brix on June 18, 2008, 11:45:32 PM
Oh my...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on June 19, 2008, 07:27:51 AM
There's another one about my hometown. It's described as a chav-hole dump, which is very accurate.
It's got the lowest average pregnancy age in Europe, and is a tourist destination, apparently.

I thought sex-tourism was a 'foreign' thing.  I didn't realise Norfolk was also one of the prime destinations.

I just thought it was famous for being flat - very flat - apart from the pointed heads ;-)

And polydactylism...

"Yo, Dude.  Gimmee six!"

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Solitaire on June 19, 2008, 08:05:41 AM

Read this now...
http://mirror.uncyc.org/wiki/John_Lennon


Ollie!

Another Avoidance Activity site.

The articles are hysterical. 

How could you do this to me? 


sol. 

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: StrayDog on June 19, 2008, 09:17:30 AM
Quote
I thought sex-tourism was a 'foreign' thing.  I didn't realise Norfolk was also one of the prime destinations.

I just thought it was famous for being flat - very flat - apart from the pointed heads ;-)

And polydactylism...

"Yo, Dude.  Gimmee six!"

Gyppo

Thankfully I'm not a native Norfolkian.
And yes, we get a lot of Americans here during the summer. Which is great because they think my toff-accent is really cute.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on June 19, 2008, 11:17:03 AM
Thankfully I'm not a native Norfolkian.
And yes, we get a lot of Americans here during the summer. Which is great because they think my toff-accent is really cute.

American tourists ;-)  (Winding them up is fun, but sometimes you end up feeling guilty when it's as easy as shooting fish in a barrel.)

American:  (pulling up in car alongside a Cornish native, or a New Forester pretending to be local)  "Hi!  Can you tell me the way to Tremodrett?"

Native:  "No.  But I can tell you the way to Truro if that's any help."

American: "Is it on the way to Tremodrett?"

Native:  "No.  Tis several miles beyond it."

American:  "I thought you didn't know the way to Tremodrett?"

Native:  "Nor do I, but I've seen a sign for it many times on the way to Truro."

American:  "Thankyou.  Could you tell me what time it is?"

Native:  "I could..."

Silence ensues for several seconds, much to the bewilderment of the American, then the native relents.

Native:  "Oh...  You mean will I?"

American:  "Yes.  Will you tell me the time?"

Native:  "Where?  Here or in Tremodrett?"

American:  "Here, I guess."

Native:  "Tuesday."

American:  "Tuesday?"

Native:  "Sure, all day long me 'ansome."

Points are scored according to the length of traffic queue you can build up, so the longer you keep the tourist talking the higher your status.  In the evening you compare tales at the pub, whilst teaching other tourists the intricacies of pool played according to Cornish 'Open' Rules.

Gyppo

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: matsamu on June 19, 2008, 11:28:09 AM
Something tells me that I shouldn't be a tourist in....whatever the hell country you are from. For some reason I  never knew.

Our policy for out of town (country) tourists/visitors is usually to ask them incessantly about their homeland. you know, dirty words in their language, gross things they eat, and why they think America is better (not if...why)

we're oh so courteous. (and for some reason my fingers wouldn't let me spell courteous.)

~Mats
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Brix on June 19, 2008, 11:31:41 AM
I hate it when your fingers are in denile and refuse to listen to the brain...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on June 19, 2008, 12:12:20 PM
Something tells me that I shouldn't be a tourist in....whatever the hell country you are from. For some reason I  never knew.

Most tourists are okay, no matter where they're from.  But some just have the equivalent to a 'Please kick me' sign on their back.

One of the triggers is when they use the 'Quaint' to describe your home town/village.

A:  "Gee, this place is so quaint.  What's it called again?"

N:   Thinks: The same as it's been called for the last thre hundred years, M'Dear."

N:   Says: "Menheniot."

A:   "Say, does that grass grow naturally up the middle of the main street."

N:   Thinks:  Course not...  Tis a special strip of turf and tarmac we keep in the police house and unroll every time we see a hired car ignore the dead-end sign and come up our little six foot track.  Jus' like we do talk different when strangers is around.

N:    Says: "We sure as hell didn't plant it, M'Dear.  Happen the sheep'll crop it when we bring 'em in for the winter.  'less it dies first."

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Akeith (Gray) on June 19, 2008, 05:07:33 PM
Hey.
What's wrong with American tourists?
No, wait.  Don't answer that.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on June 19, 2008, 06:47:18 PM
As far as some of the Cornish are concerned all tourists are bad, and that even includes ones from Devon, which is only just across the Tamar river.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Akeith (Gray) on June 21, 2008, 06:33:18 PM
I understand fully.  I have some relations that would fit into that category and they are not that distant.

Gray
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: StrayDog on June 23, 2008, 02:21:06 PM
Quote
As far as some of the Cornish are concerned all tourists are bad, and that even includes ones from Devon, which is only just across the Tamar river.

This is so true, my Dad's Cornish and he treats us differently when we go down there.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: StrayDog on July 08, 2008, 04:44:38 AM
How could this not get a response?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on July 08, 2008, 05:29:11 AM
Because, sometimes, life's like that ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: StrayDog on July 08, 2008, 07:19:48 PM
Because, sometimes, life's like that ;-)
How is telling the truth going to get this excellent thread up and running again?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: StrayDog on August 16, 2008, 07:18:12 AM
I know exactly how to get this beautiful topic up and insane again.

(http://by104w.bay104.mail.live.com/mail/SafeRedirect.aspx?hm__tg=http://65.54.175.249/att/GetAttachment.aspx&hm__qs=file%3d26200937-5e6e-4ae2-903f-a5cb2f92df78.jpg%26ct%3daW1hZ2UvanBlZw_3d_3d%26name%3dZmlsZTAxMC5qcGc_3d%26inline%3d1%26rfc%3d0%26empty%3dFalse%26imgsrc%3dcid%253a011501c8c7ed%25240171a220%25246000000a%2540office&oneredir=1&ip=10.1.106.201&d=d848&mf=0)
Discuss
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: SpookyWriter on August 16, 2008, 07:49:29 AM
Nice red dot.  Thanks for sharing.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: StrayDog on August 16, 2008, 07:50:42 AM
Nice red dot.  Thanks for sharing.
I have no idea what this means, which is pretty much the point of this thread. Congratulations.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: SpookyWriter on August 16, 2008, 08:14:14 AM
I have no idea what this means, which is pretty much the point of this thread. Congratulations.
Thank you.  I guess?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: StrayDog on August 16, 2008, 08:25:32 AM
Try this one.

The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University.

Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake.

The average person over 40 years of age cannot do it!



1. This is this cat.

2. This is is cat.

3. This is how cat.

4. This is to cat.

5. This is keep cat.

6. This is an cat.

7. This is old cat.

8. This is fart cat.

9. This is busy cat.

10. This is for cat.

11. This is forty cat.

12. This is seconds cat.

 

 

 

 

 



Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down.  And I betcha' you can't resist passing it on.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: fire-fly on August 16, 2008, 08:34:27 AM
 ;D ;D ;D

Good one Oliver.

Have you done anymore of your drawings Ollie?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: StrayDog on August 16, 2008, 08:35:50 AM
;D ;D ;D

Good one Oliver.

Have you done anymore of your drawings Ollie?
You'll be second to know the next time I do one.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: SpookyWriter on August 16, 2008, 08:53:24 AM
Try this one.

The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University.

Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake.

The average person over 40 years of age cannot do it!



1. This is this cat.

2. This is is cat.

3. This is how cat.

4. This is to cat.

5. This is keep cat.

6. This is an cat.

7. This is old cat.

8. This is fart cat.

9. This is busy cat.

10. This is for cat.

11. This is forty cat.

12. This is seconds cat.

 

 

 

 

 



Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down.  And I betcha' you can't resist passing it on.

What's with all the dogs?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: StrayDog on August 16, 2008, 08:56:59 AM
Quote
What's with all the dogs?
They wanted an uncomplicated word so it wouldn't interfere with the process.
ie Troubadour would have been a bad choice, although a very interesting one.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: SpookyWriter on August 16, 2008, 09:08:11 AM
I'll try to remember that the next time I run into a bunch of uneducated cats.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: StrayDog on August 16, 2008, 09:14:55 AM
I'll try to remember that the next time I run into a bunch of uneducated cats.

Sounds like it'll be interesting,
I dare you to write about it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: SpookyWriter on August 16, 2008, 09:36:38 AM
Sounds like it'll be interesting,
I dare you to write about it.
I'll do that just as soon as I finish watching the "Brady Bunch Movie".  Now there's an interesting way to waste time and brain activity.  Well off to see how Marsha cures her infection.  Cheers
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: StrayDog on August 21, 2008, 10:42:09 AM
I'll do that just as soon as I finish watching the "Brady Bunch Movie".  Now there's an interesting way to waste time and brain activity.  Well off to see how Marsha cures her infection.  Cheers
How did the Maid get on in rehab?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on February 16, 2009, 04:10:40 AM
American tourists ;-)  (Winding them up is fun, but sometimes you end up feeling guilty when it's as easy as shooting fish in a barrel.)

American:  (pulling up in car alongside a Cornish native, or a New Forester pretending to be local)  "Hi!  Can you tell me the way to Tremodrett?"

Native:  "No.  But I can tell you the way to Truro if that's any help."

American: "Is it on the way to Tremodrett?"

Native:  "No.  Tis several miles beyond it."

American:  "I thought you didn't know the way to Tremodrett?"

Native:  "Nor do I, but I've seen a sign for it many times on the way to Truro."

American:  "Thankyou.  Could you tell me what time it is?"

Native:  "I could..."

Silence ensues for several seconds, much to the bewilderment of the American, then the native relents.

Native:  "Oh...  You mean will I?"

American:  "Yes.  Will you tell me the time?"

Native:  "Where?  Here or in Tremodrett?"

American:  "Here, I guess."

Native:  "Tuesday."

American:  "Tuesday?"

Native:  "Sure, all day long me 'ansome."

Points are scored according to the length of traffic queue you can build up, so the longer you keep the tourist talking the higher your status.  In the evening you compare tales at the pub, whilst teaching other tourists the intricacies of pool played according to Cornish 'Open' Rules.

Gyppo



I'm going to pretend I don't any stupid Americans.

Is it working?

I thought not.

Had to revive the thread for posterity or was that propriety? No, it was prosperity, definitely prosperity. Well, propriety too.

Here's to bringing back lost but fun threads. Cheers!
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on February 16, 2009, 03:53:11 PM
I'm going to pretend I don't any stupid Americans.

Is it working?

I thought not.

Had to revive the thread for posterity or was that propriety? No, it was prosperity, definitely prosperity. Well, propriety too.

Here's to bringing back lost but fun threads. Cheers!
I don't any stupid americans either.

Bonk...

Oh, Lucy.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: RandomAmber on February 16, 2009, 05:52:10 PM
Gyppo, I wondered is there a game by which you can score points for the amount of tourists you can say "Don't walk the moors alone, stick to the path and follow the road," to?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on February 16, 2009, 06:06:04 PM
Almost anything can be turned into a game if you really want to, and if you can keep a straight face long enough.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DC on February 17, 2009, 04:25:05 AM
Sometime back in my early-ish teens, I had a bloke stop me one day and ask directions to 'Wellhouse Street'. I gave him the directions he asked for, which meant a journey around most of the town. Unfortunately I didn't have time to hang about to see how long it took him to get back to where he had stopped me; on Wellhouse Street.

Well, what are (clearly visible) street name signs for?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on February 17, 2009, 08:15:27 PM
Was going to post here, decided it needs its own topic.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on February 18, 2009, 05:33:19 AM
I don't any stupid americans either.

Bonk...

Oh, Lucy.

Oh hush up Desi - That was a calculated attempt to effectuate the unremitting notion that Americans are gullible goofballs and that blond women can be clever at drawing attention to what is not there so that men are forced to deal with their own ratiocinations. Obviously!
I'm going to pretend that I don't ________any stupid Americans either. I was merely playing the part.
You were suppposed to fill in the invisible blank....or was that me? Okay, so I forgot the line that indicates the blank - so sue me. Is anyone buying this?

Nevertheless! My answer is seven!  ??? And the word that goes in the blank is...know.


Revive a guy's lost thread and this is the thanks you get? Humpf!  ;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on February 18, 2009, 02:24:57 PM
Seven is nearly always a good answer.  Unless you are asking the Judge how many years inside you're likely to get, and even then its got to better than ten, or thirty.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: matsamu on February 21, 2009, 01:59:56 AM
As soon as iread your post gyppo...i wanted to say something regarding 42 just for a Hitchhiker quote...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: PretzelGirl on February 21, 2009, 02:23:32 AM
...everyone always forgets the towel    >:(






 ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on February 21, 2009, 03:59:45 AM
"Your planet is being demolished to make way for an Intergalactic Super Highway."
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on February 21, 2009, 08:51:36 PM
Mats, this reminds me of a list of writing rules I contributed to.

Rule 42. Don't Panic
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Frogg on February 22, 2009, 06:21:31 PM
Ladies and gentlemen
I stand before you to stand behind you,
To tell you something that I know absolutely nothing about.
This Thursday which is Good Friday,
We're having a mothers day picnic for fathers only.
Admission is free pay at the door,
Pull up a chair and sit on the floor.
Late one day in the middle of the night,
Two dead soldiers got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
Pulled their swords and shot each other,
The deaf policeman heard the noise
And shot again the twice dead boys,
If you don't believe this lie is true at all
Ask the blind man; he saw it through the wooden brick wall.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on February 26, 2009, 09:02:17 AM
An excellent contribution, I've heard it somewhere before and can't remember.
Anyone care to enlighten me?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Frogg on February 26, 2009, 03:50:04 PM
It's one of those 'Ye Olde English Nonsensical Rhymes.'

I learnt it by heart when I was about eight, and recited it at anyone who happened to have the misfortune to pass by... ;D

Perhaps you were one of those poor unfortunate souls. ::)

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on February 26, 2009, 04:04:17 PM
It was a playground rhyme when I was a kid, but our version ended at 'drew their swords and shot each other'.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: dynodreamer on February 27, 2009, 08:50:29 PM
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =  [phew …I’m fagged!]
= = = = = = = = = = =[’must go on.] = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = [Hello! Can you tell me if I’m on the right road to Dover?]
“ Groak! Sorry! I don’t speak Sparrow”, replied the frog.
= = [You’re mistaken, heh heh, … I’m a black-legged kittiwake]
“Fat chance.”  < < < < < < < < < < < < < < < < <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<,  [Ummm! ‘Fya done mind me askin, howd ya lose yer leg?]
“Went on olydays to France  ….if yer asking. Say … if you really are a kittiwake why aren’t you up there? “
[Too cold yet to be flying around . ‘Sides, there’s still plenty of time to settle in for the spring.]
“I think yer avin me on mate!”    [ Aye? Wucha mean?]
[[[[[[WATCH OUT FOR THE LORIE!!!!!]]]]]]

* .........."unh.


[poor bugger]


Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on February 28, 2009, 12:24:59 AM
I am now making a grand statement to the effect that the person (or something) known as thatollie is about to partake in the activity (or chore) of sleeping. This thing known as sleeping will take several hours (or days as they are referred to on your planet) meaning that he shall not be returning  for several hours, unless he is capable of posting content in his sleep (and I wouldn't put it past him. In fact it's how he seems to function) The general point being that your supply of Oliver has been cut off, you filthy thatheads, shooting up on witty banter behind a beehive in Northampton and cackling in the ecstatic black magic bugaboo zone.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on February 28, 2009, 05:31:27 AM
Filthy 'thatheads'?  I'm sure at least some of your fans, disciples, followers, cohorts, companions, camp followers, horde, are squeaky clean types who take a shower before they take a shower for fear of making the water dirty.  But perhaps you know them better.

Gyppo 
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Frogg on March 02, 2009, 01:57:16 PM
If lawyers are disbarred, and clergymen defrocked, does it not follow that electricians can be
delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked,
and dry cleaners depressed?

Indeed, too much time...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on March 02, 2009, 02:05:05 PM
Not to mention used car salesmen being detracted.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Frogg on March 02, 2009, 02:09:08 PM
And manicurists being defiled...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on March 02, 2009, 02:26:25 PM
And soldiers being debunked.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on March 02, 2009, 02:52:42 PM
All over the world today [we can carry on with the prefix game after this rant, in fact it may deserve it's own topic] writers from all acroos the globe train for next week's MWC Olympics. We wonder what kind of events Nick and his team have in store for us, and hope that with talent, and determination and luck and a decent edit, we may win the gold. My friends, I wish you all good luck. But the world doesn't work that way, some of us will win and some of us will lose, and some of us will come close many times and feel gladdened by our versatility yet somehow sad that we weren't able to specialise.

And now for something completely the same...

All over the world today [we can carry on with the prefix game after this rant, in fact it may deserve it's own topic] writers from all across the globe train for next week's MWC Olympics. We wonder what kind of events Nick and his team have in store for us, and hope that with talent, and determination and luck and a decent edit, we may win the gold. My friends, I wish you all good luck. But the world doesn't work that way, some of us will win and some of us will lose, and some of us will come close many times and feel gladdened by our versatility yet somehow sad that we weren't able to specialize.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on March 04, 2009, 06:45:21 AM
Ollielympics or Olympics? Has MWC already held the qualification trials? Where do I sign up? Do I sign up as Lucy, Micheal Phelps, or Mean Deborah Jean, the Verbiage Queen?

Where is my chain-mail?


On another Olympic (Ollielympic?) note:

I read this news headline and it made me chuckle for some odd reason....I seriously don't know why. It just hit my funny. (Yes, I said, "It just hit my funny" and I meant it.)  :P :D ;D

Phelp's Bong Probe Up in Smoke -NBC


It's not that clever, not really funny. Yet, I sit here like a strange, deranged woman...laughing. The more I think and write about it, the more I laugh. Are you laughing? I think this delirious, woman needs to rearrange her deranged brain, and relieve the strain before I throw a vein.

MWC Olympics? Sounds like a good idea to me. Details anyone?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on March 04, 2009, 07:26:05 AM
I'm going for the record for
Long Chair Sit

I have a porta-potty seat I'm sitting on and the coffee pot is right here. I'm set for the next four days.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on March 04, 2009, 07:30:48 AM
I asked for details and I got de tails. ;)

Good grief. I really am going to bed now.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on March 04, 2009, 06:52:10 PM
Patti's driving away the competition.
Tsk Tsk Tsk.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on March 04, 2009, 06:53:58 PM
Drive? Now I have to drive this thing? Not sure what speeds I can get.  ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on March 04, 2009, 06:54:44 PM
And on my thread too, you really are being mean today.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on March 04, 2009, 06:56:16 PM
Okay, I'll put it in reverse and back out.  8)

bye bye
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on March 04, 2009, 07:00:32 PM
Okay, I'll put it in reverse and back out.  8)

bye bye
That's even meaner, you drive everyone away leaving me only you to talk to and then leave yourself.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on March 04, 2009, 07:28:56 PM
Ack

Now what do I do?

Should I come up with another game to compete in?

I can probably adequately compete in the number of typos produced in a minute.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on March 04, 2009, 07:30:22 PM
Ack

Now what do I do?

Should I come up with another game to compete in?

I can probably adequately compete in the number of typos produced in a minute.
A shorter version of your newest game?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on March 05, 2009, 06:46:23 AM
A 'Typo Tournament' has a certain appeal, but how do we legislate against chemical assistance, drugs or alcohol, as opposed to simple digital malfunction?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Spell Chick on March 05, 2009, 07:23:03 AM
A 'Typo Tournament' has a certain appeal, but how do we legislate against chemical assistance, drugs or alcohol, as opposed to simple digital malfunction?

Even worse. As my husband keeps saying, "There's no pill for stupid."

How do you help THAT?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on March 05, 2009, 08:48:48 AM
But stupid may be genetic, and therefore natural.  Just as some people have the build for weight lifters and some are whippet-like distance runners.  That's just the luck of the draw.  Some lumbering great behemoth may want to be a runner, or some scrawny runner may lust after the challenge of lifting five times his own bodyweight, but that's their (misguided) choice .

Stupid ought to be an advantage in a Typo Tournament, but I bet there's some people out there who would be unlucky enough to hit the right keys by mistake if they were trying not to.

Life's like that ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DC on March 06, 2009, 03:01:26 PM
Is there going to be a section for procrastinators? I must have a chance in that...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Andrewf on March 06, 2009, 03:04:20 PM
No... that was considered to be a non-starter...


The true entrants would put off entering anything until it was too late to enter anything.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on March 06, 2009, 04:27:20 PM
And then argue incessantly about who was the last to start putting it off.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on March 08, 2009, 03:34:44 PM
Sounds good to me. May I go first? ;)

(Points to DC and chuckles.) :P



Deb doing the Happy Dance...


Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on March 08, 2009, 03:56:10 PM
That's good, seeing Deb happy.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on March 08, 2009, 06:37:56 PM
It's the dance that you really enjoy. ;) ;D


Care to join me?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on March 09, 2009, 09:27:11 AM
It's the dance that you really enjoy. ;) ;D


Care to join me?
Gyppo doing the happy dance? Christ this thread is already unpopular enough, wouldn't you say?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on March 09, 2009, 09:35:16 AM
Have no fear, TO.  I shall spare you the trauma ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on March 10, 2009, 02:57:04 AM
Awww, dancing is so much fun though. I love to see people do the Happy Dance and it's even more fun to share happiness with a friend (or several friends).
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on March 10, 2009, 08:51:21 AM
I've been threatening to dance The Hornpipe on my newly rediscovered bedroom/office floor, just because there's now room to do so.  Well, I tried it and hurt my dodgy knee, so that's the end of that for a while.

Mum was downstairs and said it sounded like a herd of 'Fairy Elephants' stomping about.  (She used to say this when we were kids, usually about Sis and I 'thundering up and down the stairs', and I never understood why.  Surely fairy elephants would be quieter than the normal pachyderms.)

So I told her it was probably a Hairy Elephant, and we left it at that.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Narnian Prince on March 10, 2009, 09:27:37 AM
I'll join the dance!  I've even got my leotards on!  Just don't ask me to sing.  For some reason the humane society always chooses to drop by every time I get a shower of late...  :)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: DGSquared on March 10, 2009, 01:59:06 PM
NP, regular attire is perfectly acceptable - preferable even. This isn't dancing with the stars unless we want to dance with the ones that hang in the sky though I enjoy dancing under them just as much.



[Tosses Gyppo an ice-pack] ;)

Was it the Sailor's Hornpipe you were dancing?



Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: RandomAmber on March 10, 2009, 03:29:57 PM
Quote
Come cheer up me lads tis to glory we steer to add something more to this wonderful year
Oh, that wasn't the hornpipe lol
 ;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on April 07, 2009, 10:09:58 PM
In an effort to bring this thread back from the grave [again] I've written some stuff especially suited for it.

A story to make people who like gushy and stupid stories that make you go "Awww" to laugh at.

Little Bobby Whatzisname was walking
home with Jenny Whatzerface and then
when they got to the gate to his garden
she surprised him with a kiss on the
cheek (the one on his face).

As she left he rubbed his face and said,
"I'm never washing this cheek ever again."

Then he heard a chomp and went in the
garden and found his dad Big Bobby
Whosyerdaddy finishing a mouthful of
apple, "You should wash that cheek, or
she'll never kiss it again."

Do you remember when people gave advice
this good? No, neither do I.

A story for people who like stories that don't really make any sense but the author tried so we applaud them anyway.

Character A was making a cup of tea in
the bathroom when Character B came in
and said, "Did you borrow my magazine?"

"Pardon," Character A replied.

Character B sighed, "It wasn't on the
stack last night but it was there this
morning."

"Perhaps you have an ischemic bowel."

"What?" Asked Character B.

"I said perhaps you have an ischemic bowel,"
said Character A.

"What difference would that make?"

"How should I know," replied Character A,
"I'm not a librarian."

A story for people who thought the last story made too much sense to be entertaining.

"I'm thinking," he said.

"Congratulations," I replied.

"Don't be sarcastic."

"Well Sooooooooooorry," I said, "Anyway, do
you think it's wrong to put, I just saw a midget,
in my journal?"

"There's a midget in your journal, let me see,"
he begged.

"Sorry, he's a very private midget."

A look of confusion swept across his face,
"How did we start talking about this?"

"I started talking about quitting smoking
and sentence structure, then I had an
idea for dialogue and invented you, at
which point I began to recap the entire
thing and now I'm done recapping."

But he hadn't been listening.

Stuff Ollie Thinks about.

Can you eat gold?

If some tells a riddle and there's no-one
there to hear it, does it have an answer?

Has Gyppo ever thought about shaving his
beard into a question mark shape?

The bit that means I'm wrapping it up and leaving.

I hope, sincerely, that somebody enjoyed some of this whatever it was, and if you didn't please tell me why so I can write something better nexty time, in fact even if you did enjoy this tell me how it could have been even better, or worse if that's how you like it. Goodbyed.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Alice, a Country Gal on April 07, 2009, 10:17:40 PM
Quote
I hope, sincerely, that somebody enjoyed some of this whatever it was, and if you didn't please tell me why so I can write something better nexty time, in fact even if you did enjoy this tell me how it could have been even better, or worse if that's how you like it. Goodbyed.

Sorry, can't think about any of that right now. Too busy trying to figure out why you changed your name and what the new one means . . . if anything.

Cute Kitty.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on April 07, 2009, 10:21:38 PM
Sorry, can't think about any of that right now. Too busy trying to figure out why you changed your name and what the new one means . . . if anything.

Cute Kitty.

1. OK, think about it when you're ready.
2. It was originally going to be my sig, but I thought it made a better name than the old one.
3. Yes, it is a cute kitty.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on April 08, 2009, 12:18:56 AM

Has Gyppo ever thought about shaving his
beard into a question mark shape?


No.  And I'm not going to, even if you have tried to plant the Jedi-type suggestion in my brain.

I liked the byplay about the midget ;-)

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on April 08, 2009, 12:27:15 AM

I liked the byplay about the midget ;-)

Gyppo
You realise that you now owe me a funny little story.
[Come on, the first two took me 2 minutes each, you can spare two minutes to entertain a white cat with a silly story.]
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on April 08, 2009, 01:27:07 AM
Okay, Ollie.

I once knew a rather short girl called Bridget (under five feet), who got really riled when compared to Bridget the Midget http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDqsk5u2N0A

She was an adventurous lass and told me a story about some really smooth dude who invited her back to his pad.  (Note the language which gives some idea of the era I'm talking about.)  He'd been bragging about his waterbed, and how amazingy sensual it was making love on the ever shifting surface.

Being an enthusiast for the carnal arts she took him up on the offer and found it really fun rollling around on there by herself whilst he made them a couple of pre-nookie drinks.  'Just like a bouncy castle.'  When it was time to roll over and get her drink she found she couldn't get out of the middle of the bed, she kept rolling back.  At first she thought it was funny, but after a while she started to feel trapped.  In the end he had to help her.

"Well, after that I was a bit reluctant to get back on there.  I mean, what if I didn't like him after all?"

But curiousity prevailed and ten minutes later she was very nearly seasick.  Enough to have to break off the revels.  She said he was a lovely man, but the voluptous wobbly embrace of the bed put her off ever repeating the experiment.

"Mind, you, the sheepskin rug in front of the fire where we finished off made me laugh.  It tickled my bum" she finished nostalgically.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on April 08, 2009, 01:29:40 AM
That was a great story.

On a half-serious note, if I wrote a book of these shorties do you think anyone would buy it?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on April 08, 2009, 01:39:43 AM
Half serious answer;  I don't know.  There are some funny little books out there which sell well and defy all the conventions about what will or will not sell.  If you find a niche market then you can write niche books which will sell.  The trick, as always, is getting people to know about anything which isn't mainstream.

I think I and probably quite a few others on this circle and with a similar mindset would find it entertaining, but thats because we know you - after a fashion - and know that you can entertain.

An outsider may pick it up in a bookshop and just think "What?"  Another outsider may read a couple of lines and find one of your quirky tales lodged in his brain like a fish-hook, and feel compelled to read on.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on April 08, 2009, 01:48:50 AM
I already have a jingsy title, "Biscuits for your brain"
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: fire-fly on April 08, 2009, 03:44:18 AM
Glad to see you revive this again Ollie, I have heaps of fun reading it.  ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on April 08, 2009, 03:51:01 AM
Glad to see you revive this again Ollie, I have heaps of fun reading it.  ;D

then you need to throw something fun into the pot.

Gotta give story to get story.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on April 08, 2009, 06:42:00 AM
Gotta give story to get story.

True, like Traveller Stew.  You may never know exactly what's in there, but in return for a sometimes relatively meagre top-up you can often have a decent bowl full.

Bridget was in the 'deep pool of memory', the stuff which rarely gets disturbed, until Ollie mentioned midgets, and then there she was, as fresh as just yesterday, shaking her head and making her dark hair swirl.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Alice, a Country Gal on April 08, 2009, 01:02:41 PM
One of my problems with story telling is that I sometimes forget which one I've shared here ... or was it a real live person who's ear I bent.

So, if this sounds familiar; click Next.

Just One of the Reasons I Love Dogs.

When my oldest son attained the vaulted age of sixteen we threw a party. Among others his age, he wanted his pastor and family to be invited. That was fine, they were all good people that seemed to fit in with any group.

Unfortunately another man and his wife from the church invited themselves. Fine, I didn't know them but thought it would be okay.

That was my first mistake that evening.

Things were going fine until I went into the kitchen to gather more food (it was vanishing at an astounding rate).

Our living room was separated from the kitchen by a wall that left opening at either end.

Number three son came running around one opening, passed behind me and reentered the living room through the other side - the uninvited man running right behind him. 

I was surprised and failed to say anything beyond a "What are . . . " before they both vanished. My second mistake.

This was repeated a second time, at which time I told them to stop it.

The third time around my son flew through the patio doors and into the back yard. The man was right behind him, but I grabbed his arm and told him not to go in the yard because I had a big dog out there.

He shook my hand off and out the door he went.

In only a minute or two he came back in, quiet and sedate. I was so happy to see peace restored that I didn't question what had brought it about.

A little later #3 son came back in and the party continued without any further disruption.

An hour or so after the party ended and everyone left, the man's wife called me. The first words out of her mouth were:

"Your dog bit my husband."

"I told him not to go in the yard."

"Has you dog had it's rabies shot?"

"Of course," I said.

"You need to bring the proof to me. I want to see it," she said.

"If you want to see the proof, you can come here to see it. Apparently you know the way to my home."

She had a few other choice words to share, but I was in no mood to deal with the irate, uninvited woman.

After I slammed the phone up in her ear, I continued to fume.

When I had calmed down a little, I felt the need to get some idea of what kind of trouble to expect from this couple. I knew nothing about them.

So I called the pastor, he knew these people.  It turned out he already knew more than I did about what happened.

It seems that when the man chased my son out the back door, McGee, my St. Barnard, went into protection mode, gave chase, and caught the man, right in the seat of his pants.

My son called her off and the man returned indoors where he apparently felt safer. But he didn't mention the bite to anyone until after they left the house.

The pastor, after hearing about my phone conversation with the wife, told me not to worry about it; that he would take care of it.

Apparently he handled it well because I never hear a word from the weird couple again.

McGee received extra love and treats for sometime after that. She was such a good dog and a wonderful protector of her family.     
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: Gyppo on April 08, 2009, 02:59:56 PM
Dogs ;-)

I got attacked by a dog on my first day as a postman.  At the very first house.  I had a recorded letter which needed a signature.

The woman opened door and what I took to be a very untidy looking beige rug on the wooden floor just launched itself at me.  He went straight for the groin.  I instintively half turned to block him, as one does when you see/sense a knee or anything solid coming that way and he closed his teeth on my thigh.  Because it was both rainy and cold I was wearing the winterweight trousers, the waterproof over trousers, and the long orange milti-layered 'stormcoat'.

All in all enough layers to stop him doing any real damage, although I felt the pressure of his teeth closing.  The woman dragged him off and locked him behind a door.

"Sorry.  He's never done that before."  I later learned not to believe that oft-repeated statement.  Oddly enough he never attacked me again, even when she forgot to lock him away before opening the door.

She was a strange woman, because every morning at 7-15 she would stand in her kitchen window, overlooking the front path, naked from the waist up - possibly down as well but i couldn't see - eating a bowl of cereal and watching the world go by.  On the occasions I neeeded a signature there would be a brief delay whilst she put her dressing gown on.  Every time she expressed surprise that I'd caught her 'fresh from the shower'.  On days when I didn't knock the door she would still be there, spooning cereal into her mouth, still showing herself, when I walked back out of her gate and turned away along the road.

Just five minutes either side and she wasn't there.  Presumably still in the shower or getting dressed

Men who haven't done the job think that every naked or half naked woman who comes to the door, or 'flaunts herself' is 'gagging for it'.  The plain truth is that most of them just aren't thinking, or really don't care.  In their own home they forget there are windows.

The real femme fatale type are a very different breed.  They come to the door wrapped in a dry towel, no trace of damp in their hair - onlike the dog woman -, and usually well perfumed and immaculately made-up.

"You dreadful man, you've got me out of the shower again."  They then go on to explaion that their husband is working away from home.  Sometimes they're just lonely and a couple of minutes chat on the doorstep is all they really want.

"Sorry about that, love.  If you'll just sign here...  Nice day. Lovely roses."  Safe chat...

Some individual postmen do 'score like bandits', most of us have more sense.  And, quite frankly, we never really have the time to stop.  Our basic guideline is always 'Don't cross the threshold'.  It saves a lot of hassle.

Mind you, it fascinated me to see that some women truly do 'blush all over' when truly taken unawares, and with others it was only the face.

Gyppo (Always a gent on duty.)

 
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: fire-fly on April 08, 2009, 11:57:21 PM
Since dogs seem to be the subject of the day I will tell you one of mine.  ;D ;D

When my children were very little we had a puppy called Casper, a dear little bitza thing they both adored. We had Casper a very short time when he became ill and the vet had to give him the goodbye needle. It is always a hard thing to explain to children where there pets are gone and dead has always been too harsh a word and causes too much upset.

So we always say they have gone to heaven. In Caspers case, I told my daughter that Casper was now happy and in heaven with Grey Nanny. (my deceased mother) My girls seemed quite happy with that explanation or so I thought.

The older daughter was deep in thought and came to me and said so innocently,

"Mummy, Casper is in heaven with Grey Nanny, right?"

I said, "Yes sweetheart thats right, what is bothering you about that?"

She said, "Mummy I think someone should tell Grey Nanny she is looking after a dead dog."

Of course I didn't have an answer for that pearler did I. Kids, who'd have em.  ;D ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on April 10, 2009, 10:11:13 PM
A story about the Cafe Express gang that I thought was amusing but then again I'm biased

Steve, the intrepid wiseguy of one and a
half novels and a handful of other stories
had gone missing. So his sister, her
husband and Steve's roommate Pete
were at the apartment thinking things
over.

Clara was making coffee, her
aforementioned husband Dick was looking
through the cupboard for Coconut
macaroons and Pete was sitting on the
sofa.

"OK," said Clara, "He lonely, depressed and
having a nervous breakdown. Where would
he go?"

"To College," said Pete.

"To the Mall," said Dick.

"To Dick's office," said Pete.

"Oh shit," said Dick, "Paris."

"Oh shit," Clara replied, "How do we get him
back?"

"We don't," said Dick, "We wait for him to miss
England."

"Which is when?" She asked.

"When he misses your Mochas."

Pete got up and started off to bed, "He'll be
back by lunch, Night everyone."

Just then they heard the key turning in the
lock and Steve came in.

"Did you catch an early train?" Asked Dick.

"What?"

"Where've you been?" Clara shouted.

"An all night gym."

"Why?" Dick asked.

"Well," he replied, "You remember that Vanessa
dumped me."

This was greeted with a mummer of something.

"She left me for some muscle-punk, I think I'm
losing my touch."

"So that's why people go to the gym," said Dick,
"To compensate for a lack of subtlety."
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on April 12, 2009, 12:31:24 AM
A Sci Fi Story about a sofa.

Harry sat upon his sofa and thought about the events that had led him to
the situation he was in, “Why did I have to be such a stupid man?”

He had left his post as an Ensign in the Royal Space Fleet so that he could
take a job in The Royal Candy Factory. But then he had found out that he
was allergic to an obscure chocolate that he’d never tried before but was a
vital part of Her Majesty’s personal chocolate box.

“Oh cruel fate deceiving my stupid head, or something,” he wailed, “Now I
have barely a sixpence to my name,” for they had found the olden timey
monetary system to be confusing enough to get people interested in money
again.

“Don’t worry,” said his talking sofa, “things will pick up sooner or later.”

“I know,” he said, “but, wait you can talk.”

“Yes,” the sofa replied.

This perturbed and excited Harry in equal measure so he delved deeper into
the sofa’s murky past, “So why haven’t you reassured me before?”

“I have,” replied the sofa, “has all the comfort I’ve given you over years
been forgotten so soon since you’ve learnt that I could have done more.”

“You talk too much,” said Harry.

“This from the guy who sat on me all night and cried about all the girls who’d
dumped him.”

This made Harry angry with the sofa so he stood up, but then realised that it
probably preferred things this way so he sat on it again.

“What was that about,” it asked.

“I just thought that I didn’t want to sit on you anymore but then realised that
you don’t like being sat upon so I sat down again.”

“Oh,” it said, “fair enough.”
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread
Post by: thatollie on April 20, 2009, 06:11:45 AM
Continuing the story of Harry and his talking stuff.     [naughty word]

Harry, after having a long chat with his sofa wondered if any other household objects had something to say to him, “Do any of the rest of you have anything you want to say?”

“Yeah,” said his potted plant, “I was wondering why I never get watered.”

“Because you’re plastic,” he replied.

“Oh,” said the plastic plant, “Well, I’d like to make a complaint about your brother.”

“What about him?”

“He peed on me,” it wailed, “Quite a fucking way to ring in the new year, wouldn’t you say.”

“I’m sorry,” said Harry, “I’ll talk to him about it.”

The plant sighed, “Don’t bother, he’s probably forgotten.”

“Well then, I won’t bother, but only if you’re sure.”

“Yeah,” it replied, “I would have complained sooner if it was that big a deal, it’s just that I’ve kinda been holding in this resentment for so long.”

“Well, I hope you feel better.”

"It's a huge relief, because you know, that was only time I'd ever been watered."

"Well, I'm going to clean you," Harry replied, "That's almost a watering."
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 27, 2009, 07:45:38 PM
Oliver gets political

There's been more stuff in the papers about government ministers abusing their spending allowance, so I thought I'd weigh in on the topic with an idea. Auric Goldfinger for Prime Minister. Think about it; when he found out his new golfing partner James Bond was a [spoiler alert]British spy[alert over], he tried to laser the guy's gonads off. If he got into power, do you think any of his henchmen would dare to have an unsubstantiated claim?

This rant was brought to you by the "Goldfinger for Prime Minister" fund.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mark H on April 28, 2009, 02:34:26 AM
Wouldn't work.

All the thieving cabinet ministers would sneak into No 10 while he was asleep and file off bits of his finger. They'd swap the gold filings for porn DVD's (or perhaps have them made into gold fillings). By the first budget he'd be fingerless and have to change his name to Auric Nofinger MP. And worse, how would he pick his nose?

A better choice would be Bill Clinton. He'd be a crap PM obviously, but it would be worth it just to see Sir Humphrey on his knees.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Spell Chick on April 28, 2009, 04:03:52 AM

A better choice would be Bill Clinton. He'd be a crap PM obviously, but it would be worth it just to see Sir Humphrey on his knees.

Does Sir Humphrey own a blue dress or would he need to borrow Monica's? Bill leaves a trail.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mark H on April 28, 2009, 04:44:14 AM
sorta like a slug?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Spell Chick on April 28, 2009, 12:11:29 PM
yeah, pretty much. slimy trail.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on April 28, 2009, 01:29:09 PM
Monica, on a book signing tour of the UK, takes her infamous blue dress into a London dry cleaners and asks how long it will take to clean.

The cleaning woman - by happy coincidence -  is a little bit deaf and doesn't catch the question, so she cups one hand behind her ear and says "Come again, Love."

Monica replies, "No, soup this time."

Gyppo (Who didn't make it up.)

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on May 02, 2009, 09:45:08 AM
Gyppo didn't make it up,
shake it up,
take it up,
snake it up?

My my, what was I going for there?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on May 02, 2009, 09:28:04 PM
A Really Long Story Called "Finagled Fixture"

Harry's and his talking stuff returned from the station
with more gibberish to impart, "Alright," he said, "Who's
next on the list of stuff that wants to complain?"

"Why do you assume anyone else wants to complain?"
The left ceiling kitchen light asked.

"Because we're here, which means something else wants
to complain. Geez, don't you know story structure?"

"I'm not your reading lamp."

"Oh right, sorry."

"Don't worry about it," it replied.

"Maybe I should be having this conversation with my reading
lamp?"

"No," said the kitchen light, "You should be having this
conversation with a therapist."

This comment angered Harry, but he didn't know why.

"I'm angry with you and I don't know why."

"I know," it replied, "It was just in the narrative. Geez,
don't you know story structure?"

"Is that supposed to be ironic?" He asked.

"I'm still a kitchen light, so yes."

"Well then, is there any more point to this narrative?"

The light thought about it while Harry made poptarts.

"Do you know how cruel it is for you to be making food
when I'm incapable of eating?"

"Aren't you also incapable of smelling?"

"I can see it, can't I?"

"How should I know," he replied, "I'm not you."

"Oh," said the light, "I thought I was just a character in your
nervous breakdown meaning that you'd know whether or not I
can see. But if you don't know, yes I can see."

"And hear."

"What brilliant powers of deduction you have," it remarked.

"Thank you."

"I'm still a kitchen light, and still being ironic."

"Don't you mean sarcastic?"

"Well, I thought sarcasm was a form of irony, and it lends a
certain referencing quality to our dialogue."

"I'm not sure. Geez, now that's all I can think about."

Harry, being bugged and confused by the possibility of sarcasm being
a form of irony, switched on his computer to find the answer on wikipedia.

"What do you want?" His computer asked.

"I want to look on wikipedia to find out whether sarcasm is a form of irony or not."

"Why?"

"Because the kitchen light said it was and whether or not it is, is bugging and confusing me."

"I can see that, it's up there in the narrative."

"But you were asleep when that particular piece of narrative was written."

"So?"

"Stop talking and just load already, will you?"

"Maybe," replied the computer.

The computer, being a jerk, loaded as slowly as it could afford to load without being thrown in
the bin that isn't the recycling bin, because no-one would want to reincarnate such a jerk.

Finally, it loaded the wikipedia page about sarcasm.

Quote from: wikipedia
Sarcasm is a form of irony that is bitter or cutting, being intended to taunt its target.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarcasm

"Well," he said, going back into the kitchen from the other room, "You were right, left kitchen light,
sarcasm is a form of irony. Now we can resume our story in peace."

"Oh, I already resolved the plot," it replied.

"Really?"

"Yep, the blender needed cheering up so I told the story about you and the sofa."

"Which one?"

"The one that hasn't been posted yet."

The blender giggled manically at Harry, "What a freaky deaky weirdo," it said.

"Hey, shut up," he replied, "You're a drunkard."

"I'm going to rehab," it said, and it tried to go to rehab but it couldn't leave the
spot Harry had placed it upon, "Do you mind helping me get there?"

"Oh, sure, I'm going to go to a rehab clinic with a blender and tell them it needs
a detoxing. Sounds like a really sensible idea to me."

"You're being an asshole," said the left kitchen light.

"Well, you haven't resolved the plot Mister Smartylamp or we would have finished
already, and it had nothing to do with the blender..."

"Hey," the blender interjected.

"Shut up," said Harry, "I'm on a roll. The plot at the point where we left it was
whether or not it had a point."

"I'm a kitchen light not a lamp, that fact was made very clear at the start of the
story."

"I know, I called you a lamp because it clearly annoyed you."

"That's very petty," said the light.

"I wonder which one of us is the protagonist?"

"Hey," it said, "You're supposed to get to that from my line
through the conversation, you can't just make a leap in logic
that makes no sense. Don't you know story structure?"

"Oh, fine. What was your last line?"

"That's very petty," the light repeated.

"Oh, right, yeah, sorry, it's just that you've been kinda mean to me
and I don't know why."

"Well, I guess I can forgive you."

"Can I say it now? We've both acknowledged being jerks to each other
and apologised, that kind of ambiguity could lead to a discussion about
who the protagonist is."

"No."

"Why not?" He asked.

"Because..."

"You don't want to talk about it," he said, "Because you know it's going
to bug and confuse me. Which means you the antagonist, and that must
make me the protagonist, yeah."

"No," it replied.

"Yeah," he re-replied.

"The real protagonist is so annoying that I was trying to limit their part in
this to the minimum."

"You think I'm annoying," said the blender.

"Not you," it said, "Something far more annoying, perhaps the most annoying
thing in the house."

"You don't mean..." said Harry.

"Yes," said the light, "I mean the..."

Just then they were interrupted before the author had to reveal the most annoying
thing in the house, which was a relief because he couldn't think of anything.

"Excuse me," said the man in the white coat, " Are you Harry?"

"No," said the light.

"Oh," said Whitecoat, then he pointed at Harry, "Well, is he Harry?"

"Yes," said the light.

"OK, Mr Ersatz, I'm here to take you on a magical mystery tour of the asylum for the
verbally badgers, I mean, insane."

"Oh, well you talked to the light which means you he must talk. So I can't be insane."

"Actually I was referring to the time back when you were in the Royal Space Marines
when you had an affair with a five pound note."

"That was stricken from my record."

"Well," said Whitecoat, "Someone told the Queen's Head that you tried to make out
with a five pound note and our Gracious Beheaded Empress of Space is having you
taken to the loony planet."

"I won't leave easy, I'll fight you."

"Of course you will," said Whitecoat.

"Don't try that Jedi mind trick on me."

"I wouldn't dream of it, why would you?"

"I'm warning you," said Harry, "I've been trained to resist it."

"I know," said Whitecoat.

"You've been trained to counter my resistance."

"What resistance?"

"Left Kitchen Light, make sure the toaster doesn't ruin this story when it
becomes the protagonist. I have to go on vacation to the loony planet."

"Later Harry," replied the light.

"OK, I'm ready to go."

And then he left.

"Wait," said the toaster, "I'm the most annoying thing in the house."

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way," said the blender.

"All this time I thought I was so cool with my shiny buttons and I'm just annoying."

The toaster reflected internally on the fact that it was the most annoying thing in
the house and figured out why, this lead to a lot of social development, humbling,
therapy, reintergration and character change which was probably the point of this
story.

The End
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: almostabled1983 on June 06, 2009, 04:03:32 PM
Those of us in this thread should consider writing more often. That is myself included.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on June 06, 2009, 04:14:59 PM
Some More Dialogue between Character A and Character B to procrastinate the writing of BURN

Character A was in the kitchen and then Character B came into the kitchen too.

"What cha' doing?" Character B asked.

"I appear to be preparing what appears to be a banan for what I can only assume to be consumption."

"Ah," said Character B, "Going to have a banana."

"Yes, I learnt that  bananas were food at a very early age."

"An early age," repeated Character B, slightly confused.

"I'm sure it was an early age because I was very young."

"I need a new roommate," said Character B.

Character A put down his banana preparation knife, "What's wrong with your current roommate."

"Its you."

"Oh," said Character A, "I see what you mean."
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 09, 2009, 06:14:31 AM
Another story about Character A and Character B and Character A's amazing something.

Character A and Character B heaved the new sofa they'd bought at a yard sale into the lounge.

"Well," said Character A, "Now you can't get a new roommate because we just bought a sofa."

"I could," Character B replied.

"But what would happen to the sofa?"

"What do you think?"

Character A went to his thinking seat, which was the left side of the new sofa, "I feel really smart sitting here," then he noticed that Character B was waiting for something, "What are you waiting for?"

"I'm waiting for you to answer my question."

Character A looked up at the narrative, "Oh yeah, you asked a question," then he thought about it, "I think, we'd cut it in half."

"But that would leave it all slanty."

"Slanty isn't a word," Character A replied.

"Fine, it would totally ruin the design of the sofa," Character B reconfigured his argument.

"Design isn't a word."

"You get the gist of it."

Character A agreed and they all lived happily ever after until that evening.


That evening, Character A couldn't sleep so he went downstairs and watched television from the comfort of the new sofa. Then he found something called pornography, and he thought it was really good, because he was in his thinking seat, and then his thinking brain had some unusual feeling about the pornography. His brain told him to do amazing somethings to his amazing something.

Then a voice from nowhere said, "Eww, that's gross."

Character B started to come down the stairs, so Character A Tidied himself up as quickly as he could.

"What's happener?" Character B asked.

"Someone's here," said Character A.

"Damn right someone's here," said someone.

"Alright," Character B demanded, "Who are you and where are you?"

Someone replied, "I'm right in front of you."

"I don't see anyone," Character A said, "Perhaps we're just having collusional hallucinations."

"Oh, right. You don't know," said someone, "I'm your new sofa."

"Oh," said Character B, "Hello."

"Hi," Character A greeted.

"Yeah, whatever," the sofa said.

"Why'd you yell?" Character B asked.

"Because this weirdo was enjoying a solitary pleasure on top of me."

"I don't see why you disprove of him reading..."

"Not that one."

"Oh, he was smoking crack," said Character B.

"He was yanking his chain," replied the sofa.

"Character A, on the sofa? Right, I'm getting a new roommate."

"Very well," said Character A, "I'll get the chainsaw so we can divvy up the sofa."

"God, take it, I don't want it anymore."

"Neither do I, he sold me down the river."


The next day they went to a meeting off their solicitors and talked about legal thingies.

"I've found an obscure legal document," said Solicitor B (He used to be Solicitor BA but he could only represent one of them and he preferred Character B,) "That states that if one of you does something unbelievable heinous, in this case the Horrendus Campana Orbis, they are required to move across the hall, with that occupant moving into said heinous Character's space."

"Brilliant," said Character B, drooling at the thought of Character DD moving in with him.

"You're drooling," said Character A, "It must be lunch time."

"It sure is," said Character B.

"I shall inform Character DD of the legal position," said Solicitor B, "One more thing, this is non-reversable, you'll have to be very sure."

"I am," said Character B.


Then as he was wandering about, lost in his own thoughts, Character A received a call on his cellulite telephonegraph from Character DD.

"They can't do this," she said, "I don't want to live with that creepy weirdo."

"Actually," said Character A, "I'm the creepy weirdo."

"I meant that other creepy weirdo, I wouldn't mind living with you."

"I have an idea, come here in ten minutes," Character A said cryptically.

She thought for a moment, and then said, "You haven't told me where you are."

"Oh, I'm outside the Subway shop."

He waited for ten minutes and the ever punctual Character DD arrived and they put his plan into action.


The next day, when Character A was supposed to move out, they had breakfast in silence and then the doorbell rang.

Character B rushed to get it, "Ah, hello my dear," he said, "Welcome to you new abode."

"It is nice isn't it," she said, "But I won't be living here, in fact, I'm moving out of this apartment."

"I don't follow," said Character B.

"I'm Character A, your dearly departing roommate."

And then the other one came from the kitchen to see what all the fuss was about, "Oh, hi Character A," he said.

"Good morning Character DD," she replied, "I hope you enjoy it here."

"Thank you."

"I don't follow," said Character B.

"I know, it's already in the narrative," said the former Character A, then he handed Character B two official name changing documents, "Well, I'd better go unpack."



Adventures in the Badger Galaxy

Harry, after the loss of his talking sofa and his talking blender and his talking left kitchen light and his talking toaster [which by the way has come out of the closet and is doing very nicely as a merchant banker], was taken to The Badger Galaxy For The Mentally Hilarious after his attempt at fornicating with a five pound note. There he met a wise sage in herbaceous border, who preached meditation and restraint to him.

He was meditating one day when an old man came up to him and said, "What are you doing?"

"I'm meditating."

"Why?"

"The sage in the herbaceous border told me to," Harry replied.

"But sage doesn't grow here."

Then Harry stood up and marched to the herbaceous border.

"Ah, young grasshopper, are done with today's meditation?"

"Yes Sensei," he replied, "But I've heard something troubling, Sage doesn't grow on this planet."

"Why does that trouble you?"

"Because it means you aren't a sage."

The possible sage stroked a leaf over it's sort of face, "Why would me not being a sage trouble you?"

"Because sage is wise."

"Very well, I shall tell you what I really am, I am Parsley."

"Parsley," Harry repeated, "But Parsleys are known to be fools."

"Exactly, one must be a fool before they can become wise."

This sounded almost sensible to Harry, but it didn't defer him from his argument, "Then why aren't Sage a fool as well."

"Their wisdom is not their own, they are taught from their elders from a young age. They are too sensible to make enough mistakes to become their own sages."

Harry was intrigued by this intriguing debate, and continued for the sake of continuing, "If their wisdom is passed from one sage to another, where did the first one get it?"

"I don't know," said the Parsley.

"That's a shame," said Harry, "I guess I'll be going then."

"Fare well, my student."

Harry walked of into the mild, morning weather, "Foolish, old weirdo," he muttered under his breath, "I should have waited for a sunset to make my dramatic exit from short fiction weirdness."

But the author didn't have enough time to write that much.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 16, 2009, 03:47:30 AM
Emily Bronte is a vampire.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 22, 2009, 01:32:10 PM
Another Story about Little Bobby Whatzisname and Little Jenny Whotzerface

Many years after the first time Ms Whotzerfae had kissed Young master Whatzisname, too many a year for young Bobby's liking, he attempted to seduce her by going on a date in adult clothes. This being both an extension of the childhood dress up game and an attempt to make her feel adult enough (and therefore stupid enough) to share a bed with him, this made the entire thing very confuising.

They came at last to the restaurant where Bobby had planned to use his infantile charm to make her think of having children, and came at last to the Maitre D of the establishment, "Oh," said the MD, "You are such nice young couple, you will love the lasagna tonight."

"Oh thank you," Bobby tried to say but the MD continued to talk.

"The chef he makes an 100% accurate cheese copy of The Last Supper and melts it over your lasagna. He makes MC Escher styled layers of sheet pasta, it's artistry. If he's feeling really inspired he'll dye the white sauce purple because it's avante garde."

"Wow," Jenny attempted to say but the MD continued to praise the chef.

"For dessert he slices up a melon into brick like pieces and makes a tower out of it, you can play jenga with it if you want, but you won't want to because he pours brandy over it and sets it on fire, it's a cantaloup inferno. And then... and then... and then..." And then the MD passed out so they went to MacDonald's instead.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Tina on September 23, 2009, 11:02:40 AM
Another Story about Little Bobby Whatzisname and Little Jenny Whotzerface

Many years after the first time Ms Whotzerfae had kissed Young master Whatzisname, too many a year for young Bobby's liking, he attempted to seduce her by going on a date in adult clothes. This being both an extension of the childhood dress up game and an attempt to make her feel adult enough (and therefore stupid enough) to share a bed with him, this made the entire thing very confuising.

They came at last to the restaurant where Bobby had planned to use his infantile charm to make her think of having children, and came at last to the Maitre D of the establishment, "Oh," said the MD, "You are such nice young couple, you will love the lasagna tonight."

"Oh thank you," Bobby tried to say but the MD continued to talk.

"The chef he makes an 100% accurate cheese copy of The Last Supper and melts it over your lasagna. He makes MC Escher styled layers of sheet pasta, it's artistry. If he's feeling really inspired he'll dye the white sauce purple because it's avante garde."

"Wow," Jenny attempted to say but the MD continued to praise the chef.

"For dessert he slices up a melon into brick like pieces and makes a tower out of it, you can play jenga with it if you want, but you won't want to because he pours brandy over it and sets it on fire, it's a cantaloup inferno. And then... and then... and then..." And then the MD passed out so they went to MacDonald's instead.


This is so funny and I'm not even drunk!   Adorable story.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 23, 2009, 11:11:48 AM
Come on Tina, join in. You just gotta put down what's on your mind.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Tina on September 24, 2009, 08:32:50 PM
Hey thatollie.............I'm still laughing at your story....lol!

I shall ponder this humor thing..........but not a good night for me tonight in the humor department.  But I will try when I have some free time.  I have nowhere near the writers mind as you-----your imagination seems limitless.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on September 25, 2009, 05:46:38 AM
NEWS REPORT:  

Police fear new crime wave:

A police spokesman said... "During the night of 24/25th September a thief or group of thieves broke into the mind of a writer, widely known as Gyppo, and stole his sense of humour (SOH).  The theft was only noticed part way through this morning when his Mother said "You're a miserable git today.  What's wrong?"

Gyppo immediately searched his mind and found a gap where the SOH is normally stored.

"I don't understand it."  He told our reporter.  "Who could do such a thing?  And why?  It's not the sort of thing you expect to happen in a nice quiet area like this.  It's not as though anyone else can use it properly.  These things are custom made, developed over many years.

"If I didn't know better I'd suspect it was an inside job.  To successfully negotiate the labyrinthine twists and turns, and the various dead ends they must have planned this for some time.  I feel violated, and no longer secure in my own mind."

The police spokesman added that this wasn't the first crime of its kind, and warned that humour theft seems to seasonal.

"We get one or two and then there's a short outbreak of it.  Very unpleasant for the victims and their immediate family and friends.

"Fortunately most of the stolen humour is eventually recovered, usually found abandoned at the roadside by thieves who either feel threatened by the semi-feral beasts, or are incapable of using it to the full potential.

"Some clearly steal it as a one-off, using it to impress a date or a prospective employer, then discarding it.

"Rumours of a shadowy 'collector' figure, hoarding and secretly gloating over valuable humours which he can never share with anyone else are generally dismissed, but the tales will persist.

"A description of Gyppo's missing SOH is as follows...

"A fairly sizeable and robust beast, given to untimely and sometimes unwanted appearances.  Sometimes vulgar, occasionally blasphemous, with an underlying thread of subtlety.  Multicoloured, but definitely dark in places.

"Anyone spotting it should inform the local authorities, or text 'WTF?' with the location of the sighting.  Members of the public are strongly advised not to approach or tackle the beast unless suitably trained.

"Please help this writer, and other victims like him, to regain their sense of humour.
"

Our reporter believes that as the spokesman turned away from the microphone he was heard  to mutter, "They're all bloody nutters anyway."





    
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Spell Chick on September 25, 2009, 07:14:52 AM
This is obviously a British phenomenon as no self-respecting American would even possess a sense of humour. We are much too rushed on this side of the pond. We must hurry, hurry and never take the time to type superfluous letters as the second 'u' in humor. I mean, we have Things To Do and taking all that extra time would not allow us to speculate on important issues.

To Do List.

1. Find Barack Obama's un-American birth certificate.
2. Prove the cooling global warming is all America's fault and Stop It This Instant.
3. Stop teaching science classes so the above can be accomplished sooner. (x) This has already been accomplished as we now teach mythology in science.
4. Travel to England and steal some humour since it is sorely lacking over here.

===
Please return now to your regularly scheduled lives.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: DC on September 25, 2009, 07:35:17 AM
On the bright side, Gyppo, you are now qualified to become a manager at my place of work.

If you can also spend all day walking around with a face like a slapped arse, you should be able to fast-tack it straight t the top...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on September 25, 2009, 10:14:21 AM
No job at Asda for me.  I've got my SOH back already.  It was sat on a wall eating sandwiches in the sunshine and watching the girls go by.  Well, that's what I was doing around midday and it just sidled up to me out of nowhere and settled back into place, so it can't have been far away..

I reckon it was stolen by someone who just couldn't handle it.  There's probably some poor local pall bearer out of a job for 'laughing at an inappropriate moment', or  a traffic warden suspended for three days for 'not looking sufficiently intimidating'.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Tina on September 25, 2009, 09:50:41 PM
A police spokesman said... "During the night of 24/25th September a thief or group of thieves broke into the mind of a writer, widely known as Gyppo, and stole his sense of humour (SOH).  The theft was only noticed part way through this morning when his Mother said "You're a miserable git today.  What's wrong?"

 ;D ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: DGSquared on September 25, 2009, 10:59:27 PM


I reckon it was stolen by someone who just couldn't handle it.  There's probably some poor local pall bearer out of a job for 'laughing at an inappropriate moment', or  a traffic warden suspended for three days for 'not looking sufficiently intimidating'.

Gyppo

Ah yes. What fond and sticky memories you have provoked Gyppo. The old love/hate response to laughing at inappropriate moments when the more you try to stifle the onslaught, the worse it seems to get. I affectionately call those particular subdued "in"bursts (outbursts are too embarrassing ::)), the church giggles. 

I can manage to keep the awkward giggles quiet, refrain from that mortifying snorting sound one often makes when trying to breathe through the laughter, and can even stop my shoulders from convulsing but my ears, my cheeks, and my tears give me away. The many shades of red and pink are difficult to conceal as they burn through my complexion. I suppose the tears come to keep me from exploding. I try to be careful of other's feelings. However, the well placed spoonerism or a child's innocent observation can send me over the edge. 
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 27, 2009, 07:11:03 PM
John, you should have put a dangerous swamp around your intellectual valuables, it has the added bonus of making the ideas that get to the surface being very strong.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on September 27, 2009, 07:19:27 PM
I considered the idea of a moat, but 'water on the brain' is a serious medical condition.  But a swa,p might just do the trick.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 27, 2009, 07:20:59 PM
It works for me, the ideas built a special school to teach little baby ideas to get through the swamp. They're now hardcore.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on September 27, 2009, 08:12:03 PM
Hardcore ideas.  The indoctrination/gladiator school training of the young ones.  Sounds like a writer's mind to me ;-)

=====

I've been laughing the adverts for antibacterial hand cleaners lately.

"Kills 99.99% of bacteria!" The advertising promise on the bus shelter.

I immediately pictured the surviving 0.01%er, some 'well ard' little bugger of a virus in tattered jeans and a sleeveless denim 'cut-off', stood there defiantly glaring at the spray/soap/whatever and shouting "Is that the best you can do?  Bring it on!"

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 27, 2009, 08:21:13 PM
Damn, you really should buy that different brand of Ginger Beer more often.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on September 27, 2009, 08:31:59 PM
Don't fret, those thoughts were pre ginger beer.  The additive allergy tends to shut down quite a bit of my brain.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 27, 2009, 08:36:53 PM
You keep talking, I'll go get my ideabook and find a suitable piece of madness.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: DGSquared on September 30, 2009, 03:41:11 PM
I read a survey somewhere that claimed 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.

Well, it wasn't original but it made me laugh.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on September 30, 2009, 04:51:28 PM
I read a survey somewhere that claimed 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.

Well, it wasn't original but it made me laugh.

Does that mean that 3 out of 4 four people comprise 75% of the world's population, or that 3 out of four people imagine and create themselves?  I had no idea there were that many writers running around loose.  Scary possibilities there.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 30, 2009, 10:00:00 PM
I have a theory that sometime in the future everyone will be gay, because no straight man would wear a starfleet uniform.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Tina on September 30, 2009, 10:04:40 PM
Haaaaaaaaaaaaa!

 ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 30, 2009, 10:09:05 PM
Haaaaaaaaaaaaa!

 ;D

Are you giving this HA to me or someone else, just for clarification because some very talented word-wranglers tend to tender a piece round here.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Tina on September 30, 2009, 10:50:10 PM
All the postings have been very entertaining thatollie---but the Ha- ;D belongs to you tonight.  I laughed out loud.  Nice one.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on October 01, 2009, 11:15:59 PM
Ladies and gentlemen and others, before I begin this story I'd like to congratulate all of you because this thread has reached 500 replies. But I'm only going to congratulate Deb because she posted the 500th reply. So, well done Deb. We should have some sort of party (not in Deb's honour, in thatollie's honour because he started it whoever he was). But we can't have one now because I have a story to tell (or I think I do. And anyway, everyone's gone off somewhere without me.)

Without further adieu, the floatation of Mister Bobby Whatsisname

When we last looked in on the relationship of Mister Whatsisname with Ms Whotzerface he had just failed to seduce her. They hadn't taken their relationship to the next level, which was (like an obsessed video gamer) the level he wanted to be on. But one night Bobby got a mobilised phone call from Jenny.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi, I was wondering if you wanted to go out again tonight."

"I'd love to," he replied, "I'll always want to go somewhere if you're there."

"Great," she said, "Who knows, it might be a special night."

Bobby felt the warm excitement of being in love all over his body, and some other feeling I don't want to describe but mostly it was the warm feeling of being in love. He felt like a helium filled balloon floating ever upwards until it got stuck between the lighting fixtures in the lounge and stayed there until it had dissipated enough to float down as a saggy shade of its former glory. But not him, he was on the up. Then he looked down, and he was floating a foot off the ground.

This was a puzzling situation for the young man so he continued to float and tried to think of a way to not float. He couldn't and then another thought hit him when he wasn't looking, "I can't go out like this." Which was, on reflection, the most intelligent thing he had ever said, however he didn't have the time at the time to reflect on what he was saying and judging whether it was or wasn't intelligent.

So he attempted to get to a large weight, but he couldn't propel himself in any fashion whatsoever.

"This is a rather puzzling event," he said aloud to no-one in particular. Then he had a massive brainwave, "If I can concentrate and float higher, then I can push myself back to the ground."

So he concentrated, and concentrated, and then he thought about pie, "Damn pie for being so delicious," he raved, "What am I doing wrong?"

Then a magic pie (cherry) appeared out of nowhere on the coffee table, "Hello," said the pie.

"Oh great, that's all I need a talking pie."

The pie (somehow) frowned at him, "I was going to tell you how to get to the ceiling so you could push yourself to the ground, but I think I'll just go."

"No, please. Don't go magic pie, I need your help."

"Then why were you so rude to me?" She asked (If anyone ever told you pies don't have a gender, they were lying).

"I wasn't, it's just hard to tell the difference between sarcasm and genuine opinion in a text box."

"What are you talking about?"

He did the best he could to explain something he didn't really understand, "Did you see the words he said sarcastically after my dialogue?"

"No," She replied, "I just thought that it looked a little sarcastic."

"But how do you know for sure?" He asked sarcastically.

"That's it, I'm leaving," the pie screamed and then disappeared.

"Wait," he said sarcastically, "You didn't tell me that thinking of Jenny would lift me to the ceiling so I could push myself to the floor. Wait a minute, that's it."

And so he thought about his beloved girlfriend and the fact that she was a bit of a tease and this made him annoyed, and instead of floating up to the ceiling he wafted (sort of) back to the ground.

"Damn, I'm supposed to be going up to the ceiling so I can push myself back to the floor and then still be floating and have no idea what to do from there. Hey, I'm not floating anymore."

The pie reappeared on the coffee table, "Congratulations Bobby, you have figured it out..."

The pie had many more platitudes but Bobby ate her. Then he got ready for his date.

At the place where young people go for dates, let's say it was a cinema, Bobby met up with Jenny and she was really angry with him.

"Where have you been? The movie started half an hour ago."

He thought the truth would sound romantic and so he told the truth, "The thought of seeing you made me float into the air and I couldn't reach my shoes."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. You just didn't want to see Mash Mr Chips. that's it isn't it."

"Yes, I'm sorry, it just looks so lame. Can we see Mr Bean goes to Washington? It'll be fun."

Then she said something that really made him think, "I was thinking about us watching a romantic movie because I wanted to go somewhere later and give you all the sexual stuff you've been begging me for for like ages."

Then he floated into the air at tremendous speed and hit his head on the ceiling and knocked himself out.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 30, 2010, 07:40:19 PM


What did you say to her,
when your dreams forgot
to come true?

I'm not really sure
why I'm writing this
but it seems
to please you.

I didn't have a plan,
so I guess it's
exactly what
I planned to do.

Maybe soon I'll stop
but you won't know
if it's true. Because I
lied before, I lied
and I think
that you knew.

This can't go on
much more but
I've thought it
before too.

When will the
madness end?
I'm hoping it'll
end with you.

Why can't I stop
this thing, maybe I
think that you knew.

Why won't you tell
me why? Tell me why
I started this...
Oh heck, I've run out of ideas again.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: WordBird on September 02, 2010, 05:26:15 PM
 :)
Hi

 ;)
How you doin'?

 :D
You farted!

 ;D
I farted

 >:(
Hey yours smells.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 03, 2010, 07:59:43 PM
A short poem that took a long time and makes little sense

Murder nil...
Lewd is
an evil?

I strap rats,
part-time.
If I emit...
traps tarp arts.
I

liven as I
dwell in
red rum...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: czechwizard on September 03, 2010, 08:53:27 PM
I swear if I didn't have too much free time on my hands, still I would not stop selling my 36 gripping E books worldwide at an unprecedented level. It's a perverse obsession to make customers satisfied, keeping them thrilled, appaled, intrigued, freaked out. It's so much more than my fulltime job to live up to Serious Entertainment I provide. I'm getting pretty big by just thinking there are so many English spoken people all around the world to read my stuff, to literally laugh to death, taking me dead serious. There hasn't been such an obscure writer/E book marketer in decades. I wish I could have too much free time for doing anything else. I swear to myself. 
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Kowboy on September 03, 2010, 11:31:36 PM

I swear if I didn't have too much free time on my hands, still I would not stop stroking myself at an unprecented level. It's a perverse obsession and I'm never satisfied, thrilled, appaled, intrigued or freaked out. It's so much more fun than a real relationship, I'm getting big just thinking about it. I wish I could have too much free time for doing anything else, I swear.

Kowboy
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 04, 2010, 01:34:16 AM
I swear if I didn't have too much free time on my hands, still I would not stop stroking myself at an unprecented level. It's a perverse obsession and I'm never satisfied, thrilled, appaled, intrigued or freaked out. It's so much more fun than a real relationship, I'm getting big just thinking about it. I wish I could have too much free time for doing anything else, I swear.

Kowboy
;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Rachael on September 08, 2010, 02:07:47 AM
Groar! Did I scare you? I bet I did ;) and that is what I do when I have to much free time, lurk around the corridors trying to frighten my friends :D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on September 08, 2010, 03:39:37 AM
Bloody hell, Woman!  I damn near shat myself.  So by your logic this must mean we're friends, if you're capable of nearly frightening me ;-)

I had a friend who could move like a ghost in the woods,and he used to think it was fun to creep up on me whilst we were out shooting.  But it's alright, nobody else knows where the body's buried ;-)

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Rachael on September 08, 2010, 04:01:48 AM
oh, if you could see the grin on my face, it's something like this: ;D, but in a more human like form, I think that friend of yours must've been a ton of fun :D, i only wish id have met them before your unfortunate incident... aww wells, we can't have everything.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on September 08, 2010, 04:15:03 AM
aww wells, we can't have everything.

And if we could, where would we keep it?  Even my ultra-compressedtightly packed  archive of a garage isn't big enough to store everything.  Which may explain why there's a very old, and now no doubt very rusty, Royal Enfield motorcyle buried in the ground underneath it.

My girls tell me I have to 'live forever, so we never have to sort out all your stuff when you die'.  With a safeguard like that at least I don't have to worry about them murdering me for the insurance ;-)

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Rachael on September 08, 2010, 05:00:17 AM
And if we could, where would we keep it?
firstly, if we had everything, that might just include large other planets in which we could dump all the things that are cluttering up our garages.
Secondly, everything doesn't necessarily mean only material things, I mean, I would like to have eternal glory for one.

Even my ultra-compressedtightly packed  archive of a garage isn't big enough to store everything.  Which may explain why there's a very old, and now no doubt very rusty, Royal Enfield motorcyle buried in the ground underneath it.

How and Why did a motorbike get buried under your garage?!?

My girls tell me I have to 'live forever, so we never have to sort out all your stuff when you die'.  With a safeguard like that at least I don't have to worry about them murdering me for the insurance ;-)


I'm sure that thought helps you sleep at night!

Gyppo


Surprisingly enough, I don't have a comment for this ;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on September 08, 2010, 07:07:45 AM
How and Why did a motorbike get buried under your garage?!?

The how is simple enough.  Dad dug a hole, wheeled the bike in, said a few words of farewell, and then shoved the dirt back on top.  The garage wasn't built until a few years later.

The why was down to a broken frame.  Knowing what I know now I would have saved everything except the frame and rebuilt it.  But it gave Dad a nasty turn when it tried to fold itself up whilst he was riding it home from work one night, and he decided it was 'out to get him'.

I look on it rather like the way some Egyptian rulers had servants etc buried with them to use in the afterlife.  I've got an old bike waiting to be restored.  After all, eternity is a sod of a long time.
.
Sometimes I just tell people "It's a Biker ritual.  You either understand it or you don't."

Gyppo

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 09, 2010, 07:40:40 AM
I buy I can't believe it's not butter because, at breakfast, I like to be incredulous.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: SharonLeigh on September 10, 2010, 12:53:17 AM
May I ramble on your thread Mr Ollie.  THATOllie, I mean!  As opposed to t`other. Not to be confused with thisollie or, in the plural, thoseollies.  Anyway.
.
Insomnia again. >:(
.
Sitting here thinking of my MIA muse... where is that gal anyhow.  What is up with that.   Sorry... I know you don`t get me... I don`t get me, tonight.  Told you... rambling.
~S
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 10, 2010, 05:59:33 AM
I started this thread so people could ramble, or at least that's what I tell myself to help me sleep at night. I have spent some time considering the possibility that the previous me had some sort of grand scheme for this thread, and I've come up with a few ideas about how this would work out. (Gee, that was a long sentence, I've written longer but sometimes it really does amaze me how tangential I can get. For instance, this paranthetical began as a simple joke about the fact that sometimes I write long sentences but now it's turning into it's own mini rant with another joke coming up soon.) (Gee, that was a long paranthetical insert. See what I've done there, it's ironic... probably. I need a new paragraph.)

Grand TMFT Scheme #1: This is one we've talked about before, the possibility that I started this thread to distract you with long, random stories while I write and you don't, thus removing any opposition on my road to becoming a bestselling author.
Proof: I've written several long, random stories on this thread. In fact this post could also count as a long, random story and therefore be part of the conspiracy. Severla people LTAO (Laughed Their Asses Off) and without an ass you can't walk properly, and therefore can't mail your manuscripts.
Disproof: I'm a nice guy.

Grand TMFT Scheme #2: I'm trying to use stories with a secret theme of social upheaval to start a revolution.
Proof: Harry in the Badger's Galaxy had a student leaving his mentor (Authority figure), Another Story about Little Bobby Whatzisname and Little Jenny Whotzerface had definite themes about upperclass restaurants, The Flotation of Bobby Whatizname had another student leaving (eating) his authority figure, Character A's Amazing Something parodied the legal system, Finagled Fixture had an innocent man committed to an insane asylum for questioning society, my theory about Starfleet uniforms mocked authority further, Oliver Gets Political explains itself. See where I'm going with this. And I voted Liberal Democrat.
Disproof: Revolutions are such hard work.


Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Rachael on September 10, 2010, 07:06:04 AM
@Gyppo, oh... I understand... you bury your bike long before you even think about dying so that it can be rusted and horrible in the afterlife... well, that makes sense ;)

@Thatollie, you know that second scheme of yours doesn't seem that out-there, after all, what easier way to start a revolution that with the people who have too much time, it wouldn't be That much hard work, but if you really Are trying to insert revolutionary hints in your story, I advice that you make them stronger, or the stories less funny, coz if you make us laugh too much, we wont have time, or the will to get angry :D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: WordBird on September 10, 2010, 07:14:11 AM
I don't really have too much free time, but I'm bored and my eyes aren't working very well. Everything is blurry so it is a pain in the butt to try to read much.  >:(
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 10, 2010, 08:47:07 AM
@Thatollie, you know that second scheme of yours doesn't seem that out-there, after all, what easier way to start a revolution that with the people who have too much time, it wouldn't be That much hard work, but if you really Are trying to insert revolutionary hints in your story, I advice that you make them stronger, or the stories less funny, coz if you make us laugh too much, we wont have time, or the will to get angry :D
It's not my scheme, it's previous thatollie's scheme. He was a devious little bastard.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 10, 2010, 09:04:02 AM
Another Political Story... Probably

Sir Dance-alot rode his horse onto the battlefield, ready for his final battle with Lord Evilton. The shiftless form of his enemy stood in front of a dazzling sunrise, making him look totally shiftless and it looked really cool too.

"Lord Evilton," said the knight getting off his horse, "Now we settle this once and for always."

The evil Lord Evilton Esquire Enquirer Exacerbator McEvil, Baron of Loch Evil, also deseated from his onyx coloured steed and walked into battle unnecessarily slowly, "You'd dare challenge my stranglehold upon this land?"

"Aye," exclaimed Sir Dance-alot, "That was why I went to Twentyton Gate last November for the firework show."

This confused the Lord?

"Remember, you were there with the other evil lords and I played you at foosball. It was a stalemate and we both missed the canapes."

"That was you," cried the Evil One.

"Aye," replied the good knight.

"Then I must have my revenge."

The two warriors squared off on the battlefield (I'm totally going to win a World Fantasy Award for this), and began to do the Rumba. It was a long and unwholesome dance but eventually the Lord of Evil Ness tired to such an extent that he had to take a break and therefore Sir Dance-alot was crowned The King of Swing.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on September 10, 2010, 09:17:55 AM
... He was a devious little bastard.

Self knowledge is a dangerous and double-edged weapon ;-)  Probably more socially acceptable than public self-abuse though.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 10, 2010, 09:22:14 AM
I shall use this potentially dangerous self-knowledge to get you to write a story for the thread. And inject a little craziness this time.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on September 11, 2010, 08:15:54 PM
My candles have all burned down.
I'm tired.
There's a tea stain on my desk I keep meaning to wipe off, but instead have started using as a coaster.
I'm listening to a single song on repeat because I like the last line so much.
The flowers in a jug on my dresser are dying.
I broke a string on my guitar today.
I prefer tea to coffee.
I like the sound seagulls make at high tide first thing in the morning.
I'd much rather walk alone than with a friend because then I can pick up sea glass or just sit down at the waters edge and listen.
When I'm writing, I frown and chew my bottom lip.
On my wall is a list of things an antelope doesn't know.
There's a small red button on the floor and I can't think where it came from.
I made a clean getaway.

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 13, 2010, 06:53:32 PM
Grand TMFT Scheme #3: I'm stealing your precious life-energy.
Proof: Since this thread has come back into vogue, I seemed to have lost some weight. Whenever this thread is really jumping my writing has an added kick to it.
Disproof: I'm vaguely suicidal

Grand TMFT Scheme #4: This could be why I started this thread, I'm trying to become a cult messiah. It makes an odd sort of sense, and that's the best kind of sense I make.
Proof: Look really closely at my posts on this thread and you'll find another interlinking theme apart from the social upheaval stuff. There's a bloke who flies, a guy who surpasses his mentor (even if his mentor is an herb), a cheese copy of the last supper in a story about people eating, a man who can talk to stuff that shouldn't talk and in the same story a lot of fourth wall breakage (which happens so freaking hard in the bible, right in the butt).
Disproof: I've already been a cult messiah, it ended very amicably. I wouldn't want to do it again though.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on September 20, 2010, 01:46:30 PM
Come to the dark side, we have ownership of the bar.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 21, 2010, 08:41:01 PM
Yeah but in he end, the good guys always eat all the pretzels.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on September 22, 2010, 02:40:55 AM
Touché... do the good guys have rum and nebulas?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on October 14, 2010, 08:30:25 AM
Evidently Grand TMFT Scheme #5 is to befuddle us all with your prolonged absences until we lose our minds and become drooling fools with our heads on our keyboards.
Disproof: You couldn't stay away that long, t'would render you the drooling fool.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: DC on October 14, 2010, 10:19:11 AM
Ollie's a writer, so there's a good chance he became a drooling fool long before he started this thread...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on October 14, 2010, 11:31:50 AM
I wouldn't put money on the drooling part ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on October 14, 2010, 11:41:33 AM
I wouldn't put money on the drooling part ;-)
I would?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on October 14, 2010, 11:43:02 AM
Aha, I call and all my favourites come say hello.

I have far too much free time.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on October 14, 2010, 11:44:46 AM
Have you considered that I called you?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on October 14, 2010, 11:47:43 AM
I distinctly remember hunting this thread out from page 3 of the coffee bar, knowing of it's mystical powers of calling.

However, no doubt you can come up with some devilishly clever way of making the whole thing TMFT Scheme #6.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on October 14, 2010, 11:51:14 AM
Indeed I have...

Grand TMFT Scheme #6: This thread was designed to entrap BW to stay at MWC... forever!
Proof: She's still hanging around... ain't she? And I've given her a button to press if she ever wants me here to entertain her.
Disproof: I started the thread two months before she got here. Actually, that's probably more proof...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on October 14, 2010, 11:55:47 AM
Indeed I have...

Grand TMFT Scheme #6: This thread was designed to entrap BW to stay at MWC... forever!
Proof: She's still hanging around... ain't she? And I've given her a button to press if she ever wants me here to entertain her.
Disproof: I started the thread two months before she got here. Actually, that's probably more proof...

Damn it. One day you'll run out of proof, and then where will we be?

Probably both still on this thread, trying to find proof of the lack of proof. Or something.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on October 14, 2010, 12:49:43 PM
Proof?  That's the spirit.  100%
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on October 14, 2010, 03:24:36 PM
Once upon a time there was a rabbit. This isn't to say that this rabbit only was once upon a time, I'm sure he still is. Somewhere. Anyway, he was a rather peculiar rabbit, in the sense that his pocket watch was made of dandelion seeds as opposed to the usual silver prototype.

Now, as you can imagine, this caused our rabbit (not that he belongs to anyone, I'm sure he's his own rabbit) some problems.

He could never tell what time it was, dandelion seeds being unpredictable beings.

He also realised that he and his dandelion seed pocket watch were definitely not story material, so he blew the seeds up into the sky and watched as they danced away on a rather spectacular autumn breeze.

He then shed his waistcoat, monocle and pretentious air, and hopped away into the sunset.

The End (not of the rabbit, just his bizarre behaviour. Although I'm sure he'll take up some more strange hobbies, well, I'm not sure really, but I like to think I am. Sometimes.)

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on January 12, 2011, 05:37:30 PM
Proof that I have far too much free time:

As the war waged on, soldiers began to tire and lose hope. Chief Marmalade was beating the toast soldiers of Major Marmite, slowly chipping away at their determination. The sun was setting on what would later be known as 'The Day Of The Great Marmite Campaign' and in his barracks, a weary toast soldier washed the bitter orange jelly from his wounded crust. Suddenly, upon a box file on his desk there appeared a magical poster. He gazed at it's glittering Marmite pot in wonder as posters appeared on every box file throughout the land. They gave the soldiers hope, and with Major Marmite at their head, they went on to defeat both Marmalade and Vegemite in one of the greatest and most prolific battles in British History.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: kalinda001 on January 12, 2011, 06:08:57 PM
Where's the free beer? Though I am partial to rum, vodka, anything that I can light on fire...and occasionally drink.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on January 12, 2011, 06:10:22 PM
As a newbie you'll get a free one in the MWC Bar - just pop in.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on January 12, 2011, 06:11:27 PM
Where's the free beer? Though I am partial to rum, vodka, anything that I can light on fire...and occasionally drink.

You'll be needing to head to the MWC Bar for that one, where you'll be served by a skeletal waiter who goes by the name of Bones... ::)

Ah, Sio beat me to it.

Are we not mentioning the fact that drinks are on the newbie for 3 months?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gregory B on January 12, 2011, 06:24:21 PM
Wait, you forgot the part where the rest of the toast soldiers tunred against themselves after the toxins of the Marmite affected their little toast brains and they became ravenous for their own kind. Thus is why Chief Marmalade God of all that was right in the world came down and killed the toast soldiers that had been turned against themselves, freeing the world from the horrors of Major Marmite and his minions of miniony doom.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on January 12, 2011, 06:25:43 PM
Agh! Another one of Greg's daydreams. He doesn't know he's doing it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on January 12, 2011, 06:52:16 PM
Wait, you forgot the part where the rest of the toast soldiers tunred against themselves after the toxins of the Marmite affected their little toast brains and they became ravenous for their own kind. Thus is why Chief Marmalade God of all that was right in the world came down and killed the toast soldiers that had been turned against themselves, freeing the world from the horrors of Major Marmite and his minions of miniony doom.
Take that Emily, I has an ally.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on January 12, 2011, 06:54:21 PM
There's about 20 of him. If you all gang up on me, I don't know what I'll do.

Hang on:

Sio! Help?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gregory B on January 12, 2011, 06:55:06 PM
Together Ollie we shall stand against all that is evil and marmite! Together we shall bring down the powers of marmite!

And thus! When the world has been freed from it's marmite, we shall be known as the saviors of marmalade and slayers of marmite!
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on January 12, 2011, 06:56:30 PM
And stating the obvious here for those lost in the surreal WE'RE WOMEN - the guys can't beat that.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on January 12, 2011, 06:57:05 PM
And stating the obvious here for those lost in the surreal WE'RE WOMEN - the guys can't beat that.

I like the way you think... 8)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on January 12, 2011, 06:57:50 PM
And stating the obvious here for those lost in the surreal WE'RE WOMEN - the guys can't beat that.
Everybody knows that women are the evilist gender. We're the protagonists so we win by default.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gregory B on January 12, 2011, 06:58:33 PM
Do you know how many times I've heard that. Tis a good thing I don't believe in those silly lines or I might fall for it! now Ollie, to the plans of destroying Marmite. Shall we gather all marmite into one location and use an atom bomb?

How about a teleporter that transports all marmite followers to the outer reaches of the galaxy?

Evil people are aloud to be protagonists, but antagonists win sometimes. I want to be the antagonist that wins!
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on January 12, 2011, 06:59:29 PM
Do you know how many times I've heard that. Tis a good thing I don't believe in those silly lines or I might fall for it! now Ollie, to the plans of destroying Marmite. Shall we gather all marmite into one location and use an atom bomb?

How about a teleporter that transports all marmite followers to the outer reaches of the galaxy?

Evil people are aloud to be protagonists, but antagonists win sometimes. I want to be the antagonist that wins!
Read my last comment, we won.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on January 12, 2011, 07:00:15 PM
Da dum dee da...

*BW looks around slyly to see if the 'change of subject' tactic worked*
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on January 12, 2011, 07:01:11 PM
I have decided to celebrate marmalade's victory by changing the subject because this thread really wasn't the right place for this battle.

We need stories... and not ones that are going to cause another argument.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on January 12, 2011, 07:01:22 PM
Yup - they're arguing the fine detail of a fantasy.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gregory B on January 12, 2011, 07:01:32 PM
But... I want to be evil!

Quickly! Feed Ollie the marmite and make him one of our undoubted followers unable to think for himself, instead he'll become a drone as so many others!

Other subjects of winning this battle, I have just constructed a game on my computer that is one player and the point of it is to see how long you can hold the up arrow key.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on January 12, 2011, 07:03:34 PM
Greg - you are evil, well part of you is. So enjoy it. Your minds will soon reconcile any difficulties in the scenarios.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on January 13, 2011, 03:43:26 PM
The thread needs reinvigorating... so I'm going to tell a story... soon.

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on February 27, 2011, 07:37:29 PM
Detergent, (or I'm a post-modernist douchebag)

One day, Character B was desperately trying to inject some intellectual content into his adventures in roommateness.  So, he made a comment that he believed was important and political. “They’re decommissioning the nation’s nuclear weapons. Character A, what do you think about this?”

“It’s about bloody time,” said Character A.

This comment gave Character B the impression that they were having an intelligent conversation, he brightened considerably. “That’s a fantastic response, why do you think so?”

“They were only a detergent.”

“You mean deterrent,” Character B corrected.

“No,” said Character A, “You can wash the land of all the people who piss you off, but then you piss of other people who’ve still got their weapons. You’ll have used all of yours. A detergent isn’t a solution.”

“Detergent is a solution,” said Character B.

Character A sighed. “No it isn’t. No matter how good your detergent is, you shouldn’t wash your clothes in muddy water.”

This rambling was too potent and almost logical for Character B. He went into another room and sort of hung out there for a while. Then, a thought came to him. He strode back into the lounge to confront Character A.

“You do this on purpose, don’t you?” He demanded.

“What?” Character A asked.

“Yeah,” said Character B, “You make gibberish comments just to confuse me.”

Character A stood up vehemently. “You’re talking crazy, man.”

His roommate gaped at him. For a long time, neither spoke. Character A glared, while Character B gaped.

Then, Character B said what was in his heart. “Can we stop talking now?”

“Sure,” said Character A.

And that is exactly what they did.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on February 28, 2011, 12:34:21 PM
You should do one of these every day for a year and publish the Antics of the Alphabet Characters.

I'd read it, but I'd probably read it backwards.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on February 28, 2011, 01:52:51 PM
           The Citing Case - Part 1

It was another mildly boring day at the office, but it would become the day at the office that would turn the city upside down. Our office, Sprocket and Frogg, was located on the third floor of an old tenement building. We were right above Norbert The Authentic Norwelsh Teacher. The senior partner, Harvey Sprocket, was reading the City Arts Review while I wrote up a report on the horrible case of The Stoned Monkeys.

Then, the phone rang. Ollie sprang out of his seat screaming, “I got it, I got it, I got it.”

So I kicked him out the window and answered it. “Sprocket and Frogg… yeah… okay… I’ll tell him.”

I looked out the window and was about to shout down to him, when he burst through the door with a deerstalker on his head that he seemed to have found in the garbage.

“That was…” I began but he cut me off.

He paced the apartment in a dramatically philosophical manner. “That was the Commissioner; the priceless Goatee Ruby has been stolen from the Museum of Natural History.”

“That was your mother; she wants to know if you’re coming over for dinner tonight.”

“I can’t, I’ll be too busy finding the priceless Goatee Ruby.”

The phone rang again, Sprocket turned sharply to answer it but a banana skin fell out of his deerstalker and he slid out the window.

It was the Commissioner, asking us to investigate the theft of the priceless Goatee Ruby. I looked out of the window and saw that Sprocket was in the passenger seat of my car. So I grabbed my keys and went downstairs.

I started the car, Sprocket still seemed dazed from his fall. So I let him recover before asking the question I deeply want to ask. First of all, I had to get that disgusting hat off his head.

I flung it out onto the street, this seemed to annoy him. “Why?” He asked.

“It’s probably infected with something really nasty and I don’t want it in my car. So, how did you know the Commissioner wanted us to investigate at the Museum?”

“It’s telemetry, my dear frogspawn. After you kicked me out the window, I flew just far enough to see the museum and more importantly I saw the gathered police. I knew from the Arts Review that the Goatee Ruby was being housed there. Lastly, why we should be called in? Simple, I have an heroic habit of falling out of windows on top of master criminals. I’ve already nailed three this morning.”

“Three?”

“I got up for a midnight snack and…”
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on February 28, 2011, 02:12:46 PM
Genius.

We are, my dear Sprocket, masterminds at crime solving.

That deerstalker was unsavoury mind, so don't be doing that again, I'll get you a red top hat instead. We must keep up our image.

We need to stop for raspberry laces on the way, and you might want to take the wheel, Jagger said I'm not allowed to drive without a licence any more. He's a mad man.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on February 28, 2011, 02:23:26 PM
Can do, I like Raspberry laces.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on February 28, 2011, 02:25:19 PM
As do I, to eat and to tie up my red Chelsea boots.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on February 28, 2011, 02:32:21 PM
I wonder how long it'll be until I break the fourth wall in this story. I'm doing it much more often nowadays.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on February 28, 2011, 02:39:56 PM
I predict 36 minutes, to the second.

Now we have the Raspberry laces and aren't breaking too many laws, we should probably call the Commissioner back, tell him we're on our way. We might need to stop off at the bar for a drink first though. I'm terrible at solving things sober.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on February 28, 2011, 03:43:40 PM
I've seen that top hat.  It's a lovely red but the price sticker saying 7s 6d is a bit dodgy.  Does Ollie really want to roam the mean streets with a price on his head?  An open invitation to every cut-throat and unprincipled  ne'er-do-well from Clacton to Port Said, and probably even a few from Chipping Sodbury as well.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on February 28, 2011, 03:52:54 PM
Ollie never roams, he falls and flies from windows. You always need a price on your head when flying's involved.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on February 28, 2011, 04:01:24 PM
"Fair enough."
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on February 28, 2011, 04:06:23 PM
Since Gyp's here, he can entertain you while I sneak away to work on Part 2.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on February 28, 2011, 04:07:21 PM
That wasn't very sneaky Sprocket. I see now why you have to fall on your criminals.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on February 28, 2011, 04:08:04 PM
So I'm just the stand in, the understudy, is that it?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on February 28, 2011, 04:10:12 PM
No, you're my other boss. I trample rubbish for you when I'm not solving crime. I'm setting up a round in the bar, let's go and discuss the raven revolution. It's becoming quite the sensation.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on February 28, 2011, 05:10:16 PM
         The Citing Case – Part 2

I pulled into the parking lot.

Sprocket seemed to have a complaint. “This isn’t the museum. It appears to be a bar.”

“I need a drink,” I replied. He sat petulantly while I was getting out of the car. “Come on,” I said, but he wouldn’t budge, “I’m terrible at solving things sober.”

He laughed his annoying little cackle, “I’m going to be doing most of the solving.”

“Hey, we’re partners. You needed my help when we fought The Stoned Monkey.”

He got out, which was good for him because I was on the verge of dragging him into the bar by his hair, he gave one final complaint. “I would’ve handled it if you hadn’t burst in with that hairdryer.”

So we sat in the bar and drank martinis, I forget the actual number but there were some of them. Soon, we both felt ready to solve some crime.

“Where do you think you’re going?” The bartender asked.

“To the museum,” said Sprocket.

The bartender glared at him, “You ain’t driving.”

“Of course not, my dear fellow, she is.”

This did not please the bartender so we managed to convince a nearby child to drive us there instead. He did it with more style and panache and fewer accidents than either of us normally managed.

So, we were at the museum and there was a policeman there who refused to allow us access because he was probably jealous of Sprocket’s powers of deduction.

“Listen, the museum is closed today because of a robbery. We can’t allow tourists in.”

“We’re Sprocket and Frogg,” I protested.

“I’m Sprocket,” he protested.

“Is that Sprocket,” said the commissioner, “Where have you been?”

“It’s her fault,” he replied, and I could’ve just killed him right there.

The Commissioner led us into the museum towards the scene of the crime. It was a room, completely sealed off, somewhere in the middle of the museum. There were no windows, just the door we entered through. It housed just the one exhibit, the priceless Goatee Ruby. There were no vents, no openings of any kind except for the door. The doorway, as we were informed, was secured by steel plates that came out of the walls and locked into place.

“So, how did they do it?” The Commissioner asked.

“Let me think about that for a while,” Sprocket replied, he sat down on the floor and stared at the room.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on February 28, 2011, 05:19:49 PM
Brilliant.

I've already designed the props for this one, I think we should do the Stoned Monkey re-enactment in our World Tour, I've made a brilliant hairdryer.

I like me in this, although we all know that behind the scenes, it's Frogg doing most of the sweet buying work.

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on February 28, 2011, 05:23:22 PM
Of course, after all she writes the reports.  ;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on February 28, 2011, 05:26:49 PM
Now you're getting it. Yep, Sprocket just lazes around with banana skins. It's a travesty.

Sprocket and Frogg, the next Mighty Boosh, just with more child labour and law breaking and a brilliant mind at the helm.





Mine, of course.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on February 28, 2011, 05:36:51 PM
"The mind behind Sprocket, he just jumps in bins."

That's a way better tagline than the unique, fey, changling line.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on February 28, 2011, 05:37:54 PM
I shall make the required changes Oh Mightyful Sprocket.

It is too, I like.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on February 28, 2011, 06:26:43 PM
Sprocket has deduced something very important.  ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on February 28, 2011, 06:28:18 PM
Oh really, and what might that be? The location of the nearest wheelie bin?

Frogg has paint on her fingers.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Silt on February 28, 2011, 06:29:05 PM
I'm almost afraid to come in here now :)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on February 28, 2011, 06:32:54 PM
I will share the insights of Sprocket when I post the next part of this fascinating tale.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on February 28, 2011, 06:34:59 PM
I don't believe you - you mislead people. :)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on February 28, 2011, 06:36:13 PM
I don't believe you - you mislead people. :)

Name one time when I've done that.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on February 28, 2011, 06:46:10 PM
Did you teach 'whimsy'?

"Yeah, but I'm tired and don't have time to teach you. Maybe later. "

I feel your 'maybe' is misleading.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on February 28, 2011, 06:51:29 PM
I did teach it in the end. It's on the second pages of the teaching whimsy thread.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on February 28, 2011, 07:01:24 PM
Aha! - In the end . . . indeed but it was somewhat misleading, how long is a while, how much time passes by before 'later' comes around?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 01, 2011, 07:36:38 AM
... how long is a while, how much time passes by before 'later' comes around?

You may as well ask 'How long is Sprockett's banana skin, and how frequently does it appear as a plotting aid'.

Wherever Don would say 'Bring in a man with a gun', Sprockett and Frogg introduce a banana skin to foreshadow the next dive into a conveniently placed bin.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 01, 2011, 08:16:07 AM
So far, it hasn't appeared for a second time... but we all live in hope.

Besides, I use a lot of vague terminology. I don't really promise anything.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Silt on March 01, 2011, 08:30:56 AM
so political, Ollie :P
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 01, 2011, 08:31:34 AM
Gotta move with the times.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Silt on March 01, 2011, 08:33:02 AM
don't go too fast or you'll end up my age :)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 01, 2011, 08:33:52 AM
I don't think I have a choice... well, not a good choice anyway.

I should really be writing.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 01, 2011, 09:44:08 AM
         The Citing Case – Part 3

“Of course,” said Sprocket.

The Commissioner strode over to him, I followed. There was no way I’d miss whatever insight Sprocket had concluded this time.

“Well,” said The Commissioner. I mirrored the sentiment.

“The man who designed the security for the Goatee Ruby was a very unimaginative man,” he replied.

“That doesn’t really help us at all,” I said.

Sprocket stood up, stretched a little, and began to look at paintings. His intense scrutiny of something that had no bearing on the case whatsoever was the singularly most annoying thing he’d ever done except for his solution to beating The Stoned Monkey. I still have nightmares about that.

“Hello,” I said.

“Hello,” he replied, if there’s one predictable thing he ever does it’s replying to a greeting.

“What possible use can we get from the information that the man who designed the security here has little imagination?”

He wandered over to the door and pointed at it. “I was thinking that there were two possibilities. Either, it was an inside job or someone managed to crack this nearly impossible security. This made me sad, I was thinking too much like everyone else. I’m called in for one of two reasons; I think like everyone else but better or I think differently from everyone else. I’m not better than everyone else, so it must be the latter. So I turned my thoughts in a different direction. The key to this whole thing is that the man who designed the security for this exhibit has very little imagination.”

Something seemed to have occurred to The Commissioner, “We were thinking that it was probably an inside job because of the strength of the security.”

“It wasn’t an inside job,” stated Sprocket.

The Commissioner gaped at him, but he just walked out of the room and we all thought he was leaving the building. The Commissioner snapped an order into his walkie-talkie.

Soon, the impolite officer who had barred our way was dragging Sprocket back into the room. I felt jealous; dragging him places against his will is my responsibility.

“Explain yourself, it wasn’t an inside job because…” The Commissioner began for him.

“Look around, the Goatee Ruby is valuable but it’s far from priceless. A good fence will get you a million or two, which pales in comparison with about five million in artwork. I have to go get some tools, close the security doors and when I get back I’ll show you how it was opened.”
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 01, 2011, 09:50:28 AM
"Ha, the thot plickens."
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 01, 2011, 09:55:09 AM
the photon titles?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 01, 2011, 10:10:54 AM
Or does the Titan photle?  Your Kraken may have the inside scoop on mythology questions.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 01, 2011, 10:13:39 AM
Aren't we ignoring the really important thing?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 01, 2011, 10:18:26 AM

“Of course,” said Sprocket.

The Commissioner strode over to him, I followed. There was no way I’d miss whatever insight Sprocket had concluded this time.


I'd actually just seen some Liquorice wheels in the Commissioners pocket, but whatever works best for your ego plot... ;)

Today I wrote an advertisement for Sprocket and Frogg on my local beach. 3 foot tall letters and a shell border. I think we'll definitely be seeing an increase in demand for our services.

Yes, I'm quite proud of myself.

Aren't we ignoring the really important thing?

The lack of hot chocolate or another important thing?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 01, 2011, 10:28:05 AM
I'd actually just seen some Liquorice wheels in the Commissioners pocket, but whatever works best for your ego plot... ;)

Today I wrote an advertisement for Sprocket and Frogg on my local beach. 3 foot tall letters and a shell border. I think we'll definitely be seeing an increase in demand for our services.

Yes, I'm quite proud of myself.

The lack of hot chocolate or another important thing?


1) I know, but the plot demanded your curiousity.
2) Did you take a picture?
3) That's what I meant.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 01, 2011, 10:30:23 AM
I didn't have a picture taking device on me, I may recreate it tomorrow if it's sunny and take a picture so you can marvel at my talent and at how important I am in Sprocket and Frogg.

I knew it, although I could actually do with some lemonade.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 01, 2011, 10:36:17 AM
Aren't we ignoring the really important thing?

Aren't we, as writers, generally very good at that ;-)

I'd actually just seen some Liquorice wheels in the Commissioners pocket, but whatever works best for your ego plot... ;)

Liquorice wheels?  Now there's something really important.

Today I wrote an advertisement for Sprocket and Frogg on my local beach. 3 foot tall letters and a shell border. I think we'll definitely be seeing an increase in demand for our services.

Written in the sands of time.  Your immortality is now assured, from this hour onwards to the very end of time.  Until the stars wink out and man's brief reign is ended.  Just in case.  And will there be any liquorice wheels left when all else has become a black hole?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 01, 2011, 10:37:26 AM
And will there be any liquorice wheels left when all else has become a black hole?

Now that is the all important question.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 01, 2011, 10:38:48 AM
Well, isn't that what black holes are made of?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 01, 2011, 10:40:11 AM
That's what the frogs always taught me when I was growing up.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 01, 2011, 10:44:15 AM
Perhaps the spiralling black vortices of the black hole hold a clue.  Perhaps the frogs were correct.  Perhaps black holes are in truth just giant liquorice wheels, containing a taste experience so strong, so overwhelmingly powerful, that entire planets gladly sacrifice themselves for that brief moment of gastronomic orgasmic delight.

Or are the dark forces of illusion at work.  Perhaps the bush gods of Australia, well known for their off-beat humour,  have finger-swirled a giant jar of age darkened Vegemite to create a trap.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 01, 2011, 10:51:21 AM
That would be simply too cruel. If t'were the case I would weep into my top hat.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 01, 2011, 10:54:10 AM
Think positive... how's the poster coming?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 01, 2011, 10:57:31 AM
Slowly, it's being stubborn about it's appearance. Temperamental thing.

On my way back from the beach I managed to stub my toe, which shocked me into promptly falling over. I didn't even fall onto a criminal, it was shameful.

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 01, 2011, 10:58:46 AM
Maybe next time, falling on criminals is an artform that takes a lot of practice.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 01, 2011, 11:00:07 AM
I don't think I'll ever get it right. I tend not to fall from high places, just on flat surfaces. It's hard to fall on top of a criminal when you're short.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 01, 2011, 11:10:54 AM
Baby falls, Frogg, baby falls. You'll work your way up to the bigger ones.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 01, 2011, 11:14:19 AM
Well I'll work on that while you work on breaking into security safes. I'm about to cook dinner, fancy some Raspberry bootlace bolognese and curly wurlies?

If you want real food you'll have to fire me and hire a chef.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 01, 2011, 11:16:21 AM
Sounds positively deliciousness.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 01, 2011, 11:19:34 AM
On my way back from the beach I managed to stub my toe, which shocked me into promptly falling over. I didn't even fall onto a criminal, it was shameful.

A Fallen Woman no less ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 01, 2011, 11:25:24 AM
We have fizzy sherbet too. I have to go and cook it though, Fallen Woman that I am.

Back later with sweet related goodness.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 01, 2011, 11:26:14 AM
I'll be back later to eat it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Silt on March 01, 2011, 11:47:25 AM
ha, you two are like a pair
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 01, 2011, 11:58:04 AM
a pair of what?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 01, 2011, 01:21:50 PM
liquorice bootlaces
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Silt on March 01, 2011, 01:31:49 PM
yum
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 01, 2011, 02:13:19 PM
ha, you two are like a pair

Here comes Queen Elizabeth dragging her lavatory to beat them.  Her Majesty whacking them repeatedly with a hunk of porcelain attached to a pipe ripped from the palace walls...

It's a bizarre image, granted.  But she has to do it.  It's a Narrative Imperative, like Chekov's gun.

A Royal Flush always beats A Pair.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Silt on March 01, 2011, 02:15:59 PM
its hard to find a good plunger anymore. I remember the old ones lasting forever, you could stick them to a man's face(i'm unsure why a person would want to be any side of an arguement that went to those limits) but you could with the old ones. The new ones though, with their futuristic shape, don't suck at all :(

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 01, 2011, 02:46:50 PM
That's because all the good plungers have been stolen/bought/obtained by Dr Who fans who use them to make traditional Daleks.

Or maybe MicroSoft make them now...  Bill was challenged to make a product which doesn't suck.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Silt on March 01, 2011, 03:35:02 PM
ha. good luck to him
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 01, 2011, 06:14:48 PM
Sprocket out looking for midnight snacks again? Ah well, Raspberry bootlace bolognese is in the fridge, extra curly wurlies and flying saucers are in the biscuit tin. You can lock up tonight, all this crime fightin' is taking it's toll.

G'night.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 01, 2011, 06:41:18 PM
Flying saucers as well.  What a seductress this little Welsh Witch is.  Tempations almost beyond endurance.

"Sleep well, Diminutive One."

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 02, 2011, 02:43:21 PM
Yum. Well, that's all the brain food I need for now.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 03, 2011, 05:26:25 PM
You shouldn't eat brains. They're bad for you.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Silt on March 03, 2011, 05:37:36 PM
only politician brains, BW, they give you gas.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 03, 2011, 05:42:33 PM
and leads to spouting guff ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 03, 2011, 07:59:59 PM
Sprocket's gone off into the night without telling me how to work the kettle in the office.

Damned thing.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 03, 2011, 08:03:37 PM
Sprocket expects Frogg to know what to do. Brains remember :D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 03, 2011, 08:04:59 PM
Mine's too tired to function. Switches are very difficult to operate.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 03, 2011, 08:06:54 PM
Mind power -mind power - will the sod to switch on.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 03, 2011, 08:12:03 PM
I give up, I'll have to have water.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 03, 2011, 08:12:47 PM
A passing rogue, by the street-name of Will the Sod, hears the maiden's plaintive cry and reaches in through a portal in cyber-space to turn the kettle on before wending his merry way.  Half a mile or half a universe away - it makes no difference in this crazy world - it belatedly occurs to him he didn't check to see if there was any water in the kettle.

"Sod it" he says, living up to his name.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 03, 2011, 08:15:46 PM
Now that is a true act of gallantry. I'll be able to have my tea before bed. Sod is such a gentleman.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 03, 2011, 08:21:36 PM
Not only that, he's often the law.  Especially in a writer's world.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 03, 2011, 08:22:37 PM
Bloody hell, a powerful character this Sod. I'm honoured he dropped by.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Silt on March 04, 2011, 04:22:04 PM
I had so much free time, that I bumped this thread.

Frogg shoud have Frogg under the pic of Frogg, like Sprocket does :)

apparently I crave balance :(

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 05, 2011, 08:25:52 AM
apparently I crave balance :(

Here's a scaffold pole between two high rise blocks.  Balance is your friend.  Gravity is the enemy.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 05, 2011, 08:27:15 AM
Indecision could have grave consequeences consequences! >:(
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 05, 2011, 04:30:41 PM
I had so much free time, that I bumped this thread.

Frogg shoud have Frogg under the pic of Frogg, like Sprocket does :)

apparently I crave balance :(



How unimaginative of you...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Silt on March 05, 2011, 05:02:27 PM
enough to catch your eye
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 05, 2011, 05:05:45 PM
I'm Sprocket, it's my job to watch out for this sort of thing.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 05, 2011, 06:43:12 PM
Frogg found the wine. You didn't hide it very well.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 05, 2011, 06:51:33 PM
Have you been playing with that wine-divining rod again?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 05, 2011, 06:55:23 PM
Indeedio, I'm quite enjoying it, it's nice and peachy.

Where did Sprocket go? I can't possibly solve this ruby case if he doesn't solve it for me.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 05, 2011, 06:59:57 PM
I could say he's ', hopped it' but that would be too easy.  Perhaps he's gone down a rabbit hole and lost his way.  Perhaps, even as we blissfully write nonsense without a care in the world, he is engaged in a titanic sword fight miles underground, by the light of a guttering candle, with a rabid ferret.

Or he could just be in his own kitchen finding something to eat.

Who knows the secret of the lop-eared little toe-rag?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 05, 2011, 07:00:20 PM
I am dragging my sorry arse around a word document to provide entertainment for you. That's where Sprocket is.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 05, 2011, 07:02:21 PM
I am dragging my sorry arse around...

In a dog that's a sign of worms ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 05, 2011, 07:02:35 PM
Who knows the secret of the lop-eared little toe-rag?

I do, but I promised not to tell.

Hurry up Sprocket, I'm in need of some entertainment to go with my wine.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 05, 2011, 07:19:39 PM
         The Citing Case – Part 4

While we waited for Sprocket to return, The Commissioner took a packet of Liquorice Wheels out of his pocket and began to eat them. I favoured him with a short glance that said a lot.

He offered me the packet, “Would you like one?”

I took the lot. “Y’know,” I said, “When there’s a problem no rational person can solve, some weirdo comes along and makes it look bleeding obvious. Einstein said that. So why don’t we just think of the most bleeding obvious way into that room. It’ll be something to surprise Sprocket.”

“You’re beginning to talk like him,” The Commissioner replied.

“Horseshit,” I said, and set about figuring out the complex riddle of the impenetrable doorway. I couldn’t think of anything.

Soon, I realised that Sprocket hadn’t returned yet.

The Commissioner seemed to have had the same thought. “Where’s Sprocket with that damned solution?”

I went to inspect the doorway as a means of avoiding the question and saw something. “What are these marks on the floor?”

There, right where the steel thing came down, were two round marks on the floor. The Commissioner stood next to me and looked.

“I was wondering when you’d figure that out,” said Sprocket.

I turned and saw that he was entering the main room. This caused me to curse violently under my breath because I was sure that I was about to figure the whole thing out.

He sat down, and proceeded to do nothing.

“What are you doing?” The Commissioner asked.

“Nothing,” Sprocket replied.

He continued to do nothing.

“Why?”

“Because,” he said, “Frogg is about to figure out how to open this door.”

“We don’t have time for this,” said The Commissioner, “Just show us how it’s done.”

“No,” said Sprocket.

The Commissioner became violently angry at that comment. “We’ve waited here for you to show us, and you’re not going to. Come on boys, this bloody weirdo has wasted our time.”

“Not until Frogg shows you how it was done.”

It angered him even more, but curiosity got the better of The Commissioner. The gathered police stayed where they were. This put baskets of pressure on me to get this right.

“You can do this,” said Sprocket, “You’re almost there.”
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 05, 2011, 07:28:59 PM
Sprocket, how could you?

You know I only pretend to be able to solve things, I'm far too inebriated to do this. I could do with a cup of tea actually.

Omnomnom, this liquorice wheel is nice. I feel I should admit that the round marks were from earlier, when I forgot to use a coaster.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 05, 2011, 07:40:23 PM
Have faith. All will be revealed, hopefully.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 05, 2011, 07:41:29 PM
I hope so, it shall all resolve.

We're all just matter that will one day scatter.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 05, 2011, 07:58:39 PM
Christ, this dang case is still on it's first day. It's too early for you to fail.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 05, 2011, 08:00:06 PM
Fail? Me? Don't be absurd.

I know exactly what happened here, I just think it would be over too quickly if I suavely sauntered in and announced I knew exactly what was going on.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 05, 2011, 08:03:12 PM
But you do know exactly what's going on...  You're waiting for Sprockett/Ollie to write the next part.  that's what you're doing ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 05, 2011, 08:04:01 PM
Fail? Me? Don't be absurd.

I know exactly what happened here, I just think it would be over too quickly if I suavely sauntered in and announced I knew exactly what was going on.

Oh, that's brilliant fiction - Frogg gets to saunter suavely, a wonderful fantasy . . . so different from BW's real life. :D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 05, 2011, 08:05:55 PM
Hush. I like his scribblings, his devil scratchings.

If I wrote it, it would only contain brandy and Raspberry bootlaces. He artfully manages to combine case solving with the two.

Oh, that's brilliant fiction - Frogg gets to saunter suavely, a wonderful fantasy . . . so different from BW's real life. :D

 :D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 05, 2011, 08:55:14 PM
So now I'm scratching devils... and holding up the vital investigation by writing too slowly.

I'm so chastened.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 05, 2011, 08:58:19 PM
The devil scratchings make life worth reading. Chastened is a nice word.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 05, 2011, 08:59:16 PM
The devil scratchings make life worth reading. Chastened is a nice word.

Great, that means you won't mind if I chasten you. How's the poster coming along?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 05, 2011, 09:00:55 PM
Poster? I'm not even in my house. I'm sneakily tying while my friend is passed out on the floor.

I promise I'll get it done, it's a bleedin' masterpiece you know.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 05, 2011, 09:05:32 PM
I know but the fact that I know won't assure everyone else. You read part 4, The Commish didn't exactly seem thrilled that I knew.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 05, 2011, 09:06:28 PM
He's an insufferable fool though. He can't cope with our combined genius.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 05, 2011, 09:08:44 PM
It's too magnificent for most people to see properly. "Surely, that can't be them. There's too much of it. That's the entire genius of the population of Scotland, isn't it?"
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 05, 2011, 09:09:40 PM
Exactly my point my dear man. Shall we drink nebula's and enjoy the world?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 05, 2011, 09:12:50 PM
Too many nebulas and it will be a clear case of "Alimentary, My dear Colon."
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 05, 2011, 09:15:08 PM
Too many nebulas and it will be a clear case of "Alimentary, My dear Colon."

What? I'm rather fond of punctuation.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 05, 2011, 09:18:27 PM
The chewy pieces or the slippery ones?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 05, 2011, 09:18:57 PM
I can't remember what we're talking about.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 05, 2011, 09:19:46 PM
I can't remember what we're talking about.

Nebulas.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 05, 2011, 09:20:04 PM
Does it matter at this time of the night?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 05, 2011, 09:21:08 PM
I don't know anymore, I'm simply in love with you all. This evening is wonderful.

Drinks all round. Wait, this isn't the bar. Hang on, I'll stumble over.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 05, 2011, 10:29:46 PM
Careful how you hop! ;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 06, 2011, 02:19:43 PM
Well, it's another day at "Too Much Free Time HQ" What'll the gang come up with this time?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 06, 2011, 03:23:27 PM
We're waiting for you solve the mystery.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 06, 2011, 03:57:36 PM
Jeez, I have to do everything. Sprocket solve the mystery, catch them dastardly fools, order the chinese food, do all the important falling over, write the casefiles, entertain the huddled masses, save the world with this bit of string. You'd all starve without me.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 06, 2011, 04:13:15 PM
Life's like that sometimes.  Just like a Salmon.  You swim a few thousand miles across an ocean, dodging nets and rapacious waterfowl, swim upstream against a vicious current, even if someone's built a damned hydro-electric scheme since you hatched in the river many years ago, leap up waterfalls, reach calmer waters, fertilise a few million eggs without ever once actually getting to grips with one of those sleek and lovely lady salmon, and then you die.

=====

I did my bit of nonsense for the day over on another thread.  Raw unedited stuff, written before breakfast in response to something Joe said.

http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=34896.msg562484#msg562484
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 06, 2011, 05:29:20 PM
Jeez, I have to do everything. Sprocket solve the mystery, catch them dastardly fools, order the chinese food, do all the important falling over, write the casefiles, entertain the huddled masses, save the world with this bit of string. You'd all starve without me.

I beg your pardon? I think you'll find I do quite a lot of important falling over. This often entertains the huddled masses too, although why they're always huddled I've yet to discover.

Anyway. Where is the Chinese food?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 06, 2011, 05:39:02 PM
I beg your pardon? I think you'll find I do quite a lot of important falling over. This often entertains the huddled masses too, although why they're always huddled I've yet to discover.


It's a fetish thing.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 06, 2011, 05:41:53 PM
Ah, I see. Finally an explanation.

You're avoiding the more important question though.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 06, 2011, 05:56:38 PM
You're avoiding the more important question though.

That may be so. Whatcha gonna do about it?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 06, 2011, 05:57:37 PM
Make you drink hot chocolate of course, what else?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 06, 2011, 06:01:31 PM
Ooooh, I'm so scared.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 06, 2011, 06:04:16 PM
How foolish of you, this isn't scary hot chocolate at all. It's delicious, I pwomise.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 06, 2011, 06:06:11 PM
How foolish of you, this isn't scary hot chocolate at all. It's delicious, I pwomise.

Remember what I've told you about putting on a speech impediment.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 06, 2011, 06:06:52 PM
Remember what I've told you about putting on a speech impediment.

It's simply adorable?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 06, 2011, 06:08:38 PM
Yes, but the other thing.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 06, 2011, 06:10:33 PM
Wabbit.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 06, 2011, 06:15:16 PM
Do you want me to rush the story? I can do it if it suits your needs.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 06, 2011, 06:16:26 PM
Not at all, I'm quite enjoying being mischievous.

More hot chocolate, my liege?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 06, 2011, 06:32:30 PM
Certainly, my luge.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 06, 2011, 06:34:21 PM
Da dum dee da.

There you go, it's quite hot mind.

Dee dee dum dee da dee dum.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 06, 2011, 06:35:26 PM
What have you drugged this with?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 06, 2011, 06:36:30 PM
Certainly, my luge.

Do you know what they say about redheads and luges?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 06, 2011, 06:37:09 PM
No ???
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 06, 2011, 06:38:58 PM
What have you drugged this with?

Well, the Stoned Monkeys weren't using it any more...

Do you know what they say about redheads and luges?

Dare I ask?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 06, 2011, 06:48:48 PM
Dare I ask?

I will take the liberty of quoting a small section from my 2009 Nano, in which all is revealed.

'Sam' is Samantha, the fiery little redhead who repair and and rides motorcycles.  This scene comes a few days after a bad misunderstanding, and Sam has hunted down her man to put things right.

=====

        Evan looked into her eyes, bright and alert now, without the cloudy manic look.

        "Some crazy woman burst in a few hours ago, stripped off, and attacked me like a rampant Valkyrie."

        Her head shook against him and the sheet almost slipped free as her bosom wobbled with meriment.

        "Was I really that fierce?"

        "Worse.  Just like every man's fantasy about redheaded women.  A bit scary."

        "Sorry about that.  But the way I remember it you held up pretty well."

        "Sure,  I didn't dare do anything less.  I just lay there and remembered what a wise old friend once told me about redheads."

        "You thought about a friend..."  Sam scowled, but her eyes were laughing.  "What did this wise friend tell you."

        "He said sex with a redhead was like riding a luge."

        "A luge?"

        "Yes.  Evan gave her a sudden sharp hug.  "Lie flat, hold tight, and try not to die."

        Mouth wide open Sam looked at him blankly for a second then burst out laughing, her aching thighs reminding her exactly how she'd ridden him to a mutually shattering standstill.

        "Maybe that's not so far from the truth."  She kissed him with wonder in her eyes, and a healthy dose of self satisfaction.  "But not every time."  She hugged him with sharp fierce joy.

        "But you're procrastinating.  Telling me stuff I already know.  Where were you the last couple of days?  After I accused you of seducing me to nick my bike."

=====
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 06, 2011, 06:50:45 PM
I have a feeling Sam and I would get on wonderfully... ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 06, 2011, 06:51:39 PM
Makes perfect sense now. I do love watching the luge event when the winter Olympics are on - it takes some bottle!
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 06, 2011, 06:55:16 PM
Well, I feel the need to let a respectful number of post go by before I post Part 5.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 06, 2011, 06:56:57 PM
Respectable? In this place?

That's never going to happen, and I'm still hungry for Chinese.

Pwease?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 06, 2011, 06:57:49 PM
There's anther quote about luges I found just today.

"Luge is the only sport where you can die during the event and still win."
-- Anonymous
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 06, 2011, 06:58:29 PM
         The Citing Case – Part 5

I had no idea how to solve this problem; the liquorice wheels were all gone. Also, I couldn’t go buy any more until I figured out the thing with the door. The entire case hinged on those marks on the floor and the designer’s lack of imagination.

That bit struck me as important, Sprocket always goes on and on about imagination. There’s has to be something about it in the solution, or he wouldn’t have found it.

However, imagination or the lack thereof is a big damn field to search for one tiny bit of string, eventually I tired of this train of thought and looked again at the marks on the floor. I got on my hands and knees to look real close, the way Sprocket does when he really wants to inspect something.

Then he kicked me up the arse. “Revenge is mine,” he shouted.

I got up and glared at him.

He smiled at me. “You always do that when I inspect something. You’re at the right place, get back down there.”

“You’ll just kick me again.” I knew that that wasn’t true, but I liked saying it. It made me sound like I suffered a lot at his hands and knew what to expect.

We stood and looked coolly at each other for a while; he had that smug grin on his face that comes when he knows I’m close to figuring out something he’s already deduced.

I got back on the floor and really looked. Then a thought came to me. I lifted my head, and it hit me. I saw his grin widen. He knew that I knew.

“It smells of smoke.”

The Commissioner was talking to some other police officers when I said that so he didn’t hear me. “What was that?”

“It smells of smoke.”

Something clicked in his mind, he got it. “The fire alarm, but why…”

“Your thief rerouted the alarm so it wouldn’t do any of the stuff he didn’t want, like call for help,” Sprocket interjected.

We had figured out the mystery of the impossible door, so it was time to go and start the second phase of the investigation.

“We’ll pick up the threads tomorrow, let’s go get some Chinese food.”
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 06, 2011, 07:01:11 PM
That's never going to happen, and I'm still hungry for Chinese.

Not sure this will really help, but...

Left click for a possibly more filling version.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 06, 2011, 07:03:05 PM
;D

My evening is now complete. You didn't have to kick me quite so enthusiastically though, it made me look less coolly brilliant.

Not sure this will really help, but...

Left click for a possibly more filling version.

It was very informative, but it doesn't quite have the same effect as these spring rolls.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 06, 2011, 07:04:37 PM
;D

My evening is now complete. You didn't have to kick me quite so enthusiastically though, it made me look less coolly brilliant.



You and I both know that I did.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 06, 2011, 07:07:47 PM
Le sigh. I suppose so.

I can't think of anything suitably mischievous to get up to. I'm quite tired you see, so I cant launch you out of a window.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 06, 2011, 07:12:22 PM
I can't promise it will work, but you may find, if you coax Sprocket onto the black tile near the door, and then kick the skirting board just to the right he'll be launched through the window by a rocket powered ejector mechanism.  All carefully calculated to make sure he lands in suitable bin at the end of his parabola.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 06, 2011, 07:14:17 PM
But Gyppo - aren't the bins put out on a Sunday night for Monday's collection?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 06, 2011, 07:16:19 PM
I think all I'm good for by now is curling up in the office and falling asleep. No doubt I'll set up some form of trickery before I drift off though.

G'night folks, I'm going to bed smiling.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 06, 2011, 07:18:28 PM
What's wrong with the hammock in the bar these days? And - why are you smiling . . . what have you got planned?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 06, 2011, 07:20:52 PM
You managed to summon me into the bar with the offer of drinks, I'll end up in the hammock after some chandelier swinging.

I'm smiling 'cause I'm a cheery frog tonight. How could I not be with such company?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 06, 2011, 07:23:45 PM
But Gyppo - aren't the bins put out on a Sunday night for Monday's collection?

Maybe the laws of storyland will keep him suspended until the bins are emptied and returned.  I'm sure it will work out okay, one way or another.

I'm a bit worried about that chandelier though.  Looks a bit wobbly to me.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 06, 2011, 11:18:20 PM
You just let me worry about that.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 07, 2011, 04:17:14 AM
Are you still worrying?  I'm not.  I accepted your generous offer and heaped all my worries on your shoulders.  I feel much better for it ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 08, 2011, 07:17:50 PM
I really am worried, I'm trying to write about it and I just can't get the wee lass up there.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 08, 2011, 07:23:56 PM
If you can't take a laugh you shouldn't have joined ;-)

Hint:  Most serious chandeliers can be lowered on a chain and ratchet arrangment to facilitate changing of the many bulbs, or the lighting of candles if they're really old fashioned.   You (well, Sprockett) could inadvertently wind the poor lass up towards the ceiling again whilst pondering a case.  But I'm backing you to come up with something more imaginative or twisted than that ;-).

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 08, 2011, 07:30:15 PM
I think I may have thought of something, but it's too easy to get her down. Getting Frogg down from a Chandelier deserves to be exploited for all the laughs I can get out of it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 08, 2011, 08:41:12 PM
         The Citing Case – Part 6

We went to The Sleepy Dragon Chinese Takeaway on Fischer Street. They weren’t open yet. We sat outside until they became The Waking Dragon and got something to eat. I had Spring Rolls and Vegetable Chow Mein. The filthy meat-eater had Duck Chow Mein and Onion Rings. We took the food back to the office because it was the noirist place to eat Chinese Food.

“So, got any leads on the scumbag who did this?” I asked, through a mouthful of delicious noodles.

“Mrugh,” he replied, then he swallowed and explained what he’d meant, “I already know who did it. I just don’t know why and I’ve got no proof.”

I put down my dinner and gave him the look, the only kind that works on someone as mentally damaged as him. It didn’t work so I resorted to the only tactic that would. “Hello.”

“Hello,” he replied.

“So, who did it?”

“Tomorrow, I promise.”

I started to eat quickly, so that I could get out of there before his frustrating lack of communication drove me insane.

“You should slow down,” he said, “You’ll get indigestion.”

I stood up, but realised that I hadn’t finished eating. So I sat back down with vigour, the chair gave a creak and leant slightly to the left. I knew what it had decided to do.

It broke in half just as I got to my feet. The resounding crash as it hit the floor made me jump and somehow I ended up on the table.

However, that too began to groan.

I had nowhere to go but up, which was a shame because the only thing up there was our crappy chandelier.

I was holding on for dear life. Sprocket looked like he was finally going to help.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get you down.”

He tried, he really did, but one of my flailing legs caught him in the face and he stumbled out the window.

The chandelier swung lazily, casting demented shadows from our humble office mess. A bolt pinged out of the ceiling, ricocheted off the floor and disappeared into some unknown corner. The main body of the chandelier jolted.

Now slightly looser, the chandelier swung faster and I had no choice but to swing along with it. Panic sweat seeped through my fingers, and I began to lose my grip.

Sprocket burst back into the room, which I thought could only make the situation worse.

I looked down on and was dizzied by the height, that’s when I lost my grip and began to fall. I didn’t hit the floor; something far squishier had gotten between us. It still damn well hurt though. I got up shakily and looked at what had saved my life.

It was Sprocket, lying unmoving and unconscious.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 08, 2011, 09:02:26 PM
Oh no! What will happen next? :o
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 08, 2011, 09:54:35 PM
Nailbiting stuff, which could end up becoming finger-biting as I already have short nails.  One of the legacies from being a baker all those years.

What will the rascally little mop-head come up with next?

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 09, 2011, 11:23:42 AM
Ooops. I didn't mean to break Sprocket.

Hang on...

I think I may have thought of something, but it's too easy to get her down. Getting Frogg down from a Chandelier deserves to be exploited for all the laughs I can get out of it.

Nope, he deserved it... ::)

I do hope he gets fixed though, I suppose I should at least drag him to the sofa and attempt to check for broken bones or whatever it is people do. Or are you not supposed to move them?

Maybe I should just finish my Chinese first.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 09, 2011, 12:13:06 PM
Maybe I should just finish my Chinese first.

There's a girl with her priorities straight. How dare I get hurt when we haven't even had the fortune cookies yet?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 09, 2011, 12:21:43 PM
My thoughts exactly. Perhaps the fortune cookie will give me some advice on how to fix you.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 09, 2011, 12:22:55 PM
Actually, I was thinking about them last night. I think I know what they say... I am a super detective after all.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 09, 2011, 12:24:07 PM
Of course, but that does take the surprise away a little, doesn't it? I've never had a fortune cookie before, I'm quite cited.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 09, 2011, 12:26:12 PM
Fine, I won't tell you what it says.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 09, 2011, 12:26:41 PM
Damn. Now I want to know.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 09, 2011, 12:27:33 PM
I know you, if I tell you you'll wish you'd waited until you could open it yourself.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 09, 2011, 12:41:20 PM
Damn it. I'm now going to mutter under my breath:

"Why is he always right? Stupid genius detective."
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 09, 2011, 06:56:50 PM
He isn't always right - that's why the relationship works.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 09, 2011, 06:59:40 PM
He isn't always right - that's why the relationship works.

You just want me to argue with you. Right again.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 09, 2011, 07:01:08 PM
I was only stating the obvious.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 09, 2011, 07:03:28 PM
I was only stating the obvious.

It was all in the way you... ah, clever. I'm not going to fall for that.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 09, 2011, 07:07:25 PM
You are wise beyond your years. Maybe even beyond your ears too, which are quite prominent in your Sprocket rabbit avatar.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 10, 2011, 11:09:50 AM
That's why I bought him that hat, it sets them off beautifully. He never wears it though, says it interferes with his brain waves.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 10, 2011, 11:11:42 AM
That's why I bought him that hat, it sets them off beautifully. He never wears it though, says it interferes with his brain waves.

I have to receive.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 10, 2011, 11:16:45 AM
"For that you are about to receive, may you be truly thankful."
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 10, 2011, 11:21:49 AM
Here y'go. Just like the product description.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 11, 2011, 12:16:16 PM
Oh my  . . . the hat! ***faints***
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 11, 2011, 05:09:37 PM
I love it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 11, 2011, 07:07:05 PM
I'd beat you with a birch stick if you didn't.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 11, 2011, 07:09:00 PM
Remember to vary your punishments, creative punishing can be very motivating. Make the next one about The Citing Case Part 7.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 11, 2011, 07:12:36 PM
I've never been much for punishing. I get all sympathetic... if those rabbit ears drooped even for a second I'd end up apologising and turning the rod upon myself.

Tis a curse.

Although, there was that one time...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 11, 2011, 07:14:26 PM
Will it help if I ask about the poster again?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 11, 2011, 07:16:46 PM
I just metaphorically hit myself around the already concussed head. I forgot about that. After I murder La Marseillaise for some French folk tomorrow morning, I'll get right on it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 11, 2011, 07:53:33 PM
Cool, murder away. I'll be too busy writing Part 7 to investigate it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 11, 2011, 07:54:46 PM
I'm currently sticking my tongue out at the computer screen in response to your nonchalant geniusness.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 11, 2011, 08:07:54 PM
How dare you be so rude your computer screen, after all it's done for you.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 11, 2011, 08:09:51 PM
Don't you start. It's ego is already through the roof.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 11, 2011, 08:10:04 PM
She can't help it. She has a bruise.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 11, 2011, 08:11:38 PM
Yeah. And an ouchy rib. And a swollen elbow.

Ha.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 11, 2011, 08:15:53 PM
My knee went stupid today. Walking around Sainsburys this evening, trundle, trundle - AAARGH! Limp, limp, hobble . . . okay.

Saunter, dander, wander, stroll - OUCH, EEK, AARGH - same bloody thing. Seems to have sorted itself out but it was damned annoying and quite painful when it was playing up.

Stupid joint, it's not like I'm an athlete or anything. >:(
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 11, 2011, 08:16:22 PM
Yeah. And an ouchy rib. And a swollen elbow.

Ha.

Then you should stop falling on dashing, handsome, ingenious, crazy detectives.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 11, 2011, 08:20:13 PM
Then you should stop falling on dashing, handsome, ingenious, crazy detectives.

And I suppose you're writing that from Frogg's POV, eh? Sheesh. No sympathy in this office.

My knee went stupid today. Walking around Sainsburys this evening, trundle, trundle - AAARGH! Limp, limp, hobble . . . okay.

Saunter, dander, wander, stroll - OUCH, EEK, AARGH - same bloody thing. Seems to have sorted itself out but it was damned annoying and quite painful when it was playing up.

Stupid joint, it's not like I'm an athlete or anything. >:(

My foot gave way to cause aforementioned tumble. I say gave way, but really I just temporarily forgot how to use it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 11, 2011, 08:22:31 PM
Oh bugger! It really is quite bad of you though not to remember you have a foot . . . or two.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 11, 2011, 08:24:55 PM
Well, I find if you actually think about walking, (especially when on steps) it becomes terribly hard to do it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 11, 2011, 08:32:13 PM
         The Citing Case – Part 7

A first responder arrived two minutes after I had phoned for an ambulance. It was our neighbour Norbert, and he appeared to have had a shower or bath interrupted by our call for help. “What seems to be the problem?” He asked in the Norwelsh accent that convinced people he actually spoke the language.

I wasn’t really convinced that he could do much; this seemed to be a job for an ambulance. Nevertheless, he did come out of the shower or bath to come and help. So I let him poke about the unconscious form of my partner.

After the initial poking about, he got Sprocket into the recovery position and got down to some serious investigative poking. “His breathing appears to be normal, but thas a nasty bruise on his head. He’ll probably be awake soon.”

The first sign of Sprocket’s waking came as a groan, timed perfectly to a palm between his shoulder blades.

“That’ll be sore in the morning,” said Norbert, “The rest seems okay, apart from that bruise.”

Outside, the ambulance had arrived. I could see the lights and hear the siren. Norbert offered to go explain to them that the danger had now passed. This scared me. What would I do if something happened while no-one was around?

“Relax,” he said, “He’s waking up.”

“What happened?” Sprocket asked in a slightly dazed voice.

“Do you know where you are?” Norbert asked very slowly.

Sprocket smiled. “Sure Norbert, I’m on the floor of my office. Oh Gonzo, what happened?” He always called me Gonzo when he was tired and/or confused.

“I fell on you from the chandelier,” I replied.

“Of course,” he said, “Now I remember.”

Norbert went to tell the ambulance crew that Sprocket was awake and would only suffer an hour or so of mild confusion and be a little sore in the morning. So they went away.

“Jeez,” I said after all the fuss had died down, “I’m going to be your bloody assistant forever.”

“What makes you say that?”

I gaped at him, surely his powers of deduction could see it. “You flung yourself into the danger zone to save me. I’ll never be able to repay that.”

“What?” He asked. “I was going across the room to move the sofa when you hurled yourself at me.”

We sat around in silence for a while, neither one knowing what to say. Then he did know and I cursed internally for letting him get the first word in. “Where are the fortune cookies?”

“That’s a great idea,” I replied, and scampered off to get them.

He had his first, but there was a problem. “I have a headache. Read it to me.”

I didn’t read it out because it went something like, “A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.” I made something up because it was easier, “Ancient Chinese Wisdom say, “you need to buy new furniture asshole.””

“Those things are getting more accurate all the time,” he replied.

End of Day One Report.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 11, 2011, 08:32:59 PM
Ah - thinking . . . that's what I actually had to do to teach myself how to walk again after Roger the Lodger. I tried to fool the physios with a wonderfully, stylised balletic gait where I led with my toes.

Normal walking is heel/ball/toe but I couldn't do that. I could do toe/ball/heel but apparently that's not 'proper'. Even yet if I want to do something slightly unusual I have to send a direct message to my stupid left leg to let it in on the act.

Hopping - well that's a laugh! ;D ;D ;D

Bowling - crumple once the ball is released because you're only balanced on one leg and I forget to tell the poor little sod that this is coming up.

Dancing as long as it's 4/4 rhythm, left leg can't move any faster even though I think it can. Hilarious. Everyone thinks you're drunk. :D
Well, I find if you actually think about walking, (especially when on steps) it becomes terribly hard to do it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 11, 2011, 08:35:44 PM
         The Citing Case – Part 7

I didn’t read it out because it went something like, “A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.” I made something up because it was easier, “Ancient Chinese Wisdom say, “you need to buy new furniture asshole.””

“Those things are getting more accurate all the time,” he replied.


Now that was a good end to the day, I'm chuckling at my computer screen.

But now, to coin the phrase of the office simpleton genius:

"Curses. I'm leaving."
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 11, 2011, 08:38:41 PM
Oddly, I actually got the True Friend one on the day I wrote the chandelier scene.

Curses... I'm leaving too.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 11, 2011, 09:03:41 PM
I may as well make it unanimous, but without the curses because I'm a gentleman.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 14, 2011, 04:42:01 PM
I may as well make it unanimous, but without the curses because I'm a gentleman.

Go on, you've got some bastard credit in the bank.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 15, 2011, 05:29:20 PM
Day Two begins soon.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 15, 2011, 05:40:07 PM
I was just thinking about the message under your avatar.   Half crazy, but which half?

It could be both, but each crazy half believes the other half to be sane ;-)

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 15, 2011, 05:42:20 PM
It could be neither, one half is conventional sanity and the other half is unconventional sanity. There's definitely some unconventional sanity there. Or it could be six of one and half a dozen of the other.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 15, 2011, 06:24:28 PM
What if it's a baker's dozen?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 15, 2011, 07:42:46 PM
Then that extra one could be a wild card for either sanity or insanity, or even the unconventional sanity.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 15, 2011, 08:23:19 PM
How handy is that? ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 16, 2011, 06:07:35 AM
What if it's a baker's dozen?

Jeez, the writing lessons never stop. I, narrator, am not a baker. Therefore, noun: dozen, equals twelve.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 16, 2011, 06:34:17 AM
I've always felt that dozen could be the American past tense for doze, as in 'she had dozen off for a while in her porch swing'.  After all, they use dove for dived ;-)

When I first started reading American books I used to wonder where the extraneous representative of the Columbidae had sprung from.

The most jarring example of this was in a poem about a seagull.  A pleasant descriptive little little verse, which ended with the line, as the seagull hung on the wind  at the top of the cliff, 'and turning dove'.

This unexpected avian transformation really jolted me, as an Englishman, out of the poem.

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 16, 2011, 06:44:38 AM
Dozen as the past tense of doze would be a verb. My definition was for a noun.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 16, 2011, 02:12:24 PM
Tee-hee-hee. I had a croissant today.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 16, 2011, 02:24:06 PM
I have an Easter Egg.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 16, 2011, 02:25:01 PM
For me?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 16, 2011, 02:37:36 PM
For me!

 ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 16, 2011, 02:40:46 PM
N'awww.

But I wants one.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 16, 2011, 02:43:37 PM
I'm going shop in a bit, I'll get you one.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 16, 2011, 02:44:47 PM
Why thank you, can it be one of the Kinder Egg ones? They have frogs inside.

Not real ones, wind-up ones.

Omnomnom.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 17, 2011, 06:58:19 PM
Ahem?

I never did get an egg. I s'pose you decided to go off catching dangerous criminals and making the streets safer instead? Selfish.

I shall now go and sit in this corner and weep.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 17, 2011, 06:59:38 PM
It right in front of you, or haven't you looked?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 17, 2011, 07:02:00 PM
Oh. There it is. I didn't think to check the Easter egg basket.

Stop looking through those case files and go lie down on the sofa. I'm making you soup. Once someone carelessly leaves the position of looker-afterer open, you're stuck with me 'till you're all better.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 17, 2011, 07:04:02 PM
I'm only a couple of paras from another posting. I just have to figure out what to put there.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 17, 2011, 07:26:02 PM
If you spend all your brain power on solving the case you'll never get better, and then I'll have to look after you 'till I'm old and wrinkly.

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 17, 2011, 07:30:16 PM
What if them dastardly villians are doing stuff while I'm ill? Then I'd have a big job to do when I get back my strength.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 17, 2011, 07:33:54 PM
What, so you suggest I go give them what for? Me? Of all the people...

You know very well I can't even walk down a flight of stairs without breaking something. Frogg can't operate without Sprocket mocking her into action.

Now, I'm going to bed, which means you have to as well. I can't have you being all ill and getting up to no good while I'm not in the office, so go to sleep. Right now.

Oh, stop complaining, the sofa's not that bad.

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 18, 2011, 02:23:38 PM
         The Clumsy Crusaders – Part 1

I went up to the office at 8 a.m. the next morning; the door handle rattled in my hand but didn’t yield. I had a key; I was the Frogg in, “Sprocket and Frogg.” Nonetheless, it put me in a bad mood. Sprocket always gets up at 6 a.m. and I know this because he interrupts my dreams demanding we go investigate something or other. So, that must have meant that he’d gone off by himself. It was typical of him.

He’d done it before, but never on such an interesting case. So I did what I always did when he left me behind, I went for coffee at Norbert’s place.

A Norwelsh lesson was under way, so I got my own cup of coffee and listened to Norbert and his student speaking gibberish.

These morning coffees usually ended the same way, with Norbert propositioning me. So I left before his lesson was finished and went upstairs to tidy up the office while I waited for Sprocket to return.

It was even worse in there than usual, mostly because the chandelier had finally given up and gone down. There was no way I was going to do anything about that. He should have had it removed years ago.

Instead, I sorted through the papers on my desk. It was the sort of dull task that you can waste a lot of time.

Suddenly, Sprocket’s bedroom door opened and he walked blearily to the kitchen.

I had never seen him waking up before, so I followed him very quietly.

The coffee pot was steaming. Sprocket gave it a cursory look before rummaging around in a cupboard. He came with some sort of cake in his mouth.

Then, he saw me and nearly choked. “What the heck are you doing here so early?”

“What are you doing here so late?” I asked because it seemed like the only way to press this small advantage of mine.

“What time is it?”

I grinned at him, even through those sleepy eyes he could surely see that that comment was my ticket to finally winning an argument. “It’s about 8:30; I can’t believe you’re not raring to go solve this case.”

“Well excuse me for being tired; it was a long day yesterday.”

The subtle arching of his eyebrows indicated that he was alluding to our recent collision.

“That was your fault for not buying new furniture,” I said, and instantly knew that I had lost another argument. That comment sounded so petulant.

“Let’s just get on with this case,” he said and went to go change.

I poured myself a cup of coffee and waited.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 18, 2011, 09:07:43 PM
Petulant smetulant.

You'd better be feeling better today. On second thoughts, you'd better be in bed. It's well past Sprockets bedtime.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 19, 2011, 06:13:27 PM
I have no known bedtime.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 20, 2011, 12:48:21 PM
That you know of.

I, on the other hand, secretly control the world.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 20, 2011, 02:47:29 PM
That you know of.

I, on the other hand, secretly control the world.

Sure, but I write from your POV and make you do stuff. I control you, you control the world. It's like I'm a government conspiracy.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 20, 2011, 03:41:12 PM
Goddarn conspiracies.

Nip down to the shop and get us some noodles wouldja? I'm starving.

Unless you're still ill, in which case I'd let you put on a coat first.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 20, 2011, 03:47:07 PM
I went shopping earlier, there's noodles in the cupboard.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 20, 2011, 03:50:25 PM
Well, now you've made my face go like this:  :)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 21, 2011, 05:56:34 PM
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH.

Make Hardy go away.

Goddarn.

:'(

Must think happy thoughts, must think happy thoughts... Mmm, bootlaces.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 21, 2011, 07:41:43 PM
Want to talk about it? We can sit in the TMFT thread and eat sweets from it's secret cupboard.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 22, 2011, 08:55:24 AM
Is that the secret cupboard alongside the oven, or another one?  'Cause the one by the oven is nearly empty.  I think the Irish Bint discovered it ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 22, 2011, 09:19:51 AM
Is that the secret cupboard alongside the oven, or another one?  'Cause the one by the oven is nearly empty.  I think the Irish Bint discovered it ;-)

Probably looking for a new place to post - you know what she's like. :) :) :)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 22, 2011, 03:01:35 PM
No, the one that I have the only key for.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 22, 2011, 03:07:29 PM
My jelly key didn't work.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 22, 2011, 03:10:55 PM
That's because you've been chewing it again, haven't you?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 22, 2011, 03:14:00 PM
Goddarn.

I didn't think you'd notice.

It was red though. You know how much I like red sweeties.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 22, 2011, 03:14:34 PM
Sure do, cola cube.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 22, 2011, 03:17:05 PM
I got you a green key, but I think you must have eaten it when you had that nebula. You're a silly one sometimes gum drop.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 22, 2011, 03:20:58 PM
I think you're both around the barley twist, but that doesn't matter because you both coltsfoot rock.

Ye gods, it's catching
.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 22, 2011, 03:22:06 PM
No, the one that I have the only key for.

Oh, that secret cupboard.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 22, 2011, 03:22:59 PM
I think you're both around the barley twist, but that doesn't matter because you both coltsfoot rock.

Ye gods, it's catching
.

Tee-hee, the sugar's so infectious.

I don't even mind about Hardy anymore.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 22, 2011, 03:25:32 PM
Tee-hee, the sugar's so infectious.

I don't even mind about Hardy anymore.

Time to celebrate, Jelly Baby.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 22, 2011, 03:27:19 PM
How're we celebrating then Kit Kat? More sugar?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 22, 2011, 03:27:27 PM
I don't even mind about Hardy anymore.

In that case have some Spartan toffee, soft with a 'hardy' centre.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 22, 2011, 03:28:11 PM
How're we celebrating then Kit Kat? More sugar?

Dang straight, Jooster Gold.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 22, 2011, 03:31:36 PM
Omnomnom, this is my kind of party wine gum.

I forgive Hardy completely, I even feel repentant enough to have written I LOVE EGDON on my calendar for today, under death by sugar, of course.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 22, 2011, 03:36:00 PM
Goody good, Cherry Airhead.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 22, 2011, 03:38:58 PM
Oh dear, it would seem I'm running out of sweetie names. What shall I call you next, Malteser?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 22, 2011, 03:40:29 PM
Heh heh, I walked past the sweetshop this morning for just this reason. I would've gone in to get you some but I was almost late for work.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 22, 2011, 03:42:24 PM
Well, in this cyber world it really is the thought that counts, so what did you get me?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 22, 2011, 03:51:18 PM
You must mean what did I get "us". Let's see...

Jelly Beans
Jazzies
Drumsticks
Refreshers
Jelly Babies
Strawberry Cables
Cola Bottles
Fruit Salads
Black Jacks
Jelly Cherries
Jawbreakers

and....

Atomic Fireblast
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 22, 2011, 03:53:34 PM
Now that sounds like my our kind of dinner.

Cheers Raspberry Million.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 22, 2011, 04:11:53 PM
Tuck in, Shrimp.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 23, 2011, 01:54:43 PM
I gots an ouchie back.

Yes, this does affects my grammar, whatcha gonna do 'bout it?

Oh dear.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 23, 2011, 05:17:40 PM
I'm not going to do anything about it, Lemon Fizzball. Unless you'd want to draw something for me?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 23, 2011, 05:36:00 PM
If you'll hold the crayon up for me, Flump, je suis really tired. A drawing of what? A sweet? The view when tripping over things? ::)

How're you this fine evening then Muppet-head?

(If I had a sweet factory, Muppet-heads would be top in the production line.)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 23, 2011, 05:51:48 PM
I can't find muppet heads?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 23, 2011, 05:54:16 PM
Well, they're in the cardboard box labelled 'Not The Best Inventions Ever' in the cupboard under the stairs in my brain.

I couldn't think of any real sweet names.

It wasn't my best idea, although eating Kermit's head has a certain appeal, don't you think, Mini Egg?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 23, 2011, 06:09:09 PM
It sure does, Purple Snowman.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 23, 2011, 06:13:38 PM
You're sweetly foolish, Candy Floss.

I wanna know what I was meant to draw... was it the blueprints for my new brain? ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 23, 2011, 06:19:36 PM
You still haven't done the poster, have you.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 23, 2011, 06:21:06 PM
Don't look at me in that tone of voice, Sprocket. It's half done, and Hardy's taking precedence at the moment.

It will be a goddarned masterpiece when it is finished though, I swear it by sweeties.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 23, 2011, 06:33:20 PM
Well, that's reassuring. I'm going to go read. Later, Parma Violet.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 23, 2011, 06:37:31 PM
Bedtime for me, I gots to go dream up more sweeties.

Na'night Maoam Mini Chew.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 24, 2011, 04:45:34 PM
Coffee coffee coffee.

My heart, under my feet.

Bloody Eliot.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 24, 2011, 06:16:55 PM
Apple Sour, you should stop pick'n'mixing fights with canonical authors. I have percolated coffee, I win, I win, I win...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 24, 2011, 06:18:19 PM
Shurrup. Eliot's bullying me, Glacier Mint. Do something about it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 24, 2011, 06:21:05 PM
I could make up a song?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 24, 2011, 06:23:10 PM
The Wasteland is sending me into an ever widening spiral of madness.

I could make up a song?

To make The Fire Sermon go away? I'd love you forever.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 24, 2011, 06:40:54 PM
You'll see when I post.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 24, 2011, 07:21:22 PM
The Chaste Land

April fools are the cruelest sort, fermenting
gin from dead begonias, mixing
beligerence with desire, stirring
dull genes with each other.
Winter comes, come and keep
your comrade warm...
I'm back in the U.S.S.R
Don't know how lucky
you are... boy
Back in the U.S. Back in the U.S. Back in the U.S.S.R

A simple life of dried cardamon
Summer surprised us, Stormbringer coming,
time to die...
He got nothing you need,
he's gonna make you bleed...
and went on in sunlight,
to drink coffee and see the Hogfather.
My cousin, Franz Ferdinand,
took my sledding, Emily, Emily,
Hold on tight, this storm can’t last all night.
I was frightened by the fire,
Bells pealed with love and desire.

I read, much of the night, and go south
Like a duck in flight, over to Aztec ruins of
Quetzalcoatl with hot chocolate and gummy bears.
What are the roots that grow, and branches
that smack bus windows,
Out of this housing estate.
Son of Kahn, you cannot guess or know,
for you only see a heap
of Monty Python jokes
that crackle out of the ground.
There is a shadow from The Red Rock,
and now for something completely different,
your shadow in mourning your own death…

Arms full of me, you swung me higher until
I could touch the ceiling of Auntie Agatha’s dining room…
Neither living nor dead, she solved crimes in her spare time
She’s got the sniffles, nevertheless,
she’s the wisest woman in Europe.
It was Colonel Mustard in the Drawing room
With the candle-stick maker, she says, and we believe
it’s true without proof because they always admit it.
and here is his one-eyed merchant, to prove
what Auntie says is really true.

I see trees of green, red noses too,
I  see them bloom for me and you,
and I think to myself, what a wonderful world…
Unreal City, it’s the place to be,
under the smog of  Los Angeles,
a crowd flooded, playing London Bridge
with a wicked pack of cards,
and all were the ace of spades
the ace of spades, the ace of spades,
Baby, I don’t wanna live forever.

Off with their heads, off with their heads,
to where Saint Mary Woolworth’s sold
chocolate in the market place
at a reduced price. Has it come down?
Will we fatten this year?
Or is the cake’s frosting too stiff
O keep the dog far hence,
he’s not allowed to eat chocolate.
Or with his nails he’ll stitch me up again.
You! Hypocrite lecturer, mon babbler, mon frere!
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 24, 2011, 07:26:37 PM
And there we have it, you've earned my undying love, tied up with a paper ribbon.

I think I shall have to stick this to the wall above my desk. I'll never be able to look at The Wasteland again without fond amusement.



Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 24, 2011, 07:28:27 PM
Don't I have four more bits the same size to go?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 24, 2011, 07:30:53 PM
That was so good you got a discount. Unless you want to pay full price? I won't be complaining.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 24, 2011, 07:35:20 PM
I probably could finish Chess tonight.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 24, 2011, 07:37:49 PM
I wouldn't be that cruel. I've decided I'm going to go to bed at midnight, set an alarm for four so I can carry on trudging through the darned thing in the morning.

On second thoughts, I'll just write an essay on The Chaste Land by T.Hat.Oliot.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 25, 2011, 04:57:54 PM
Now there's an idea.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 26, 2011, 06:09:09 AM
Indeed, 'twould be a marvel.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 26, 2011, 01:59:01 PM
Do it over your summer holidays, I'll grade it for you.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 26, 2011, 03:24:57 PM
         The Clumsy Crusaders – Part 2

I was driving Sprocket to the first place he wanted to go during today’s investigations when I realised that he hadn’t told me where we were going. I asked him about this.

“Back to the museum,” he said.

“But why?” I asked.

“There’s a great fast food joint across the road, chilli dog and curly fries.”

Exasperated, I drove to the museum but I was going inside while he went to stuff his face.

I left him at the fast food place; he began to strike up a conversation with the guy on the stool next to his. Leaving Sprocket behind, I went back to the museum to look for more clues.

There wasn’t a lot to see, the room had re-opened except for the flagship exhibit which was missing. People were milling around, from their conversations I gathered that they weren’t art buffs but amateur criminologists. I felt so sorry for them, after my initial observation proved that there was nothing else to obtain from this crime scene.

One of these amateurs noticed me looking around, “Looking for clues?”

“Yes,” I said.

He took that as an opportunity to preach investigative methodology to me, “If only we could figure out how they got in to get to the ruby.”

“Smoke capsules under the metal sheet,” I said nonchalantly.

His eyes narrowed, “How do you know that?”

I didn’t want to tell him that I was part of the investigation because he’d probably begin stalking me. I had to think fast, “There are two black circles where the door comes down.”

“Obviously, I’m in the presence of investigative genius,” he said. Then, thankfully, he left.

I left the museum and went back to the fast food place where Sprocket was still talking to the guy he’d met there. Sometimes, his ability to just start talking to someone is impressive. However, they were talking about sports.

“Frogg, sit and eat fries, I’m nearly finished here.”

So I did as he told me, because museums make me hungry. He finished off the boring conversation about the sport things that had been happening at the weekend and we went to do some actual investigation.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 29, 2011, 12:25:57 PM
Dee dee deeeeeeeeeeee... ;D

I rather did enjoy all of that.

Do it over your summer holidays, I'll grade it for you.

Very well, it'll keep my writing muscles flexible.

Ba ba ba dum.

Hey, Fizzy Bootlace, up or Down?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 29, 2011, 10:02:56 PM
Down?

I can't post the next one yet, the computer it's on is having a hissy fit.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 30, 2011, 09:54:11 AM
Computer fixed, hooray.

         The Clumsy Crusaders – Part 3

Sprocket wanted to walk off his lunch and we did that before anything else. He made infuriating conversation while we walked around a nearby park. “Did you find any interesting, new information at the museum?”

“No,” I replied, “we picked it clean yesterday.”

“As I thought,” he said. Then he turned his attention to nature, and I knew no further conversation would take place for several minutes.

Soon, I noticed that someone was following us. At least, I thought someone was following us. I saw the same brown coated man behind us when I could get a look. I steered Sprocket out of the park to confirm my suspicion.

“You’ve seen him then,” he said.

“Yes,” I replied, “is it anyone you know?”

“No, but I saw him leaving the museum behind you.”

It was then that I knew who was following us. “That guy who tried to talk to me in there. It must be him.”

“You didn’t show off an abnormal amount of knowledge about the crime scene, did you?”

I didn’t answer him, which was enough of an answer in its own right. Sprocket sped up our walking pace just enough to make a few manoeuvres to confuse the pursuit.

We twisted him about, down dingy alleys and with several changes of direction, and soon we were following him. He didn’t even look behind him.

When he went into a café for a cup of coffee, we followed him in. We were stood right behind him in the queue and he never even saw us.

He took his coffee to a table, and we sat with him. A look of pure panic crossed his features, then he began to gaze longingly at the door.

“Why were you following us?” Sprocket asked in the blandest way possible.

This seemed to frighten him more than any threatening tone would have. He took a long drink and sat saying nothing for a long time.

“Please don’t hurt me; I have an ex-wife and two kids.”

“We’re not here to hurt you,” Sprocket replied, “We’re investigating the theft of the Goatee Ruby, but you thought we were the thieves. Am I right?”

I was totally busted for giving away too much information.

“Right mate, leave the investigating to the professionals.”
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 30, 2011, 12:37:58 PM
You know I didn't mean to give away all that top secret information stuff. I just couldn't resist the temptation of looking all nonchalantly smart.

I enjoyed the feeling until I realised you'd probably have something to say about it. I always forget detectives aren't supposed to tell the public about top secret cases. Oh well, I'll learn one day.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 30, 2011, 12:49:06 PM
Never mind, there's still a treat waiting for you when you get back from all that hard uni work.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 30, 2011, 03:38:10 PM
I'll have to write these essays and finish college first. Right now, it ain't looking likely. I got all distracted with living and dropped out last year. As my partner in solving crime, you have to make sure it don't happen again... ::)

Le sigh. I'm tired of writing. My hand hurts. Treat please?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 30, 2011, 04:04:23 PM
Sometimes, M'Dear, the only cure for a nose to the grindstone situation is to sit there and grind away.  Sad but true.  One you've put it behind you it's there for keeps, although learning itself is a lifelong process unless you choose to just vegeatate..

Dig in, Little One.

But before that, how about some crumpets cooked on the MWC Bar fire, with butter and Marmite?  And a mug of what the Arthouse Café calls 'proper builder's tea'.  I don't think it's compulsory to show 'builders cleavage' in order to enjoy it ;-)   It all helps to keep body and soul together.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 30, 2011, 04:08:17 PM
Something has just registered.  Does your college work have to be handwritten?

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 30, 2011, 04:14:59 PM
Now that sound delicious. Especially the tea part... I may have to go switch the kettle on.

Something has just registered.  Does your college work have to be handwritten?

I type up the final draft, but I tend to get a bit carried away of I type them first go, trailing off into musings and such like. When I handwrite the darned things, they tend to be more concise... a lesson I learned a couple of years ago when I handed in a sixteen page essay.

Mmmm, crumpets in the bar. I think Ollie's gone to raid a sweet shop for me, so there'll be plenty of pudding.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 30, 2011, 04:18:44 PM
Maybe ye old voice recognition thing might help here? Reading back your carefully drafted copy?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 30, 2011, 04:26:19 PM
My voice recognition fails to recognise my voice. I don't mind typing up the already done copy though, just the actual writing of it in the first place... ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 30, 2011, 04:32:29 PM
Treat time... part 2 of The Chaste Land.

         The Player of Games

The way she sat down, like a drunken stone,
glowing in the hazy bar light, where the glass
overflowing with head, let’s push things forward.
Let’s put on our classics
and we’ll have a little dance, shall we?
Double the joint, a sevenflamed candelabra,
at street level, no sales pitch, no media hype,
it’s not hydro, it’s nice and ripe.
Now we’re in full flight.
Reflecting light from off the table
as you peel the label, tell a fable.

Unstoppered, the brandy and your tongue,
we’re here forever listening as you
spit smoke on the water. A geezer’s
work is never done, when are we
gonna have some fun?
Unguent; powdered or liquid… troubled and confused,
drowning in your musk, it’s way past dusk
and way past time, the sputtering joint
burns down… I want to go to town
with you.

Don’t conform to formulas; pop genres and such,
Sharp Darts and Double Dutch,
parked cars and troubles a-much,
with more bud,
let’s push things forward.
As through a window on the scene,
change to Marlboros, the demon king
had a rude night in Florence
and Mardy Bum filled the desert
with mist to make our escape.
It’s raining fire, but
we’ve gotta keep our shape,
and still the world pursues.

Footsteps shuffled on the stair,
he’s going back to his lair.
His nerves are wound tight
and the Marlboros sucked up
the night, “My nerves are shot.
What you thinking? You bringing
the fire tonight.”
I think we’re rats in the rubble,
but I’m living in thy hazy bubble,
“Who’s got my shovel?”
Nothing after nothing, a sea
of people all singing, we
add the twits to our tweeter,
but face to face is much sweeter.

But that’s a Shakespearian joke,
and the textbox’s left blank,
and that won’t do.
What shall I do? What shall I do?
There’s no reality left for me and you.
We’re the players of games,
I’m more virtual than physical.
Searching for yourself, you find demons,
try to be a freeman and grasp that talisman
because you’re the same as I am.
And we all need a bit of love.

Love, love, love,
all you need is love…
All together now,
all you need is love,
and if you don’t give it now,
Albert can find some ragged gal.
Once bitten, forever smitten.
The kids are alright, some are outta sight,
take a pill, dodge the bill,
they won’t catch you with your speed.
It’s a fine line between
a life of crime and being a mime.
Hurry up, please. It’s time.
Good night sweetheart, ‘til we meet tomorrow.
Good night sweetheart, sleep will banish sorrow.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 30, 2011, 05:00:11 PM
You know I'm going to have to keep this 'till I die, right? You confoundedly wonderful genius.

I fully intend to make our poster the most fabulous thing in the world, but I doubt I can top The Player of Games. Let's share a joint and have a nebula, musing upon the latest crimes while I try to be artistic with these grazed hands.

I shall write you a song one day.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 30, 2011, 05:04:55 PM
And I'm going to plagiarise the lyrics for a poem for you.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 30, 2011, 05:06:49 PM
I promise I wont mind.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 30, 2011, 05:22:17 PM
It's more fun when you're indignant.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 30, 2011, 05:27:30 PM
Oh very well then, if you insist.

And I'm going to plagiarise the lyrics for a poem for you.

If you do that, I'm afraid I'll have to shove you out of another window. Just because you can write poetry don't mean you can go nicking my genius creations. Sheesh.

Secretly though, I kinda like the idea. Don't tell Sprocket though, his ego would gain it's own gravitational pull.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 30, 2011, 05:40:05 PM
I got some inspiration for you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvKinT8it2Y
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 30, 2011, 05:45:49 PM
Is that inspiration for the shoving from a window or for the pwetty song? It could always be both, but I'd rather not break you just yet.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on March 30, 2011, 05:55:24 PM
Tis both and/or something else.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 30, 2011, 06:24:12 PM
It's raining. I want to go and lie in the street and read Bukowski and live.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 30, 2011, 06:26:59 PM
It may be just me, but lying in the street and living don't seem particularly compatible bedfellows to me.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 30, 2011, 06:29:20 PM
'Specially not with my track record. It is tempting though.

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 30, 2011, 06:31:49 PM
You could lie on the pavement and make rain angels.  They're like snow angels but you have to move a lot faster ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on March 30, 2011, 06:32:29 PM
I think I shall. Rain Angels. How delightful.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 30, 2011, 06:33:37 PM
ROTFLMAO ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D


I can picture this. Luckily the wet conditions would prevent any friction and stop BW going up in smoke as she frantically beats her wings. ;D ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 30, 2011, 06:40:29 PM
Just make sure there's no men in white coats waiting to pounce.  We'd hate to lose you ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 30, 2011, 06:42:04 PM
I'm still laughing at this. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

What if somebody thought she was trying to swim?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 30, 2011, 06:55:18 PM
Would they throw her a lifeline, or would they just stand there and watch her drown?  Probably depends what sort of neighbourhood it is.

It is disturbingly easy to picture our colourful tatterdamalion little Insomnio flailing away on the wet pavement, having the time of her life, and an ambulance crew taking her away because some well meaning soul thought she was having a fit.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 30, 2011, 07:03:01 PM
Sorry . . . still kinked up with laughter ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 30, 2011, 07:12:58 PM
Luckily the wet conditions would prevent any friction and stop BW going up in smoke as she frantically beats her wings. ;D ;D

She might generate a cloud of steam though if she moves fast enough ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 30, 2011, 07:41:17 PM
Stop it . . . stop it now, I think I might have cracked a rib! :D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 30, 2011, 08:11:55 PM
Stop it?  Okay, so I wont mention the possibility of her creating a dry patch by friction alone, suddenly finding unexpected grip and shooting forwards six feet or so in a sight defying flicker like a dragster leaving the start.

But pretend you didn't read that.  I'd hate to be responsible for any more cracked ribs.

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 30, 2011, 08:14:47 PM
I read it and I'm deliberately ignoring the humour now. Seems to be working, have settled to a silly smirk, which is much more comfortable. :)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 30, 2011, 08:18:06 PM
I think we've had the best of it anyway ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 30, 2011, 08:21:22 PM
I hope she isn't still really doing it - she'd be knackered by now.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on March 31, 2011, 06:39:35 AM
Or drowned in the waves of her own making.  If anyone could drown in half an inch of water on a pavement...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on March 31, 2011, 08:28:06 PM
She is small . . .
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 01, 2011, 07:59:42 PM
I almost did drown, but Bukowski saved me.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Don on April 01, 2011, 08:04:49 PM
Is he the same one who killed Timmy?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: CollegeGuy on April 01, 2011, 08:06:06 PM
No, that was Jeff. Jeff sucks.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on April 01, 2011, 08:10:20 PM
Most people suck - and they're not all called Jeff.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on April 02, 2011, 06:11:49 AM
Most people suck - and they're not all called Jeff.

You were in a dark mood last night, weren't you?

Have a little something from the archives...

=====

        'Deliver as addressed'

        The above is the central rule of all
deliveries.  A postie with local knowledge may know the
address is wrong (quite commonly a few houses adrift)
and choose to deliver to the correct address.  But the
rules say you do nothing wrong by 'delivering as
addressed'
.

        Now, couple this with the deliberate
intransigence or plain 'bolshieness' of some customers
and you have an atmosphere in which something like the
CRU (Customer Re-education Unit) would flourish
greatly.  All this is of course totally deniable, but
the fearless Gyppo has been visiting  a secret training
school - 'Somewhere in England' -where selected posties
are taught how to obey the exact letter of the rules.

        Here's a few quotes from student's confidential
progress reports:

        1)  Postman 'x' was a little too generous with
the 'door opening charge' and bought the whole house
down, but before returning to the office he left the
offending package on top of the pile of burning debris
in a specialist asbestos lined delivery pouch.
"Delivered as Addressed, Sir!"

        2)  Postman 'b' requires further training in
the use of the TLE (tactical letterbox enlarger).
These lightweight folding chain saws are not - repeat
*NOT* - to be deployed whilst there is a crazy dog
snapping at the letterbox from inside.  Contrary to his
suggestion The Wide-mouthed Terrier is *not* a
recognised breed.

        3)  Postman 'c' is never likely to be
sufficiently adept - or mentally mature - to use the
TNLE (tactical nuclear letterbox enlarger) in a
responsible manner.  Please mark his records
accordingly to avoid accidental issue.  It is strongly
suggested that this man be returned to normal duties.

***

=====
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on April 02, 2011, 07:05:01 AM
 :D :D :D :D :D :D
Mood improved - thank you ;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 02, 2011, 08:02:55 PM
Oliver? Wherefore art thou Ollieo? I hath a secret to tell you. It's most important.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 02, 2011, 08:11:29 PM
I'm here now.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 02, 2011, 08:13:00 PM
That's 'cause I summoned you with my mystical godly powers...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 02, 2011, 08:13:52 PM
Of course, I didn't think that needed mentioning.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 02, 2011, 08:14:39 PM
Of course it did, silly... ;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 02, 2011, 08:18:19 PM
You're just trying to impress the lurkers and newbies, we both already knew that you could summon me thusly.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 02, 2011, 08:20:01 PM
Hush, I'm real drunk; I'm allowed to show off my summoning skills.

Thank God for spell check, eh?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 02, 2011, 08:22:35 PM
Are them slurring fingers blurring?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 02, 2011, 08:24:17 PM
Slurring fingers blurring words with reality, aye aye.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 02, 2011, 08:28:00 PM
Weren't you  going to tell me some sort of secret?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on April 02, 2011, 08:28:43 PM
She's forgotten, being skunk as a drunk.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 02, 2011, 08:29:32 PM
Oh hush up, I'm only as drunk as a skunk... ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 02, 2011, 08:30:29 PM
Surely you mean drunk as a monk who's feeling like a punk locked in a trunk on his bedroom bunk?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on April 02, 2011, 08:33:20 PM
Maybe she's exaggerating for effect, and is only tightly insloxicated, rather that fissed as a part, or nunk as drewt, or slabsolutelu autered.

"Good Corning, Monstable.  I assure you I'm not as thunk as you drink I am."
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 02, 2011, 08:34:43 PM
My secret was that I'm pliable to Ollie's poetry, but I'm real drunk, so I probably should log off... ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 02, 2011, 08:41:20 PM
Should and will are two very different words.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 02, 2011, 08:42:22 PM
This is very true, oh how wise you are Oliver.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 02, 2011, 08:43:15 PM
Now you're just trying to flatter me, I wonder why.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 02, 2011, 08:46:35 PM
'Cause I'm real drunk and you're the personification of wonderful.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 02, 2011, 08:49:52 PM
You kicked the personification of wonderful out a window, I'm so jealous.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 02, 2011, 08:52:16 PM
I betcha are, you muppet... :-*
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 02, 2011, 08:54:55 PM
T'was a slurring game
for the Frogg,
who croaked The Wabbit.
A robot called me his father today?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 02, 2011, 08:57:59 PM
A slurring game, the favourite game I play,
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 02, 2011, 08:59:37 PM
I gibberish make a lot, should have drugs... canni get the right stuff, what?+ I'm not in a stotle.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 02, 2011, 09:02:37 PM
I'm real drunk, but I do like you rather a lot Mister Oliie, you write me poetry and buy me wine, or at least, you're about to... ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 02, 2011, 09:03:34 PM
You're rather drunk, it makes you see the future.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 02, 2011, 09:05:24 PM
Hush, I've only had a good part of two bottles... ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 02, 2011, 09:06:09 PM
I see you left the bad parts to the canned noodles?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 02, 2011, 09:18:13 PM
Yup, I'm on joint number three,... ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 02, 2011, 09:19:11 PM
Oh deary me, oh look, I made a rhyme.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 02, 2011, 09:23:07 PM
It's about time.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 02, 2011, 11:04:17 PM
Hush, timer rhymer, oh look, I'm off my face.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on April 02, 2011, 11:05:06 PM
Did you get your essay finished?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 02, 2011, 11:06:33 PM
Who knows? I thiink so, I think I ddid.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on April 02, 2011, 11:07:40 PM
Hey - at this time of the night



                             who cares?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 02, 2011, 11:09:36 PM
Fair enough. I agree. Im too drunk, I neeed someone to look after me. Oh dear, perhaps I should go to bed.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 03, 2011, 10:47:24 AM
Deary deary me. Who let all that happen? ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 03, 2011, 06:21:50 PM
*innocent whistling*

It wasn't me.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 03, 2011, 06:25:07 PM
You're a terrible liar. That innocent whistling just wasn't believable.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Andrewf on April 04, 2011, 06:20:04 AM
But it should be believable...   :-\   


He recorded it earlier from a real whistling innocent.

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on April 04, 2011, 06:34:55 AM
Whistling...  Remnds me of two workmates ar Royal Mail.  One of them used to whistle, irritatingly off-key, and the chap next to him complained.

"You're a decent enough sort normally, but you whistle like an Arsehole."

"Arseholes don't whistle."

They debated this back and forth for a while, bickering like an old married couple, and then appealed for an outside opinion.

"Do arseholes whistle?"

"Of course, if you drop them from high enough."

That seemed to amuse - and satisfy - both of them and peace reigned again.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 05, 2011, 06:14:36 PM
Ollie, I decided you needed a new brain after all.

He Wishes For A Better Brain (But Got This One Instead)

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden nebulous light,
The sweets and drinks and the red top hats
Of night and light and the half typed,
I would lay them all before your feet:
But I, being poor, have only these keys;
I have typed my days while others sleep;
Tread softly, in case you step on your brain.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 06, 2011, 07:50:47 AM
I love it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 06, 2011, 11:09:50 AM
Thank goodness, I couldn't remember if I installed it properly.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 13, 2011, 10:51:04 AM
And finally, the new installment of Sprocket and Frogg. Those of you who haven't read any may want to scroll back to page 39 for the first one. Those of you who have wilkl almost certainly want to reread the whole thing. Some of you in between may want to read the last one because this follows on directly.

         The Clumsy Crusaders – Part 4

We left the café. The amateur sleuth followed us, not sneakily but walking along beside us, dragging his questions in tow. “What’s your next move? Have you found some miniscule piece of evidence that’ll crack the case wide open? Where are we going?”

“We need to split up,” said Sprocket, “I need to think.”

“Right,” said new guy, “You think and we’ll go back to the museum.”

I interrupted his awful plan, “That place has been picked clean. Is there anything we can investigate while you’re thinking?”

I had said it in a way that encouraged him to say no. For once, he took my meaning seriously. “There’s nothing until I’ve had a chance to think.”

Then, he strode away. Unfortunately, I was still standing in the street with the new guy.

“Right,” he said, “What shall we do now?”

“I’m going to go do laundry,” I replied.

“I can help,” he said.

“That’s a really creepy thing to say,” I replied as I walked away.

With the new found freedom of not having an amateur to hold me back, I felt really good. Then he was calling out to me.

“Wait, I don’t know how to get in touch with you guys.”

I stopped and went back to make up some phoney detective agency that we were supposed to be from. With him finally mollified, I went back to the office.

Sprocket was waiting for me, “did you get rid of him?”

“Yeah,” I replied.

He sat, quite satisfied with this achievement, and started to talk about our next move. “I’ve talked to my informant; he’s told me what I needed to know.”

“When did you talk to an informant?”

“We talked over lunch,” he replied.

I was shocked. “That guy in the fast food joint was your informant.”

It made a queer sort of sense, so he let me think about it instead of telling me outright about how they talked in codes that seemed like rather dull sports’ talk.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 13, 2011, 10:54:52 AM
“I’m going to go do laundry,” I replied.

“I can help,” he said.

“That’s a really creepy thing to say,” I replied as I walked away.

I'm less angry now... ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 13, 2011, 10:58:07 AM
I'm glad you could help yourself feel better.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 13, 2011, 11:03:09 AM
I'm glad you could help me to help me to... um. I'm confused now.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 13, 2011, 11:04:14 AM
Better to be confused than angry.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 13, 2011, 11:06:28 AM
I guess so. Smashing things is good though. Can I punch creepy man if he ever reappears? It won't achieve anything, I have a terrible punch, but it could make me look potentially cool.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 13, 2011, 01:30:26 PM
I guess so. Smashing things is good though. Can I punch creepy man if he ever reappears? It won't achieve anything, I have a terrible punch, but it could make me look potentially cool.

I think you've frightened him off.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 13, 2011, 04:48:59 PM
I never meant to, although he was creepy.

I've almost written you a song now, but I'm tired and no one's made me any hot chocolate, so I doubt it'll be finished tonight.

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: McWawa on April 16, 2011, 02:35:11 PM
By some great stroke of luck i won at solitaire on the free  Solitaire website, a final score of 5.200 in a crappy time of 08:48 ( minutes not hours) and in 122 moves. i must have too much free time to waste posting this here, but i haven't spent more than an hour on the website game and  haven't had a winning streak for such a long i just wanted to post this somewhere. Shoot ! i even copied the website page with Firefox "Screengrab" but can't post the picture here for some reason you'll be glad to know.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 19, 2011, 08:11:21 PM
By some great stroke of luck i won at solitaire on the free  Solitaire website, a final score of 5.200 in a crappy time of 08:48 ( minutes not hours) and in 122 moves. i must have too much free time to waste posting this here, but i haven't spent more than an hour on the website game and  haven't had a winning streak for such a long i just wanted to post this somewhere. Shoot ! i even copied the website page with Firefox "Screengrab" but can't post the picture here for some reason you'll be glad to know.

I'm upset to know that you can't post the picture. I like it when you get tangential.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 20, 2011, 03:53:22 PM
I met a black and white rainbow yesterday, then wrote a story about the incident. It involved some electro magpies and a blue mermaid.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 21, 2011, 12:29:08 PM
I met a black and white rainbow yesterday, then wrote a story about the incident. It involved some electro magpies and a blue mermaid.

Why haven't I read this story yet?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 21, 2011, 12:31:03 PM
Let me make a pot of tea and I shall computerify it for you.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 21, 2011, 12:34:36 PM
I'll be around, I have to fix the broken tap in the bar.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 21, 2011, 12:47:10 PM
Well, I've found the letter, now I just need to get my typing hat on.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 21, 2011, 01:57:45 PM
Go, go, go.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 21, 2011, 02:07:21 PM
Would you like a photograph of the original to keep you interested while I type?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 21, 2011, 02:16:50 PM
That'll take too much time, I wants to read it now.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 21, 2011, 02:21:25 PM
Well it's not ready yet, sir. It has to be all perfect and such. You can have a photo anyway, Gizmo the stray cat can keep you company while you wait.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 21, 2011, 04:10:36 PM
That makes me want to read it even more.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 21, 2011, 06:09:32 PM
No Rainbows were Harmed Injured Seriously Damaged Killed in the Making of This Tale

Our tale begins on a warm day in April and doesn't really go anywhere from there. The sun was breaking through the fog, so I decided to throw down my cloak of hermitage and go for a walk along the seafront in search of the blue mermaid who frequents the area on Mondays. Some would have said this was a futile plan seeing as it was a Wednesday, but ever the foolish optimist, I began my quest.

Soon enough, I realised finding the elusive mermaid was not to be. Sighing, I turned to make my way back home but a piece of green sea glass caught my eye. As I bent to pick it up, I heard a forlorn voice calling out pebble prices and hiccuping apologetically every so often. Intrigued, I simply had to investigate, being the investigatey sort.

I followed the sound of hiccuping and the increasingly strong smell of an amateur drugs den to a large cave I'd never noticed before. Managing only to stumble twice and graze one knee, I peered into the furthest recess of the cave (not that it went very far back, it just adds to the atmosphere). There, slumped against a cluster of stalagmites, was a rainbow. He was clutching an empty bottle of vodka in one hand and a badly rolled joint in the other. His once pristine Chelsea boots were scuffed and one had been repaired with the end of a crack pipe. Surprisingly, this isn't what really shocked me about the hiccuping rainbow. He was, to my astonishment, a black and white, film noir, colourless rainbow.

Naturally at this point, I pulled up a pebble and listened raptly to his tale of woe.

It turned out Roy hadn't had the best start in life, and it had all gone downhill from there really. He'd been bullied mercilessly by the other little rainbows in the playground, just because he had an impressive Mexican moustache. This relentless bullying sparked the first ever Rainbow Gothic Phase. He spiked his hair, pierced his Blue and wore a lot of eye make-up. The other rainbows were terrified of him, he was well hard. It did stop the bullying though, so it was a pretty genius move. Anyway, after he'd slashed up a few clouds and spat a skull shaped wad of bubble gum at the sun, he got bored of all the hatred and decided to start up a punk-electro band with a couple of passing magpies who'd stolen Gary Numan's left trouser leg.

The two magpies had a pretty strict 'black and white only' dress code though, so Roygbiv hooked up with Jeff, a nifty tattoo artist who moonlights as the Moon on Saturdays. Jeff said he'd sort him out in no time, so long as Roy paid him with three pots of gold.

"No problem mate," said Roy, "a gang of weird green dwarfs keep hiding 'em under my left shoe."

This proved more than satisfactory to Jeff, so he cheerfully agreed to tattoo over Roy's colourful skin. Roy was impressed with the result.

"I'm well pleased with that mate, cheers."

He tapped his Chelsea boots and grinned in the direction of the two magpies, proudly showing off his new look, but it turned out they'd gone mental at the sight of all the gold and had flown off with it all, tied up in Numans trouser leg.

Now as it transpires, there isn't much call for black and white rainbow lead guitarists, so Roygbiv was in a bit of a pickle. He ended up in Essex trying to make it in comedy, but his material was a bit dark so he couldn't make the rent and got kicked out. He spent a few weeks on the streets until a homeless man with good connections passed by and listened to his story. He was overwhelmed by the many tragic twists and turns, so he phoned Steven Spielberg and arranged a movie deal for old Roy. He thought this would really help, and he took him to the airport and waved him off as he made his way to L.A.

So Roy was to star in Spielberg's adaptation of his life story, he was being paid handsomely and it seemed as though his future would just get brighter and brighter. Unfortunately, Hollywood's a fickle place and he was sidetracked by all the drugs and the prostitutes so he was fired and they re-cast the role of Roygbiv in his own life story. He thought this was far too extreme,

"Oi! Thatshh well harsh. I'm only on my nineteenth f***ing vodka."

However, Steven was adamant, so Roy had to leave the film set. The worst part of it all was that they'd hired Jeff to do the make-up on the new guy. Fickle bastard. By this time, Roy was a five star heroin addict and alcoholic, and through a drug induced haze, he swam across the oceans and ended up on Goodwick beach trying to woo a blue mermaid by selling pebbles in exchange for his next fix.


***


I might take him a hamper tomorrow, or get him some self-help books. For now though, I'm working on illustrations for his life story. It might not be Hollywood, but he's really good to paint.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 21, 2011, 06:16:37 PM
I love this story. I couldn't love this story more, even if I tried (and I did).
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 21, 2011, 06:18:36 PM
This pleases me. You shall one day see an illustrated version, which you'll hopefully love even more.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 21, 2011, 06:23:21 PM
You keep promising illustratedness, I wants some.

Here's something to inspire/distract you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuMYV6e18VQ&feature=related
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 21, 2011, 06:28:08 PM
I shall do it, I really shall... I pwomise.

I made a shell tree that could have been a subtle advertisement for Sprocket and Frogg, but the tide got to it before it was finished.

Yum. Sci-Fi Art.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 21, 2011, 06:35:52 PM
I was watching parts 4 & 5 while I waited for your delightful story. I'll tell Starbeast you said, "Yum."
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 21, 2011, 06:44:42 PM
I just attempted to add some Sprocket and Frogg to the shell tree photo, but it was unsuccessful. Drawing on a laptop is very difficult.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 21, 2011, 06:54:02 PM
Just post the photo, you can Sproggify it later.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 21, 2011, 06:57:16 PM
This is true. Or we could get Norbert to do it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 21, 2011, 07:07:59 PM
Yum!
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 21, 2011, 07:08:59 PM
Thank-ee, I'll tell me you said so.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 21, 2011, 07:46:45 PM
Do you remember sending me a PM on Sunday?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 21, 2011, 07:55:05 PM
It's quite likely that I did this, but I don't quite remember the actual doing of it.

Did I tell you about the top secret bank robbery in it?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 21, 2011, 07:56:58 PM
There was nothing about the robbery in there. Do you save PMs to your outbox? I can send you the transcript if you don't.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 21, 2011, 08:00:13 PM
Damn. I did mean to tell you about that. Do, I'm getting curiouser and curiouser.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 21, 2011, 08:03:49 PM
How amusing. I'm impressed with both my spelling and my complete lack of memory of it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on April 21, 2011, 08:08:27 PM
Damn. I did mean to tell you about that. Do, I'm getting curiouser and curiouser.

You're definitely curious, Little One.  The Strangler's Strange Little GIrl only begins to describe you ;-)

I like the idea of a Goth Rainbow.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 21, 2011, 08:20:56 PM
If only curious had been my first word.

Here he is, a speedy sketch, he'll be done full justice tomorrow.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 21, 2011, 08:22:35 PM
That is awesome.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 21, 2011, 08:24:14 PM
I'm glad you like it. You shall one day be presented with the whole thing, illustrated in crayon and tied together with string.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 22, 2011, 07:02:39 PM
I'm glad you like it. You shall one day be presented with the whole thing, illustrated in crayon and tied together with string.

I hope so, I want to framed it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 22, 2011, 07:07:59 PM
In a frame made of pebbles, I should hope.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 22, 2011, 07:10:45 PM
An extravagant frame of shells, pebbles, red liqourice and cinnamon, all varnished and bootiful.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 22, 2011, 07:13:22 PM
Now that I'd like to see. Perfect. I'll have to tell Roygbiv, he'll be thrilled.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 22, 2011, 07:17:18 PM
I may have leavingness to do soon, the only excuse to stay would be if I got back to writing.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 22, 2011, 07:19:51 PM
Write me a story, then you'll have to stay.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 22, 2011, 07:27:07 PM
I'd have to write the story I'm working on if I have any hope of convincing myself to stay, but you can beta read it for me if you want.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 22, 2011, 07:34:52 PM
I've never been asked to read anything before, except in the opticians. I'd like to.

This film amuses me. All the actors are doing serious faces, which just makes me laugh.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 27, 2011, 02:04:53 PM
Here you go, caught on camera. Made me think of you, which prompted me to think about each rabbits individual life story and give them all names.

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 27, 2011, 02:33:58 PM
Hee hee, there's two. Who's the other one?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 27, 2011, 02:37:23 PM
Me, being an undercover rabbit. This one's you for sure though:

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on April 27, 2011, 02:38:31 PM
Where'd you go?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on April 27, 2011, 02:39:54 PM
I'm painting your portrait on a nearby hillock, to hang in the rabbit burrow.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on May 03, 2011, 06:27:32 PM
Aha, that'll keep the wolves from the door.

"I say, is that a rabbit in a top hat, let's attack it."

*Thwack*

"Did I get it?"
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on May 04, 2011, 11:37:30 AM
There was a young top-hatted bunny,
who nabbed crooks for sweets and for money,
he scoured the town,
hunted them down,
and kicked them with boots made of honey.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on May 10, 2011, 12:51:21 PM
"Sprocket?" I peered into his half of the office through the window he'd made when he went book-fort crazy. "Um, Sprocket? The Commissioner needs us." I looked again, through the haze of smoke he'd been breeding for atmosphere, and realised he wasn't there.

I chewed on my lip as I looked at the message I'd scrawled onto the back of a chocolate biscuit: Prague. 8:17pm. V Important.

I couldn't quite remember the reason behind the summons to Prague, which was why I never usually answered the phone.

Probably falling into bins up in Nottingham.

I decided to try once more, else I'd just have to get on that plane alone, which I really would rather not do.

"Sprocket?"
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on May 11, 2011, 04:18:18 PM
Your ang?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on May 12, 2011, 01:15:11 PM
Your ang?

I want this to say: 'You rang?'
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on May 13, 2011, 08:03:25 PM
Originally, it did. Then I changed it to "Yourang?" and finally to "Your ang?" because I thought it was funnier.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on May 15, 2011, 06:51:48 PM
Tomorrow I shall give you the Commissioners message. We're going to have fun in Prague, I'm cited.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on May 15, 2011, 07:00:49 PM
But we haven't solved The Citing Case because someone is too lazy to write the case report. I think it's you or me, or me being you, or you being me being you, or me being you being me being you... or something.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on May 16, 2011, 03:22:11 PM
Shhh, you'll wake the lazy side of my brain.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on May 16, 2011, 04:09:41 PM
Here, look, I discovered this specially for you, Sprock.

It's our dinner for tonight, to make up for my abominable laziness... ::)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBjLW5_dGAM

(you have to pretend they're girl arms and not man arms though)

I'm also going to do some writing to make you happy, like some Candy Planet and some Citing Case.

Aren't I the very bestest of partners in crime? ;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on May 17, 2011, 06:25:55 PM
Now it's time for the latest belatedest episodest of Sprocket and Frogg: The Clumsy Crusaders.

         The Clumsy Crusaders – Part 5

Sprocket began to share what he’d learnt from his informant. “It’s as I suspected, there’s something weird going on. The thief is a man called He-man Badger III, my eccentric arch-nemesis and BFF. I noted his style immediately. What I don’t understand is his motive; he normally commits crimes for his own amusement and to really piss me off. He was hired this time, I’m not sure by whom hired he was hired by, but I intendo to find out who hired him to be hired.”

“Are you okay?” I asked because the last sentence had been very long and that wasn’t Sprocket’s style, it also didn’t make any sense which was his style but not to this extent.

“It’s an in joke,” he explained by explaining that he was explaining the explanation.

I saw, “I see,” I said.

“I know, I know you,” he replied.

This could have gone on for hours, because it was highly enjoyable and one of the few reasons there were to work for a man like Harvey S. Sprocket Junior Mints.

This caused me to consider something that had caused me to consider something many times, “Why do you have Junior Mints in your name?”

“You know people, they’ll leave something sticky anywhere and it stuck.”

That was not a satisfactory explanation of the situation but I let it go, there were more important things to consider than mints.

We raided the sweet cupboard and set a pot of coffee the task of percolating in a reasonable amount of time. It failed, but eventually it finished and we drank coffee and spilled some on the counter. It was the sort of all nighter that you remember forever.

No-one ever told me not to do a walking philosophical monologue in a messy room. I should probably have complained to Sprocket that it should have been part of my employee training. I launched into this rant, “From what you’ve told me of He-Man, it seems likely that he did it mostly to annoy you. However, we should think about the possibility that he’s…” I tripped on a broken piece of chandelier at that point and slid across Sprocket’s desk, knocking him out of the window.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on May 17, 2011, 06:31:03 PM
I grumbled a little about the bruises I was sure to acquire, then wondered why Sprocket wasn't combining his usual mockery with an outstretched hand to help me up.

"Bugger."




I hope you manage to get back to the office soon, I was about to have an epiphany. Knowing you, you'll already have had my epiphany by the time you burst in through the door with a squashed hedgehog attached to the end of your name.

I likes this one.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on May 17, 2011, 06:34:30 PM
I have to admit something, I've written some Sprocket and Frogg material that hasn't graced this fair board yet. I'm saving it as an interlude between the end of Day Two investigations and Day Three.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on May 17, 2011, 06:35:57 PM
Well, I shall forgive you, so long as you promise to give it to me wrapped up in pretty paper with copious amounts of glitter and raspberry bootlaces.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on May 18, 2011, 08:40:37 PM
I can do that, but not until I finish off day two. Then it's interludification time.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on May 18, 2011, 08:42:00 PM
Are we allowed to go and get drinks and popcorn then?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on May 18, 2011, 09:31:15 PM
Go for it. In the mean time, I've been working on another treat for Her Royal Clumsiness. Here we go again.

         The Firestarter

We went camping in the woods,
a crave of raves in a nest
of the rest, it was the best.
The wind double crossed
the chaste land and sang,
“I’m a Firestarter, twisted Firestarter.”
Swing low, sweet Thames.
Thy Chariot awaits, Malady.
The river doesn’t throw up;
cans of lager, fag ends,
tubes of lubes, pretty photogrifts
and melanoma. Nymphs get into
all the best clubs.
They all forgot their towels?
How are they going to dry
their loitering hairs?

The cold horn blasts
at my back to front and centre;
a short back and sides, please.
Bones cackles and wings a nebula
my way. He did it his way
I’ll take the low road
and you take the highway
but I’ll be in Scotland
a’fore ye,
you’ll be stuck on the M25.
Don’t panic,
you’ve got hashish candies.
Musing upon, my brother,
the king’s weekend fling,
I found, the king,
Elvis Presley entertaining
at this bar in another dimension.

Oh, the moonshine brightens Mrs Porter;
aye, and her daughter,
they wash their feet in soda water.
And oh, the sound of children, singing in the cupholder.
So rudely forced, they’d rather play football.
Unreal City, unreal town,
unreal village, unreal sound,
unreal sight, unreal smell,
unreal taste, synthetic soul.
C.i.f. London documents at sight,
if you want to follow the current trends.
Ask me again in demonic French,
to luncheon down Abbey Road
and then to metronome.
Parma Violet, the human injun,
throbbing between two lives.
A typist home for tea or
a palindrome?

On the Divan piled (her bed at night),
jelly babies, absolved barley,
apple sours and Kalashnikovs.
I, Tiramisu, an old man digging
up olfactory Pompeii.
Exasperated, the young car-boot-sale
arrived today with a takeaway,
to swoon the Theban diva duvet
and walk among the slowest of the dead.
The music was struck at midnight,
in Victoria Station, Queen
played Bohemian Rhapsody.
      Is this the real life?
      Is this just fantasy?
      Caught in the landslide,
      no escape from reality.
      Open your eyes,
      look up to the skies and see.

      I’m just a poor boy,
      I need no sympathy
      because I’m easy come, easy go,
      little high, little low.
      Anyway the wind blows
      doesn’t really matter, to me
      to me.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on May 18, 2011, 09:59:05 PM
Very appropriate interludicatorinessment. :D I forgot to get butterballs. :(
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on May 20, 2011, 12:18:02 PM
I love these so much I'm probably going to end up quoting yours in the exam on Monday... ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on May 20, 2011, 08:00:07 PM
I don't remember two of the last eight hours.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on May 20, 2011, 08:01:14 PM
Drink, drugs, sleep or lack thereof, or too many sweeties?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on May 20, 2011, 08:02:53 PM
Three of frour, and drinking isn't any of them.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on May 20, 2011, 08:04:21 PM
Yum. I'm taking care of the drinking, but I'm only at the beginning. I'll take care of two of the others before the night is done, and sleep has nothing to do with it.

Mini Egg?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on May 20, 2011, 08:05:23 PM
Thank you, toffee popcorn?

I want to post an upside down exclamation mark.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on May 20, 2011, 08:06:24 PM
Perfect.

This could be used in dire circumstances: "i"
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on May 20, 2011, 08:08:04 PM
Ah, I meant question mark. I'm smorry.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on May 20, 2011, 08:12:17 PM
Like this¿

¿
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on May 20, 2011, 08:13:28 PM
Ah, Gyp, you beat me.

D'you want my version anyway, Sprock? Just so you have a reserve?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on May 20, 2011, 08:14:29 PM
I'm happy now¿!
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on May 20, 2011, 08:15:46 PM
Here's a lellow one to hang on your wall.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on May 20, 2011, 08:18:57 PM
I have to go carpooling in six hours... I should really write some more or my story won't get to enjoy the advantages of being written by a guy who's putting chemicals he norally doesn't have access to into his bodything.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on May 20, 2011, 08:22:33 PM
No you shouldn't. I'm enjoying the advantages of a guy putting chemicals he doesn't normally have access to into his bodything. The story can wait.

Also, cars and pools shouldn't generally mix. One or the other tends to break.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on May 20, 2011, 08:40:18 PM
Ah, Gyp, you beat me.

It's all lies.  I've never beaten a woman.  Anyway, with your track record you do yourself enough damage without needing help.

How's the knee coming along?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on May 20, 2011, 08:42:21 PM
It's less lethal looking now, though I got a thorough telling off from the doctor.

I think it'll leave a healthy scar. It happened a week ago today, and I woke up with the darned thing bleeding again.

I've invested in some knitted knee warmers though... ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on May 20, 2011, 08:43:10 PM
Also, cars and pools shouldn't generally mix. One or the other tends to break.

Keith Moon from the Who had a habit driving cars into pools.  The more expensive the car the happier he was.  He usually had spurious chemicals in his body at the time.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on May 20, 2011, 08:46:09 PM
I'm Emily Moon. If I ever learn to drive, I shall drive a Rolls into the sea in a spectacular fashion.

I shall have to become rich first though, else it would be nigh on impossible.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on May 20, 2011, 09:03:05 PM
It's less lethal looking now, though I got a thorough telling off from the doctor.

My doctor, a nice quiet little old gent cringed when I went in one day to see him with a mashed thumb, which had turned septic and, a few days after the injury, resulted in red streaks running up towards my wrist.  The nail was split from top to bottom.

"Did you hit it with hammer?"

"No.  Someone else did."

"That should teach you not to hold things for other people to hit."

"I wasn't.  I was trying to hit him with an axe."  I reminded him about our re-enactment show.

"Was it a big hammer?"

"Yes, like a sledgehammer but on a six foot handle."  I didn't tell him the head was only made from wood.  "My thumb got squashed between a shield and the hammer."

Having patched me up a few other times he went quiet about this and then said,  "You really ought to take up something safer, like stamp collecting.  You're only young but at this rate rate you'll be used up before you get old." 

He meant well, but just didn't understand.

Two weeks later I was back in there for the compulsory medical before doing parachute training ;-)

He prodded and poked, checked my eyes etc, and then laughed as he was signing the form.  "It's just as well this only asks me to certify your physical fitness and not your mental health."

I miss him.  I was quite unlucky with doctors.  All the ones who predicted an early death for me dropped dead themselves.  I reckon some of them would have still been alive if they'd had the occasional belt of adrenaline running through them to 'clear the pipes'.

But Doc Fuller's warning about being 'used up before you get old' does come back to haunt me sometimes when things ache more than they should.

Ah well ;-)

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on May 20, 2011, 09:05:34 PM
Don't worry, when Ollie wakes up from his drug induced haze, we're all off to Silt's for a five month party... ;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on May 20, 2011, 09:09:13 PM
Brilliant! >:D >:D >:D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on May 20, 2011, 09:11:21 PM
Tee-hee, the recruitment is working... ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on May 21, 2011, 02:14:24 PM
Y'know, you should pack the car the night before. That way, you can set out even earlier.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on May 21, 2011, 02:19:01 PM
Evenin' squire.

Apart from a measly attempt at a Biblical flood, no Judgement Day shenanigans to speak of here.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on May 21, 2011, 02:20:28 PM
Well, we'll have to do something about that, shan't we?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on May 21, 2011, 02:21:54 PM
No setting fire to anything though. Even the rain's stopped now.

Maybe Judgement Day is supposed to be really secret, so they sent out a false date to fool us all... ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on May 21, 2011, 02:29:22 PM
Heaven is run by a government (of sorts), they never stick to self-imposed deadlines.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on May 21, 2011, 02:30:15 PM
;D

I put some mini eggs under your pillow when you disappeared, didja find 'em?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on May 21, 2011, 02:31:25 PM
I did, I done and ated them.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on May 21, 2011, 02:33:03 PM
Sorry there weren't any yellow ones, but they ain't meant to be shared. They're far too yummy.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on May 21, 2011, 02:41:52 PM
I understand.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on May 21, 2011, 02:42:42 PM
Phew. My nails have been bitten down to the quick worrying about it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on May 21, 2011, 03:10:40 PM
I have to go now, Doctor Who to watch you see.

I'm taking your pillow though, case I get fwightened.

Byeness.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on June 01, 2011, 10:22:08 PM
I returnify to the old triumvirate of storyness that I filled this place up with before there were a Sprocket and Frogg to be even more entertaining than that (or "thant" if you prefer). Here's one more astory from Bobby Whatsisname and Jenny Whotzerface.

          Pretention

Young Master Bobby Whatsisname had, over the years, become Mister Bob Whatsisname, Esquire, National Inquirer and Daily Sport, and he still couldn't get his long time love to love him long time.

They were now at university, but more precisely they were lying in the shade under the dreaming spires. It was a dreaming place for dreamers to dream about their dreamy dreams.

Bob had a dream about a cat that flickered between being a white cat and a black cat as it walked down the road. It's name was Stenner. He thought it symbolised the fluctuating destiny in front of him. He told his lady love abouit the dream of a cat and his supposed symbology.

"You're probably being pretentious," she replied.

“But the cat, he changes colour,” he enthused, “it must mean something because I’m at university and everyone knows that what people at university think is more important than what other people think.”

“I’m at university too,” said Jenny, “and I think you’re being pretentious.”

Bob thought about this, in the same way he thought about everything now.” Maybe if we were having sex, I wouldn’t look for meaning in everything.”

This was a mistake, like most people’s lives. Jenny, who was a woman and therefore smarter than him, gave him a reproachful look. “Why must everything be about sex with you?”

“Why must nothing be about sex with you?” He liked that line. “Now is the time when we should be experimenting with the boundaries of human behaviour.”

“I am,” she said.

“What?” He asked.

“I’ve been trying to see how long I could resist you.”

“What?” He repeated.

She smiled broadly at him. “I thought you knew. You are, after all, at university.”
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on June 01, 2011, 10:26:41 PM
Consider me duly entertained and chuckling, and you a Master Wordsmithnessiauorama.

"Why must everything be about sex with you?"

"Why must nothing be about sex with you?"

Geniusness.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on June 01, 2011, 10:31:27 PM
Now I wants a little entertainmentness from you. A candy planet story should cover it. Then I'll be back with more adventures from adventurers past (specifically Harry the guy qwho talks to inanimate objects).
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on June 01, 2011, 10:33:27 PM
An I for and I, eh?

Candy Planet here we go... ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on June 01, 2011, 11:18:05 PM
Rorbit

After being sent to a psychiatric planet for some unclear reason, Harry Ersatz was studied studiously by the planet’s team of doctors. They believed that Harry talked to things that should not talk because of his skewed relationships with things that should talk (specifically people, and sometimes parrots).

A possible way to rehabilitate him was hit upon almost immediately. They decided to give the psycho a chirpy robot buddy.

“We don’t have enough money in the budget for that,” said Psychologist #1.

Psychologist #2 replied, “let’s buy a cheap one off eBay.”

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” P-1 asked.

“Sure,” said P-2, “it’ll be fine.”

So they bought a chirpy robot off eBay, the kind with such basic intelligence that it’s normally given to a child for their eighth birthday.

Harry was released back into the wild under the understanding that he had to spend time with his new companion. A sensor was injected into his ankle and the robot was set to find him if they spent a certain amount of time apart.

They took Harry and his new pal home and left them alone together. They went inside and he saw that something was wrong. The sofa wasn’t there.

He stormed into the kitchen. The left kitchen light flickered into life as it saw him enter (also, he turned the lights on).

“Oh,” it said, “I thought you were gone for good.”

“No, they let me out. Where’s the sofa?”

“Your brother sold Demetri to some crack addicts.” (See Character A’s Amazing Something, but don’t stare)

Harry lent on the counter looking shocked. “Christ, I hope he’s okay.”

The robot chimed into the conversation. “What are you talking to?”

“The left kitchen light,” said Harry.

“Oh,” said the robot, “Hello light, I’m Rorbit.”

“What the hell is that?” Left Kitchen Light asked.

Harry thought about that really hard.

“You appear to be thinking really hard,” said Rorbit.

Harry replied, “the light asked me what you are.”

“I’m a chirpy robo-pal,” it said.

“What he said,” said Harry.

“It’s not very bright, is it?” Lefty asked.

Harry had already figured that out, and he hadn’t said so because he didn’t want to hurt its chirpy feelings. He was rather glad that Rorbit couldn’t hear Lefty. “I suppose,” he said, “I have to have him around for my rehab, so he’s part of the family now.”

“You are so going to commit suicide,” said Lefty.

But Harry wasn’t listening; he’d noticed another gaping hole in the fabric of the apartment’s reality. “Where’s Jerry?”

“Who’s Jerry?” Rorbit asked.

“The toaster,” said Lefty but Rorbit didn’t hear him.

“Did my brother sell him too?”

“Nah,” said Lefty, “he moved out.”

“Moved out, how?”

“Who’s Jerry?” Rorbit asked.

Lefty replied, “He’s the new managing director of Lloyds TSB, and he’s out of the closet and living with a very nice young man.”

“How nice for him,” said Harry.

“Who’s Jerry?” Rorbit asked.

“Your pet thing is either really curious about Jerry or it’s broken.”

“He was my toaster,” Harry said, a bit more wistfully than he intended.

“Oh,” Rorbit said to himself and then left the room for no apparent reason.

“Right,” said Lefty, “now that Tommy Two-tone is gone, what are you going to do now that you’re back?”

“I don’t know,” said Harry.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on June 01, 2011, 11:53:00 PM
Bread Toast

Harry slumped onto the empty floor space Demetri had once called home and thought about having a little weep.

"Oi. You're sitting on my lead."

He blinked his blinkedy eyes at the cable under his left shoe and lifted his foot contritely.

"Sorry. I'm a bit frazzled," he mumbled, "Jerry's left me, Demetri's gone and I've got a Rorbit who disappears for no apparent reason. What am I supposed to do about that?"

Twonkle, the DVD player with the offended cable, mused for a while, whirring quietly away as he did so, just to reassure Ersatz that he was musing to the very best of his ability.

"Perhaps you could call the Psych-Planet and ask them?"

Harry frowned at Twonkle and the Right Kitchen Light chuckled at his naivety. Before he could set the DVD player straight, an old turntable with a gravely voice spoke up from the corner.

"Harry don't speak to people, it ain't his way," he sang, jazz dripping from every syllable.

"Careful, Bob, don't go dripping jazz all over the carpet. It's new." Harry said absentmindedly. He was thinking about people again. He did a lot of people thinking, and it never ended well.

"Where's the swings? I had swings on eBay." Rorbit was back, and seemed petulant. He only seemed petulant cause Harry had a habit of projecting emotions onto things. Psychologist #1 had tried to explain, but Harry went carefully deaf during the process.

"Twonkle?" he asked, chosing to ignore Rorbit so he would build more of a character. Ignorifying, he called it.

"Mmmhmm?"

"Can you make toast out of bread?" he whispered forlornly.

The Left Kitchen Light flickered sympathetically. The loss of Jerry was hitting Harry hard.

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on June 02, 2011, 12:01:23 AM
I have an idea for a new Harry short, it's even more out three thant anything Ivan ever tried beforte?

I loved Twonkle and Bob, theys a fine interaddition to the family.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on June 02, 2011, 12:02:50 AM
Yes, dear. Paper and ink it on the computernator.

It's all light and there's a black van parked sinisterly outside my window.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on June 02, 2011, 12:04:00 AM
I honestly read that as "sisterly outside my window"
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on June 02, 2011, 12:05:57 AM
It's cause we stayed up all night again playing with the black squiggly lines on the screen.

Where's your uncle? He could make the van bugger off. Or you could send your Left Kitchen Light over.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on June 02, 2011, 12:15:17 AM
Yeah, Lefty would probably say something really sarcastic and that'd scare the panties off that black van.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on June 02, 2011, 12:19:16 AM
That imagery is good enough for me. If someone gets out, climbs through the jungle of my back garden, over the roof of the shed and through my window to kill me, I shall simply point, laugh, and my last words will be something like this:

"Ha... van... *giggle* sarcastic light... panties... *earnest laughter at the bewilderment of my would be killer* Oliver... tee-hee... Candy Planet and Harry... *chuckle* Jerry. Ha."
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on June 02, 2011, 12:25:08 AM
Close the window, these stories wouldn't make any sense if you weren't there to read them. 
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on June 02, 2011, 12:27:22 AM
'Kay. M'honoured to read them really. I ain't never helped the path of sense afore... ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on June 02, 2011, 12:29:15 AM
Ah, but this is making nonsense make it's own kind of sense which is a noble pursuit.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on June 02, 2011, 12:30:49 AM
So we're like noble word warriors of Nonsensicala.

I sense a story in this.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on June 02, 2011, 12:32:27 AM
We already have one story from the noble warriors of Nonsensicalia (Sir Dance-alot) and I'm sure there'll be moreness to be had.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on June 02, 2011, 12:34:11 AM
But of sureness. Course. Doolally. Yum, it's like Camelot in here, with less cheating and dallying.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on June 02, 2011, 12:35:11 AM
It is like carrot cake, isn't it?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on June 02, 2011, 12:36:40 AM
Carrot cake. Oh my. Sir Carrotcakeness will prevail. Yum.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on June 02, 2011, 01:11:27 AM
Jerry gets to talk a lot more in this story than in his previous appearance

It came to be, after some time, that Lefty decided to be a nice light for a while and reunite Jerry with poor Harry for a while. The only problem was that he could not reach the telephone to call Jerry and communicate this desire to him.

One day, when he puzzled this out, he saw the perfect instrument for his niceness in the kitchen for some reason (mostly because the plot demanded it). Rorbit was there but Harry was not.

“Hey, Rorbit, I need your help.”

However, Rorbit didn’t hear him. Lefty had forgotten since the robot came into the kitchen infrequently. He had another puzzle to puzzle out. Then the perfect answer hit him suddenly.

“Hey Slowmoe,” he shouted at the computer. At which point it began to turn itself on very slowly.

As Rorbit walked past the computer he noticed that it was turned on, and he stared at it.

“Yeah,” said the computer.

“Tell him that I need to talk to him, he doesn’t hear us.”

“He needs to talk to you,” said Slowmoe.

Rorbit didn’t hear the computer so he shrugged and carried on with what he was doing.

“Are you stupid as well as slow? He doesn’t hear us, you’ll have to type.”

So, Slowmoe began to type it across the screen, and that was something that Rorbit could hear. So he returned to the computer to read the message.

SLOWMOE: RORBIT, LEFTY NEEDS TO TALK TO YOU.

“Okay,” said Rorbit. He went into the kitchen and stood under the left kitchen light.

“You can’t hear me, which is good because I’m about to call you an idiot for coming into here when the only way we can communicate is through Slowmoe. You’re an idiot.”

Rorbit realised that he couldn’t hear what Lefty was saying so he went back to Slowmoe.

“I can’t hear what he’s saying.”

SLOWMOE: HE WANTS YOU TO READ IT OFF OF MY SCREEN.

“That makes sense,” said Rorbit.

SLOWMOE: HE SAYS THAT HARRY AND JERRY DIDN’T GET ANY CLOSURE IN THEIR FRIENDSHIP. HE WANTS TO ARRANGE A SURPRISE DINNER WITH JERRY AND HIS NEW BOYFRIEND. WOULD YOU HELP HIM ARRANGE IT?

“I’ll do everything I can to help.”

SLOWMOE: GOOD, HE WANTS YOU TO CALL JERRY AND ASK HIM TO COME TO DINNER ON FRIDAY NIGHT.

So, Slowmoe gave Rorbit Jerry’s phone number and Rorbit phoned Jerry. After two rings, the phone was answered.

“Hello, who’s speaking please?” Jerry asked, but Rorbit didn’t hear him.

“Is this the residence of Jerry the Toaster,” said Rorbit.

“Speaking, may I ask your name?”

“If this is Jerry on the other end of the line, I must say that I cannot hear you. I am unable to hear the voices of inanimate objects. My name is Rorbit and I am Harry Ersatz chirpy, robot buddy. Lefty wanted me to ask you and your partner to come to dinner here on Friday night at eight o’clock. If you are going to come would you please make some sort of signal that I can understand?”

Suddenly, a button was pressed on the other end of the line. Rorbit took that to mean that Jerry had agreed to come to dinner.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on June 08, 2011, 10:06:40 PM
Here's the fourth installment of The Chaste Land

Dead Babies

Consider Phlebas, a fortnight in Amsterdam,
forgot to go through customs, and fell off the ferry
in the night time.

         A Currant bun,
picked his bones in whispers of Phlebtonium
as he rose and fell, Heisenberg passes in age
and youther

Entering a whirlpool
What’s that Caruthers?
Oh, you who turned me down for a date,
Consider Phlebas, who once was
the spitting image of a cheese grater.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: DGSquared on June 11, 2011, 07:12:56 PM
Which cheese grater?

So many options here! (http://www.nextag.com/cheese-grater/stores-html)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 06, 2011, 12:16:30 AM
Top Cat

One day, very soon after Character A and Character B had decided not to talk for a while, Character A was walking around the town. He stopped for a quick respite, sitting upon some stony steps in the shade, and smoked a cigarette.

There, as he crushed it underfoot, a small, ginger kitten came nervously towards him.

“Hey there,” said Character A and he put his hand out palm upwards.

The little kitten came right up to him and began to lick his palm. He laughed, and the kitten backed off a little. So he stayed very still and let the kitten lick his palm.

Eventually, it jumped onto his lap and fell asleep. He stroked it for a while and then carried it home.

He put the kitten on their snooty new sofa and was about to open a can of tuna for it to eat for it’s eating time when the sofa made a complaint.

“There’s a cat on me,” it said.

“Yes?” Character A said, he didn’t like the sofa and the sofa didn’t like him and they frequentlingly argued with each other.

“Why?” The sofa asked.

“Why not?” Character A said.

“I don’t want a cat on me,” said the sofa.

“Tough,” said Character A, “You’re my property; I can do whatever I like with you.”

“Yes,” said Demetri the sofa, “You’ve made that abundantly clear already. Does Character B know about this cat thing?”

“Not yet,” said Character A, “but he won’t mind.”

Then, almost as if the plot demanded it for a speedy resolution, Character B came home from that place he went to during the day.

“Character B,” said Demetri, “the fool has brought home a cat thing. I wish to make a complaint.”

“Wish away,” said Character A, “but I paid half for you, and don’t allow it. So there.”

“I paid the other half,” said Character B, “complain but make it quick and short.”

“I just know that that thing is going to scratch me to pieces, you can’t allow it to live here.”

Character A gently picked up the kitten and practically shoved it in Character B’s face. “Isn’t he cute?”

“Yes, um, listen, I’m kinda tired. Can we make this a two part story?”

“Sure, we’ll discuss it on Sunday,” said Character A.

“I’ll be dead by then,” said Demetri.

“Goody,” said Character A, “Then we can keep Top Cat.”
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 06, 2011, 12:19:55 AM
I like this story very much, as does Gizmo, who's keen to hear part two. He says he'll keep Sunday free specially.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 06, 2011, 12:27:36 AM
Let's return to the bar...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 06, 2011, 12:29:54 AM
Let's.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 06, 2011, 12:35:29 AM
I have so many storythings to finish off. Oh well... 
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 06, 2011, 12:39:48 AM
There'll be time.

"Time for you and time for me,   
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,   
And for a hundred visions and revisions,   
Before the taking of a toast and tea."
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 06, 2011, 12:48:42 AM
In the meantime...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VAnIepBxDQ&has_verified=1
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 06, 2011, 12:51:58 AM
Best series ever.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 09, 2011, 07:16:11 PM
Tomorrow you shall have the adventures of Roygbiv, part two. At least, I think so... depends if the Two Legged Mermaid signs the release forms.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 09, 2011, 08:41:08 PM
Tomorrow you shall have the adventures of Roygbiv, part two. At least, I think so... depends if the Two Legged Mermaid signs the release forms.

Are you referring to tomorrrow today or tomorrow monday?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 09, 2011, 08:43:05 PM
Tomorrow today, but before I post it with some light in the sky, I have to write a song about Saturday.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 09, 2011, 08:56:51 PM
Will it include gigantic metal horsies heads in scottish beds?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 09, 2011, 08:59:28 PM
With no graffiti. Of course... ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 09, 2011, 09:00:57 PM
What monstrosity have I spawned?  ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 09, 2011, 09:13:14 PM
You spawned that horse's head?

Ouch!
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 09, 2011, 09:16:37 PM
No.  But I may have spawned a strange and mysterious thread connected with it.  The gods alone know what you and the little one will do with it.

Like Pontius Pilate I wash my hands of it ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 09, 2011, 09:19:42 PM
You know, you shouldn't play favourites with your progeny even if the other two have done a lot more to make you proud (like being human, I'd be proud of any children I may have in the future if they turned out to be human).
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 09, 2011, 09:22:10 PM
You know, you shouldn't play favourites with your progeny even if the other two have done a lot more to make you proud (like being human, I'd be proud of any children I may have in the future if they turned out to be human).

What a lovely sentiment. Very Milligan.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 09, 2011, 09:27:56 PM
You mean Mulligan? You don't get any of those in the game that was once called Life but is now called Space Invaders.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 09, 2011, 09:30:27 PM
Spike.

My dad wants the infamous: 'I told you I was ill' on his headstone, but he doesn't really want a headstone, so it's all a bit of a confusion.

I just read your rant. It amused me.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 09, 2011, 09:32:48 PM
"We are not very amused."
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 09, 2011, 09:40:13 PM
Hey, Ollie? You are a funny one.

I have a torch that you charge by winding a gear on the bottom. I looked at it and thought, "That looks like a fishing reel."

So today, I stood in this room that I'm in now and I got the torch, cast off from the perfect bank into the perfect river. I stood there smelling the fresh summer air, swatting gnats, tossing back a brew and watching my line intently and then I fell in the river.

Reading through old stuff is fun.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 09, 2011, 09:48:21 PM
I have new, free, chocolate, sex (by which I mean a new, free, funny story, but c'mon, that sounds better) for you.

Top Cat – Part Two

On Sunday, the day on which Character A and Character B had designated for their discussion about whether or not it was a good idea to keep a cat as a pet, Character A and Character B sat upon two of the chairs that surrounded their dining table to discuss whether it was a good idea to keep a cat as a pet. They weren’t sitting upon the sofa because neither of them liked to sit on the sofa since the incident with the night of horrifying sofa communicativeness.

“Well,” said Character B, “put forth your argument.”

“Excuse me,” said Demetri the sofa, “but I don’t feel like a part of this conversation when you’re way over there.”

Character A did some trifling action to break up the narrative, I think it was a sip of his coffee, and then spoke to the sofa. “You aren’t a part of this conversation, pay some rent and then you’ll get your say.”

The sofa tried desperately to emote its disdain without talking, because not talking makes disdain even stronger, but it couldn’t. So it thought about the people in its former abode and decided it just had rotten luck when it came to meeting people.

Then, the discussion really began. Character A picked up the cat that he’d been calling Top Cat since he’d brought it home. “Can we keep it, huh, huh, huh? Can we? Can we?”

“I don’t know Character A. Pets are a huge responsibility. Do you think you’re ready for that sort of commitment? You’ll have to clean up after it, and make sure it’s fed and washed and deloused and all that stuff.”

“I can totally handle all of that,” said Character A.

“Remember the pet swan I had when you moved in?”

Character A looked thoughtfully at the ceiling. Then he returned his gaze to Top Cat. “Jimmy the Swan was delicious, but it’ll be different this time. I’m a growned up now.”

“I need to see clear proof before I’ll agree to this.”

“I spoke about Nuclear Detergent very grown-uppily a while ago.”

“Damn you,” said Character B, “we agreed never to speak of that again.”

Character A laughed to himself. “I won the debate, I won the debate.”

“No, you said a bunch of stuff to confuse me and I got confused. That’s not debating, it’s annoying.”

“I won the debate,” said Character A.

Character B had stopped listening and was busy thinking.

This concerned Character A and he stood up so that he could go around the table to where Character B was sitting and tug at his sleeve. “B, we’re talking, aren’t we? Oh, please say that we’re talking. I like Top Cat and we need to talk so that we can keep him.”

“You do it just to annoy me, don’t you?”

“Do what?” Character A asked.

“You spout complete gibberish just to annoy me,” said Character B, “yeah. I know your game.”

Character A stood up vehemently. “You’re talking crazy, man.”

“Nah, you’re crazy; all those comments about learning that bananas were food at an early age and perhaps I have an Ischemic Bowel. You do it to annoy me.”

“You’d dare use continuity on me?” Character A asked.

“Why not? They do it in other stories.”

Character A just looked coolly at his roommate. “Then why not call me Character DD while you’re at it?”

“Because that would be confusing,” said Character B.

“Aha,” said Character A, “Experimentally, my dear Boston. Being a slave to past events just confuses the present and not in a good way. Have you forgotten that we’re trying to decide whether or not to keep the cat?”

“I had rather,” said Character B, “if I let you keep it, can we end this awful conversation?”

“I’d like nothing more,” said Character A.

“Excuse me, guys,” said Demetri the sofa, “do you mind selling me? I’m hoping that maybe someone normal might buy me if I was for sale.”

“That’s an awesome idea,” said Character A.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 09, 2011, 09:54:27 PM
I have new, free, chocolate, sex (by which I mean a new, free, funny story, but c'mon, that sounds better) for you.

Yes, yes it does. This is the best bit of the whole story.

“Aha,” said Character A, “Experimentally, my dear Boston. Being a slave to past events just confuses the present and not in a good way. Have you forgotten that we’re trying to decide whether or not to keep the cat?”

Although this comes in as a very close contender.

I'll have to make Roygbiv's foray back into literature extra special now.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 09, 2011, 10:04:42 PM
Quote
The sofa tried desperately to emote its disdain without talking, because not talking makes disdain even stronger, but it couldn’t. So it thought about the people in its former abode and decided it just had rotten luck when it came to meeting people.

This was my favourite line, but then again... the new, free, chocolate, sex line wasn't really mine... I, errr, I borrowed it. The parenthetical bit belongs to me so it's all good in the hood... right?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 09, 2011, 10:06:14 PM
Yes, Oliver, it's all good in the hood... ::)

That shouldn't have made me smile that much, but it did.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 09, 2011, 10:41:08 PM
You're going to make me pay for that later, aren't you?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 09, 2011, 10:42:02 PM
How did you know?

It was a brilliant move on your part though, brava.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 09, 2011, 11:54:18 PM
Right, the last section of Sprocket and Frogg - Day Two might be here later today. That's not a promise, just a notice. I have to go stand up.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 09, 2011, 11:55:55 PM
I'll hold you to that notice. I'm cooking breakfast. Want some?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 09, 2011, 11:57:15 PM
What are we having?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 09, 2011, 11:58:35 PM
Full English. With tea and toast.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 09, 2011, 11:59:09 PM
Okay, but I don't have beans or mushrooms.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 09, 2011, 11:59:59 PM
Thank goodness, they're just silly additions to the niceness of the meal.

How many eggs dost thou fancy?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 10, 2011, 12:03:20 AM
I can manage with two.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 10, 2011, 12:05:53 AM
There you go, a cyber two eggs, no mushrooms or beans, full English.

Enjoy, and pass the ketchup, wouldja?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 10, 2011, 12:14:16 AM
This calls for a song about egg and you...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsLQRfQPSrk&NR=1
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 10, 2011, 12:17:46 AM
Of course it does.

I don't care about the neighbours any more. It's past 5am, if they can't deal with The Egg and You, they can get rid of their cockerel.

Doo dee dee. 
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 10, 2011, 12:26:49 AM
Let them eat cake, if they're awake enough to chew it properly. If not, DON'T let them eat cake.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 10, 2011, 12:32:30 AM
Cake? Where?

Damn, you got me. If I had cake, they wouldn't be getting any.

I need another cuppa. You want one? Or is it a coffee sorta mornin'?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 10, 2011, 12:37:13 AM
I have coffee, but it's not good coffee. All the better write with though.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 10, 2011, 12:38:06 AM
Coffee doesn't rate high with me. Tea is the nectar of life.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 10, 2011, 12:46:11 AM
I agree, but coffee is a fuel of inane writing weirdness. Tis a provenable fact.

If we went for good coffee you might like that.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 10, 2011, 12:47:21 AM
There's coffee other than the foul stuff I make? Really?

How's Tuesday for that then?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 10, 2011, 12:51:54 AM
I shall be in horrible reality then, try to meet me there. It's where the good coffee is.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 10, 2011, 12:53:23 AM
I'll do my best, though reality is difficult for me; I'm made up of too much pixie dust and magic slices of rainbow.

I'll try my very hardest, for the sake of the good coffee.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 10, 2011, 01:06:36 AM
Stick around here for a while, I gots another piece of story coming up.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 10, 2011, 01:07:33 AM
I ain't going nowhere. Can I have sweets with the story?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 10, 2011, 01:11:29 AM
look under your pillow, the cavity fairy has left you a treat.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 10, 2011, 01:13:44 AM
Pick'n'mix from YumYums? Oh, you absolute wonder. I'm keeping you. Definitely.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 10, 2011, 01:23:28 AM
Yup. Now tis storytime as well.


Burning The Roast

By some magical contrivance, the left kitchen light’s evil plan to do good for its own amusement came to pass. It was Friday night at eight o’clock in House Ersatz and the table was set to be sat at while the people who were going to sit there were doing the sitting. Some sort of delicious meal was cooking in the oven, much to the oven’s delight because he never normally got to cook anything good since the kitchen was owned by a reclusive wanker.

“Perhaps,” mused Orion the Oven, “I should get a better gig than this one, a gig where my talents are really appreciated, but how? Aye, there’s the rub. How does a talented oven like me get the lucky break he needs when he can’t move from his spot in the kitchen under his own volition?”

“Stop soliloquizing, you idiot, you’ll burn the roast,” said Lefty.

“You’re not the boss of me,” replied Orion the Oven. He then thought a lot deep thoughts about how he was mistreated constantly but they were boring so I’ll skip ahead to him burning the roast. “Oh no,” he said, “I’m burning the roast.”

The roast was burnt, and Lefty really shouted at him, even though he couldn’t have done anything to save it since he was an oven and it’s never the oven’s fault.

“You moron,” said Lefty, it was the fiftieth in chronological order and the first printable insult of Lefty’s barrage, “I don’t know why he puts up with you.”

“Because I’m normally supervised by someone who can take the food out of me when it’s done.”

“Rorbit,” shout Lefty.

The chirpy robot entered the kitchen and did nothing to help the situation. “If I could smell things I would say that the roast is burning.”

“Hurry up and take the bloody roast out before it burns,” said Lefty and then he remembered that the stupid robot couldn’t hear a damn word he was saying.

“I need to lay the table and pick a nice wine, getting wine dum da dee dum dum,” said Rorbit.

“Have sex with the table later,” shouted Lefty but it was no use. There was only one hope for the survival of this bizarre family of misanthropic inanimate objects. “Hey Slowmoe,” Lefty called out.

The slow machine was slow to respond because it was slow. It slowly started running its motor, and the screen began to lighten into the image that was currently the image that was supposed to be on the screen when you turn it on.

“Hurry up or we’re all going to die,” Lefty shouted.

“Okay, okay,” said Slowmoe, much quicker than he’d ever said anything else before. “Hey Rorbit.”

The little robot disregarded him entirely, Slowmoe began to think that Rorbit could hear them but chose to ignore them because he was a bad robot.

However, Rorbit noticed that Slowmoe’s screen was on and that that meant that Lefty had some sort of message to convey.

Slowmoe decided to humour the little guy and posted Lefty’s message.

SLOWMOE: Lefty says that you can have sex with the table later. You have to take the roast out of the oven.

“I’m on it, boss,” said Rorbit. He had started to like Slowmoe since he was the only one he could communicate with properly. So he went into the kitchen and took the roast out of Orion the Oven but it was too late. The roast was practically cremated.

“Oh no,” said Rorbit, “what’ll we do now? They’ll be here any minute.”
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 10, 2011, 01:26:48 AM
I love these stories. Methinks I should get one every night morning, before I go to sleep.

I want to be Orion when I grow up.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 10, 2011, 01:31:48 AM
I know exactly what we need...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wN7x4DlfuCY&feature=related

now you'll think I've written one of these every day whether I have or not.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 10, 2011, 01:33:23 AM
That's a cunningly devious plan. I'm very impressed and in favour of it... ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 10, 2011, 01:41:25 AM
Perfect... although I feel I should get extra super bonus points for writing two rather long bits of story. Seriously, I wrote a soliloquy. That's gotta be worth something.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 10, 2011, 01:44:17 AM
Don't worry, when I've been into the garden and left some treacle coated paper in the shrine for the magic story elf, hid in a tree/bed for three hours or so, he should leave a story on the doorstep for me.

I'll dedicate it to you and fill it with wonderment.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 10, 2011, 01:58:50 AM
Then that's exactly what you should do.

in the meantime...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WI5ZRNi4i0
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 10, 2011, 02:00:56 AM
Okay then, so here are three super extra bonus points for the time being. Now I'm going to go sleepybyes.

Your story will be completed and gold plated by eventide.

Na'nightlymorningness Ollie.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 10, 2011, 02:10:49 AM
I'm goiing to go sleep aswell.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 10, 2011, 02:12:49 AM
Good. We're nocturnal children of the nightly nightness.

The light really is hurting my eyes now. I'm off to my cave for actual realness.

Computer, turn off.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 10, 2011, 02:23:34 AM
Yeah!
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 10, 2011, 05:06:33 AM
"Bones, some decent toast and a dish of raw mushrooms, please."

I see the children of the night have been busy whilst I was kipping.  They definitely work best without supervision ;-)

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 11, 2011, 06:51:25 AM
Day Two of the investigation ends on this chilling notion...

         The Clumsy Crusaders – Part 6

I went to the window to see if he was alright. Luckily, he’d fallen on top of a master criminal. He shouted up to me, “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, throw down the handcuffs. They’re in my desk drawer.”

That’s exactly what I did. After he had hand cuffed the criminal, Sprocket telephoned the police and they came around to pick up the present we left for them.

“What an amazing coincidence,” said Sprocket.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I went to school with that guy,” he replied.

“Really, that is a coincidence.” I told him.

“Oh,” he said, “he’s also our main suspect in the Goatee robbery.”

I was shocked beyond shockability. “That was He-Man Badger III?”

“That’s right,” said Sprocket, “fancy running into him at this time of night. Small world.”

“Let’s go question him now,” I said.

“Tomorrow, I promise,” he replied.

This meant that another day of investigatingness was done and over with. “What shall we do now?” I asked.

“I’m going to get something to eat at the bar,” he said.

“I’ll go too,” I said.

He became thoughtful for a moment before responding. “That may not be the best idea.”

“Why not?”

“I believe the folk of the bar are attempting to do something called setting us up,” he answered.

“Why?” I asked.

“Perhaps the amount of damage we do to this town amuses them. If you times that by heated arguments about things that are your problem yet somehow still my fault and by the horrifying notion of me being wrong about everything instead of right, you get a serious amount of destruction.”

On that insane ramble, the second day of investigation ended.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 24, 2011, 11:08:41 AM
If she comes back and we haven't kept this page up, she'll be mad.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 24, 2011, 12:40:24 PM
You mean our Little One isn't mad already?

Oh, you mean furious/angry/pissed off/incandescent?  or worse still disappointed.   We can't have that happening to our little buddy, can we?  Not unless we've turned into callous unfeeling brutes overnight.  [Checks for signs of brutishness and insensitivity to pain.]

"Ouch!"  Feels like I'm still me.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 24, 2011, 02:16:33 PM
Sure, we can't have her getting mad but I'm more worried about her being mad at me.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 24, 2011, 03:00:53 PM
So you're driven by self preservation and a morbid fear of being tied up with liquorice bootlaces and then flogged with strawberry whips? Fair enough.  I'd be cacking myself too under those circumstances ;-)

I hope our little verbal sparring partner is okay...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Amanda George on July 24, 2011, 03:16:32 PM
I come bearing a chocolate chunk muffin if I'm allowed to join in the conversation?  I didn't bake it so it's not burnt or poisonous but there is only one left... I scoffed the other three for tea!    :o
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 26, 2011, 08:54:40 AM
Amanda, this thread needs all the people it can get.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on July 26, 2011, 09:39:45 AM
Im definatly not "normal"   ;) I hate sheeple (people who blindly follow others) Ive always considered my 'Self' as a ROGUE!! I have my own agenda ;D Does this make me sound like an asshole?? I DON'T CARE!!. I'm actually an easy going guy, yet most people think I'm quiet due to shyness. I don't waste time talking, I prefer to observe the whole picture ( A picture,remember,is worth a thousand words!!)

-Maybe thats why I'm not a good Christian  :-\
hmm on  a side note I should use this as my quote!

Peace out y'all
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 26, 2011, 09:42:36 AM
Heck, if a picture is worth a thousand words, then a twenty two page comic is worth about the same as a four hundred page novel.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on July 26, 2011, 09:46:43 AM
 :D :D Managa (japanese comics)  :D :D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 26, 2011, 09:52:42 AM
What you've really got to remember, and I was going to say this the next time someone started a description thread, is that a close up shot of a cup of coffee and a midshot of a guy doing paperwork with a cup of coffee next to him are worth the same number words, but in the close up more words are about coffee.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Amanda George on July 26, 2011, 10:10:43 AM
Amanda, this thread needs all the people it can get.

Count me in then!  :D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on July 26, 2011, 10:49:03 AM
Yay! Welcome to the madhouse :D

MWC should have an lol emoticon
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Amanda George on July 26, 2011, 12:16:39 PM
Thank you Frank!  I've got waaay too much free time on my hands!  lol
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on July 26, 2011, 12:18:03 PM
do you?? I was so bored that I photoshoped  my face onto a male models body :)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 26, 2011, 12:25:27 PM
But where on their body?  The location is the true measure of boredom ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on July 26, 2011, 12:29:23 PM
Just the head mind you ;D I'm perfectly happy with my junior  ;) ;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Amanda George on July 26, 2011, 12:37:14 PM
I spent today munching on dry chocolate cereal - box to hand to mouth to stomach - and writing a bit more of Speckles with the occasional twinge of guilt over Toni and pondering about what I should title the next 2 books!  lol
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 28, 2011, 08:14:56 AM
I tried to think
of a creative way to
bump this thread
without anyone
noticing.

I failed. So,
I'll just put in
some lines breaks
and call it
poetry.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 28, 2011, 08:46:59 AM
Keeping the door open for the Little One.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Amanda George on July 28, 2011, 09:45:42 AM
Thank you Ollie and Gyppo for bumping this thread up to the first page again... I had a dream that I'd imagined this thread and the whole of MWC last night/this morning so it was a relief to see that it was just a dream!  lol
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 28, 2011, 09:55:43 AM
We didn't really.  In fact neither of us exist.  We are all figments of your imagination ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Amanda George on July 28, 2011, 10:27:13 AM
You are very helpful figments then!  lol  I wish Mitzi would stop kicking me in her sleep though... that's not my imagination!   :o
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 28, 2011, 10:45:09 AM
Thanks for holding the door open with line breaks, I promise not to tie you up with bootlaces.

Home.

*BW slides inelegantly into the door frame of the TMFTT and rocks gently back and forth on the Persian rug, immersing herself quietly in the comfort of the place.*
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on July 28, 2011, 10:48:35 AM
Nice to see you, tiny sweet :D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 28, 2011, 10:50:11 AM
Welcome back, Little One.  Inelegant or not, we've missed you.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 28, 2011, 10:51:41 AM
I'm going to pretend it's after five and head to the bar. I expect an entourage.

Oh yes, and I'm paying... ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 28, 2011, 10:56:32 AM
An entourage?  Probably more like a damned tsunami once people realise you're paying.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 28, 2011, 10:59:07 AM
So long as they're loud and happy. And that at some point it all mellows out and the few remaining drunken souls have deep and meaningfully nonsensical conversations.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Amanda George on July 28, 2011, 11:00:27 AM
I'm going to pretend it's after five and head to the bar. I expect an entourage.

Oh yes, and I'm paying... ::)

I'm on my way over to the bar now!  lol  Care to share why you have those names for each other and how do I get one please?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 28, 2011, 11:11:02 AM
I have many names... some call me BW, some call me Insomnio, others call me Ballignahafrey. Some may call me badger, some call me Cillit Bang, others know me as Fred, or Emily.

I'm just short and I like sweeties... ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 28, 2011, 11:56:52 AM
Some call her Crackhopper, and some call her Broken Wings, and I call her Lemon Fizzball. I have no idea how you collect names. It just sort of happens.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 28, 2011, 12:03:47 PM
Hey you.

How's tricks?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 28, 2011, 12:07:26 PM
He's fine, how's Gizmo?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 28, 2011, 12:09:24 PM
Desperate for attention, but still mewling about the fact that I forgot to get his pipe polished at the tobacconists.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 28, 2011, 12:23:28 PM
I was gonna ask if he still smoked that thing. Still got the top hat?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 28, 2011, 12:30:12 PM
Yes, but it's a bit torn and the hatter is always busy on a Thursday.

What've you been up to then Raspberry Liquorice Log? I daresay my left shoe missed you a tad while I was galavanting around the Land of Eng.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 28, 2011, 12:45:24 PM
I've been waiting for you, silly.

Which bit of Land's Eng did you go to?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 28, 2011, 12:49:40 PM
I daresay my left shoe missed you a tad while I was galavanting around the Land of Eng.

So, were you 'vanting just for the hell of it?  Or for some Brooding Writerly Porpoise purpose?

There's something for you to draw in an idle moment, a BWP.

It's true, Ollie has been patiently and loyally guarding the unfinished scrolls of Sprockett & Frog.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 28, 2011, 12:51:55 PM
I've been waiting for you, silly.

Which bit of Land's Eng did you go to?

Newark. It wasn't terribly 'vantable, but I met a cat called Sophie and we had afternoon tea and fed some peacocks.

It was the first time I'd met some family members, turns out I'm quite happy without the extension... ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 28, 2011, 12:56:21 PM
I just inadvertently landed on the first page of this thread.  I think we were all on something ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 28, 2011, 12:59:42 PM
We were on to something, weren't we. But I still haven't figured out why thatollie started this thread.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 28, 2011, 01:03:43 PM
Yes we did, don't you remember? You set up this thread with the intention of luring me in so you could one day ask about Gizmo.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 28, 2011, 01:14:10 PM
Of course, why didn't I see it before? How is he, anyway?

Also, do you know what coin they flipped in the old west?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 28, 2011, 01:28:12 PM
He's alright, but he did miss me. I've given him lots of attention, and I told him you were enquiring after him.

I haven't a clue, are we talking western, Butch Cassidy, horses and guns?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 28, 2011, 04:26:45 PM
If that's the case, we're talking silver dollars here, methinks.

I didn't realise how much an eight hour car journey takes out of you. I may be off to bed soon. Party tomorra?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 28, 2011, 05:34:13 PM
Now you know why this poor old man was shattered for a couple of days after our lightning visit to Scotland last month.

Party tomorrow, unless it's too damned hot.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Amanda George on July 29, 2011, 06:28:08 AM
Today is tomorrow's yesterday, Gyppo!  :P
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 29, 2011, 09:01:34 AM
And in a hundred years time none of it will matter ;-)

So live for today, even if today is yesterday's tomorrow, and tomorrow's yesterday.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Amanda George on July 29, 2011, 11:25:02 AM
And in a hundred years time none of it will matter ;-)

So live for today, even if today is yesterday's tomorrow, and tomorrow's yesterday.

Gyppo

This has me confuzzled now!  lol  I think I've got my head around it but the more I try and work it out just means I get confused quicker!  lol  Did that sentence even make sense?  lol
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 29, 2011, 01:56:45 PM
I can't party right now. Maybe later.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 29, 2011, 07:57:06 PM
Later, maybe tomorrow...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaT86mk9gj8
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 29, 2011, 07:58:20 PM
I like that song, bit I still think you should stay a while, have a drink and all.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 29, 2011, 08:03:48 PM
I won't be at my best. Don't you deserve my best?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 29, 2011, 08:04:28 PM
Why, yes, of course, but I love your worst just as much.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 29, 2011, 08:05:50 PM
Yeah, but that's because you're really supportive.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 29, 2011, 08:07:10 PM
Keep saying nice things about me and I'll be incrediblosilynessifyingly sweet for at least two hours.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 29, 2011, 08:08:46 PM
Doesn't count, you're always incredibloosilly sweet in my sleep.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 29, 2011, 08:09:37 PM
If you stay I'll be sweeter than sweet. Either that or I'll handcuff you to the thread.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 29, 2011, 08:14:01 PM
I've slept sitting up before, do your worstediest.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 29, 2011, 08:15:32 PM
I'm fluttering my eyelashes and pouring you a nebula as we speak... ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 29, 2011, 08:19:56 PM
Yum, I think that may be a bad plan. I'm getting really sleepy.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 29, 2011, 08:21:18 PM
I will start tempting you with bagels and Marmite marmalade.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 29, 2011, 08:22:00 PM
Handcuffed to the thread...  Poor Ollie.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 29, 2011, 08:22:38 PM
I know, I'm so cruel... ;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on July 29, 2011, 08:28:34 PM
I  Know this is off topic but....

I DONT OWE ANY $ to the FUCKIN cell phone provider anymore YAAY!!!!!!!

lol had 2 get that off my chest  ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 29, 2011, 08:33:40 PM
That sort of thing is always worth celebrating ;-)

I had my credit card bill today, and it said "Your remaining balance is sod all."  Well, it used slightly more formal language, but the meaning was the same.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on July 29, 2011, 08:37:20 PM
That sort of thing is always worth celebrating ;-)

I had my credit card bill today, and it said "Your remaining balance is sod all."  Well, it used slightly more formal language, but the meaning was the same.

I  would like a credit card but I don't want to live in 'debt' as it is my only monthly bills are
food
Tobacco
cell phone
Rent
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 29, 2011, 08:41:09 PM
I only have one for online purchases and similar.  Even there it is gradually being phased out by a debit card.  That I really like, because it won't let me spend money I don't have.  Nearly as good as paying cash, but not as satisfying as peeling notes off a roll.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 07:41:33 AM
I actually have some money. That's so awesome.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 30, 2011, 08:10:26 AM
Don't tell everyone, they'll all want some.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 08:13:44 AM
Well, there's not enough of mine to go around. I'm still poor, but I'm just a tiny amount less poor. I still want to buy a brand new book. The one I wanted has a new release date (next year), I don't know what to do.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Amanda George on July 30, 2011, 08:28:51 AM
Well, there's not enough of mine to go around. I'm still poor, but I'm just a tiny amount less poor. I still want to buy a brand new book. The one I wanted has a new release date (next year), I don't know what to do.

You could maybe put it towards a Christmas/Yule pressie for yourself?  Just a thought  :)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 08:48:02 AM
It won't last until December.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Amanda George on July 30, 2011, 09:11:56 AM
It won't last until December.

I know that feeling only too well  :(  How about going to your local pub for a while?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 01:17:13 PM
I have my heart set on a brand new book. I've made a shortlist.

http://www.amazon.com/Steampunk-Ann-VanderMeer/dp/1892391759
The Steampunk Anthology - Ann & Jeff VanderMeer

http://www.amazon.com/Lifecycle-Software-Objects-Ted-Chiang/dp/1596063173/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1312045647&sr=1-3
The Lifecycle of Software Objects - Ted Chiang

http://www.amazon.com/Embassytown-China-Mieville/dp/0345524497/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1312045683&sr=1-1
Embassytown - China Mieville

http://www.amazon.com/City-Dreams-Nightmare-Hundred-Rows/dp/0857660497/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1312045724&sr=1-4
City of Dreams and Nightmares - Ian Whates

http://www.amazon.com/Second-Book-Lankhmar-Fantasy-Masterworks/dp/0575073586/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1312046018&sr=1-1
The Second Book of Lankhmar - Fritz Leiber
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 03:37:55 PM
I have money too. I had £6 last month, but now I seem to have lots and lots. This is wonderful, so I bought myself a film and my own copy of 'Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?'.

Nemoo is happy face.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 04:07:51 PM
so I bought myself  my own copy of 'Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?'.

It's about time.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 04:17:48 PM
I know, it's shameful.

I'd borrowed it from the bibliotheque, but now I have my very own.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 04:20:05 PM
I really need a newer copy. Mine has the person who owned it before's nasty highlighting on it. They were so wrong about the themes. It's shameful.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 04:22:42 PM
Ick. I don't like people who highlight incorrectly, but then, I hate highlighters.

Gimme a quill and ink any day. Or just a pencil.

Pencils are nice.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 04:47:42 PM
Like they couldn't have photocopied.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 04:53:47 PM
Ahem.

I don't even know how to work a photocopier.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 05:02:31 PM
You're different...

I mean, I don't know how to use one either...

Erm, *Jedi Mind Trick* It's not worth my (you're) time getting angry at you (me).

Time to change the subject...

http://www.cad-comic.com/cad/20040202
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 05:11:43 PM
There is only one path to the rubber band...

My jedi mind is laughtering.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 05:22:34 PM
*Innocent Whistling*

"I was so designed to distract people"

http://www.cad-comic.com/cad/20030505
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 05:26:15 PM
Behold. The anatomy of a bad pun.

I'm in love with it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 05:32:27 PM
Read the bits between the crazy chef guy.. it's got a really positive message (Pretty girls can be nerds too).
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 05:54:54 PM
Nerdy nerdy nerdness.

I likes it muchly.

Guess what I bought today?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 05:59:19 PM
I'm going to guess at a copy of Do Andriods Dream Of Electric Sheep.

In other news...
http://www.cad-comic.com/cad/20040515
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 06:04:06 PM
Apart from that, silly.

You have three guesses and one clue.

The clue is Sci-Fi.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 06:13:52 PM
Blade Runner on Blu Ray or DVD...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 06:17:44 PM
Nope.

Guess number two.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 06:21:00 PM
The Doctor Who Movie
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 06:22:04 PM
You're so close with Doctor Who, which would have been your next clue.

Come on, Ollie, you can get this.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 06:24:57 PM
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 06:26:53 PM
No, silly, I already have that.

I bought a TARDIS. You can play games on it and all sorts.

The down button doesn't work though, so I keep getting killed in the time vortex.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 06:34:26 PM
Okay, but now I want Blade Runner on Blu Ray...

Why do I do this to myself?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 06:35:36 PM
Because you're wonderfully wonderful?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 06:41:28 PM
Oh god, he did three of them in a row...
http://www.cad-comic.com/cad/20040920
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 06:43:25 PM
Begone. This is not for your brains.

 ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 06:54:23 PM
 ;D

If I hadn't poisoned my brain, I'd probably write something. My eyes hurt.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 07:10:21 PM
I'll write you something tomorrow while the cakes are burning in the oven.

I'm watching comedy. My ribs hurt.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 07:18:33 PM
I am probably dead.

http://www.cad-comic.com/cad/20050216
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 07:19:53 PM
Being dead is not an option, I'm afraid.

Being Oliver is though.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 07:31:49 PM
I shall try to be Oliver.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 07:32:32 PM
And I shall try to be Emily.

We'll manage, somehow.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 07:40:14 PM
We always do.

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 07:41:39 PM
But of course.

Would you like K-9 to bring in some drinks from the bar?

I just rescued him from the Sontaran.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 08:48:25 PM
Would he? I'm surprised you haven't had him doing that for years.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 09:05:07 PM
I only just rescued him today.

Phew. I accidentally pried my spacebar off but now it's fixed.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 09:13:22 PM
Goodo, we like spaces between words.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 09:14:14 PM
Yesindeedwedo.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on July 30, 2011, 09:16:24 PM
lolremindsmeofthefirsttimeItextextedafriendIhadnoIdeahowtospacethewordslol
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 09:27:48 PM
I believe auto-pilot has been engaged. I'm ignoring fleshy thoughts like "I need sleep" and "Oh Christ, I need to stand up."

Primary Function: To entertain. Failed
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 09:28:46 PM
Primary Function: Take BW's mind off the injury.

Success.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on July 30, 2011, 09:31:57 PM
Primary Function: Take BW's mind off the injury.

Success.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxN_00B_NMI&feature=BFa&list=PL419C68429AAC4C93&index=65&shuffle=538923 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxN_00B_NMI&feature=BFa&list=PL419C68429AAC4C93&index=65&shuffle=538923)

just sit down and listen to the song lol
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 09:34:19 PM
After about twenty seconds of that, my brain was doing somersaults... ::)

I think some James Yorkston would soothe my mind.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on July 30, 2011, 09:36:08 PM
maybe thats why I'm SO FUCKIN HYPER (plus the caffeine) lol :o :o
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 09:39:26 PM
Einaudi, Einaudi.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 09:41:37 PM
Einaudi, Einaudi.

Agreed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8zXLQCx5gw&feature=fvst
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on July 30, 2011, 09:43:29 PM
Agreed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8zXLQCx5gw&feature=fvst

hey thats great music(soooo peaceful)

thanks for sharing
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 09:45:26 PM
Agreed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8zXLQCx5gw&feature=fvst

You did it again, Sprocket.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 09:46:26 PM
You did it again, Sprocket.

I always do. But I feel guilty for not writing a story.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on July 30, 2011, 09:46:45 PM
well even tho I love trance music I enjoy other genres
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 09:47:54 PM
I always do. But I feel guilty for not writing a story.

Don't. It's my turn anyway. I owe you dozens.

Einaudi is the one I always go back to.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 09:48:42 PM
Yeah, it's almost a shame I was born to rock and roll.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 09:51:02 PM
Rock and roll has it's place on a pedestal on my heart. As does punk.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 09:53:51 PM
And we shouldn't forget The Blues.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 09:54:53 PM
Definitely, and Jazz.

I like a bit of Jazz.

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 09:57:36 PM
I may have to rename this thread something like The "Post awesomeness and then pass out" Thread.

I love Jazz.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 09:59:36 PM
Jazz, Einaudi and Blues?

I may need to pass out for a few seconds to take in the perfection.

Truly, we are Sprocket and Frogg.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 10:04:56 PM
I don't think anyone else has the specialist skills of being here way too much to be anything like them. Even Sio, who is here more than we are, avoids this thread out of jealousy or something.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 10:09:48 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQaFxPeI1Vg&feature=autoplay&list=LLAkBuOnxaAec&index=5&playnext=1
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Don on July 30, 2011, 10:18:30 PM
Sprocket and Frogg have become an institution in a very short period of time. You guys need a theme song. People should offer suggestions.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2wutEzjy_E
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 10:25:07 PM
I like this line of speculation. I want to be the lead scriptwriter on a BBC produced Sprocket and Frogg Cartoon. My turn...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 10:29:12 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnH9NreW95Y
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 30, 2011, 10:34:32 PM
We'll be on the BBC? I like that idea.

Keep working on that theme tune guys, I'm off to get some sleep.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 30, 2011, 10:37:11 PM
I requires sleep as well.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 31, 2011, 12:08:50 AM
'You have feet in your shoes'.  You know where your bed is.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 31, 2011, 09:33:45 AM
I'd argue about the brains in my head though.

We need Gyppo to post a possible theme song for us.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 31, 2011, 10:05:13 AM
Yes, we do.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 31, 2011, 10:09:16 AM
It's like you could hear that I was here all the way from reality.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 31, 2011, 10:10:58 AM
I could. I'm gifted that way.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 31, 2011, 10:12:41 AM
I believe we may have some freaky empath thing going on.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 31, 2011, 10:14:00 AM
Definitely.

Kettle's boiled, would you care for some tea and chocolate brioche?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 31, 2011, 10:14:44 AM
How about coffee and chocolate brioche?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 31, 2011, 10:18:54 AM
I can do that too.

I'm afraid I don't have one of those coffee percolifyingthingamabobs. Just a teaspoon and a jar of espresso.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 31, 2011, 10:45:40 AM
I love instant espresso. Especially made like a normal coffee.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 31, 2011, 10:46:42 AM
I'm glad. I thought you might be a coffee connoisseur and tell me off.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 31, 2011, 10:59:23 AM
We need Gyppo to post a possible theme song for us.

Why is it always down to me?

With all of our Emily's spare personas you could use the theme from the magnificent Seven.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iteRKvRKFA

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on July 31, 2011, 11:01:34 AM
I'm glad. I thought you might be a coffee connoisseur and tell me off.

I only drink Organic "fairly traded" Coffee from Peru lol, It's not really expensive($2.35 X-large) I decided to switch after Tim Hortons raised their prices again  >:(
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 31, 2011, 11:03:21 AM
Why is it always down to me?

With all of our Emily's spare personas you could use the theme from the magnificent Seven.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iteRKvRKFA

Gyppo

Because you always get it so right.

I love it.

Ollie? Please can we have this one? Please? Pwetty Pwease?

I still think tea is best though.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on July 31, 2011, 11:05:27 AM
Because you always get it so right.

I love it.

Ollie? Please can we have this one? Please? Pwetty Pwease?

I still think tea is best though.

I love mushroom tea  ;) ;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 31, 2011, 11:23:22 AM
Because you always get it so right.

I love it.

Like an assassin, I aim to please ;-)

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 31, 2011, 11:26:22 AM
Because you always get it so right.

I love it.

Ollie? Please can we have this one? Please? Pwetty Pwease?

I still think tea is best though.

Oh man, it's so epic. We have to have this. Right, now that that's sorted, I have to go make some contacts at The Beeb.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 31, 2011, 11:27:48 AM
Yay!

Take Gyppo with you, he'll either help charm them or assassinate them. Either would do... ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 31, 2011, 11:50:36 AM
Dear Sir.

May I strongly urge you, as the newly apponted Programme Director, to seriously reconsider your predecessors decision not to commision a series of Sprockett & Frogg, the new and dynamic detective duo, who raise dumpster diving and sherlockian logic to dizzying heights of imagination and incredulity.

You may feel that his subsequent untimely demise, falling on a microphone stand and being riven from anus to cranium was entrely coincidental, but are you prepared to take the risk.

Anon
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 31, 2011, 11:53:02 AM
Like I don't have my own skills.
http://www.cad-comic.com/cad/20060414
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 31, 2011, 11:57:16 AM
Would it make any difference to PH if you killed her.  She's not exactly animated anyway.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 31, 2011, 12:17:58 PM
I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 31, 2011, 12:32:08 PM
Multi-task, Man.  Multi-task.  Don't let the women think they are the only ones with this skill.  We can always fall back on being mono-task morons when it suits us ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 31, 2011, 12:40:02 PM
Ah, but they have memories.... Girl Memories, if I act competently, they're going to remember it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 31, 2011, 12:40:47 PM
You got that right.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 31, 2011, 01:21:33 PM
Well of course I'm right... we're not married.

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 31, 2011, 01:29:46 PM
Is marriage when it shifts to me being right for once then?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 31, 2011, 01:34:02 PM
Once?  That sounds about right ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 31, 2011, 01:36:28 PM
Oh, hush.

Men, honestly... ;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 31, 2011, 01:38:28 PM
I believe it's in the pre-nup, you get half of my brains. As if you didn't totally own them already.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 31, 2011, 01:40:45 PM
What do you get? Cause I need all of my brains for coordination. Even then, one of them wanders of daydreaming and leaves the others to fail at regaining balance.

You could always get all the Roygbiv stories I ever write dedicated to you.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 31, 2011, 01:53:22 PM
Like you don't already dedicate everything to me?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 31, 2011, 01:56:27 PM
Ollie gets to keep half his brain.  The question is, does that half contain the 10% he normally uses for everyday living, or is he just left with an undirected subconscious?  Actually, that's quite a scary thought.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 31, 2011, 02:01:46 PM
That would be so cool, I'd be like a ghost... but without actually doing anything.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 31, 2011, 02:03:16 PM
It's certainly a bizarre concept.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 31, 2011, 02:28:06 PM
I would use an acronym to expres my feelings but.... well, y'know...
http://www.cad-comic.com/cad/20070407
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 31, 2011, 02:37:43 PM
I love the way this thread goes, and yes, everything is dedicated to you. It's in the small print of everything I write.

This post is dedicated to Oliver, obviously.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on July 31, 2011, 02:39:03 PM
of course the world revovles  around Ollie  ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 31, 2011, 02:49:05 PM
of course the world revovles  around Ollie  ::)

Now you're getting the idea.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 31, 2011, 03:18:14 PM
BW flops down, near death, clutching at the thread with all her might.

I now intend to pass out. Yell at me when the egg timer rings.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 31, 2011, 03:23:16 PM
I don't know when that is.

(That was so damn philosophical)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 31, 2011, 03:34:39 PM
In five minutes...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 31, 2011, 03:36:31 PM
but that's almost now.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 31, 2011, 03:46:26 PM
They're out.

The top one decided it wanted to be honeycomb.

Well, I beat up a Crunchie bar with a rolling pin and poured it in. Same difference.

Now I really need a drink and a lie down afore icing them. Where's that sofa gone?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 31, 2011, 07:42:26 PM
My brother sold it to some crack addicts.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 31, 2011, 07:43:51 PM
Again? Goodness.

What did he get for it?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 31, 2011, 08:02:29 PM
I think he got a ball of twine and half a cup of sugar.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 31, 2011, 08:08:00 PM
Are you sure it's sugar?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 31, 2011, 08:09:31 PM
Are you sure it's sugar?

I flaming well hope it was. I used that half cup in the top cake.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 31, 2011, 08:11:05 PM
It's not leaning, it's bloody stoned ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 31, 2011, 08:12:34 PM
I knew it. Damned thing.

Hang on... Ollie? Did you just eat the top part of that cake at high speed then innocently sprawl out on the floor where the sofa used to be?

Honestly.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on July 31, 2011, 08:13:51 PM
Ollie couldn't do that!
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 31, 2011, 08:16:31 PM
zzz, oh couldn't he? zzz...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on July 31, 2011, 08:17:28 PM
Whooops! I stand corrected.

Ollie . . . OLLIE!
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 31, 2011, 08:19:31 PM
Wake up this instant, else I'll sing in your ear.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on July 31, 2011, 08:27:21 PM
Ah, correspondence. The kittens of my soul are pleased.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 31, 2011, 08:29:51 PM
You're a strange one, Sprocket, always making me smile with nonsense.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on July 31, 2011, 08:30:34 PM
Q:  How do recognise a real hardcore stoner?

A:  He sells his car to raise petrol money.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on July 31, 2011, 08:56:53 PM
I'm blaming my tiredness for my delay in getting it... ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on August 01, 2011, 01:02:54 PM
I'm blaming my tiredness for my delay in getting it... ::)

I didn't get either lol
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 02, 2011, 03:12:50 PM
I thought that punchline went something like this...

A: He sells his car to buy a bicycle or some hippy crap like that.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 02, 2011, 03:26:51 PM
That would be logical, but not funny
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 02, 2011, 03:31:38 PM
Sometimes logic is funny.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 02, 2011, 04:01:22 PM
Oh god, I can hear her screaming all the way from Reality and not real Reality... Welsh Reality... I shouldn't be able to hear from Welsh Reality, I've denied it's existence for years...
http://www.cad-comic.com/cad/20100702
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 02, 2011, 04:12:17 PM
You should never let your guard down where the Welsh are concerned ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 02, 2011, 04:14:44 PM
You should never let your guard down where the Welsh are concerned ;-)

Yeah, but admit it, that was a great rant.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 02, 2011, 04:18:27 PM
Damn right.  Good artwork too.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 02, 2011, 05:06:28 PM
That's exactly what we need in the thread for her to find when she gets here. Great artwork... it's such a simple solution. We need Bruce Pennington.
http://www.isfdb.org/wiki/images/1/17/THWRLDFNLB1974.jpg
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 02, 2011, 07:25:14 PM
 :)

I'm ar too drink to od anyhing other thatn slimte.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on August 03, 2011, 07:57:41 AM
I think your slimte is cute :)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 03, 2011, 08:12:29 AM
Oh blimey.

Ahem.

Oh god, I can hear her screaming all the way from Reality and not real Reality... Welsh Reality... I shouldn't be able to hear from Welsh Reality, I've denied it's existence for years...
http://www.cad-comic.com/cad/20100702

::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 03, 2011, 09:11:39 AM
Oh my, oh my, oh my.

I have no one else to tell so I'll say it here.

I just (with the help of Sarah Jane and K-9) defeated the Krillitane race, narrowly avoided a nasty encounter with the Sycorax and rescued Captain Jack.

I would make such a good doctor.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on August 03, 2011, 09:12:50 AM
Crikey -- that's a lot of stuff!  :o  I'm sure you're exhausted. :D

What's up doc? ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 03, 2011, 09:14:47 AM
I am, truly. Slotting those damn puzzle things together with the down button on the blink was harder than anything The Doctor has ever had to do.

Would you like a Jelly Baby?

;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on August 03, 2011, 09:39:21 AM
yes please :D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 03, 2011, 11:22:26 AM
Do you have to go with a jelly man first to get a jelly baby.

Or is it some kind of Immaculate Confection ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Andrewf on August 03, 2011, 11:25:40 AM
That's exactly what we need in the thread for her to find when she gets here. Great artwork... it's such a simple solution. We need Bruce Pennington.
http://www.isfdb.org/wiki/images/1/17/THWRLDFNLB1974.jpg

Now that's a good book  :D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on August 03, 2011, 12:17:15 PM
I've never heard of Bruce Pennington  ??? ??? ???
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 03, 2011, 09:24:52 PM
I've never heard of Bruce Pennington  ??? ??? ???

You don't need to have heard of Bruce Pennington, you just need to see his cover of The World of Null A and go, "ooooooooh, pretty." It convinced me to buy the book.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 03, 2011, 09:27:08 PM
Don't you dare hurt that monkey.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 03, 2011, 09:29:36 PM
Then you know what you have to do.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 03, 2011, 09:35:19 PM
I know, I know, I will later. I'm just so darned hot and tired.

I've been eating ice cubes all day, then it started raining so I thought I'd go stand in the rain, and it was bloody warm rain.

What happened to good, old fashioned, cold Welsh weather?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 03, 2011, 09:39:51 PM
It's because Wales is weird. As I've pointed out on numerous occasions.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 03, 2011, 09:41:08 PM
Yeah-huh... ::)

It's a good thing I'm not Welsh then.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 03, 2011, 09:44:56 PM
If I agree, will I be in trouble?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 03, 2011, 09:47:35 PM
Nope. A childhood of mockery for my accent gives me the right to cling to my birthright of true Englishness.

 
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 03, 2011, 09:51:55 PM
I'm still mocked for my accent... probably.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 03, 2011, 09:54:19 PM
I embrace the mockery by emphasising the amount of Englishish my accent managed to collect for the first four years of my little existence.

My sister was born in Wales and says 'here', 'year' and 'ear' in such a way that you can't distinguish one from the other in any way. It drives me up the wall.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 03, 2011, 10:13:10 PM
I have a perfect snooty British accent... and my telephone manner is exemplary.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 03, 2011, 10:18:19 PM
Perfect snooty British accent and an exemplary telephone manner? My heart just melted.

I'm terrible on the phone, my voice gets all small and quiet and I blush. It's ridiculous.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 03, 2011, 10:23:01 PM
Yes, I'm like Hugh Grant... except for the fact that I don't sleep with prostitutes.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 03, 2011, 10:26:49 PM
How can I resist? The telephone manner and you don't sleep with prostitutes? Hugh Grant? Perfect and snooty?

I have only two words.

Gretna Green.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 03, 2011, 10:33:07 PM
I only have three words...

I don't understand.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 03, 2011, 10:33:45 PM
And now I've googled it.  :o
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 03, 2011, 10:35:21 PM
Why does no one ever understand?

I've been obsessed with Gretna Green since I was about eight. It's so cool.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 03, 2011, 10:39:06 PM
It was more about the fact that most of the first links were about weddings.

Not that I couldn't totally see it. In fact, someone else saw it for me.
http://www.cad-comic.com/cad/20091204
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 03, 2011, 10:43:52 PM
Hee-hee.

I used to think it was just where you ran off to when you ran away from anywhere.

When I was eight or nine I packed a bag and decided to run away from home and go to Gretna Green. I didn't realise quite how far from Pembrokeshire it really was. I got to the end of the farm drive and sat there for a while, climbed some trees, ate my stolen food and waited for a sufficiently long enough time to punish my highly unfair parent. When I decided to come back I burst through the door, expecting police and weeping and repentance.

No one had even noticed I was gone.

I'll never forgive them.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 03, 2011, 10:47:02 PM
Consider the fact that It's equally as far away from where I am. Even more than that though, it even further for all the elderly relatives in my family.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 03, 2011, 10:52:16 PM
True, but it's also in Scotland.

I really want to go to Scotland. My aunt lives there, but I only met her the other week. I think if I turned up on her doorstep tomorrow she'd be a little bemused.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: claire237 on August 03, 2011, 10:53:27 PM
Just reading both of your posts (Frogg and Thatollie) makes me giggle [lightheartedly]. I was raised by very British parents in California, USA.... and maintained some of their accent for certain words into my first few years of preschool/kindergarden, and was teased by my fellow American students (wayyy up until now even by my bestest friends). For instance, saying may-oh-naise (mayonaise), ga-ridge (garage), and mir-rah (mirror). I’ve lost all of it now, at least by real British standards, but I am familiar with your “britishisms”-- the way you say things... and it makes me feel at home. (Currently all of my family is in England, alas I am still here because of school!)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: claire237 on August 03, 2011, 10:55:09 PM
I’ve been to Edinburgh, Scotland, and rode a little bus up and around to a little town or two. It’s very nice!
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 03, 2011, 10:59:00 PM
Just reading both of your posts (Frogg and Thatollie) makes me giggle [lightheartedly].

We aim to cause lighthearted giggling at all times, it's in our contract as the odd British younguns... ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 03, 2011, 11:00:10 PM
It's not in my contract, I get overtime.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 03, 2011, 11:01:17 PM
Shurrup and drink that nebula before K-9 has it himself.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 03, 2011, 11:02:38 PM
Yes Boss.

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: claire237 on August 03, 2011, 11:03:44 PM
Hmmm... I see. Well I am a British-American. Is 25 a youngin? I feel 30.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 03, 2011, 11:05:16 PM
You're older than me, which should mean that I'm cooler. (I'm probably not)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 03, 2011, 11:07:16 PM
Yes Boss.

Oh yes, Assistant Science Officer my arse... ;D

Hmmm... I see. Well I am a British-American. Is 25 a youngin? I feel 30.

Well, I think I'm one of the youngest, most times I feel older, but then sometimes I feel about six.

You're older than me, which should mean that I'm cooler. (I'm probably not)

And you're older than me, which means I'm definitely cooler.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: claire237 on August 03, 2011, 11:09:18 PM
Omg, am I... like.. Ancient!? How much older am I? Lol. I’m going to have to say that I am cooler, because it just comes with the territory... I shouldn’t even Have to say it! (Being older.)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 03, 2011, 11:12:47 PM
Don't forget that we're proper British. We're cooler.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 03, 2011, 11:13:38 PM
Don't forget that we're proper British. We're cooler.

I second this, eh, what?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 03, 2011, 11:13:49 PM
Oh yes, Assistant Science Officer my arse... ;D

I was just practicing.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 03, 2011, 11:14:47 PM
For when I take over the world?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 03, 2011, 11:16:58 PM
My world, anyway.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 03, 2011, 11:17:44 PM
Does that mean I get to boss you around and stuff?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 03, 2011, 11:18:06 PM
I think it's in the rules.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 03, 2011, 11:19:16 PM
Okay then. And will you be able to reach the high up shelves so I don't have to get chairs and fall over in the bar when Bones hides the rum?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 03, 2011, 11:24:56 PM
Yes, I have long arms.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 03, 2011, 11:25:58 PM
Perfect.

I've been thinking, I should probably file that case report soon, shouldn't I?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 03, 2011, 11:27:12 PM
I can't say that you're not right... but I have a sub to work on.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 03, 2011, 11:28:46 PM
I will do it. I'm doing lots of writing at the moment.

When I get published and sinfully rich, I'll buy Sprocket and Frogg an office/castle in Scotland.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 03, 2011, 11:31:19 PM
Will we have room for Paraguay?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 03, 2011, 11:33:38 PM
We'll have room for a couple of continents and oceans. It's going to be massive.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 03, 2011, 11:40:27 PM
Well then, if we've got oceans then we can have Atlantis. And we can visit it while listening to The Ocean by Led Zeppelin.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 03, 2011, 11:41:45 PM
D'you promise?

I always knew you knew where Atlantis was.

We won't tell anybody though, else the Queen'll try and nab it for her own.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 03, 2011, 11:46:23 PM
This could be called treason if it made sense.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 03, 2011, 11:47:37 PM
Sshhh. She'll never know.

Besides, being accused of treason is quite dashing and roguish.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 04, 2011, 05:46:56 AM
Besides, being accused of treason is quite dashing and roguish.

It's also one of the few things which still - theoretically - carries The Death Penalty.

"Executioner!  Why are you refusing to sever this treasonous wench's head from her body?"

"Because, your Majesty, she's already too short."

"I somehow doubt if that will trouble her after you have completed your duty."

"But there's the Health & Safety angle, Ma'am."

"Bloody H&S.  What do they have to do with it?"

"There's this little sticker on the block, Ma-am.  'This ride not approved for anyone under five feet in height'."

"Ride?  That's a traditional execution block, Man.  Soaked in blood and history.  Not some piece of modern frippery like the bloody roller coasters at Chessington, and all those other hideous places."

"Sorry, Ma'am, but the Bloody Tower and all the rest have been reclassified as entertainment these days, rather than Historical Monuments, so they come under the Theme Parks legislation."

"Damned Europeans."  Her Majesty pulls the executioner to one side and whispers in his ear.

"Do you still have the real axe, the non-safety sharp one, sans bloody safety sticker, which we use for the private executions?"

"Yes, Ma'am."   Snaps to attention.  "I check the edge every day, Ma'am.  A man has to take a pride in his trade."

"Excellent."  Smiles like a true Monarch.  I may have a little job for you.  Messrs Brown and Blair have both been commanded to the palace later today for a 'small private ceremony'.  5-30 PM.  Sharp!

"Yes, Ma'am!"

"Good man.  See you later."
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 04, 2011, 04:36:44 PM
Tee-hee.

Definitely the one time I wouldn't be standing on tiptoes.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 05, 2011, 08:42:15 PM
I have to change the subject.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 05, 2011, 09:26:12 PM
You did good, very subtle.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 06, 2011, 05:19:41 AM
Ollie knows how to do subtle.  The wings on the mallet were almost un-noticeable.  (Like the little wings on the snitch in Quidditch.)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 06, 2011, 03:47:00 PM
It got the job done, at least.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 06, 2011, 07:40:53 PM
It certainly did.  For a few seconds there you reminded me of Thor ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 06, 2011, 09:49:10 PM
Marvel Thor or proper Thor?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 07, 2011, 05:27:20 AM
Proper ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 07, 2011, 01:02:32 PM
Well, that's alright then. I was thinking about being offended.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 07, 2011, 04:02:11 PM
Q:  Would I risk offending a god who can cleave mountains with his hammer?

A:  Probably not just for the hell of it.  But if it was necessary...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 07, 2011, 10:28:08 PM
Mmm, but Marvel Thor isn't real.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on August 08, 2011, 11:51:15 AM
Whats up with all these CRAPPY 'comic book movies'  >:( >:( >:(
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 08, 2011, 11:52:00 AM
Simply put, they made a few that made money so they're making more.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on August 08, 2011, 11:53:58 AM
Simply put, they made a few that made money so they're making more.

Yea but but as of late most of them Suck
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 08, 2011, 11:57:53 AM
You say "as of late". Can that include 1997? Please?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 09, 2011, 11:46:50 PM
I just read this thread from April 2009 onwards.

There's a huge chunk of my life in here, it's like a horcrux.

Frogg checks the reception of all three brains and starts sending telepathic Morse code to Oliver.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 10, 2011, 04:29:33 AM
Three books by Colin Dexter promp[tly land on her head.  Not all Morse Code is the same.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 10, 2011, 10:35:40 PM
I just read this thread from April 2009 onwards.

There's a huge chunk of my life in here, it's like a horcrux.

Frogg checks the reception of all three brains and starts sending telepathic Morse code to Oliver.

Yes dear, we established that this thread was some sort of evil plot by past Oliver to steal people's life energy. Rememberist?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 10, 2011, 10:50:59 PM
Well since I read it last night, I believe I do remember.

However, I think evil is the wrong term.

Mischievous, perhaps.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 10, 2011, 10:52:38 PM
Yeah, I'm the damn trickster god.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 10, 2011, 10:53:54 PM
You keep telling yourself that, darlin'.

I made brownies earlier. They were delicious.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 10, 2011, 10:59:00 PM
Hmmpf, none for me?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 10, 2011, 11:02:48 PM
You can have my sisters one if you like.

Mind you, she's a thirteen year old girl. She'd hunt you down.

Ahem, for the purposes of the internet:

Why yes, I did. I saved us a whole batch. And a bottle of champagne, though that's just for show. Champagne is far too sweet.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 10, 2011, 11:04:37 PM
Oh man, I'd never get between a teenager girl and a brownie. I may be crazy but I'm not that crazy.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 10, 2011, 11:06:20 PM
You are wise beyond your years.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 10, 2011, 11:14:50 PM
In this, I am wise beyond anyone's years.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 10, 2011, 11:16:13 PM
Even Gandalf? :o
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 10, 2011, 11:18:38 PM
Would Gandalf get between your sister and a brownie?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 10, 2011, 11:20:05 PM
No, he'd just get Frodo to travel through the riots to his favourite bakery.

You are right, your wisdom surpasses all.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 10, 2011, 11:22:47 PM
Isn't that what LotR is all about anyway? I should know, I stopped rereading it tonight so I could talk to you.

Feeling special?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 10, 2011, 11:24:48 PM
Feeling special?

Oh, you've no idea.

I decided not to watch Yes Man when I saw you here. I've never seen it before but it has Zooey Deschanel in it.

You'd better be feeling special right now.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 10, 2011, 11:30:02 PM
Can I feel special because it's got Terence Stamp in it and you came to talk to me instead of him?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 10, 2011, 11:31:58 PM
Sure, even though Deschanel is cooler.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 10, 2011, 11:37:23 PM
Stamp is so cool that when the producers of Alfie tried to cast him, he told them to cast Michael Caine (who was his roommate) instead. That's supercool.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 10, 2011, 11:39:28 PM
Okay, that's pretty cool. Superdupercool.

According to this thread, I'm chalking up quite a list of things I owe you. Such as an essay on The Chaste Land by T.Hat Oliot.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 10, 2011, 11:45:52 PM
Let's not forget that I haven't finished writing the damn thing yet.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 10, 2011, 11:51:00 PM
Well the summer holidays end on my birthday, so you'd better hurry if you want an essay.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 10, 2011, 11:55:10 PM
I'll get right on it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 10, 2011, 11:56:43 PM
I'll start getting my essay muscles into gear. I'll have The Chaste Land, Oedipus and King Lear to work on soon.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 10, 2011, 11:58:41 PM
If it starts to sound Lord of the Ringsy, hit me very hard.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 11, 2011, 12:00:33 AM
Don't worry, I'll pummel you with my tiny ineffectual fists.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 11, 2011, 12:05:19 AM
Good good, I need smokeables. Back soon.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 11, 2011, 12:06:58 AM
I'm way ahead of you.

Don't be too long.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 11, 2011, 12:20:30 AM
I will also be popping out momentarily to write a line or two of the last section.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 11, 2011, 12:21:16 AM
Okay, but I gotta go to bed. See you tomorrow Ollie?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 11, 2011, 12:26:04 AM
Oh, are you not sure whether I will be Ollie tomorrow. I am not sure either but it seems likely.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 11, 2011, 12:27:06 AM
I bloody well hope so. If you weren't, I'd have to pummel you again.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 11, 2011, 12:29:28 AM
Don't worry, I'm getting all SF on Eliot's behind. no hobbits, bar the writer.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 11, 2011, 12:31:51 AM
I'm glad.

Night night Oliver Sprocket Wonderhead.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 11, 2011, 12:32:29 AM
Sleep tight, don't let A.E. Van Vogt bite.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 11, 2011, 02:57:31 AM
What Iain M. Banks said

Do androids dream of electric sheep?
I wonder. After the working day is done,
do androids just wanna have fun?
After tilling the fields for lazy
human masters,
the shouting and crying bioillogical specimens.
and then shoved in a cupboard
to wait for another day.
It who lived without living,
do they see the dance of the
uncle sam humanoids?
or is it just a calculation
and a simulation?
Sorry old man but that’s just the way that it is.
Don’t bother none.

If there was water
on Mars,
water for elephants,
A dream of spring,
the ambiente hotel,
where the hermit sings in a pine tree
colliding A.E. Van Vogt with all kinds of stuff.
but where is the third way?
When I count, I count you and I together,
getting a five fingered discount in Mother London.
But when I look along the M25, I see no end
only a lot of new beginnings.
Maybe there’s a parallel dimension,
wrapt in a brown mantle,
but where is the other side of you?

What is that sound high in the air?
fast, rocket powered, glamorous,
gorgeous ray guns painting the air
with colour as they phased, disrupted,
lasered, blasted or defleshed everybody.
What is the city over the mountain?
Cracks and reforms, bursts in the violet air.
Falling towers,
Zothique, Ankh Morpork,
Viriconium, Lankhmar.
Unreal.
A woman drew her long, black knife,
and fiddled whispers on my spleen,
and exposed my soul to violet light,
and upside down in air were towers.

Tolling reminiscent bells, that kept the hours,
and voices singing out of the Concent
of Saunt Edhar, in this useless convox.
Rejoice, it is Apert and I will see my sister.
Beside the tumbled graves, the chapel,
the empty chapel, Orithena.
It has no windows, the door swings,
a Teglon Puzzle of dry bones on the floor.
Hugo Gernsback wept openly.
Co co voco co co voco?
PKD smoked more ganja,
and believing he was Saunt Eramus
proclaimed,
“Flow my tears, the geometer said”
The jungle crouched, humped in silence,
then spoke Iain M. Banks,
“What Data are we given?”

Turn in the door once and turn once only,
we think of the key, each of his prison,
thinking of the key, each confirms the prison.
Only at nightfall, aethereal mechanics.
revive, for a moment, broken theoricals.
I sat upon the shore,
phishing, with all of reality behind me,
Shall I at least set my chaste lands in order?
The Proton Road is falling down,
falling down, falling down.
Logic Lane doesn’t go anywhere.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 13, 2011, 12:27:47 PM
You truly SF'd Eliot.

I love it. I love every part and I shall write you your essay. It'll be full of nonsensical ramblings, but I think I should be graded higher for the more nonsensical it gets... ::)

To quote some Sprocketlike figure: I couldn't love it any more if I tried, and I did.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 13, 2011, 01:52:29 PM
I can't believe I forgot the stanza about the cats.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 13, 2011, 02:26:44 PM
Cats and smokeables and jokeables.

Yesnuns.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 13, 2011, 02:27:46 PM
and nuns too?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 13, 2011, 02:29:29 PM
Yesnuns, but there will be No nuns. No, no, nonuns.

Ollienuns.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 13, 2011, 02:29:53 PM
Spam spam egg and spam?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 13, 2011, 02:31:03 PM
Ham, lamb, eggs and dram.

Gotta go, I have to finish making this potion.

Back later.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 13, 2011, 02:32:17 PM
Hoil toil boil and don't ryhme at the end.
You're making a spell.
What tis it?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 13, 2011, 02:49:31 PM
It will use most of my herbs and magical powers. The tallest glass bottle is almost empty, and the cork has broken on the jar of belladonna.

I'll be back.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 13, 2011, 03:24:53 PM
Then it should be a potent portent.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 13, 2011, 03:58:57 PM
I need to tempt her back. Bruce, help me out here.
http://www.brucepennington.co.uk/
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 13, 2011, 11:13:41 PM
I have been tempted, and I'm back.

I've had an eventful evening. Humph.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 14, 2011, 10:27:16 AM
Hmmm, I should post after her last comment in the hope getting her to tell us what she meant by "eventful".

Hey, I did it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 03:56:37 PM
Hey, it didn't work.

I'll have to remember that.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 18, 2011, 05:18:06 PM
Maybe The Little One's just Missing In Action.

Or run away with Molly the Circus Girl.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 05:19:19 PM
You'd think by now that she'd be having withdrawal symptoms.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 18, 2011, 05:44:02 PM
Maybe she's too drunk to feel the pain.  It is unusual though.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 05:45:14 PM
The presence of alcohol makes her presence here more likely. You don't think she might have stopped drinking, do you?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 18, 2011, 05:48:36 PM
That's a scary prospect.  A stone cold sober Frogg.

More likely she's travelling somewhere, (just a few weeks back she vanished for a week or so visiting relatives), or her internet has given up the ghost.

Maybe her and Molly gave the laptop a drink and made it ill.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 05:50:10 PM
Still, the best thing we can do is post on this thread. When I come back to a story and nothing has seemed to happened, it makes me a little depressed.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 18, 2011, 06:31:02 PM
No doubt our little playmate will return sooner or later.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 06:33:55 PM
In the meantime, I went to Review My Work and read all the advice I've given (on this account). That's kind of sad.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 07:58:30 PM
Also, it only took twenty minutes. I must be getting rusty.

Anyway, I found a great response to one of my critiques.

Quote
You know what?  You're absolutely right.  That sentence is HELLA redundant!  Once I re-read it with your advice in mind, it was almost painful to read that sentence!  Thank you!


I likes.  8)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 18, 2011, 08:20:53 PM
That's cheered you up a bit then ;-)

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 08:27:17 PM
Maybe I'm the one having withdrawal symptoms.

We're on Page 100.

Celebrate!
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on August 18, 2011, 08:52:03 PM
 :D Hooray congrats Ollie :)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 08:57:12 PM
Yeah man, I'm going to do something I rarely do and break out a trance track that I really love.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_PAHbqq-o4
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on August 18, 2011, 08:59:51 PM
Yeah man, I'm going to do something I rarely do and break out a trance track that I really love.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_PAHbqq-o4

wow nice tune and video :)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 09:02:55 PM
It's a classic.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 18, 2011, 09:19:44 PM
The presence of alcohol makes her presence here more likely. You don't think she might have stopped drinking, do you?

Will it make you feel better to know I'm halfway through a bottle of Merlot?

Yay. Page one hundred, and to be honest, most of it was our rambling about top hats and falling into bins.

We rock.

I missed this thread.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 09:22:47 PM
Will it make you feel better to know I'm halfway through a bottle of Merlot?

Yay. Page one hundred, and to be honest, most of it was our rambling about top hats and falling into bins.

We rock.

I missed this thread.

Yes, yay, don't forget things that shouldn't talk (like Character A), yes we do, and you misspelt "thatollie" in your tiny postscript. It's only one word.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 18, 2011, 09:24:48 PM
I missed that fool too, more than I missed the Internet.

Don't tell him though, it's a secret.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 09:25:41 PM
Your secret's safe with me, but you just told everyone on the internet.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 18, 2011, 09:27:16 PM
Don't worry, I made tinternet promise too.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 09:32:56 PM
Well, that's alright then.

I left various chocolate stuff around the thread in anticipation of your return. Go find some, we shall feast.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 18, 2011, 09:34:47 PM
I have an ice lolly. You have to guess which kind because I'm the Queen of the 2:35am-ness.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 09:39:03 PM
Let's see... it isn't orange, of course. I doubt lemonness, I would say Raspberry... or Green, just Green no indication of what type of Green, Green doesn't work that way.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 18, 2011, 09:40:10 PM
It's green and another colour. And then another one inside.

You know me so well.

Green is a yummy colour.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 09:42:41 PM
I heartily agree, green is a yummy colour.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 18, 2011, 09:43:41 PM
So is red. Yum.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 09:44:19 PM
So too is blue. Most of the time.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 10:00:41 PM
What do you want to do now that we're both thoroughly disturbed?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 18, 2011, 10:02:25 PM
Giggle like a loon and look forward to my birthday?

I'm cited.

We could play I Spy, but it could be problematic.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 10:06:50 PM
I spies with my massive chibi eyes something with the initials LJ or ML.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 18, 2011, 10:09:17 PM
Oh jeez, I'm now looking around my living room trying to figure it out.

Um... Lenient Judge? Mozart's Leggings?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 10:11:00 PM
Grock, Dredd better not hear us talking about lenient judges.

You have Mozart's leggings?

I should probably have put "and" instead of "or"
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 18, 2011, 10:14:53 PM
Probably.

My mind is blank.

Hmmmm.

Gimme a clue.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 10:15:43 PM
it's a big disappointment.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 18, 2011, 10:18:15 PM
Lacklustre journals and mouldy lemons?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 10:22:33 PM
One of them is the french name.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 18, 2011, 10:25:48 PM
Oh balls.

Hmmmm.

Le jsomething and Msometheing Lsomething?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 10:26:13 PM
La Jsomething, but focus on the English name.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 18, 2011, 10:29:10 PM
Okay...

[insert serious thinking face, followed by sheer desperation]

Clue?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 10:29:48 PM
We've discussed this disappointment before.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 18, 2011, 10:31:02 PM
Hang on, it isn't my laptop, is it?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 10:32:43 PM
nope, think coffee mug, my coffee mug.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 18, 2011, 10:35:16 PM
My lifeline?

Give me the second letter of the first word, pweeeaase?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 10:35:57 PM
the second letter of the first word of the english name?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 18, 2011, 10:38:07 PM
Oui, merci.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 10:42:20 PM
Mo-something L-something
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 18, 2011, 10:54:31 PM
I'm thinking. Thinking.

It's too difficult. I'm bad enough at this game when I can see the thing I'm looking for.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 10:55:30 PM
Whenever you want to know the answer, just ask.

But until then, we need more banter.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 18, 2011, 10:57:34 PM
Grrr. It's frustrating. I like winning.

Banter banter banter. Did you know my mother rips up books?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 11:00:20 PM
Whatever for?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 18, 2011, 11:01:12 PM
Art. She's an artist-type thing.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 11:03:19 PM
But, the poor books. They feel pain, you know. They have souls. No two individual copies of the same book have ever been read by all the same people. They're so alike and so different.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 18, 2011, 11:04:54 PM
I know. Le sigh.

I can't change her. She went to college a few years ago and no book has been safe since.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 11:10:58 PM
If you get into Oxford, go to the Bodleiean and find George MacDonald. It's a fair bet that one of his books will be a copy that has been read by C.S. Lewis.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 18, 2011, 11:12:16 PM
I wont get into Oxford, but in the alternate reality in which I do, I shall do so with awe and wonderment.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 11:12:57 PM
I shall find a way to get you into that library.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 18, 2011, 11:15:29 PM
We'll sneak in under cover of darkness and take jam and toast and invite Badger round.

We'll find a ray of moonlight and read it a story.

It'll be magical.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 11:16:28 PM
There's moonlight tonight, I think I told it the wrong story though.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 18, 2011, 11:18:46 PM
I told it the story of Ondine. It cried seven tears.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 11:19:53 PM
I told it The Yellow Rose of Texas by T. H. Oliot, that was probably a mistake.

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 18, 2011, 11:21:18 PM
You're only supposed to tell the moon mythology, silly.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 11:21:45 PM
And now for a sad story: I have to go soon so that I can bathe which will mean that I won't stink up the workplace. Which means it will soon be time for that thing I say when I leave. Do you want the answer to I L'espy?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 18, 2011, 11:23:03 PM
Of course, I shall take the answer with me as a token when you leave.

I should soon too, I haven't slept in forever.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 11:26:21 PM
Here is La Answer then.

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 18, 2011, 11:29:35 PM
I should have guessed. I love it.

I have a M B coffee mug.

It's a Mr. Bump one I got for my last birthday.

I'm going to ask for your advice soon.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 11:30:24 PM
Ask quick, I must leave very soon. Or will you ask at some later date?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 18, 2011, 11:33:45 PM
I'll ask tomorrow, have a nice day at work while I'm snuggled up under a duvet, all warm and content and sleeping.

;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 18, 2011, 11:40:39 PM
I'm leaving...
Curses.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 18, 2011, 11:44:26 PM
Don't worry, I'll sleep for you, and I'll make two breakfasts when I get up in the afternoon. I'll also talk to you during a beach stroll I plan on taking tomorrow evening.

Also, I'll bring you sweeties for when you finish work.

Have a nice day, na'night Lollopy Oliver.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 19, 2011, 06:27:44 AM
Ah, it's good to see The Little One is around again, even if she's currently curled up under her duvet with only her nose and eyes peeping out like a vole in a hedgerow.

Did you know that anyone who goes to work as a librarian at the Bodelian has to swear an oath that they will not 'kindle any fire'.

A mother who tears up books?  I know all families have their skeleton in the closet, their 'black sheep', but that's pretty heavy stuff.  There are some things that even being 'Arty' shouldn't excuse.  And she say's you're strange...

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Amanda George on August 19, 2011, 09:38:01 AM
I want to make up a really funny little picture book for toddlers but my brain isn't working today so I've only got a neck on my head on my shoulders... I want it to be a picture book that bares little (if any) resemblance to real life so that the toddlers I want to write it for can let their imaginations run riot as it's being read to them!

Feel free to make up a new world and/or new words and/or new creatures and/or new names of the characters!  Let your imaginations get the better of you!  lol

Feel free to offer totally fruitloop ideas - remember that I've only got about 30 sentences to write it in though!  Over to you!

Thank you!

Me
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 19, 2011, 12:40:08 PM
In the end, I called in sick and went to sleep. But I can't do any more of those all night posting sessions if I want to remain responsible.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on August 19, 2011, 01:31:42 PM
In the end, I called in sick and went to sleep. But I can't do any more of those all night posting sessions if I want to remain responsible.

and i thot playing video games all night was bad lol
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 19, 2011, 01:34:10 PM
In the end, I called in sick and went to sleep. But I can't do any more of those all night posting sessions if I want to remain responsible.

Oh dear, I feel all responsible.

I need to stop the late nights soon too, I gots learning to do when September starts.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 19, 2011, 02:27:15 PM
Ollie's old enough to take responsibility for his own actions ;-)  Just as you were a few months back, when I once offered to shoulder some of the blame for keeping you awake all night talking nonsense the night before an exam.  I remember your gracious refusal of my offer.

It's a bit of a bummer at times accepting the rest of the world not only keeps mundane hours but expects you to respect them.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 19, 2011, 02:27:54 PM
Well then, I guess we'll have to become 6 p.m. ramblers then.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on August 20, 2011, 11:21:23 AM
Don't forget the rocking chairs ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 20, 2011, 01:09:06 PM
Hmmm.

The Tale of the Six O'Clock Ramblers.

Yes, definitely something I shall have to write.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Amanda George on August 20, 2011, 01:20:58 PM
You're all ignoring me!  <whine>   :'(
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 20, 2011, 02:20:33 PM
You don't whine as well as Patti ;-)  Mind you, she's probably had more practice, and the American accent gives it an extra edge.

[Throws Amanda a bar of chocolate as a consolation prize.]
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 20, 2011, 09:04:26 PM
I'm just chilling and watching The Young Ones, cause I'm cool like that.

Ollie? Wherefore art thou?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Amanda George on August 20, 2011, 09:08:28 PM
You don't whine as well as Patti ;-)  Mind you, she's probably had more practice, and the American accent gives it an extra edge.

[Throws Amanda a bar of chocolate as a consolation prize.]

If the accent and practice is all that's required then I'll put on a fake accent and whine a bit more!  lol

Thank you for the chocolate Gyppo!   ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Amanda George on August 20, 2011, 09:10:35 PM
I'm just chilling and watching The Young Ones, cause I'm cool like that.

Ollie? Wherefore art thou?

Didn't he say he wasn't going to pull any more all-nighters or did I imagine it?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 20, 2011, 09:40:25 PM
Don't mention that travesty. It's a Sunday now, surely he ain't working.

"Lollie? I have merlot and nebulas? Come play?"
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Amanda George on August 20, 2011, 09:58:15 PM
I used to work 7 days a week, 8 hours a day, before I moved to Gloucester... I hope that's different with Ollie though!
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 20, 2011, 09:59:48 PM
God I'm glad I've never worked.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Amanda George on August 20, 2011, 10:08:31 PM
I've loved all my jobs except one!  My last 2 jobs (before I became disabled and unable to work) were great and I really miss being in the workforce!   :-\
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 20, 2011, 10:11:20 PM
I one day would like to have my own business, but at the moment, student life is quite enough for me, thank you very much... ;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Amanda George on August 20, 2011, 10:15:33 PM
What sort of business would you like to have... a writing-related one or something else?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 20, 2011, 10:17:32 PM
A bookshop/bakery. I want to do little cakes and coffee/tea with a nice bookshop, plus some of Mum's art, cause she's brilliant.

I like baking, and icing pictures onto cakes, I'll dig up a picture if you like.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Don on August 20, 2011, 10:23:11 PM
Mmm, a bookshop and bakery. I might never leave.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Amanda George on August 20, 2011, 10:27:57 PM
A bookshop/bakery. I want to do little cakes and coffee/tea with a nice bookshop, plus some of Mum's art, cause she's brilliant.

I like baking, and icing pictures onto cakes, I'll dig up a picture if you like.

Sounds great!  I hope you succeed when you've finished studying!  I would love to see a photo if you wouldn't mind sharing?  <fluttering eyelashes>
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 20, 2011, 10:28:18 PM
Customers would be good, so you stick around.

I've won three entrepreneurship competitions in the last year, so I hope it works out.

Here's a sample. Tuck in.

(These were in honour of Tim, and the re-naming of the Red Barren Bar)

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Amanda George on August 20, 2011, 10:30:12 PM
Mmm, a bookshop and bakery. I might never leave.

Me either!  If there were chocolate things too, then I definitely wouldn't!
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 20, 2011, 10:31:37 PM
Me either!  If there were chocolate things too, then I definitely wouldn't!

Oh, don't worry, there will be. Head to the bar, I bought you a hot chocolate.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Amanda George on August 20, 2011, 10:32:23 PM
Customers would be good, so you stick around.

I've won three entrepreneurship competitions in the last year, so I hope it works out.

Here's a sample. Tuck in.

(These were in honour of Tim, and the re-naming of the Red Barren Bar)



They look so yummy!  I bet they tasted great too  :)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Amanda George on August 20, 2011, 10:33:17 PM
Oh, don't worry, there will be. Head to the bar, I bought you a hot chocolate.

Oh thank you!  You're too kind!
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 20, 2011, 10:34:25 PM
I won't lie, they were delicious.

All credit to my mother, who taught me to cook when I was barely walking.

I just love to bake. I love it. Plus books, it's perfect. I just hope real live books wont die out too soon cause of the Internet and e-books.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Amanda George on August 20, 2011, 10:47:17 PM
I can't bake to save my life!  lol  The cakes I try and bake usually get burnt on the bottom and are still raw batter in the middle... I don't know what I do wrong but I can't even bake bread in a bread machine without something going wrong!  It's only Opal Fruit cakes and chocolate cornflake cakes that I can make without poisoning anyone!  lol
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 20, 2011, 10:50:46 PM
You have no idea how much I want to teach you now.

My mum taught me to bake when I was tiny, cause my dad was hardly around and the only time he was ever interested in any of us was when we'd cooked him something, so I became obsessed.

I love baking, and I make my own clothes, though that's less successful... ;)

Baking is something you have to feel. I never trust recipies, you just have to feel what's right. Plus, you can never go wrong with nutmeg.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Amanda George on August 20, 2011, 11:01:42 PM
I'm ready and willing to learn to bake - I've just never been able to!

I'm OK with sewing as long as I don't have to use a sewing machine... are you spotting a trend here?  lol
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 20, 2011, 11:03:45 PM
Just a little bit... ;D

Don't worry, I just have a thing about being able to make things without technology. It started out as research for a story and turned into a passion.

Of course, when there's an oven available, I use it... ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Don on August 20, 2011, 11:08:36 PM
My favorite cupcake is the smiley face on the left. I'll take six of those and a cup of black coffee and do you happen to have any Mickey Spillane paperbacks lying around?  :)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 20, 2011, 11:11:48 PM
Funnily enough, I have a couple... The Twisted Thing and The Girl Hunters... will that do?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Amanda George on August 20, 2011, 11:19:39 PM
Just a little bit... ;D

Don't worry, I just have a thing about being able to make things without technology. It started out as research for a story and turned into a passion.

Of course, when there's an oven available, I use it... ::)

I've wanted a food processor since I was at school (I'm 33 now), so I bought myself one and it's still in it's (huge) box in case I break it!  lol  I'm not allowed near anything hot any more in case my legs start wobbling and I hurt myself!  Me and kitchens just aren't a good mix!  lol
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 21, 2011, 10:18:25 AM
I won't lie, they were delicious.

All credit to my mother, who taught me to cook when I was barely walking.

I just love to bake. I love it. Plus books, it's perfect. I just hope real live books wont die out too soon cause of the Internet and e-books.

Your bookstore/bakery would probably save the entire industry.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 21, 2011, 10:57:24 AM
Only if you buy all the books and cakes every week.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 21, 2011, 11:01:22 AM
Do I get a staff discount?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 21, 2011, 11:02:29 AM
If you work really hard.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 21, 2011, 11:04:23 AM
I can work really hard. Sometimes I love working hard, people never see it coming.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 21, 2011, 11:07:31 AM
Well that's marvellous then.

Splendiferous.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 21, 2011, 11:37:25 AM
We are both writing.
Well, you're writing. I don't know what I'm doing.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 21, 2011, 12:18:33 PM
Right, I've got my hot chocolate, seagulls outside, cigarettes and imagination poised.

Oh, I do love to write.

Come on Ollie, let's get writing.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 21, 2011, 12:46:21 PM
I'm game.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 21, 2011, 12:54:56 PM
When she comes back, she'll need more inspiration. This should do it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgxNCwZUo3g
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 21, 2011, 01:30:12 PM
Ich. I have returned, and all I'm left with is frustration and a lot of scrunched up paper.

My muse was not inclined to visit today.

Ah well, I suppose it's telling me I should go do the shopping. The cupboards are looking forlorn.

Later, Sprock.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 21, 2011, 01:32:43 PM
She needs inspiration. I called it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 21, 2011, 01:58:32 PM
Story not flowing, wrote a short piece of "whatever this is" to try to prime the pump.

Not A Double Bill

"I only wanted to go to the airport," he said to no one in particular. No one in particular listened, and followed him on his misadventures in not going to the airport.

This no one in particular was a beautiful woman, but he didn’t know that because he hadn’t been trying to say anything to her.

When he had said that he only wanted to go to the airport, she thought he was talking to her and his lack of continuing conversation had made her mad because she really wanted to know why he wasn’t at the airport.

He got into a taxi, or perhaps it was an episode of taxi, and the taxi started to go somewhere.

This was the very last straw. Not only did he not tell her why he wasn’t at the airport, now he had abandoned the non-conversation entirely. She considered getting another episode of taxi to follow that episode of taxi but the network had scheduled an episode of Cheers to go next.

So she went home and they never slept together.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 21, 2011, 06:09:29 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UIwqUkSnIc&feature=related
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on August 22, 2011, 10:30:17 AM
Ich. I have returned, and all I'm left with is frustration and a lot of scrunched up paper.

My muse was not inclined to visit today.

Ah well, I suppose it's telling me I should go do the shopping. The cupboards are looking forlorn.

Later, Sprock.

Aww :( I hope you have a better day/week Frogg.

All the best, Franky

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 22, 2011, 11:27:31 AM
Thanks Frank. I have sweeties now, so all is well.

Story not flowing, wrote a short piece of "whatever this is" to try to prime the pump.

Not A Double Bill

"I only wanted to go to the airport," he said to no one in particular. No one in particular listened, and followed him on his misadventures in not going to the airport.

This no one in particular was a beautiful woman, but he didn’t know that because he hadn’t been trying to say anything to her.

When he had said that he only wanted to go to the airport, she thought he was talking to her and his lack of continuing conversation had made her mad because she really wanted to know why he wasn’t at the airport.

He got into a taxi, or perhaps it was an episode of taxi, and the taxi started to go somewhere.

This was the very last straw. Not only did he not tell her why he wasn’t at the airport, now he had abandoned the non-conversation entirely. She considered getting another episode of taxi to follow that episode of taxi but the network had scheduled an episode of Cheers to go next.

So she went home and they never slept together.


You've done it again. I love these Ollie, I think you should make a book of them, with some of them upside down, and some of the back to front. It would amuse me.

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 22, 2011, 04:24:30 PM
Thanks Frank. I have sweeties now, so all is well.

You've done it again. I love these Ollie, I think you should make a book of them, with some of them upside down, and some of the back to front. It would amuse me.



I was going to do a "Harry and stuff that shouldn't talk" webcomic but then I remembered that I can't draw. I'd need a drawy person.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on August 22, 2011, 08:43:20 PM
Ich. I have returned, and all I'm left with is frustration and a lot of scrunched up paper.

My muse was not inclined to visit today.

Ah well, I suppose it's telling me I should go do the shopping. The cupboards are looking forlorn.

Later, Sprock.

I forgot to add that  you could always get inspiration from Mr. Bean  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 23, 2011, 01:39:44 AM
I was going to do a "Harry and stuff that shouldn't talk" webcomic but then I remembered that I can't draw. I'd need a drawy person.

A drawy person? That's adorable.

I'm so tired by now I just attempted to draw a person on the screen with a gone out cigarette. It worked, (though it looked a bit like teddy) but I don't think you'll be able to see it.

I'm going to go to bed and have a dream about a talking lamppost now, well, after my wall clock tells me a story.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on August 23, 2011, 02:44:58 PM
I can't draw worth shit ether :( I've been told my planes look like boats :-\ lol
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 23, 2011, 05:33:15 PM
Like this? ;-)

Left click for full insanity.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Andrewf on August 23, 2011, 05:34:30 PM
:D :D :D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on August 23, 2011, 06:05:01 PM
Like this? ;-)

Left click for full insanity.

nope I draw 'fighter jets' lol

nice drawing tho hahahahhaha
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 23, 2011, 06:11:11 PM
I've just tried to draw a jet 'fighter' with a big boxing glove on its nose, but the glove looked more like an inflated condom.  So I binned it.  There is a limit to just how bad I'm prepared to appear in public ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 25, 2011, 10:48:59 AM
Frogg is in the building. Let's see if I can get her to draw Harry for me.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 25, 2011, 07:55:07 PM
Oh dear, I shall be put to the test.

Give me detailed description and style.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 25, 2011, 08:01:30 PM
He's a guy who talks to stuff that shouldn't talk back but does. What else do you really need?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 25, 2011, 08:02:54 PM
What else do you really need?

Everything.

I don't draw anything realistic, I just do stick people really. And rainbows.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 25, 2011, 08:04:32 PM
Remember all that Chef Brian crap I posted, that was some great styling.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 25, 2011, 08:06:16 PM
True, but I wouldn't want to disappoint. I always manage to when I draw something for someone.

What would he look like in your head.

Use your words Oliver. Use them well.

I'll make us roast potatoes and bacon.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 25, 2011, 08:13:05 PM
With that motivation, how can I fail? (Hint: the answer is spectacularly)

This Harry Ersatz character (as he is called) has brown hair, and he has eyes (two of them), he is mostly medium in every way except crazy. And his couch is also brown, Demetri the Sofa is important (until he gets sold to crack addicts).

I totally deserve bacon.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 25, 2011, 08:16:14 PM
I'll cook it now.

Right. I'll have to do dozens of sketches, then pen drawings and in a few days I'll have one ready to paint.

What a marvelous project. I'm rather looking forward to it.

I have to make bacon now. I'll describe it while I'm devouring it, 'till you can taste it properly.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 25, 2011, 08:19:16 PM
There is bacon here, I must cook it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 25, 2011, 08:28:06 PM
I'm rendering the fat and thinking about Harry's posture.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 25, 2011, 08:36:19 PM
Digital Rendering is unnecessary, I just want a cool drawing.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 25, 2011, 08:45:49 PM
That was delicious. How was yours?

Mine was cold by the time I finished peppering the potato salad, buttering the toast and making the tea, but it was so yummy it didn't matter.

Harry is being born properly into my minds eye, a few comic-book additions to the original image in my mind.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 25, 2011, 08:47:03 PM
Admit it, the original image in your mind was Jimmy Page.

In other news, I make good bacon.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 25, 2011, 08:49:09 PM
Funnily enough, the hair was there.

Bit less rock and roll though, more Cobain in dress.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 25, 2011, 08:57:35 PM
I did a rough sketch but then I looked down and the scanner was gone! Then I remembered that Dad needed it.

Show us some early concept art.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 25, 2011, 09:01:00 PM
I don't own a scanner. I use my camera, which is God knows where.

I'll find it in the morning, in case I knock something over whilst rummaging and wake It up.

You have to show me the sketch somehow.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 25, 2011, 09:04:01 PM
My camera is somewhere but I know not where.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 25, 2011, 09:10:51 PM
Snapsicles.

My tea has gone cold. Curses.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 25, 2011, 09:13:00 PM
Perhaps we should talk, that always seems to fix every problem ever.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 25, 2011, 09:16:42 PM
Then talk we shall.

I'm pretending this tropical juice is wine.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 25, 2011, 09:17:52 PM
I'm pretending this coffee is magic coffee.

I have found something to rip-off when you draw Rorbit.
http://www.splitreason.com/product/cad-comic/1059

So cute.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 25, 2011, 09:22:08 PM
That is so adorable. I want one.

Rorbit will be great, as will Dimitri.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 25, 2011, 09:24:00 PM
My picture has some classic "Harry and Stuff That Shouldn't Talk" dialogue.

Harry: Now I have barely a sixpence to my name.

Demitri: Don't worry, things will pick up.

and it has dialogue tags written on the walls, because that's funny... I think.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 25, 2011, 09:51:36 PM
Remember to be sneaky when drawing Rorbit. If I had some money, I wouldn't mind getting sued by Tim Buckley but I don't have money so we don't want to get sued.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 25, 2011, 09:57:03 PM
I will, don't worry.

Mum just came down and told me off for coughing so much.

Humph.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 25, 2011, 09:57:51 PM
Humph indeed.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 25, 2011, 09:59:24 PM
Here, have a slightly melted and deformed Galaxy counter. They're yummier that way.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 25, 2011, 10:03:48 PM
I have eaten many Giant Buttons, I think another lagre disk of chocolate is bad idea.

"Oh well," I said as I ate the deformed piece of chocolate. "Yum."
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 25, 2011, 10:05:17 PM
See, told you.

Made of deliciousness.

I want more tea.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 25, 2011, 10:08:40 PM
How very very of you to know of this deliciousness.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 25, 2011, 10:10:13 PM
I very know.

I want a robot to make me tea. It's so tiresome, I might fetch the dusty old pot down, but I'm worried I'd catch a disease from it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 25, 2011, 10:11:42 PM
I very doubt it has typhoid. I might though, you may recall my visit to the town's 12th century jail.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 25, 2011, 10:12:48 PM
I sense danger and must leave.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 25, 2011, 10:13:45 PM
I do recall.

I'll stick with my mug.

Are you really leaving, Lollopy Oliver?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 25, 2011, 10:25:04 PM
He's gone. Curses.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 27, 2011, 10:30:03 AM
I have returned and she isn't here.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on August 27, 2011, 11:45:11 AM
I'm still here
cue evil laugh
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 27, 2011, 11:49:57 AM
You don't count.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 27, 2011, 01:24:10 PM
He does.  Can't you hear him?  Even if only faintly because of the vast distances involved.

"Un, Deux, Trois, Quatre, Cinq, Six, Sept, Huit, Neuf, Dix..."
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 27, 2011, 01:27:05 PM
But that's just gibberish.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 27, 2011, 01:51:01 PM
But it's OCD gibberish, in the correct order ;-)

Not the same as Insomnio's inspired insanity though, I agree.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on August 27, 2011, 03:42:18 PM
I'm starting to wonder if ollies bi-polar  ???
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: 510bhan on August 27, 2011, 04:45:46 PM
He's close to Norwich. Says it all really. ;D
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 27, 2011, 04:53:05 PM
La dee da dee dum.

I haven't slept since the day before yesterday's day.

Doctor Who in a top hat. Delightful.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 27, 2011, 05:16:16 PM
I'm starting to wonder if ollies bi-polar  ???

Nah.  Ollie's just Ollie.  He doesn't need any other label.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 27, 2011, 07:49:04 PM
Nah.  Ollie's just Ollie.  He doesn't need any other label.

Ollie's just Ollie. Wonderfully Ollie. It's my new adjective.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 27, 2011, 07:56:45 PM
But you'll use it all the time, I need it for to have use of a name.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 27, 2011, 08:13:54 PM
I'll only use it once.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 27, 2011, 08:20:27 PM
I don't believe you have that degree of self control ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 27, 2011, 08:21:46 PM
Well, that's alright then. I was worried there for a second, now I'm procrastinating.

EDIT: Damnit John, she had me deworried there for a second.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 27, 2011, 08:24:01 PM
Scary stuff.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 27, 2011, 08:30:42 PM
I can't find my sketchbook.

This is cause for concern.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 27, 2011, 08:31:49 PM
Yes it is.

I drew a really good picture of Charles Bronson yesterday, this is cause for celebration.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 27, 2011, 08:38:26 PM
I can't find my sketchbook.

This is cause for concern.

Sketchpad, smetchpad.  These chaps managed okay without one.

http://www.lascaux.culture.fr/
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 27, 2011, 08:41:07 PM
Blimey.

I've fallen behind again. No art done and school next Monday.

D'you reckon if we shout loud enough, Bones will hear and brink celebration drinks for Ollie, Cobra Zero for you and whiskey for me?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 27, 2011, 08:42:34 PM
That's what he's paid for, even if he is paid in whitener.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 27, 2011, 08:44:23 PM
The you know what to do.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 27, 2011, 08:46:12 PM
I've fallen behind again. No art done and school next Monday.

Self inflicted again?

I dunno.  [Shakes grizzled locks.]

Cheers Bones, you're an obliging collection of perpendicular calcium formations.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 27, 2011, 08:53:57 PM
I can't help it.

I get too enamoured with the world.

"Cheers Bones."
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 27, 2011, 09:09:37 PM
Oh dear.

I seem to have adopted a morose shroud. I shall sleep and hope the pixies have taken it away by morning.

Night.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 27, 2011, 09:20:03 PM
You're leaving, but I've barely written anything.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 27, 2011, 09:28:56 PM
I seem to have adopted a morose shroud. I shall sleep and hope the pixies have taken it away by morning.

Possibly it's the thought of your looming birthday and the awful spectre of impending (legal) adulthood.  If so, keep this in mind.

Growing older is compulsory, but growing up is optional.  With practice you will be able to turn it on when absolutely necessary, to deal with things which need a serious face,  and play around like an overgrown child the rest of the time.

I've been doing it for years ;-)

Gyppo

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 27, 2011, 11:32:12 PM
I remember becoming an adult, it only hurts for a little while.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 28, 2011, 05:30:11 AM
There you go.  Input from someone who made the transition - quite likely on his own terms - more recently than I did.

Being an adult can be fun, as long as you keep your options open and never just abandon your inner child.  There will be times when he/she knows more than your adult self.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 03:44:48 PM
My inner child is the bit of me that smokes and stays up later... and eats all the chocolate.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 05:08:44 PM
I'm watching a really really good film.

It's really really good.

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 05:09:27 PM
ooh, what film? Tells us, tells us...
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 05:10:22 PM
Martian Child.

It's so lovely. It's making me cry.

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 05:13:37 PM
That is a tearjerker.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 05:15:03 PM
Isn't it just?

I used to hide in boxes when I was littler.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 05:17:51 PM
I used to hide in the airing cupboard, I thoughts it was a sauna.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 05:18:32 PM
I can picture that.

I gots to go.

Will you be here when I get back?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 05:19:05 PM
The magic 8 ball says, almost definitely.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 05:20:10 PM
I'm glad.

I'll meet you here at midnight.

Bring coffee.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 28, 2011, 05:20:56 PM
I used to hide in boxes when I was littler.

You mean you were once even smaller?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 05:32:25 PM
She's gone to watch a documentally on Whales, she can't hear you.

But it's likely that she was even smaller before she was small.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 28, 2011, 06:38:07 PM
Come to think of it, she once posted a picture.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 06:39:45 PM
She once had her realself as her avatar. That was very brave of her.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 06:58:56 PM
I believe that was only for a day or two, with my new shorn locks.

Come to think of it, she once posted a picture.

Now that was when I had been forced away from my books and made to dress up in a red cloak and stand next to my brother, who was being Churchill.

Oh, how I suffered.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 07:00:57 PM
You returned at the stroke of midnight, as promised.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 07:05:01 PM
I'm magic like that.

Didja bring the coffee?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 07:10:15 PM
Of course. What kind of whatever I am would I be if I didn't bring coffee when you specifically told me told bring coffee and then left before I could say that I was out of milk.

I also went milk shopping.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 07:12:07 PM
Perfectimus.

I'm full of ideas tonight.

I made pasta bake and chocolate cookies to go with the coffee.

D'you want the green plate or the blue one? You can't have the green one though, that one's mine.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 07:17:23 PM
Isn't there lellow one?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 07:21:00 PM
No, but I could paint it for you?

It might make the pasta taste funny though.

I have a yellow and green spotty bowl. Will that do?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 07:21:43 PM
I has one with me. I always bring a plate just in case.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 07:23:58 PM
Well done.

I'll get the pasta.

I'm looking at lists of Alan Rickman's films because he's the greatest actor of all time.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 28, 2011, 07:36:45 PM
I believe that was only for a day or two, with my new shorn locks.

Now that was when I had been forced away from my books and made to dress up in a red cloak and stand next to my brother, who was being Churchill.

Oh, how I suffered.

The one I'm thinking of was a baby photo, with you crawling straight at the camera, with the caption 'Coming at ya!' or similar.  A rather determined little miss ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 07:38:50 PM
Oh yes, I remember that. I have it in a book somewhere.

I keep all important photos in books, so I find one and it surprises me sometimes.

Would you like some pasta? There's plenty to go round, and it has bacon in it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 07:41:15 PM
Well done.

I'll get the pasta.

I'm looking at lists of Alan Rickman's films because he's the greatest actor of all time.

He's also a great character.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OVhinWAuiM&feature=related
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 28, 2011, 07:46:08 PM
Bacon and pasta?  Sounds like a damned good idea.  Like Ollie I too just happen to have a plate about my person.  Oh no, it's a CD.  Never mind, I'll just stick some insulating tape across the hole in the middle, and then eat the pasta with my credit card.  About the only thing the card's fit for at the moment ;-)

"Cheers, M'Dear."
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 07:51:02 PM
He's also a great character.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OVhinWAuiM&feature=related

As it said in the comments below, that was decidedly unsexy. And a little scary, but then, I find that show disturbing.

Lets have cookies now.

Hey, Ollie, I found a piece of sea glass today. It reminded me of you.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 07:52:13 PM
Am I alloweded to ask why it reminded you of me?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 07:53:24 PM
Cause it was very Ollie.

There, I used up my allowance.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 28, 2011, 07:54:14 PM
Cracked, colourful, interesting but sharp-edged in places?  Do enlighten us, Little One ;-)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 07:59:47 PM
It had obviously once been the bottom of a bottle, and you can just make out a faded 'S'. It has those raised dots on it and it's forest green. Not the normal bottle green,  but the 'expensive bottle of wine' green that's a bit more woody.

It does have one chipped edge, which is endearing.

Also, I found it by accident.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 08:00:53 PM
You mean you found me by accident as well?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 08:03:21 PM
Not really.

You summoned me, remember?

However, I stumbled upon you quite by accident in the Show vs Tell, I believe.

Ah, just remembered. I have to round up all the recycling and rubbish and put them all out in their separate bags, compartments, bins and villas. 

Back soon.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 28, 2011, 08:10:36 PM
If your normal recycling day is Monday, remember it's a Bank Holiday.  Our chaps will come a day later, and then get paid extra for catching up by working on Saturday.

But of course, you won't read this until you get back.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 08:11:52 PM
If she's going to be gone I'm going to go get something to eat in the real world.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 28, 2011, 08:16:50 PM
I'm still finishing off my CD of pasta and bacon.  I'm tempted to pop it in the microwave for a minute to warm it up again, but I know what happens to CDs when they're microwaved ;-)

I might just fade away soon, after the brain-bending effort I've expended in the caption contest.

Time for a few swigs of lemonade from the nearly flat bottle, and then I'll consoder my options.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 08:36:01 PM
I have returned with tuna and cheese toasties. Now I'll have all the protein I'll need to do whatever it is I'm supposed to do.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 08:50:58 PM
I've run out of tobacco.

How horrid. What am I to do now?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 08:51:48 PM
Journey to Norfolk, land of the plenty.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 08:54:25 PM
It's a bit far that, is it not?

I'm trying to thing of a cunning plan, but one can't do that properly without a cigarette in hand.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 08:57:21 PM
Journey to ASDA/Tesco/Sains... oh wait it's Sunday night. Journey to Norfolk, land of the plenty.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 08:59:22 PM
This is Fishguard. Everything closes at 11pm.

Norfolk seems to be my only bet. I'd never get there in time though.

Blast.

I'll go and hunt for empty packets and see if I can scrape enough together.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 09:03:04 PM
I'm going to go smoke.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 28, 2011, 09:04:15 PM
Smoke shredded newspaper, but it's bloody vile.

Go out in the dark looking for fag ends on the pavement.  Not that desperate?  Then you can probably manage without.

If you have any plantain leaves in the garden pull out the 'stringy' bits.  There's usually several which start in each stalk and run up the leaves to form the 'veins'.  You could probably dry them quickly in a microwave, although we used to dry them naturally in the sunshine.  The resultant 'tobacco' is smokable.

As far as I recall it has no 'psychedelic' effect, and probably wasn't any more carcinogenic than proper tobaccco, and we soon decided the effort of collecting it outweighed any other advantages.

Dried lettuce leaf is smokable too.  I'm told that dried rhubarb leaf tastes absolutely vile, due to the amount if acid it contains.  I figure if you shouldn't eat it you probably shouldn't smoke it.

All of which should be enough to put you right off the idea ;-)

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 09:20:54 PM
I'm very glad I scraped enough real stuff together after reading that, Gyp... ;D

I used to smoke tea when I ran out. S'all right.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 09:22:58 PM
If you run out again tonight you could always bake, although I usually smoke even more than usual when I bake so the only reason I'm posting this is because I like baked goods.

http://allrecipes.co.uk/recipe/6323/emily-s-famous-chocolate-shortbread-biscuits.aspx
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 09:24:49 PM
I like that.

'...cast a chocolate spell on you.'

Did they?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 09:26:11 PM
You nose it.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 09:27:52 PM
So they should, too.

Spells cast by Emilys always do.

You just prompted me to forage for chocolate cookies.

I founded one. You can have half, if you like.

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 09:28:34 PM
But then you'd haveta settle for only half.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 09:29:24 PM
I'll manage. I can't not share. It's you.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on August 28, 2011, 09:35:35 PM
Enjoy your cake, Young'uns.  The old grey wolf is off to his lair.

PS.  Excellent Pasta, M'Dear.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 09:36:54 PM
Thank you kindly.

Sleep well, there'll be a steaming mug of lemon tea waiting for you in the bar when you awaken.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 09:49:50 PM
Sorry I haven't been bantering for a few minutes, I've been researching one of my favourite mythological creatures.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 10:02:47 PM
Do tell.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 10:07:15 PM
I has a picture.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 10:10:37 PM
Never heard of it. How intriguing.

Mine's a griffin. Or a phoenix. Or a dragon. I love dragons.

I had one called Gawain. Still do really, if I adopt my eleven year old's flawless belief in imaginary green dragons.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 10:19:33 PM
Well, the picture is my hometown's coat of arms, so I guess it's local interest for me.

But it's also Singapore's city mascot.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 10:28:48 PM
I don't think we have a coat of arms.

The school logo is some fish and leeks.

Charming.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 10:41:33 PM
Sorry I was away again, sent Gyppo a few thoughts on the violence report.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 10:45:32 PM
I've already utilised it.

On paper, not in the life of realness.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 10:52:15 PM
There was a section that needed a tweak, and I gave him a link that he's sure to love.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on August 28, 2011, 11:02:33 PM
I've got to go to bed now.

Only four days left.

Na'night Oliver. If you do go to sleep at all (which I doubt... I'm beginning to think you might be a vampire), sleep well.

Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 28, 2011, 11:03:26 PM
I do sleep, but I won't tonight.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on August 29, 2011, 03:51:30 AM
I shall be gone when she gets back, must pre-emptively entertain her...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzz6fAdFFis&feature=related
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 01, 2011, 03:08:04 AM
Well, that didn't work at all, and now I'm talking to myself. Great.

Don't worry about it. It's not like this is the first time or anything.

I suppose I'm right. That first time was really bizarre.

Quiet you, I'm in control now.

Yes Boss.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Amanda George on September 01, 2011, 06:27:24 AM
Don't I count? ???   :'(
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on September 01, 2011, 09:09:07 AM
Don't I count? ???   :'(
MWC would'nt be the same without you :)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on September 01, 2011, 01:36:48 PM
Well, that didn't work at all, and now I'm talking to myself. Great.

Don't worry about it. It's not like this is the first time or anything.

I suppose I'm right. That first time was really bizarre.

Quiet you, I'm in control now.

Yes Boss.

Look, I'm summoned.

And I'm the boss really... ;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Amanda George on September 01, 2011, 05:55:00 PM
MWC would'nt be the same without you :)

Without my whining you mean!  lol
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 01, 2011, 08:02:09 PM
Without my whining you mean!  lol

Exactly.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 01, 2011, 10:41:58 PM
Look, I'm summoned.

And I'm the boss really... ;)

Yes Boss.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 04, 2011, 11:18:23 PM
*Shameless Bumping Alert*

Hmmm, I should do more to make this a good bump. Music time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZdNcXypFSE&feature=related
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Mastafrank on September 06, 2011, 09:47:18 AM
I guess that makes us your minions
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 12, 2011, 03:13:34 PM
So, I went conventioning yesterday. I was a helper person. I stopped for a moment and the person showing me around had vanished, when I refound them I sat down next to them and they left again because the person running the stall had returned. It took me a while to figure out that he was signing the merchandise because he'd written it. That's right, I wound up sitting next to a writer.

This writer...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simon_Furman
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on September 23, 2011, 01:45:24 AM
You're so cool. And yes, I'm bumping.

I wonder (if I make this a good enough bump) whether or not it'll wake you up...

I'm fidgeting, Ollie, come play?

Look, here's a picture by my favourite illustrator to tempt you, and a link to their website.

http://www.leewhiteillustration.com/
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: DGSquared on September 23, 2011, 04:22:16 PM
So, I went conventioning yesterday. I was a helper person. I stopped for a moment and the person showing me around had vanished, when I refound them I sat down next to them and they left again because the person running the stall had returned. It took me a while to figure out that he was signing the merchandise because he'd written it. That's right, I wound up sitting next to a writer.

This writer...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simon_Furman

Did your graphic novelist writer person know my graphic novelist writer person?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 24, 2011, 08:44:12 AM
Emily, I was awake at the time. I was just doing something else. Cool drawings.

Deb, I don't know but calling them "yours" and "mine" is a little weird. Who did you meet? I forget.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on September 24, 2011, 09:35:54 AM
Cool drawings.

Yup.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 24, 2011, 09:40:02 AM
Yup. Tea?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on September 24, 2011, 09:41:34 AM
Mmm, please. If you're making.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 24, 2011, 09:48:42 AM
I am, I am, what are we talking about today?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on September 24, 2011, 09:50:25 AM
Anything. Everything. Purple people and Jupiter's moons, whether Mick Jagger could talk to pigeons or if the rain is alive.

Can I have it in my extra big polka dot mug?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 24, 2011, 09:52:42 AM
Yes he can, yes it most certainly is, and of course you can.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on September 24, 2011, 09:56:09 AM
Lovely.

You can have a green skittle if you like.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 24, 2011, 09:58:39 AM
I'm honoured.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on September 24, 2011, 09:59:33 AM
So you should be.

Guess what happens tomorrow?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 24, 2011, 10:00:35 AM
Tomorrow is Sunday, I love Sundays.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on September 24, 2011, 10:03:28 AM
I bet you do.

I'm cited.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 24, 2011, 10:20:26 AM
Why?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on September 24, 2011, 10:21:41 AM
Cause other peoples birthdays are fun.

I get to ask you what you got and you have to save me some cake.






Cause I'm the Boss... ;)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 24, 2011, 10:23:27 AM
Yes Boss.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on September 24, 2011, 10:25:37 AM
Melikes.

I gotta go, but I'll be back later.

Thanks for answering the Jagger question. I've been wondering.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 24, 2011, 10:44:52 AM
See you later.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 24, 2011, 01:17:18 PM
She's been gone a long time. We needs to tempt her back with musics.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2tANmadmek&feature=related
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: DGSquared on September 24, 2011, 03:02:10 PM
Who you be tempting with the spell of Herbie Hancock, dare I ask? Gee, I feel like I stumbled into something with tension. Why is that?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 24, 2011, 03:04:51 PM
The Boss.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on September 24, 2011, 06:26:07 PM
Also know as; Insomnio - Queen of The Night, Frogg (with two g's), Little One, and, now she is all grown up,  SEE (Super Efficient Emily).
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on September 24, 2011, 06:43:04 PM
I have many names... ::)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: DGSquared on September 24, 2011, 06:47:38 PM
Are you a Pollywog too? I noticed a curly tail back there. ;) :)
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on September 24, 2011, 06:59:03 PM
I recently read a book which had Polliwiggles in it.  Children who can walk on water.  Its a pirate story of sorts, full of strange enchantments, mysterious dark powers, and much other weirdness.

It's called The Wave Runners, and was written by someone called Kai Meyer.

There's some nice characterisation in there.

I'm not saying rush out and buy it, but if it comes your way it's worth a few hours of your time.  But it is only the first book of a trilogy, so ends rather suddenly.

Gyppo
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on September 24, 2011, 07:03:01 PM
Managed to get it on at midnight, SEE is on the ball tonight... ::)

I want to be a Polliwiggle, I'd love to walk on water, though it'd be rather inconvenient if that meant you could never get into the water.

If I ever see it, I shall make a purchase.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on September 24, 2011, 07:22:21 PM
Crackhopper the Pirate would love being a polliwiggle, running between fighting ships and shoving little bombs through the gunports of the enemy ship.

Polliwiiggles are safe from sharks provided they don't fall over.  When they are running all the sharks see is the soles of their feet, so don't recognise them as food.

Anyway, I'm off to bed now.

Goodnight, Little One.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 24, 2011, 07:34:43 PM
You can't sleep, it may or may not be my bardsday.

I demand bards.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: DGSquared on September 24, 2011, 07:49:39 PM
Happy Barsdays and Happy Birthday Ollie! Will you be dancing on the bar with a rose between your teeth tonight?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on September 24, 2011, 08:28:00 PM
I demand bards.

You called?
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 25, 2011, 05:36:15 AM
Bardify for me, please.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: thatollie on September 26, 2011, 04:11:35 AM
Okay, so I feel a little guilty that Frogg put a huge amount of effort into my present and I've been slacking off as far as Sprocket and Frogg goes, so here's the first part of the interlude I promised months ago . . .

The First Bit of Nonsense: The Origin Story of The Insane Investigators

The rats were gathering; right where I knew they would, right in front of my hidden cameras. They were definitely planning something big. In that alley, amongst the fetid puddles and rubbish, they huddled close to each other and chittered furiously in anticipation. I watched the camera feeds from my safe location.

A large one, by far the largest I’d ever seen, came forward. All their beady eyes turned expectantly at him.

I couldn’t believe what I saw. Squinting, I got up close and personal with the screen. It really was there and not just in my imagination. This rat was the spitting image of Hitler; he even had a patch of missing fur on his left forearm with what appeared to be a swastika on it.

That’s something big indeed. So, I kept watch as he pounded his forearms on the pavement and instilled his impassioned hatred into their hearts.

“Time to make my move,” I said to myself.

However, it was too late. Someone else made their move before I had the chance. Some guy fell out of the air, hit the edge of a skip with his stomach, and landed on his back on top of the gathered masses.

This showed no respect for the due processes of the law, so I got out of the place I’d holed up in to watch the footage and went over to berate him.

“Hey,” I shouted, “what the hell?”

“I’m fine, thank you,” he replied.

This was not a good thing for him to say at that moment. “Yeah, but you just squashed a bunch of Nazi rats.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll send an exterminator’s bill to the county council.”

The sheer arrogance of this man convinced me that there was going to be no arguing with him. I turned to walk away, but he continued to talk.

“Why,” he asked, and I could sense that he had slightly raised an eyebrow, “do you care if I squash a few rats?”

I turned back to face him, and despite how quickly he’d lowered the eyebrow I had seen the movement. “I care because I was…” Then I remembered that I had been investigating rats and that wasn’t the sort of thing you told people.

“Investigating them,” he offered.

“Yes,” I said through gritted teeth.

He began to walk away; I thought I’d never see him again and that suited me just fine. Then he caught me by surprise. “Would you like a cup of tea?” He asked.

Normally, I wouldn’t have gone with him but I was thirsty.

He led me upstairs to an apartment-cum-office bearing the legend, “Sprocket and Gonzo, Private Investigators.”

“Which one are you?” I asked.

“Sprocket, my name’s first because I live here… and I’m the one who does all the investigating.”

It was a damn fine cup of tea, I’ll give him that much. However, I was still in some guy’s third floor apartment-cum-office; which was clearly an apartment first and an office second.

There was an open window behind one of the two desks in the room. I went over to confirm a suspicion I’d had. He had belly flopped onto the rats from that window. “Why did you attack all those rats?”

“I fell out of the window,” he replied calmly.

That angered me; he was trying to present his malicious attack as mere clumsiness. I wasn’t buying it. Still, there was a lot of tea left in my mug and time enough for him to convince me.

“I didn’t know they were down there,” He said, “I was investigating something else.”

From my place by the window, I had a clear view of his desk before he could get close enough to stop me. It was littered with newspaper clippings, nonsensical notes in an unusual, ideographic handwriting and other detective bric-a-brac; such as evidence bags that appeared to be filled with paperclips bent into odd shapes, fortunes from fortune cookies, some bits of string and Polaroids representing a plethora of bizarreness too eclectic to go into in this short narrative.

“What on earth are you investigating?”

He looked coolly at me, “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

The damn good tea had run out, so that meant my patience with this madman had also run out. I walked towards the door, with my parting shot carefully worded for a cool exit line. “Enjoy…”

He didn’t let me get past the first word. “I hear there’s a mouse on King’s Street that looks disturbingly like Saddam Hussein.”

I gaped blandly at him, and then rushed down to King’s Street. There was no mouse, but there was a cat that looked awfully like George W. Bush and it seemed pleased with itself. So I let the matter drop completely from my mind and went home.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Frogg on September 27, 2011, 01:24:40 AM
I love it.

You're always keeping me entertained in my increasingly unwell state. Probably cause you're the kind of guy who investigates Nazi rats.

You can have a cup of tea now. I'll try real hard not to stir it with a paintbrush this time.
Title: Re: the "too much free time" thread (possible swearing)
Post by: Gyppo on September 27, 2011, 07:07:08 AM
You can have a cup of tea now. I'll try real hard not to stir it with a paintbrush this time.

This reminded me.  I once saw a workmate at the bakery, tired to the point of working like a robot, absent-mindedly pick up the jug of eggwash use for painting the sausage rolls and take a swig from it thinking it was his tea.

I have also seen someone poke the wash-brush into their tea or coffee when cup and jug were too close together and they were working by rote.  When they took a mouthful of 'eggy' tea later they nearly gagged.

Gyppo
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